World’s Cutest Wrestler

IM BETTER THAN NICK GAGE

please-dont-die-joey

He’s going to kill you

Nah Gage can’t read.

IM BETTER THAN NICK GAGE

Your tag shit isn’t gonna mean a damn thing when it’s one on one, and your back will be flat on the mat faster than you can think of an excuse for why you can’t hang with us.

You don’t have to worry about that, you’re not even gonna beat Tessa. What’s Abigail gonna say to you when you fail to make it out of the first round?

Oh, tell her that Syn brought his new girl to the shop the other day. She’s a lot cuter, and she actually showers!

Implying that you’re old, mate. Seems you’re almost as dumb as that airhead of a partner you got.

Cheech May have been hit in the head a few too many times, but he can still wrestle circles around your ass. We’ve had this tag shit on lockdown for years. Abigail goes through more tag partners than she does backstories.

Oi, mate. I’m sure you’re real salty that I’m twenty years younger and I’ve been with more girls that you, but don’t be using that tone with me. If you really think you’re gonna be in the ring with Abigail for even a second, she’ll knock you out in half that time. That’s if, if I don’t do it first.

I hope Bayley chokes you with one of her inflatable tube men, wanker.

You just called yourself a twelve year old. And I’ll be damned if I let that other twelve year old, Bayley, beat me. I’m not getting beaten by the worst member of the four horsewomen.

Imaging thinking that I’m not gonna win BOTH of these tournaments.

It’s gonna be hilarious when you lose both and pretend to be surprised.

Tell PME I said hi, by the way.

What’s gonna be hilarious, is when I pin your new girlfriend to become world champion, and then me and cheech don’t even see y’all in the tag tournament finals because y’all lost to Anarchy.

And PME was a fluke. We beat them 4 or 5 times before they even beat us once. They shouldn’t have even gotten that shot.

Imaging thinking that I’m not gonna win BOTH of these tournaments.

This is an official petition, to get our match against Anarchy canceled.

We’re not scared. We just think it’s unfair that they have to wrestle the greatest tag team on planet earth on such short notice.

Who wants to come inside The Funhouse for a good time?

I promise, I’ll do my best to make sure The Fiend is contained… All you have to do is let him in.

Admitting is the first step, mister Delaney.

Yeah well, I’m comfortable right here

Who wants to come inside The Funhouse for a good time?

I promise, I’ll do my best to make sure The Fiend is contained… All you have to do is let him in.

No such thing as being allergic to clowns.

It’s a rare allergy.

Who wants to come inside The Funhouse for a good time?

I promise, I’ll do my best to make sure The Fiend is contained… All you have to do is let him in.

Your fear entices The Fiend. He’s entertained by it. Almost in a humorous way.

Hey now. Ol’ Colin Delaney ain’t scared of nothin’. I just don’t like clowns. I’m... allergic.

Who wants to come inside The Funhouse for a good time?

I promise, I’ll do my best to make sure The Fiend is contained… All you have to do is let him in.

Now, now! No need for such callous language. The Fiend decides where he pleases to go on his own terms. No chains hold him down.

Yeah... no. Nope. No sir.

Who wants to come inside The Funhouse for a good time?

I promise, I’ll do my best to make sure The Fiend is contained… All you have to do is let him in.

Fear is inevitable. Everyone has something they fear. Those fears make you human. What do you think The Fiend would decide upon your fate? Hurt or heal?

I think the fiend better say way the hell over there.

Who wants to come inside The Funhouse for a good time?

I promise, I’ll do my best to make sure The Fiend is contained… All you have to do is let him in.

Well, that’s just no fun at all!

Hey now, I’m very fun. I own a cereal bar for Christ sakes. I just don’t do clowns. Clowns aren’t fun.

Who wants to come inside The Funhouse for a good time?

I promise, I’ll do my best to make sure The Fiend is contained… All you have to do is let him in.