Welcome To My Neverending Nightmare

You really should learn to tell the difference between dreams...and reality. | Unbowed. Unbent. Unbroken. | Writing Blog: She-Devil-Jones | 32 | She/Her |

[ezras-channel-rat]

2023...

You took from me more than you gave...I have nothing to be happy about for the coming New Year.

What you took left me and my family devastated beyond words. You ripped my heart out and bathed it poisonous acid so now I cannot even look at his picture, think about him for a second too long...without me choking up and being blinded by my tears. As I am right fucking now.

You took the purest little soul that ever grace this world with feline paws. His soul, his heart were nothing but good. He was so sweet, so loving, so forgiving, so eager for life.

You took my beloved boy, Vader. My precious Tater Tot. At only 8 yrs old. Every time I wake, I am there's something missing. The other four kitties of our pride know something, someone is missing.

Vader I love you so much and I am so broken now. I just want the impossible...I just want you back, my baby boy. My Tater Tot. My Vader Tater...

Of all the souls you've taken from my family this year...you took the one has me closest to breaking. Only the ones left behind hold me back...

The most painful part...I can't stop blaming myself. Did I do enough? I don't know.

All I know is my heart is broken and I do not foresee it ever healing.

Vader, I wish I could hold you and hear your purr... just. One. Last. Time.

💔💔💔💔

I love you, my Tater Tot...😿💔

[ezras-channel-rat]

I don't foresee myself surviving the next year, much less the next four years, as an American that the current people in power hate. The ones they want to eliminate. And I can't afford to leave this country under any circumstance.

If I'm still around in a year, I'll update this. If not, a consider this my last post. I don't expect to set much attention but whatever.

It's been good time.w I'm sorry none of my fanfics will never be finished.

Good bye.

[punkshort]

Christmas in the City

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: As if your holiday season couldn't get any worse, you get lost on your way to the first day of your new job. Lucky for you, a handsome and flirty stranger finds you on the verge of tears and walks you to your office building, turning your day around instantly.

Warnings: language, fluff, meet-cute, Narcos AU (I basically plucked out the character, stripped him of his DEA credentials, and gave him a different (but similar) job and home), cheesy hallmark vibes, flirting

WC: 2.8K

A/N: This story is inspired by a small thread I found on Twitter ages ago. A girl told a similar story, although there was no romantic element. If anyone recognizes this story can you send it to me so I can credit it?

Your day was turning out to be an absolute nightmare.

Washington, D.C. was still a big and foreign city to you, so it was hardly your fault. You mapped out the walk to work over the weekend, timed how long it would take you to get to your new job from your little apartment, but that was before the snow fell. Now, everything looked completely different and you lost your sense of direction almost immediately.

In the distance, through the mountains of snow pushed between the sidewalks and streets, you thought you saw the glow of a coffee shop you recognized, so you tucked your arms against your chest and pushed on, praying you were headed in the right direction.

It took a few minutes before the light changed and you were safe to cross the street. Seconds kept chipping away and you tried not to stress about the time. You had to resign yourself to the fact that you were going to make a horrible first impression on your boss and be late for your very first day of work at the F.B.I.

And although you knew it was out of your control at that point, you still felt tears sting your eyes when you approached the coffee shop and realized it was, in fact, not the one you recognized from your dry run over the weekend.

You wanted to blame it on the sharp winter wind that bit at your cheeks that made the first tears fall, but deep down you knew the truth. You were a stranger in a busy city about to start a job you had hoped you could make into a successful career, but with your poor planning and horrible sense of direction, you likely just ruined your chances at the position of a lifetime.

"Hey, are you okay?"

You whipped around at the deep voice behind you, but not before swiping quickly at the wet tears on your cheeks with your gloved hand.

"Oh," you breathed when you first laid eyes on the concerned bystander. For one brief moment, you forgot all your worries because the man was gorgeous. Tall and lean with beautiful, soft brown eyes and a prominent mustache decorating his lip, your handsome stranger had you temporarily forgetting your misery as you got lost in his eyes.

"Um, I'm fine," you insisted with a tremble to your voice once you blinked and snapped yourself out of your daydream.

"You sure? You look a little lost," he said with a furrow to his brow.

And maybe it was the stress from the morning that got to you, or maybe it was the looming cloud in the back of your mind reminding you this would be your first Christmas all alone without your family, but suddenly you couldn't stop the hot tears that streamed down your cheeks.

The man's eyes widened in surprise before he glanced around nervously. You buried your face in your hands, knowing you must have been smearing your makeup, but at that point you didn't care. Your day was already ruined.

"Come on, you're alright," he said soothingly. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and steered you in the direction of the coffee shop. "You need something to warm you up, let's go," he added before swinging the door open for you.

"I-I'm already going to be so late," you protested, but he shushed you and pressed a hand against your middle back, giving you a gentle push inside the cozy café.

"If you're already late, what's another ten minutes?" he replied before approaching the counter and taking his gloves off. It was at that point you noticed he was dressed very nicely in an expensive looking three piece suit with a long, black wool overcoat. The only thing out of place were his clunky winter boots, and the sight actually managed to make the corner of your mouth turn up a bit.

"Two hot chocolates, please," he said before fishing out his wallet. Then he glanced back at you before adding, "and a blueberry muffin."

"Oh, you don't have to, I can pay for mine," you said, fumbling for your purse. He shook his head and swiped his card before you could say another word.

"Not a chance."

You smiled up at him, eyes still glistening with tears. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," he replied before handing you your drink and muffin. "Well worth the five bucks to see you smile."

Your face flushed with heat from his kind compliment. You looked around the shop for a place to sit, hoping to hide your embarrassment for just a moment. The pair of you sat down at a table by the window and you took a deep, steadying breath before bringing the cup to your lips and taking a grateful sip.

"I'm Javier," he said, and with a smirk, he stretched his arm across the small table. Your face warmed again when you realized you hadn't even remembered to introduce yourself. You took his hand and shook it, telling him your name while silently marveling at how warm his hands were, despite the weather. He must have very high quality gloves, you thought.

"Well, thank you again, Javier," you said before splitting the muffin and handing him half. He smiled and plucked it from your fingers with a nod.

