Don't Let Me Go ⋆.˚ ☾⭒.˚ 3.6K
Author’s Note: I don’t know what it is, but I correlate Bang Chan with One Direction lol. This is loosely inspired by One Direction’s song Olivia so it starts sad, but it has the happy ending we all know and love.
You remember the day you had given up as if it played out only hours ago. The weather matched your emotions, a torrential downpour outside as Chan stood in the doorway of your apartment. His cheeks were tinted red as his eyes brimmed with tears. You were beyond emotionally exhausted with him. You loved him, god you loved him, but you knew you needed more. Deserved more in that moment as Chan said nothing to you as you poured your heart out to him.
“Chan, I don’t know what else to tell you. You’re so caught up in your career now that I feel like I don’t even know who you are anymore. I always see you working your ass off, and don’t get me wrong, I’m so proud of you. It’s just - Chan, I need more. I miss how we were before the fame,” You used the sleeve of your sweater to wipe the side of your face where tears began to spill over, “I love you. I love you, I really do, Chan. I’m just… I’m done. I need some time right now.”
That was a month ago now as you numbly laid in bed, a glass of half-empty wine next to you on the bedside table. You fell into the pillows, lying in bed with his t-shirt on, and your mind replayed over and over again that night everything went wrong. How he watched you. He knew you were broken, but he stood in front of you defeated. You knew he was done fighting, too, and that hurt you even more than the fact that you felt you both had truly grown apart.
What made it worse was Chan knew he went about it wrong, too. He should’ve fought for you, and reassured you in the ways only he could. Instead, he stood there like a fool as you cried over the lack of effort he was giving you. You weren’t wrong, either, as he knew he’d been absent from you. Work had been taking a toll on him as the next album release towered over him and his group as they rushed to finalize everything for the comeback.
With you, everything mattered to him. Without you, nothing mattered to him anymore.
Chan laid in bed shirtless as his laptop sat in his lap. He looped the same beat he was in the middle of producing over and over again, absentmindedly. Now that he was alone all you did was live in his imagination. He thought about how right you were when you said how perfect things were for you both before his fame. Even now, Chan reminisced about you as if you hung the moon yourself and chose where all the stars aligned in the night sky. He missed you, and he loved you. Oh, how he loved you.
Tossing his laptop to the side, Chan moved with haste as he showered quickly before heading out the door of his home. He needed you, he knew that always and forever ago. He knew what he needed to do as he got in his car, the engine roaring to life on the highway as he sped towards your apartment. He knew you needed time, but how much of it? It wouldn’t hurt to ask, or to see your face and hear your voice if it meant asking you that one simple question in person.
When he finally parked, he almost forgot his keys as he scrambled out of the vehicle and made his way towards the doors of your building. How lucky he was to find someone to let him through the locked doors leading into your apartment’s lobby. Climbing the flights of stairs towards the floor of your apartment, Chan’s head spun with all of the words he wanted to say to you, and he kicked himself for how wrong he was to not tell you them a month ago.
Knocking on your apartment door, Chan waited in silence as his heart thundered in his ears.
Lying in bed, you jolted upright at the sound of knocking against your front door. You didn’t expect anybody to be here, so you approached the door slowly before looking into the peephole. You stepped back in shock as you knew exactly who it was - Bang Chan. You almost wept in relief and anxiety knowing exactly what conversation you were about to have as you slowly opened the door.
Chan stood before you in gray sweatpants and a black hoodie with the letters “SKZ” in bold, red graffiti on the front. You took him in slowly as you looked him over head to toe, and your body shivered in response. Those fucking sweatpants he always wore stretched deliciously as he shifted from one foot to the other with nervousness.
You had to remind yourself that now was not the time to play games as you opened the door wider to invite him in. Graciously, Chan stepped inside as you shut the door behind him, and a new energy had settled between you two. It was charged with sadness and a mix of need as you took each other in.
“Y/N…” Chan trailed off as he fought back tears, bringing you both back to the present moment, “I’m so sorry for what happened between us. You were right about everything. I was failing as your partner and I didn’t know what to tell you. When you told me how you felt, I knew then that I failed you for sure, and I didn’t know what to do anymore.”
