#soobin smut

[bamgelically]

EPHEMERALLY YOURS ı 𝓞𝟏 ⧽ i could be a good mother, and i want to be your wife

──── ၇͜ᩘ 𔒌 ﹔ pairing — player!csb x pregnant!reader

SYNOPSIS ⧽ you were alone. alone and pregnant, no parents or friends to support you. whoever the father of your baby was, he wouldn’t bother to be in your life. with no money or a place to stay anymore, you’re faced with an opportunity to get the money you need. now, despite being surrounded by death, you meet a man who manages to make moments in a horrifying place something warm and tender.

WARNINGS squid game (two and three) au, reader is lightly based on junhee, but the plot that happens to her doesn’t actually happen to reader. ANGST, major character death, injuries, descriptive gore and harsh language, mentions of drugs, near death experiences, soobin being extremely loving since day one, hostile!reader (in a way), comfort/fluff, panic attacks, descriptive childbirth, falling in love/romance, death in general (it’s squid game c’mon..), ocs, horror settings, follows the same game and some events of s2-3 but not necessarily the same plotline, no bathroom brawl or lights out, child abandonment, thoughts about abortion, description of depression, miscarriages, mentions of illnesses and alcoholism, some idols are used as ocs and likely not accurate to their personalities, this is NOT fully focused on reader and soobin only it also explores the group dynamics so keep this in mind, slight transphobia nearing the end.

MDNI oral (fem receiving), public sex, creampie, p in v, unprotected sex (don’t!!), service top/soft dom soobin, missionary, fingering, petnames (sweet girl, baby, mama, etc.), safe words, body worship.

ᜆ wc ﹔ 38.9k

     BETRAYAL BURNED BITTER AND HEAVY on your tongue. You forced yourself to swallow it down alongside your clumping thoughts, the ones that ached and felt like salt rubbed in open, raw wounds that never closed since they were inflicted onto you. You should’ve expected it, as friendly as everyone is, deep down the true wish of one’s heart always wins. It isn’t about charisma, empathy, nor the empty words they say when they say they want you alive and well. Deep down, you all hoped the other would die. That was the true nature of this game.

Beomgyu’s life looked drained out of him. Ever since you came back to the main room, full of bunks with the lingering ghosts of people who were once here but weren’t anymore sat atop of them. They would just be taken and occupied by other players. The thought left you quite eerie despite the relief that burst through your chest when you saw Soobin was alive.

But not all of you left that room.

Your mind was haunted by the sobs and pleas Kai directed towards Beomgyu, who by now, hadn’t even dared to look at anyone else in the face. He was curled up against the cold wall, knees tucked into his chest as if he were a child all over again— one that waited for his mother’s comfort. But maybe Beomgyu wouldn’t even see his mother anymore.

You could tell that he was blaming himself, but when you opened your mouth to speak, you just shut it back. What would you even say? I’m sorry he died, he’s in a better place? 

What even is a better place?

What place could possibly be better than all of you leaving alive and together? You bit your lip, swallowing down your emotions in order to not let them flood you again. What was better than a tomorrow where all of you were together?

You weren’t sure when the lines between strangers and family blurred, tied and knotted together by the challenges and death. And yet, even as all of you mourned in silence, Beomgyu was carrying a heavier burden. He was closer to Kai more than anyone else was, and there wasn’t a moment where you hadn’t seen them apart. Most of all, the bright blue patch that was meant to secure his debts were paid off by the time he left burned through his tracksuit and into his skin. Like a choice that choked you and pushed your head underwater, one that crawled onto your skin and made home inside your skin until it took over your life.

All of you had cried long enough during the game, now all that was left was the grief.

"I hope we’ll be able to leave." Yeonjun’s voice was quiet, his body still tense from adrenaline. Eyes staring ahead and hardened like he had seen too much. "I really, really do. I don’t want any more of us to die."

"Maybe we will." Soobin’s eyes flickered from where he had been absentmindedly staring at the crowd. The guards hadn’t quite come in yet, you guessed, dealing with bodies was more complicated than coming to deal with a bunch of terrified players. "I counted the players by their patches—both sides. There’s fifty six blues and forty four reds."

"How do you know that’ll guarantee we’ll be able to leave after this voting?" Taehyun inquired, it was a fair enough point. You were outnumbered.

Soobin’s hand stopped the soothing movements on your side, he had been moving his thumb back and forth as if to tell himself that you were both still here. His hands refused to leave you ever since you two finally shared a kiss inside the mingle room.

"It looks like a big difference, but if you stop to think about it, it’s not that much." He paused, letting the words sink before continuing. "If twelve people change their minds, then we’ll already tie. And I’m sure that most people were terrified enough during mingle to change their minds."

"What guarantees that people on our side won’t change their minds?" Yeonjun asked.

"The cash prize is already very generous, since there are only a hundred of us left, it’s probably somewhere around thirty five million— something around that. It’s already good, and considering people were already voting to leave last round, I doubt they’ll go for a higher price when they were already trying to leave with a lower amount of money." Soobin explained, clearing his dried up throat.

Truly, what was more annoying than the expanding anxiety was probably how you weren’t constantly provided with water. No one was, because the games were about ‘equality.’

Pure fucking bullshit.

"Shouldn’t we try to go and convince the people on the other side, then?" Taehyun jerked his head towards the opposite side to yours, where all the others who planned to keep playing until they died whispered and talked in hushed voices like a plotting group of criminals.

Most of them probably were way past the average criminal, anyway.

The thought made your stomach twist into itself.

"No, it’s too dangerous." He wasn’t wrong— the people on the opposite side were borderline bloodthirsty. Without a doubt, they’d kill the people from their own side if it meant more money or living one more day. They’d just target all of you. 

They already had a bone to pick with some of you from last voting, you could tell.

"They’re all willing to play no matter what. If we go over there, they won’t take it as well as we mean to come across." Something seemed to flicker in Taehyun’s eyes during that moment, something no one really caught on. Your gut felt weird, something was off but you couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong.

Something almost like satisfaction.

"So we just stay here praying they’ll change their minds?" You bawled your hands into fists, rubbing away the forming sweat alongside the soiled fabric of your tracksuit pants. "What if we lose?"

Your voice cracked, feeling uneven at places where you couldn’t sustain it anymore. You really didn’t want anyone else to die—but you swallowed whatever you could down your dry throat. It felt like a brick, hard to swallow and overwhelming like the rest of this game.

"We won’t." Taehyun suddenly asserted, jaw pulled taut before he released it like he had been profusely thinking for a split moment. "I’m sure of it."

As if right on cue, the guards in the pink suits that you grew to dread stepped inside through the loud clang of the metal doors. Mechanical, like they had been trained for this their whole lives. You wondered how sick they had to be to kill so naturally. 

"All of you here passed the third game, we extend our hearty congratulations." You were tired of this voice by now. You were sure it wasn’t even real— altered by some sort of voice changer because they had to remain anonymous. "I’m now going to announce the cash prize."

You wondered if this was the same square guard that greeted you.

Just how many of them worked here, really? How big was this facility?

You grimaced at the thought you were all just entertainment. Your deaths, your broken pleas for one more moment alive, all a show for someone bigger to stare and laugh at like a casual television show.

With the buzz of the controller, no one moved. All thoughts that most of you would die if you kept going completely poofed from the minds of most, inexistent as the golden light shone across the wide expanse of the room, the gelid atmosphere suddenly tensing and pulled taut as the money started dropping like a fountain into the huge piggy bank that hung above your heads.

Soobin wasn’t wrong about the money count. It was enough to most of you— to all players who intended to leave this hellhole.

You forced yourself to narrow your mind down solely to the rising number of people against this game, on the way you still had the people you grew fond of next to you. To the possibility that Soobin would probably manage to leave this place with you, that you would both manage to raise your daughter—

No, not only yours. 

Soobin had been more of a father than Sunghoon ever made himself to be. Even if she wasn’t his by blood, it doesn’t mean the title is his. Soobin’s face is tense, his usual smile and carefree expression vanished, leaving behind a quiet determination and a layer beneath it that spoke of fear. Still, he never once broke. Mentally, or from the hold of your hand unless absolutely necessary.

"Player 454, please cast your vote." Your eyes never left Yeonjun’s back as he pushed through the players standing at the front, his posture straight and uncaring, but you could tell he was probably scared too, at least deep down. "And to make sure the voting will solely be based on democracy, any type of interference is completely forbidden."

The buzzer of the red button being pressed down filled the room, no one dared to speak as Yeonjun took his respective side on the great, red X sign that illuminated his features and shone bright beneath his feet.

Your name is called next. You let go of Soobin’s hand, looking behind your shoulder to find him already staring at you. He didn’t speak, and didn't need to reassure you. He was already sure you’d all leave, and he wanted you to count on it. 

A weight of a thousand stares pressed on your shoulders, your teeth clenched with the expectation of every single person in this room. You could practically hear their thoughts— wishing on your death in later games for being an easy target, begging you to not change your mind silently, begging for you to keep going only to exploit you later on.

You slammed the red button with a bit more force than necessary.

This time, you didn’t look back. Your chest burned with the tiniest of sparks, a hope that could be put out, but you were sure you wouldn’t. Not this time.

No one had dared to speak up during voting, the room was a mere sound of echoing footsteps against the polished and grimy floor and the buzzer that, every time pressed, decided the fate of all of you. The numbers flew up fast, no one hesitated, and those who did always pressed with a sag of shoulders of either relief or regret. Despite the fact you kept your face unmoving, your heart was spiking in your chest with every breath that took too long to leave as your eyes locked on the numbers.

Numbers. Your dislike for numbers would always haunt you. You just had one more reason to hate them now.

You were squeezing the life out of Soobin’s hand, the building anxiety you didn’t let your face show had to go somewhere. Every step that sounded in your ears was too loud, every press of the buzzer button made your breath lock or quicken.

You met Yeonjun’s eyes as the difference between votes was only two people apart. Two people changing their mind or staying put on the idea of living and you would tie. "Just two more."

He was grinning with excitement that breached through his nerves, fingers held up half expecting you not to hear him when you could. The room was already far too silent.

A tie.

Your stomach churned. You stared at the numbers that felt almost dizzying, the X side was one vote short because the last woman changed her mind. 

"Player number one, please cast your vote."

"It’s Taehyun." Soobin breathed in relief, Yeonjun met your eyes with a smile so wide it was as if he had won the lottery instead of having to fight to possible death for this money. "We’ll leave."

His steps were slow, way too slow, as if he was calculating something. It didn’t sit right with you, but you forced yourself to smile just as wide to not rub Yeonjun off the wrong way. Then you darted your eyes to Beomgyu, who was behind him.

He was already staring at you. His eyes spoke what he hadn’t spoken since he set foot back inside the room. While Taehyun seemed to take an eternity and his own time to reach the front of the room, you slipped away from Soobin’s side— he held your wrist for a moment.

"What’s wrong?" He whispered, eyes flickering between you and the voting table.

You forced yourself to swallow down your uneasiness, the one that made even a smile hurt. "Nothing, just checking on Beomgyu."

He nodded, letting go with lingering eyes. "I need to tell you something—like, really badly." Beomgyu whispered in a rapid fire speech, his eyes wide, almost as wide as they had been when Kai had been shot in front of him. You frowned, stepping closer in order for him to whisper in your ear, concealing the private matter he desperately looked like he had been trying to get out. The air felt wrong, like it took an uninvited shift that only needed a simple invite. 

"When Taehyun and I went into the room, the mingle one.  He kill—"

The buzzer burst through your ears before Beomgyu could even finish his sentence, but it wasn’t the one you had expected. It wasn’t the buzz of salvation, it was the one that made your heart stutter in your chest. The one that made your world flip to the side before it was upside down. The one that felt like perfectly positioned knuckles on your ribs. 

The difference in numbers as you slowly trailed your eyes towards the screen was dizzying, you had to force down the bile that came up your throat and burn in an acidifying way. You swallowed it down, hands shaky as you fought to keep your breakfast down— lunch, dinner, whatever the hell it was.

Time had lost its meaning a long time ago. It warped and bent right to the wind of whoever had the upper hand in the games.

Taehyun didn’t even look back at anyone, he wasn’t the type to look behind when he made a choice. He had not looked at Yeonjun, not at Beomgyu— not at Soobin. But he looked back for a split second to look at you. Your jaw tightened, feeling like it might snap as his eyes, so intense, burned straight through yours.

He smiled. A quick quiver of lips that was almost imperceptible, but it was there. The side of people who wanted to continue greeted him with cheers, smacking him in the back like he was someone great. It was a lie, everyone knew. People greeted one another on the continuing side in a meaningless way because of the same ideals, but it was a false illusion. One that was broken by the sharp blade of either a literal knife, or the knife of betrayal that burned and choked you alive before a gunshot or a pair of hands stronger than your own ever could.

You went through a whirlwind of emotions. Betrayal burned inside your heart, dampening the small spark of hope you carried so dear within yourself. Then it molded into something angry and ugly without you even meaning it to do so. You were clearly livid, Beomgyu was wordless next to you, mouth hanging open as if his words were on the tip of his tongue, but they were cruelly ended by the choice that kept all of you stuck in here.

"The results of the voting are 51 for O and 49 for X. Based on majority voting, we’ll proceed to the fourth game tomorrow. Thank you for your cooperation." The square masked guard announced in a monotone speech you unintentionally had already memorized, but it never ceased to make your bones weaken like jelly.

The players scattered, some breaking down once again, some didn’t have hope. The loud voices that boomed from the opposite side grated on your ears, and every time you replayed that smile in your mind, rage seemed to spread impossibly deeper inside of you. This was what you were afraid of. You knew that trusting too much meant a high chance of betrayal especially with not much time spent with one another, but still, it never once managed to make you not weak on the knees.

“Y/N, come on. Let's go sit down.” Soobin’s voice called out from all the haze of thoughts and bitter sentiments. “We’ll figure it out.” His voice was strained, you could tell Soobin was pissed. He wasn’t as untrusting as you were, maybe this stung harder on him than it did on you. Despite that, he still managed to put on the same front he always tries to put on for you. Someone had to remain level headed here, even if it was hard.

“I can’t believe he just– fucking hell.” Yeonjun hissed, steps a bit too quick for someone who was supposedly fine. “That fucking asshole.”

“I’d say he had his reasons, but he didn’t even try to look at us in the face.” Soobin sighed, free hand pinching the bridge of his nose as your footsteps climbed over the steps onto the small, somewhat safe haven you built with what you had. Anything was better than nothing within these games. “Has he been using us all along?”

“Why would he?” You breathed out, attempting to gain a semblance of calm. You really did want to give Taehyun the benefit of doubt, but his choice didn’t make any sense in your mind. If he had possibly been using all of you, then what for? And what could possibly have made him change his mind? The only solid reason you had in mind was because maybe he needed an initial alliance, however, if he wanted to just dump all of you, then why would he even form one? The further you went down the rabbit hole of thoughts, the further you seemed from an actual answer. And truly, you really doubted Taehyun, now sitting down and from where you could see him talking with the biggest smile on his face with another player who had voted to continue, would bother explaining anything to you at all.

“I don’t know, but raising our hopes up just to crush them makes him one of the biggest assholes around.” Yeonjun scoffed, body thudding against the bed he was now sitting, the old springs from the mattress that creaked under his weight initiated the silence. Even then, it was still a silent conversation. What now?

You’d have to just survive, somehow.

“Depending on what the next game is, we could take him out for this.” Beomgyu whispered, almost as if he was embarrassed to express the fact he was okay with killing a teammate–a friend, who just happened to switch up on all of you.

“What?” You blinked, forcing your jaw back up. He had just lost one of his friends, how come he could be okay with killing Taehyun? “Beomgyu, do you have any idea on what you’re saying?” “He betrayed us, Y/N.” His eyes were sharp, words tinged with venom– the same kind he had been drowning in while mourning Kai in secret all along. “He’s not on our side anymore. He chose to continue, he saw Kai die, and he still chose to continue. Knowing how terrified Kai looked, knowing how scared everyone who died was. He’s choosing to side with whoever the hell the gamemakers are.” “No.” Soobin shook his head, hands fisting on the fabric of his once bright teal tracksuit pants. “Beomgyu, you’re mad, I get it–”

They weren’t as pristine as they had been when you first arrived here, now, they were stained with blood and spoke of use and the heavy burden all of you carried together. But then again, nothing was pristine here anymore. Not your shoes that squeaked and stepped over blood a thousand of times, not your mental stability, or your sanity. Money lost its value when it was gained by blood indirectly or directly splattered on your hands for necessity, and as you had once thought about, for entertainment of a bigger group of people ‘above’ you.

It was these small ticks that made people snap and severed ties.

“No, you don’t get it!” Beomgyu snapped, heads snap from both sides just as quickly towards you, but no one addresses it. It isn’t any of their business, either way. You couldn’t tell if he was being moved by grief, anger, betrayal, or more and all things all blended together in a recipe for disaster. “Since he died, all of you have been acting like– like it was expected. It shouldn’t have been! He knows he died, he saw Kai cry and still chose to continue this and crush our hopes! If anything, him dying makes him more guilty than I am!”

“Beomgyu, no one said anyone here is guilty. Least of all you.” Yeonjun spoke up after a moment of awkward silence, fingers nimbly picking at the strings that started to separate from the stitching of the sleeves of his jacket. “If you condemn him so much for this, then don’t stoop lower than him.” Beomgyu scoffed, he would have seemed completely pissed had his eyes not been shining, and not because of the lights that shone harshly above your heads as a contrast to the warm lighting the piggy bank holding money provided. “Whatever. I’m going to bed.” Neither of you attempted to stop him, you knew he was like this because he wanted to blame anyone but himself. But truthfully, there was no one to blame for Kai’s death but fate itself. Fate, the one thing that controlled everything and yet no one acknowledged it when things happened.

“He’ll come around eventually.” Soobin sighed, shifting to sit cross legged on the mattress. Time seemed to pass by way slower like this, the silence and lack of something as well as the tension was enough to cloud your brain. You managed a few bites of your food down, too. Though you didn’t eat everything, Soobin made sure to wrap half of his and your leftover kimbap in a single piece of aluminum before tucking it underneath a bunk next to the mattress you two were sleeping in just in case you got hungry later.

But something didn’t feel right. 

When you initially grabbed the Kimbap, you didn’t receive just that. You eyed the silver cutlery neatly tucked next to the Kimbap, and something twisted in your chest, something that left your mouth with a bitter taste. No one eats Kimbap with a fork. It was simple, and yet deadly if you used it the right way. The way the ones in control wanted you to use it.

Your eyes quickly darted around the room, then, only then did you see. Some players were looking back and forth across the room before shoving the fork inside their pockets like it was sacred. Some hid the forks underneath their pillows, or stuffed them inside within the stuffing. You weren’t sure who was doing it for defense, or who was doing it for possible offense. But you gripped your own fork a bit tighter than usual.

They were doing this on purpose. Making you betray each other within the games wasn’t enough entertainment, apparently. It was disgusting, something you could look down on and turn your nose at. But to whoever was in control of this, it was like betting on horses.

"I think they’re going to try to kill each other." You whispered to Soobin, clenching your fork tighter. His puzzled expression clicked right onto understanding as he saw how protectively you held the fork. Who the hell eats Kimbap with a fork? "They’re making us eliminate each other and they know some will try."

"It’s just a matter of when." 

Soobin unwrapped the fork he had initially planned to throw away, staring at it as if figuring out what to do with it. It didn’t matter if it was for defensive or offensive, the sharp, pointy teeth of the cutlery would make you kill nevertheless. He hadn’t thought much of it, you doubted that anyone had thought much of a fork being wrapped alongside a Kimbap. They weren’t dumb, the gamemakers. This was strategy. 

They knew that most players who voted to continue and even more players who voted against were either too excited or too troubled by playing again tomorrow, either one of these feelings would make anyone not pay mind to the fork and focus on the day ahead. In a way, it was survival of the fittest. The smartest would realize and use it as an advantage over the people who were weak, not because they weren’t strong physically, but because they hadn’t realized fast enough.

"They’re trying to do everything to put us against each other." The fork you had in your hands was stuffed inside your pillowcase, carefully to the side to not poke you or Soobin while asleep, but also just close enough that you could reach out to it in case someone sneaked up on you. "Making us betray each other inside the games isn’t enough for them."

Glances were exchanged amongst the players on the opposite side, murmurs were spoken rather than actual coherent conversation, it wasn’t hard to notice they were planning something. Anything.

"That’s because we’re still in the games." Soobin looks unimpressed by now. Unlike you, who still managed to get surprised at the traps this place set or surprised at every single thing that turned out to be a worse outcome than the previous, Soobin looked like he had already gotten used to it. Nothing seemed to take him off guard anymore, it was more of a matter of how to handle it and how to carry on. "The games, to them, aren’t just the arenas they set up for us. We’re still playing, as long as we can kill each other, we’re still a show to watch."

"Do you think they got bored of watching us fight for our lives out there?" You snorted, but your mind was already thundering with different possible outcomes. "They want a bloodbath, not just for them to kill us."

"I wouldn’t doubt it. They just grabbed desperate people off of the streets and brought them here to be some kind of series." Soobin’s jaw clenched as he stared ahead, not at anything in particular. You really wished you could understand what went on inside his head, from the moment he saw you narrowing down to right now. You just could hope it wasn’t anything related to him sacrificing himself.

No, you told yourself. You wouldn’t lose him again.

"I really want to get out of here." 

By now, it wasn’t just a want. It was a need. The grime clinging to your skin was enough for your nose to wrinkle whenever you acknowledge it, your muscles ached with every step, every staircase you went up, screaming at you to slow down and stop. But you didn’t, you never did. Hell, you were sure that your hair wasn’t just filthy with sweat, but also with blood. You weren’t battered down just physically, either. It was mentally.

Frustration and stress, the sickening dread that made your heart race every time and took over your body was constant. It felt permanent, the games designed so you’d feel as if you wouldn’t feel peace again. Like the only way to peace was to die. Because there were no winners in this game.

If you won, you were acutely aware that even if you left with Soobin, you’d be haunted by the souls of those who died here. Those who begged to be given another chance, people with families and distinct backgrounds. The thought of it alone was enough for something to jab at your heart.

"And we will." Soobin finally whispered after a second, the next time you met his face, he wasn’t so tense anymore. He had that look in his eyes, tender and yet almost solemn as they trailed down to your stomach. A life that against all odds, was still here. Pushing through with you despite all death revolving around. "It doesn’t matter if we have to play one or six games, I promised you we’d get out."

Soobin really wished he could believe in his own promise as much as you looked like you did. Even if he said it so fiercely, his promise rang hollow in his own ears.

"Isn’t it ironic?" You muttered, changing the topic to avoid getting your hopes up again. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Soobin, but deep down, you knew that somehow they’d make you two pick between one another to survive. One of you would die in this place. "There’s a life inside of me, unborn yet and so much ahead of her and yet.. she’s already surrounded by death before even starting her life."

Your hand drifted down to the curve of your stomach. Once you had been so excited to see her face, to feel her tiny hand wrap around your finger, to hear her cries and to finally see who you’ve been fighting for despite life throwing hell at you. But now, seeing the cruelty that went on so easily, you weren’t sure if your choice to keep her was right. Bringing such a fragile life into such a tainted world felt wrong, like you were just subjecting your baby to pain, even if it wasn’t here yet or if it wasn’t completely avoidable.

You loved your daughter, even if she wasn’t here, you did. But these small doubts, the ones that were like rotten fruits in a basket full of healthy ones that only would taint the whole basket, made you rethink your choices. That maybe Sunghoon was right, maybe you should have gotten that abortion.

"As ironic as it is, it reflects on your own personal strength, and her own." Soobin’s hand landed atop of yours, hesitantly and slowly as if you—no, the moment was fragile. "You never fail to surprise me."

"It’s just survival, there’s nothing surprising in it."

"But there is. It’s so much deeper than that, Y/N." For once, through the waver in his voice, you could see the cracks he had inside of him. Soobin wasn’t perfect by any means, he was still human like anyone else. Being level headed didn’t mean he didn’t have his own pains. The thing was that he managed to conceal them well enough that they’d never have to show up at all. At least not in front of others. 

