bf!jeonghan x virgin!reader (first person pov) summary: you've been dating yoon jeonghan for almost 8 months, hoping and praying that maybe he would finally take the next step in your (first ever) relationship. to your utter exhaustion, he hasn't. you decide to confront him on his "lack of lust" and well... not everything is as it seems. warnings: intense fluff, smut (MDNI), first person pov, virgin!reader, fingering, oral (f receiving for the first time), breast play, jeonghans an absolute sweetheart, so that's also a major warning, mentions of insecurity due to being a virgin.
I shouldn't say anything... right?
I pause outside the laundry doorway. I've been pacing in his bedroom for the last hour, unsure of whether to take the next step or not because I might be about to throw away my entire (and my one and only) relationship.
God someone please help me.
I take a quiet breath, knowing that I need to talk to Jeonghan. We've been dating for nearly 8 months and he not once has let us go past making out.
In the beginning, it was actually really beneficial on my end because I was a nervous wreck constantly wondering if "today was the day." But now, it's been nearly 3 months of absolute torture, hoping and praying that he would initiate something. Anything! My body was practically screaming.
Today's make out on the couch started like any other: we talk, one of us looks too long at the others lips and then boom we're not talking anymore. I was literally reaching for my shirt when Jeonghan stopped us with a kiss to my nose.
"I think the dryer just went off. You need to use it right?" He had questioned as he straddled me, a carefree look on his face— but I swear he was having trouble breathing.
"No, I-“
"I'll go grab it!" He had gotten up with a quick flash of an innocent smile, and sauntered across the living room like the disgustingly hot man that he is. The heavy ragged breath I released came from a place of disappointment rather than pleasure... and I was going to lose my mind.
"Jeonghan." I call softly, leaning against the doorframe.
"Mm, love?" He hums in question, removing my favorite sweater of his from the dryer.. Wish I could rip it off of him— did I say that?
"I.. I have a quick question." I can feel my heart beating loudly in my ears... I'm going to be confrontational. I can do this. I'm a strong independent woma-
He glances at me with the softest and most curious eyes i've ever seen in my life and the look on his face is pure torture... I'm going to die today, actually. I try my best to remind myself that he's not going to break up with me over something as silly as calling him out on his lack of lust towards me...... right? There are worse things I could be asking him.
He obviously notices my hesitance because he stands a little bit straighter, tilting his head in curiosity. "You good?"
"What?" I jump, blinking before nodding rapidly. "Yeah I'm good!"
He stares at me incredulously for a moment, a ghost of a smile casted on his lips before he bends over and grabs more laundry from the dryer. He doesn't push if I ever feel like I don't want to talk about something… because he's perfect... aside from the "not enough intimacy" part… and his obsession with relentless teasing.
I have to ask him. I have to do it or else resentment builds and all that stuff I read on reddit will come true about hatred and awful sex and god i want to do anything but have this conversation, but—
"Are you not sexually attracted to me?"
The second I absolutely blurt like a buffoon, Jeonghan pauses as a pair of socks fall from his hands. He side-glances at me, staying bent in half for a moment and I briefly wonder if that hurts or not before he stands slowly, opening his mouth and closing it.
"Wh.. what?" He stares at me and discards the clothes in his arms on the top of the dryer.
He definitely wasn't expecting this... makes sense. I probably could've said it differently but ya know what, it's too late to turn back now.
"You can be honest." I add, and curse myself for sounding a little bit shyer... independent woman be damned, because the utter confusion on his face is wrecking me.
"I'm sorry-" He blinks, his mouth opening to say something else before blinking a few more times. "Did you ask if...?"
I want to smack him when he stops talking again and confusingly stares at me.
Strong independent woman.
"If you're not sexually attracted to me... it's okay if you aren't." The dumbfounded look on his face is making me rush towards an explanation. "I just wanted to ask so that I-“
"Wait wait wait wait—" His head is shaking as he closes his eyes, taking a few steps forward before looking at me with cinched brows. If I wasn't already in trouble, his proximity is making this so much worse.
"When—" He shakes his head. "How do you think I'm not sexually attracted to you?"
Think. Think. Not know.
