18+ BLOG! She/Her, 28 y.o. pansexual.
Pantalone and Mortelix are my life. I ship Dottalone until I die.
Main interests- fat/WG art, Genshin, Epic 7, Fire Emblem + some others UwU
Welcome to my blog! I'm eyesludge, She/Her, 28 y.o. pansexual. Expect a lot of shipping, mainly Dottolone, Zhongchi, Twobuki, Twobukan, Mitwomiki, MortxSenya, and more~ My favourite series are Genshin Impact, Danganronpa, Epic Seven, Fire Emblem, and Pokémon.
♡ 𖦹 THE IMPORTANT STUFF! 𖦹 ♡
This is an 18+ blog where I post and share Naughty Things™. ALSO> While my blog is a mix of many things I like, be aware I do post weight gain / fat kink content! If you want to follow me for some things but do NOT want to see this fetish content, please block the tag #fat kink before following. All my fetish posts will feature this tag so you should be able to browse my other stuff safely then! I will also sometimes draw injury/blood detail and these will be tagged with #cw blood or #cw injury
♡ 𖦹 my tags 𖦹 ♡
#ask sludge - When I answer an ask/question.
#sludgey fic - When I post about my fanfiction.
#sludgey art - When I post my art.
#[character name here] thoughts - Headcanons, ideas, imaginings about a particular character, for instance #pantalone thoughts
#[character name here] reference - Official screenshots/models saved so I can reference them in my drawing.
#sludge bought an art - When I reblog a commission I bought.
#not my art - This one is obvious ;3 When I reblog other artists' work.
#fat kink - As mentioned above, I'll use this on all fetish content so you can block if needed!
#◇fatui feofan◇ and #◇fatui marin◇ - My OCs! And yes, I made a Fatui OC called Feofan... Guess what noise I made when Pantalone's true name dropped?...
So Pan's theme got an official release and it's called What Gold Cannot Touch.
I lovelovelove this name so much. I am sure there will be people coming out with cool ideas on it soon! ^^ For me the first thing I think of though, is Pantalone's ambition/conviction.
Ultimately Pantalone doesn't actually care about mora in the way a banker or businessman should. He isn't hoarding money for the goal of being rich imo, and he doesn't even view its value the way you would expect. Mora is fundamentally another symbol of the divine shackles put on humans. Something given to them that they believe they can control but never really will. Morax's blood turned into something believed to be inherently valuable and always utterly tied to Him as well.
What Pantalone cares about is the authority and the control money represents. And the ability to impress your interpretation of "value" onto the world. Those who fight and work and outsmart should be the ones who get the power money brings, all the way up to the ultimate power, the one who owns the currency at the top. Hence why he wants to overturn mora and create a new currency for humans.
So I think the title means, that while people may look at Regrator and see a purely greedy, mora-hungry capitalist, all of his "gold" has not actually touched his soul, his inner ambitions, his truth. Its part of the game. It is the current blood of the world that he needs to manipulate before he can truly replace it. His existence is drenched in gold but it will never taint or tempt or 'touch' the deep inner hatred that motives him to burn that very gold down.
HOLY SHIT it gets so much better??? What do you MEAN they named his whole theme song after him being unable to bring his dead husband back ToT absolute CINEMA
So Pan's theme got an official release and it's called What Gold Cannot Touch.
I lovelovelove this name so much. I am sure there will be people coming out with cool ideas on it soon! ^^ For me the first thing I think of though, is Pantalone's ambition/conviction.
Ultimately Pantalone doesn't actually care about mora in the way a banker or businessman should. He isn't hoarding money for the goal of being rich imo, and he doesn't even view its value the way you would expect. Mora is fundamentally another symbol of the divine shackles put on humans. Something given to them that they believe they can control but never really will. Morax's blood turned into something believed to be inherently valuable and always utterly tied to Him as well.
What Pantalone cares about is the authority and the control money represents. And the ability to impress your interpretation of "value" onto the world. Those who fight and work and outsmart should be the ones who get the power money brings, all the way up to the ultimate power, the one who owns the currency at the top. Hence why he wants to overturn mora and create a new currency for humans.
