10 POINT REVIEWS

Eclectic genres and opinions! Off the cuff film reviews based around 10 (perhaps more or less) points. May get ranty, may contain swears. . Feel free to agree/disagree and share your opinion/ask me a question by clicking on the message option! : )

[theotherhayley]

Check out my Spectre review here: 

http://dailybusinessgroup.co.uk/2015/10/bond-not-so-dark-with-a-surprising-climax/

9am showing, still crowded : P

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Chak De India! : HAPPY NEW YEAR (2014)

Farah Khan’s follow up to the pretty much perfect OM SHANTI OM (2007) - glossing overTees Maar Khan because, come on…(I think I’m one of the few who really enjoyed it)HAPPY NEW YEAR is a heist movie / wacky comedy / dance competition / chance to perve over SRK / possibly the most patriotic movie since freakin PARDES (1997). It’s loud and brash and sentimental and in your face. It’s also not entirely successful as a whole. However, that’s not to say it completely fails because I don’t feel that it does. So lets go over the highs and lows:

1) SRK. You know, I give an immediate pass to any film starring the man (except maybeGUDDU, goddamn) and Farah Khan has never been one to shy away from showcasing his attractiveness. So if you want to drool over SRK, you will not be disappointed. Plus he’s on funny form here ex: his ‘supercalifragalistic’ speeches, his deliberate attempts to not say ‘World Dance Championships’ clearly, and other such fun moments.

2) The songs. Nice, fun picturisations and nearly all are immediate ear worms. Plus the cinematography/choreography of the medley number at the climax = very nice. Might I saylovely.

3)Sonu Sood, Abhishek, Boman et al are such a fun supporting cast. I love them all together and the elevator ‘thinking’ scene is hilarious.

4)Deepika Padukone as Mohini. Mohini is such a fun character and it’s so refreshing to have her chasing SRK’s booty rather than the other way around.

5) The comedy. I know I mentioned it alongside SRK, but it is where I feel the film truly succeeds the most. I think I share a lot of Farah Khan & her husband Shirish Kunder’s sense of humour as I always find a lot to laugh at in their films (Tees Maar Khan felt very much like a merging of the two) and there are some great scenes here.

6) Here’s where I talk about the lows. Jackie Shroff as the villain Grover is underused in a BIG way. One thing I love about OM SHANTI OM is that Arjun Rampal was given such a juicy, moustache twirling ultimate asshole to play. Grover here is barely in the movie and he presents no obstacle to our heroes. C’mon Farah, give Jackie something to do other than stand and glower.

7) The plot is paper thin. Wafer thin. Like maybe even invisible.

8) Because it stars Boman Irani and SRK, I can’t help but compare it to another heist movie starring those two, which is DON 2 (2011) and HAPPY NEW YEAR pales in comparison. However, I realise this to be slightly unfair because one is more interested in being a SPECTACLE and one is a serious movie. But it’s a comparison I can’t help but make.

9) It’s not OM SHANTI OM. Yeah, i know, what kind of point is that? But you know, I was so hyped for this movie because I love OM SHANTI OM so much and there’s nothing so bitter as failed expectations. It’s what stopped me from writing this review after my first viewing (because let me tell you I would have been a lot harsher) but once I got over that I started to appreciate HAPPY NEW YEAR for what it is.

10) It’s goddamn annoying to search this movie lol. I just get New Years related stuff.

So to conclude: It’s not OM SHANTI OM, but it’s fun if you’re in the mood for something fluffier and sparklier than a stuffed unicorn.

RATING: 6 stars out of 10

BONUS: C’mon, SRK’s in it…If I give bonus stars I’ll create a new galaxy and it would be entirely unfair.

Click here for Trailer

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What’s up movie lovers? Going to be trying out a new format where all my reviews be written via 10 easy bullet points. This is to encourage me to write more of them and to allow myself to concentrate on aspects rather than the whole. I’ll still write a summary of my overall verdict at the end...but lets see how it goes : )

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DIVERGENT (2014)

There's seemingly an endless list of movies and books that may have 'inspired' DIVERGENT: The Hunger Games, Harry Potter and Logan's Run are but three. That's my way of saying that this movie is hugely derivative.