You didn’t speak, you watched Soobin suck in a breath. You didn’t press, if he wanted to speak or tell you anything, then let him do it on his own terms and pace. "When I was younger, maybe nine or ten. My mother was pregnant with her fourth child, we were all ecstatic. Pregnancy looked good on her because she loved the idea of bringing life into the world, to have something like a little bundle of joy to brighten her days." His throat bobbed, tight with the one thing he had never told anyone. "Long story short, she had a miscarriage. She took such good care of herself and yet—"

The way he had been trying to keep it cool was almost instinctual, to look at the high ceiling above your heads and blink away the tears by staring at the harsh, burning light. As if the tears were something to be ashamed of, something that should be kept caged. He didn’t need to speak any further, a sound or a syllable let out would for sure derail the force he was putting to keep his throat tight to force everything down. Being a leader to follow came with expectations, and expectations sometimes were destroyed by showing weakness.

Soobin crying wouldn’t mean you’d change your view of him. Because you wouldn’t, not at all.

Some of the players had already retreated to their beds, the once chaotic space that was filled with the weight of panic and triumph was now settling down to a silence. Faintly, the feminine voice from the PA system warned about sleeping time, though the both of you were too stuck in the moment to truly care.

You didn’t have words for it. How could you? You had never lost a baby, let alone a sibling because you never had anyone before. It had always been you. But you could feel a sliver of his pain at the thought of losing your baby—the way your heart gave a beat that went the wrong way. But you wouldn’t manage to realize the extent. You couldn’t tell him everything was alright, because some scars never truly faded and you knew it yourself. "I’m so sorry for your loss, Soobin."

You pressed your lips together, you had never seen over the course of the few days you spent together any trace of pain flickering across his features, least of all had you seen him express it. Knowing nothing would fill the void the past left in him hurt, but the one thing you could do was fill that in, or at least try to, with happier memories.

"What was her name?" You opted for instead, shifting in order to sit on your heels. 

"It was going to be Choi Eun-seo." He rasped out, muffling a sniffle on the palm of his hand— trying to mask it for a sneeze.

"You told me it’s okay to cry. To not act like it doesn’t hurt." Slightly shaky hands lifted up from your lap to his face, almost like it came naturally to you. "Don’t act like this is nothing. Like losing your sister even if you had never met her is nothing."

His skin was warm, soft despite the battered look Soobin started to reveal. One that spoke of the fights he has gone through, mental scars that resurfaced like rubbing salt on wounds that burned despite being so well kept. The warmth beneath your thumbs that moved in gentle caress dampened, like a crack in a dam.

His tears fell silent, almost as silent as his house was for years. He was pulled almost magnetically towards you, head lowering until it found a place of comfort in your chest. There was a lingering awkwardness to the position, but neither of you seemed to mind. Soobin’s tears weren’t loud, rather, they were full body wrecks and shivers as your fingers carded through the strands of his hair. He had been here for you more times than you could count, for once and more times in the future, you hoped to be someone he could trust enough he didn’t have to be strong constantly.

Both souls between the two of you seemed to slowly unravel and crawl away from their hiding. It was as delicate as it was beautiful.

Soobin had never mentioned how life became hard after that, how he had to grow up quicker than other kids his age. His siblings left a few years later, they didn’t keep much contact, they just abandoned the thick air of grief that clung to the walls and lingered in the air from the dawning sun to the rising one. Nothing changed since Eun-seo died, they’d never even met her, it was pointless to mourn—that’s what they said. But his mother took a hard blow, one she never recovered from. He never saw the smile on her face to which he had inherited again.

His father tried to remain strong-headed, but Soobin could see how every piece of him crumbled every other moon. The family dynamic shifted. The death of someone so small and precious made everyone in the family drift apart in different orbits. At last, his father died a year later. His family wasn’t doing the best financially, Soobin was elbow deep into studies and despite his young age, trying to work shifts at local convenience stores. Life was hard, but his brain convinced him that the next to be would be a better day.

He didn’t receive a big funeral or speeches, only the silence from his own wife’s lips. Eyes too hollow to produce tears she was drained off years ago, Soobin cried what she hadn’t cried. It wasn’t even his body that had been buried in that casket so deep beneath the ground, it was just his arm. In reality, his body was mauled by a machine he went too close to, the company shut down the next day and the only thing he had gotten back was his arm.

His mother— God, his mother. If she was bad, she stooped a level below worse. Barely leaving bed, her hair would tangle in knots and a foul smell would often rise from her bed. Her form was forever imprinted on the mattress, unmoving for most days unless Soobin dragged her out to the bathtub to carefully wash her hair with gentle fingers and barely any shampoo, a small luxury they could barely afford.

The same way you were doing to him now.

Faintly, from the sounds of tears and the heavy weight of expectations shedding from Soobin, the sound of light footsteps came down against the metal. The lights dimmed until all that was left was the glow that emanated from the floor and gentled as it reached the bunks due to the lack of proximity, concealing the two of you tangled in an embrace for the most part.

Yeonjun was sitting at the steps at the entrance of the carefully crafted ‘haven.’ It was an illusion of safety— guarding. Stronger players could easily crush that and all of you knew it. But for now, it was more than enough to conceal what you all had built together.

You held Soobin close until he was nothing but mere sniffles, your tracksuit jacket soaked from what had been years of built up pain carried on a pair of firm shoulders. It didn’t matter how strong Soobin was, no one should carry all of this by themselves.

When he finally pulled away from your chest, it was like something squeezed your heart. Eyes red rimmed, face flushed. But despite it all, he looked more relieved than ever. Lighter.

"Thank you."

"You don’t have anything to thank me for, Soobin." Your lips curled in a semblance of a smile, your hands never quite leaving their earlier positioning. "It’s what.."

Your words died on your tongue, because what were you really? It dawned finally that despite the kisses and shared glances, the late night comforts, they didn’t have a label to them. The time you barely had here never allowed it.

"Lovers do?" He spoke almost hopefully in a bated breath, air stuck halfway through his chest in a way he hadn’t realized.

"It’s what lovers do." You repeated, a laugh of something wrapped around disbelief and equal relief bursting through your chest as quiet as you could manage it. Love was a gentle, unexpected thing, you realized. Some part of you actually felt glad to join these games.

"When we get out of here," When, not if. Speaking as if the future had already been decided. "We can go anywhere we want. I’ll find a way to keep you as comfortable as possible, then, you can raise your daughter without ever worrying about struggling again."

"Our." You corrected, despite the earlier admission of being lovers, everything felt foreign.

"I— what?"

"You’re more of a father than he could be." You forced down the nervousness that coated your voice, you couldn’t tell whether he was shocked, pleased, confused—

"You’re not kidding? Please don’t joke around like this." Soobin pleaded, tethering himself to the idea of actually being what you had offered him.

"I’m not kidding, Soobin." Heart hammering as strongly as it could against your chest, not sure where you became uncaring of the show of emotions you put on display. This was what whoever was in charge of this wanted, emotions and entertainment. But this wasn’t for them.

It was for you. For Soobin— for your daughter.

Your lips clashed onto his right afterwards, passionate in a way it felt suffocating as it was freeing. Warmth spread through you as his hand held your face tenderly, pulling you closer with a breath of contentment. His lips were soft, moving in a gentle rhythm against yours like they belonged against yours. He felt like home, even if it took you a few to really grasp that concept.

The air lacked, your lungs burned from the sheer exertion from holding the passion. And yet, neither of you wanted to pull away. His tongue prodded against yours lips, parting them as his tongue tangled onto yours. The idea that this might be the only and last time you’d have him made you cling to him a little tighter, like holding onto him would make the moment stop forever. Even if time didn’t stop forever for you, you’d hold onto this and hope there would be more like these moments in the future.

Just not in the dark of a lobby room filled with other people, people whose souls were ugly with ignorance and broken by poverty and their own choices.

A moan, quiet but audible to both of your ears, escaped your lips. His hands were everywhere, trying to memorize the shape of you against him with the shortest amount of time. If Soobin was going to die, he wanted to die with the softness of your body and the dip of your waist forever etched into his memories. They slid down from your cheeks to your neck, all consuming but careful, exploring every inch of skin he could touch.

For the first time in months, you could feel the dampness already building in your panties. Your thighs pressed together as his fingers gripped the zipper of your tracksuit jacket, bringing it down quickly, a contrast to how patient he was trying to be. How patient he wanted to be with you. 

His hands maneuvered you against the mattress, pressing you against the material that was once so uncomfortable that now felt like nothing. He settled carefully above you, trying to keep pressure away from your bump. Your lips finally parted from one another moments later, chest heaving from the air you both had been stealing from one another and bursting with emotions neither of you could fully convey.

His hands were already pushing your shirt up to rest just beneath your breasts, never fully off. If you were being watched, he’d only allow so much of you to be shown. His frame could easily cover most of you from certain angles— he wanted to keep it that way despite wanting to see all of you.

"Can I?.." he whispered, fingers hooking onto your sweatpants with a silent permission. As much as he wanted this, he wanted you to want him too. Even if his mind was telling him this might be the only and last time he’d have you. 

"Yes." Your breathless voice managed out, wheezy and heavy managed out. As if to enjoy the moment as much as he could, he stripped you from your sweatpants and underwear and neatly folded them to the side. 

"Can you stay quiet for me, sweetheart?" He murmured, already making a slow descent down your body. 

You nodded, head jerking with desperation you could barely contain as his lips met the plush warmth of your thigh. His breath was hot and heavy against it, making you squirm.

"Words." He demanded softly, never quite touching you where you needed him.

Embarrassment flushed through your cheeks, not because you were ashamed of speaking, but because this was entirely new. You hadn’t been treated like this with Sunghoon for all of the time you were together, and now Soobin was just sweeping you off of your feet with simple acts of love.

"I can, just—fuck, Soobin. Pleas—" Your words were cut off abruptly with a sharp gasp, your hand quickly covered your mouth as Soobin finally pressed his tongue flat against your slit.

Your thighs quivered slightly, his tongue so good pressed against you that you could cry out of relief. Your other hand, the one that fisted the poorly made material of the blanket given up aside until you were white knuckled, drifted down to tangle in the matted mess, now a little more manageable thanks to your earlier ministrations of your hands in his hair.

"You’re already so wet, fuck." He groaned against your folds, tongue parting them. He lapped at your pussy like it was the best meal he had in days, desperate and gentle all at once. Plump, soft lips wrapping around your clit and sucking as his arms—those strong, firm arms that would hold both you and your daughter once you left these games, wrapped around both of your thighs, pressing you down against him further.

"Soobin—" you gasped against your hand, pleasure exploding through your body. "Feels so good,"

"You taste so good," His tongue dragged down to your entrance, prodding as his nose bumped against your clit. Your heels dug firmer onto the mattress, biting your lip to conceal your noises. "Can’t believe I’ve had a taste of you only now."

The soft, purple-ish lighting from the mingling, bright shining colors in the middle of the room gave you an almost ethereal view of his face. He was so pretty it was unfair. Your hands brushed his bangs away from his face, his eyes, bigger than usual from this angle, shone back to you with the sheer weight of devotion he proved everyday so effortlessly.

It made your chest ache.

His face buried impossibly further against your pussy, tongue dragging back up as one of his hands left the plush curve of your inner thigh. His eyes met yours once again, this time watching for any discomfort as his middle finger pushed into you slowly.

You let out a silent cry, struggling to stay quiet. Whether it was from the fact his fingers alone were big or because you hadn’t allowed yourself the simple act of being touched by someone in months was the reason for you being so sensitive, you didn’t know. But you knew it felt good despite the initial burn.

He slowly inserted another finger next, pumping in and out of you and stretching you open tenderly as he eased the discomfort through circles and sucks at your clit. It left you dizzy, the pain bending to give way to pleasure you denied for so long.

"I’m so close, Soobin. Fuck—" You whimpered, hips rutting down to the best of their abilities as his tongue doubled down in effort. The all-consuming feeling of your orgasm built up in coils inside your stomach, stretched impossibly tight as your thighs clenched around his head. Quiet moans now being muffled in a half-assed way by your hands left you in strings, singing in pleasure to Soobin’s eager ears.

One last suck at your clit, and you completely unraveled beneath him. Back arching off of the mattress, eyes pressing closed, anything to even out the overwhelming pleasure. Soobin lapped up your release eagerly, helping you ride out your orgasm until you were boneless against the mattress. Then, only then, did he finally pull away from your cunt.

His chin was completely drenched with your juices. Leaving his lips moist as his hair mused once more. "Good?" He murmured with a contented, dumb smile. 

"More than good." You managed out once you finally regained a firmer grip onto reality once again. His hands brushed the curve of your stomach, kissing in an almost worshipful way. His eyes wet, excited like a little kid on Christmas eve.

"Hey, baby." He mumbled, fingers trailing circles absentmindedly along your skin. "I’m here now, okay? I won’t ever leave you or your mama."

Your breath became shaky, not sure which part of you was throbbing the hardest at his words. He was so meaningful, taking on a responsibility that wasn’t his to bear but he made it his own since he saw you. You wanted him. Not just now, but for the rest of your life. Until the world became as dull and gray as the strands of your hair, until your heart gave its final beat. 

"I’m excited to meet you. So be good to her, okay? She’s trying really hard for you." One last kiss against your skin that was already touched through its whole expanse by his curious hands and lips, and he was already hovering above you again.

When your lips met, it gave you hope. It was slightly more desperate, harder, like he couldn’t hold back anymore. You didn’t want him to, you wanted everything he had to offer and more. You closed your eyes, tasting yourself on his tongue as he moaned between shaking lips. All you felt was him, everywhere and unbelievably never enough.

"Do you have a safeword you use?" He asked between kisses, thoughtful as he had always been.

"No." 

Quite frankly, you never considered the use of one before. You found it unnecessary— a minor thing you never cared for. Not until Soobin made you care and crave it.

Being loved by him meant having gentle, small things ingrained into you that you would slowly crave.

"Velvet," he finally pulled away, hands parting your thighs to settle between them. "If you want me to stop at all, just say it, and I’ll stop."

You nodded, breathless by his sheer consideration. Without another moment to spare, his pants slid down his legs, boxers coming off next, a wet patch right at the hardened crotch. You couldn’t help the way your eyes widened at the sight of him.

He was big, flushed red and leaking in a way that made you nearly salivate. How could someone be carved out and sculpted so perfectly?

"If anything at all—" he started, worry coating his voice. Not only because he didn’t want to hurt you, since he was aware he was bigger than most people in all aspects, but because he didn’t want to hurt the baby.

"Soobin, please. I’ll be fine, I promise." You whined, aching to have him inside of you already.  "I need you."

His words died right on his throat, fully taking his time to catch the view of you beneath him. Eyes hazy and wanting with pleasure, legs parted open just for him, hair spread around your pillow, flushed and pliant just for him.

Slowly, almost reverently, he pressed his tip against your entrance. One of his hands held the back of one of your thighs for balance, pushing in with a groan muffled by his teeth biting the bottom of his lip.

You gasped, the stretch burned more than you had initially expected. Sensitivity mixed with pain with an underlying sense of pleasure, heavy enough that it made tears sting your eyes, your hands scrambling to grip anywhere. His shoulders, his biceps— every firm part of him. He moved slowly, ducking down to press kiss at your neck as your head tipped back to allow him space.

"You’re doing so good, taking me so well." He whispered through hisses, hitches of his own voice. "My sweet girl, I’ll take such good care of you."

Your mind blanked as his fingers met your clit in circles, easing away some of the tension until he bottomed out. You felt incredibly full, his dick filling parts of you that no one has ever reached and it was so overwhelming in the best way.

Soobin let out a breath he wasn’t aware he had been lacking, taking a moment to let you adjust in silence. 

"Please," You whimpered, breathy against his ear. He nodded, compliant as he moved in shallow, experimental thrusts. 

"You’re so good for me, sweetheart." He groaned, pulling out until his tip was the only thing left in you— before pushing in. It knocked wind from your lungs, a breathy whine leaving your lips. "When we get out of here, I’ll give you such a good life. Okay?" He whispered, tender words and promises that were bound to break your bones with their heaviness. 

"Me, you, our baby. I’ll make you the happiest one alive, maybe even put a ring on your finger eventually. Would you like that, hm?" You clenched tight around him, staring at his eyes as if he hung the stars in the sky just for you. And in a way, he had. Even if they weren’t literal stars.

"Yes— fuck, I want that." You cried, legs wrapping around the firm line of his waist as you felt another orgasm build up. "All of you, please."

You were blabbering, drunk in your moans that just kept rising. Soobin’s lips met yours desperately, partly to drown out your noises but also to silence his own. "Then you’ll have it. That, and me." He promised, another promise thrown to the pile as his thrusts grew faster, the wet smack of skin making you two concealing your noises futile.

Fuck it, you thought. Let them all hear. 

With your heart inside your throat, you spasmed around him. Finding your release in the safe haven of his lips that were almost like a secret salvation, something meant just for you.

Soobin’s breath was ragged, fast. He kept his ears open, trying to hear any sign of you saying the safeword— to push him away, but all you could do was hold him tight and clench impossibly tight in spasms around him, drunk and carried away by pleasure. "Shit, shit. You’re so tight—Baby, where do you want me?"

Despite his own desperate urge to cum, he still made sure it all wrapped around what you wanted.

"Inside." You whined, his name leaving your lips in strings of what were a silent prayer.

With a final thrust, he finally came after a series of stuttering thrusts. His head pressed against your shoulder, nuzzling your neck next as he inhaled the scent of you beneath all of that grime and death. Catching his breath.

"I love you." He pressed a kiss against your neck, followed by many others until he could see your face. Blissed out in pleasure, finally relaxed and his. "So, so much."

Slowly, he pulled out of you. Sliding his shirt off and using water from the water bottles they had given you to clean you up to the best of his abilities. After dressing you, only then did he collapse next to you with a satisfied smile.

"I want her name to be Eun-seo." You whispered, half-asleep as you pressed as close as possible to him as you could. You felt Soobin tense, processing your words. "If you’re okay with it."

As the tension slowly drained from him, his expression morphed from disbelief to a love so unbearable you were sure both of you would drown in it. He then laughed, the kind of carefree laughter that felt almost as if you weren’t amidst a death game. 

"I’d love that." He pressed his lips against the top of your head, arm draping over your waist as the other caressed your stomach. The baby wasn’t his biologically, but it didn’t make her anything less than his daughter, too. "L/N Eun-seo, or Choi?"

"Choi has a nice ring to it.." you smiled, sighing warmly against the heated skin of his neck. "We can keep the Choi."

"Choi Eun-seo.." Same name, completely different lives and fates. His chest twisted, not in pain, but in something far more freeing. "Mommy and daddy already love you." 

That night, you slept more at ease than you had any other nights. Wrapped around the person you least expected to love.

THE NEXT MORNING shattered the illusion of complete safety. No one, surprisingly, had attacked anyone. But the presence of the forks were still there, still a threat. It was only a matter of time until something burst in order for the attacks to start. The violins from the rising alarm rang in your ears, causing you to finally rise. Anxiety was easy to settle over your body, feet moving because they had to go towards the breakfast line. You managed to eat both offered sweet breads, two because Soobin was still hellbent on giving you his food. You hadn’t seen Beomgyu earlier that day, nor Yeonjun, but you assumed as the games started, they’d resurface.

You hadn’t seen Taehyun, either. But you knew he was smart. And if he was against you, then just how easily could he kill you?

You made your way up the steps despite the slight tension in your legs, the pathway was always silent. But now, it was heavy with tension, because sides were more distinct and segregated than they’d ever been. The design of this place was already making you sick, but you were all sadly stuck here because of the choice of many.

The room you stepped in wasn’t colorful, not like the others. It was just a slight glimpse, though. The place was too cramped to even properly hold up a fight. If this was about entertainment, then all of you would die in a pretty damn boring way. Nevertheless, the walls were painted pitch black. The yellow that was the floor was a harsh contrast, making the colors clash. You walked in through a knife shaped wall, a Gumball dispenser stood amidst it. Red balls and blue ones blended together, mixing with the colors of your patches. Though, this time, the patches weren’t chosen. They were randomly assorted. 

It was plain in a way that didn’t catch much attention, maybe the point was to seem underwhelming. But it didn’t do much to your heart that had been beating in palpitations up the steps, now racing further.

"Welcome to your fourth game. This game will be played in two teams, but before we start the game, you will be divided in said teams. Please, politely take turns drawing a ball from the gumball dispenser ahead of you."

Lines were formed, you stood right in front of Soobin as person per person drew a ball. Some blue, some red. You weren’t aware of the meaning yet, but you knew that it couldn’t be good. Still, you couldn’t match a small clue to a game from your childhood.

When it was your turn, you twisted the cold metal handle, watching as the balls shuffled and one dropped with a light sound. Your hand still rested above your stomach— a habit you caught that felt like reassurance now.

Red.

You examined it for a moment too long, eyes narrowing at it as if it was something more dangerous. Then, you stepped to the side. Soobin was next— blue. His eyes didn’t hesitate to meet yours, your hand tightened around the ball you were holding. There was no way this would end up well.

"What are we going to do?" You whispered, trying to hold back the panic rising within your voice. "This can’t be good."

"It’ll be fine, we’ll find a way." Soobin reassured, looking at whoever was next. Player 036, Wonhee. He remembered her from mingle and the bathroom, though now she looked far more worn down than ever. These games were clearly getting to her. She was red.

"See? You’re not entirely alone. Don’t worry so much, especially because we don’t even know what game it is."

Once everyone was sorted out in groups, you stood apart by the color of the balls you had gotten. 

"The game you will be playing is hide and seek. The blue team must either find the exit and escape within 30 minutes, or stay hidden from the red team until the time is up."

How the hell were you going to kill each other playing hide and seek? Your mind thought about options, one far worse than the other. All of them still meant you were against Soobin.

"What about the taggers? We just need to find the hiders and that’s it?" Wonhee questioned, the first time you had heard her voice since mingle. She looked alone.

Has she lost everyone?

You felt bad, but you couldn’t pity her. If you did, it would be exploited by anyone or the higher ups in this game.

"The red team, the taggers, must find members of the blue team and kill them within thirty minutes." The guard instructed, gasps rising within the room.

Your blood ran cold. You stood a moment too long frozen hoping that you, despite the clear ‘fairness’ of the rules amongst players, wouldn’t have to kill Soobin. You didn’t even look at him. Couldn’t.

You didn’t want to see him telling you it was okay, because it wasn’t.

"And what happens if you don’t kill?" Your voice came out, raspy and nervous. 

"If you fail to kill any opposing players? you will be eliminated." 

The blue team had been giving boxes, those kinds where you pull the side latch. It was big, looked promising, however the red team— your team, hadn’t received anything. As much as you didn’t want to play by the rules of this game, you didn’t want to play this unfairly, either.

"What is this?" You watched from the corner of your eye as player 060 held up a key, compared to your offered knives, this seemed unfair. And almost everyone was in the blue team, at least, who you knew. Yeonjun and Beomgyu. They were standing side by side in blue vests with their player number attached to the middle of their chests. Easier to call out their numbers if they were eliminated rather than actually checking their bodies under the vest.

"You have been given keys to doors in the arena, to which can be used to go through doors. But once a door is unlocked, it cannot be relocked."

"So they can hide somewhere and use their keys to escape? They have it much easier!" Someone complained, a person from red. He wasn’t wrong— plus, finding people while being pregnant as a tagger left you at a disadvantage. You couldn’t exactly chase after hiders with bare hands without them killing you first.

"On top of that, we have to kill people with just our hands." Another player agreed, the murmurs of complaint filling the room in a choir. 

"That’s right. It’s not like they will just roll over and ask us to kill them." Sunghoon, who had been standing a few rows behind you, boomed through all the noise. "How do you expect us to kill someone with just our hands?"

"We understand your concerns, that’s why we have prepared a small gift for the red team as well."

In front of you, a circle guard had already started to hand out boxes. To each side, there was a color. You grabbed your own fingers hesitating against the side latch of the box to find the blade of a knife, it was a contrast to what people from the continuing side acquired, theirs being a key.

The knife gleamed practically menacingly under the bright, white lighting that reflected across the four expanses of the wall. It was sharpened, made to build and dig into skin to cut it open. The handle was a shade of shock pink fading into slight red, adorned by spirals of blue that wrapped around it. Nearing the blade, a design almost akin to a bird’s wings wrapped around both sides of the bottom of the blade, the middle being a light pink arrow.

It was beautiful, you couldn’t lie. But one of the laws in nature meant that if it’s beautiful, it could be deadly.

That applied to this.

You gripped the handle of your blade as you held it up, eyes narrowing as you examined it. Surely, it was built to create damage without mercy. It was just up to the red team players whether they would be merciful or kill to torture.

Entertainment was entertainment one way or another.

"The red team can use knives to attack the blue team, however, the members from the red team are strictly forbidden from attacking each other." The square guard then announced, desperation dawning onto the faces of the hiders almost immediately.