Your mouth fell open with shock and sadness at Chan’s words as he finally opened up to you. A tear slipped down his cheek as he added, “I just want you to know I always loved you, and I always will. I live for you, and with everything that happened between us, I long for you, Y/N. I know it might be too late, but please, don’t let me go. Even if more time is still what you need, I promise I’ll wait however long you need me to wait for you.”
Tears filled your eyes as you looked down at the floor. You had been with BangChan since before there was a beginning for him over eight and a half years ago. You thought back to when he was finally able to tell you he’d be debuting with StrayKids. Almost everything he went through you had gone through with him, too. From the company he worked for, to the members of StrayKids, and to the fans he accumulated you never expected to be where you were with him now.
Your heart melted as you stepped towards him, and his arms opened instinctually as he held you in his arms a second later. Your hands gripped onto his hoodie to ground yourself as you cried, and you could feel tear drops in your hair as Chan cried, too. The moment was vulnerable, raw, and filled with every answer to both of your questions as you both felt whole again in each other’s arms.
“I love you,” You whispered softly into his chest as he squeezed you tighter then.
“I love you, too,” Chan answered immediately, his voice raspy with emotion. Taking his hands into yours, you stepped back to look into his eyes then as you smiled shyly through your tears. His face was just as perfect as you remembered, even through the tear stains and flushed cheeks.
Chan thought the same as he took you in, noticing immediately his t-shirt you wore, and his heart melted at how precious you were to him in that moment. So much so, in fact, that his head dipped down to kiss your lips gently. He pulled away to study your face, looking for any indication of rejection, but instead he collided with your lips again as your arms wrapped around his neck to drag him flush against you.
You missed him in so many ways that your head spun frantically with all of your emotions. But when your lips met his, it all melted away peacefully. His presence silenced your worries, and everything he did made you swoon effortlessly. Even now you swooned all over again as his head tilted to deepen the kiss. You sighed into the kiss as your body arched further into him, and his hands roamed your lower back in response.
(You Rock My World by Michael Jackson started playing so you best believe this is gonna be good.)
Chan broke apart from your lips to trail kisses gently along your jawline as your breath hitched in response. His lips found the spot where your jaw ended, leaving another kiss, before grazing his lips over the shell of your ear.
“Up,” His voice was low as you followed his command, instinctually knowing what he wanted. Chan’s hands slipped over the curve of your ass as you jumped in his arms, your thighs locked around his waist as his arms held you in place. Your arms found their way around his neck as your hands cradled the back of his head lightly. You let out a soft moan of contentment as your hands roamed through his hair, feeling the familiar thickness of his hair even with how much he had straightened it.
“Somebody missed me, didn’t they?” Chan’s eyes were soft as he met yours when you pulled back to look at him. Nodding your head silently in response to Chan’s words, you could see his eyes pool with lust as they dilated with mischief.
“If this is too much, I’ll put you down right now,” Chan tells you, his voice raspy with restraint.
“Fuck, Chan, we’ll talk after,” You scold him lightly before your mouths collide. Teeth and tongues clashing against one another as heat consumed you both. Chan tightened his grip a bit more as he started walking expertly through your apartment, and your thighs tightened in response around his waist.
Once in your bedroom, Chan kicked the door closed behind him with the heel of his foot before walking towards the edge of your bed. Laying you down gently, your legs loosened around him as he broke the kiss to guide you farther up the mattress. He climbed onto the mattress with you before sitting back on his legs, his hands gripping his sweatshirt before throwing it off of him in one swift motion.
Your panties dampened as dopamine coursed through you just by taking Chan in with your eyes. A part of you swore that the break, or whatever this really was, had fueled his gym sessions as his veins popped out along his toned biceps. His abs tensed deliciously as he fought to catch his breath as his eyes roamed over your body possessively. If this wasn’t what heaven was, it could certainly wait as Chan leaned back down to kiss you again feverishly.