Here we've got Tris, a blah young girl who is taking the test to determine what faction she'll belong to for the rest of her life. She could be a farmer or a clever person or a blah blah or a blah blah blah blah or a Dauntless: the so called 'lawkeepers' who seem to enjoy running and jumping over just about any other way of moving.

But Wait! Tris doesn't fit into any of these narrow groups! That's because she's a divergent, which seemingly is a person who thinks logically...because that's basically all she does (apart from when she chooses to not kill two bad guys - shooting one in the leg and knocking out the other - but does choose to shoot her friend dead when she could have aimed for his knee/arm/whatever). This makes her 'dangerous' but she tries to conform by choosing Dauntless.

There's also some romance but it's cliche and not very involving. That said, like most young adult movies there's a certain appeal and it's enjoyable for the most part (just don't think too hard).

RATING: 5 stars out of 10

BONUS: - 1/2 star for use of the cliche ‘boy coming up behind girl to show her how to do something’ sexy tension builder

[explorecinema-blog]

HIGH SCHOOL HANGOVER: WILD WILD WEST (1999)

Alongside Independence Day and Men In Black, WILD WILD WEST was one of the three movies most likely to be played to an audience of teens not entirely paying attention during a free period (or the day before a holiday) at my old high school. I guess maybe one of the teachers was a Will Smith fan, or it was just that time in the late 90′s/early 2000′s when he was at the peak of his popularity. 

Anyway, Men In Black I’ve always been able to take or leave, and Independence Day is a movie I’ve grown to enjoy quite a lot (most in part to Jeff Goldblum’s tall yummy-ness), but WILD WILD WEST has always been my favourite of the three. 

But it’s terrible! You might cry...well, yes, it is. I cannot deny that fact. However, I revel in its badness and you should too. I’ve never seen the TV show, it was several decades before my time, so I’m not really bothered that it butchers it (oops), and Kevin Smith can bitch about the giant spider all he wants, just because I love Clerks 2 doesn’t mean I’ll listen. So here’s 10 reasons to watch WILD WILD WEST:

1) Will Smith looks handsome in period clothing. Plus, I’m told you can catch a glimpse of his penis if that’s your thing. 

2) Kevin Kline. Just Kevin Kline.

3) FUCKING AWESOME opening credits sequence, and the film score is pretty darn awesome too!

4) Kenneth Branagh at his most....Kenneth Branagh-est (and that’s saying something). I mean, he has no legs, he’s talking in an over the top southern american accent, he has a ridiculous beard (which Wes Bentley stole for The Hunger Games), he’s a racist pervert with a hard on for spiders and every single shared dialogue between him and Will Smith is hilariously offensive. 

5) Salma Hayek is damn pretty.

6) The look of the film. It’s very cartoonish to be sure, saturated with bright blues and oranges and browns, but it’s clean and bright and memorable.

7) THE GIANT SPIDER. Just WTF. Why would Loveless build that? Why does he think it’s a superior mode of transportation? LOL WHO CARES. 

8)The steampunk-ish machines and costumes. 

9) Kevin Kline and Will Smith in drag. You may go blind, but Kenneth Branagh seems to enjoy it. 

10) Kevin Kline manages to finish Da Vinci’s designs for a flying machine in like one cut....and he builds a successful plane in around two minutes it seems...which he then flies off of a cliff. SOUNDS REASONABLE. 

So if you’re looking for a movie that’s ‘hard, pumping and undeniably steely’ (now say that like you’re Scarlett O’Hara in drag) this is it!

Click here for the trailer

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THE CARDINAL (1963)

Otto Preminger's three hour epic tale of the life of a hot American priest, THE CARDINAL stars Tom Tryon (who so hated the filming experience that he gave up acting to become a novelist) as Father Stephen Fermoyle, the titular Cardinal who starts off as a mere priest and works his way to the top.

Throughout the film he deals with his love for his sister versus his duties as a priest, his sins of ambition and pride, his love for a beautiful woman (Romy Schneider), racial intolerance, the rise of the Nazi regime and his own doubts about his faith.