They had a cruel way of making you understand that no matter how hard you tried, you would have to kill to survive. The blood splattered couldn’t just be done by the guards, you had to betray indirectly, manipulate to take what you needed and leave without a trace before they kill you. The squelch of blood wasn’t limited to just the guns or machinery the guards in this facility carried around so proudly.

"Shouldn’t you give us a shield or something?! You give them knives and expect us to just—run around without a weapon?"

"I understand your concerns. However, be aware you can use the key to open a door and escape." The guard reminded the uneasy hiders. While they could open doors, you’d be the one getting screwed over by having to run after players to ‘tag’ and kill them.

"That’s right, just hide somewhere and you’ll be fine!" Someone counter argued, not out of pity, however. It was mocking, almost superior. You hated how the initial hope that you all clung to when the games started faded onto a bloodthirsty mess of mannerisms the game made you built for survival.

"Before we start the game, you may switch roles with someone on the opposing team." 

Your head finally snapped towards Soobin, so quickly you were sure you could hear a bone pop and pull from the sudden movement, ringing in your ears. He was still holding up his key, admiring or analyzing it, you weren’t sure which. But you could practically see the gears in his head turning.

"You can swap your items and vests upon mutual agreement, but once the game starts, removing or trading your vests will be completely forbidden and will result in the elimination of the players from both parties that participated in the ordeal." The guard took a pause, whether the guard was watching how the information sank to see the desperation in the face of players or to just bask in it, you weren’t sure. "Please make your choice carefully."

Slowly but surely, the players from the blue team came like a force towards the red team players. Some begged to swap, some used threatening and manipulation. It was useless, a knife could always break the string of words, it didn’t matter whether the string was soft or harsh, a string is still a string.

"Partner up with me." Your eyes flicker up to SUNGHOON, pinching your brows together as he held up the blade right next to his head as if it made the situation any better.

"This isn’t a team game. I don’t need help, least of all yours." You replied bitterly, almost as bitter as the bile that you forced down each day. The feeling acrid and strong. "I don’t trust you, Sunghoon. Mind your own business, I can take care of myself."

It was infuriating. Sunghoon seemed to try to breach through your already built life without him like he hadn’t done anything, like this wasn’t his fault as much as it was yours. You wouldn’t let him in again, not now. Especially not now. You turned away before he could say another word, eyes scanning the clumped groups of players for Soobin.

"But you should. Listen—I’ll make sure you guarantee a kill, I know you won’t be able to do anything with that knife." He interrupted, gripping your wrist and positioning himself in front of you. 

"Don’t act like you know everything about me."

"Maybe I don’t, but I do know one thing, Y/N." He paused, seriousness finally settling onto his face in an almost eerie way. "You can’t kill anyone. They’ll kill you before you kill them."

You remained silent, but you knew he was right. You wouldn’t be able to bear the possibility of blood staining your hands. While these people weren’t innocent by their actions, they were still mostly unaware people—people that came here for an opportunity at life innocently and now had to kill or be killed by a sick, carefully constructed system.

"Give me the knife." His hand reached towards the knife, your eyes wary and wide as you pulled the knife further backwards so he wouldn’t grab it. "I’ll take someone out as quickly as I can, and then I’ll find someone for you. I’ll protect you and the baby, I promise."

You snort, head tilting as you bit your lip in actual contempt. You wouldn’t give in, that was for sure. If anything, you were going to swap with Soobin. What you couldn’t place, though. The missing piece of the puzzle was why Sunghoon seemed to care now and just why at this moment.

He wanted your money.

You glanced at the knife on your side, white knuckles holding it so strongly you were sure if it had been anything else rather than the wooden foundation of the handle, it would have been snapped underneath the pressure force.

"I don’t need your help." You finally declare, pushing past him as you bumped into his shoulder with a little more force than necessary. He doesn’t push, he feels moreover disappointed than willing to chase after you. What was new?

You find the mop of blonde hair towering above the sea of black ones soon after, standing next to Yeonjun and Beomgyu in a circle. Their voices were hushed, almost strategic. You felt for once, out of place. Your red vest was a threatening contrast to their passive, blue ones. 

"Y/N.." Yeonjun caught your eyes first, trailing down to the vest you wore and the weapon you wielded. You didn’t look out of place because you were wearing red, but you looked out of place because you were someone who couldn’t kill. Someone who tried to cling to her morals as much as possible.

Red didn’t suit you. It never did. This was just another reminder of why you rarely, or for matter of fact, almost never wore something red.

"Swap with me." You announced to the group— anyone willing to take it. You were placing your knife carefully on top of the box before extending it towards them, who exchanged a glance.

"I’ll do it. Give me the knife." Beomgyu’s voice was almost monotonous, not necessarily looking into your eyes. No, he was looking at Taehyun. Who was talking to Sunghoon. An alliance, perhaps. The alliance you didn’t give Sunghoon the pleasure of.

"No, I’ll do it." A sharp intake of breath left Soobin, already reaching for the box. With the look Beomgyu was giving Taehyun, this couldn’t be good at all. He was practically fuming at the thought of Taehyun, but Taehyun was red. Beomgyu would end up in a seriously stupid predicament if you gave him the knife. He was already handing you the box with his key and his vest, eyes downcast towards it as if it would bite. 

"I’ll find all of you once I tag someone," tag, not kill. The word killing sounded too grim for this moment, he didn’t want to think about killing someone. Soobin ran a hand through his hair, distressed, but not displeased. Yeonjun was the most capable of doing this, considering he was a sergeant prior to this. But if there was anyone better to protect you, and to keep Beomgyu in line, it would be him. "You hide. Stay put, and I’ll come."

You exchanged your vests, both roles feeling more adaptable to but still frightening. Both ways would be a brutal way to die. 

You were tense as you watched other interactions from other players, some people who voted to continue the games unfortunately ended up on the blue team. Desperation was reeking out of them far more than the foul smell everyone acquired. Those ‘weaker’ people from the red team, people who chose to go against the games, often refused to exchange gifts.

How does it feel to be below now, huh? The weird sense of satisfaction poked at you, but just as quickly as it had arrived, it left.

"The game will begin momentarily!" The robotic voice announced, you shifted from one foot to another, closer to Yeonjun and Beomgyu. The knife bore a heavy weight on Soobin’s hand, seriousness coating his expression and a sick feeling of understanding in his eyes as he twirled it in his hand. You hoped he’d be able to kill someone. As much as the thought made your stomach churn, it was the only way to have him come back to you.

"Blue team, please get ready to enter the arena."

Your eyes flickered up towards the door that was shaped like a lock this time, shoulders hunching as you moved alongside frightened and shaking hiders who would probably play sitting duck hiding behind doors that couldn’t be locked once opened. 

Your key jingled and swished around with every step of your feet, the metal cold and with a key that felt like heavy weight. If you maybe kept moving, unlocking doors, then maybe you’d have a shot without running. You’d just have to go door by door.

The bright yellow corridor you all walked through in a cramped crowd. It was almost as bright as the yellow sun, thanks to the lights that sharply shone and hit your eyes from the low ceiling above your heads. Warmth came from the brush of bodies that soon wouldn’t be warm anymore.

Then, the doors opened. Your eyes shone like the stars plastered on the ceiling, it was huge. Huge like a maze. The arena looked like a neighborhood, almost like the neighborhood your foster parents raised you in whenever dusk fell and you were still out there running around trying to get a proper taste of childhood in its dying moments.

The walls, more than halfway up, were made out of bricks. The way they followed wasn’t even, sometimes they followed a downwards slope to mimic the visual of steps you often had to follow down your house. Light grey, light yellow.

The ground made a shuffling sound of rocks, it wasn’t grainy, dusty as the particles flew around the light grey rocky material with every step, coating your blood stained shoes. The ceiling shone with stars of every size, but also every possible design. They were a shade lighter than the yellow of the hallway you had just passer, a contrast to the various shades of blue that was the background, the one that also was painted in the walls where the bricks didn’t cover. Houses were painted in these expanses, mirroring how kids would play in neighborhoods late at night.

Parents would often warn their kids of the dangers of staying out so late and going to play, and while most kids paid to mind and turned out well, these same kids now were playing with others who represented the danger their parents warned against.

"Shit," you mumbled, hand reaching up to steady yourself against the light post that you faced yourself with a few steps away from the entrance. It was made out of real wood, nostalgic. It didn’t give you splinters like the old ones nearby your foster house, but it was similar enough. The orange lights were enough. Judging by the tangle of wires that spread through the immense hallways of the arena that seemed endless, there were more of these.

"The taggers will enter in two minutes."

"Listen everyone. Let’s not hide and wait like sitting ducks! Whoever finds the exit first will shout and let everyone know!" You recognized the player as player 100, unsure of his name. He was one of the players who were so sure they’d survive these games with the upper hand, you wondered how he felt now. Maybe he finally understood why all of you wanted to leave.

"Good idea! Let’s help each other and then—then we get out of here alive!" 

It was a stupid idea. You, Yeonjun, and Beomgyu opted for not wasting time as you quickly vanished within one of the halls. Arguing was futile when no one would want to listen, desperate for an exit. But also because you didn’t know how grand this place was, no one in their right mind would be able to reach the ears of every player and even if they did, it was impossible to find an exit within two minutes and various locked doors. And if you did find an exit, it was more likely to be when the taggers came to find the hiders. No one would care for the survival of other players.

“Hide, hide, it’s time to play. Don’t let your hair give you away.”

You grimaced at the eerie voice of a child playing through the speakers, feet shuffling to move quicker to keep up with the guys who walked on either side of you. You were limping, uncomfortable as you placed one hand over your bump, the other gripped Yeonjun’s wrist.

“Hide, hide, it’s time to play. Don’t let your clothes give you away.”

Some of the areas were dimmer than the others, they really did think everything out. 

"Come on, be careful." Yeonjun’s hand wrapped around yours, carefully leading you up the steps as a way too concentrated, may-haps paranoid, Beomgyu looked from side to side before climbing despite the fact there were no taggers yet.

Together, you went up the steps. You moved in silent save for the sound of your steps against the floor, speaking too much could be deadly. Your breath was shaky, you tried to stifle it to the best of your abilities.

The speakers let out a loud, high buzzing noise. You didn’t flinch, neither of you did. You just kept moving because you knew what this meant. The taggers were finally inside the arena, now it was about survival for thirty minutes unless you found a door.

Once on a higher level platform, at least you thought it was by logic, though it didn’t apply to these games most times.. Yeonjun took the lead. Leaning over every corner to examine and watch out for players as Beomgyu kept both of his hands on your left arm. A steady presence despite it all.

"Let’s go." He murmured, facing one of the dark green shaded doors. He quickly reached for his key, the one that was dangling from the metal wrapped around his neck loosely, swinging around in front of his chest. He fumbled with the lock, but it didn’t open. The key didn’t fit.

Fuck. Of course they’d make it more complicated, just having the key to any door was far too easy for the hiders and more of a pain towards the taggers.

Yeonjun’s head quickly turned from the triangle shaped lock, landing onto you and Beomgyu. "Can I take a look?" He gestured towards both of your keys, with your nod, he lifted your key up to examine the shape. A triangle. "This is the one—can I borrow it?"

You nodded, a quick movement of your head to spare your words to not give your hiding spot away as you slid off the metal necklace around your neck to give Yeonjun the key.  It fit perfectly, as expected. Once twisted, the door made a sound signaling it had been opened, only for it to make a sharper sound as Yeonjun pushed it open. 

He smiled, relief flooding through every feature as he stepped a bit more within the room. You let your hand press against the rough wall for balance, moving inside. The room was a sharp contrast to the offered starry night outside, a mix of pinks, pale blues, yellows and rainbows with shapes to decorate the walls. The next door in front of you didn’t open with neither keys.

"Beomgyu, let me see yours." His hands slid off the necklace quickly, not a single moment to waste hesitating as he shoved his key inside Yeonjun’s open palm. 

"What is it?" You finally spoke up, curiosity tinging your voice at how Yeonjun seemed to manage this out so easily.

"Each door has a keyhole in a different shape, I think there are three— like the three guards we see. Circle, triangle, and square." His hands moved around as he explained, sometimes games that weren’t meant to be played as groups were made easier when you did. Hide and seek was often a person by themselves, but the old rules surely didn’t apply to this game. "We have all three. Mines is a circle, yours is a triangle, and Beomgyu’s is a square."

"We make a great team, this proves it." Yeonjun added, smiling. You couldn’t help but smile along—eyes sparkling. You three had a better shot of surviving this.

"We do, we really do. I have known since the pentathlon." Beomgyu agreed, fingers curling around Yeonjun’s hand to close his palm around the three keys he held. "In that case, you should be the one holding our keys, Yeonjun-ah. We’ll be able to more efficiently that way, you won’t have to keep stopping every now and then to reach for our keys."

"Is it really okay with all of you?" 

"Yeah, yeah. Go ahead." Your eyes focused on the lock, satisfaction bursting within you as the door opened with Beomgyu’s key. For the first few steps you took forward together, it was silent. But the true nature of this game started to show with one sharp, feminine scream. You halted, head jerking upwards as you looked for the source of the scream, feeling uneasy.

"Player 154, eliminated!”

Soon, it wasn’t just one. Various screams of agony and pleas filled your ears. Beomgyu tugged along your arm, jaw setting tighter as he forced himself to move forward. "Come on, we have to go. Can’t stay unmoving."

You opened and closed doors more often than not, five minutes within the game—you noted as one of the clocks offered up in the walls counted down from thirty. Footsteps of running players would often come near, enough for all of you to press against the wall. Tagger or hider, you wouldn’t try your luck. Both sides included people who lost their minds in order to try to survive.

A gurgling scream came next as you three forced your bodies away from the wall, Yeonjun’s arm now interlinking with yours like Beomgyu’s arm already had been. "We have to run."

No words were exchanged, your breath heaved loudly despite your best efforts to remain silent. Feet thudding against the floor in unison, enough to make your heart move wrongly inside your chest with every beat. The sounds were louder in the silence, drumming against your ears. 

"Player 089, eliminated!”

Yeonjun only looked back once, head peeking against the curve of a wall to see a tagger running in the background. Blood going cold, he quickly ushered you and Beomgyu to move forward, only to be met with a tagger right in front of you.

Your eyes locked with him. The world tilted in its axis as your lungs forgot to produce air for the moment you stood there longer than you should have stood. Prey and predator, you snapped out of that initial haze as Beomgyu’s moving feet hurled you and Yeonjun along the way.

"Come on!" He shouted. Your feet burned, you couldn’t breathe properly as you moved solely by being dragged. You got exhausted quickly, but despite how much your body screamed at you to stop running, begging for you to sit down and rest, you would just become an easy kill.

"Player 333, pass."

Of course Sunghoon would easily pass this game, he had no trouble doing things many would hesitate to do, especially when it came to himself. You learned it the hard way—he used people and then discarded them like filthy trash when they were no longer useful, once they no longer provided him with anything good.

Yeonjun’s hand was firm and ushering on your back, opting to stay behind the both of you for protection and better support to push you forward. You were met with a staircase, adrenaline pumping through your veins as the dim exit welcomed your vision, unlocked.

Beomgyu glanced at you once, letting go of your arm as he ran up the stairs with huffing breaths. Yeonjun grabbed your hand now instead, you followed, feet taking you as fast as you could up the steps. You reached for your stomach instead of the wall, making sure she was here instead of protecting yourself from any injuries.

The pain that burst through your body was enough to make a sob claw at your throat. It only didn’t come out because the force to which your ankle twisted at knocked any possible reaction out of you, your body thudding down the steps with the sound akin to one of a wounded animal. You groaned in pain, lying on your side unmoving. Your brain struggled to catch up, ears ringing as if someone had pressed your head underwater. You felt dizzy, breathing hurt, almost as if someone had sharply punched you in the ribs.

I’m going to die, was all you managed to think as your eyes filled with tears. The pain was too great, overwhelming every sense as you curled within yourself.

"Y/N!" Beomgyu shouted, following down the steps in a speed he wasn’t aware he was capable of. He dropped to his knees in front of you, the tagger soon reaching your view.

Yeonjun stepped in front of you and Beomgyu, hands out as if he was ready to take the tagger holding a knife in a hand to hand combat. 

"Step aside." He hissed, he was just as scared and desperate as you were. "I just need to kill that damn bitch." His voice shook with emotion— uneven and wavering like the waves in the beach, whether it was sadness or rage that coated it, you weren’t sure.

Your head fell back, tears falling down your cheeks as you made a feeble attempt at trying to roll your ankle. A sharp pain, sharper than the already throbbing one, shot up through your body and you stopped trying. Out of instinct, you pushed yourself back against the wall, feeling more useless and helpless than you’d ever felt in your whole life.

"Hey, Y/N. Look at me. We’ll be fine, okay?" Beomgyu tried to comfort you despite the fear in his voice, his eyes mirroring yours in shades of panic and terror. One arm of his wrapped around you, giving support, as his other hand forced your head to look at him.

He looked different. Almost like an animal—an actual prey. His eyes, wide and startled, met yours in a pathetic attempt of reassurance. "Don’t look at him. Look at me. You’re fine."

You couldn’t breathe, only gulp fractions of air as you weakly nodded. 

"Or give me the pretty boy." The tagger pointed his sharp blade forward, you knew how sharp that blade was. You had tested it yourself before exchanging your box with Soobin’s. It was a brutal way to die if your killer wasn’t merciful.

Yeonjun’s head slowly turned towards you and Beomgyu, both cornered against the wall like it would swallow you whole and keep you away from the threat. 

You didn’t speak, a silent communication spoken through your eyes. As terrified as you were, you didn’t want Yeonjun to get hurt. Please, you mentally begged, lip wobbling. Don’t do this.

Yeonjun turned his head towards the tagger, something protective taking a hold of his body as he tucked all the three keys hanging from his neck inside of his tracksuit jacket. His fists raised, defiance but also confidence emanated from his body, something darker shifting inside his eyes. What was a knife compared to a gun? A knife was nothing when you managed guns and led people. Dealing with high pressure moments was part of being a sergeant.

With a groan and ferocity, the red vested man swung the knife towards Yeonjun with a sharp sound, as if the wind itself had slashed under the merciless blade. Yeonjun stumbled backwards, Yeonjun pressed him against the wall, body jerking back at another swing of the blade. Player 224’s mouth was twisted in an animalistic way, bloodthirsty as he raised the knife to strike.

Yeonjun’s hand clamped around his wrist, spinning around with him as if it were a dance before using his body to press him against the wall again. Groans left both sides, desperation and rage with every move. They moved quickly, too fast for your eyes to follow. Yeonjun turned his body around, never letting go of the hand that held the knife as his back pressed against the player’s front, twisting his arm as he growled in pain. 

While they fought, Beomgyu’s arms wrapped around your torso. "We have to get out of here, give Yeonjun space." he ushered despite your shaking head, you were in no place to make decisions. He dragged you carefully to the bottom of the steps, your wrist limply dragging against the floor and scraping your skin as you bit your lip hard enough you could taste the metallic tang of blood coating your tastebuds.

Yeonjun’s elbow met the bones of the guy’s face three times, forcing his arm downwards so strongly it was sure to snap one of his tendons. He barely allowed himself a gulp of air, body moving on muscle memory. A pained groan left him as hands gripped his hair, eyes locked on the knife and the way it shifted to point upwards.

"Fuck!" The guy screamed hoarsely, with an opening, both of his hands slipped below two spots in his arm, swinging the guy up and above his head until he hit the ground. His knee hit the ground next to his head, forcing the knife out of his hands as Yeonjun quickly lifted his hand to strike.

"Wait— wait, no!" He pleaded, struggling as he weakly lifted up his hand to curl around Yeonjun’s wrist, attempting to not get stabbed by his own weapon. A sharp growl and strings of groans left Yeonjun’s throat, ricocheting off of the walls as both of his hands held the handle of the knife as he used every bit of his strength to push the knife down. He only stopped when he heard the squelch of blood, the knife tearing the skin of his chest until the player remained unmoving, mouth open in a silent scream and eyes glossy.

"Player 224, eliminated!”

You were trembling, sat on the third step as you tried your best to not pay attention to the pain. Beomgyu’s hands were shakily holding your own, he had stopped attempting to drag you up the steps once your expression became too filled with pain. Yeonjun breathed in relief, a hand over his chest as he tucked the stolen knife inside his pocket with the blade facing upwards in order to not cut himself.

"Let me take a look." He whispered, hands almost reverent and as careful as they could be rolled up the fabric of your pants. You whimpered at the contact, eyes locked with your wound.

It was ugly. There was no way you hadn’t busted your ankle. It already had taken a shade of unnatural purple, mingling with the angry red of irritation from your skin. "Can you walk?"

Your mind flickered back to the guy back in red light green light. His ankle was torn far worse than yours. Was this how he felt? Or was this just a fraction of what he was feeling moments before he died? 

You couldn’t walk. At least not as effectively as before, you would just bring them down. But you nodded, knowing neither Beomgyu nor Yeonjun would leave you behind.

"Let’s go, then. Anyone who heard us will come this way."  Quickly, you fell into a slower pace as Yeonjun wrapped his arms around yours. Beomgyu and him exchanged a glance, counting to three before lifting you to your feet. The pain never ceased, it just worsened as your body weight put pressure onto it. You forced all the sobs wrapping like wire around your throat down, gasping as you stepped up the stairs.

"Careful, don’t hurt yourself." Beomgyu ushered, being as quick as he could manage while looking behind constantly. Just in case.

Yeonjun opened another door as quickly as he could manage, Beomgyu shut it behind as you limped your way inside. It became an unspoken routine, not ideal but necessary to survive. Whatever worked, you followed.

"Player 374, pass."

Through the pain, as the familiar voice announced Soobin’s name, you couldn’t help but smile. You met Beomgyu’s eyes, who looked more relieved than anything. Soobin did it. It didn’t take too long— he would just have to come find all of you now. "He did it." You whispered, voice cracking at places but still unbelievably glad.

"He’ll come find us now." Beomgyu grinned, glancing at Yeonjun who had already rushed to open the door in front of the wall to which all of you pressed up against once no footsteps were audible anymore. 

"Try to not get caught up on it, it’ll be hard to find us. This place is big." Yeonjun reached for you, already bringing both you and Beomgyu towards your door.

"He promised me." You argued quickly, fierce. Despite all the pain you felt, despite the dread and sick fear that made you feel like not moving, you still trusted Soobin more than anything. Anyone could see that.

"Player 198, eliminated!"

Trust as big as this was hard to come across in a game where people had to kill one another to survive.

Without further arguing, Yeonjun pursed his lips and nodded. You moved slowly, body barely able to push forward had it not been for the support of other two solid ones. Your ruined ankle dragged behind you, a heavy weight you couldn’t control. 

A sickening scream reached nearby, all of you stopped. Yeonjun was already searching for the nearest door, rushing to open it for a safe place to stay for a little while.

"Hang in there, we’re almost there." Beomgyu reassured, but neither of you knew how far away the exit was or how much time there really was left. 

"This way." Yeonjun was back at your side as the door clinked open. The room inside was themed like the ocean, walls painted in lighter shades of mixing blues. Jellyfishes were plastered against the wall out of paper, fishes too. It was beautiful, safe enough to stay. No other doors connected to this room, meaning the only exit you had to guard as the one you came through.

You limped your way inside the room, hitting the floor as you sat down against the wall, unable to hold back your pained whimpers by now. 

"Let me look." He mumbled, sliding off your shoe. So little time had passed, and yet your ankle worsened. From the purple and red mingling tones, it started to swell up. It wasn’t something that would heal quickly. 

"Is it sprained?" Beomgyu asked breathlessly, eyes locked onto the wound.

"Her ankle might be fractured, she shouldn’t walk on it." Yeonjun sighed, shaking his head. Despite his initial reluctance, he was glad he brought the knife from the other player with him. "For now, let’s just hide in here and see how things go."

You shook your head, forcing it away from the wall where it had tipped against. Sweat coated your face, hair clinging to your forehead. "Don’t do that just for me, I’ll stay here alone. I’m just going to hold all of you back, go and find the exit and leave." 

Beomgyu shook his head, gripping your arm just a bit tighter. He refused to let anyone else die. "We promised Soobin we’d take care of you. I’m not leaving—" he paused, looking at Yeonjun. In a beat of silence, he was making a choice on what to say, even if he already knew the answer. "You should go, Yeonjun. If anyone is more capable of winning this or finding an exit, it’s you."

Yeonjun didn’t reply, not at first. Instead, his head turned towards the four corners of the room. The time plastered against one of the walls marked fifteen minutes and thirty seconds. You were already almost halfway through.

