Fuck that
I need love
Misplaced Lens Cap

oozey mess
RMH

blake kathryn

JVL

No title available
No title available

titsay

Janaina Medeiros

Origami Around

★
art blog(derogatory)

Product Placement
Cosimo Galluzzi

PR's Tumblrdome
d e v o n
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

Andulka
taylor price

ellievsbear
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Germany

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States

seen from Türkiye
seen from Germany
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States

seen from Spain

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
@f6lth
Fuck that
I need love
Joy has a habit of returning
~way too optimistic for my liking
To be loved it to be known
To be loved is to be seen
To be loved is to be heard
To be loved it to be appreciated
How life feels lately
I love you… up until you open your mouth
I love you.. up until you spew that mysoginistic deranged vomit at me
I can’t blame you
For you have been brain washed
Power washed by the norms of a gossiping society
A limiting society
A fearful society that would rather hide behind its thumb than face the centuries of double standards it has in place
I love you… but how can I reveal to you my train of thought
When every carriage you’ll step into would be a shock bigger than the last
When I know for a fact that you would instinctively throw yourself off than get more than half way through the ride
This train churns and burns black coaled smoke
Toxicity of generations that I’m trying to free myself of
Toxicity deeply rooted into the brains and hands and love of those who have raised me
I say I’m breaking cycles
But honestly
It feels like on I’m on this train forever
Alone
And going in never-ending dizzying circles while I inhale this soot that you help burn
26 nov 24 // 6:40
I remember playing with a paintbrush
Helping A fix something as usual
Ironic how he could never fix anything but always had a hammer, brush and nails near by
I brush the soft hair of the brush against my fingertips and fixate on the motion
Grab the cutter and get a small chunk of bristles through the shears and chop!
The pressure on the handles and in my palms dissipates
I am left with fine golden hairs littering the front of my pants and the floor beneath me
I collect them and bind them into another mini brush
One for me. To keep nearby in case the urge to fix something comes by
He… well you… A -
See the miserable choice at fun I had chosen
And a brand new golden brush missing teeth
You yell. Naturally
And I make a run for the “not to be lived in” living room
I sit on a couch, in the dark, crying for what feels like forever while hearing your continued rant
L comes in to find me
Bundled on the couch all 10 years of life me
Drowning in words and salty tears
I think I feared the disappointment
Being less than the perfect child that I am propped to be
I don’t know
I still do
Still am
5 dec 24 // 19:23
Am I crazy?
I dig after and plow
Waiting for dirt on my nails
Searching for dirt under these nails
8 dec 24 // 2:46
I feel dumb
I feel stupid
I feel used
And taken advantage of
I feel like I’ve poured
I’ve splatted and scattered myself
To be met with disrespect
With craziness
Maybe I’m too accepting
Maybe I’m too understanding
I still worry about your comfort and well being
When I’m in the furthest depths of uneasiness
I make you immune to my sadness
Immune to my pain and hurt
I make you make me unhappy
This falls on me
I dedicated so much of myself to you
I gush over you
Only for you to give me percentiles of your attention and affection
I can teach you many things
I can be the guide the advisor and the shoulder
But I CANNOT baby sit you
I cannot handle ALL your emotions
Navigate YOUR feelings for you while still trying to process the whole load
I WILL NOT BE DISRESPECTED
I REFUSE TO BE LIED TO
I DENY ALL WAVES OF LOVE FOR THE SAKE OF CONVENIENCE
Because I throw all of my self
Dive in head first
Rank top 1
Just to be crowned
“Most likely to look like an idiot”
22 dec 2024 // ???
My drinks spill on me while on you
I think it’s okay to take a sliver of someone and hold on to that. Especially if that’s all you have.
When we first were married, I’d come home and open the door, but just a crack.
I’d wait… Listen for your footsteps.
I’d push open the door a little more, and I’d get a glimpse of your hair. Long and loose.
I would dole out to myself little helpings of you, like a kid with dessert.
The kind of man I had become.
Married to a woman like you. Coming home to you.
Other men, I felt sorry for. They had nothing to work for. Nothing to fight for.
They didn’t get to have you.
~ FW from the HMT
Writers block, or whatever the fuck you call it, has gotten the better of me
I have not been able to pour the way I used to, to revel in the details of my fears, my agonies, my woes and misfortunes
I internally held on to so much, not being able to spill. Not being able to let these floods loose.
Now here they go bubbling up inside of me, up to my eyeballs and out. Onto paper that turns to mush. Turns into pure shit- for only me and a saddened relating few.
But I’m back- I think? I hope?
I’m back to long, and yearn, and hurt, and feel, and letter. Im back to dot the i’s of every synonym of pain I spell.
Heavily invested in the idea that expressing your feelings is only a good idea when they’re to be heard by people who GENUINELY! WANT!! to be your comfort and safe space