Man city has given me such a fucking headache lately. Ederson is kinda useless but I think there might be a deeper problem. It’s hard supporting this idiot club, and it doesn’t help you will get absolutely mocked to oblivion for being a city fan smh
I’m also super stressed over my very last exams ever, but I’ve been doing amazing, better than ever in my life. I’m vyvansed outttt
Im also still very sad about my bf breaking up w me, yet I can’t cry. Haven’t talked to him since. Not that I truly want to, but it’d be nice to have at least a sign that he misses me, or at least the idea of me. I can’t with this indifference, this radio silence. Why is he treating me like someone he never loved?
Anyways. This semester has been intense. I’ve been feeling lonely, I’ve been starving myself to look better, I’ve been trying drugs, I’ve been hooking up w random guys, been on actual dates, studying hard, training harder. Lifemaxxing and such. Yet none of that gives me purpose. This is my last semester ever as a student, then I’ll be a real person. I wonder if this solitude will be my companion forever, or if I’ll ever feel like I’m doing something spiritually worthwhile to put all of me into it. I know the only way to achieve that is to actually do something, I’m planning to. I’m thinking about doing so. I guess
I kinda like how posting on here is like screaming at the void, a virtual one. None of the things I said actually mean something to anyone but me, and I like that. For all you know, all of it could be fake. Does it really matter? One day the servers will shut down and all of this will be lost, read by no one. Just words uttered to a machine, no meaning, no truth. Only signs
I’m just rambling now. Goodnight, to anyone
Go city