It's a long film, but it manages to deserve all of its run time by touching on as many topics as possible. The supporting cast is uniformly good, and the film looks stunning (but that is not always helped by a somewhat poor blu ray/dvd transfer.

Tom Tryon himself is mostly okay. He manages to possess, like Richard Chamberlain in The Thorn Birds, an inner serenity that makes him believable as a priest, however his performance is not always all it could be. Romy Schneider brightens up the screen in the second half as the woman who almost tears him away from his vows - she is cute and beautiful and her fate is genuinely sad.

All in all, if you're a fan of 50's and 60's Hollywood epics, or The Thorn Birds, you would most likely enjoy this film

RATING: 8 stars out of 10

Click here for trailer

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BUFFALO '66 (1998)

Oh Vincent Gallo...there are many things to be said about him. Eccentric, egomaniac, genius, asshole, narcissist, overrated, underrated...the internet could go on. He famously entered into a rather pathetic war of words with film critic Roger Ebert over (Gallo's) infamous Cannes entry THE BROWN BUNNY (2003), in which Gallo recieves unsimulated fellatio from his then girlfriend Chloe Sevigny - after 2plus hours of driving footage, that is. He criticised Francis Ford Coppola and then went on to star in Coppola's TETRO (2009), and here, after BUFFALO '66 was done, he criticised co-star Christina Ricci, calling her a puppet amongst other insults.

So when it comes to watching a Vincent Gallo film it's hard to deny, if you've heard of the man, that it comes with a certain amount of baggage which is a shame as he is rather talented. Starting off in smaller or secondary roles in films like GOODFELLAS (1990), THE HOUSE OF THE SPIRITS (1993) and ARIZONA DREAM (1993) he graduated into lead roles in Indie movies and, indeed, his own directorial efforts.

BUFFALO '66 is perhaps his best film. (Apparently) Borrowing heavily from his own life, it tells the story of Billy Brown - a man just released from prison - who kidnaps a cute tap dancer (Christina Ricci) and forces her to pretend to be his wife to impress his uninterested parents. It's part drama, part weird comedy and it really, really works. The cinematography, for all its focus on the dull and the drab world these characters inhabit, is bleakly beautiful. Gallo & Ricci give great, realistic performances and Anjelica Huston is near unrecognisable as his sports obsessed mother.

It's got something of a cult following but it deserves wider love, I think. 

RATING: 9 stars out of 10

Click here for trailer

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HIGH SPIRITS (1988)

It's funny - when I don't see this film for a while I forget about it but, every time I see it again I remember that I LOVE it. I know it's not perfect. Director Neil Jordan was locked out of editing and states that the final product does not resemble his intentions at all. It's haphazard and doesn't always flow well from one scene to the next. It brings up plot points and then drops them without resolution and it is perhaps too loud and brash in some scenes....

But despite all those things, HIGH SPIRITS is a film I enjoy a lot. It begins with Peter Plunkett (Peter O'Toole) a suicidal owner of a failing castle/hotel whose American landowner is threatening to ship the entire castle to Malibu if Plunkett can't manage to make money. Hitting upon the idea of creating a haunted hotel he dresses his staff up as ghosts and manages to secure a bus full of American tourists. But while his attempts at a haunting are inept and annoy the guests, they anger the real ghosts who come out to show everyone what a haunting really is.

As the film approaches its second half the love story of Jack (Steve Guttenberg) and beautiful ghost Mary (Daryl Hannah) takes prominence. He interrupts the nightly repeats of her murder at the hands of her jealous husband Martin (Liam Neeson) thereby freeing her from the cycle and earning her undying gratitude. Meanwhile Martin takes a shine to Jack's pill popping wife Sharon (Beverly D'Angelo) and everything comes to a head on Halloween night.

First off, I think the cast is great. Peter O'Toole brings a sense of Shakesperian tragi-comedy to his role and his dishevelled, drunken appearance fits right in with his crumbling castle. Steve Guttenberg is funny and has some great lines, Jennifer Tilly and Peter Gallagher are cute as a forward young woman and a Priest, and I don't know why everyone picks on Daryl Hannah here.   Sure, her Irish accent isn't great, but aside from that she's perfectly acceptable - not the best, but far from the worst.