I stare at him quietly for a moment and his eyes are trained on mine, his mouth still fallen open as his lips twitch into an almost awkwardly confused smile. Even in moments like these I can't look away from his fucking mouth, god get a hold of yourself. It's almost as if he has no clue what I'm talking about... maybe he doesn't... am I defying the fact that this is my first relationship and maybe I just don't know how timing works?
"I- I thought..." I start, my voice trailing off along with my confidence.
"You thought?"
"Yeah I did."
He laughs breathlessly. "Thought what, Y/n?"
"You know...?"
"No," Another beat and he takes another step. "I actually can promise you that I don't."
"You didn't— I thought maybe you didn't want to be physical or take the next step..." My tone is shaky and curses my heightened emotions. "Which is fine, but I deserve to know-*
"Y/n." He cuts me off, his lips quirking into a smile of disbelief, shaking his head softly. It might just be in my imagination but it's as if his eyes have grown gentler, and he's walked past the discarded dropped sock now... which is a perfect representation of my soul.
"You can be honest." I add quietly.
His voice is gentle when he responds, like he knows that I'm exceptionally fragile right now because of course he does. I'm touch deprived, lustful and absolutely losing my ever loving mind.
"Love….. Why would you think-"
"You haven't initiated anything or taken it past kissing, Jeonghan. And anytime that we're close to crossing that line you always stop us over something stupid... like- like laundry and 'oh my god we forgot to turn the stove off' when I know we didn't! What else am I supposed to think?"
There it is. My deep rooted insecurity that he wasn't into me physically. That my first relationship ever was never going to progress and he didn't like me the way I thought he did. Reddit was my source of conviction.... which is almost as embarrassing as the tears beginning to brim beneath my eyes.
He blinks for a moment, just staring at me before his smile drops and a dawning look crosses his features. Is he seriously just putting this together?
"Y/n."
His voice is strained as he looks at me, forcing a swallow before he steps a bit closer to me. I hold his gaze and I swear I can see the utter regret erupting in his eyes.
"It's not because I'm not attracted to you... believe me, that is not the reason." His mouth quirks. "It's actually the exact opposite- god, l'm- I should've been honest."
I search his eyes, and his sudden silence has me opening my mouth to say something, but he speaks instead.
"I'll explain—" The breath he takes is a deep one, his eyes looking up to the ceiling as if the popcorn surface would have all of the answers for him. His skin is soft in the lighting and it's still taking everything in me to not jump the man and focus on his words.
"This is my fault... but I know that I'm your first boyfriend. Your first relationship, your first everything." His eyes meet mine with sincerity. "Which I am honored to be that for you. More than you will ever know. I mean.. Just the thought of someone else being your first makes me want to rip my hair out of my head."
My stomach warms.
"But with that comes wanting to make things right for you. I didn't want to scare you or make you uncomfortable- so I thought I would wait until you initiated things but... that wouldn't work either."
Huh?
He pauses, taking a deep breath as if to hype himself up. "Every time we kiss I get a hard on, Y/n. I'm at the stage where just kissing you has the potential to turn me on fast, and I knew that I couldn't force something onto you that wasn't your problem... especially when you've never experienced something intimate with someone before.” His apologetic eyes meet mine. “I was embarrassed and horrified that I would scare you away."
I scoff gently. "Before you left the couch earlier, we only kissed for like a singular minute."
"Yeah, love... I know." He nods with a devastating smile. "You kiss me once and I'm gone."
Holy shit.
He didn't want to scare me off... or push me into something I wasn't ready for. I wouldn't have expected this from him, especially since he was usually a tease and loved to watch me squirm. He should've told me. About 3 months ago is the moment I hit my limit of self control— I would've helped him with his "problem."
“You could’ve told me.” My voice is soft as I glance at the dryer, avoiding his eyes.
“I should’ve, yes.” He nods, reaching for my hand with loose fingers. “But you also could’ve told me that you wanted to take that next step… I would’ve given you anything you wanted.”
I meet his gaze and there’s nothing but warmth in it. No usual teasing glint, just complete transparency and a hint of regret still dancing within those dark eyes… and god I could crumble.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say something.” I whisper.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say something… I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He responds softly, taking another step towards me as his fingers interlace with mine. I can smell the fresh detergent gripping to the shirt he’s wearing and I suddenly feel a little too exposed.