"You're welcome. Now, what's got you so sad this beautiful morning?" he asked. You laughed, glancing out the window at the anything but beautiful morning waiting for you outside.

"I'm supposed to start my new job today and I'm completely lost," you explained while picking at the muffin. "I just moved here and I'm not familiar with the city. I thought I knew my way to work, but I got turned around and I'm pretty sure I'm going to get fired, now."

Javier huffed and took a sip from his cup. "Where do you work?"

"The F.B.I," you said. If it weren't D.C., you were sure there would have been a stronger reaction to your place of employment, but the city was filled with people who worked for the federal government, so it was far from uncommon.

"Ah, I know where that building is," he said before wiping his mouth with a napkin and crumpling it up. "Why don't I walk you over? It's not far."

"Oh, no," you said with a shake of your head. "You're probably late for work, too. And by the looks of it, you're someone important."

Javier grinned and leaned back in his chair. The café was decorated for Christmas, garland and twinkle lights were wound around every ledge and window. When he looked at you, his eyes sparkled with their reflection, and it was impossible to ignore the way your heart fluttered in your chest.

"I'll be alright. It's not too far. C'mon," he said, standing after you finished your muffin. He stretched out a hand for you after pulling his gloves back on and you smiled before taking it and joining him.

"What did you get hired to do for the F.B.I?" he asked once you were back out on the busy sidewalk. He kept a tight hold on your hand, each of you still clutching your hot chocolate with the other. Anybody walking by might guess you were a couple based on how easily you leaned into each other as you dodged pedestrians from the opposite direction and the thought made you giddy.

"Oh, nothing exciting. Just a secretary for a higher level agent," you said with a shrug.

"Yeah? Nice guy?" he asked curiously. When you came to a stop at the corner, waiting for the light to change, you took the opportunity to look up at him once again. His cheeks were slightly pink from the cold, as well as the tip of his angular nose, and you found it incredibly endearing for some reason.

"I haven't actually met him," you admitted. "I only interviewed with Human Resources and the woman I was replacing. Can't imagine being almost thirty minutes late is going to leave a positive impression, though."

"Don't sweat it. If he's a reasonable guy, he'd understand. Besides, he'd be stupid to let you go," he said, eyes scanning you up and down with a teasing lilt to his voice. Your mouth dropped open the slightest bit, giving away your surprise when it occurred to you for the first time this guy might have actually been flirting with you. It was loud on the streets, the sounds of people talking and laughing combined with the road noise made it impossible to hear him chuckle, but the foggy exhale from his nose when he smirked told you he found your reaction amusing and hopefully adorable.

"You're being too nice," you warned him, then the light changed and you let him lead you across the street, his hand still tightly clutching yours. "You don't even know me. I could be a terrible worker."

"I doubt that," he scoffed before tugging your hand around a corner, leading you back north. It was around then you realized you would have been walking for an hour before you found the right direction.

"Yeah? Why's that?"

Javier grinned but kept his eyes fixed straight ahead.

"You were crying in the street about being late for a job as a secretary, sweetheart. You can be a secretary anywhere, right? So only thing I can think is you hate to let people down, which, to me, is an important quality in a good worker."

You laughed and held onto his hand a little tighter, pausing to toss both of your empty cups in the trash before continuing your snowy walk.

"What is it that you do, Javier?" you asked, dreamily looking up at him. He opened his mouth to answer but he was cut short by a man's panicked voice.

"Whoa, watch out!"

A courier bike has been racing down the street, and at the last second, jumped the curb to avoid getting hit by a taxi. You hardly had time to register the messenger's warning when a sharp tug came from Javier, who had pulled you out of the way without hesitation. You stumbled to the side, narrowly missing getting knocked over, and fell right into Javier's arms. Due to your momentum, he spun you both around so you wouldn't fall and in the blink of an eye, your back was pressed against the frosty glass storefront of a bakery with Javier accidentally pinning you with his body.

"Are you alright?" he asked breathlessly. You nodded, heart racing in your chest.

"Yeah. Shit. Thank you," you mumbled.

"Sorry!" came the distant apology from the bike messenger, already halfway down the block. Javier lifted his chin to scowl in his direction, allowing your brain a chance to catch up, and you immediately grew flustered when you realized the compromising position you were in. His body was firm and broad underneath his suit and coat. You could feel his strength even underneath all the layers between you. Glancing up, you saw his one forearm was braced above your head while his other hand had found a home on your lower back.

Your gaze traveled slowly up his torso, noticing for the first time your hands were clutching at his coat for dear life, a fact that added to the many reasons your cheeks felt so warm.

When Javier turned to look down at you, you could see the moment he realized how close you had become, but instead of growing shy, his eyes darkened and he swallowed tightly.

"You got a little-"

Javier released your waist and pulled off his glove with his teeth so he could swipe his thumb gently under your eye, fixing your smeared mascara from your earlier bouts of tears. Your eyelids fluttered from his careful touch and your breath got caught in your throat when you noticed the way his hand lingered on your face for a moment longer than necessary before he pulled his hand away and stepped backwards.

He cleared his throat and ran his fingers through his thick, dark brown hair before shoving his hand back in his glove.

"Alright, trouble, we're almost there."

You blinked and nodded before forcing yourself off the window to join him. Your hand fidgeted at your side, wishing you had the guts to take his hand again, but much to your delight, Javier's fingers laced with yours after half a block, making you both smile shyly when you caught each other's eye.

"Any big plans for the holidays?" Javier asked you. You shook your head sadly.

"I just moved here and my family all lives in a small town outside of Albany," you explained. "If I do still have a job, I certainly couldn't ask for time off already. And if I don't, well," you laughed lightly and shook your head. "I don't exactly have the money to travel, so... quiet Christmas this year. What about you?"

"No big plans. I don't have much family, but the ones I do have are in Texas. Wasn't planning on traveling home this year, so... quiet Christmas for me, too."

