Damn this school year taught me that I’m still really unhappy, I need professional help again, and that I’m still a piece of shit!!

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@failingsunlight
Damn this school year taught me that I’m still really unhappy, I need professional help again, and that I’m still a piece of shit!!
I haven’t seen Taz in 5 days and it’s rough :/
Don’t want to be home Don’t wanna be in keno
big müde
It’s not you. It’s anyone. Sometimes I don’t want anyone around. Some afternoons I lie on my bed and the light comes through the shutters on the floor and I think I never want to leave my own room.
Joan Didion, Run River (via anamorphosis-and-isolate)
Im so burnt out and it’s not even December yet
Daydreaming about alternative lives to escape my own has become a coping mechanism which I have internalised so much that it happens unconsciously throughout the day. I’ll be always daydreaming in the back of my head no matter what I do
But like why is there still this concept that males don’t like cute mushy romantic shit and being emotionally taken care of? Just the other day I was cuddling with my boyfriend and after admiring him for awhile I told him, “Your eyes are so beautiful, they look like mini oceans” and I swear to god I heard him squeak in embarrassment and saw his cheeks actually begin to blush. Sometimes he likes being the little spoon and although I’m half his size I’m always happy to play jet pack. If he’s having a bad day he knows he can lay his head on my shoulder and just bawl his eyes out and I won’t think any less of him. Guys have emotional needs and want to feel loved and taken care of too yanno.
Boys deserve emotional reassurance just like anybody. They deserve compliments and cuteness, too.
I get jealous really easily but not like an angry vengeful jealous more like a really sad lonely jealous because everybody likes everybody more than they like me and I really really don’t blame them.
Ya girl... lost her virginity