honest.

patience, test my patience; if I made it too hard for you maybe you should've changed it. say it, you should say it, 'cause I'd say I was wrong just to make it fill all the spaces. waiting, always waiting; if I gave you control would you say that (we could've saved it?). I hope you find a way to be yourself someday, in weakness or in strength, change can be amazing. so I pray for the best, I pray for the best for you. I wish you could be honest, I wish you could be honest with me, with me; I wish you could be honest, I wish you could be honest with me, with me.

[ezraackerman]

hazelstjames​:

where: sweet little things with: @ezraackerman​

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

                                                After a meeting at the city hall, Hazel texted Ezra for a little snack. It felt weird to call Ezra a cousin, because their similar age meant they bonded far more than that. At first it was strange for Hazel, after only knowing a twin bond with her brother to then becoming an older sister in a way. She liked to think they all pulled through together, and were not worse than they were when the changes in their lives all happened. “I think after this I’m going to get under a blanket and pretend I’m cocooning for a while. The freakin’ meeting sucked, Ez. Sometimes it feels like we’re talking to a wall when it comes to climate change.” she sighed, plucking some of the vegan pastry for a bite. She tried to not let no news mean bad news, but it wasn’t good news either. “Just because people don’t see it right in their faces, they think it’s not there even though ice caps melting is no big deal. Tell that to the polar bears.”

when it came to the st. james-ackerman crew, ezra felt like she didn’t really fit. she was the one that sat in the corner with her laptop, making up silly little stories about fictional people falling in love. but if there’s one person in her family that doesn’t make her feel like a total outsider, it’s hazel. they’re the close in age and close in personality, and on her worst days ezra knows she can seek her cousin out, and that the feeling is mutual. her schedule is less packed than hazel’s, she sure, so when she received that text asking about a snack, it was a no-brainer that she dropped everything to meet her. always the good listener, she sat quietly with her eyebrows in a scowl, head cocking to the side as if she were some sort of therapist taking it all in. “you’re making me glad that i don’t have to attend meetings very often,” she muttered, fingers picking idly at the pastry on her plate. “but i’ll tell you something right now: if i could adopt a polar bear, i would.”

[ezraackerman]

frankie-ackerman​:

who: @ezraackerman​ where: little goat diner

                                       “You remember the youngest Anderson kid? He’s the one that owns this place now. I dropped some basil and oregano I had leftover earlier.” Frankie waved a hand in the hair while she studied the menu. It was a standing date for her and her baby sister to have dinner at least bi-weekly. The day was never consistent but they both tried their best to make it happen. Even when Frankie was in college. It had only been an hour and a half away. Weather was the only thing that could stop her from making it back. Mountains were a bitch and a half to drive through in the winter. “Anyways I told him I’d bring more, but he had to start coming up with more creative vegan options for those of us who still gave a fuck about the planet.” Which she searched to find out if he’d gone beyond the garden salad that was the only option previously. She appreciated the farm to fresh aspect of Little Goat, always had but a girl needed to eat more than just a couple vegetables. “What are you havin’, kid?” 

while little goat diner may not have been the fanciest place in the world, ezra always looked forward to those bi-weekly dinners with frankie. the girls hadn’t had much opportunity to bond growing up, their significant age difference making it so they just missed each other around every corner. but frankie was still one of ezra’s favorite people, and the moment she began speaking, the blonde was sucked in. “i’m surprised they don’t have more options considering how progressive the world is getting. i haven’t gone full vegan yet, but i came face-to-face with a cow last week and it nearly brought me to my knees.” ezra wrinkled her nose at frankie, and expression she’s been flashing her sister since she was little. her eyes moved back down to the menu, clearly still contemplating exactly what she wanted for dinner, though if she were being honest with herself, she was simply in a french fry mood. “i dunno what i want just yet. what’re you getting so i have some sort of guidance? you know me, always indecisive when it comes to food.”

[ezraackerman]

ecrinavci​:

open starter, ambrosia coffee co (0/4)

Ecrin’s eyes study the coffee shop, it getting far busier than when he last glanced up from his laptop. He can see a stray person, struggling to find a place to seat themselves and already he knows what is about to happen. He prepares himself as they near, taking in a breath and saying an internal goodbye for any work that he might have completed. His table is the only one with the free seat, so when his eyes meet the wanderer his hand gestures in front of him. “Please.” he says kindly, despite the Avci dislike of strangers roaring through his veins. “Standing up and drinking coffee would never be an enjoyable experience.” he smiles knowing it’s the least he can do. It’s his good deed done for the week or…year. “This place gets popular, I suppose. There were only three people when I arrived. I thought I had a cozy day ahead of me.”

as a writer, ezra spends most of her free time in coffee shops. it’s her job to observe other people, to pick up on the mannerisms of her fellow humans and then translate those mannerisms into words. but she was held back from doing that when the shop was as busy as ambrosia was currently. there’s a coffee in her hand and a bag slung across her shoulder containing her laptop and a notebook full of story ideas, but she can’t find a spot to settle into. the blonde is just about to give up when someone is nice enough to capture her attention, and while she’s normally not one to sit with other people for fear of having to answer too many questions --- most of which make her stutter while she’s trying to answer them --- ezra is more than willing to break her own rules today. “thank you,” she mutters, fingers grabbing the back of the chair as she set her bag on the floor. “i don’t think this place has known a day of peace since it opened.”