You tried, you really did, to come up with the courage to ask for his number or give him yours. For the entirety of the walk to your building, you kept rehearsing things you could say: Maybe we can get together if we're both in town? I'd love to get you a hot chocolate to repay the favor... or something stronger. Ugh. Dumb. Hey, since I'm new around here and it sounds like we'll both have time on our hands, why don't you show me around? Nope. Too bold. Why don't you give me your number so I can let you know if I kept my job after all?

Yes. That was the one. Light hearted and kind of funny. But when you found yourselves standing outside the familiar looking building, moments away from saying your goodbyes, you chickened out.

"Well, thank you again," you said nervously. He dropped your hand and opened the front door to the lobby, holding it for you so you could walk inside. It was quiet in the expansive lobby due to the odd hour. Most employees had already arrived for the day and were somewhere in the depths of the building, along with a very likely irate HR recruiter wondering where you were.

"No problem, happy to help out," he said with a lopsided grin. You didn't even question why he was still walking with you towards the front desk, far too preoccupied with the fact you were going to lose your job before it even started. When you got close enough to the receptionist, she glanced up from her computer and gave you both a warm smile.

"Hi, good morning," you told her while clasping your hands on top of the tall counter. You gave her your name and the name of your HR recruiter, letting her know you were a little late and you had run into some trouble with the weather.

"Alrighty, give me one moment and I'll have Carly meet you to review your onboarding paperwork. I see you've already met Agent Peña - good morning, Javier," she added with a flirty smile in his direction. Your jaw dropped and you swiveled to your left but he was already calling the elevator a short distance away.

"Morning, Laura," he called, locking eyes with you for just a brief moment before the elevators dinged. You stood frozen in shock, unable to form a single thing to say when he added, "I better get upstairs. My new secretary's supposed to start today. It'd look terrible if I were late."

Javier stepped into the car and tapped a number along with a plastic ID card. His gaze found yours once more and she shot you a playful wink right before the doors slid shut, leaving you to your stunned silence.

"Is- is that..." you trailed off, still staring blankly at the closed elevator. "Is that the agent I'm assigned to?"

Laura had just set her phone down in the cradle. "Yeah," she said dreamily before glancing around the empty room and leaning forward. "Lucky girl. His other secretary was with him for ages. I heard when she announced her retirement, HR got, like, thirty internal resumes for the job," she giggled.

"Oh, wow," was all you could muster before the elevator reopened and out stepped Carly.

"Good morning!" she said cheerily. "Sorry to hear you ran into some tough weather but I'm glad you made it. Don't worry, Agent Peña just got here, too."

You still apologized profusely for your tardiness as you followed her onto the elevator, your mind and pulse racing at the sudden turn of events.

"He's very nice, I think you'll get along great," Carly added while watching the numbers above the elevator door.

"Yeah, I think so, too," you replied, trying to hide the excitement from your voice.

Maybe your first day wasn't going to be a complete nightmare, after all.

Please follow @punkshort-notifs and turn on notifications for fic updates ❤️

[monamoni]

[niftyandinterestingstuff]

There was a time when I thought being a lighthouse keeper would be a cool job. Then I started seeing videos like this... :(

[minibunnywolfkins]

Amazing 😳

It takes a strong person to do this job, a very isolating, solitary life.

[punkshort]

Just Friends

Thank you @brittmb115 for this prompt!

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: Accompanying your friend Javier to his holiday work party seemed simple enough until it gets a little too hard to just pretend to be dating.

Warnings: language, fake dating, one bed trope, sexual tension, jealousy, flirting, cigarette use, alcohol use, friends to lovers, reader has insecurities about her looks, fingering, smut (18+ MDNI), unprotected piv sex

WC: 6.4K

dividers by @saradika-graphics

"Please, cariño, it's just one night. The party's at a casino about two hours outside the city. The DEA paid for hotel rooms 'cause they're worried about people drinking and driving. We'll be back by noon on Saturday, you'll still have your whole weekend to mope around over Travis," Javi begged as he followed you around your kitchen.

"Trent," you corrected with a glare over your shoulder. Javi just waved you off.

"Yeah, whatever. His name doesn't matter anymore, now does it?" he countered with an arched brow. You frowned and continued to put your dishes away.

Javier was right - Trent's name didn't matter anymore. Not after he dumped you out of the blue, two weeks before Christmas. He probably didn't want to buy you a gift, Javier had said when you called him up crying. It wasn't exactly the most comforting thing to hear, but at least he made you laugh.

"And why is it you don't want to attend this event by yourself? I thought you would have wanted to take some poor secretary back to your room for the evening," you said, flipping the dishwasher closed before playfully adding, "This better not be some sick move to try to get into my pants again." Javi pulled out his carton of cigarettes and began to anxiously tap it against his palm. When you whisked by, you smacked it out of his hand with a warning: do not smoke in my house.

"You've made it very clear I won't be touching your pants, hermosa," he chuckled, recalling a handful of failed attempts to get you into bed before giving up entirely. "But, uh, I've been taking one too many secretaries home lately," Javi admitted with a lopsided grin. "Got one real pissed at me for not calling her back. Had to make up a lie that I had gotten back together with an ex, so..."

Your jaw dropped and you stared daggers at him with your hands on your hips.

"So not only are you asking me to go with you to this party, but I'm supposed to pretend we're dating?" you clarified, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach. When he nodded sheepishly, you tossed your hands in the hair and began to curse under your breath.

"Oh, come on! It won't be that bad! It's not like she's gonna say anything. It's just for looks. Hell, you never know. Maybe you'll meet someone at this thing. I could be doing you the favor of a lifetime," he said before hopping up to sit on your kitchen island. You smacked his knee when you walked past and he grinned.

"I have barstools, you know."

"Yeah, but I like it up here. Better view," he winked and jutted his chin towards your v-neck shirt.

"Gross," you scowled, making him laugh. He took a handful of nuts from the bowl on your counter and shook them in his hand like dice.

"So? What's it gonna be? You in?"

You watched him tip his head back, pouring some peanuts in his mouth, and you sighed. What the hell. You didn't have anything better to do.

"Fine."

Javier jumped off the counter excitedly. "Thank you! I owe you one!" he exclaimed before heading for your door. "I gotta run. I'll pick you up around noon on Friday. And, hey - bring a dress. The party is a little formal."