He knows now. God… now what? I didn’t think this far. Do I kiss him? Do I let this go now and let it play out? What if I’m actually not ready for it… no that’s stupid. I am. But what if—
He dips his head a little to catch my wandering eyes and suddenly that infamous small smirk raises onto his lips. He sucks his teeth.
“Yaaaahh… shy now?” His laugh makes me want to crawl into the dryer and spin myself out of my misery.
“No.” Lies.
He smirks and I roll my eyes, turning to move out of the doorway but he drops my hand only to grab my arm. I practically fall over when he pulls me back towards him and oh, now the fresh detergent smell is even more prominent and I swear if I get one step closer I might end up coming untouched. He’s smiling softly with the most gentle eyes before he runs a finger over the skin of my arm.
“Where are you going?” I can hear the playful lilt in his voice as he tilts his head.
“I don’t know.” I answer honestly and he dips forward in laughter, his forehead resting on my shoulder. I can’t help but join him in his fit, my body shaking with his as I soak in the sound of him. I could stay just like this for hours, just holding him and laughing with him and I swear I would be as content as I possibly could be… but my contentment is short lived when I feel his head shift and his lips touch the skin of my neck.
Oh god.
My eyes flutter, my hand tightening on his shoulder when he kisses my skin, the softness of his lips leaving goosebumps in their wake as he trails up to just below my ear. I stare at him when he pulls back, and his smile deepens as he grabs my waist and twists us so that my butt is against the dryer, before dipping in to kiss my lips.
“Y-your clothes…” I whisper against his mouth and his teeth nip on my lower lip. Holy…
“I don’t care about the clothes.” He responds, his hands slipping beneath my (his) t-shirt to touch the skin of my lower back and I nearly whimper at the warmth. “You wear them more than I do anyway.”
I smile against him, knowing that he totally has a point before his hands drag down to the backs of my thighs and suddenly I can barely think anymore. I yelp when he lifts me up, placing me on top of the dryer as he stands between my legs. The warmth of the dryer underneath me is comforting, as is the softness of his hands holding my hips when he opens his mouth against mine, deepening our kisses. I have to grip the fabric of his shirt like a lifeline when his tongue brushes mine.
“Hannie..” God I sound out of breath… he’s kissing me like he always has yet this feels entirely different. It feels ridiculously good.
“Mmh?” He hums, kissing my cheek before running his lips back down my neck, wrapping his arms around me to hold me closer. When I don’t respond he leans back a little, his nose touching mine as he looks at me with heavy lidded eyes. “You’ll tell me to stop if you feel uncomfortable, right?”
I breathe heavily and my heart almost stops beating in my chest. But I nod, because it’s the truth.
He bread-smiles at me before eyeing a strand of hair and gently moving it behind my ear. The next time his eyes meet mine, there’s so much warmth in them that I swear the heat I feel between my legs is not from the dryer I’m sitting on. I look at the mole on his right cheek, touching it with one of my fingers and his eyes run over my face quietly before he nips at my fingers, smiling.
“Hey!” I whine, laughing gently as his eyes crinkle– but my laughter immediately freezes when I notice that his fingers have slipped into my sleep shorts on either side of my hips. He pulls down gently before his eyes dart between my lips and my eyes.
He’s distracting me. Making me laugh so that he can move forward without overwhelming me. I love him so much.
He raises his head and eyebrows, mocking my expression of shock before he grins. “Can I take these off?” I nod, but my heart rattles in my chest at the idea of me baring myself for him… even if I’ll have one layer of fabric between us first, it’s… a lot. He hums, rubbing his nose against mine. “You sure?”
“Yes.” I say before thinking because I know I want this. Nerves and all. His lips form a devastating smile before he tugs at my waistband, helping me rock side to side to get it down my hips and off my legs.
Holy… this is happening. I’ve never done more than kiss someone, and I’m finally about to experience something I've been dreaming of for years. My throat tightens a bit and I look at Jeonghan with a smile that’s almost in disbelief.
He tosses my shorts to the side and smirks as his hands run up my legs, over my thighs, to settle back on my waist when he stands up.
