Empire State of Mind

Always under construction.

[thereignclub-trc]

quit brainrot. unfollow trolls. read essays. go down rabbit holes. have a calendar. maintain a todo list. read old books. watch old movies. turn on dnd. walk with intent. eat without youtube. chew more. train without music. plan for 15 mins. execute. organize your desk. take something seriously. read ancient scripts. act fast. find bread. eat clean. journal. save a life. learn to code. read poetry. create art. stay composed. refine your speech. optimize for efficiency. act sincere. help people. be kind. stop doing things that waste your time. follow God. craft reputation. learn persuasion. systemize your day (or don’t). write. write. write. write more. iterate violently. leave your phone at home. walk to the grocery store. talk to strangers. feed the dogs. visit bookstores. look for 1800s novels. experience art. then love. sit with a homeless man and offer them lunch. don't gossip. embody virtue. sit alone. do something with your life. what do you want to create? turn off your mind. play. play a sport. combat sports. notice fonts in trees. fall in love. notice patterns on a table. visualize it. talk to people with respect. don't hate. be loving. be real. become yourself. cherrypick your qualities. discard the useless. rejections aren't permanent. invite what aligns. accept what does not. read great people. be different. choose different. do great work. let it consume you. lose your mind. value your time. experience life.

[lamignonette]

[expletusnox]

On the balmy days you can’t help but pace due to all possibilities past, present, and future colliding in your head like a midlife crisis made maelstrom…

That’s the very definition of oppressive heat

[javarisx-fightingthosedemons]

[lifeofjigga]

No tf I don’t 

[celceta]

I love seasonal fruits they're like girl we're back lol

[prinxe-with-no-crown]

happy pride month

[expletusnox]

One day I’ll let all the things go.

[dionysian-mystery]

[ivynightshade]

fatima aamer bilal, from days where my whole world is my bed.

[text id: 5. MY MOTHER ALWAYS TOLD ME TO NEVER PLAY WITH KNIVES. I BET SHE NEVER SAW ME BECOMING ONE. / 6. I SHARPEN MY TEETH ON MY SKIN.]

[flowerytale]

Helen Oyeyemi, from “White Is for Witching”  

[latibule-e-deactivated20231012]

— Kelsey Danielle, from “Life And Other Things.”

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

ppl are so annoying “you can’t paint ur bedroom pink you’re an adult” i did not spend my entire life waiting to grow up and control my life to paint my bedroom beige

[hojolove]

I had a sales woman in furniture store try and tell me not to buy a hot bubblegum pink loveseat because she wanted me to “think about the future”

Bitch, I am thinking about the future. I already got a hot bubblegum pink couch at home and now I need a loveseat to go with it.

[madgastronomer]

when I first bought my house, I announced my decision to paint my bedroom purple. I had wanted a purple bedroom for thirty damn years, you fucking bet I was gonna have one now. My friends decided, for some reason, that I meant what one of them referred to as “14 year old girl purple” (through what’s wrong with the colors a 14 year old girl chooses, I don’t know, even if they’re not what I want as an adult). They didn’t believe me until they saw the color on the actual wall, even thought they helped me pick out paints. My mother, meanwhile, decided to get worried that if I painted my bedroom a “dark purple”, it would be “depressing”. As if, with an entire house to live in, I would spend all my time in the bedroom, which I wanted to be dark because I would be sleeping in there. In the damn dark.

I had like one, maybe two friends who were all like FUCK YEAH YOU PAINT IT WHATEVER COLOR YOU WANT, PURPLE BEDROOMS ARE AWESOME.

But when they actualy saw the finished bedroom, every single one of them was like, “Oh yeah, that’s really pretty.” (Well, the ones who supported me from the beginning were more like WOOHOO.)

And the moral of the story is: Fuck ‘em, please yourself. Either they’ll come around, or you can safely ignore every question of taste they opine about for the rest of time.

[themintycupcake]

This applies to other adulting activities, too. When I was a kid, I decided that I wanted to have a wedding cake made of doughnuts. When I got older, I figured that I would be “mature” about it and get a traditional cake, which the older adults approved of. Now that I’m 25 and facing the possibility of actual marriage in the near future, I’m just like “marriage is a social construct but it comes with tax & insurance benefits, so just give me that goddamn doughnut cake.” If they don’t like it then they don’t have to come to my wedding.

[aridotdash]

https://xkcd.com/150/

[undanewneon]

I would like you all to view my office. I’m thirty and my rainbow room is awesome, people can fight me

[spuffybot]

I’m thirty and my first big furniture purchase was a custom coffin shaped coffee table that opens up and is lined with purple crushed velvet. I would have loved it at 13 and I love it now. Growing up doesn’t mean you have to abandon what makes you happy.

