Wow Yet Another Side Blog

Ramblings and Rants

[exzzzzotica]

The edgiest poem I’ve written yet that will probably have a part 2

And in that moment-

Your kiss tasted like air

The air I’m supposed to breathe

In and out

Your kiss was my oxygen

In and out

Your kiss healed my wounds when my own skin couldn’t

When the cuts on my thighs started to fade it wasn’t because my body naturally built fibrosis tissue wherever a knife had met skin but because a girl met girl and learned what love meant

You told me love meant chain smoking cigarettes behind trees at dusk love meant sweet little nothings

whispered into my ear in the breaths of intimacy and intoxication vodka meets tongue tongue meets tongue your lips meet mine air meets lungs for the first time, you breathe for the first time

In and out

You can teach me all your secrets

Like how to get the smell of alcohol off my clothes and to get the taste of tobacco off my tongue

And I’ll teach you mine

Like putting baindaids on your wrist to replace red slits, and shoving your fingers down your throat to push out all the happiness and warmth you had inside

[exzzzzotica]

Love of three

Can’t be love surely

Love of three over two can’t be proper

3 over 2 has to be a mixed number

2 loves in mutuality

This leaves 1 alone its a sad reality

[writing-masterlists]

Synonyms For Very

This masterlist is a masterlist of words that you may use alongside the word very, very being one of the most common words that are used when writing. I hope this helps you as much as it helps me in our writing seem more sophisticated and unique. 

A:

Very accurate - exact Very afraid - fearful Very angry - furious Very annoying - exasperating

B:

Very bad - atrocious Very beautiful - exquisite Very big - immense Very boring - dull Very bright - luminous Very busy - swamped

C:

Very calm - serene Very careful - cautious Very cheap - stingy Very clean - spotless Very clear - obvious Very clever - intelligent Very cold - freezing Very colourful - vibrant Very competitive - cutthroat Very complete - comprehensive Very confused - perplexed Very conventional - conservative Very creative - innovative Very crowded - bustling Very cute - adorable

D:

Very dangerous - perilous Very dear - cherished Very deep - profound Very depressed - despondent Very detailed - meticulous Very different - disparate Very difficult - arduous Very dirty - filthy Very dry - arid Very dull - tedious

E:

Very eager - keen Very easy - effortless Very empty - desolate Very excited - thrilled Very exciting - exhilarating Very expensive - costly

F:

Very fancy - lavish Very fast - swift Very fat - obese Very friendly - amiable Very frightened - alarmed Very frightening - terrifying Very funny - hilarious

G:

Very glad - overjoyed Very good - excellent Very great - terrific

H:

Very happy - ecstatic Very hard - difficult Very hard-to-find - rare Very heavy - leaden Very high - soaring Very hot - sweltering Very huge - colossal Very hungry - ravenous Very hurt - battered

I:

Very important - crucial Very intelligent - brilliant Very interesting - captivating

J:

K:

L:

Very large - huge Very lazy - indolent Very little - tiny Very lively - vivacious Very long - extensive Very long-term - enduring Very loose - slack Very loud - thunderous Very loved - adored

M:

Very mean - cruel Very messy - slovenly

N:

Very neat - immaculate Very necessary - essential Very nervous - apprehensive Very nice - kind Very noisy - deafening

O:

Very often - frequently Very old - ancient Very old-fashioned - archaic Very open - transparent

P:

Very painful - excruciating Very pale - ashen Very perfect - flawless Very poor - destitute Very powerful - compelling Very pretty - beautiful

Q:

Very quick - rapid Very quiet - hushed

R:

Very rainy - pouring Very rich - wealthy

S:

Very sad - sorrowful Very scared - petrified Very scary - chilling Very serious - grave Very sharp - keen Very shiny - gleaming Very short - brief Very shy - timid Very simple - basic Very skinny - skeletal Very slow - sluggish Very small - petite Very smart - intelligent Very smelly - pungent Very smooth - sleek Very soft - downy Very sorry - apologetic Very special - exceptional Very strong - forceful Very stupid - idiotic Very sure - certain Very sweet - thoughtful

T:

Very talented - gifted Very tall - towering Very tasty - delicious Very thirsty - parched Very tight - constricting Very tiny - minuscule Very tired - exhausted

U:

Very ugly - hideous Very unhappy - miserable Very upset - distraught

V:

W:

Very warm - hot Very weak - frail Very well-to-do - wealthy Very wet - soaked Very wide - expansive Very willing - eager Very windy - blustery Very wise - sage Very worried - distressed

X:

Y:

Z:

A/N: If you know of anymore words I can add please message me.

[kinkybden]

!!!