“Beautiful girl…” He whispers and his voice is like velvet, rubbing both thumbs against my hips as he nips the tip of my nose so gently.
I laugh again, forming words to aim back at him but his right hand lifts off of my hip and dips in between us, cupping me through my panties. The words die on my tongue.
My eyes meet his as the warmth envelopes me, my head dipping backwards involuntarily and Jeonghan smiles. And if eyes could glow… his would be glowing as he watches me. And oh my god… this is so much more intense when someone else is doing it to you. Whether he realizes it or not, he copies my facial expressions, obviously immersed. It’s like he’s reading every change in my expression like an addictive book: laughter, to shock, to pleasure when my eyebrows upturn slightly in response to him curling his middle finger, practically dipping into my folds through the fabric. A rushed breath escapes my mouth at the contact and he tilts his head with a smile.
I’m gonna die. And he’s going to enjoy it.
“Feel good?” He says the words so softly that if he weren’t right in front of my face I wouldn’t hear it. But I can feel his exhalations right on my mouth, his lips brushing mine between every slide of his finger.
I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die.
“I’m… shit..” I shiver when he cups me again. I can’t even form my words.
“You’re shit?” He laughs, scrunching his nose before he lets up and moves his hand back to my hip, pulling me forward a little. “Why would you say that about yourself?”
I can’t tell if the whimper I release is frustration from his teasing, or from the fact that he stopped touching me.
“Jeonghan..” I warn, my breathing heavy.
“Hm? I’m just trying to stop your self deprecation, baby." He smirks, skimming his fingers against the skin of my thighs.
“I can’t speak when you’re-“ He muffles my words with his lips, kissing me softly.
“When I what?” He asks, kissing me again. Twice. Three times. I can’t even remember what I was saying by kiss number four when he slides his fingers back between my legs to rub me softly through the fabric.
I also can’t form a pout anymore, the feeling of being touched for the first time overwhelming every nerve in my body and my forehead rests on his, my hands on his shoulders for purchase as my eyes flutter closed.
The next time he stops, I whimper out loud and he laughs gently, wrapping his hands around my thighs and lifting to carry me. My core sits heavy on his waist, but I feel something hard against me and I have to stifle a moan at the contact. And when he looks at me, his smile is warm in contrast to the horrible acts he’s been committing for the past ten minutes.
I take a moment to memorize his face, studying his soft eyes and his nose and those beautiful lips. God, I couldn’t be luckier. Honestly. I lean in to kiss him, opening my mouth for him.
He breathes against my mouth as the world tilts and suddenly my back meets the covers of his bed. After placing a few more soft kisses on my lips he moves down, kissing my neck.
I am going to die.
“I.. I can’t breathe.” I say truthfully, huffing out a laugh as he sucks on my skin. He smiles against me and lifts his head to meet my eyes.
“You okay?”
“I’m really okay, it’s just..”
“Intense.” He finishes, grinning when I nod in agreement. “It’s okay, love… It’s normal to be overwhelmed.”
He shrugs a little before glancing between my eyes. He’s quiet before a gentle smile graces his features. I meet him with a questioning gaze.
“What?”
“You already look fucked out.”
I turn beet red, smacking his chest. “I do not!”
“Yes you do!” He fucking laughs. “It’s hot, don’t worry! I might be the one who passes out just from looking at you.”
I cover my face with my hands and he carefully moves them away, laughing at my shyness before he kisses me again and wastes no time moving down. He kisses my sternum through his shirt, running his hands up my sides before he notices that I’m totally not wearing a bra. He blinks, gazing up at me for a split second, before continuing his descent.
He kisses the skin of my stomach, lifting the t-shirt just enough to expose one breast. My eyes can’t meet his anymore… I’ve never felt so exposed in my life. I feel him tap my side and I glance down for a split second, which happens to be the moment he moves up to suck my nipple into his mouth.
I immediately moan and god how is he so good at this? I reach for his hair, my fingers locking around the strands. To make matters worse (or better), he laughs against my skin, obviously enjoying my sensitivity. The moment I hear the soft pop of him releasing my breast I look down at him, and at the same time he looks up at me with a charming smile before shifting over to suck the other one. Then down to kiss my stomach.