So I think the title means, that while people may look at Regrator and see a purely greedy, mora-hungry capitalist, all of his "gold" has not actually touched his soul, his inner ambitions, his truth. Its part of the game. It is the current blood of the world that he needs to manipulate before he can truly replace it. His existence is drenched in gold but it will never taint or tempt or 'touch' the deep inner hatred that motives him to burn that very gold down.
Part IV of the Dottore Ramblings (Part I, Part II, Part III)
So, @silvysartfulness and I were screaming about Dottore, as one does when Hoyo drops an OST that perfectly supports our complementary theories about Dottore's Mahayana philosophy and connection to alchemical enlightenment.
Because wow. Hoyo really has cast Dottore as a savior who transcends death in pursuit of the liberatory truths of the world. Which leads me to the conviction that Dottore didn't lose in 6.6 at all.
Dance Now, Dance for Me
Silvy pointed out that there are lyrics to the Exalted Master of the Heretical Path's Phase 2 theme, Advaita of the Perpetual World:
If they do not call me a Heretic, how can they be deemed righteous? All the world's an illusion, only I am the truth. Come all, dance for me, dance until the absolute reality appears before me.
By this point, Dottore has merged with Irminsul in the Binding Field of Universal Nirvana. Enlightened, he sees the world for what it truly is, a world where:
There is no inherent structure to life’s flow—order was merely imposed upon it. Strip away every shackle laid across this world, and the essence of all things will at last come into view. (Boss Description)
But it's the last lyric that has me in a chokehold because where did we see those words about the dance before? Oh right, the description of The Lovers' Lunar Arcanum, a card riddled with alchemical allusions and decorated with images of seven red-eyed crows.
The card's description goes:
The path to understanding and beauty,
Love, or the smelting and separation that signify it
Dance now, dance,
O "Lover" mine alone,
My inseparable "other half,"
For every joy-filled yesterday we once shared,
For every tomorrow we once longed for but will never see.
Dance now, dance,
Dance through the wind and snow, through the trials and our final secret wedding,
Even "death" cannot part us.
When we defeat Dottore as The Exalted Master of the Heretical Path, his defeated line is:
"The new world... that I've longed for..."
So, what if they're the same dance? The dance of reality. The dance of transformation. The dance of freedom once Fate's shackles have been burned away. This is a dance that can only take place through "the final secret wedding," which, as we know from both the Narzissenkreuz Fontaine World Quest and the 6.6 AQ, is a metaphor for alchemical enlightenment. A metaphor for the truth of the world.
And the Phase 2 boss lyrics are explicitly calling back to it.
(I wrote about the lovers in a previous essay if you're interested)
Deathless Death, Non-Duality, and Transcendence
Dottore died in Nod-Krai under the newly restored moon, but that evidently wasn't enough to grant him access to the truth of the world or else it wouldn't have taken three patches to start and Pantalone could have stayed home smoking in peace.
No, the last piece of Dottore's soul had to die a deathless death first.
In alchemy, the Tria Prima are the three foundational principles that lie at the heart of all material, spiritual, and philosophical transformation. All three primes need to be present for enlightenment. These are:
Salt, corresponding to the body, the physical realm, water & earth, the solid aspects of matter, and the id of the psyche. This is the last physical vestige of Dottore, who died the night the moon descended
Mercury, corresponding to the mind, the mental realm, air, the volatile aspects of matter, and the ego of the psyche. These are the various (and decidedly volatile) pieces of Zandik's mind, preserved at different ages in his life. All but one of them was vaporized three years ago in 3.2, and the last one to die, 35, displays the most ego of them all (Pantalone even comments on "the magnitude of [his] ego")
Sulfur, corresponding to the soul, the spiritual realm, fire, the flammable aspects of matter, and the superego of the psyche. This is Dottore's ambition, his purpose, his long-term goals not only for himself but for the whole, enlightened world.