Another wave of pain hit your body. But this time not from your ankle. You felt like you were hyperventilating, breathing too fast as your shoulders hunched. It was a greater pain than you had ever experienced your whole entire life, burning your nerves and making your head dizzy. You stared past your parted legs, half expecting it wasn’t what you knew it was.

"Y/N? Y/N, what’s going on?" Beomgyu tapped your cheek, his question answered by the liquid leaking through your pants and soaking the ground beneath you. His eyes went wide, the world freezing in that single moment.

"Her water broke." Yeonjun’s voice cracked, hands shaky as they hovered above you— your legs, thighs, but never quite touching. 

"What do we do?" Beomgyu hissed, your face was already contorting in pain. It was a pain far more cruel than the destiny of being subjected to pain by the knife of a red vested player. The tears came back, hot and unwavering down your cheeks.

"We need her on her back, come on. Help me out." Yeonjun rasped out, arms underneath your torso as Beomgyu gripped the underside of your thighs, lying your upper body down against the cold floor. Your knees were bent, pain from your ankle and pain from your body tearing open to bring life mingling together in a recipe for pure agony.

Beomgyu unzipped his tracksuit jacket, hastily pulling it off as he settled it above your legs. Your pants and underwear came off next, the pain far too great for you to even complain or feel shy about it. One of your hands rested above the swell of your stomach, a cry sharp and pained leaving you as you bit down on the sleeves of your own jacket. 

"In and out, come on, breathe." Beomgyu was shaking all over, you could tell he had only the basic idea of what giving birth was like. He was almost as terrified as you were in pain. "Try to stay quiet, they’ll end up finding us."

You pushed to the best of your abilities, back arching off of the floor as your head thudded back against it. You didn’t even register the dull throb, it was minor against the throbbing pain of your body prying open. "Just a little more, come on, push." 

You screamed against the fabric, feeling how your saliva soaked through it. Everything hurt, your hands scrambling to grip something—anything. But you couldn’t find anything. You wished Soobin was here.

You wished he found you right now. That he would be here to hold your hand and tell you it would be okay with the same tenderness in his eyes he held whenever he looked at you. 

You were lightheaded, mind calling out for him, hoping that he would find you somehow in this exact moment across the expanse of the arena. 

"Yeonjun-ah," Beomgyu called out shakily, quickly meeting Yeonjun’s eyes who had been peering outside through a slant of the slightly open door, keeping guard. "Come hold Y/N’s hand."

Your grip was almost deadly, suffocating Yeonjun’s hand as it curled around yours. You couldn’t process anything else, you just wanted to let out the pain somewhere. Your skull thudded against the floor again, body tensing and locking up. 

"Hey, come on, you can do this." Yeonjun whispered, placing his other hand beneath the back of your head in order to stop you from hurting yourself further.

"Ready? Y/N, I need you to push again. You’re so close." Beomgyu reassured, hands beneath the draped fabric of his jacket above your thighs. You squeezed your eyes shut, another cry tearing through you while being muffled by the sleeve of the jacket. Your free hand reached to press against the wall next to you, unsure if your body would even be able to handle another second of this agony. You felt like you were about to pass out from the pain.

"Oh, oh shit—I can see the head." Beomgyu’s own head raised from between your thighs, a desperate smile on his face before he ducked down again. "One more push, come on."

Every time he said one more push, you felt as if it stretched into eternity. But you fought for your baby so hard already, what was one more push?

Yeonjun’s eyes darted from your face towards the clock, nearly down to ten minutes now. The game was almost over, you just hoped fate would be merciful enough to conceal all of you inside the room.

One final scream ripped through you, then a cry. Soft, high pitched. You were shaking, body hurting everywhere. Beomgyu gasped, not realizing he had been crying along with you until they fell against the bloodied skin of your baby. It cried in his arms, a shudder of relief leaving you as Yeonjun let out a laugh of disbelief—or relief, maybe both.

Your eyes finally opened, looking at your baby girl for the first time. All of the pain seemed worth it now that you looked at her. So small, so perfect. And she was all yours. She was fragile, all soft skin and pliant in Beomgyu’s arms. "Yeonjun-ah, take her, hand me the blade." 

"Oh my god." Yeonjun whispered in disbelief, carefully reaching for your daughter with eyes filled with curiosity and care. Beomgyu’s hand reached for the blade peeking from Yeonjun’s pocket, grabbing the umbilical cord and bending it in an arch before cutting it. Separating your baby from the home it once made inside your body.

"Y/N." Yeonjun looked at you, meeting your tired face with a smile. Your legs finally closed, shaky as Beomgyu let the knife clatter against the ground to take the baby from Yeonjun’s arm, using his jacket to now carefully wrap your daughter in it. Yeonjun helped you sit up, warm hands letting you lean against the wall.

A sob clawed out of your throat, head falling forward as your arms held your daughter for the first time. One of you was crying out of relief, one was crying because she just arrived into the world. She was beautiful—you thought, a gentle finger tracing the skin of her cheek. 

"Eun-seo.." you murmured, chest trembling with emotion.

It was short lived. Fate had a brutal way of reminding you where you were, that you couldn’t have nice things.

The door pushed open, a player in a red vest and a crazed look into his eyes that asked—no, demanded for blood appeared. A manic smile spread as he looked at you holding your daughter with a predatory grin. Instinctively, you held Eun-seo just a bit tighter. 

It was a moment of silence. The player’s eyes darted to Yeonjun’s hand gripping the blade he stole from the guy he killed. A split second later, he was already lunging with a shout. Yeonjun pushed himself to his feet, his own knife swishing and clanging with the other’s in the air. Eun-seo’s cries alongside the grim reality she had to witness while barely being in the world for five minutes filled the air.

Yeonjun held the player back, grunting as the knife swished in front of his face. He was forced outside of the room, the force of him pushing back futile as the guy shoved him against the rocky wall outside. Both bodies hit the ground in separate ways, the loud clang of Yeonjun hitting the trash can spreading through the facility. He wasted no time, already propping himself on his elbows and pushing back as the guy lunged towards him with a knife.

He was different from the other one. There were no ceremonies.

The guy grabbed his pantleg, holding him in place. He was surprisingly strong, landing the blade inside his leg. A cry of pain left Yeonjun, who was already trying to retract his leg. Warm blood sprayed out of his wound onto the face of the other player, who already stood to swing at his neck. Yeonjun grabbed his arm that held the knife, raising his own to stab his waist before hauling the guy above and over him to the ground. Despite his wounded leg, he swung and tried to hit him to the best of his abilities.

"FUCK!" Yeonjun shouted as he was pushed against a door, unluckily for him, open. It burst behind his back, the guy already onto him swinging similar to how he had been. He ducked down, arms wrapping around his waist and hurling the guy to the ground as he hit it along him. Yeonjun stood up quicker, pressing himself against a wall.

The guy was no doubt crazy and thirsty for survival. The pointy tip of his knife forced its way towards Yeonjun’s head. Yeonjun held both of his arms, mustering up the strength and grip in the guy’s hand to throw him chest first against the wall, locking his arm between his own as he reached for the knife player 073 gripped on for dear life. 

Once it eased out of his grip, Yeonjun’s arm met the guy’s neck in a headlock. Silencing his cries with the lack of air his grip provided. He pressed the knife once into his chest, the loud squelch sealing his fate. Pulling it back, he plunged it into his body three more times before letting go.

He was panting, gulping for air as his eyes snapped towards the open door. Another red vested player, wide eyed and terrified by the battle, watched as Yeonjun’s blood soaked hand holding the knife cleaned the corner of his mouth, streaking his face with blood. Despite Yeonjun’s blue vest, he scurried off without a second thought. 

He hadn’t even noticed the door behind him, maybe he had, just had not registered it. Not the metal lock requiring all three keys, the exit.

"Player 073, eliminated!”

Good, Yeonjun thought as his shoulders sagged, standing still to catch his breath. Run off like a little bitch.

He grimaced, eyeing his stabbed leg. He would have to keep moving. Go back to you and Beomgyu. In limps, he moved forward. But once his brain drained from adrenaline, it finally dawned onto him. His head snapped backwards towards the metal lock, above the door, it clearly said exit.

As quickly as he could limp, Yeonjun’s shaky hands reached for all three keys. He slid them into each respective keyhole, twisting them with loud clangs before opening the door. He pushed it open.

A soft, almost golden light in the room greeted him. Polished, safe. His lips quirked up in a smile, feet nearly crossing the threshold as a congratulatory song played above. But he halted.

You. Your pained face and sprained ankle. Beomgyu’s trusting smile as he handed him the baby.

He walked back, a trail of blood left behind as he used all of his strength. You’d all survive. Be safe. Soobin had already killed someone, which meant you’d meet him as soon as you were led back into the room.

He walked back, a trail of blood left behind as he used all of his strength. You’d all survive. Be safe. Soobin had already killed someone, which meant you’d meet him as soon as you were led back into the room. He pushed the door open, meeting Beomgyu’s startled eyes and your hoping gaze. It filled him with warmth, the way you two counted on him.

"Yeonjun-ah!" Beomgyu greeted in a smile, glad to see him alive. 

"I found the exit." Yeonjun’s voice shook, hopeful and proud. "We can get out of here together." He heaved, gripping the door handle for balance. "Come on, quickl—"

Hope was always the easiest thing to be destroyed. You could easily pick it up like a fragile thing, toss it beneath your feet, and crush it without questioning how it would make others feel. You always felt like that as a kid, every time a couple walked into the orphanage year after year, they always had a pleased glance as they examined the kids like meat in the market.

At first, you hoped you would be taken in soon. That you would find loving parents.

"Don’t worry, you’ll be adopted soon. Just have patience, Y/N." One of the mothers in the orphanage comforted your broken six year old heart, hand patting the top of your head as you clung to her skirt and wept. You felt lonely.

But you weren’t adopted that year. And not the year after, nor the other.

They’d always say the same thing year after year. You stopped believing it at some point, when they took the closest person you had to a friend, you stopped feeling hopeful and accepted you weren’t good enough to be wanted as a daughter.

But now, this was different.

Your expression shifted from relief to horror at the squelch of blood. Yeonjun’s expression shifted from happy, to pained. He didn’t scream, it wasn’t a dramatic death. It was just the drop of a smile, the clang of his knife against the ground as the swishing knife against his back left and plunged again. He opened his mouth, not to scream, but to spit out blood.

His eyes filled with tears in his last moments. Heavy but also fulfilled as they met your own terrified gaze and Beomgyu’s expression struck with a mix of disbelief and pained denial. 

Even in his last moments, he smiled. It’s okay. He tried to convey, not trying to seem too much at pain despite how his mind fogged up, how he couldn’t hold his body upwards anymore. His eyes rolled back with a pitiful strangled noise, and he fell to the ground.

"Yeonjun.." you rasped out, struggling to grapple and compare his lifeless eyes to the ones that were gleaming just moments ago. Your breath stuttered as you gazed at the player who killed him. Heart stopping, pressing Eun-seo closer to your chest.

Sunghoon.

Of course he would be the one to ruin something good for you. He had already passed the game, but his bloodthirsty and money seeking aided mind wouldn’t be satisfied with killing just one player. More players dead from the blue team meant more money, less players to kill meant people from the red team would die.

Sunghoon panted, not bothering to look further into the room as he examined Yeonjun’s dead body. But finally, he saw you.

You and Beomgyu looked like two cornered animals, Beomgyu was holding one of your arms tightly, coiled like a spring before he stood up and raised his fists. He wasn’t the best fighter, not like Yeonjun was. But he refused to let you die, not when you just met your daughter.

Sunghoon wasn’t looking at Beomgyu. His world blurred to the sides and focused on you. Your unbelieving expression, full of fear and tears. Your— his baby crying now more quietly in your arms. He felt his knees weaken for once, like jelly. Eun-seo cried louder in your arms, likely due to the commotion.

His knife lowered. Eyes filling with tears as if the moment was tender. It would be if you weren’t terrified. Not of his knife, but of him.

"Park Sunghoon." A voice from behind called, the voice was undoubtedly Taehyun’s voice. It was calculated, almost annoyed and stressed as the sounds of footsteps drew closer. So they did end up partnering up after all.

Beomgyu’s face hardened, especially at the sound of Taehyun’s voice. He shuffled forward a bit more, covering your frame with his own. 

"Yeah?" He swallowed hard, not meeting Taehyun’s face who had already perked up from a dead body he had just killed.

"What’s going on? Are there any more players left in there?"

"No, there aren’t." Sunghoon finally concluded, a bit quicker than necessary as he shut the door. "Let’s go the other way."

Beomgyu broke a little further when he finally let his arms sag on either sides of his body, a sob wrecking his body as he kneeled carefully down next to Yeonjun. "Hyung.. no, please. Not you too." He stuttered out, hands caressing his hair in one last comforting motion.

You wanted to scream. Cry, break something, but all you managed were sobs. You couldn’t even move properly towards Yeonjun’s lying limp body, feeling helpless had always been something you hated. 

This game was good at throwing things you hated straight at you.

Beomgyu’s body doubled over, pressing his trembling lips to Yeonjun’s sweat coated forehead as his hands shut his eyes. Rest in peace. He looked peaceful, it was the part that ached and made your skin burn the most. A small smile still somehow held itself up, looking like he was dreaming rather than dying in a pool of his own blood.

"Player 454, eliminated!”

It took Beomgyu a few seconds to finally move, reaching underneath the tangled mess of Yeonjun’s sweat and blood wetted hair to pull out all three keys. He clung to them like a lifeline to his shaking hands, turning towards you.

"Yeonjun-ah said he found the exit, then I’m sure it’s somewhere nearby." His throat bobbed, standing up. 

"Can’t we just stay here until it’s over?" You sniffled, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. 

"Too dangerous. Someone will hear your baby and come to kill us." 

As quickly and gently as he could, Beomgyu helped you slide on your tracksuit pants and underwear. "Here, give me her." Beomgyu extended his arms, you complied, letting Eun-seo be taken by the safety of Beomgyu’s arms. You threw one arm over his shoulder, bringing yourself up and then using the wall as a support.

"Player 113, eliminated!"

At every mention of a dead player, your body tensed further. Limping in pain, you held back all of your pained groans despite all you wanting to do was pass out. Maybe sleep, anything. But you stayed put, following Beomgyu who had his eyes set on the trail of blood Yeonjun’s stabbed leg had left behind towards the exit.

Every step felt wrong, filled with anxiety and the sheer chance of a red team player rounding the corner and finding you. Thankfully, the exit wasn’t too far. The green door peered open into a room where the three keyholes waited like a prize.

The timer was already down to three minutes, but you knew better than to wait here when fate could bend and twist in another cruel manner. 

Once in the room, you examined the keyholes. Three shapes. They really didn’t mean to make it that easy for the hiders.

"Hold her for a second." Beomgyu handed Eun-seo over, reaching into his pockets to fish out the three keys. You watched with hopefulness as the keys fit perfectly, twisting and unlocking. One step closer to freedom.

With every clank that meant the door unlocked, you glanced towards the open green door. Even if leaving was guaranteed, someone stumbling upon you wasn’t. 

The last key slid into its keyhole one last time.

But you weren’t alone.

The figure of a girl who looked more desperate than ever appeared. The patch— player 036. Wonhee. She didn’t look like the sweet, smiling girl who comforted you in the bathroom. When she looked at you and Beomgyu, she barely acknowledged the baby. Instead, she looked relieved.

That’s when you realized. Throughout the entire game, you hadn’t heard her number being called out as a pass.

"Beomgyu.." you whispered shakily, both of you now looking at Wonhee. All of you wanted to live, but one of you would have to die for that to happen. There was no way out of this.

There was no escaping the primal instinct that screamed for survival.

"Unnie.." she uttered, eyes dazed with fear and the urge to kill. She stepped into the room, every step that echoed in your ears made you press closer to Beomgyu. 

"No. Stay back." Beomgyu took a step forward before you could grab his arm, standing defensively in front of you. 

"Wonhee. You don’t have to do this." You pleaded, voice cracking.

"I couldn’t do it, unnie." She sobbed, pressing the knife against her forehead. Not the tip, just the flat side of the blade. Like she felt remorse. "I couldn’t kill anyone."

Deep down, you knew she didn’t. She wanted to go home as much as you did.

"I’m going to die, are you going to let me die?!" She shouted, breaking under the pressure of the timer and the game. "Unnie, you wanted to get out of here. I want to go home too, I don’t want to die."

She took another step forward, eyes flickering over to Beomgyu. "I couldn’t kill anyone." She spoke, voice barely above a whisper. 

"Don’t you fucking dare." Beomgyu spat, unmoving.

"One minute left!"

She lunged, knife raised clumsily towards Beomgyu’s head. He dodged easily, body swaying to the side as his hands gripped the strands of her long hair, yanking her to the floor. A grunt left her lips, choking in her own desperation and tears. She didn’t let go of her knife.

"Don’t do this to yourself." Beomgyu warned, not having it. Pity wasn’t something you could offer, even if it made you a killer. Not here.

But she was losing her mind. Wonhee stood up one last time, swinging the knife aimlessly as Beomgyu staggered back towards the exit. You cried because you didn’t want either of them to die, but you were powerless to stop death. Grief dug a sharper blade into your heart, tearing it open and carving itself there like a searing, burning mark. 

She was just a terrified girl. She wasn’t meaning to do harm, all Wonhee wanted was to go home. Her once sparkly, concerned self when she held your crying frame in the bathroom died before she even did. This game was structured to bring out the worst in you if you didn’t fight. She clearly didn’t.

You wished it was you. Even if you didn’t want to die, the fact that so many people died with you being involved in it or because of you made self-hatred bite you in the ankle like a venomous snake. 

Beomgyu quickly pushed himself off of the wall as her blade hit it, breaking the sharp metal from its handle. She didn’t care. Wonhee grabbed the blade sharply, a cry tearing from her lips as the material sliced her palms. She still staggered forward, tossing herself with all her might on top of Beomgyu.

Just as she was about to strike Beomgyu straight in the stomach, a figure hauled her backwards. Wonhee let out a shriek, the sickening squelch of flesh prying open reaching your ears loudly despite the lack of vision you had.

"Fuck! Fuck, let me go!" She screamed, squirming in the hold of the man who held her.

Taehyun.

Taehyun’s eyes didn’t hold hesitation, they held intention. His eyes met Beomgyu’s shocked ones, who hadn’t moved, just witnessed the scene. "What are you doing? Go! Fucking move and get out of here!"

Wonhee twisted and turned, finally managing to strike the blade through Taehyun’s shoes. A shout of pain left him, his hands weakening in her hair. One of her hands covered the stab wound inflicted on her shoulder, letting it droop lower than her other one than her unharmed one. Fifteen seconds.

When she lunged against Taehyun, they disappeared into a corner. What came next was blood, screams and shouts both feminine and masculine.

Beomgyu didn’t waste any more time. Time was lacking, but it didn’t guarantee safety. He rushed inside the room, finding you already sliding the last key into the keyhole, rushing towards you to twist the knob as soon as the last lock opened.

"Player 036, eliminated!”

"Player 001, eliminated!”

Beomgyu had wanted Taehyun dead at first. But the fact he saved his life and your life made his opinions switch. Maybe he would never understand why Taehyun voted to continue, that secret would be taken to the black coffin wrapped in a pink ribbon. But it settled like another heavy weight inside his chest.

The group you all formed started with six people. Now, you are down to three.

The timer beeped to zero before you could manage to twist the knob, announcing the end of the game.

"The game has ended!"

Neither you nor Beomgyu looked for the bodies. Couldn’t. You stood there looking at each other, tears streaming down silently as he wrapped you in a hug. You cried not only because of relief or survival, but because you grieved together over the people you two grew to care about despite knowing you shouldn’t.

    THE RESTLESS sound of anxious footsteps clanged above the metal steps next to the bunks. Choi Soobin couldn’t help but look towards the door that led inside the main lobby, wondering where you were. Why was it taking so long? He hadn’t heard your number called in the speakers, neither did Beomgyu’s—

His mind flashed towards the earlier moments. Chasing down blue vested players inside the facility hadn’t been easy. He was standing along, head held high as he stepped through the yellow corridor and inside the almost neighborhood-like arena. It expanded in stretched corridors, endless doors, and escape routes.

He took one of the exits where no other taggers went.

Even if all of these hallways met in a single middle room, the chances of finding a player and not having to fight for them would be lower. He didn’t rush, surely, the hiders were on the edge. Ears open more than usual to any wound that would mean a tagger is coming. Within every edge, he turned and perked around. 

He could also come across as a hider, if that would do. Soobin observed that most players acted by despair, not by logic. They didn’t think, they just searched for the quickest exit.

Six within the game, and Soobin still somehow hadn’t found anyone. He heard the occasional shuffling, the screams that pierced through his eardrums, but against his luck, no players. Occasionally, he walked past other taggers who had either been searching for players to kill, or were just walking around after completing their task.

He hadn’t meant to stumble with them.

The door in front of him as his hand hovered above the knob opened too suddenly, a player with a blue vest— a middle aged woman, stumbled back against his chest with blood squirting from her neck. She was gurgling, alive, but in agony. Whoever was playing with her planned to let her suffer, the stab wasn’t in a lethal spot.

His heart skipped a beat. If she wasn’t dead, then he could kill her and take the credits. Wrong as it was, survival didn’t care about rules.

His knife that had been idly swinging next to his thigh was gripped firmer, raised to her knife as one of his arms wrapped around her neck to prevent her from moving.

"P-please—" she croaked out, color draining from her face. It wasn’t quite clear if she was begging for mercy or for Soobin to put her out of her misery.

"That’s my kill, let go of her." Player 333 snarled, surging through the door with blood splattered all over his face in front of him. 

He had already passed. He was just trying to eliminate competition. Soobin was sure that just moments ago, his number had been called. Their eyes locked, but Sunghoon couldn’t attack Soobin. It was forbidden.

Screw basic common sense.

Soobin’s knife was quick, swishing through the air in a clean strike as he twisted it inside the skull of the woman. She stopped struggling, her wounds spurting blood in his already dirtied uniform as she fell to the ground. "You already passed, don’t get too greedy."

"Player 374, pass."

"I know you." The player snorted, stepping closer as his jaw slid horizontally. His knife was raised up in the air, not meaning to be harmful. Just an object to taunt. "Weren’t you the motherfucker who started the voting thing?" He paused, looking at Soobin up and down. "The one walking around with that lady. She was walking kind of funny, y’know? Did you find time to fool around with her?"

His words weren’t so teasing. They were laced with bitterness and jealousy. Jealousy over someone who he couldn’t stake the claim over.

"Leave her out of your fucking mouth." Soobin warned, stepping forward. He wasn’t afraid of that knife, if the guy killed him, he’d die as well. 

"Why? What are you going to do, kill me?" Sunghoon tutted, pressing the tip of the knife against Soobin’s throat. Neither of them moved, a silent challenge in the air. "You’re pathetic. I wonder why she chose you out of every man she could’ve picked."

It wasn’t hard to connect the dots. The discomfort plastered beneath all of that cocky confidence, there was no doubt this was the baby’s—no, Eun-seo’s biological father.

"Unlike you, I can compete and show what love is instead of going ahead and trying to make shitty attempts that you call amends." His knife raised, pressing against the side of Sunghoon’s throat. There was no aggressiveness or violence, but the threat was there. If you stab me, I stab you. If I die, you also die.

"Yah, Park Sunghoon." A bored voice filtered through the tense atmosphere, Taehyun walked a few moments after. He stood still as he saw the situation—they were literally at each other’s throat. "Are you stupid? You’re going to get yourself killed. He’s not worth our time."

Snickering and pushing his tongue against the corner of his mouth, Sunghoon hesitatingly brought his knife down, a vein popping in his forehead out of annoyance. He didn’t like being interrupted, least of all being wrong. "You’re lucky you swapped with her. You’d be the first fucker I’d come after and have the satisfaction to kill."

Soobin didn’t waver. He stood there, refusing to break eye contact or do so much as blink. His hand, which held the handle of the knife, didn’t move. At least not until Sunghoon stepped back.

"Stop it, you’re being stupid." Taehyun scolded, exchanging glances with Soobin one last time before he turned the opposite way, leaving him behind with Sunghoon trailing right after him.

Obviously, not without shooting him the middle finger.

But throughout the entirety of the game, with each scream and rip of flesh, he hadn’t managed to catch a single flash of you or the others. Yeonjun had died, that much he was aware of. It made his gut twist, but he forced himself to press forward, to look for you.

The only reassurance he had of you being alive was the fact your number hadn’t been called in the speakers.