Down, down, down…
He stops and hovers in front of my panties, glancing up at me before he curls his fingers at the waistband.
“Can I?” He asks, his voice lower than usual and I nearly whimper at the sound. Since when did his voice become hotter than it already was? His question has a very obvious answer, but I nod anyway to appease him.
He smiles and kisses my hip and I swear I don’t have any control over the small thrust my hips give at the contact. Good lord, I can’t even handle myself now.. what’s it gonna be like when he-
He drags my panties down, rolling a bit on his side to make room as I lift my legs to help him. He glances up at me and takes it off in one go, smiling so softly. Damn, how many times has he done this? He doesn’t even need to look.
My inexperience also shows when he begins to look down and I stop him with a tight grip on his shoulder. He meets my gaze, but I can’t say anything. What am I supposed to say? Hey sorry boy I’ve been dating for 8 months that I’m very much in love with, but I can’t let you see my vagina.
He reaches for my hand, my plaguing thoughts obviously written all over my face. Slowly, he scoots up to lay on his side beside me.
He kisses my temple with the softness of clouds and his other hand reaches to rest right below my navel. I can hear his own labored breathing, even though I’m the only one that’s being touched. “Y/n…”
I turn my head to look at him. He’s smiling softly, studying my face and I nearly want to cry.. The look of utter joy yet concern on his face.. He’s so… cute. And hot? He’s everything.
After a moment of quiet our gazes lock.
“Can I touch you?” He asks. I take a deep breath, staring at him like a deer in the headlights. Please, yes. I want nothing more, but my mouth is stuck open like an idiot. His lips quirk a bit. “… Please?”
God I didn’t even answer.
I nod, but the words out of my mouth are. “I can’t think straight.”
“I can tell..” He laughs and the sound is like home, warming me from head to toe. And despite my nerves, the feeling of his thumb against my lower abdomen is making me want to rip the shirt off his back. In contrast to my utter lust, his eyes are gentle and understanding. “It’s okay. You don’t have to think…”
My eyes flutter when he leans forward, whispering softly against the skin of my ear. “Just let me take care of you, baby… Can you do that for me?”
For fuck sake. I’m a goner.
I’ve waited twenty five years for this… to be wanted by someone, to be touched. Sitting here with him almost feels like a dream that I can't get too excited about. Maybe this was all in my head? But he’s sitting beside me, very much real, with sparkling eyes and he tilts his head to reiterate his previous question. I breathe out, nodding in response and the smile that graces his features is enough to send a wave of warmth to my stomach.
“Look at me.”
I turn, glancing up at him as my head falls deeply back into the pillow and before I can even blink his fingers dip down and run between my folds.
Oh.
My mouth parts in response to his touch and there’s a look of pure adoration and awe on his face. No one prepared me for this moment… and at this point, despite my bitching and moaning for the last six years about being single, I couldn’t be more grateful that he was the first one to do this.
He runs his fingers up and down between my folds, gathering the moisture there before gliding back up to rub my clit. The sound that leaves me is quiet but broken and he leans forward to swallow it with his kiss. Which he gladly delivers before beginning a pattern of circles against my clit. A near laugh escapes me at the pleasure leaping across my skin, my eyes briefly meeting his as we share a smile before he’s moving to straddle me.
“I wanna see you, okay?” He says softly, and the only thing I can do is nod. I don’t have space in my brain to even worry anymore, not when he’s touching me like this. But I notice his appreciative smile before he continues his venture down, settling between my raised legs.
When he finally looks down he releases a small breath, his head leaning to the side to rest on the inside of my thigh. His eyes are focused, but a smile is evident as he continues to circle my clit. He’s practically drinking it in.
A soft whisper. “You’re so beautiful..” Before he’s nuzzling the skin of my thigh and placing a kiss there.
The feeling of his lips against my skin… I'm going to die today. I’m sure of it.
My hand is shaking a bit as I grasp the comforter, hoping to ground myself with the white cloth but Jeonghan is kissing down the inside of my thigh and his fingers are rubbing me with an intense skill.
Grounding be damned. He glances up at me when he reaches the apex of my thighs, a devastating smile gracing his lips as his hand stops its movements. I whimper out at the loss of contact but he’s quick to grab hold of both my hands. Is he trying to ground me? Or-
“Can I taste you, love?”