I made a lil table in case that makes it easier to visualize all this:
According to Freud (boo, but stick with me here), the superego is driven by the reality principle, which is the ability to assess the external world and act upon it in service of long-term goals rather than instant gratification. In psychoanalysis, the superego acts as a "moral compass" of sorts, negotiating between individual desire and the limitations of the real world. The reality principle refers to the ability to tolerate frustration, evaluate risk, and withstand temporary hardship in service of ambition. Or:
The true seeker of knowledge is the villain who undergoes countless tribulations in pursuit of their goal.
While the idea of a moral compass might seem incompatible with the notion of the mad scientist who conducts dubious experiments, we also have to keep in mind that Dottore's understanding of the world is one in which suffering has already been pre-imposed by the strictures of Fate. When speaking to the Traveler in 6.3, he alludes to the truth of the world with a veiled thought experiment:
Answer me this: If someone existed in a sweet dream from the moment they were born, a dream in which they never once felt pain, which do you think they would consider superior? The dream, or reality?
Translation: the world is trapped in an endless cycle of death and rebirth where people have no agency. Will you help me save it?
Cue the immeasurable, day-ruining disappointment when the one person who can most easily break the cycle still doesn't get it.
As I suspected. You have yet to understand all of this for what it really is.
Translation: Ah well. If you want something done right...
Incidentally, this exchange comes after Dottore's musing on morality, and I don't think it's unreasonable to view a lot of this scene as Dottore's commentary (of the self-justifying flavour) on the fact that morality is relative to reality
Hmm. I wonder, is it your moral standards that are too high? Or your expectations of reality?
The lyrics of the Phase 2 boss theme reaffirms Dottore's beliefs in case we missed them the first time. "All the world’s an illusion, only I am the truth." Or, as Silvy's translation puts it:
Both the perceiver and the perceived are illusory; only the non-duality of self is the supreme truth.
All the alchemy, the Mahayana philosophy, and Dottore's actual in-game actions lead to non-duality, the unification of fragmented pieces of the self but also the unification of the self and the world...
... like, you know, when Pantalone uploaded Dottore's Data so he could merge with Irminsul.
This final piece of the puzzle is "death" as a dissolution of the self within the soon-to-be burning crucible of Irminsul. It's the "smelting and separation" of the Lovers' Lunar Arcanum, which makes up the first two of the seven steps of alchemical transmutation. Equally, it's the burning and dissolution of Dottore's desperation for freedom (for himself and the world), which Silvy describes when analyzing the song title Discernment Of Mumukshutva.
I would go so far as to suggest that alchemy is the method by which Dottore manifests his philosophy.
So, to take these ideas of non-duality further, perhaps the inseparable "other half" of the Lover's refers not to two people but to the variously competing parts of the self (and the world) that need to be unified to achieve enlightenment.
After all, the description of the Crucible of Causality tells us clearly that Dottore is about to hear the verdict of his own soul in the place where the brokenness of humanity converges. Perhaps this is the final test of suffering that allow him to liberate the world from the shackles of fate.
Task Failed Successfully
The climax of the 6.6 AQ makes it seem like Dottore loses. I don't think he does. I think it was actually a spectacular success.
At the end of Lohen's Witch's Homework, Nicole says:
Do you remember dealing with Dottore and the poison left behind by Ursa in Mondstadt? I'm told that Lohen also endured his fair share of suffering around that time.
It seems that humanity's fate is destined to become ever more unpredictable… The guidance of angels is no longer the only thing leading them toward the future.
But all those infinite possibilities… Perhaps that is precisely where humanity's true strength lies?
Of course, it makes sense for Nicole to mention Dottore in the context of Ursa. But I also think there's something in the way she pointedly says Dottore, rather than "one of the Doctor's Segments" which is how he was emphatically referenced throughout Lohen's story quest.
We're meant to have Dottore in mind as we read what comes next: infinite possibilities. Why does humanity have infinite possibilities only now? Because Dottore broke the shackles of Fate.
Yes, Nahida and the Traveler were the ones who struck the match, but it was at Dottore's behest. He left them no choice; they had to play that chess piece. It was, to extend the chess metaphor, their only legal move on the board. Dottore was disappointed that the Traveler wouldn't aid him of their own volition, so he did the next best thing: he made them dance to his tune.