Chan’s hands slid underneath his t-shirt you were currently wearing as he moved them upwards to cup your breasts. His thumbs grazed over your nipples softly as a moan slipped from your lips. You could feel him smile against you as he kissed you again, but before you could say anything his hands moved down to grab the ends of your shirt.
You leaned forward as Chan leaned back to slide the fabric over you, tossing it to the floor as his lips met your collarbone as he pushed you back onto the mattress again. He trailed kisses towards your breasts eagerly as his fingers played with your nipples lightly. His mouth latched onto your right breast as his hands slipped down to push your shorts and panties down your hips ever so slightly.
As Chan’s weight shifted on top of you, you felt his hand slide underneath the fabric of your shorts. Your legs parted in welcome as his hand pushed your panties aside with practiced ease. His middle finger dipped between your wet folds to circle over your clit in time with his tongue circling your nipple. Your moans were music to his ears as you shifted under his touch before he pulled away from you altogether.
“Chan!” You groaned out in frustration, your body on fire from what little he had done to you. Chan said nothing as he smiled knowingly, taking his time as he slid your shorts down your legs. You pulled your feet out of them as Chan tossed the shorts onto the floor, adding to the pile of discarded clothes. Chan looked at you then, really looked at you, laying in front of him in just your underwear as his lips parted slightly with admiration.
“You’re so fucking gorgeous,” Chan tells you steadily, meaning every word as he leans back over you. More kisses follow as his head trails your stomach as he kisses along your soft skin delicately. His hands move to hold your legs open possessively as he continues shifting downwards, the thin fabric of your panties soaked in your arousal now as he finally hovered over the damp fabric.
You knew what was coming as you braced yourself desperately, your hands gripping the blanket on your bed as Chan’s hold on you solidified. You felt his teeth nip at the fabric of your panties before pushing them to the side with his teeth, exposing your glistening folds to him.
“You’re so fucking dirty for that,” Your voice is uneven with lust as you look down at Chan, a smug smile on his face knowing just how arousing that was for you.
“Let me show you just how dirty I can be,” Chan licks his lips smugly before his head moves between your thighs. You feel the heat before it’s on you, Chan’s tongue sliding out to spread your pussy lips apart slowly as he tastes every part of you. His tongue worships lazy circles over your clit as your legs tense in pleasure.
“Bang Chan, Chan, holy shit-” You repeat Chan’s name like a mantra as if it will keep you grounded amongst the pleasure.
When Chan’s tongue circles over your entrance before pushing in, you were gone, his name replaced with strangled moans as his tongue fucked into you slowly. Your back arched off the mattress, hands gripping his hair for support as he set a pace that made your toes curl. Lost in the haze of pleasure, your hands made contact with Chan’s as they held you down, digging your fingers into his own as a feeble attempt for support.
A second later, Chan flipped his hands over as his wrists held you in place instead. He held your hands in his as he continued to eat you out, and each lick was met with a desperate moan from you as the familiar coil built deep in your lower stomach. As Chan angled himself so his nose nudged against your clit just so, you were done for, and you knew it as your legs fought to move as you squirmed underneath him.
“Chan! Chris! Fuck!” Every one of his names fell from your lips as your walls clenched around his tongue as you came, your hands squeezing in Chan’s grasp as you tugged at him as you convulsed. Chan lapped at your juices greedily, making sure not to waste a single drop as he moaned into you, and the vibrations made your legs shake as your waves of pleasure crested.
“You have no idea how much I’ve missed that,” You heard Chan rasp as his mouth moves away from you, your orgasm dwindling slowly. He sits back as he lifts your hips and pulls your panties off in one swift motion, another addition to the pile of clothes on the floor. Climbing over top of you, Chan’s hand grips your neck just right as your breath hitches in response. He was nowhere done with you yet, and you knew it.
“Have you missed me just as much?” His eyes bore into yours, searching for a genuine answer. You half-moan, half-sighed as your legs parted further, inviting him in as a response, and Chan pulled you in by the neck to kiss him softly. God, you missed the way he choked you, and he knew exactly how to get you off when he ate you out. Your pussy was drenched with a new wave of arousal thinking of him filling you completely, and you swore Chan could read your mind as he let go of his grip on your neck to take his boxers off.
