Hi! I'm Faenar!! Except a lot worst and like the bad part of Faenar and also a lot more pathetic and a loser and stuff basically
If you know me irl........................idk just shhh don't tell anyone about this it'd be real akward n uncomfy
This is going to act as a diary where I write down things I did in the day, interactions I had, things that bother me, vents, or anything I wouldn't want to post on my main blog.
Although this isn't technically a vent account, a lot of things I post could be seen as such. Sorry!!
⚠️Trigger warnings⚠️
(There will be warning in the tags of each post)
On this page, I may discuss topics of:
Self harm/thoughts of it
Suicide/thoughts of it
Sexual abuse, or just abuse in general. Probably mostly sexual.
Disordered eating things
Uncomforatable topics in general!!
Among other things. Please take care of yourself and do not use any of these posts in a way that would be harmful to you, the reader!! (As in don't do what I do kids. Lol)
All of my info can be found on my main blog, @faenar
I can be... unfiltered on here. If any of this feels targetted at anyone in particular, it almost definitely is not. Most of the things I post on here will be about irl problems, or things that have nothing to do with Tumblr. I love you moots
I don't mean to bother people or offend anyone with my posts. If I say anything like offensive and don't realize it please tell me, chances are I did not know and didn't intend to be rude or insensitive.
This blog might be insufferable to read through I'm sorry. I just want to make this so I don't have to post this type of thing on my main blog.
I'm pretty sure this is a coping mechanism?
If anyone ends up reading this, just know, you are not oblieged to comfort or console me. It is always VERY VERY appreciated, but I understand that I'm a difficult person to talk to.
Hi guys waht the fuck am I meant to do when my cousin that said he had a crush on me texts me
Bro I don't wanna talk to your bitchass 😭😭
"How is school" It's great hey here's a reminder that you're a freak who messages your younger cousins telling them that your jacking it and also you had or have a crush on said younger cousin by the way so uhm hey what the fuck why are you talking to me how are you not ashamed
the urge to get better but then the urge to get worse GUH
I have like mostly the whole house to myself so I could either 1 make myself a really good breakfast and have a good start to the day!! or 2 just have tea
HI!!!!! I didn't upload for like two days. Sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I haven't had anything too big to say. But I am here with stuff!! Boring or not!!
I did a quiz on the countries of Africa today..... I fear I may get shot down by my teacher. Im mostly confident on 18 of em, but those other 2..... I LITERALLY MADE UP COUNTRIES. I AM SO ASHAMED 😭 but whatever I think I did alright
APPERENTLY I'M FREAKING BAD AT READING EMOTIONS. In my English class we're reading a novel and the main character is autistic, and he struggles to understand emotions and read faces. My teacher had us do a test to see how many we couod get correct. I GOT 7/20. THATS 13 WRONG. WHAAATT????? I GOT THE WORST GRADE IN THE CLASS!!! EVEEYOEN ELSE WAS LIKE "THIS IS SO EASY!!" NO ITS NOOTTTT!!!
I joined SADD today!! (Students Against Destructive Decisions!!!) That's like. Amazing for me. Since I'm usually so socially anxious. But I felt alright today!!!! I wasn't that scared!! I'm gonna try to convince my friend to join.......... I'll go text him once I've written this stuff down
I freaking love my geometry class. It's so epic. The teacher is very kind, and we're learning things that I understood ahen I was like. Seven. So it's not hard for me. I explained how to solve some sort of equasion (equation? equazion?) in class today and my teacher was SO HAPPY. SHE WAS LITERALLY BEAMING. She kept me after class to tell me how awesome I am.
Yesterday, on my walk home, I found a senior's parking pass!! Today I saw the vice president in the hallway and I was like here idk what to do with it. Then later in the day I was called down the the office. I was SO SCARED. But the guy at the desk was like aee you t......... uhh.h..................... FAENAR? (THAT'S DEF WHAT I SAID)
I was like yes! He gave me a card that was acknowleging that I did a cool thing!! Then I got a piece of candy :3 Epic.
I got an 80 ON MY FREAKING EARTH AND SPACE SCIENCE QUIZ. I'm genuinly mad at myself for that, because I know I could have done better. But it's not really a big deal I guess, I'm in the adjustment period. Now I know to check my work....... Ugh. I probably should've just done it in the first place 😭😭
Ooh, ome more thing before I end this... Does anybody know how to understand crushes? I think I might have one... but then again idk it could just be like... me being grateful for a friend who actually likes me!!! Idk. Please message me if you have advice!!!
This morning, I woke up very sleepy, due to the fact I went to bed reeeally late. I didn't want to get out of bed but I made myself.
I brushed my hair, then my teeth, then i ate a few ice cubes before I was off to school.
School was uneventful. I was very dislleased to learn that I've gotten a fucking 80 on my first earth and space science quiz because I forgot to write a stupid negative sign. Fuck you scientific notation.
Everything after school was cancelled because of the fact that there could be a murderer in my town. I was not directly affected by this, because I don't have any after school activities yet. But I was annoyed by the long line of cars picking up children. My mom was late to pick me up.
My mom had an interview today. She is going to start working away from home, and she will be managing someone's house. I'm scared.
I am also scared cause of the murderer.
I got home and did some homework. After homework I played a round of peak and died in the srcond biome. Then I passed out in my mom's bed.
When I woke up, I was offered dinner, which I declined. That brings me to now, in my room, writing this out.
tw ED, incst, i dont know weirdos i guess and bad spelling becausr im freaking oyt
Dear diary
Hi it's midnight snd im yweaing the fuck out i dont even know whats happening
im really sick of my brother calling me a fatass i dont even know why he started doing that but it wasv when i was originally getting better about my eating habits and stuff
now its onlyngettingnworse and everyone is being meaner and meaner amd my brothers lime hate me for some reason i domt know whst i did but eevryone is clearly mad at me andni dont even knonw what to do
im also really fucking creeped out bevause i am somehow a genhine magnet for freaks and weirdos and for some reason they all like love me amd jts so gross and i dont even want to talk about this but i cant tell anyone becasue theyre gonna think im really weird but now im saying this and people are gonna see it and they arent going to want to br my frkend anymore because somehow i omly attract old creepy men amd people who are related to me amd people who want to make fuckimg cults about me and its all so bad and im so uspet and i wish people actuslly liked me i wish normal epople liked me and it wasnt just sick fucking freaks
if somebody texts me "hey" one more fucking time i am seriously going to lose my shit oh my god never say that to me i willfucoing KILLL MYYSEELFFF FHHHH MYY GOOODDDDSBWJDJDJBFBXFJKSKR
i found this at the movie theater. i could not bring him home
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