The Shades would only approve these countermeasures with a great enough threat. And we know that Dottore is very comfortable in the role of the villain.
Plus, it wouldn't be the first time he puppeteered someone's strings.
In Columbina: To Where She Flies, the character trailer cuts from the strings of the piano Dottore is playing to the strings around Columbina. And, at the end of the song, once she's theoretically been liberated by the Traveler, we get another, equivalent cut: an overhead view of Dottore playing the piano becomes Columbina, still bound by his strings, dancing with a glitching bird. Dancing for and with him. Helping him pursue his ambition by killing his body so it can reunite with his soul and spirit in the crucible of Irminsul.
Still the single best piece of visual storytelling in Genshin's history.
The Show Must Go On
In the description of the Exalted Master of the Heretical Path, Dottore once again blends esoteric alchemical principles with Mahayana philosophy through the liberatory force of possibility:
Yet the weak, seeking to escape the crushing weight of freedom, would rather bow before the throne of "Certainty."
Only those with the resolve to pierce the veil of mundane perception may earn the right to forge a "new world."
That is the domain of "Possibility" — a perpetual and magnificent experiment that shall never reach its end.
It's time to enliven this stagnant, unchanging reality...
Enlightenment requires resolve. It takes suffering. One has to burn, be dissolved, undergo the torments (of the seven steps of alchemy) to transcend limitations and forge a new enlightened path. Dottore resents those who wish to remain ignorant in the "rotten, decaying world" where pain and suffering are the only constants.
So dance, Dottore says. Dance for me. Dance until you manifest reality. Until you see the truth. Until you end this pointless suffering.
Dance until you save the world.
The Meta of it All
One of my favourite things about Dottore is the way he rewards you for digging into the mysteries of the world alongside him. A surface-level reading of his character casts him as an irredeemable villain, but both he and Hoyo themselves have told us that this is an act, a role, a part he's playing on the stage of his grand ambition.
Dottore constantly entreats the Traveler—and us by association—to look deeper, to ask questions, to adopt different perspectives and arrive at the truth of the world.
The same goes for his character. Again, the individual and the world are not separate from one another.
When we look beyond what the other characters say about Dottore, we come to better understand his perspective, his philosophy, and his methods. This isn't to say he hasn't conducted experiments of dubious morality or that he's a virtuous saviour who nobly cured Eleazar and elevated Columbina to godhood without committing several atrocities in the process. Rather, it's to advocate for the importance of nuance, the urgency of looking beyond the duality of good and evil. Good and evil are, after all, the stuff of stories, not the stuff of Truth.
This is powerful meta-storytelling where Dottore becomes more rewarding the more you pick up the crumbs Hoyo has left, from the 3-4-7 references to the various allusions to Mahayana philosophy.
And I think it's remarkable that the moment we as players and lore enjoyers wonder if maybe we've slipped into delusion ourselves, Hoyo releases a set of song titles and lyrics that confirm we're on the right track, one step closer to unravelling the truth of Teyvat.
She finally got them to play in the sea with her, and as soon as they got splashed the disguise just breaks and they are having the absolute best time of their life.
(Bonus points, Imposter's makeup washes off and Ibuki starts believing the sea is magical)
I'm gonna talk again about Dottore and Pantalone giving sympathy to each other. (You know why.)
These sweet catty divas absolutely torment each other by using the puppy dog eyes to try and manipulate each other. Obviously Dottore is giggling and twiddling his hair if he needs a budget increase. And Pantalone does fake obvious "siiiiiigh..." and sad looks into the distance when he needs Dottore to take care of an investigator who digs too deep into his finances.
To which the other invariably snorts and says "fuck off".
But if shit gets real and one of them is genuinely feeling crushed, they of course try to hide it. You don't show weakness when you're fight fate or some shit. Despite their best efforts though, the other always knows. After so many years together they can read the tells like a book. Tiny gives only they would notice.