The actual standouts though are Beverly D'Angelo and Liam Neeson. She's hilarious and I especially love her scene with Jack (as he wakes up thinking he's dead) and the following phone call to her father. Neeson is somehow both gross and charming as a lascivious ghost and I wish he'd do more comedy.

Overall I'd maybe compare this film to GREMLINS 2 in that it doesn't make much sense, it's deliberately loud and crazy and you're as likely to love it as to hate it. Since I don't really know what Jordan's original script/ideas were and how this differs, I can't really comment but I have read that he believes there is a copy of his vision somewhere...If that is the case, I would love to see it.

RATING: 7 stars out of 10

BONUS: forgot to mention the great cinematography and look of the film, plus creative insults involving dwarfs and penguins so here's an extra 1/2 star

Click here for trailer

[explorecinema-blog]

So there were no surprises there. Disappointed Michael Keaton didn't win. 

Says a lot about how dull and awkward I found Neil Patrick Harris' hosting to be that I fell asleep - even trainwreck Franco & Hathaway kept me awake. 

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As appealing playing a wrestler as he is playing a stripper? So you mean, not appealing at all? 

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I love you Liam Neeson!!! 

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"Magic Meryl Effing Streep" ? Ugh, crawl out from up her ass please. She doesn't always deserve a nomination you know. 

You were awesome once Meryl, but now I don't care. 

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My fingers are crossed for Mr Michael Keaton, Rosamund Pike, Felicity Jones, and Julianne Moore tonight. As usual Sky Movies red carpet was inane and barely showed interviews with anyone. May update as show goes on! 

Dakota Johnson looked pretty on the red carpet!

[explorecinema-blog]

BODY OF EVIDENCE (1993)

Because I haven't had enough kink already, lets talk about the critically panned erotic thriller BODY OF EVIDENCE starring Madonna as a dominatrix/possible murderer.

Willem Dafoe also stars as Frank Dulaney, a married lawyer who takes on her case. As he tries to defend her to a sceptic courtroom he is sucked into her world of BDSM but, as his life falls apart around him, can he ever truly believe in her innocence?

Oh Madonna. Why are you always trying to prove how sexually explicit you can be? The first time you see her she's topless and as the movie plays out she ties Willem Dafoe up with his belt and drops candlewax on him, then gives him a handjob in an elevator followed by coaxing him to eat her out in a parking lot and more...all finally culminating in her taking it up the butt in a not-entirely consensual scene. Like, Jesus Christ, we get it Madonna!

So from the above you can probably guess this film isn't for kids! Unlike Fifty Shades Of Grey, it definitley isn't coy. The story is interesting enough but really, come on, has anyone ever watched this and really been confused about whether or not she killed the old dude?

I prefer this to Basic Instinct because of one shallow reason - I would rather see Willem Dafoe naked than Michael Douglas - but both movies are pretty ridiculous.

RATING: 4 stars out of 10

BONUS: + 1/2 star for Willem Dafoe and his cute glasses.

Click here for trailer

[explorecinema-blog]

In a change of pace, my FIFTY SHADES OF GREY review is a professional one, here's the link:

http://dailybusinessgroup.co.uk/2015/02/dakotas-sparky-performance-dominates-as-movie-puts-book-in-the-shade/

enjoy!

[explorecinema-blog]

WHAT IF (2013)

I swear this movie had a 2014 release in the UK, right? It just premiered in 2013 at some festival, am I wrong? Anyway, no matter...

Wallace (Daniel Radcliffe) is a kind of directionless guy - he dropped out of Med School when his girlfriend cheated on him and is now (in his words) stuck in a dead end job. He meets Chantry (is that even a name?), played by Zoe Kazan, at his friend's party and after some awkwardness involving THE PRINCESS BRIDE, they become friends despite the fact that she's in a serious 5 year relationship and Wallace is quickly in love with her. The WHAT IF? of the title is the question 'What if the love of your life was actually your best friend?' a question posed in many a movie, so not too original. The story is pretty standard and straightforward in terms of plotting, I guessed how it would go just by looking at the poster and was not proven wrong.