[idareu2bme]

GROWING UP DOESN’T MEAN YOU HAVE TO ABANDON WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY.

[marzipanandminutiae]

the infantilization of color and decoration in the home is so bizarre to me- and such a new phenomenon

the world over, our ancestors painted their homes bright or deep or rich colors for centuries. they brought beautiful textiles into their living spaces, and made their utilitarian objects ornamented, or colorful, or shaped like whimsical things. in all cultures, at all class levels and ages, to the best of their ability. and we’re just supposed to throw away centuries of the basic human desire for beauty and visual interest because some asshole decided like 40 years ago that anything beyond a Pop of Color and an IKEA fake plant was “childish?”

fuck that

[expletusnox]

Never been the girl who thought to make herself at home. For someone who wants forever and swears that I have no commitment issues with the way I deep dive into my mistakes… I never leave a personal touch. My walls are without photos, my color scheme inherited like my skin tone. & as much as I long to say mine, I do it so hesitantly. I never thought I’d be excited to hold a paintbrush. I never thought I’d settle in anywhere. I’m always ready to walk out the door. Maybe I’ve been waiting so long for someone to build a life with; I hesitated doing it myself.

I think doing it myself meant it’s mine, and mine alone. That was the scariest part, the idea that… Maybe I won’t ever share it. Maybe we never pick paint together. We don’t bicker over furniture and color schemes. There will be no marks on the doorframe for our children. We will not pick out a Christmas puppy. There will be no holiday cards. Maybe I do without the yard & garden, a fire escape herb pot more than enough for this party of one. It’s been officially a year or so since I last spoke to someone I loved romantically… & I finally feel as if I’m painting over all the places I thought he’d fit.

I think it means not replacing anyone, but rooting that desire from the ground up. I’m not sure if anyone will ever fit again when I’m done. That’s the scary thing about becoming enough.

[expletusnox]

Somedays it hurts fresh, ngl. Its important to remember you miss moments, things with the person. Not them. Feels too alike for my liking though.

Like I miss it bad; but idk if it’s bad enough to trade my current reality in. It was something I didn’t know I’d ever want. You’re something I didn’t know I’d ever stop accounting for in my future.

Wild.

[inkskinned]

i had a dream last night that you apologized. it was for real this time. my hands shook while i read it; waiting for you to do the thing you always do - chewing on my lip, i was waiting for you to make it about you. waiting for the part where everything shifts and suddenly - again! - i'm taking care of you.

it's never really your fault, something is always "happening" for you. you always have an excuse. it's hard to explain because my heart is too gentle. i keep finding reasons to forgive your repeated actions. i keep saying well, you didn't have it easy or that was a hard time or maybe i just upset you enough for that reaction. i talk about how i was a troubled kid once. i talk about how people stuck by me when i went dark. i give you what i never got.

i texted my siblings about it: you ever remember something and then get mad about it all over again. and still, that little voice inside my head - did i not explain myself explicitly enough? am i being unfair? the boundary i drew had been communicated, but what if i should have given more chances for you to get used to it?

i had a dream you finally saw things my way. that you said - i realized why you were hurting. i caused that. i'm sorry. i had a dream that i know i'm going to have to talk about in therapy.

you want to know the worst part? i would forgive you pretty much instantly. i would roll over and let you back into my life immediately. i would tell everyone that you've turned over a new leaf. i would defend you like an attorney. i'd say how you've been working hard and finally apologized to me. i'd tell them all that the bare-minimum from you was finally showing.

that's all it would take. a single, real i'm sorry. and it's knowing that you can't do it. it's knowing you will never, ever take responsibility.

[wheredoalltheducksgo]

How to (not, of course) still access z-library (kinda) safely.

complete and clear guide (that actually works) for desperate and bitter people.

Keep reading

[ratrewards]

How to access zlibrary after the ban:

just wanted to share a workaround for the zlibrary ban that is currently working for me:

These are the apps I used.

- use this link to get to zlibrary on the tor browser:

http://zlibrary24tuxziyiyfr7zd46ytefdqbqd2axkmxm4o5374ptpc52fad.onion/

- create account on zlibrary website

- get telegram app and search for @firstlibrarybot and start a conversation with it

- go to the menu on the zlibrary website and click on "⚙️ edit profile". scroll down to "link to telegram bot" and copy the link

- paste the link into the telegram chat to link it to your account

- now when you go to zlibrary there's an option to "send to telegram" and it works

[sweatermuppet]

hi here's a booklist of contemporary poetry (ZLibrary, epubs + PDFs, free to download). already more than 100 books, but plan to add more as they become available + as i read them <3 enjoy!