Kinda Figuring That Out @f1gur1ng1t0ut - Tumblr Blog

like breaking up..

Reboud Bound..

After being a grade A bitch to my boyfriend, he said some things that makes me lose hope and feelings for the relationship.

First he is quitting lacrosse, and I dont know what it is about sports but I need the guy to play one. I dont want him slumming it out smoking and working all the time.

Second, he wants to work more than he already does, and because of his work schedule I have to inconvience myself to see him. Now with more hours, I dont know how it will work.

I just dont see this relationsip working much more, I want more and he wants comfort and usual. I just dont think he brings me anything from the relationship. But he brings me so much as a person and I dont want to lose that.

I also know I am going to want a new relationsip, and I got a tiktok saying im going to be getting into a new relationsip and its going to be all I wanted. I need that, I cant get that from jonah, and I would feel terrible moving on fast.

I need to figure this out ASAP.

Current Status: Confused & Falling out

Speaker Blasting: Solo Dance, Martin Jenson

#fallingout

Not Living Up To Yolo Expectations

Ive spent my entire high school career hating it. The only time I enjoyed high school was the start of freshman year when I had it all, boys, friends, popularity.

I have none of that anymore, well to an extent- I have few friends, Im only known by people, and boys.. that is something I am trying to figure out where I stand.

My biggest fear in life is looking back and having my life not be worth it, I dont want to live blandly because I have no other chances.

I romantacize movies too much, I want to live in them and I just cant.

I am 17 years old and feel like Ive done nothing. 17 is old enough to start truly experiencing life. I want to go crazy- full wild child mode. Because next thing I know my childhood is going to be over, I have less than a year to make shit happen.

Current Status: In desire

Speaker Blasting: Brand New, Ben Rector

studentlifeproblems

Getting Out

I cannot wait for college, it is the only thing keeping me motivated. I just want to be able to experience life finally on my terms, for the most part I guess. Still I can discover new friends and live a fun life finally.

Im just scared because I can never keep friends, I dont know if its just because im surrounded by the wrong people, or its me. Im pretty sure its both, I just think finally I will find my people. I just want to be popular and have fun but thats not in my coding I guess.

CHICAGO SUCKS, I hate it here and cant wait to get out.

Current Status: Daydreaming

Speaker Blasting: Keep Your Head Up, Andy Grammer

New Do

I really want to completely change and redefine myself before I have to head back to the hell hole I call a school next september for my senior year. I already know I wont have friends, so if im going there and talking to no one, I at least want people talking about me. I want to be THAT senior you see in the halls, the one who even though internally has no idea what shes doing, externally looks like she has it all figured out.

I planed to workout and get a killer bod and dye my hair dark brown, but now Im considering a full new hairstyle. Thing is I like my hair how it is, but I know I could be way hotter if I figure out the perfect style. I have time to figure that out though, because I want to do it right before school starts so no one recognizes me, the plan is to keep it on the downlow.

Just look at these styles, theyre hot and could make me look amaing- https://www.tiktok.com/@plscomeupwithauser/video/6930976778987113733?sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6922175137283458565&is_from_webapp=v1&is_copy_url=0

https://www.tiktok.com/@3vad1va0/video/6931098014241017093?sender_device=pc&sender_web_id=6922175137283458565&is_from_webapp=v1&is_copy_url=0

Current Status: In need of change

Speaker Blasting: Youll always find your way back home, Miley Cyrus

Can I Just Be A Normal 17 Year Old

There are so many things I want to do, which nearly half include finally getting my license. But that had been back tracked after my mom decided she might force me to wait till I can get it on my own, at 18. I am a 17 year old with a car and no lincense. It blows. I just want to be able to go do stuff at any moment, and a car would allow that.

I also wish covid would blow over because my mom said shed finally let me go out and do what I want, but I literally cant because of this god forsaken virus.

And another thing, Ive never snuck out, I live in chicago and have to take the train everywhere, it is too dangerous for me to do that late, also I have nowhere to go. I want to just one day have to go for a D.A or something and have to sneak out, but even that I cant do because I have a fucking boyfriend, who I sometimes am not even sure I want to be with. My life just blows, I dont have a normal one.

Current Status: Unsure

Speaker Blasting: Powerful, Ellie Goulding & Major Lazer

Really? Only one..?

As I sit here its 12:40 am, and I am too high off just one hit. In attempt to try and explain christian praying to my boyfriend on facetime, I ended up reenacting a confession.. While whispering. Random and uncalled for? Yes, but what else do you expect me to do when Im grounded strictly to just a macbook. One good came from this grouding and that is this blog.. Youre welcome

And yes I may be asking myself W.W.J.H.S and writing what I think she would say, but in my defense I just needed a jumping off point.

So far its working, right?

Status Update: absent from reality

Speaker Blasting: Hate or Love It, Cliff

Continually Turning Characters Into My Personality

I started to rewatch Awkward and it inspired me to create a blog. I need some haven in my life as I dont like turning to others often.

Obvi as a GenZ I have no idea how to start a blog, so tumblr was my best option.

Hi, im just figuring it out, and this will be my journey in doing so

#awkward

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