You rolled your eyes and groaned, then shooed him out your door. "Thanks. Now I have to figure out a damn outfit."

"You're the best!" he shouted happily from his car. You shut your door and turned around to sag against the wood, finally surrounded with silence. Something you thought you were craving until you had it, and then suddenly you realized you had never felt more alone in your life.

"Where the hell is this place?" you asked, staring out the passenger seat of Javier's jeep. It felt like the car kept climbing higher and higher, and the way your ears were popping, you were thinking your hunch was right.

"It's a hotel slash casino up in the hills," he said with a nod towards the open, winding road. "Supposed to have a hell of a view."

"Yeah, guess so," you muttered, then gasped when a clearing came into view and you saw just how high up you really were. "Oh, my god! Javi - look!"

"I'm driving, cariño," he reminded you with a smirk, but his eyes still flickered quickly over the ridge.

"Wow," you said breathlessly. The view was spectacular. Miles and miles of hills and trees surrounded a sprawling hotel/casino. If you were closer to the edge, you would be able to see a lazy river snaking around the bottom of the mountain.

"Alright. So what's the story?" you asked when you settled back in your seat. There was still a ways to go until you reached the casino, but you could see it from the road nestled into the landscape.

"What story?"

"Our story," you said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You told a girl you got back together with an ex. So, why did we originally break up?"

"Oh," Javi said, scratching his chin. "I don't know. You really think it matters?"

"Maybe. Who knows? Probably a good idea we at least talk about it," you shrugged.

Javi thought about it for a minute before snapping his fingers. "You wanted marriage and I didn't."

You made a face and shook your head.

"That would imply we're on the path to getting engaged. You really think you can fake a whole marriage because you pissed off a girl at work?"

"Yeah, good point," he mumbled before falling quiet to think about it some more. After a few minutes, he came up with another idea. "How about you were gonna move away for a job and we didn't want to do long distance, but the job fell through and you stayed?"

You nodded slowly, rolling the idea around in your head.

"Yeah, that's good. That'll work. Then one day to explain why you're single again, you can say I got another job offer out of state or something."

"Exactly."

"Alright. Easy enough," you hummed, then turned to gaze out your window again. Javi watched you for a few minutes out of the corner of his eye, his jaw working back and forth while he tried to come up with the right words to express his gratitude.

"Hey, uh," he said, clearing his throat. You turned to look at him expectantly. "I just wanna thank you again. I know you're going through a tough time and all that-"

"Don't mention it," you said dismissively. "It's not a big deal. Plenty of guys out there, right?"

Javi gave you a tight smile. "Yeah. Sure."

One thing that you didn't have a chance to fully think through was the sleeping situation. As Javi checked you in and you heard the girl at the front desk confirm one king sized bed, you felt yourself stiffen. He signed and grabbed the keys, then shot you a warm smile before gesturing towards the elevators. From the looks of it, Javier didn't mind one bit. Then, of course, it was Javier...

"No funny business," you declared when you entered your room and Javier flopped down tiredly on the huge bed. "You stick to your side, I'll stick to mine."

"Whatever you say, cariño," he replied with his eyes closed. "I'll be reminding you of that later tonight when you're all over me after a few drinks."

"That was one time and I told you I was sorry!" you exclaimed, cheeks burning from the memory.

Your relationship in the past with Javier was... complicated. When you first met, it felt like you kept seeking each other out at all the worst times. Whenever you made a move, he was unavailable, and vice versa. Eventually, you had decided to just be friends and left it at that. And it worked well. You had an easy relationship where it felt effortless and natural to go to the other with some exciting news, and sought a shoulder to cry on if something bad happened. It just seemed to work better without the romantic element.

All of that aside, at the crux of the issue was you were a romantic, through and through. You liked being in long term relationships. You enjoyed the comfort and peace it brought. Javier, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. You couldn't even remember the last time he brought the same girl out for drinks more than once and you had a suspicion he had never been in love.

"I'm just messing with you. Can't help it, I like when you're all flustered," Javi said before sitting up with a groan. When he stretched, you found your eyes drifting down to where his shirt rode up, revealing a small sliver of bronzed skin. You swallowed and forced yourself to look away because no matter how many times you reminded yourself it would never work between you, it didn't stop you from being unbearably attracted to him.

It was the confidence that he exuded. That was what you had finally decided was the thing that kept you drawn to him in a decidedly less-than-friendly way. But of course, you were quick to remember you weren't the only one who was attracted to his charm. Half the women in the city noticed it, too. You had just gotten very good at hiding it.

"What time's the party start?" you asked, hauling your duffel bag onto the bed so you could begin to unpack your toiletries. The first thing you did was take out the dark red slinky dress you bought so you could steam out the wrinkles with the iron packed away in the coat closet. What you didn't notice was the way Javier's eyes greedily locked onto the fabric while you moved around the room.

"Uh..." he murmured, his pulse quickening when he saw the plunging neckline of your dress. "That new?"

You furrowed your brow and turned around. "Yeah. I didn't exactly have anything suitable so I went shopping. Why? You don't like it?"

"No, no... it's perfect," he assured you. Javier blinked a few times, snapping himself out of it, and looked at you. "Very... festive."

You grinned and hung up the dress on the back of the bathroom door. "Thanks. I thought so, too. So... the party? What time?"

"Oh, right. Cocktail hour starts at five, dinner's at seven then dancing or whatever til who knows when."

You glanced at your watch and made a face after you did a quick pass with the iron.

"I better get in the shower, then," you said, grabbing your things. Javier leaned back onto the headboard and flicked on the television with the ease of a man who didn't intend on putting in much work on his appearance for evening. However, once you finished your hair and makeup and stepped out of the bathroom in that damn dress, he suddenly felt like he should have tried a little harder.

"Maybe I should put something in my hair," he muttered, his fingers flicking through the dark locks as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. You appeared in the doorway of the bathroom looking way too fucking attractive to be his date, let alone masquerading as his girlfriend. Your brows pinched together as you looked at his hair and it took every last ounce of willpower not to let his eyes fall to your cleavage in that tight dress.