The clang of the door opening ahead of him scattered his thoughts, players from the blue team walking in with a new layer of trauma clinging to every fiber of their beings. Some were shaken up, some were hollow. Some are still terrified.

A cry of a baby came next.

Soobin froze, a faltering step pressing forward as you surged through the door with Beomgyu. Beomgyu looked exhausted, you looked more worn down than ever. His arm was wrapped around your torso, and in your arms, a little bundle who wouldn’t stop crying.

His whole world stopped.

Your eyes met his next, so, so painfully tired but so happy to finally see him. Soobin took one step forward, then another, and another until he was running towards your limping form held up by Beomgyu, who wasn’t doing any better.

"Y/N!" He shouted, hands trembling so hard they were unsure where to land. They opted to hold your face as Beomgyu finally let go of you, already moving towards the carefully arranged bunks you all had been sleeping in these past few days. "Are you okay? Why are you limping?"

His questions came out in a rapid speech, unsure what to ask first or if he should apologize for not being able to find you.

His breath shook, eyes wide with flooding relief. And then he caught the baby’s face—she was so beautiful. She looked like you, some of the traces undoubtedly belonged to Sunghoon, but she was still beautiful. "Oh my god."

A smile broke across your face despite the exhaustion, nodding with teary eyes in a way that broke his heart and made it ache at the same time. "She’s so tiny.." he trailed off, all words he had planned to say when she arrived dying in his throat. His finger caressed her cheek, marveling at the softness of her skin.

"Do you want to hold her?" You asked, already extending Eun-seo towards Soobin.

He shook his head, Soobin had already noticed the way you were walking funny, the way your skin was unnaturally purple as it peeked through the space between your shoes and pants. "Let’s sit first, come on. I’ll help you."

Killing someone had never been in Soobin’s plans, but if it meant you were safe, that your daughter was safe, then it didn’t matter much.

   YOU SAT WITH YOUR LEGS stretched in front of you, finally resting after this game took so much effort for you to complete. Beomgyu was sitting by the edge of the bed, knees tucked into his chest as he watched Soobin hold your daughter. She was crying anymore, just cooing in Soobin’s arms.

He looked at her with something akin to awe, all tension draining from his body. "Hi, Eun-seo." He cooed, he was the happiest he’d ever looked since arriving inside the games. "It’s daddy."

Your heart felt fuzzy, unable to keep your eyes off of them. Something about Soobin saying ‘it’s daddy’ felt right. Like it was meant to happen, meant to have always been there. Maybe in another universe, far away from this one, Eun-seo was actually his. In a universe where you would be able to pursue your dreams and live with no financial worries or stress of death.

Eun-seo had long ago stopped crying since she settled into Soobin’s arms, it was almost instinctual the way she quieted down with a feeling of belonging.

"I promise I’ll get you and your mommy out of here." He whispered, not audible to your ears. Her hand was warm, tiny and trusting as it wrapped around his index finger. It was a tender moment. He couldn’t disappoint her.

Even if she couldn’t quite place how heavy a promise deep as this was. His lips landed on top of her head, a pinky promise kiss. She was far too small to even tie her pinky around his.

It was a beautiful sight. It put your heart at ease to see how well Soobin handled Eun-seo with so much tenderness. If he had already been soft with you, this was just another part of him bared whole. Blossoming softly and quietly to welcome something so precious, something you offered. Almost like the flowers blossoming quietly at the attention of the sun during spring. Eun-seo’s fragility brought all of it out.

She started crying soon after, sharp. Discomfort painting her figures— you were still new to this, hell, you didn’t know anything about babies before getting pregnant. And it wasn’t like this place would offer guidance. Still, your instincts drove you to extend your arms, a quiet plea.

"I think she’s hungry." Soobin searched your face for some sort of reassurance— both you completely clueless, but still figuring it out.

"I don’t know if she is." You took Eun-seo into your arms, this would be your reality for the next few months— figuring out everything about her. "But I’ll try."

You reached for the hem of your shirt, pulling it upwards above one of your breasts, easing your bra out of you as carefully as you could to not make Eun-seo more fussy than she already was. 

The first time she latched onto your nipple, cries soothing down to gulping noises as you held her upwards in a cradle, you forgot to breathe. This. No, she was the reason why you pushed through so much. The reason why you didn’t give up even when it seemed impossible. You met your reason to move forward, and now it was her turn to rely on you.

THE SOUND OF LAUGHTER was rich, mingling with the crinkle of glasses that tapped together in joyous conversations that heaved with excitement. It hadn’t been too long since the VIPs had arrived, those who arrived earlier got to be in the last game as guards, taking out players for a more vivid experience of what it is to kill rather than to just sit back and relax. The table rounded in a pentagon to accommodate each and every one of the masked people, bored and rotten billionaires who had nothing else to bet on that found people dying funny.

If people broken down by poverty were ugly, the rich were broken down by greed.

Above the room, the ceiling was flat atop. A wooden, rich perfect design that rose higher into a pentagon shape above the dinner table to shine a soft, white lighting into the dishes being provided. 

"You know, dear host. I’ve always enjoyed watching it from the outside." A rich voice spoke to break the silence, each VIP sizing each other up in silence as if to say ‘I’m better.’ But all of them were rotting from the inside out equally. "But it was a pleasurable experience to put on the uniforms and take part in the games. Nothing can compare to it."

The glass filled with expensive wine that was enough to make most people’s nose contort at the smell was lifted to his lips, the liquid sloshing at the movements. "It brings me back to when I was back in Africa hunting in the wilderness. They looked almost like animals."

"I’ve done plenty of hunting before, but this was on another level. You truly exceeded our expectations this year, dear hosts. The players too, they count me very intrigued." A sultry voice chided in, adding onto the very pleased expressions of the invited ones.

"Ugh, was I the only one who didn’t go?" A guy groaned in complaint, head tossing backwards before flinging back into place. Always careful to not slide off his bull mask. His hand smacked against the expensive fabric of his beige suit, annoyance in his movements. "My fucking driver was late, and I paid that motherfucker so much money to make sure that wouldn’t happen, too."

"Are you sure your driver was the problem? Or were you just too drunk to wake up on time?" A rich laughter left her lips, amusement flickering in the features that her mask didn’t show.

"You wanna know something? When you actually shut up, you can make yourself look kind of attractive." The other enunciated, his eye roll practically audible through his tone.

"Back to our dear host," Someone else chided in, breaking apart the banter. "The work you’ve done here is top notch. Not only letting us watch the games, but also letting us participate."

"I’m always bettering the experience within the games to please my guests to the best of my abilities." 

"And you’ve done an amazing job." The woman smiled, raising her glass towards the host’s direction. "This is the most fun I’ve had in years, and I’ve seen these games since I was in my twenties."

"Truly, the players intrigue me as well. I mean, player number one getting eliminated because he wanted to save that one pregnant lady with her baby was a spectacle." The bull masked guest kissed the roof of his tongue, savoring the wine that pleased his tastebuds. "I mean, he was kind of stupid, too. Who would sacrifice their lives in order to save someone they’ve just met?"

"Ah, yes. Speaking of which, did you notice the other two contestants?.. a tall one, blonde. He’s kind of cute, I don’t blame 434. And then there’s the other one, but he has black hair. They were having an argument over her for a few minutes within the game." The snake masked woman noted, crossing her legs. "I wonder who the baby daddy is."

"Want to bet?" Another woman spoke for the first time, a tiger mask concealing her features and only giving sight to the bold, red lip gloss she wore. "I’ll say it’s the black haired one, just because he’s cuter. But that’s my opinion."

"I was going to place my bet on him! But.. well, she’s closer to the tall hottie. I’ll say it’s him." 

"Dear host, you don’t happen to know who the father is, do you? Or do you not know everything as you claim you do?" The bull masked man jumped in, clearly interested. 

"I do know."

"Then, you tell us when the games end. Hah.. I just hope that mother makes it. She’s so pitiful it almost makes me actually feel bad for her."

   "CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL OF YOU FOR MAKING IT THROUGH THE FOURTH GAME." 

The mechanical doors opened to reveal the guards you no longer felt afraid of, you just resented them now. How they acted superior, they were emotionless and moved like they were machines, talked and followed orders like lapdogs of a superior leader. 

"Here are the results of the fourth game." A beep from the controller illuminated the barely populated room. Bunks that once stood tall, almost near the ceiling, were now brought down. There were maybe around twenty five players, the last game had been a bloodbath where both separated parties were eliminated mercilessly. Some steps that weren’t removed didn’t have a platform or expanded to the side in bunks, not anymore.

The room felt way worse when it was deserted.

The money fell in mechanically alongside the hum of the sound it produced as it clattered inside the nearly filled up piggy bank, some players standing in awe at the amount of money presented. "In the fourth game, seventy five players were eliminated. Now, we have twenty five players remaining. The prize money is now up to 43.1 billion won, and the share to each person here is 1.724 billion won."

Your breath hitched. This surely had to mean the games would stop— you really hoped that’s what it meant. There was no way this wasn’t enough, unless the continuing players really did mean to play with their luck. 

You didn’t let yourself hope anymore. You were outnumbered, voting was futile when the answer was clear.

"Now, you will take a vote to decide whether to continue the games or not."

Eun-seo had already fallen asleep, resting against your arms. You tried your best to get some sleep, exhaustion taking over your body for the moment. You didn’t get much of it, soon you were already in the same neat separated groups you had been since the first voting. 

"We will now start from the decreasing numbers up to the higher ones. Player 068, please cast your vote." The footsteps didn’t scare anymore, you didn’t anticipate anyone changing their minds because everyone was too far gone. Either too far gone in their own desires, or too scared to go against the remaining group of o’s.

Because there were still forks tucked inside the pillowcases of bunks that weren’t taken away.

"If you wish to end them, press the X button."

A buzz of confirmation, your eyes remained locked on the screen as the zero to zero tie flickered to one against zero. Most players in the voting wanted to continue, you knew you would lose.

Your hopes of winning were also low. Your ankle was still fractured, you had just given birth. You were mostly weak and fighting to move your body. At least if you died, Soobin would be strong enough to make it out of here and take care of Eun-seo.

Your vote still remained against the games, the red patch had already seared into the velcro layer of the left side of your uniform. The numbers of players against this game thinned, you didn’t focus on the score screen anymore. You focused on your daughter. On Soobin, who still held you by the waist. If you two made it here so far, you could push on a little more, right?

The vote had the outcome you expected, you didn’t count the difference in votes anymore because it didn’t matter. Losing was still losing, crying over spilled milk was useless. Instead, as soon as the voting ended, you tucked Eun-seo in bed between you and Soobin. Sleep didn’t come easy to you naturally, not with every sense of yours on edge.

So you lulled your mind to sleep to the image of this same moment in another scenario. Maybe in a few days, maybe when you were out of here and under the warm blankets of your then shared bedroom in a house you two picked without worrying about money. You’d fill that house with warm memories, giving Eun-seo a happy childhood rather than one filled with sadness and anger. Fill your house with laughter and the memory of her first steps, the idea of you and Soobin taking her to the first day of preschool, and lastly, the final thought that breached your no longer struggling brain was the idea of the world becoming simpler, growing old with Soobin as you sat in rocking chairs in the front porch, reminiscing every choice you made together to make it to where you hoped you’d be.

Next morning arrived way too quickly, the lights you hated for being harsh had never gotten easier on your waking eyes. The rest you took was short lived, the pain from yesterday just deepened. Your ankle was sore, propped up on a pillow Beomgyu had placed under your ankle before he slipped into a bunk next to the mattress you and Soobin slept in.

You rubbed sleep away from your eyes, glancing at Soobin who had already started to stir awake. He had barely gripped reality properly, but he still smiled at the blurry, grainy vision of you. "Morning."

You wanted to wake up next to him everyday. Truly, you just hoped fate wouldn’t take him from you too. You weren’t sure if you would be able to take it.

"The fifth game will start soon, please follow the instructions from our staff!"

You rubbed your sore neck, already picking up Eun-seo. You walked with Soobin’s help, Beomgyu carried Eun-seo and walked ahead because he insisted you shouldn’t put too much stress on your body. If you were alone in here, you probably would have died already. The steps in itself were agony.

The classical music grated your ears, pain exploding through your nerves every time you stepped onto another step. It was excruciating, raw. Almost as if your ankle was going through that same exact moment where it snapped with a sickening crunch over and over again. Still, you kept going. Not complying with the staff meant elimination.

"Let me carry you." Soobin halted, unable to see you in so much pain for too long. Every step was agony, especially since your ankle kept swelling within every hour. You needed a doctor as soon as possible, but since you couldn’t get one in here, your best option would be to not walk on it. 

"I’m fine," you reassured, already a half step towards the higher level. 

"You shouldn’t walk on it, just—let me take care of you." He insisted, exasperated. Arguing against Soobin was practically useless. "You said you trusted me. You’ve trusted me this far, so let me take care of you and stop putting yourself through so much agony. You’ve just given birth, too. Let your body rest and leave everything else to me."

Once again, you shoved all your pride down your throat. Head jerking in nods instead of words, all because his concern and careful acts always caught you off guard enough to strip you mentally.

"Fine."

The rest of the way up the steps were quiet, filled with  hearts that beat way too fast for the confidence his mouth spoke with and your brain believed in. The doors opened to a dark scenario, almost as dark as the starry night of the previous game, except it was hazy. Your heart stuttered, breath stuck in your chest. In front of you, a doll almost as tall as the doll who had been counting in red light green light stood. For sure, it had to be her. Across from her was another doll, a boy with a carved smile. Almost as if they wouldn’t be the cause of your deaths.

There was a bridge between them, a gap that would ensure a false step would be a gruesome fall to the floor. Jumping rope.

You wanted to puke. There was no way you were surviving this, not with a fractured ankle.

The ceiling above you was high, colors of purple and hues of orange kissing and mingling with lighter and darker shades of blue. You were extremely high up. You could tell from the gap you saw in the bridge that this wasn’t a short fall, it was one that would either kill you immediately or strike you and leave you bleeding out in agony.

"What the hell is this?" You heard someone mutter, you weren’t the only one intimidated by the overwhelming size of the dolls and the distance that seemed farther than it actually was that led to the safety of the other side.

"Welcome to the fifth game! The game you will be playing is Jump rope. You must cross the bridge as you jump over the rotating rope and get to the other side within twenty minutes."

Soobin placed you against a nearby bench the arena had to offer, kneeling down next to you. Beomgyu found the two of you next, he didn’t need to ask for you to know that he was wondering how the hell you’d cross with a fractured ankle and with your baby here.

"You may decide on the order amongst yourselves."

"How the hell are we going to cross?" Beomgyu hissed, grimacing as Soobin pulled up the hem of the bottom of your pants. Your ankle was way too bad to jump on, even if you managed to haul yourself to the bridge, you would trip on the rope and fall. "She can’t cross—it’s almost as if they want her dead."

"We’ll find a way." Soobin shakily replied, but every exit was far too risky. 

"Now, let the game begin!" 

The sound of the rope finally unlocking from its still hold rang loudly through the room, the swish of the rope aggressive. It cut through the wind sharper than the blade from the previous game, fast. When you played jump rope as a kid, it sometimes resulted in angry marks of rope burns on your legs. This time, not jumping on time would mean you’d crack your skull open after a brutal fall.

"Knock, knock. Who is there? Your little friend! Come on in!"

Anyone who grew up during your time before the screens knew this song. It was memorized by every kid, a song that tied every childhood together.

"Little friend, little friend, turn around. Little friend, little friend, touch the ground."

You had never been so glad that the rules didn’t require you to follow the song. It would make it impossible to win.

"Little friend, little friend, touch your toe. Little friend, little friend, now away you go."

You shook your head, a pressure building up heavily in your chest as you watched some players jump before even being in the bridge, trying to find the perfect timing.

"Soobin, no. Leave me here." You pleaded, clasping his hands between your own. "Take Eun-seo and leave, it’s too dangerous. It’s best if I go than you, you have a best shot at winning and Beomgyu—"

"We’re not leaving you here, Y/N. We made it here this far, you can’t be serious if you expect us to abandon you here!" Soobin’s voice raised a bit louder than necessary, drawing the eyes of other players who just ignored it to focus on their own game right now.

He shook his head, allowing his shoulders to slump forward. "If you die, then I’m dying here too. There’s no in between."

"You can’t do this." You insisted, frustrated.

"Then let me do this for you." He paused, the emotion in his voice and determination to somehow get you two across weakening your resolve. 

"I’ll cross with Eun-seo." Beomgyu fidgeted with the fabric of his jacket that had been used to wrap Eun-seo up until now. "I’ll make it to the other side. You bring Y/N, she can’t jump like that."

The timer ticked down to sixteen minutes, Soobin adjusted a neat podaegi. Once he knotted the fabric three times to ensure Eun-seo wouldn’t fall, he gripped Beomgyu by the shoulders. Urgent.

"I want to see you two on the other side." Was all he said. He didn’t hesitate, he fully trusted Beomgyu. If he kept you safe throughout the games while he wasn’t there to be with you, then he could trust Beomgyu to keep his daughter safe.

"I’ll see you and Y/N there." He nodded, meeting your teary eyes one last time. He offered you a smile, then finally turned away towards the parted legs of the doll that were an entrance towards the bridge.

"We can’t just stay here, someone has to go!" Player 100 exclaimed, freaking out. No one wanted to go first, even if going first, between, or last didn’t change what fate had prepared for you, no one wanted to experience it first. Just like no kid wanted to be called up first on the starting days of school to solve a new math problem on the board.

"You’re all talk. If you want someone to go already, then take the lead!" Another player retorted. 

"I’ll go first." Beomgyu finally managed out, pushing past the crowd of players as he zipped the jacket to cover Eun-seo’s body completely. Swallowing down every bit of dread and urge to recoil away from the rope. With a calculated glance, as soon as the rope flung upwards, he sprinted forwards on the little space the bridge provided as much as he could, jumping once the corner of his eye caught it swinging down close to his feet.

The players behind gasped, you held your air as you tried to stare past the crowd. You couldn’t see clearly.

Beomgyu’s heart was beating so hard he swore it might as well kill him before the rope even did. His balance faltered, he gripped Eun-seo tighter as he recovered it quickly. Her wails pierced the air, but he jumped again. He had to ignore her for now if he wanted to live. He took one more jump to regain his footing, refusing to remain still for too long, he made another run for it, nearing the gap on the bridge.

Holy shit, Beomgyu’s mind raced, he couldn’t help but feel dizzy as he stared at how far the ground was from the bridge. The gap was not too large, it wasn’t impossible to cross, but a step too short would take anyone to their deaths. He forced his vision back, refusing to let it blur. He kept jumping, kept his focus even as he stood still in the same place.

"Why isn’t he going?" You limped forward, arm swung over Soobin’s arm. You were terrified, what scared you most of all was the possibility of Eun-seo dying with Beomgyu and you living. You’d never forgive yourself if it happened. "What is he doing?"

"There’s probably a gap in the bridge to make this more difficult." Soobin groaned, running a free hand through his hair, tugging at it to release the stress.

"JUST JUMP!" Player 100 screamed, for a moment, you swore that the parts of the players that cheered each other on during the pentathlon came back. Everyone wanted Beomgyu and the baby to make it across.

Beomgyu pushed forward in a jump as soon as the rope swung upwards, bending over as sweat dripped down his neck. His knees thudded heavily against the bridge, despite the exertion, he still forced himself up to jump as the rope ricocheted down again. He stopped making runs for it in order to keep his balance.

One, two. Beomgyu counted mentally, jumping every time he reached two, then he took two steps forward. Only making a final run for it once he was close to the other side of the bridge, he stumbled forward, catching himself on the gelid leg of the doll.

Cheers erupted from your side of the bridge, a smile breaking through your face. Your chest flooded with relief, they were alive. 

"He did it." You breathed out in relief, your nails no longer digging into your clammy palms to let out your anxiety that rippled through you in waves.

"Player 120, pass!"

Beomgyu’s hand shook as they unzipped the jacket, Eun-seo’s crying face coming into view. She was unharmed, still safe. He turned and searched for you and Soobin in the crowd of cheering players, raising Eun-seo’s body in the air. "Y/N! I have her! Please come right away!"

With the display of courage, more players pushed forward. Jumping in rhythm together.

"Come on, we have to go." Soobin ushered, arms hooking under the back of your knees and supporting your torso. "We’ll be there soon, okay? Don’t worry."

The timer was already down to twelve minutes, Soobin pushed through the crowd of players who were already lining up to go. Without hesitating, he rushed forwards the second the rope flung above your heads. 

Everything seemed to go in slow motion.

It swished down, Soobin’s body rippled everywhere with every thud of his feet against the ground. Your eyes flickered to the floor beneath the bridge, the distance enough to make acidic bile rise up your throat. You were utterly dependent on Soobin.

You weren’t married, at least not yet, but this felt like a seal of ‘until death do us apart’. Was this truly what the promise was? Most people said it aimlessly, some meant it, but you never realized how heavy that vow could be. Not until now.

A scream of a falling player caught your attention. From the bending over players that kept jumping, you saw someone else already at the other side with Beomgyu. He was standing at the very edge of the end of the bridge, pushing players down.

"Player 312, eliminated!"

No one moved. No one dared to.

"Yah, what the hell do you think you’re doing?!" Beomgyu barked, setting Eun-seo down against a bench he found. Everyone on the bridge was still jumping, but no one could jump for twelve minutes. Even if they could, all of you would be eliminated with no doubts.

"What do you think I’m doing?" The man smiled, manic. "I’m playing the game."

"No one can cross the bridge, you shitheads!" The man shouted, standing menacingly to stop players from coming through.

"Shit, what the hell is he doing?" Soobin cursed, exhaustion slowly creeping in as he gripped you a little more tightly, his legs straining under the added weight your body possessed landing alongside his own body weight.

"Holding us off." You choked out, your throat feeling too tight for you to breathe. 

"Player 163, eliminated!"

"Player 178, eliminated!"

"Hey, stop that bullshit!" Beomgyu scolded, taking a step forward—he really was trying to give this guy the benefit of doubt.

"Stop what? Come help me stop them from crossing! If we both win, we’ll each leave with 23.25 billion won each!" He boasted, already pushing off another player.

"Player 177, eliminated!"

"Player 352, eliminated!"

With every body dropped, Soobin pushed forward. Once you neared the gap in the bridge, he sucked in a deep breath. The whirl of the rope cracking in the air was overwhelming, now he understood why Beomgyu took so long to cross the gap.

"We’re going to die." You whispered, clinging to his shirt until your knuckles turned white. "He’s not going to let us through."

"I promise, I’ll make sure you cross even if it’s the last thing I do." Soobin forced out through his teeth, his breath too short to form a proper speech without panting.

"Move." Beomgyu gritted through his teeth, the rope speeding up was sure to tire everyone out eventually.

"Don’t you get it? Do you know just how much money that is?"

"Yeah? What if I pushed you from behind? Then I wouldn’t have to share it." The barely contained rage on Beomgyu’s face finally did something, pushing the guy to actually step aside.

No amount of added money was worth being pushed off after surviving this far.

"Come on, the rope is speeding up!" He barked towards the players on the bridge, relief and gratitude painting their expressions together all at once.

"Player 100, pass."

With every passing player, your eyes caught at the clock. The bridge was already becoming too full on the side behind the gap, there was no choice but to jump over. Soobin wouldn’t be able to jump forever, especially not with you in his arms.

Nearly losing his balance, Soobin rushed and jumped forward with burning legs. The view of the other platform became clearer, the distance shortening with every jump and ricochet of the quickening rope. "Almost there, we’ve got this."

"Just make a run for it! You’re going to run out of time!" Beomgyu ushered, you felt so sick with relief you were sure you were becoming green-faced. 

"YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!" The commotion ahead stopped Soobin in the tracks, so close but so far. Beomgyu hit the ground before you could process anything further, knuckles against skin pushing grunts from Beomgyu’s mouth. 

"We could’ve stopped it here," Player 017 growled, pushing Beomgyu further against the ground. Both of his hands were tight around his throat, intending to choke the life out of him before even throwing Beomgyu off. "But since you pulled off this stunt, I’m taking you out instead and your share."

"Player 425, eliminated!"

"Let him go!" Your words almost hurt due to the tightness of your throat, pushing it down and managing your words when anxiety was pulling at your brain as if you were a puppet controlled by it was hard.

To your horror, the squelch of flesh ripped through the air as sharp as the whip of the rope, another player eliminated behind you, but the squelch didn’t come from the crack of skull hitting the ground that expanded downwards. It came from ahead.