[thatglutenfreemuffin-blog]

Reblog to save a writer

[exzzzzotica]

Winter

Sweat clings to my back under a itchy mass of wool and thread

Everytime I shift in my seat I hear creak and there’s a feeling, it’s one I dread

My tights are too tight and my rigid nails clinging to my claustrophobic thighs

This seat is too small this room is too hot the room is too small they are all staring I can’t feel my face I think I’m going to die

I don’t want to die but I can’t push or pull or wiggle my way out they are holding me down I can’t breathe I’m going to suffocate

The man next to me is too close oh god what if he touches me my god what if he touches me

I can’t breathe I’m sweating this room is too small to hold my fat overbearing body I’m swelling up I’m going to explode I need to flee

[exzzzzotica]

If you think I’m not hurting you are wrong

I long for you

A closeness I’m yet to experience

You’re talking about her I know it

I miss you

I want to tell you how much I want to kiss you

But I’m part of your past now

I miss you

Just being friends would be good

But you don’t even want that

Why won’t you talk to me

I love you so fucking much

Life isn’t moving fast enough

I just want to get past this

I don’t like being hurt by you

I will find some other control in my life

If that means starving myself

Exercising until I feel myself falling over

I’ll deprive myself of sleep

Of pleasure

I want to feel anything besides what you make me feel

[exzzzzotica]

I don’t feel beautiful

It’s not beautiful It’s not rose tinted cheeks and cold tears leaking from ice blue eyes it’s green and brown stains on my shirt and bloody red slits on my cellulite thighs It’s counting how many calories are in the mint I’m sucking on because when my lunch came up it didn’t smell like roses It’s yellowed teeth and snotty and bloody noses it’s awkward silences in the car with your mom because she ripped the bandaids off my wrists Its your girlfriend staring at your uncovered thighs with tears in her eyes and clenched fists The thighs she used to cherish and kiss “It’s not your fault” The way she looked at me made me feel so small “Why?” Why why why why why why why why The word repeats in my head my heads in my hands my eyes are sealed shut she said “I thought you were tough” Why I feel her weight shift off the bed And I’ll think of all the things I should’ve said But she’s gone by the time my eyes open and words leave my mouth It’s been 10 months and I’ve heard she’s moving south

[exzzzzotica]

I feel so alone

I’m scared you’ll leave me

but I push you away

I hate that I can’t tell you anything

I can but I won’t

Why? I don’t know

I like you

you don’t like you

Or me

But you like the validation I give you

And that’s the best I can get right now

I wish my life were simpler

I can’t tell you that

I can but I won’t

please don’t just say “ok” it just hurts

It’s too simple

Maybe I don’t like simple

Why do you apologize so much

it makes the anxiety curl in my stomach

I can’t tell you that I can but I won’t

I think I love you Or do I just love that you don’t

I want to tell you more But that makes me feel like a whore

So I’ll just listen I have to I don’t but I will

I feel so alone I’m doing this to myself I can’t stop I can but I won’t

I don’t know my friends lives One by one they left because I wouldn’t do the things that I could

And I couldn’t stop them

I could’ve but I didn’t

[exzzzzotica]

And I wrote your name with my left hand because my right hand couldn't bare to hold your existence again And I looked at you under close eyelids because what I couldn't see wouldn't hurt And you gave her the same flowers you gave me the ones you said were only for me But the thorns were sharper than the last time they cut my lips and just like me she held her cries in because you said that "it was a sign of love" and God did I long for love and if love meant blood I would bleed everyday for you, I'd make a painting of my love, my blood, just for you. And you would make a painting of me but never finish it, for you felt you couldn't grasp all of it Or more over you had made so many other paintings that they had lost all meaning and now just a sheet of paper with smudged red paint on it.

[exzzzzotica]

I'll let you inside my head I'll let you make me wish I was dead I'll let you infect me with any disease I'll let you do whatever you want just please please please Don't leave me And if I feel you start to go and trust me I'll know I'll let it take over my body I won't sleep I won't eat just because I believe my worth is determined by whether you answer my 66 text messages or not you'll ignore me without a thought but it's okay, because in the next day You will tell me you love me tell me you've been busy and I'll forget the whole thing And I'll believe you and fall harder in love with you give you everything and pretend it doesn't sting that I'll do this all but you don't even think I'm worth a phone call

[exzzzzotica]

ABC

I don't see letters, nor words but shapes Melting and molding into what I make Write what you will but that's not what I'll see All I'll see is how I think you hate me but you don't hate me You proclaim But that isn't the same I want to see fiery burning passion and love Something all little girls dream of I don't think I'm a little girl anymore But every time I open my mouth words come out but the words they don't sound right they sound like a child it's not like you each word filled with passion and opinion I could see them slipping off your tongue like exotic delicacies only I could taste Your words, they come out and I'm filled with this feeling of importance you make me feel important I don't feel small, until I speak again... I stumble I trip there's stammer and that's it I'm the fool again

[exzzzzotica]

Blooming Bulimia

Shaking over the bathroom sink You look green blue and yellow but you feel pink You feel empty you feel hallow But it'll be gone after every bit of food you swallow This weekend you'll be thinner You just have to skip dinner.

[exzzzzotica]

I Want To Be Part Of You

I want to be part of your world I want to see what you see I want to see those shiny twinkling stars in the black silky skies I want to see large green fields full of flowers and butterflies I want to be important to you I want you to see what I see I want you to see black silky hair and twinkling green eyes I want you to see a toothy grin that releases a cage of butterflies I want to feel valued by you I want you to feel what I feel I want you to stare at alabaster arms with freckle constellations praying one day he’ll notice Your eyes, your hair, your smile that only seems to be there when he’s there.