"I think your hair looks good," you said. When you reached up to fix a stray piece of his hair, he cleared his throat and twisted away.

"Alright, let's get this thing over with," he mumbled as he slid past you and headed towards the door.

"What's got you so grumpy?"

"Nothing. Just need a drink and a smoke."

"You're gonna abandon me with a bunch of DEA agents to go smoke for ten minutes?" you whined, following him out of your hotel room towards the elevators.

"You could always join me. You'd look like Bette Davis smoking a cigarette and wearing that dress," he replied when you both stepped inside the elevator. He tapped the lobby button and grinned down at you.

"You and Bette Davis," you laughed, rolling your eyes.

"What? She made smoking look so damn cool."

"Yeah, well, I think I'm going to pass," you told him. "I'll get a drink and mingle. Maybe find one of the girls you pissed off and have a cat fight."

Javi chuckled and shook his head. "That's a long list, baby. Shouldn't be too hard."

When the elevator doors slid open, you could hear the music thumping from the ballroom and laughter echoing off the walls.

"Sounds like they didn't waste any time," you said to Javier.

"Are you kidding? When the government gives you an open bar, you fucking milk it," he replied before taking one step towards the front doors. "You sure you're good for a few?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," you said, waving him off. He nodded and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. Before he even made it to the door, he slipped one in between his lips.

The ballroom was pretty full already, Javi was right: when government employees have a chance to let loose, they jump at the opportunity. The entire room was decorated in Christmas lights, garland, and at least five different trees. The DJ was cycling through a mix of Christmas carols, pop music, and classic rock. Some people already shaking their hips on the dance floor with drinks in their hands. You spotted two different bars set up, so you made your way to the nearest one and ordered a white wine. As you waited, you bopped your head along to the beat of Last Christmas while mindlessly scrolling on your phone.

"Jack Daniels, neat," a man's deep voice said from beside you when the bartender placed your wine glass on a coaster. You thanked him and slid a few dollars across the bar before taking a sip.

"Excuse me... have we met?"

You turned to look at your neighbor and slowly shook your head. He was cute. Blonde hair parted to one side, mustache, lean but strong physique and sparkling blue eyes.

"No, we haven't," you said before offering your hand and name.

"Steve," he grinned, giving your hand a firm shake before accepting his drink with a nod and a couple bucks in the tip jar. "What department do you work in?"

"Oh, I don't work for the DEA, I'm here with someone," you said, leaning closer. You watched his face fall when you implied you weren't single and you pursed your lips. How the hell would Javi expect you to meet anyone when you had to pretend to be his girlfriend?

"I mean, just a friend. A good friend," you added, praying you didn't blow Javi's cover the first time you opened your mouth. "Uh, what do you do?"

"I'm an agent," he told you, chest puffing with pride. "Takin' down drug rings one scumbag at a time."

"Wow. That's so impressive," you gushed. You saw the way his cheeks flushed a bit and preened when he glanced down at your chest. "That must be so hard. What's your favorite part about the job?"

"Goin' to the Christmas party and meeting beautiful women like you," he shot back smoothly, making you giggle and toss your hair flirtatiously over your shoulder. Steve's gaze dragged up and down your dress appreciatively before adding, "I mean it. You look stunning. Should've known someone like you didn't work for the DEA."

"Oh, stop," you giggled, feeling your face warm from his compliment.

"Where are you sitting? Maybe I can convince you to dance after dinner? Now fair warning, I got two left feet, but I got a feeling no one's gonna be lookin' at me," Steve grinned, taking a step closer and grazing his thumb along your bare arm.

"Hmm, that sounds-"

"Murphy."

You both twisted around to find Javier storming across the room. And storming was really the only word for it. His fists were clenched and his jaw pulled tight like he was about to take a swing at Steve.

"Javi," you greeted him sweetly with a smile. At the same time, Steve said, "Peña."

"What's going on here?" he asked, sidling up so he could wedge himself between you and Steve.

"Nothing. Steve and I were just talking," you said innocently.

"Looked like more than that," Javier huffed. His tone and the serious look on his face made you falter. Did you do something wrong?

"Well-"

"I was just asking her for a dance after dinner. Relax, Jav," Steve joked with a playful punch to his shoulder. When Javi remained stoic and unmoving at your side, the smile slowly slipped from Steve's face.

"Oh, shit. Sorry. I thought you were just friends."

"We are," you said quickly, but Steve was already backing away.

"Enjoy your night! It was lovely to meet you," Steve said with a wink before disappearing into the crowd. You swiveled on your heel to glare at Javi.

"Why didn't you correct him?" you seethed.

Javi just shrugged, his relaxed demeanor slipping back in place, and leaned up against the bar to flag down a bartender. "You can do better than Steve."

"Who are you to say?" you argued back after he ordered a whiskey. "We were clicking! And he's cute, why-"

"'Cause I don't want you fucking my partner, hermosa, that's why," Javi snapped. Your eyes widened and you clamped your mouth shut for a moment.

"He's your partner? Why didn't you ever introduce us before? He's-"

"C'mon, let's go find the appetizers or something," he said after snatching his glass from the bar top. It was very evident you wouldn't be getting any more information out of Javier so you decided to drop the subject. But as the happy hour inched along with your third drink in your hand and Javi's arm finding a permanent home around your waist as he introduced you to his coworkers, your mind kept drifting back to that hardened look he had given you and Steve. The butterflies in your stomach churned to life every time you thought about it, your memory twisting things so you could pretend he was jealous over you flirting with another man. It wasn't that hard to imagine, really. He could hardly keep himself from touching either your waist or lower back or grabbing your hand. It fed the little fantasy in your head, deluding yourself into thinking he was subtly trying to claim you in front of the whole party, warning others to stay away.

You had given up reminding yourself that the fake relationship schtick was just an act by the end of dinner. It was too nice to pretend otherwise.

Javi had been wrapped up in a long winded conversation with the man seated on the other side of him, but your heart was fluttering the whole time because from the moment he set his silverware down, his hand hadn't once left your leg.