"FUCK! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Blood seeped down Beomgyu’s thumb, with lacking air and not much strength, he forced his hand upwards. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but his thumb gouged out the eye of the player above him. He grimaced at the feeling, but it wasn’t enough for the hands around his throat to be loosened. As soon as the rope whipped up again, Beomgyu hit his feet against the player’s chest, attempting to mimic what Yeonjun did during the last round as he used every bit of coiled up strength to push the player above his head. Undoubtedly, despite his best efforts, Beomgyu was the one who took the player’s share.

"Player 008, eliminated!"

One quick glance at the clock that marked nearly just two minutes was all Beomgyu needed to extend his hand towards you and Soobin, please keep going.

Every time your body jolted when Soobin’s foot hit the ground, your ankle jerked in place at the more urgent pace of the swinging rope. Your cheek was by now all loose skin and red swells from teeth marks, screwing your eyes shut, it all narrowed down slowly to the song.

"Little friend, little friend, now away you go."

"Make one last run for it, come on, you’re running out of time!" At the sound of Beomgyu’s shout, one last burst of determination despite all the exhaustion came from Soobin. Everything else felt numb, his feet already buzzing, arms swearing they might as well give out—his grip became shaky, he knew you could tell. But he didn’t let go.

The view on the other side often isn’t one you see by your own efforts.

By the time you and Soobin reached the other side, pulled over by the grip of Beomgyu’s hand on Soobin’s arm as soon as he came in reach, he looked awful. Every ounce of energy was left behind each time the rope whirled around, breathing became hard as he wheezed for air. 

The world felt almost dull, barely registering it by the time Beomgyu helped you down. Legs swearing like they might give out, Soobin’s knees hit the ground as exhaustion spread like a fever throughout his body. "Holy shit, fuck." And yet, every drop of sheer exhaustion was pushed away as he looked at Beomgyu almost pleadingly, pushing himself to sit on his heels. "Eun-seo, where is she?"

You never thought someone would love your daughter as much as Choi Soobin did.

He wasn’t afraid to cry or show the overwhelming emotions anymore, a choked sound left him along with the tears the second Beomgyu adjusted her in his arms. He looked so painfully relieved, holding Eun-seo as if she was going to disappear if he let go. 

Promises were slowly regaining their meanings. Maybe the promises that were broken in his childhood never were meant to be fulfilled, those promises were empty because the ones who promised him to fulfill their words never actually attempted to fulfill them. But through the effort of his own hands, even if it required more effort, that tiny spark was flickering back again.

"The game is over!"

    WHAT WAS WORTH MORE MONEY? The question kept ringing inside your head as Eun-seo’s gulping sounds echoed in your ears. She had been struggling to get a proper latch for at least ten minutes, by then, you were completely sure the remaining players aside from Beomgyu and Soobin were sick of the sound of her shrieks. Nothing would prepare you for how loud her cries would sometimes be, or how hard it’d be to figure out why she was crying. The room was vacant, so empty you could nearly feel the judging presence of the dead players. More than three hundred who were just seeking another chance at life.

"Congratulations to all of you who made it through the fifth game." This same greeting was getting old by now, but you were glad to hear it. At least because it meant you made it one more day. Making it through the week never seemed hard, even when you were in school. Now, a new layer of hell unraveled each time you woke up to play another game. "Here are the results of the fifth game."

"Do you think they’ll finally vote to get out?" Beomgyu murmured, head tipped sideways as his eyes locked on the piggy bank that came down. The light was far more overpowering now that empty bunks were removed from the room, it left all of you completely exposed. Beomgyu fought through these games just to get enough money to pay his debt, and yet, this amount of money would be enough to stay well off for the rest of his life. Especially if he invested in it. "There’s no way nearly six billion won isn’t enough."

"One of the surviving players owes 10 billion, I don’t know if he’ll ever go against these games." Your body loosened further as you settled further against Soobin’s side, head resting over the soft thrum of his now calmed down heart. "I don’t know about the others, though. Should be enough for them."

"In the fifth game, 16 players were eliminated. We now have ten players remaining. The prize money now accumulated is 44.7 billion won, and each person’s share is now 4.96 Billion won." You had never dreamed of having so much money. The word billion was enough to leave your throat dry and patchy, you once thought you’d have it all figured out with the money but—where would you even start?

"4.96 Billion won?" Someone questioned, the incredulity filling their voices. Something wasn’t right. You quickly counted the players sitting down and spread around the room, there were nine. So why did the guard say ten? "Why the hell is our share 4.96 Billion won when there’s nine of us?!"

"There are ten remaining players. Player 374, player 120, player 100, player 434, player 333, player 155, player 089, player 229, and player 454." The guard announced calmly, unmoving.

454 used to be Yeonjun’s number.

You felt your hands start to shake, there was no way they intended to make your baby a player. But as your eyes locked onto Eun-seo’s face peacefully feeding, you realized that morality really had no meaning here. If you were in the games, it means you’re a player. 

"This is wrong! That baby is not a player!" Soobin scampered off of the bed, hand pointed towards you. How much worse could these games get? "How do you expect a newborn to compete? Don’t you see how unfair that is?!"

"You said all players are presented with an equal chance of winning, her baby hasn’t even opened her eyes yet!" Beomgyu was off next, chest rising too quickly like he was in the arena all over again.

"You are correct. But a player’s physical conditions aren’t to be taken care of by us, and if someone is in the games, then they apply to the equality rules we provide, making them a player." The guard replied without hesitation. Like a baby playing in a death game wasn’t outrageous.

"454? Isn’t that the chick that wanted to be a man? That player died during hide and seek!" Player 100 was practically fuming, of course he would be. He was the one who owed the most debt.

Sunghoon was staring so hard at you that you almost felt the heat of it burn through your skin. You couldn’t tell if he was pissed, or if he pitied the situation. You had always deemed him as easy to read, but now, you weren’t so sure about that anymore.

"That damn bitch is dead, and being dead means that money should be ours by rights!" Player 155 was already standing up, fists clenching as he turned towards your direction. "That damn baby has done nothing to deserve our hard earned money!"

"That’s right, we’ve earned that money by risking our lives in the games!" Player 229 jumped in, pointing fingers at you and Eun-seo. You could feel Soobin tense next to you, but fighting all of these players would be hard if they decided that they wanted you and Eun-seo dead. "That damn baby shows up out of nowhere because this bitch spread her legs and came in here pregnant, makes it become a player, and gets to take a share of the money?! That just means player 434 will get double the amount of money!"

You reached into the breached opening of the pillow, hands twisting and pushing aside stuffing until you felt the sharp teeth of forks hit your palm. You wrapped your hand around the handle, if they wanted to kill you, then you wouldn’t let them take you without a fight.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!" Another player roared, most of them now standing and fuming with rage. "This is outrageous! So if I die here, you’re going to give my prize money to a damn baby?!"

"My prize money is down by 700 million because of a baby? This shit is unacceptable!" Someone else roared, most players were already stepping towards you. Your stomach tied in knots, ready to whisk out your fork at any given time.

"That’s right! If that player is dead, then the baby should also be eliminated if it inherited that number!" The voices morphed, all of them going through stages of not accepting the new ‘rule.’ But what was 700 million compared to 4.96 billion?

Human greed could rot anyone from the inside out.

It was why you were being bet on like horses.

"Damn right that baby should be eliminated! If the player is dead, the kid should be eliminated too!" They were animalistic, a part of you wasn’t sure if these men were in their right minds anymore. "We have to kill it."

"The baby must die too! We can’t let this happen! It has to be eliminated!" You pulled the fork out, never showcasing it as you pushed yourself off of the bed with one arm still cradling Eun-seo awkwardly. She started to wail at the commotion, already squirming in the podaegi. The players were already thundering towards you, Soobin and Beomgyu were standing defensively—was killing in the arenas not enough?

"No way in hell we’re taking this nonsense!" Player 100 barked.

"That’s just a baby, what the hell are all of you thinking?!" Beomgyu roared, unsure of what was worse—grown men deciding they should kill a baby for money, or these masked guards deciding a baby should partake in the games.

"This is bullshit! Hand the baby over, 434!" 

You clutched Eun-seo tighter, pressing her against your shoulder as you brought your shirt back down. Eyes wide with fear, your mouth went dry. They looked wild. And the guards weren’t even doing anything. Sunghoon was standing there, but he wasn’t doing anything to stop the gathering of players. You weren’t sure why you expected him to step up for once in his life. "Give me that damn baby! Hand it over or I’ll kill you too!"

A gunshot rang clean in the air, you flinched as your eyes snapped towards the guards. Eun-seo wouldn’t stop wailing, you were yet to pick which sound was making your head hurt the most. 

"Physical violence amongst players will no longer be allowed. It is our intention to give every player a fair chance." The metal doors opened behind the square masked guard, circle ones marching like programmed robots into the room carrying neat boxes. They stood in rows, nine of them on each side of the square mask, their superior. "To congratulate you for reaching the final game, we have prepared a special gift."

The gamemakers and guards alike called the suit you were given comfort, you called it bullshit. It was a piece of fabric meant as a slight taste of victory. The pristine white fabric felt wrong on your battered body, loose and clean as a contrast to the dirt and grime that clung to your skin like it had imprinted itself there. The fabric was airy, soon to be stained with blood if the games didn’t stop today during voting. You fastened the bow tie around your neck clumsily, never being taught how to do it properly and left it crooked beneath the collar of the button up.

It was a nice change from the tracksuit that reeked of your efforts and losses in the arenas, discarded on the ground like a memory you wanted to leave behind. Eun-seo was tucked safely in the sink, already fast asleep. The woman that looked back at you, glimmering in the reflection, screamed survivor. But she wasn’t you. A part of you, a particularly soft and empathetic part died over the course of the last few days. Dark circles appeared on your face, your hair was so matted you weren’t sure how long it would take to untangle it. Your lips were cracked and bleeding, and you could barely even hold yourself up.

Hands splashed cold water on your face as you bent over, there was no one else in here aside from you. No other women. You fought to push down another wave of bubbling up tears, the sting of the cold water that almost felt like small needles prickling your skin washed away the tears that were now at bay. Your breath shook, trying to find a glimpse of someone you once understood so well in that mirror.

You found none.

It was no wonder people got entertained by you. Compared to your day one self, you looked almost as animalistic for survival as the other players.

You took longer than the other players to make it back to the lobby, but once you arrived, the room had already been quickly changed. You wondered how the hell they managed to complete these makeovers so quickly, but the dinner table set up at the center of the room with the wafting scent of a rich steak pushed away any other thoughts of wonder. The piggy bank was now on the floor, nearly filled to the brim with money. The circle center on the floor was checkered black and white, matching the coloring aesthetic of all suits each player received. Chandeliers with candles shining brightly with hues of orange were on each side of the piggy bank, casting a soft glow alongside the already yellowed out lighting over each table arranged neatly next to one another in a circle within the checkered expanse.

You took a seat on a table next to Soobin, Beomgyu was sitting across from you, closer to the source of money. "Ma’am, please enjoy your meal. Your baby will be taken care of." A circle guard gestured towards the carefully crafted crib, you hesitated, but hunger and lack of nutrients made you so weak you couldn’t help but comply.

You were ravenous. Gripping your spoon as you examined all of the dishes presented to you in a feast—Kimchi, rice, vegetables in a blend of fried and boiled side dishes, perfectly seasoned meat. You had never been so glad it was mealtime.

"We have prepared as much food and drink as you could need, if you need more, please do not hesitate to ask." From the corner of your eyes, you watched as some players dug into their foods with their bare hands as they picked at the food. Some barely chewed before swallowing, simple dishes you could make at home became almost delicacies you could only taste in five star restaurants. The flavors burst on your tastebuds that were already complaining from the overload of sweet bread and plain food, real nutrients finally being eaten made a sigh of relief make your whole body slightly slump. You ate as if you were starved, because in reality, you were. This was the first proper meal you had in what felt like ages when it really was five days.

Despite the fact you were quick to fill up, you ate until you were stuffed. Your stomach couldn’t handle much, not when you were fed as little as possible in equal portions. You didn’t want to waste this. Eun-seo was being fed in an already warmed up bottle of milk by a circle guard, it was the first time you had seen these guards do something decent.

You wondered if beneath those masks, they regretted everything.

Soon, your stomach couldn’t physically handle much, so you tipped backwards against the chair. Some were still eating as two circle guards brought out the voting machine. 

"You will now take a vote to decide whether to continue the games or not. But before we begin, you will be given a hint about the final game."

You thought you were maybe hallucinating after eating so much, but a few gasps some players couldn’t hold back at the words clearly said otherwise. 

"In the final game, you will each get to choose which players to eliminate."

Your hands froze. This couldn’t be good—but of course they would do anything to make sure the game was concluded. You knew that you would be the first to be taken out, you or Eun-seo. You were both the weakest in here. 

"What? We get to decide who will be eliminated?" Soobin shook his head, never missing the malicious intent gleaming in the eyes of the players who had a circle patch on their chest. 

"That is correct. If you can all agree which three players should be eliminated, everyone else will make it through the game." You cast your eyes downwards to your hands, trying to disappear to avoid the malicious stares directed towards you, but there was nowhere to hide. You, Eun-seo, and maybe Beomgyu had a chance of being voted out. Soobin was taller and bigger, Beomgyu could fight—but he had clearly gotten on the nerves of most players here more than Soobin had.

“So we just need to eliminate three people, and we get to decide who?" A player whose voice was filled with hope asked.

"In the final game, you only need to eliminate a minimum of three players." The guard nodded.

"You said a minimum of three players, but doesn’t that mean more than three can be eliminated?" Sunghoon asked hesitantly.

"That is correct. However, the choice will be yours."

"So we can also decide how many will be eliminated?" A shaky voice peered up, your eyes shifted to scan over the speaking player—089. You hadn’t paid much attention to him, hadn’t had a chance to. But now, up close, it wasn’t hard to tell he was scared.

"That is correct."

"Damn it. Explain this shit better, what the fuck are you saying?" Player 155 dropped his fork, quick to rise to his temper.

"Let me get this straight. All we need to do is eliminate at least three people, and we get to decide who they will be?" Player 100’s hands moved as he cleared it up, a broad smile painting his face.

"That is correct. It’s entirely up to you to decide who will be eliminated in the final game. If you eliminate three players, the rest will be able to leave this place as the final winners." You took a sip of your water, forcing it down your clogging throat. They wouldn’t vote to leave—not when they could kill your baby and two more people and leave with a higher prize. "The vote will be held in reverse order of your player number. Player 454, please cast your vote."

Your eyes darted towards Eun-seo, who was already fast asleep after being fed. Gripping the fabric of the white table cloth with your fingers slick with some residue of sauce from the food, staining it below your fingers. "Can’t I place the vote for her? I’m her mother, she can’t even speak yet."

"Bullshit! If she’s a player, she should have a say of herself!" Player 100 slammed his fist against his table, you gritted your teeth tighter. You had never in your life wanted someone dead as badly as you wanted this man to die. 

"That would be interfering with the votes. If player 454 doesn’t cast her vote, then the vote will count as abstention." You swallowed down your urge to argue, watching the guard count down to zero from five. 

"The vote is registered as abstention. Player 434, please cast your vote." Holding your breath and every ounce of frustration, you pushed through the pain with a tight jaw as you limped towards the voting machine. You didn’t hesitate to slam down the red button, every ounce of rage towards these games placed solely on a single choice. Fuck these games, these guards, and whoever operates this shit.

It wasn’t a surprise that the continuing players won, no one changed their minds. Voting was practically useless in this scenario when all of the choices were set in stone. It was a waste of breath and strength. 

"Does anyone have any objections?" 

"I have.." You quickly glanced at player 155, who now stood with his bowl of rice and shoved down one last spoonful down his throat with a triumphant smile like he had already won. "No objections. Now, can I have some more rice?"

"As you wish."

"Then, with no objections, let’s toast to giving it our best shot until the end!" Player 100 roared with a grin, and as they raised their glasses and cheered in victory, you were already retreating to your bed. Eun-seo was already in your arms, asleep and blissfully unaware. Soobin’s footsteps were quick behind you, closing the distance.

Faintly, the players who were confident of winning completely ignored the movements. Most were boasting, already offering to pay dinners in fancy places, go on trips in fancy first class flights. "Get me some more kimchi—japchae too, hurry!"

"They’re going to vote me out." You stated, even though both of you already knew they would. "If—when they do, don’t let them take Eun-seo."

"Y/N—" Soobin cut in, desperate to reassure.

"No." You bit sharply, despite the tears that already started forming, you still met his gaze head on. "Soobin, you have to promise me you’ll get Eun-seo out even if it’s the last thing you do."

"I—"

"Promise me." You hissed. You had already lived enough— even if you hadn’t even reached your thirties, a young life living from the start and with stability was better than you, who already was so scarred by life. "Please. I’m begging you. I don’t care if I die here, but I want her to leave. I don’t want her to die when she has everything it takes to live a life I never got the chance to live."

The intensity in your eyes was overpowering, you had always been scared to die. But the irony wasn’t lost on you. The fear would death would have to die to the blade of your instincts, of what was right. Soobin held your shoulders, shaking his head. "I can’t let them get you."

"You have to." You pressed further, so fierce that your certainty made you seem untouchable. Maybe if you hadn’t just given birth, maybe if you hadn’t fractured your ankle as badly as you had, you would be able to fight during the last game. "Promise me."

"I don’t have a problem with promising you to get her out, you know I don’t." Nothing left but a mere weakening resolve was left in Soobin’s voice, his forehead pressed against yours while you were still here—still tangible. "If she leaves, you’re leaving too. Let me do that much."

"What if you don’t leave either? They’ll target us." The soft, tender cradle of Soobin’s hands on your face held you as if he was already mourning. Obeying you meant accepting you would die, following his own choice would mean he would die trying without the certainty of you or Eun-seo making it out.

"I’ll figure out a way, okay? I promise. We’ll all leave. Just trust me one last time." He’s scared—you can tell Soobin is terrified. He doesn’t want to die as much as you don’t want him to. But you found that Soobin was someone who always looked at fear in the face and fought against it until he had nothing else to fear anymore.

You hated that he was like this sometimes. You wished that maybe he would just take Eun-seo and leave you. But he wouldn’t.

Because he loved you. And being without you was worse than being someone swimming in billions of won.

"We’ll get out of here. Buy a house, maybe have a dog or two or—another baby if you want it. Without the stress, just us." Lips hovering above yours, his hands steadied you. Soothing momentarily all of the worries that flooded your heart. "I’ll make it happen."

Even if you’d never last in your own eyes, you still kissed him back as if this was perennial.

  YOU LOOKED BEAUTIFUL under the soft glow of the lights, Soobin analyzed. Your body was drained from all the barriers and fights you put up, the lines of your face so tired but still unbearably breathtaking. The world around you quieted down, your guard lowered as you sought warmth next to him. 

He wanted to experience this everyday. To wake up in the haze of mornings with your rested face next to his, to analyze you each morning until the image of you was permeable in his mind so he wouldn’t ever forget how you looked like. 

Even if he couldn’t witness this, he still wanted to die with the lingering memory of you. He wanted you to feel this peaceful everyday.

Before bedtime, Soobin had already watched the players who voted to continue crowd up and start likely voting on who to eliminate. They would go for you, then Eun-seo, and the last choice was between him and Beomgyu. The gears in his head turned, sleep refused to grace him. He didn’t have a plan to somehow get all of you—the four of you, out of here safely. Especially when you were incredibly outnumbered. You were wounded, Eun-seo was a baby. It was him and Beomgyu against six.

"Player 374." Soobin immediately propped himself up at the sound of the guard’s voice. He stood there without a gun, there wasn’t a way of him harming any of you. Either way, he didn’t have a reason to. But wariness came naturally since they were in charge of killing you. "There’s someone who wants to see you."

For a moment, Soobin’s heart missed a beat or two. Chest tightening. He didn’t answer right away, he let his eyes linger on Eun-seo as his hand tightened around the crib, then at you, how peaceful you were. Fast asleep, just relaxing because he was keeping watch.

"They’ll be fine, it’s just a short meeting." Almost as if reading his mind, the guard gave a look at the fork that gleamed beneath your pillow. "She can defend herself, and they wouldn’t try to get eliminated before the last game."

Despite all hesitation, Soobin found himself sliding off from the bed and following the guard in soft thumps of his feet. His mind was spinning with questions, from who wanted to talk to him, to what did they want with him. He kept his lips sealed, all the questions he managed to ask himself in the short time he walked around the facility were wrapped behind his lips. He’d ask whoever wanted to talk to him instead of a guard who was following directions.

In a way, the guards were a pawn in these games just like each player who lived and each player who survived was.

The air smelled expensive in the elevator, a shift from the way the lobby reeked of survival and the constant sharp edge of frayed nerves. The elevator was colder, biting onto his quaking hands that Soobin shoved in the pockets of the expensive material of his tailored pants. The building shifted within every room, each one leading deeper.

The hallway was painted in black, not a single trace of anything colorful lingered in the walls. It led deeper, a silhouette being illuminated by the light of a lamp standing still and glowing, definitely as expensive as the shine it emanated, above a wooden furniture next to the leather that squeaked as the person who called for him crossed their legs.

"Player 374." The voice, despite being altered by something built within the mask, sounded expensive. Judging by the expensive design of the room—the paintings, the bottles of liquor arranged neatly by names and labels on a nearby stand, the soft jazz almost inaudible in the back let Soobin know what this was about. Who this was.

This wasn’t some guard or instructor, no. This was the leader.

"Please, take a seat." He motioned for Soobin to sit down. Warily, he examined the room one last time. There were no guns, the guard who had brought him in here left with the clink of the elevator buzzing downwards back at the entrance that led to this room. "Have some whiskey."

It wouldn’t be fair to poison a player, Soobin disappearing would make everything far too suspicious. If they were being watched, then the spectators would be upset at seeing him dying, assuming they enjoyed seeing him plead and fight for just a woman and her baby. That’s what you three probably were. His fingers wrapped around the cup with a force bigger than necessary, the liquid burning hot but soothing against his throat—down in one go. Every move was watched, especially as he slammed the glass down against the table.

"What do you want from me?" His expression remained frozen despite the superiority that wanted to crush him, remaining serious. He didn’t want to be afraid. 

"It’s about your future, her future, and the baby’s." The masked figure stated, at least Soobin had been right about what he was called down here for.

"Did you ever plan on giving us a chance to have a future to even begin with?" Soobin scoffed.

"I’m giving you one now. Since as you’ve probably guessed, they’ll both be the main targets by the unified players in the next game." He took a pause to let the gravity sink in, you won’t have a choice but to listen. That was what the underlying part of his speech conveyed.

"Isn’t that what all of you want? Whoever is watching us play, isn’t that the whole point? It’s why you put a newborn baby in the game." Soobin’s voice was strained, full of barely contained anger. This was the man behind all suffering and cruelty—it was enough to put behind him all of his politeness and respect. "You want to see all of these greedy fuckers kill the baby and Y/N so you can laugh and cheer about their deaths."

"If that was my intention, then I wouldn’t have called you down here and offered my help." The monotonous voice did little to stomp off the fire flickering in Soobin’s eyes, why would he want help from a killer after all this time?

A bitter laugh left Soobin’s lips, shaking his head. "You’re trying to help us?"

He didn’t get an answer, not in words, at least. The clatter of a knife next to the bottle of whiskey between them on the table was his answer. Black and golden, designed beautifully. It was detailed with half triangles on the golden parts, but the ones coated in black were smooth. His face paled.

"Take this knife back to the lobby and kill all of these trash who wants to kill you and them." He held his air, fingers tapping against his thigh. "But that means you’d have to kill the other man, too."

Of course there was a but. It was too good to be true. "Kill Beomgyu? You can’t be serious! Do you even—" Soobin snapped, but was cut off before it could escalate further.

"As long as there are more than three players, the game is still playable. You can’t have a winner with three players left, not in this last game." The man instructed, but never forcing. "They’re all fast asleep after a good drink and food. Slit their throats one by one, but do it quickly. No one will ever notice. Then, you’ll leave with the money and the two people who are your priority."

Soobin could do it. He didn’t mind shedding more blood for you at this point, but the thought of killing Beomgyu felt wrong. Beomgyu was the one who carried Eun-seo over the bridge, he wouldn’t make it in time if he went back and forth to cross you over. Beomgyu was the one who helped you give birth, he was the one of the people he trusted to keep you safe during the pentathlon— fucking hell.

He never truly understood why heroes thought too hard about the question of saving their lover or more people, but now he did. Either Beomgyu lived one more night to partake in the games and you four went against the six remaining players, or he killed everyone and fractured a part of your trust since you really wanted no one else from your close circle to die, or he killed everyone but Beomgyu, but then tomorrow, only one of you would live.

