DID/OSDD Exomemory Support

A blog to help systems who deal with exo/pseudomemories/trauma Ran by one DID system

[exomemhelp]

Hello! And welcome to exomemhelp! A blog meant to support systems who deal with exomemories. Explaination of blog/terms under cut

Now what are exomemories?

Exomemories, sometimes called pseudomemories, are memories of events that did not happen to one’s current physical body. Sometimes these memories can be traumatic or pleasant. DID/OSDD system often come with exomemories, though not always. Fictives, or fictional introjects, often have these, but not all fictives have exomemories, and not all who have exomemories are fictives.

What does this blog do?

Anything that has to do with exomemories! You can vent or rant about your memories, or share the more pleasant ones. Ask for help on how to deal with them, or about system stuff in general. We also offer positivity for those who need it. Our system will also share any memories they wish to share. And don’t be afraid to be a little off topic, you can always talk about general system stuff, or maybe you just need a little pick me up, which we can do!

Who runs this blog?

As of now this blog is run by one system ( @hyenacackle ). We’re a DID system of 90+ and every part in our system have exomemories. We ask that you refer to us individually when you can but if you don’t know who you’re talking to, or just want to refer to us as a whole, our collective name is Hyena, and our collective pronouns are it/its. Currently it’s just us but if this blog goes off we might add other mods in the future. However, this being a new blog we think we’ll be able to handle it just fine.

Who can interact with/use this blog?

This blog was made for traumagenic (DID/OSDD/UDD) systems (including undiagnosed) in mind and we ask non traumagenics to not interact (we do not want to start sy*course, there are other blogs like this who are inclusive). Non systems can interact and ask questions, but do not speak over systems.

[system404singletnotfound]

Us? Valid? No way

[exomemhelp]

We made a post about missing people from exomemories and I want to elaborate on that a bit.

It’s definitely ok to miss people you love and we’re close too, but it’s also 100% ok to miss people who weren’t that good of people. Even if they were mean or down right abusive, they were still a part of your life. Just like it’s ok to miss abusers in this life, it’s ok to miss them from your memories.

[exosupport]

Some general reminders in case anyone needs to hear them!

You don’t need permission to take care of yourself, but if you want it anyway you have it from me! Please do the little things that make you happy, you’re here to live and to be enriched!

If you’re feeling remorse over something that happened in a past life I promise it’s going to be okay! I promise you deserve this fresh start, you deserve forgiveness, maybe not from specific people but in general.

It wasn’t your fault you were traumatized! I don’t care if the choices you made contributed to it or if you weren’t perfect or if your abuser told you you deserved it. It wasn’t your fault!

It’s okay if you need to take a minute, or even a long time, to process everything that happened. It’s okay that these things are still affecting you a lot, just because it didn’t happen in this life time doesn’t mean you’re weak or to blame for needing time for recovery.

Remember that you need help sometimes, even with something like this. Please don’t be afraid to open up to someone, if you can’t open up to friends but feel you need to talk about it our inbox and dms are always open!

Please take care of yourselves! :]

[exosupport]

You’re valid if your exotrauma is similar or identical to your external trauma

You’re valid if your exotrauma has nothing to do with your external trauma

And you’re still valid if you don’t have external trauma at all!

You still deserve recovery and support

You’re enough

It’s not your fault

[system-of-a-feather]

exotrauma dumping

[sarksdimension]

I’ll make a longer post on this later, but for now…

People dealing with exotrauma are completely valid. You’re not alone, your triggers if you have any aren’t silly and you’re so, so strong. Just remember that recovery isn’t linear and there’s going to be slip-ups along the way–you’re not a failure for experiencing this and you’re going to get through it.

[welcometothenightcourt]

Pseudomemories

————————————————————

What Are Pseudomemories?

Pseudomemories are memories that an alter holds that the body hasn’t experienced. They may be positive or negative memories, and are most commonly seen in introjects, though any alter can have them.

Are They Real?

Both yes and no. These memories are very real to the alter who holds them. It’s important to keep that in mind. They can cause that alter serious and very real pain and trauma symptoms (if negative), or very real comfort (if positive). They are a part of that alter and help make them who they are. Their memories are extremely real to them, and you shouldn’t discredit their experiences.