With a dreamy smile plastered across your face, your eyes casually drifted around the room. People were already beginning to dance but many still remained at their dinner tables chatting. You had been quietly admiring the artwork on the walls and sipping from your glass when you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. It was hard to explain, but you just felt like someone was staring at you. Doing your best to be subtle, you shifted in your seat and let your gaze wander around the room again until you found the source.

There was a table to your left, half of which was empty, but five young women remained staring in your direction. Some had drinks dangling from their fingers, one had a scowl and another was leaning in to whisper something in her ear.

There was no question one of the girls must have been one of Javi's scorned lovers. If not all of them. Your heart sunk a little when you saw how beautiful they were and you forced yourself to look away.

Javier was handsome, he had charm, and he was funny. A lethal combination that managed to get him in bed with some extremely drop dead gorgeous women. It was then you felt your insecurities flare up. How could anyone buy you were a couple when he was used to having girls like that on his arm?

With Javier still talking, you stood up from your chair, suddenly feeling flustered and overwhelmed.

He stopped speaking mid sentence to look up and ask, "Where are you going?"

"Uh," you glanced around and swallowed nervously. "I think I just need some fresh air. I'll be right back."

"I'll go with you," he said, immediately standing. "I'll catch up with you later, Jim," Javi added over his shoulder before hurrying to catch up with you. When his palm pressed against your back, your feet automatically slowed.

"What's going on? Drink too much?"

"No. Well, maybe. I don't know," you rambled, eyes scanning for the exit. "I just feel like I don't fit in here."

"What? Why?" he asked, grabbing your arm and spinning you around. His face was filled with concern as he tucked a stray piece of hair behind your ear. "You're doing great, cariño. I thought you were having fun."

"I was. I am," you stammered, and then your gaze landed on the table of girls, most of which had moved on to something else.

Before you could tear your eyes away, Javier noticed where you were looking and sighed.

"Yeah, sorry. I told you, I pissed off a woman or two here."

"It's not that," you mumbled, now staring down at the floor.

"Then what is it?"

You felt your cheeks flush and you couldn't look him in the eye when you finally admitted, "They're really pretty, Javi."

He just scoffed and took your hand in his.

"You're prettier."

You laughed lightly and shook your head. "Yeah, right. It's a good thing there's an open bar. Otherwise, I'm not sure people would believe we're together when you're usually seen with girls like that."

"Hey," Javi said softly. He hooked a finger under your chin and tilted it up so you would look at him. "Don't say that. You look better than anyone else here. If you weren't already, I'd be trying to get you up to my room right now," he said with a smirk. You giggled a little and sighed.

"Sorry. I guess I just had a moment or something," you said, breathing deep. Javi looked around the room and noticed how the dance floor was beginning to fill up.

"Wanna dance?"

You smiled and pulled your lower lip between your teeth as you watched others having fun on the dance floor. Without waiting for your answer, Javi tugged your hand and tilted his head, urging you to follow him. "C'mon, don't leave me hanging."

You laughed and let him lead you to the dance floor, weaving through the throngs of people until he found a little wiggle room, but right when he turned back to look at you with a big, goofy smile, the fast tempo switched to a much slower ballad. Javi cocked an eyebrow at you and extended a hand, unphased.

With a smile of your own, you took his hand and let him pull you in close. His fingers laced together with yours while his other arm wrapped around your middle and your free hand came to rest on his shoulder.

"Hey, you can dance," he teased when you fell into rhythm with him effortlessly.

"Of course I can dance," you said, rolling your eyes. Being that close to him, you could smell his aftershave, the whiskey on his breath, and a faint hint of cigarette smoke from earlier. The smell you had unknowingly grown to love. The smell that was, simply put, Javier.

You gazed up at him, smiling at the little pink tinting his cheeks and the glassy look in his eye. He looked so fucking adorable it almost pained you.

"Can I ask you something, Javi?" you asked quietly. His eyes softened at your tone and he nodded. "Why were you so mad earlier when I was talking to Steve? Really?"

The corner of his mouth twitched and his eyes flickered somewhere behind you as he considered his answer.

"I think you know why."

When he looked back down at you, the playfulness was gone. His eyes carried something else in them. Something he couldn't bring himself to say. Then your heart skipped a beat and your breath caught in your throat when you saw it. The look you had been aching to see from him for years. The same look you were giving him at the very same time.

And then it hit you. Yeah, you knew why.

It turned out Javier was much more popular at work than you ever expected. You had spent the rest of your dance trying to come up with the right thing to say, but you panicked and lost your chance when Javier's boss nudged his shoulder while dancing with his wife. The four of you fell into a conversation - the men about work, you and his boss's wife about Christmas bargains - in the middle of the dance floor. When you realized you were in the way, the conversation moved to the bar. After that, an investigator joined in the conversation with her girlfriend and before you knew it, it was nearly midnight and the moment you had with Javi on the dance floor was long forgotten.

Or so you thought.

It had been a long night. You were exhausted and your feet ached from the new shoes you picked out to match your dress. You had hoped to possibly find an opening and talk to Javi about what you thought he implied during your dance, but while you were waiting for him to wash up, you passed out cold.

One thing you knew for certain was you were on your side of the bed when you fell asleep. You knew that because your side faced the bathroom and you had rolled over to wait for Javi before you fell asleep. However, you couldn't explain why you woke up around three in the morning with your cheek resting on his shoulder and your arm wrapped around his waist.

Well, maybe you could explain it. It was probably your subconscious trying to seek him out after spending the evening being so close to him. No matter the reason, you knew you had to sneak back to your side of the bed before he woke up, so you slowly began to extract your arm.

"Where're you goin'?" Javi murmured sleepily. Your eyes widened and your heart began to race.

"Nowhere, just go back to sleep," you whispered, pulling your arm away. Just as you were about to roll over, Javi's hand shot out to grab your wrist. You froze, cheek still pressed against his shoulder, and slowly lifted your eyes up to meet his.

It was hard to see in the dark, but from what you could tell, he was wide awake. His dark brown eyes continued to study your face while you fumbled for words.

"Javi?" you said, voice sounding so small in the quiet room. His eyes flickered anxiously between yours for another moment before he came to his decision. In one quick movement, he had rolled you onto your back, his hips fitting perfectly between your legs as he caged you in.

