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@extra-dimensional-engie
Extra-Dimensional Engie RP Blog!
E.D.E. Got stuck in the endless void between time and space when he tried to make a teleporter that *didnât* make bread monsters, and after a while he started using those teleporters to try and escape, he is now Engi-here!
RULES:
NO NSFW content
NO racism, homophobia, or other hate will be tolerated
A second RED Engineer has appeared. From where? Nowhere, it seems. He just sort of...appeared.
"Hey, howdy there, Tex, saw ya 'round 'n' had a quick question for ya," he says, quick-like like this is somehow an urgent query. "Did YOU get clobbered in the head and wake up wit' the ability of multiversal travel, too?"
Definitely not. That seems like a fairly unique experience.
@mostlypracticalengineering // been trying to decide who to throw at this blog for like two days lmao. this seemed like objectively the funniest option
*EDE smiles, and shakes his head* âNaw, it were a teleporter malfunction what caused this for me, ah was tryinâ to make bread not turn into man-eating monsters when teleported anâ it flung me into the multiverse.â
A dull thump and the characteristic tearing sound of dimensional barriers being broken heralded Botanist, decidedly the worse for wear.
Still pushing to his feet, he saw the rift he'd come through knit itself back together, leaving him rather stuck.
"....well, shit," they muttered, still staring at the place where the rift had been.
@the-red-botanist
*EDE looks at the botanist, surprised to see them* âWell, ainât that a surprise! Ah didnât expect to see you in this here dimension. Howâd ya get here?â
Botanist startled slightly, turning to face EDE.
"I'm... not quite sure. Medic wanted to test something on a flytrap of mine and well.. it got out of hand, I suppose, but I wasn't expecting..." He gestured broadly and somewhat vaguely at the space they were in. "Wait, did you say- are we in a different dimension?"
Their brows furrowed as he looked at EDE, either ignoring or not yet noticing the slow trickle of blood from a gash on their shoulder.
*EDE laughs* âWell, where else would ah have been? Did yâall think ah had just run off into the wilderness? Naw, ahâv been stuck here for a while now. But, ah ainât been lonely, cause it turns out this place is a kind of gathering point between dimensions, a bunch of us mercs are here. Ahâv even met a couple versions of me here!
A dull thump and the characteristic tearing sound of dimensional barriers being broken heralded Botanist, decidedly the worse for wear.
Still pushing to his feet, he saw the rift he'd come through knit itself back together, leaving him rather stuck.
"....well, shit," they muttered, still staring at the place where the rift had been.
@the-red-botanist
*EDE looks at the botanist, surprised to see them* âWell, ainât that a surprise! Ah didnât expect to see you in this here dimension. Howâd ya get here?â
âHello there Soldier! Ah hear there are quite a few of you, so I figure Iâd stop by anâ see how yâall were doin. Do you have a swarm of raccoons like ma old Soldier? Them buggers caused a lot of problems for me, so ahâd like ta know if theyâre round here.â
AH!! HELLO ENGIE!! DRIFTING THROUGH THE MULTIVERSE AS A TRANSIENT BEING, I SEE! (YOU BETTER NOT BECOME A HIPPIE BECAUSE OF THIS!)
And YES! I still have MANY raccoon children!
Soldier holds up a fat-looking raccoon, that of which snarls at him.
THIS IS CADET THOMPSON! THEY ARE PROUDLY CARRYING THE NEXT GENERATION OF TROOPS FOR THE ARMY!!
âWell, ainât that a cute little critter! Ah wish you luck with your army, Soldier.â
*EDE scratches Cadet Thompson behind the ears with his gunslinger, and walks away * âAnâ donât worry, ah ainât gonna become a hippie on ya.â
âI TELEPORTED BREAAD!!!â
*Engie sighs, shaking his head*
âSoldier, ah was cominâ over to say hello, and you are doin this? I may be new ta this dimension, but if there is one thing ah know, itâs that bread ainât for teleportinâ. We better dispose of those âfore they start biting.â
soldier immediately turns his head to engineer, his helmet bounces on his head while
âAH HELLO ENGINEER!! I WAS JUST TESTING YOUR TELEPORTERS! I WAS ALSO TOLD I CAN TELEPORT AS MUCH BREAD AS I WANT TO!!! I TELEPORTED A LOF OF BREADâ
soldier laughs to himself a wide grin starts spreading on his face, his mind already wandering back to the thoughts of teleporting more bread
âSonny, ah donât know who told ya that teleportinâ bread is ok, but they told ya a lie. doinâ that turns the bread into a horrible monster, and it ainât one ya wanna tangle with.â
*EDE raises his right hand and pulls off his glove*
âThem things ate my hand more then once! This thing is ma 4th replacement, anâ ah don't wanna hafta built you a new hand. Dispose of that pile immediately, or ahâm findinâ a Pyro and lettinâ âem loose in here.â
soldier raises one of his eyebrows looking at EDE, he looks a bit disappointed, but understands even though he wanted to have more fun teleporting bread
âAH, OKAY I UNDERSTAND, I STILL WANNA TELEPORT BREAD, BUT IF IT MEANS DANGER..I'LL STOP!â
soldier giggles looking at EDE
âI TELEPORTED BREAD!!! he shouts AND THE HAND THINGY IS LOOKING GOOD! MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A REAL STONG MAN!! IT WOULD MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A STRONG MAN TOO!â
soldier keeps shouting just like he usually would..and thinks about the mechanical hand
âI WANNA FIGHT THE BREAD MONSTER AND GET THIS HAND TOO!!â
âTrust me, it ainât fun installinâ this thing, and itâs not gonna work well with a rocket launcher. Those things need extra gippinâ force that this hand just donât have, so youâd be givinâ up the big, American weapon you love so much.â
Hi Engie! How many mercs are there across both teams? REALLY?