[ezraackerman]

location: ambrosia coffee co.

closed starter for: @lucky-williams​

ezra has travelled from table to table to see if any of them are available, but it seems that the more she looks, the less likely she is to get her wish. her laptop is hugged tightly to her chest, shoes scuffling along the floor while she looked for a place to perch. she wasn’t the type to try and sit with a stranger, never keen on making small talk or even introducing herself to others for fear of becoming too familiar. for someone who’s had her name published on books and sent out into the world, she sure is hesitant when it comes to meeting new people. but at this point she’s desperate, and as her feet carried her to a small table in the corner where there’s a lone guy seemingly distracted by his own work, she had to give herself somewhat of a pep talk. for a moment she just stood there, knuckles going white as she gripped her computer, and weight shifting from one foot to the other. but then she cleared her throat to try and get his attention, flashing what she thinks is a friendly smile, but it looks more like a sad grimace. “do you mind if i sit here?” she finally mutters, gesturing towards the empty chair across from him. “this place is packed and this corner looks to be the most inviting.”

[maysileedonners]

Madison Iseman via Instagram (January 5th, 2023).

[ezraackerman]

TAG DROP!

ezra ackerman: visuals

ezra ackerman: intro

ezra ackerman: musings

ezra ackerman: inspiration

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[bearicons]

[phntmgifs]

MADISON ISEMAN  @madisoniseman  via instagram !

[angiemcalisters]

[ezraackerman]

When you were lonely, you needed a man Someone to lean on, well I understand It's only natural But why did it have to be me?

Nights can be empty and nights can be cold So you were looking for someone to hold That's only natural But why did it have to be me?

I was so lonesome, I was blue I couldn't help it, it had to be you and I Always thought you knew the reason why I only wanted a little love affair Now I can see you are beginning to care But baby, believe me It's better to forget me

Men are the toys in the game that you play When you get tired, you throw them away That's only natural But why did it have to be me?

Falling in love with a woman like you Happens so quickly, there's nothing to do It's only natural Why did it have to be me?

[ezraackerman]

Golden, golden, golden As I open my eyes Hold it, focus, hoping Take me back to the light I know you were way too bright for me I'm hopeless, broken So you wait for me in the sky Browns my skin just right

You're so golden You're so golden I'm out of my head And I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken

I don't wanna be alone I don't wanna be alone When it ends Don't wanna let you know I don't wanna be alone But I, I can feel it take a hold (I can feel it take a hold) I can feel you take control (I can feel you take control) Of who I am and all I've ever known Loving you's the antidote

Golden You're so golden I don't wanna be alone You're so golden You're so golden I'm out of my head And I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken

I know that you're scared Because I'm so open

You're so golden I don't wanna be alone You're so golden You're so golden You're so golden I'm out of my head And I know that you're scared Because hearts get broken

[ezraackerman]

Patience, test my patience. If I made it too hard for you maybe you should've changed it.

Say it, you should say it, 'Cause I'd say I was wrong just to make it fill all the spaces.

Waiting, always waiting. If I gave you control would you say that (We could've saved it?)

I hope you find a way to be yourself someday, In weakness or in strength, Change can be amazing. So I pray for the best, I pray for the best for you.

I wish you could be honest, I wish you could be honest with me, with me I wish you could be honest, I wish you could be honest with me, with me

Chasing, always chasing dreams. Why'd you stick around, why'd you stay with me? Why'd you fake it?

Hesitation is killing me too. But I couldn't save it, I couldn't save it.

I hope you find a way to be yourself someday, In weakness or in strength, Change can be amazing. So I pray for the best, I pray for the best for you.

I hope you find a way to be yourself someday, In weakness or in strength, Change can be amazing. So I pray for the best, I pray for the best for you.

I wish you could be honest, I wish you could be honest with me, with me I wish you could be honest, I wish you could be honest with me, with me I wish you could be honest, I wish you could be honest with me, with me I wish you could be honest, I wish you could be honest I wish you could be honest, I wish you could be honest