Nope. Definitely trying to kill me.
I choke out a laugh.
His smile only grows.
“You gotta stop asking me stuff like that.” I say breathlessly, thankful for a quick moment to breathe— or whatever it is I'm doing while this man is literally perched between my thighs.
“I’m being a respectful boyfriend, actually.” He quips, resting his head on my thigh again.
“You’re killing me here.”
“I’m killing you?” He laughs before squeezing my hands. “Y/N seeing you like this is…” His eyes roam over me with a look I’ve been craving from him for months. Absolute need. My mouth closes when he adds, “Let’s just say, you're not the only one dying. You're killing me."
I’m frozen for a moment, utterly destroyed, his words reaching deep into me. My core pulses and my hips lift of their own volition— and he smiles softly at the reaction. I would hide my face if he wasn’t gripping both of my hands.
I search for words. “See this is the shit you can’t keep sayin-“
But my words die off into a moan— a sound I haven’t heard come out of me and I would be embarrassed, but Jeonghan is licking a stripe straight through my folds. He starts low, before dragging it up and circling my clit with the muscle.
“Holy fuck..” I whimper out, my hands squeezing his. I feel him laugh against me when my hips stutter. He’s quick to release one of my hands and drag his arm across my waist, holding me still.
He licks my clit gently, over and over and over and my head is fully thrown back into the pillow now… this is unlike anything— this is everything. I’ve waited and waited and..
I look down, moaning quietly at the sight of him.. and for a moment, I smile at the pleasure— that is until he places his lips around my clit and sucks it into his mouth. God… This time, my moan is loud and I reach down with my now free hand to grip his hair.
He moans against me at the contact and I’ve officially lost my sanity.
“Jeonghan..” I whisper his name, running my hand through his hair, but he releases my other hand and I glance down when he raises his head.
“I’ll be so gentle, okay?” I give him a quiet look of question, but my words die on me when he shifts to get comfortable— one arm holding me down, the other repositioning so that his fingers are right at my core.
“Just tell me if you’re uncomfortable?”
I can’t even speak, or move— he’s not even asking to have actual intercouse, he’s just… asking to take care of me… to put my pleasure above his own and for a moment I can’t believe this is happening. That he’s mine. That this isn’t just a dream, and everything I’ve been waiting for is right before me. Everything I dreamed of having. My eyes water as I stare at him.
“Y/n..” His eyes are gentle and his arm wrapped around my stomach reaches up so he can cup my cheek. “You gotta tell me if it doesn’t feel good, okay baby?”
“I love you.” I whisper… god I'm being dramatic aren't I?
He stares at me for a moment, before a smile raises onto his perfect lips.
“I love you too… you okay?”
“Very.” I smile.
We share a soft, breathless laugh before he’s bringing his hand back down to hold mine. He tries again. “You’ll tell me if you’re uncomfortable, hm?”
I nod quickly.
And that’s enough for him.
He pushes one finger into me, and my mouth drops open. His cheek is laying against the skin of my thigh as he glances between my core and my face, drinking in every reaction from me. I stutter out a moan when he pushes it in gently, then pulls out a bit before repeating the movements.
He lets out a breathless huff, “You’re tight…”
See and that right there is exactly what he isn’t allowed to say because holy fuck..
I groan, my back arching a bit at his words.
He rubs my hand softly, stealing back my attention before adding another finger— this time it stings a little. He’s watching me closely and I wince a bit as he finally makes it through, stretching me.
“That’s it… relax for me..” He whispers, kissing my thigh. “God love, you’re so tight.”
I whimper when he stills his fingers to allow me to adjust. I immediately feel my face warm.. I was so obviously a virgin, and he knew this, but what if that’s a turn off for him? He obviously has to do extra work to even finger me, and he’s been reassuring me constantly and I haven’t even been able to pleasure him cause i’m too— “already fucked out” in his words.
“Sorry..” I whisper. “I’m trying to-“
“It’s perfect.” He cuts me off, meeting my gaze as he kisses down my thighs. “You’re beautiful and perfect, and I get to do this all myself.. I’m so lucky, baby..”