There is no bickering, no judgement. Perhaps a little tease, "Well, who knew you had a heart after all?" That's all. All their focus funnels into helping soothe the other. Uncharacteristic cuddling. Calm silence as they listen. Little treats like bringing them a snack or preparing an extra fancy bath that evening. Holding them especially close in bed.
They are emotionally stunted assholes who are awful showing their feelings and processing their emotions. But they also know innately how deep the pain runs. And when it becomes too much they will do anything to soothe that pain. Because all they know is that
Every Fatui scout had to admit that Zandik’s late-night ‘concerts’ with him playing the piano and Pantalone playing the violin were irritating.
However, it was far worse to hear just the violin at 3 o’clock in the morning, wailing sadly through the palace. There was no other instrument to join in with the melody. There was no other person who could play. There was no longer any dialogue between the instruments. Just the lonely, melancholic wail of the violin. Every note was drawn out, as if the violinist himself were trying to express his despair, or perhaps he simply had no strength left… Dottore’s absence could be heard in every note, in every bar where his instrument was meant to sound.
Yet no one ever dared to interrupt him, as if everyone understood how hard it was to wait for a pianist who would never turn up.
Yawn tired but uuuum i just wanted to say I am sorry I havent drawn much lately. It is very hot, last exams, and when I make a sketch I feel unhappy with it. I hope to do more soon sorry~
I posted this in response to a reddit thread earlier and wanna drop it here because 1 Pantalone diary and 2 interested in hearing others takes <3
So do we think Pantalone would be good with kids?
I do agree with everyone saying it seems unlikely but... I really think that while he is not "good with kids", he actually has a lot of affection for them. I think that as with other things in his life, it is a aspect that has been buried over centuries by cold ambition and drive. I'm talking about things like the hints that Pantalone was disturbed by Zandik's dissection but we see him deny it modern day.
I think that he would internalise his bad past and naturally desire to see kids healthy and safe like he never had. But... that doesn't help his goals. It doesn't make efficient use of money. Maybe he can make charitable donations to orphanages etc to keep Northland's public face good but nothing more. Definitely not stop experiments on kids, to him that is all part of the greater good of fulfilling his ambitions. But inside I think it would gnaw horribly at him.
I know this is a very obvious talking point but idk, just wanna put it out there because it tickles my brain.
Before we learned Pantalone was Snezhnayan, it felt like him being Liyuean filled in his motivations just perfectly. And the biggest piece of the puzzle was Morax. Pantalone lives under the god money is made from and he suffers extreme poverty. People worship their beloved archon and yet his prayers are never answered. Who wouldn't hate the divine after that experience?
But now we know that the archon he grew up under was the Tsaritsa. Obviously it is perfectly reasonable to say that Pantalone could still develop hatred for the other archons as he observed their flaws too but.... I just can't get over him now serving under the archon who was directly overseeing his homeland while he was a starving poverty-stricken youth. I mean, obviously the Harbingers are showing lately just how much these hoes ain't loyal and I have no doubt Pantalone is using the Fatui/Tsaritsa as an ends to a means EVEN if he had been Liyuean, and likely only got there because it meant he could keep scheming with Zandik but.
My brain worms just really want to know how he feels about her. And like, while I know I tend to really amplify the idea of him being a hateful spite-filled on the edge man, canon does point to others noticing as well that he is full of resentment and anger right. So like. Where is the Tsaritsa on this scale. Is she nemesis number one, like we used to depict Morax being for a Liyuean Pantalone? Or is she lower on the tiers
One of my favourite things about Dottolone is how darn gentlemanly they are. Dottore literally asks what title a lady wishes - such a gentleman, knows that assuming a "miss/Mrs" is some patriarchal bullshit. Never asks for your age despite apparently naming his own clones after their age, pure chivalry. Meanwhile Pantalone is ripped out a period drama. Sips tea looking like he's ready for a photoshoot. Always pays for his husband's needs despite being obsessed with money. Asks for your preferred name. Basically a prince.
I'll be honest with you, I wanted to add at the end pantalone waking up alone in his bed but... I want them to have their happy ending 😭 XD so... after this Zandik will get his wedding ring back, which had been carefully guarded by Feofan. ( sorry if my english is bad xD)