That said, it still managed to be a good timepass. There were some funny scenes (the part where he knocked her boyfriend out the window I was cracking up) and the performances are heartfelt I guess - Daniel Radcliffe is adorably awkward. I just don't get much out of this type of 'realistic' banter-y dialogue, I suppose I like my movies to feel like movies and not like you're watching some hipster's Cool Whip conversation. That type of stuff recedes in the second half, but it still lingers on the edges.

Anyway, it's cute and harmless and as such I've nothing much to say about it. If you like Daniel Radcliffe it's worth a watch but don't expect anything above an average romantic comedy. That said, for some reason he really reminded me of Dan from Gossip Girl in this movie so now I'm feeling the need to watch a couple of episodes (Oh Dair, you'll always be endgame for me).

RATING: 5 1/2 stars out of 10

BONUS: + 1/2 star because Daniel Radcliffe is just so cute

COMING SOON: MY FIFTY SHADES OF GREY MOVIE REVIEW!

[explorecinema-blog]

TOMBSTONE (1993)

So, after all that vitriol aimed at DRACULA UNTOLD, I wanted to talk about a movie I have seen recently that I can really compliment and recommend and LOVE. And that movie is TOMBSTONE, one which (again) I had seen as a kid and have now chosen to revisit. To be honest, I didn't remember much about it, I was pretty young the first time and probably not paying attention. But, THIS MOVIE IS AMAZING.

It tells the real life tale of Wyatt Earp (Kurt Russell) a retired peace officer who moves to the growing town of Tombstone with his brothers Virgil (Sam Elliot) and Morgan (Bill Paxton) and their three wives. Once there he intends to settle down and live an ordinary life but he soon meets up with Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer) an old friend and expert gambler & gunslinger. He also discovers that the town is overrun with red sash cowboys ready and spoiling for a fight. Despite his desire to remain neutral, Earp is soon drawn back into a tense and violent battle for justice.

It's hard to summarise this movie, the above only touches a little on what it contains and there's a lot more to it, a LOT more. TOMBSTONE was a critical and commercial hit and rightly so. It is a beautiful movie. Beautiful looking as well, there were so many shots where I was just gaping at the screen, like, I don't even know if I can describe how much I enjoyed the cinematography. Definitley the prettiest western I have ever watched and certainly now in my top 10 best looking movies.

And the cast! My God! Kurt Russell - amazing! Seriously he has this edge mixed with something solid and trustworthy so you know he's the good guy, but he's the good guy who'll put a gun to your head if you get what I mean. It's a quality he has in most of his movies and it is put to excellent use here. And his eyes are so blue! Then There's Paxton and Elliot who are also good and there's Billy Zane in a cameo as an effeminate actor who is possibly the love interest of Jason Priestly's scholarly cowboy and there's Dana Delaney looking pretty and CHARLTON HESTON in a cameo and Michel Biehn being awesome...

But the real star here, 100%, is Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday. I've seen Burt Lancaster's Doc Holliday and I've seen Dennis Quaid's Doc Holliday and others, but Kilmer has them beat by miles. He's pale, sweating, sickly as shit, constantly drawling and he steals all the scenes. ALL THE SCENES. How he didn't get oscar nommed for this, I will never know. Seriously, just watch the 'huckleberry scene' and tell me that he is not perfect. I dare you.

Now the tru fax here are that Kevin Costner was originally going to star as Wyatt Earp but he dropped out because he disliked how the script focused on several characters rather than just his. He later went on to make his own Wyatt Earp movie, which flopped. Sucks to be you, Costner!

It always happens when I review movies I really love that I struggle for things to say. I guess it's easier to criticise than praise, but the only thing you need to know is that TOMBSTONE is a brilliant film and if you haven't seen it you are missing out.

RATING: 10 stars out of 10

BONUS: + 1/2 star for best Val Kilmer performance ever!

Click here for trailer