I’m about to protest but his lips latch onto my clit and suddenly his fingers are pushing deeper into me.
I cry out, gripping his hair as he pumps his fingers, unwinding every fragment of my sanity, my heart, my pleasure and god he’s good at this. I feel like I'm a thousand feet in the air as I whimper his name. He licks my clit in response, curling his fingers and I must've flown up into space because now I'm seeing stars.
My core pulses and when it does he lets out a whimper of his own-- which causes my core to pulse even harder.. god he’s… I can’t even think. My hips rock slowly as he fingers me, sucking my clit into his mouth and every round of all of this gets me closer and closer… the coil in me tightening and tightening.
It’s maddening.
“Jeonghan-“ I moan, my pitch rising.
He hums against me before raising his head. “Close?”
“Yeah..” I say breathlessly, and this jerk smiles before dipping back down to suck even harder.
I cry out, my legs shaking at the attention before he’s pumping his fingers harder into me too.. and suddenly it’s all too much.
The coil within me tightens hard before I’m in free fall. My moans fall from my mouth uncontrollably, and he’s licking me through the pulses before my hands push his head away from the overstimulation. He watches me come down, a look of pure awe on his face before my eyes squeezed shut. He rubs my hand, and his fingers stay still within me as I flutter around them. When my senses do come back to me.. a smile breaks onto my face.
“That… my god..” I manage to get out between breaths.
I hear him laugh, the hand holding mine reaches up to brush some hair out of my face. “I was thinking the same thing.” He responds, just as breathless as I am.
I open my eyes to meet his gaze… but a tear is halfway down his cheek. I’m more awake now, attempting to sit up but his strong hands hold me down.
“Wait wait-“ He laughs, wiping his tear away quickly before he’s rising to his knees. That’s when I notice that his fingers are still inside me. “This might sting a little bit, okay?”
I nod and he slowly pulls them out, my walls gripping tight and it does sting— a little more than the entry. I wince, and he winces with me, but once they’re out he’s scooting up the bed to lay beside me, wrapping an arm around my waist and holding his head up with the other. If he hadn’t been tearing up two seconds ago, I probably would be more appreciative of how attractive he looks right now.
“Why are you crying?” I whisper, reaching up to brush his cheek, but the tears are gone.
He smiles, shrugs before leaning down to kiss me. “You’re just pretty..” He whispers. “Watching you… coming undone because of me. It’s what I’ve wanted for a long time. And only I have had the honor to see it."
Our smiles mirror each other when he pulls away to lay his head down. A surge of gratitude washes over me... lying in his bed, post-orgasm... luckily I'm not dead. My breath is slowly coming back to me and for a moment I swear I could fall asleep until I realize that he’s rock solid beside me. I quickly glance down, sitting up a bit. “You-“
“No, no..” His arm tightens, laying me back down. “I just want to stay like this.”
“But-“
“Next time, okay?” He kisses my shoulder.
“Jeonghan-“
“Y/n…” He gives me a look as if to say: there’s no debate. And I shut my mouth. “This time was for you.. next time.. we can figure that out. You’re tired, let’s just rest.”
We’re quiet for a moment, basking in each other's skin and breath and sweat from the warmth shared between us. He kisses my nose a few times, my eyes fluttering before I'm breaking the silence again.
“I really should’ve said something a long time ago.” I say with a breathless laugh.
“I think this timing might have been perfect.” He responds, glancing up at the ceiling with a dumb smile on his face. Leave it to him to be optimistic about this whole situation… and convincing.
I hum in question. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. You told me that you’ve been wanting me to take that next step for months… I don’t think I’ve ever been so turned on in my entire life.”
We share a laugh, curling up against each other as the whirring of the fan begins to lull me off to sleep. Being held like this felt like something out of a movie… which was my primary source of romance for years upon years. He’s changed everything for me. Everything that I never thought would come true was finally coming to fruition– because of him.
“I love you.” I whisper.
“I love you too.” A vibration hums through his chest as my head rests on his skin.
“Oh and Hannie?”
I feel him glance down at me, lifting my chin with his finger.
“Hm?”
“That sweater you were taking out of the dryer earlier?” A slow smile spreads across my lips. “Wear that next time.”