im dying squirtle

🐭mouse // 19 // 5'3" // SW 61kg | CW 49kg | GW 46kg | ig: sugxrshy

[tally-me-banana]

can confirm

[fahrminbrahmin]

idk if anyone follows this blog anymore but im currently idk close to 100kg?? I eat regularly, I have such a belly and chubby cheeks and full hips and im actually happy :) recover was horrific my mind told me horrible things but my health overall improved so much over the years i still struggle with body issues but they dont hurt my mind as much anymore. Im okay now. Im okay :)

It hurts to see others struggle with EDs. I know this is cliché, and it doesnt really feel like it helps at the time but. it does, it get better, so much better. Im 25 years old and growing and thriving and thats all i want for any others. The road is so soooo hard, its worth it tho. I cant believed I lived with the constant pressure and torment from my mind but thats what it was. It was my mind fighting me and thats what an illness is, its your body fighting you, in this circumstance for the worse.

Bless you all. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but you’ll be okay.

[hungerhurtsbut-starving-works]

Ana problems

[furbyp]

That bpd feel when one minute you’re screaming, crying, scratching at your skin and pulling your hair and hitting yourself and ten minutes later you’re sitting on the sofa scrolling through tumblr eating potato waffles

[fahrminbrahmin]

me before ed: omg how i'm going to survive till lunch with eating this one little apple???😩😩😩

me right now: hmmm, if i'll cut this apple in 2 pieces, it can be my both lunch AND DINNER👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

[embracingwild]

The middle of recovery is awful. It does not feel good. There are moments where it will be clear why you are doing this, ones that will take your breath away. But a majority of the time you will question everything, your thoughts will be racing so much that you will feel like you can’t breathe. You will spend countless days wondering why things can’t be quiet, wondering why you are bothering to work so hard when not fighting would be effortless. Recovery does not feel good. If you are looking around you and are ashamed because you are not in love with this process, please, listen to me. Take a deep breath- It’s okay. It’s okay to hate it. It’s okay to say it sucks. It’s okay to want to give up, to struggle immensely, to be angry, to be uncomfortable (you should be!). and it’s okay to not understand why your smile still feels empty when your stomach is full again. Recovery does not feel good. For goodness sake, I hate it!!! Do not mistake my positivity for perfection. I am not walking through this fire gracefully. I burn and fall and become ashes. And every morning I rise and face the flames over and over again.

So please, do not beat yourself up if you are feeling like a failure for not being happy and perfect. Healing is not linear. And you are still brave.

[ineffablythin]

me: *weighs self*

me: not to be dramatic but i want to jump off a building

[backformoreboy-deactivated20220]

I go from wanting to never eat again to wanting to eat normally to wanting to eat everything in the kitchen and then back to not wanting to eat again multiple times a day and I’m just very tired of it okay

[carving-my-skeleton]

Me while fasting:

*completely blanks while in the middle of something*

What was I doing again? Oh right, destroying my body.

[u-l-z-z-a-n-g]

[sosyebae-deactivated20180218]

What you got made fun of in school for?

[eating-disorder-memes]

Happens every time lmao

[hxngxp]

Me: how many calories in this?

Friend: one chip?

Me: ya

Friend: who cares???

Me: oh haha no one *laughs nervously*

[not-soft-anymore-deactivated202]

[ha-roro]

10WORLD 🌰

[girl-with-skinny-dreams]

As someone who can not control themselves when they start eating I FUCKING HATE when I see things like “you can have some chocolate, it’s okay, just have a small piece”. Like? I can not have ONE piece and then put it away, once I start I will finish the entire chocolate bar and most likely start looking for other things to eat as well.

[kmarx]