Before you could think, Chan was back on you, his hand sliding around your neck as he positioned the head of his cock against your entrance. He moved his cock between your folds, using the tip to press against your clit before moving down towards your entrance, pushing in ever so slightly before pulling himself back out. He repeated the motion up and down, over and over again, coating himself in your arousal as your hips bucked, your body begging for him in a way you never experienced before as his grip around your throat loosened.
“Chan!” You cried out desperately, and he met your eyes with a smirk before kissing you gently. A very weak attempt at innocence on his part.
“Fuck, Chan,” You stuttered, “You’ve always been such a tease!”
“I know,” He let out a choked laugh as his tip pushed into your entrance before stilling inside of you, “But I’m your tease. Forever,” And in that moment, Chan pushed himself into you completely. His cock stretched your walls in the most delicious way that had your head dipping into the pillows as your eyes rolled to the back of your head in pleasure. He stretched you perfectly, hitting every nerve ending inside of you, and your legs wrapped around his waist in an attempt to keep him here forever.
“Tell me you’re mine, baby,” Chan kissed your lips before adding softly, “Tell me you’re mine forever, too.”
You looked into Chan’s eyes, tears brimming as you processed how much you loved him, how much you missed him, and how much you needed him as you whispered, “I’m yours… forever, Chan. Always and forever.”
Chan had to fight back tears as his lips crashed into yours again. His cock sat inside of you, hard and leaking, but his tongue was on a mission of its own as it explored your mouth. The two of you kissed hot and wet, filled with all of your unsaid words up until his hips began to roll inside of you, and you cried out from the sudden movement.
“That’s it, baby, you’re taking me so well,” Chan turned to whisper into your ear before licking your earlobe and nipping at it sensually. The act sent chills down your spine as you clenched around him as he continued to thrust into you. Chan practically whimpered then, whimpered as your walls fluttered around him.
“Fuck, I missed you,” Chan’s pace picked up speed then as he continued, “Missed how well you take me, Y/N.”
Your hands sifted through his hair as you listened to him babble before gathering the strength to respond, “That’s right, Chan, tell me how much you need me.”
Chan moaned at your words as he angled his pace to hit that sensitive spot inside you that he knew so well. The reward had you moaning with each thrust as he answered you, “Y/N, I fucking need you. I need you so fucking bad it hurts. When I have you like this it feels so fucking good, baby. You’re so good f’me. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too,” You clawed down Chan’s arms as that familiar coil built inside of you in time with Chan’s thrusts.
“Chan, I’m gonna cum!” You cried out a moment later.
“I know, baby. Cum with me, yeah?” Chan’s hand slid up to grip your neck, the pressure sending your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you moaned at the dual-sensation. Your vision blurred as your orgasm peaked, not able to care whether or not it was at the same time as you creamed around Chan’s cock as the waves crashed over you. You were fucked dumb in the only way Chan could fuck you as he came inside of you right after, slowing the roll of his hips to draw out both of your orgasms as you moaned senselessly around him.
Your orgasm dwindled as you melted into the sheets satisfied. Chan stayed inside of you as he softened, and you both groaned with sensitivity when he finally pulled out of you moments later. Before Chan could lay with you, though, he stood up and walked towards your bathroom like he owned the place.
And as a matter of fact, he did, and you knew it. But not only did he own your space as much as you did, but he owned your heart, too. And you knew you owned Chan’s as he returned with a wet cloth from the bathroom to clean you carefully, doing his best to avoid overstimulating you as he wiped you down carefully. He whispered sweet-nothings into the skin of your thighs as he kissed them gently, making your heart swell with emotion.
After folding the clothes scattered on the floor once you were clean, Chan finally sunk into the mattress next to you as you dozed off. He was perfectly content as he pulled you against him, chest warm against your back as he pressed soft kisses into your hair, inhaling that familiar scent of yours that he missed oh so much.
“Don’t let me go,” You whispered as sleep began to wash over you.
“Never,” Chan answered as he felt you relax into his arms, drifting off into a peaceful sleep you hadn’t felt in the last month.