*EDE looks around, and then shrugs*
âWell sonny, ah donât rightly know, this place seems to be a mish-mash of several different dimensions, but even then, only some mercy âav appeared, and some more than once! Could well be that they just ainât here yet or they ainât never cominâ, so ah canât even fathom a guess. Sorry ah couldnât be more help to ya, Iâm new to this dimension.
âI TELEPORTED BREAAD!!!â
*Engie sighs, shaking his head*
âSoldier, ah was cominâ over to say hello, and you are doin this? I may be new ta this dimension, but if there is one thing ah know, itâs that bread ainât for teleportinâ. We better dispose of those âfore they start biting.â
soldier immediately turns his head to engineer, his helmet bounces on his head while
âAH HELLO ENGINEER!! I WAS JUST TESTING YOUR TELEPORTERS! I WAS ALSO TOLD I CAN TELEPORT AS MUCH BREAD AS I WANT TO!!! I TELEPORTED A LOF OF BREADâ
soldier laughs to himself a wide grin starts spreading on his face, his mind already wandering back to the thoughts of teleporting more bread
âSonny, ah donât know who told ya that teleportinâ bread is ok, but they told ya a lie. doinâ that turns the bread into a horrible monster, and it ainât one ya wanna tangle with.â
*EDE raises his right hand and pulls off his glove*
âThem things ate my hand more then once! This thing is ma 4th replacement, anâ ah don't wanna hafta built you a new hand. Dispose of that pile immediately, or ahâm findinâ a Pyro and lettinâ âem loose in here.â
Been gettin a fluttery feelin in my chest ever since my last check-up, can somebody make sure dat damn bird's where it should be?
*EDE looks around, concerned*
âYa don't mean Archimedes, do ya? Cause, well, that little critter gets everywhere. Ya canât stop âim. Ahâv found him nestinâ inside my sentry guns before, even ones I havenât even opened up for testinâ yet! Ah can keep an eye out, but you best check in with one of the medics. From what ahâv seen, they get grumpy if their Archimedes is gone too long.â
âI TELEPORTED BREAAD!!!â
*Engie sighs, shaking his head*
âSoldier, ah was cominâ over to say hello, and you are doin this? I may be new ta this dimension, but if there is one thing ah know, itâs that bread ainât for teleportinâ. We better dispose of those âfore they start biting.â
Finally, someone ah recognize! Did ya find yerself floatin in the endless void outside of time and space like me? Ah thought I fixed that darn teleporterâŠ
"ENGIE!"
Scout looks overjoyed to be greeted so warmly by a familiar face, but suddenly falters.
"Wait - are ya MY Engie? Dere's a whole buncha us all runnin round dis place so I ain't sure who's who or what's what."
He shrugs, waving a hand dismissively - all the extra mercs ain't a new thing, they've duplicated themselves for fights so many times kits almost a normal event for him now.
"Ah, dat don't matter - what matters is ya here! Ya ain't dead! Uh but no, no void for me - it was just kinda like when I normally take a teleporter, just a bit longer, and den da ting blew up after it spat me out here! Didn't hurt me, tho. Well, I got a couple cuts and scratches from da shrapnel on my legs but nothin I couldn't walk off. What about you?"
âWell, ah was tryin to make the teleporters not make evil bread, but that caused me ta be stuck in the endless void between time anâ space when ah tested it, so, I might be yours! Sounds like we âad the same problem, so itâs likely.â
*he shrugs, and then smiles*
âHow have you been doin? This place is quite a strange one.â
He chuckles, not entirely convinced this is his Engie - but any Engie is fine in Scout's opinion, so long as they're RED and not a complete psychopath.
"I been alright. Got settled, made some new friends, there's people here from all kindsa timelines. And I got my job back, dats been going good. Slice-a familiarity y'know? Nice to be back with the gang. Hey so you went thru all the stuff wit de Administrator right? Like when we was on dat island wit all the robots and de Classic mercs, you was at headquarters, yeah?"
*Engie frowns, and looks down*
âYeah, that was⊠well, ah guess since sheâs dead now ah can talk about it. That Australium broke her after a while, and keepinâ her on track was rough. Ya did see what she had down there, right? Some things even I don't wanna be party too.â
*he smiles, shaking his head*
âWell, least thatâs over with now. Itâs good that you been doinâ all right here.â
"Miss Pauling said she was gonna drop it in a deep ocean trench. D'ya reckon it's still there even in did reality?"
