Mars

I’m Mars I go by she/they I’m bisexual And also this is my safe place

[fa1ry10ver]

My mom is soon to get a divorce with my step dad, he did some really bad stuff I am happy she is leaving the toxic relationship, but it still hurts to she her hurt. I love her so much. It hurts to see her in so much pain.

[fa1ry10ver]

<3 Trigger Warning

I hope that everyone is doing well. I am struggling. I was with someone and I had a reason to keep fighting and to keep living when i was with them, but now they are gone. It has been 1 week and 2 days. It hurts really bad to not have them anymore. I relapsed becs of it. I have wrote everyone I know a goodbye letter. I really fear that i wont be able to make it out of this one this time. And it hurts and its scary. I just want things to be okay again. 

[fa1ry10ver]

:<

i relapsed. Its bad. I was clean for a month now back to the start 1 day clean.

[fa1ry10ver]

nvm, Im still not clean

[fa1ry10ver]

:<

i relapsed. Its bad. I was clean for a month now back to the start 1 day clean.

[fa1ry10ver]

I’m I that hard to be friends with?

I’m afraid to tell you how i really feel. I want to sleep forever and never wake up. I want everyone to forget me. I want to be invisible. I draw with silver and it comes out red. I don’t get what is wrong with me. I am broken I am hurt and i cant get out.

[fa1ry10ver]

EDT

I just want to share my time zone is Eastern Daylight Time. So right now for me it is 1:16pm Friday March 19th 2021 :)

[fa1ry10ver]

My Name

I haven't told anyone that i know that i wold like to go by mars and someone on tumblr just used the name i like to be called by, It made me so happy. Do y'all have any ideas on how to tell people i go by mars now? Thank you all for using my new name <3 I love you all

[fa1ry10ver]

food

I want a monster energy and gummy worms, Oh my comfort food 

[fa1ry10ver]

Coping

Its been hard for me a lot more than usual. Like i have been fine for a long time nothing traumatic has happened to me since last year when my mom told me to go live with my dad. I’m holding on to it thought like I miss her. I do get to see her but not as much as i would like. My dad dose not want me near her. Like yeah i get it she was bad. Shes doing so much better now thought. He dose not see it thought all he wants to see is the bad her to see the non-good. My dads house is toxic and i cant get out. I really need out. Like he hasn't yelled at me for about 1 month now, but i’m so scared he will do something, I want to run away. My house seems fine when you come in but when it is just me and my dad its crazy. I want to leave  want to get out, He dose not believe my mental illness. He dose not think my depression and anxiety is real. I have been having a hard time. I think i suffer with depolarization and I told my grandma and she was like “Not every thing needs a diagnoses” like i know that, but it hurt me when she said that it makes me fell like everything i have and do is fake. like i don’t matter, I know that she is only trying to help me but she hurt my feelings and i love her. I just don’t feel like my self a lot. I’m not my old self anyone and i need help. I just don’t know how to ask toxic people.

[fa1ry10ver]

Things have been really hard after the loss of my last friend:/