"Why are you suggesting I do this?" Soobin’s voice wavered for once, the weight of choice showing in his voice. He had a way out, but he didn’t know what to do. 

No other spoken answer. The air was taken by the sound of rustling clothes as the gloved hand of the superior reached towards the top of his head, sliding the hoodie down. Soobin’s lips parted in almost disbelief, pinching his palm to check if this was maybe a dream. It wasn’t.

The mask slid next with ease. The sight was enough to make his whole world flip upside down.

Taehyun— Kang Taehyun. He swore he died, you had told him that Taehyun died after saving Beomgyu’s life. So how was he here?

He lied to all of you all along. This wasn’t the Taehyun whom Soobin knew, no. It was someone he used to know.

A flood of emotions crashed next, Soobin’s breath left too quickly in disbelief, he didn’t want to believe that Taehyun was behind this all along. Then anger. Pure, hot—nearly blinding. He leaned back, shaking his head as Taehyun looked at him straight in the eyes with no emotions at all. He had seen all of you struggle with his very eyes, and it was all a game to him. A lie to entertain himself.

"Mr. Choi Soobin." He greeted. "My deepest apologies for Kai’s and Yeonjun’s death."

In a flash, Soobin grabbed the handle of the blade and removed the protective cap, the rage so explosive he could feel it thrumming within his veins. Beads of sweat formed without asking despite the lack of physical exertion, his teeth clenched tight. He wanted to believe this was a joke, maybe give Taehyun the benefit of doubt. But everything was tossed plain and simple right in front of him.

Still, his hand shook. Because this wasn’t just the leader, it was still Taehyun deep down. 

"Do you want to kill me?" Taehyun’s head cocked to the side, yet he wasn’t smug. Just remained blank faced like none of this mattered. "Then go ahead, I’m not stopping you. It’s just you and me, no one to stop you." He paused, sighing. "But killing me won’t change anything, because someone else will take my place. And wanting it or not, the game will still happen tomorrow."

Soobin was tense all over, body quaking. His mind screamed at him to move, kill—soak his hands in blood. But he wasn’t a killer, not like Taehyun was. So despite all of the noises of his mouth seeking breath and choked back waves of emotions, he remained impossibly still.

"And in that game," Taehyun continued, eyes unwavering. "You’ll have to fight the same motherfuckers trying to kill you and them." 

Soobin hated that he was right. This wasn’t just led by him, it was an insanely huge facility. Maybe Taehyun was just another pawn in a bigger game. So he sucked in a deep breath, lowering the knife and letting his arms sag despite wanting to see Taehyun dead. 

He understood Beomgyu now. Why did he seem to want Taehyun dead so badly before the game of hide and seek. But now, that was coming back to get Beomgyu. He wanted Taehyun dead so much that now, if Soobin wanted to save you and Eun-seo before dawn broke, he’d have to kill Beomgyu.

"Once you kill all of them, you and them will be the only players left." Taehyun reminded Soobin, there were few people there to kill, it would be easier. Then, he was taking another shot of liquor. "You can’t play the three stages of the last game and have a winner when one player must die per stage. It’s boring to the spectators. Then, according to the rules, the game will end tonight."

Something in Taehyun’s gaze shifted—a flicker of recognition, maybe something pleading before it died as quickly as it had arrived. "Just like she made you promise, you three will get out of here alive and with the entire quantity of money. You have my word."

Soobin remained grim, breathing hard as he weighed his choices, none of them had a truly good outcome. 

"They will try to kill you and the baby tomorrow." Taehyun smiled for once—sick, like he expected Soobin to stoop down as low as he had. "So kill them first. That’s the best choice you can make right now."

Without another exchanged word, Soobin turned around. He couldn’t take a look at Taehyun anymore, or the pressuring choice he’d have to make. He still took the knife, just in case. But he wouldn’t stay here any longer.

"Player 374." Not Choi Soobin, or just Soobin. Taehyun didn’t know Soobin, not this version of Taehyun. "Do you still have faith in yourself to get out unscathed if you choose to not kill them? Get all three of you out?"

The question burned and stung more than it should. Because with every step towards the elevator, Soobin felt more cornered. He didn’t, at least not at the given moment.

It was why Soobin stood next to the bed of one of the players, player 100. The one he particularly despised. The blade glinted and reflected the hue of purple, it would be a short death, pointed right at his throat. His snores would just become gurgles, but he wouldn’t feel a thing. The time he stood pressing the blade to the softness of his skin felt like eternity, hands never ceasing the shaking motions. With a heaving chest, he still looked over his shoulder. Towards Beomgyu. He slept peacefully, he still believed he’d get out of here too.

"We should all have dinner together!" The excited words that left Beomgyu on the prior days rang like a ghost in his mind, making Soobin curse.

He couldn’t do it. Not like this.

If he had to die protecting you and Eun-seo, if he had to make sure Beomgyu would also get out— then he would do it. But he wouldn’t kill someone who was why you had survived this far.

   EUN-SEO’S SCREECHING CRIES woke you up before the classical music you had already grown tired of did. You were dragging yourself to your feet despite your blurry eyes, sighing softly as you picked her up and rocked her. Walking around and rocking her felt like a punishment to your foot, you could barely even move. Still, you didn’t have a choice. Even if your breath got sharper or your vision blurred with the pain that burst through you, you couldn’t die because your body was giving up. As she quieted down, more players began to rise. This was your last day here, you would leave today. Even if you didn’t, Eun-seo for sure would. You’d make sure of it.

“The final game will begin momentarily!”

The word ‘final’ made you almost burst into tears even if you didn’t know if you’d leave alive. The mere fact that you made it through all six days felt like a huge victory to your battered body and weary mind, it was fulfilling to know you made it so far.

In the silence routine you had all established, Beomgyu carried Eun-seo up the steps while Soobin carried you. It wasn’t much, but it spared you from any further agony. 

This time, when you walked in the arena, it wasn’t something glamorous. It was far bigger than all of the other ones, but it was poorly made. The walls had dried and cracking paints that faltered and stopped in places as if the room was left halfway done, it reeked of rusted metal and dirty water, making your nose scrunch and wrinkle as Soobin set you down. At the center of the room, three shapes stood tall like towering buildings of cities. A square, then a triangle, and lastly a circle.

You pushed your fork further down your pocket, concealing it from view as you lagged behind close to Soobin. You didn’t expect to leave this game alive, but coming in terms with it was still terrifying.

"Can I have her?” You reached out for your daughter, Beomgyu hesitated as his eyes lingered on your ankle covered by the tailored black pants, but still untied the podaegi around his body and secured it on you.

“Don’t worry, we’ll keep you safe.” He whispered, features softening as he watched you hold the back of your daughter’s head. 

“Let’s go.” Soobin ushered, still slightly tense from yesterday—but just because he hadn’t acted on what Taehyun asked him to do, he still had the knife hidden. Just in case. It was nice to have some sort of advantage, it increased his chances of winning with the people he wanted to win with.

The doors of the rusty elevator shut with a loud noise, trapping all of you inside as it jolted, moving upwards slowly. You nearly lost your balance, knees bent far too much as you attempted to keep your balance. The smell was far worse here, stronger when you were cramped in a small elevating platform. It wasn’t a long ride by any means, even though you wish it was. Soon, you were on top of the yellow square figure, high enough in the air that the fall would kill you from bleeding out but would make you suffer before you died.

“A warm welcome to all of you for joining the final game! The final game is called the Sky Squid Game. Here are the rules of the game: players will play on the square, triangle, and circle towers. You will play a pushing game on these three pillars, the first round will be played on the square where you’re currently at. If you push one or more players off the tower while they are still alive, all remaining players will move on to the triangle tower for the next round. Likewise, if you eliminate one or more players on the triangle tower in the second round, you will move on to the circle tower. The same applies to the circle tower, if you push one or more players off, everyone on the tower will be the final winners. Please keep in mind that if you do not eliminate anyone within the time limit, everyone on the tower will be eliminated.” 

You felt small under the scrutiny of the stare of the unified players, malice shot straight at you like you were prey. Still, you fixed your posture straighter as much as your body could manage, hid your fractured ankle behind your other one, and met them head on. You held Eun-seo tight, hidden partially from the men who crept closer by Soobin’s frame and Beomgyu’s one that pressed his arm to Soobin’s shoulder. You took one final glance at the height beneath you, making your breath catch. You never have been particularly afraid of heights, but since hearing so many skulls crack against the grounds and moans echo from the last game as players fell, heights made your stomach tie in knots. 

You glanced over at player 089, he was the only one who had changed his mind about going on with the games. He wasn’t in the alliance of the players that came together in a circle, moreover, he was shaking like a leaf. But that was on him, you couldn’t stop for a second to worry about someone else when your own life was at stake.

“Who do you think they’ll try to attack first?” Beomgyu mumbled, fists raised even though nobody was lunging towards your direction. “Turns out we’re not the only target they have.”

“We’re in a larger group, wanting it or not. Player 089 is alone, I think they’ll eliminate him first.” Soobin shoved one of his hands inside of his pocket, already tight on the handle of the knife Taehyun had given him the night before. “It makes it easier for us.”

“I think he’s hallucinating, either that or he’s too scared.” Your brows pinched together, sparing the guy another glance. He was kicking air, sweat dripping down his neck. Even if it was quiet, from where you stood you could catch the quiet pleas that left his lips when carried by the air. “Then they’ll just try to kill me and Eun-seo.”

“Please press the red button on the floor to start the game!”

At the beep of the button, your eyes locked with the timer that counted down from fifteen. These games built you from the beginning up to now to hone all of you to the point of animals, thirsty for more money and full of bloodlust. It wasn’t a surprise they gave you such a short time.

“They can try, but it won’t happen.” This time, Soobin didn’t look at you while saying that. It made something grip your heart, something almost like impending grief mixing with helplessness. If Soobin wanted to go and jump off, you would be powerless to stop him. It was why you would have to count on Beomgyu to hold him back from doing so. “We have to kill them before they try to kill one of us.”

So instead of looking at Soobin, you looked at Sunghoon. He was in the alliance, standing strong held by a pact that was only up because of the thirst for more money than they could shove inside their pockets. “We should keep it democratic, it makes it easier for us to point out who we think should be eliminated and then vote on it afterwards.” 

“He certainly sounds very educated, don’t you think? Maybe it was a good idea to have a young man with our old selves. They’re always more agile and eager.” Player 229 laughed, swatting at his thigh. Sunghoon didn’t acknowledge it, pursed lips as his head bowed slightly in recognition. This union was temporary, being smart meant you only made a pact when you needed something from it, but also meant slipping out of it as soon as things went south.

“Alright, then since we have a lot of time, we should probably start by nominating the ones we think should be eliminated.” Player 155–the manic one with the smile you detested, crossed his arms. He was quick to look at you up and down, not at all impressed by how you met his gaze head on. If anything, you looked more like all bark and no bite rather than bite.

It was between you, Eun-seo, and player 089. 

They turned towards you first, not him.

“I think it’s only fair we eliminate player 454 first, especially since we all agree that it’s unfair the actual player 454 died and she took his place, and on top of that, her mother has a bruised ankle and won’t be able to care for her properly like this. We can separate them from the two guys and push them off one by one.” 

You found that either they were completely stupid, or they didn’t care about you hearing their plans anymore. You were ready to pull out your fork and attack at any given moment, but they were still on talking terms, so you could only stand and listen.

“Wait– no.” Sunghoon interrupted carefully, a fake facade of worry plastering his face. What the hell was he doing? 

“If the games have to be played in rounds, then we should make it through the first round by killing the easier bait since it will be harder to separate the baby from player 434, we should kill the junkie first.” His body gave way to player 089, not much older than you and chubby cheeked as tears streamed down for no apparent reason at all. “If we all want to survive, we have to play it smart.”

The exact moment all of them looked at the man, his body started to shake way more visibly. He stumbled backwards, but there was no use to it. He wasn’t the strongest physically, you would feel bad if you didn’t feel relief. It was the only thing you felt bad about–being relieved because someone else was going to die instead of you. 

“Wait–wait, no. Please, let’s talk about this.” He stuttered, hands in front of him as he broke into tears, feet already nearing the edge. They probably wouldn’t even push him off, there was a high chance of him falling off before anyone even touched, especially because of his withdrawals that were wrecking him hard. 

“I know, I know. But just make it easier for us and jump.” The fake care in the voice of one of the old men made you grimace, if they were going to kill, why sugarcoat it? There was no point in it aside from making the cornered guy more frightened.

“I was just scared, please. I’m so scared, I don’t want to die.” He whimpered, hands shaky as he rubbed his face, practically drenched in sweat. 

“You’ll have to push him off.” Player 229 ushered, tapping the shoulder of anyone in the union they formed that he could reach. They all turned towards 155. Tougher, clearly the most physically strong member. He visibly swallowed hard, the lump that had formed in his throat now forced downwards. 

Being too overconfident was never good in games such as this.

“Fine.” He stepped forward, chest puffed outwards to belittle the other. It happened in a flash when the tie of his suit was grabbed full of anger, but a deep satisfaction beneath it all. 

“FUCK YOU, ALL OF YOU!” His voice echoed in the room, struggling against the broader player. “You want to push me off, huh?” He puffed out breathlessly, crazed eyes meeting the other’s. The roles quickly switched, fear flashed with anger in the eyes of the struggling man against the doe eyed, seemingly harmless player. Grunts left the pair as sounds of struggle mixed with them, but the players in the union just stepped backwards. “I”ll show you that you were all fucking barking up the wrong tree!”

An union was futile when everyone would be ready to bolt when things went badly. With a burst of strength, player 155 managed to push the other away from him until he stumbled back from him. The first instincts were to bolt from the edge after accomplishing his task, go back to his union to focus on who to kill next. But player 089 refused to go down alone, grabbing the bottom of the man’s pant leg before he fell. Dragging him downwards. 

It was a horrid sight. Your face scrunched up as blood spurted from player 155’s nose as he slammed face first in the ground. Faintly in the background, a skull cracked loudly, but you couldn’t get a visual of the body, nor did you want to. Blood left his nose like a fountain, spreading everywhere as it dripped down his mouth. Some of his teeth flew outwards, the pain too great for him to even have a grip at the edge. You let out a breath you weren’t aware you had been lacking when another series of bones snapped hitting the ground–sounding almost like firecrackers. Then, with a final sound of gurgling blood the man choked on, his body went still, existence now completely wiped from this world.

“Player 089, eliminated!”

“Player 155, eliminated!”

You weren’t the only one freaking out, as a matter of fact, the unified players were freaking out more than you. You didn’t linger when they started to talk amongst themselves, you focused on the small metal platform extending between the distance of the triangle building to the circular one. “Look,” You pointed, limping forwards until you could manage to have a solid grip on Soobin’s arm. “We should go, if we stay behind and go last, they’ll probably try to push us off.”

“Union my ass, they’re just there because they want to kill easier targets.” Beomgyu scoffed, crossing the bridge with one more speckle of hope. Maybe surviving wouldn’t be so hard when this so-called union was already crumbling. “If we can badly wound one of them, wouldn’t it just make them easier to kill one by one?”

“But the problem is they won’t let go of the idea of killing easier targets, we can’t keep them away but also attack at the same time.” Glances were exchanged amongst you, hesitantly, you pulled out your fork. It wasn’t an ideal weapon, but considering no one else had a weapon, it was enough to create damage. Also taking into account you could barely hold yourself up to protect yourself, anyone who came close could be stabbed.

“Do what you have to do, I can manage myself.” You nodded towards the group that had already crossed the bridge, now uniting around the metal pole of the second tower to discuss in hushed whispers for once. 

Beomgyu’s eyes went wide at the sight of the fork, but he couldn’t resist the smile. “Holy shit, you actually managed to sneak this in? Where the hell did you get this from?

“The kimbap.” Soobin recalled, he hadn’t taken his. When he came back after the game the night after the forks were handed out, the bunks were already mostly cleared out, and his fork was gone. “The one from a few nights ago, right?”

“It was still stuffed under my pillow, a weapon even if it’s small is better than none.” Despite the rising hope, your attention was snapped back upon the sound of the beeping timer. You shouldn’t have underestimated this union, those thoughts of them being easy to break apart dissolved like snow as you examined the neatly tied knots from the sleeves of the jackets tied around their waists. They tied themselves together and unscrewed the metal pole from the middle, aiming it towards you.

“This doesn’t have to be hard.” Player 100 raised his hands in a peaceful manner, but his intentions were far from it. “Just tie the baby to the pole and jump off, we don’t have to make a big deal out of this.”

“Go to hell!” You spat, limping backwards until you couldn’t anymore. For further protection, even if Eun-seo cried, you zipped the remaining space that you hadn’t yet to cover her head. If you fell alongside her within the platform, then she wouldn’t slip out. “I’m not giving you my baby.”

“Do you not realize how sick this is? You don’t even have that much time left to live, why kill a baby?!” Soobin’s complaint deepened the scowls and frustrated noises from the group. They didn’t want to die, at least not here. “Do you realize how bad that makes you look? Don’t you feel bad?”

“That baby can’t even think! It won’t ever know that it once existed if it can’t regain consciousness!” 

“If you want them both, then fight us for them.” Beomgyu challenged, coiled to fight even though the massive metal pole left him at a disadvantage. In a split second decision, they hurled forward in blending shouts. You were moving away from the three men, keeping Eun-seo as close as you could as you limped your way away from the mess, trying to not get caught up on it.

Chaos burst through the not too wide platform, Soobin whipped out the blade Taehyun had given him, ducking underneath the striking pole that was aimed towards his head. Beomgyu went for the other end as the group moved facing separate sides, while also turning horizontally. The ones turned towards your way attempting to reach out for you. A scream of pain followed by flesh tearing open pierced the air, blood staining the metal knife as the pole swung clumsily towards Soobin once again, this time downwards. It closely brushed his shoulder, leaving a faint throb in a part of his skin that could have ended up being greater damage, but he managed to push himself off of his knees and stand up before it could have harmed him further. 

“Grab the bitch already!” One of the men snarled, pulling Beomgyu in the round of players and tumbling him to the ground. 

“I’ll fucking kill you if—” breath was stolen from his lungs, Beomgyu stopped speaking to focus on protecting his face from the kicks being landed on his face. 

“Just kill him and take her already!” A frustrated, angry cry left another one of them, the one that was attempting and making feeble attempts at striking Soobin. One wrong twist of the pole scraped against the ground, and Soobin lunged forward with the blade, pushing his own chest forward until his body hit heavily against player 100’s own. The other could barely walk due to the open stab on his thigh, knees weakened, but refusal to die was holding him upwards. You forced yourself as away from the commotion as you could, even if deep down you wanted to go help. You would be more of a liability than of help.

“Fuck, let me go!” The man screamed in panic, but soon stopped begging as Soobin dove the knife onto his back. Blood left his mouth and dirtied the once pristine white shirt, seeping down his hands as he pulled it out to cut through the tied jackets. He didn’t kill the older man, no. With gritted teeth, he stabbed the man one last time so he would go pliant but not quite dead, only to force him off of the edge. He didn’t scream, couldn’t when he was already in so much pain. The only indicating sign he had died was the announcer through the speakers saying he had been eliminated, since the loud splat of his body against the ground was barely audible through the fighting players.

Beomgyu was being stomped on, the left over player that was alongside Sunghoon dropped to his knees to land solid punches on his face after prying Beomgyu’s arms away from it.

“This could have been easier,” each word was punctuated with a punch, bruises formed along Beomgyu’s once fair skin, sounds of struggle leaving his lips as his body jerked around. The constricting hand on his throat made Beomgyu sound almost like a pained animal, it physically hurt to watch. But as you limped forward, Soobin shook his head. His lips mouthing ‘Stay back.’

He was tumbling over towards the two guys already, an attempt to get them off of him proved futile as the jackets untied, Sunghoon pushed the player who had been too focused on making Beomgyu’s face fill with more of his own blood, using him as a shield to save himself from the tip of the knife that pierced the other’s neck with a roar of pain that followed.

“You son of a bitch—I hope he kills you next!” The man cursed despite all of his pain, slumping forwards after the knife plunged into his back one final, fourth time. 

Sunghoon used his feet to push the now dead body towards Soobin, making him stumble backwards as the body was shoved towards him. Soobin stumbled back, arms swinging next to his sides to refrain from losing his balance. Once he regained his footing, he prepared to take one more lunge forwards, but halted before he even could raise his blade.

Beomgyu’s face was slowly turning purple from the lack of air, once confident punches becoming weak bumps of his fist against Sunghoon’s arm, a laughter cruel and confident all at once, keeping Beomgyu stuck in a headlock. “Come any closer and I’ll snap his neck. Put the blade down.”

Soobin glanced at you, then down at Beomgyu who was looking at him with tears already gathering in his eyes. Even if he didn’t step forward, he would for sure asphyxiate him. “Then let go of him.” Soobin swallowed, raising his hands to the air in a placating gesture.

“I said put the fucking knife down!” Sunghoon yelled, whipping his head to the side to push his bangs from his face. “Put it down or I’ll make sure all three of them die.”

The blade clattered to the ground, clanging in three lingering sounds in front of Soobin, who was trying his best to seem unharming.

“Kick it away from you.”

“What do you get from doing this? If you want to win, then I’ll jump off the next round. Just let them go.” A crack was eminent in his voice, genuine. Almost as powerless as you were.

“Playing the hero again, huh? Is her taste in men focused on men who try to play the hero? You’re only a pussy at the end of the day.” Sunghoon snorted, insults thrown carelessly, he had the upper hand. “You should’ve died. I should’ve killed you the second I got the chance to. But I didn’t.” A pause, bitterness fluctuating from both sides, just from different power balances. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll kill you now.”

Amongst the conflict with Soobin and Sunghoon, you could manage out Beomgyu’s purple face and weakening body. You had to do something, he would die if you didn’t. All of your thoughts seemed to lead to that single urge to save. Quickly, as silently as you could manage, you undid the knots that held Eun-seo close to your chest. You gave her a kiss to the forehead through the fabric, shakily setting her down.

Each shaky limp of yours lurking towards Sunghoon and Beomgyu made your heart miss a beat, you were holding your breath so tight you swore you could almost understand each squeeze of air being stopped from reaching Beomgyu’s lungs. The path was longer than necessary, teeth biting through the flesh of your teeth until the area became numb. All of you willpower singlehandedly focusing on making it through. You raised the fork, pointy teeth ready to strike the second you got the chance to.

“You’ll never see her again. You hear me?! You should’ve never met her in the first plac—” 

A cry, mixed with so much anger and resentment you built up for months crawled its way out from the back of your throat. You lost your footing, knees hitting the ground with an impact that made you nearly double over. The fork pierced clean through Sunghoon’s skin, next to his neck as blood started to pool out of the wound. His words were cut, his grip on Beomgyu loosening as the other finally gulped for air, the color finally returning to his bloodied and battered face, breathing through wheezes of air and blood flooding to his nose, soaking his mouth.

“Go to hell.” You rasped, meeting Sunghoon’s eyes as he whirled around to stop you from striking again. “You bitch—” he hissed.

You didn’t stop, instead, you pushed the fork towards the center of his neck, blood drenching your face in sprays as you forced your eyes shut as strongly as you pushed the knife in. “I hope you rot in the depths of hell, Sunghoon.”

“Player 333, eliminated!”

Finally exhausting itself to the brink, you allowed yourself to slump backwards. Sunghoon’s body didn’t fall with you, it was pulled and tossed to the side like a heavy weight by Soobin’s hands. “Are you okay?”

“Beomgyu.” You forced your voice out through the haze of exhaustion, attempting to sit upwards. “Beomgyu— check on him first. I’m fine.”

You faintly made out the exchange between them, the pain throbbing through your whole body was almost numbing, pushed to the very last nerve until it couldn’t move anymore. Your head lolled to the side, catching Beomgyu’s bloodied face and split mouth into view. The timer beeping signaled the second round ending, Eun-seo’s cries filling the air soon after. 

“Can you walk?” Soobin slid his jacket off, wiping Beomgyu’s face as carefully as he could manage. “Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“I can walk, yeah.” Beomgyu’s nods were quick jerks of his head, followed by the whirl of the extended metal platform towards the last tower. Eun-seo crying finally reminded him of you— the reason why he didn’t get choked to death in the first place. “The baby—Y/N, are they okay?”

“They’re fine. We have to go now, come on.” 