"Javi," you said again, although this time sounding far more breathless and aroused than you intended.

He swallowed tightly, gaze flickering from your eyes to your lips before he whispered, "Do you feel it too, cariño?"

You shifted underneath him, eyelids fluttering when you felt his arousal pressing up against the inside of your thigh.

"Yes," you whispered back.

His mouth crashed against yours in an instant. It was rougher than you expected it to be but you didn't mind. You understood because you felt it, too. All that time wasted, dancing around something that was right in front of you the entire time. It was bound to drive anyone a little crazy, a little hungry.

Before you knew it, your fingers were in his hair, dragging down his shoulders, and then tugging at his shirt, and all the while his mouth remained cemented against yours. He had to pull away to yank his white tshirt over his head and you heard yourself make a pathetic little noise, like you couldn't possibly survive without his kiss, not even for one second.

"Take this off," he panted, lifting your oversized shirt halfway up your torso. You didn't need to be told twice. You flung it off and pulled Javier back down before he even had a chance to take a good look at your bare chest.

Everything was moving so fast but given the amount of time it took you to get there, it felt like a fucking eternity. He expertly tugged your shorts and underwear off while your tongues fought for dominance in each other's mouths. It wasn't even until you felt his fingers brush against your cunt that you realized you were entirely undressed.

"Oh, god... Javi!" you cried out brokenly when he slipped two fingers inside of you.

His mouth fell to your chin and he made a strangled sound, curling his fingers when he said, "Fuck, baby, when you say my name like that..."

His hand maintained a steady rhythm between your legs, reaching for that spot that made your back curl off the bed every time he thrusted inside. His other hand got lost in your hair, tipping your face so he could feverishly lock his lips with yours while dragging your first orgasm to the surface with a few circles over your sensitive clit.

"Javi! Wait... I'm gonna - I'm gonna come -" you gasped, unable to stop your hips from rolling up and meeting his hand.

"Go ahead, hermosa. I got you."

"No," you whimpered, muscles going tense. You were getting to the point of no return and you needed to stop him. "I wanna - I want you to fuck me, Javi. I - I wanna -"

Your head fell back into the pillow, unable to complete your sentence.

"I am. I'm gonna fuck you," he assured you, lips ghosting the shell of your ear and wrist snapping faster between your thighs. "I'll make you come on my cock, don't worry, baby. Just let go, c'mon, you can do that for me, right?"

"Oh, fuck," you gasped, eyes squeezed shut. "Fuck, fuck, fu- yes, Javi, yes! More... please-"

"Christ, cariño, you're gonna wake the whole fucking hotel," he chuckled, but you were too far gone to care. You tilted your chin to the ceiling, his name echoing off the walls as you came. It felt like your heart was going to beat right out of your chest, like your legs were so weak you may never walk again, yet somehow it wasn't enough. Not for either of you. In fact, it only seemed to make you each more desperate.

Your kisses on his skin became messy, both of you so eager to have the other that there was no room to worry about being too fast or abrasive. Your teeth clashed together when your arm curved around his neck, yanking him down to your level. Your shared hot breaths mingled with each pant and gasp. When you reached down to wrap your fingers around the heavy weight of his cock, he moaned into your open mouth and slid his fingers from your pussy so you could line him up with your entrance, neither of you in any mood to wait a second longer.

"Fu-uck," he groaned when he pushed inside of you, burying himself to the hilt in one go. You gasped and sharply bit down on his shoulder when tears sprung up and threatened to spill down your cheeks.

"You okay?" he panted, planting weak kisses against the side of your face. All you could do was nod. He filled you and stretched you so perfectly that it took your breath away and left you speechless. He nodded, too, lips parted as he puffed for air, then began to rock his hips. Slow at first, then steady and deep.

"Javi," you moaned in his ear, sending a shiver through his body. "Shit, just like that. Oh my god, Javi, just like that!"

Javier smirked into your shoulder, fucking you with deep, long strokes as you continued to fill the room with your cries and moans.

"Never thought you'd be so goddamn loud, baby," he teased, nipping playfully at your shoulder.

"Sorry," you whined into the air. Your jaw was clenched tight, fingers clawing uselessly at his broad shoulders while he continued to pump in and out a little bit harder, a little bit faster, setting loose one of the tears that welled up in your eyes.

"Don't be sorry, I fucking love it," he groaned. He lifted himself up so he could watch your face contort with each devastating thrust. "Fucking love how you say my name. Dreamed about it for so long, you have no idea-"

"Me, too," you moaned, a second tear trickling down your cheek. You wrapped your legs around his waist, holding onto him tightly as he began to fuck you faster. His eyes flickered down to your bare chest, breasts bouncing from the force of his thrusts. Craning his neck down, he latched onto one with a groan, teeth grazing enticingly over your nipple before sucking the other one into his mouth.

"God, you're so perfect," he mumbled into the space between your breasts. "So fucking perfect, hermosa. Drove me fucking crazy all night."

Your heart stuttered before grabbing the sides of his head and pulling him up for a deep kiss. Every time he slammed inside of you, it had you seeing stars. You felt completely at his mercy, unable to think about anything else except him, him, him.

"Tell me you want more," he demanded, pulling away from your kiss so he could look you in the eye. His eyes were blown wide with lust and a few dark hairs were beginning to stick to his forehead, the image so captivating that he had you nodding dumbly to his request.

"Yes, Javi, please," you moaned, "more, please, fuck me-"

"No, I mean-"

His hips slowed and he cupped your face, chest heaving and lips parted for air as he stared down at you imploringly. "I mean, tell me you want more than just tonight. Tell me there's something else here."

You blinked rapidly and nodded, stunned he would even have to ask when you had always been the one to prefer relationships. Hardly trusting yourself to speak, you whispered, "Yeah. I want more than just tonight. I want more than just this."

A smile stretched across his face right before he lunged down to capture your lips with his own. His hips resumed their pace, snapping steadily into you and pushing you higher and higher until you stiffened and cried out his name.

"Oh, fuck. Oh, shit," he muttered, hips stuttering against you, his name still tumbling from your mouth as the last of your orgasm rippled through your body. "Baby - look at me," he begged, and it wasn't until that moment you realized your eyelids had even shut.