He doesn't sound malicious or like he's trying to seek it out - more just genuine curiosity.
"I mean. It don't look like dis place ever had it so maybe it ain't there just cos it never existed. But it's also been over fifty years since alla dat went down so maybe things changed and dey just covered it up? People talk a lot about governments covering stuff up here, it's kinda weird."
*Engie shrugs*
âAh recon itâs somewhere in the world, but maybe not where we can find it. Could well be that itâs in the moon or thâ core of the earth. Ah ainât been here long, so ah cant say for certain without checkinâ. Itâs a whole element though, so itâs gotta be somewhere in the universe!â
*he chuckles, shaking his head*
âWell, if ya say other folks are round here, ah best go lookinâ for âem, so Iâll see you around.â
*he tosses a button to Scout*
âPress that if ya need me, or even just wanna talk. Have a good day anâ be careful âround teleporters!â
Finally, someone ah recognize! Did ya find yerself floatin in the endless void outside of time and space like me? Ah thought I fixed that darn teleporterâŠ
"ENGIE!"
Scout looks overjoyed to be greeted so warmly by a familiar face, but suddenly falters.
"Wait - are ya MY Engie? Dere's a whole buncha us all runnin round dis place so I ain't sure who's who or what's what."
He shrugs, waving a hand dismissively - all the extra mercs ain't a new thing, they've duplicated themselves for fights so many times kits almost a normal event for him now.
"Ah, dat don't matter - what matters is ya here! Ya ain't dead! Uh but no, no void for me - it was just kinda like when I normally take a teleporter, just a bit longer, and den da ting blew up after it spat me out here! Didn't hurt me, tho. Well, I got a couple cuts and scratches from da shrapnel on my legs but nothin I couldn't walk off. What about you?"
âWell, ah was tryin to make the teleporters not make evil bread, but that caused me ta be stuck in the endless void between time anâ space when ah tested it, so, I might be yours! Sounds like we âad the same problem, so itâs likely.â
*he shrugs, and then smiles*
âHow have you been doin? This place is quite a strange one.â
He chuckles, not entirely convinced this is his Engie - but any Engie is fine in Scout's opinion, so long as they're RED and not a complete psychopath.
"I been alright. Got settled, made some new friends, there's people here from all kindsa timelines. And I got my job back, dats been going good. Slice-a familiarity y'know? Nice to be back with the gang. Hey so you went thru all the stuff wit de Administrator right? Like when we was on dat island wit all the robots and de Classic mercs, you was at headquarters, yeah?"
*Engie frowns, and looks down*
âYeah, that was⊠well, ah guess since sheâs dead now ah can talk about it. That Australium broke her after a while, and keepinâ her on track was rough. Ya did see what she had down there, right? Some things even I don't wanna be party too.â
*he smiles, shaking his head*
âWell, least thatâs over with now. Itâs good that you been doinâ all right here.â
A sudden burst of static crackled through Engie's comm speaker.
"...-gineer? Are we get- ..through? Engineer, do you copy?"
- @the-red-botanist
âAh, finally! Someone ah know! Glad to know that teleporter incident didnât destroy the world. But⊠well, this place ainât anythinâ like ah know, can you get a fix on me?â
"Destroy -kzhh- world!?" A fainter voice said, somewhat harder to parse.
"We're trying. D-vzht- -ou know what could be causing this interference?" Botanist answered.
âWell, it could well be the fact that ah ainât in the same dimension that ah used to be, but I would have ta run a few tests to be sure. Ah can get back to on that soon.â
Finally, someone ah recognize! Did ya find yerself floatin in the endless void outside of time and space like me? Ah thought I fixed that darn teleporterâŠ
"ENGIE!"
Scout looks overjoyed to be greeted so warmly by a familiar face, but suddenly falters.
"Wait - are ya MY Engie? Dere's a whole buncha us all runnin round dis place so I ain't sure who's who or what's what."
He shrugs, waving a hand dismissively - all the extra mercs ain't a new thing, they've duplicated themselves for fights so many times kits almost a normal event for him now.
"Ah, dat don't matter - what matters is ya here! Ya ain't dead! Uh but no, no void for me - it was just kinda like when I normally take a teleporter, just a bit longer, and den da ting blew up after it spat me out here! Didn't hurt me, tho. Well, I got a couple cuts and scratches from da shrapnel on my legs but nothin I couldn't walk off. What about you?"
âWell, ah was tryin to make the teleporters not make evil bread, but that caused me ta be stuck in the endless void between time anâ space when ah tested it, so, I might be yours! Sounds like we âad the same problem, so itâs likely.â
*he shrugs, and then smiles*
âHow have you been doin? This place is quite a strange one.â
A sudden burst of static crackled through Engie's comm speaker.
"...-gineer? Are we get- ..through? Engineer, do you copy?"
- @the-red-botanist
âAh, finally! Someone ah know! Glad to know that teleporter incident didnât destroy the world. But⊠well, this place ainât anythinâ like ah know, can you get a fix on me?â
âWhat the- Where am I? This place ainât much like home.â
(OOC: tumblr hates sideblogs for some reason, so secondary account time! Now fully functional)