You had never been a big fan of goodbyes. Some goodbyes arrived painfully and bittersweet, just when you had finally gotten comfortable with the presence of someone in your life. Goodbyes meant you would see them again someday, or they meant that the person would be nothing but a faint memory of a face that would blur over as the years passed. You crossed it over to the last tower, but neither of you fought. Your bodies brushed together as you sat down, pressing the red button as it counted down from ten now. The instructions offered by the woman in the speakers was ignored, gibberish all of you had enough listening to.

“When I first survived,” Beomgyu began, breaking the silence as the time ticked. “I thought of myself as invincible. I arrived here with Kai, I wondered how hard this could really be. Even with everyone dying, I thought that—” His voice faltered, you didn’t even need to look at Beomgyu to recognize he was crying for the last time. “I thought that maybe I would leave unscathed.”

“But you’re still here, you made it, Beomgyu.” Soobin comforted, but he didn’t sound so convincing. It was down to the four of you, one of you would have to die. “We’re all here.”

“Don’t do this.” You shook your head, grieving before Beomgyu even moved to do anything. There was something extra painful about this goodbye, something that ached and burned like fire, spreading like a fever. There was a reason why you initially thought of this place as one of the depths of hell.

“I’ll go, you have a lot to accomplish, Beomgyu.” Soobin finally breathed out, standing, only to be pulled back down.

“No.” Beomgyu swallowed down his own tears, forcing one of his boyish smiles that had become his trademark at the beginning of the games. He wanted to go like Yeonjun did, with a smile. With peace and fulfillment. The money would bring him comfort if he won, but no money would be worth how much the deaths would torment him on a daily basis. “You have a baby. A daughter, Soobin.” He shakily pointed towards Eun-seo, shuffling to stand. “Get out of here, take good care of them. You’ll be an amazing father, we’ve all seen it.” A laughter left him, happy and carefree for once. “I want to go by my own terms. I want to see Kai and Yeonjun again, hell, even Taehyun.”

Soobin never told Beomgyu that Taehyun was standing behind the spectator glass inches above them, watching the solemn departure. Later on, he would wish he had. But the peacefulness and happiness in Beomgyu’s face was too much to be disturbed. So Soobin never shook away the illusion of Taehyun being dead.

“Beomgyu, please.” You kept jerking your head, refusing to accept it even if you knew this would mean all of you dying the second the timer struck zero. As selfish as it was, you couldn’t find it in you to let go of him. 

“I’ll be fine.” Beomgyu raised his pinky finger towards you—a promise. Your chest burned, shaky hands raising to wrap your pinky around his. “Live well, enjoy your daughter. Forget this ever happened. And when the world finally becomes gray and you don’t see it again anymore, I promise I’ll be the first one to greet you on the other side.” 

There was nothing graceful about the way Beomgyu stepped away from you and Soobin, nothing soothing about Soobin shaking as he held you tighter. For the last time, you flinched. The sound of Beomgyu’s body hitting the ground marked the end of the games, sacrificing himself for strangers that became his family despite being the one that wanted to live the most.

“Player 120, eliminated!”

“Player 434, pass.”

“Player 374, pass.”

“Player 454, pass.”

This feminine robotic voice would forever haunt you in your dreams and nightmares, just as the smiles of your once friends would.

     THE FIRST RAYS OF SUNLIGHT seeped from the curtains. Morning announced itself and woke you without the need of a timer, you didn’t need those anymore. Your days were mostly spent without chasing around the clock, you didn’t have to worry about bills as much, or about being chased down by men who wanted your money in the shape of your lungs. You stretched languidly, slipping off of the warmth of the bed to let your feet carry you towards the expanse of the kitchen, the soft sounds of the waves crashing against the nearby rocks, a soothing rhythm as the kitchen filled with sizzling sounds and the soft smell of neatly arranged breakfast.

You had never forgotten the games, it would be impossible. The memories would follow everywhere, sometimes they would overwhelm you and corner you in the darkest of nights, but they didn’t bring only bad memories. You fidgeted with the golden band around your ring, a smile as soft as the atmosphere around you at the memory of your wedding.

There weren’t many people, it was just family. Soobin’s mother managed to make it after he paid for her treatment, she was basically thrilled to finally have a daughter in law. She weeped and thanked you as if you had done her a favor once she learned Eun-seo’s name, which, speaking of, ended up being spoiled endlessly since the woman landed eyes on her. The front row chairs of your wedding held pictures you and Soobin fished out from the depths of the internet, three pictures of your once friends. A curt white veil was hung over the pictures in respect, their presence still there as you sealed until death do us apart with your lips against Soobin’s just a year after the games ended and everything clicked back into place.

You were pulled out of your reminiscence as warm lips met your cheek, arms wrapping around your body loosely as Soobin pressed himself against your back in a raspy voice he spoke in every morning. “You’re up early.”

“One of us has to make breakfast, Soob.” You chuckled, leaning back against his embrace despite your teasing. He still held you like you were the most precious thing in the world, still treated Eun-seo like she truly was his. Because in his eyes, she was. Warm hands slid down your body, settling above the barely formed bump. You had the surprise of being pregnant again three years later, and you had actually managed to enjoy pregnancy. Now, you truly understood why so many women said pregnancy is so enjoyable.

“And how is she?” He nuzzled against your neck, pressing a kiss to your warm skin that still had the lingering smell of the vanilla scent you liked from a body splash you favored.

“How are you so sure it’s a girl?” Your brows pinched together curiously, his lips warm against yours in a peck, barely a kiss. 

“Fatherly instincts.” He grinned, reaching his eyes who became crescents, the dimples of his cheeks showing. 

“Daddy! I can’t turn off my sleeping lamp!” Your four year old daughter called from her room, almost as if she had been summoned by the conversation. “Come quickly, it’s a big big emergency!”

“Well, that’s my cue.” Soobin left after another lingering kiss, leaving you alone to finish scrambling and salting the eggs on the pan.

Despite the fact most of your life was spent asleep, forcing yourself to be numb, you and Soobin managed to heal each other in your own ways. Once, you believed that the idea that love heals is dumb, but only because you never witnessed it or felt it. But Soobin’s love was so strong it made you feel weak sometimes.

Some things were ephemeral, like the presence of the friends you made—the friends you met back at the game that you wished were now in Jeju island with you, sharing a meal like you promised years ago. But some things weren’t, some things like until death does us apart really were forever. And even if they weren’t, being Soobin’s—Ephemerally his, didn’t sound quite so bad.

͟✿֔ ͟ຼ ꯭ ░ ׄ there’s nothing to keep you from falling in love

──── ၇͜ᩘ 𔒌 ﹔ posting after so long.. hi guys! are we even surprised? anyway, this is a reupload, i lost full access to my main!! TT.. anyway, all new ffs will be uploaded here, as well as old. :)

ᦔ◟ ͜ ◞ও 𝐓 𝐀 𝐆 𝐋 𝐈 𝐒 𝐓 . 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝓂 ◠ @soullesslien @buttersoob @dawngyu

[hyukanony]

Beomgyu Twitter(X) links

Disclaimer: All links contain NSFW! Open at your own discretion<3

Having him play with his toy until he cums and squirts for you.

Riding his cock on the dorm couch

Long haired Gyu in doggy

Edging him tied up on your chair

He likes to rut himself against the towel to cum <3

-

Its been months enjoy freaky moa (⁠ ⁠T⁠_⁠T⁠)⁠＼⁠(⁠^⁠-⁠^⁠ ⁠)

[enhaeil]

Saw that anon post about soobin. As a soobin jay stan, please please please write soobin 🙏 soobin series? Soobin shorts? Anythingg

ask and u shall receive anon 🫡 i might cook smth up this weekend, a soobin souffle

[titinachandesu-ya]

Soobin N$FW audio!! (18+)

Soobin couldnt take it anymore when you were laying on the bed wearing only a towel that showed your cleavage…

Traduction: I'm going to masturbate right now, do you want to be my toy? …You just need to show me your breasts, and your bangs too…Good…Fuck good. Grab your breasts with both hands…Gather them towards the center to make a cleavage…Good. Can you touch my bangs with your fingers too?…Do you like it, too?…Look at your face, you fucking bitch…I want to cum all over your face…Can I cum in your mouth?…Stick your tongue out and touch me…Oh my god, this feels so good! Just a little more like a slut. Make a V shape with your fingers, too..Ah..it's cold. I think I'm going to cum!

Duration: 2:13…

Do not steal (but you can reblog!!)

[enhaeil]

And when you start soobin fics… then what. Youre already my favorite, where do i place you after you start writing about my txt bias

thats so sweet btw 🥹💖 but i am ready to add a few people to my inventory, i write mostly for enha bc those r the posts that do well... but I definitely wanna get some soobin thoughts out and also start fr writing for &team!!

[chocunty]

✶ 𝗠𝗜𝗟𝗞𝗦𝗛𝗔𝗞𝗘

choi soobin x fem!reader

warnings: college au!, bet trope, popular!reader, nerd!soobin, kisses

𝄞 milkshake · kelis

THE COLD CUP was sweating between your fingers while you slowly stirred the straw, too distracted for someone who was clearly the center of everything there, laughter mixing with loud voices, your phone buzzing with notifications popping up on the screen, the chatter of the ice cream shop, none of it held your attention.

until something did.

❝ that one over there, look ❞ — you heard one of your friends comment, and tilted your head toward where she was looking.

as soon as your eyes landed on "that one" over there, you quickly studied the boy.

quiet, with earbuds in, a small açaí bowl beside the stacks of books resting on the table, while he spun a mechanical pencil between his fingers, completely focused on some random question.

you turned your attention, or at least your gaze, back to your table.

❝ i've never seen him hook up with anyone, what a waste ❞ — one friend commented, letting out a dramatic laugh right after.

❝ soobin, right? impossible, he probably doesn't even know how to hold a conversation ❞

at that moment, the silence that fell over the table wasn't because the conversation had ended.

it was because every gaze turned toward the one person who kept the word "impossible" out of her vocabulary.

and that got your attention. your nails tapping against the cup as if you'd already made up your mind before any bet even existed.

❝ impossible? ❞ — you questioned, resting your hand against your chin while staring at the cup in front of you, letting out a quiet laugh.

❝ i bet you can't get anything going with him ❞ — a girl challenged, making you look at her with a competitive smile.

❝ how much? ❞ — you asked, knowing you could do it, and not about to miss the chance to profit from it.

❝ i'll put in 50 ❞

❝ i'll put in 100 ❞

❝ 250 bucks, but there has to be at least a little kiss ❞

❝ obviously ❞ — you shot back, almost offended by the painfully obvious condition.

you grabbed the stack of cash, only leaving it hidden beneath your phone.

❝ she's actually doing it ❞ — you heard a whisper.

❝ poor boy ❞ — another whispered, but there was no pity in her voice.

❝ pay attention, babes ❞ — you stood up without rushing, adjusting your miniskirt and fixing your hair, not even glancing at the little mirror someone offered you, you didn't need it.

you confidently walked to the boy's table, where he refused to take his eyes off his notebooks.

until he saw you casually sitting down beside him.

the boy panicked, dropping his mechanical pencil in a sudden movement while lifting his eyes to the feminine figure approaching him.

you smiled sweetly, already knowing the damage you were about to do.

❝ soobin, right? ❞ — you tossed your hair over one shoulder, calm, while crossing your legs, making your skirt ride up just enough to reveal the glowing skin of your thighs.

❝ did i scare you? sorry about that. ❞ — you apologized while bending down to pick up the pencil.

❝ y-yeah... yeah, that's right! soobin, that's my name, nice to meet you! ❞ — he blurted out, rushed and desperate, as if he was afraid of dragging things out too long and waking up from whatever dream he was having.

you laughed, amused, leaning a little closer, just enough to make him look directly at your pink lips, still cold from the milkshake you'd been drinking.

❝ soobin... ❞ — you called out, drawing out his name, tilting your head and having even more fun when he unconsciously mirrored the movement.

❝ i got curious about something, what's a cute guy like you doing here all alone, buried in this ice cream shop? ❞

he swallowed hard, adjusting his glasses with his pinky finger as they slid down his nose, a consequence of the sweat that had started forming the moment you arrived.

❝ i-i... i'm studying! f-finals are coming up, right! ❞ — soobin answered, hating himself for not being able to form a sentence without stuttering, but it wasn't entirely his fault.

at least not only his.

not when the prettiest girl on campus, the number one girl at the university, was sitting there, talking to him, showing more of her thighs while looking at him, highlighting the curve of her chest through the neckline of her top.

all of it was driving soobin toward ruin, and you hadn't even started yet.

❝ hm, true... i think i'm going to need some help studying, i can't understand anything the professor says ❞ — a lie, a complete lie.

you weren't just a pretty face, you had a brain and used it well, you were popular not only because of your insane facecard, but because you were the student professors always used as an example when assigning academic projects.

❝ will you help me, soobin? ❞ — the boy was going to have a heart attack if he kept hearing you say his name in that drawn-out, sweet tone.

❝ i will! i'll help, absolutely, for sure, just tell me the day and i'll come by your dorm ❞ — the boy blushed, feeling the weight of his own words hit him.

❝ o-or you could come to mine, or w-we could meet at the library... or something ❞

you laughed, finding his desperate need to explain himself adorable.

❝ come to my dorm, if you want, tomorrow even. ❞ — you watched the boy slowly lose the ability to breathe, getting even more nervous.

you were having fun, you knew that if you wanted to, you could kiss him right now. but you wanted to stretch things out a little longer, wanted to see how far he'd go under your spell.

❝ my girls are waiting for me at the table, but honestly, i don't want to go back there right now. ❞

❝ no? ❞

❝ no, i don't ❞ — he stared at you in disbelief, as if he couldn't believe everything you'd just said.

❝ i want to spend more time with you, soobin... do you want to spend more time with me? ❞ — you suggested, leaning a little more in his direction.

❝ of course! ❞ — he wasn't stupid, he knew a chance like that didn't come around often.

you decided to speed things up a little, not just to get the money, no.

but because that closeness, that desperate devotion soobin seemed to have for you, made you curious about him.

❝ do you have a girlfriend, soobin? ❞ — you slid your hand down his arm, which despite being slim, showed some definition.

❝ n-no, i don't ❞ — he kept getting redder and redder, and nearly jumped off the stool when he felt your sharp nails brush against his bicep.

❝ then i guess i'm lucky ❞ — you looked at him, maintaining eye contact that only broke when his gaze dropped to your lips.and you noticed, of course you noticed.

❝ l-lucky? ❞ — he couldn't stop staring at your full lips.

❝ yeah, lucky... you're so handsome, you're smart, it must be hard finding a girl who doesn't want something with you. ❞

and it really was, but his lack of experience made many girls give up before even starting a conversation.

you, however, never gave up on anything, and loved teaching boys like him, loved leave them polished and ready for whoever came next.

❝ o-oh, come on... i'm not all that ❞ — he kept staring at your mouth.

❝ do you want to kiss me, soo? ❞ — you laid your cards on the table, using a silly nickname you'd come up with on the spot.

❝ you can't stop looking at my lips, do you want to kiss me? ❞

he looked back at you, into your eyes, almost trembling with desperation, because he really, really wanted to.

❝ i'll let you, come on, kiss me ❞ — you grabbed the collar of the beige shirt he was wearing, making him gasp instinctively, he'd never gotten this far before.

❝ i-i don't know... i d-don't ❞

you simply smiled, leaning even closer, until you casually rested one leg over his thigh.

❝ i don't care, i want to be your first, i'll help you, now kiss me, please, soo ❞

you took one of the boy's cold hands, guiding it directly to your waist, pressing it there, only stopping when you realized he was squeezing on his own.

you leaned in slightly and left a brief kiss at the corner of his mouth.

lifting your eyes to watch his glasses fog up.you tugged gently on his collar, bringing him closer, just to press your lips against his calmly.

at first, soobin froze, only gripping your waist with all his strength, as if channeling all his nerves into it.

but when you slightly parted your lips and pulled back for air, he missed the contact, and on impulse, pulled you back, resting a hand against the back of your neck and bringing you close again.

you were surprised, pleasantly, and took the chance to wrap your arms around his neck, anchoring yourself there.

when you asked for entrance by pressing your tongue lightly against his lips, you almost jumped when you felt him part them and let his tongue brush against yours, sending a pleasant spark through you as you tasted the sweet flavor of the açaí he'd been eating.

he started holding the back of your neck more firmly, while matching your movements and leaving you dizzy with a kiss that somehow wasn't being led by you anymore.

when you finally pulled apart from lack of air, the mess he was in only made you want to kiss him again.

his flushed face, swollen lips, crooked glasses.

you looked similar, your hair slightly messy from soobin's grip.

you smiled, instinctively fixing your hair while glancing toward your friends, who were completely ecstatic over what had just happened.

he lifted his hand from your waist to the table, looking at you as though you were an angel who might disappear at any second.

you stood up, leaning down just enough to leave him a little message in his ear.

❝ tomorrow, my dorm, 6:00 PM ❞ and left a damp kiss just below his ear, feeling him shiver right after.

you walked back to your table, sitting down casually and picking up your milkshake, which somehow seemed colder than before, or maybe you were just warmer.

❝ girl... you're my fucking idol! ❞

you simply smiled, sipping from your straw while looking at them.

❝ my milkshake brings them to me, what can i say? ❞

[wishforjei]

lowk need that soobin audio please...

NSFW audio! requested!

soobin can't handle how good your mouth feels.

[gyuvincakes]

⠀ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀ㅤㅤ⎯⠀ happy birthday, pretty

최수빈 x 𝑓!reader 최범규 smut ⸝⸝ threesome (beomgyu centered lowkey) ⸝⸝ cringe cringe cringe ⸝⸝ degradation ⸝⸝ sub!reader ⸝⸝ sub!soobin ⸝⸝ dom!beomgyu ⸝⸝ beomgyu is quite mean ⸝⸝ beomgyu calls reader a slut ⸝⸝ head pusher soobin cus why not ⸝⸝ unprotected sex ⸝⸝ voyeurism ⸝⸝ orgasm denial ⸝⸝ I think that’s all! 𓊆ྀི 𝑣𓊇ྀི   idk if I like this but whatever it’s not proofread so there mightttt be some mistakes but I hope you guys enjoyed it idk >.< ꣑ 𓈒ׄ ‎ 8,482

Soobin and Beomgyu have been friends ever since they can remember and they met you in high school, sophomore year and have been very inseparable since then. You three have always done things together, you all went through the same hell of a class together, you all applied for the same college and got accepted at the same exact time, and you all even got a job together before Beomgyu was quick to get fired for goofing around. You all even share a apartment together because you three couldn’t handle the thought of living in the dorms with strangers they probably have never talked to or met in their lives so you all agreed to get an apartment together.

Now you three are in your junior year of college and surprise surprise, your birthday was coming up! They were struggling pretty badly on what to get for you. They wanted to get you something thoughtful and memorable but their minds were clouded and couldn’t think of anything so Beomgyu eventually decided on something Soobin was definitely never expecting. On the day of your birthday you spent the whole day at your friend’s place where they hosted a birthday party just for you and they were invited but chose not go to which made you feel bad but you decided to just shrug it off. Time quickly passed by and before you knew it, it had become dark out so you decided to go home because you also wanted to spend your birthday with your best friends but you had no idea what they had for you.

When you got home, they were sitting there on the couch as if they’ve been waiting for you for quite some time now and the decorations behind them caught your attention. There were pink and white balloons which were your favorite colors and it brought a smile to your face and there was even a cake on the coffee table so you hurried over to them and jumped on Beomgyu’s lap to hug him which caused him to groan as the abruptly got on top of him but he smiled before you pulled back to look at him with your smile and he had to try not to get hard at the sight of it.

Soobin watched with slight jealousy from the side and you noticed which caused you to giggle so you got off Beomgyu and went over to Soobin to hug him as well but he didn’t hold back like how Beomgyu did and he wrapped his arms around your waist and looked at Beomgyu with a smirk causing Beomgyu to scoff silently. After some time you pulled back from Soobin and you were quick to notice the tension between them but little did you know this was actually a plan of theirs and it seems like it’s going to happen...

You glanced at each one of them and looked at them with confusion as they intensely looked at each other. “What’s up with you two?” You asked hesitantly as you looked at them but they continued to intensely stare into each other’s eyes and it honestly was quite discomforting and you didn’t know what to do so you sat there with lots of thoughts whirling on your head and there was only one thought that you thought would work. You looked up at Beomgyu and kissed him abruptly causing him to completely freeze up and he didn’t know what to do and Soobin himself was shocked too because he and Beomgyu never expected this from you.

You pulled away before turning around towards Soobin and he looked at you with complete shock. “Don’t fight.. it’s my special day, please.” You pleaded softly before they nodded vigorously agreeing with you and Beomgyu’s mind was filled with the fact that you just kissed him he forgot about the surprise he had for you and he was in his head he didn’t even realize you were talking to him. “Beomgyu?” You kept calling out his name and he finally answered, “Oh sorry.. what did you say again?” You smiled at him before speaking “I was just wondering if you got me any gifts or anything?” You glanced between him and Soobin “You guys did say you were going to get me something special and memorable,” you said as you smiled and Beomgyu looked up at Soobin who just shrugged.

Beomgyu looked at you for a moment his face completely blank as he thought of how to set his ‘gift’ for you to plan and he glanced down at your thighs before looking up at you causing you to also look down at your thighs before looking up at him and you realized what he was suggesting causing your lips to tilt up into a smile. Before you knew it, you were in your bedroom on top of him as you rode him and let out your loud yet sweet sounding moans that sounded like music to them and Soobin watched as he jerked off on your face and let out small whimpers meanwhile Beomgyu let out low groans as he held onto your hips.

Beomgyu looked at you as he dirty talked you and called you names but it only turned you on which caused you to feel humiliated. “Such a fucking slut. Look at you all fucked out under just a few minutes.” You only whimpered and Soobin grabbed your hand wanting you to stroke his cock as he pleaded softly. You felt your climax coming up and Beomgyu noticed but quickly pulled out causing you to cry out at the sudden loss but he just smirked at you and all you wanted to do was punch that stupid cocky smirk out of his face. Beomgyu got up and started stroking his cock at the sight of you jerking off Soobin.

Soobin wanted to so badly push your head to make you suck him off but he didn’t want to do anything you didn’t want to do so he just rested his hand on the back of your head but after some time he got impatient and let out an apology to which you looked up at him with confusion wondering why he’s suddenly apologizing before the back of your head was pushed into his huge dick instantly causing you to gag but he didn’t care because he was too far gone and Beomgyu watched amazed at what Soobin just did. Soobin looked down at you as he let out soft whines and moans at the sight of you moving your head back and forward on his cock and that was enough to bring him to his climax.

He released inside your mouth without any warning causing you to choke as he pulled back but he looked satisfied and in a daze which made you feel grateful for being the one to make him feel that way. The nice feeling was quickly cut short as Beomgyu abruptly pushed you onto the bed causing you to fall on your stomach and he smirked as he looked at your cunt that was clenching around nothing. He glanced at Soobin who is still recovering from his climax before looking down at you and entering you without a warning as he kept your head pushed down on your pillow emerging a scream from you at the sudden contact. “Why’re you so tight fuck..” he moaned out lowly and you wanted to look up at him you really did but he kept your head down on your pillow with force you didn’t even know he had.

His pace increased in under a few minutes and you felt like you could cum any second now as he whispered dirty words into your ear which only felt humiliating in the best way possible. “You’re close right? You want me to cum inside yeah? You’d look so fucking slutty.” All you could do was whimper and tremble underneath him as Soobin watched from a far with his dick hardening again. Beomgyu felt you getting close and he himself was getting close as well and he reached out to spank your ass with a smirk on his face causing you to cry out. “You want to cum? Want me to cum inside and fill up your tight hole?” You whined out as you nodded vigorously “Y-Yes please! Please please..” You pleaded and he glanced over at Soobin before looking at you.

He smiled feeling satisfied by your pleas but his pace wasn’t even close to slowing down and you were trying your hardest to hold back the orgasm you felt coming up. “Such a pretty girl.. look at you, so fucking cute. You can cum now, pretty.” He said and you instantly let go of the knot you felt in your stomach and released and soon after Beomgyu also let go and released inside you filling up your pussy with his cum. He stayed inside you for a bit longer but didn’t move wanting to catch his breath before pulling away and leaning in to peck your lips gently before pulling back with a satisfied smile as he reached out to pat your head. “Happy birthday, pretty” he said before getting up to leave and closing the door behind him but Soobin stayed behind.

He was hesitant before going up to you. “Can you go one more time.. I promise I won’t take long.” He said and you just smiled and nodded vigorously knowing he had a monster of a cock under those sweatpants he’s wearing that you desperately wanted to have inside of you.

You could tell that tonight was gonna be a restless night.