Tiredly, you opened your eyes to gaze up at him. The way he was looking at you caused a lump to form in your throat and you had to suppress a shiver. It was too intense all of the sudden, the air thickening between you in a matter of seconds.

"Come for me, Javi," you murmured lowly. You brought a shaky hand up to card through his damp hair, watching as his eyebrows pinched and his chin dropped, pulling out of you quickly and sitting back on his heels to fist his cock. Your hand fell back to the cool sheets beside you, unable to look away. He was hunched above you, one fist pressed into the mattress and the other jerking himself off until he stilled with a deep groan, painting your stomach with his sticky release. You couldn't even let yourself blink, doing your best to commit every detail to memory until he collapsed next to you with a heavy sigh.

"Fucking Christ," he grumbled, forearm tossed over his eyes. You giggled, face warming when you heard how raspy you sounded. Javier removed his arm and turned his head to look at you with a lopsided grin.

"You're a screamer, hermosa."

"Javi!" you cried out softly, but your broken voice only further proved his argument. He chuckled and rolled onto his side to push some hair away from your eyes.

"I was expecting a phone call from the front desk ten minutes ago."

"Shut up, Javi!" you whined, covering your face with your palms.

"Don't be embarrassed, baby, I love it," he said while pulling your hands away. You bit your lip and peered up at him, searching his face for any sign of regret and finding none. Then his face softened and he swallowed nervously before adding, "I'm in love with you."

He said it so quietly, so sweetly, that it had you wondering if you were hearing things. But then you saw the anxious look in his eye and your pulse skyrocketed.

"Really?" you asked in disbelief. Slowly, he nodded.

"Yeah. I think I've been in love with you for a while," he admitted, tracing an invisible line down your cheek.

You laughed and two fresh tears fell when you said, "I love you, too."

His mouth crashed against yours in relief and you wrapped your arms around his neck, matching smiles pressing together in stunned happiness.

"I'm sorry I wasted so much time and didn't tell you sooner," he murmured while stroking your hair.

"It doesn't matter," you replied, "we have each other now."

Javi smiled and kissed the tip of your nose.

"So, now what?" he asked.

"Now? Now I would really like to take a shower," you said, then grinned when you added, "and maybe in the morning we can do this all over again."

He laughed and rolled to his side so you could get out of bed. When his eyes locked onto your ass as you made your way to the bathroom in the dark, he flung the covers off and leapt out of bed to follow you.

"I think we're gonna need a late check out."

Please follow @punkshort-notifs and turn on notifications for fic updates ❤️

[kirsteng42]

Oh getting chatted up by Steve too!!!!

[blignick]

[idiosyncatsy]

really underrated part of the LotR films is when gollum gets exposition lines. like can you imagine? you're travelling with the most fucked-up evil little murder greyhound creature imaginable and he lives in a cave and doesn't know about potatoes but from time to time you have to ask him about local geopolitics. and he answers you

[dathomirdumpsterfire]

wheeeezzziiinngggg.

[hot-wire-this-old-car]

i hope they know what an icon they are

[blackwingedrat]

UnitedHealthcare CEO shooting (4 December 2024)

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

[cetitan]

[switchkick]

[bruce-waynes-mascara]

[ezras-channel-rat]

Hey, if anyone wants to exchange Christmas/Holiday cards this year? Willing to send internationally, too!

Love you all, sorry I've been AWOL for so long. Life has been a roller coaster for the last long while.

💙/ ezras-channel-rat

💜🐀💚

[ezras-channel-rat]

Tagging those whose names I can remember 😅 Apologies to all those I missed--my memory is terrible.

@grogusmum @oftincturedwords @quicax3 @writeforfandoms @littlemisspascal @littlepadika-main @sirowsky @dornish-queen @something-tofightfor @supernaturalgirl @insomniamamma @a-pirate-my-hearties @prolix-yuy @fuckyeahdindjarin

[write-and-buried]

Wrap Party

Dieter Bravo x F!Reader

After a paid appearance at an Indie film wrap party, you’re stunned to find yourself in the bed of Hollywood’s most famous douchebag

Wanna Bet?

Dieter Bravo x F!Reader

You’re just an assistant to his assistant. So why does he keep looking at you like you’re a banquet and he’s starving?

Lingerie

Dieter Bravo x F!Reader

Dieter in panties. That’s it. That’s the fic.

Morning | Afternoon | Evening

Exhibition (a drabble)

Porn Star Dieter x Porn Star Reader

He’s a porn star and so are you

How Dieter Jerks Off (drabble)

Celestial Navigation(Masterlist)

Just That Kind of Day

Marcus Pike x F!Reader

It was just a no-good-very-bad-awful kind of day

The Thirteenth Step

Frankie Morales x F!Reader

The first time you meet Frankie, he trades you Xanax for cocaine.

Slumber

Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Just an afternoon nap. Gone deliciously awry

Postcards

Trinkets

The Ethics of Forging Masterpieces (drabble)

The Appreciation of Fine Liquor (drabble)

[controversial-feminist]

Women who don't want babies

• are not selfish • are not less of a woman • are not weird • are not immature • won’t necessarily change her mind • won’t necessary be a lonely old lady • “a lonely old crazy cat lady” is a patriarchal asshole stereotype:):):):) • doesn’t necessarily hate kids • doesn’t need to give you an explanation

[deathation]

[itsfelixiguess]

[ezras-channel-rat]

Hey, if anyone wants to exchange Christmas/Holiday cards this year? Willing to send internationally, too!

Love you all, sorry I've been AWOL for so long. Life has been a roller coaster for the last long while.

💙/ ezras-channel-rat

💜🐀💚

[ezras-channel-rat]

Tagging those whose names I can remember 😅 Apologies to all those I missed--my memory is terrible.

@grogusmum @oftincturedwords @quicax3 @writeforfandoms @littlemisspascal @littlepadika-main @sirowsky @dornish-queen @something-tofightfor @supernaturalgirl @insomniamamma @a-pirate-my-hearties @prolix-yuy @fuckyeahdindjarin