Their memories are also created by the body’s brain, and therefore are going to be connected in some way to the body and its experiences. They might not be directly what the body has experienced, but like all things alter-y, they do serve to hold some form or trauma or to provide some system comfort or help the system or that alter in some way

However, the body hasn’t necessarily experienced these things. An alter should be aware that their memories, while very real to them, do not apply to the body, and when talking about them, should be able to make that distinction.

What If They Can’t Make That Distinction?

Some alters may not be able to make that distinction, but it’s not your place to get on them for that. You might try to explain it once, but if the alter doesn’t grasp it, leave it alone. That’s a job and thing that should be approached gently and cautiously over time with a professional who knows them and their system.

What Do I Do If I Have Pseudomemories?

If you have pseudomemories, then you should try your best to remember that they are very real to you, and your memories, experiences, and self are valid. If possible, try to find that distinction between your memories and body memories. If you can’t, then that’s alright, too.

If you have negative, trauma-infused pseudomemories, (also called pseudotrauma or exotrauma) then you’re probably going to have some trauma symptoms like PTSD, triggers, flashbacks, etc. try your best to learn healthy coping mechanisms, grounding steps, good people to contact if you need help, and other ways that help you manage those symptoms. I know that personally, I like to talk to a system caretaker or emotional supporter, or write out what I’m remembering or experiencing in a personal, private journal.

If you have positive pseudomemories, then feel free to use them when you’re feeling down as a way to cheer you up, or use them to find comfort and happiness in.

Either way, I would recommend trying to find a therapist or other mental health professional. If that’s currently not a possibility for you, then do your best to have coping mechanisms, and treat them as your own memories and trauma, because that’s essentially what they are. If you’re having a difficult time with them, then try talking to someone or writing them down somewhere. No matter what, know that they don’t make you a faker or invalid in any way.

[introject-culture-is]

Introject culture is nobody (including headmates who aren't Introjects) taking exomemories seriously and not caring whenever I mention them

.

[alterhuman-positivity]

Even if you believe your memories to have never happened, they’re still real to you. They matter and they’re important, and they’re no “less” important than past-life memories. If you have exomemories you believe happened, those are also important and real. ALL types of memories are completely valid.

[exomemhelp]

Something that singlets will never understand is missing someone from your exomemories. Especially if you’re a non introject, at least introjects can find sourcemates (though they might be different than you remember them/it doesn’t feel the same). There’s this yearning for someone you know you’ll never get even a slight chance of seeing again.

So we’re just gonna let you know that it’s okay to miss people from you’re memories you aren’t with anymore. It’s okay to mourn that loss, take time to grieve but also make sure to take care of yourself.

[crossoverepisode]

When fictives talk about our pasts

By: Dick

A lot of fictives have exomemories related to our source media (not always ‘canon-compliant’ though). To singlets in fandoms these might just look like headcanons or things like that. People who haven’t had to think about what it’s like to be a fictive might subconsciously interpret these as not real, the way they would with someone talking about a work of fiction

But to us, they’re very real

Don’t treat our memories like fiction. They don’t reflect the lived experiences of the system, but they are our lives before this. When we talk about our pasts, treat those memories with the same level of respect you would anyone’s memories. No matter what you think counts as ‘real’ (and we could have a whole philosophical discussion on that topic alone), they’re real for us

Our memories affect us. The thoughts and feelings we have about those memories have a very real impact on us. And that means the way you act when we talk about those memories affects us too. No one wants to talk about something that’s meaningful to them and have whoever they’re talking to dismiss it or act like it’s a joke

Respecting fictives means respecting our exomemories, and respecting the emotions we have about them

[parablesystem]

if you have exomemories that you think of as made up by the brain, rather than as things that actually happened to you in another dimension/past existence/etc, you're still allowed to have feelings about them.

whether you miss people from them, or have trauma from them, or if they make you happy, or anything. just because they're made up doesn't mean you can't feel things about them and be affected by them, whether that's in a good way or a bad way