people may come and go, but their mark will always remain. and yours is left with me.
The more universal term for this type of thing is ‘follow forever’ but since I have put this muse on an indefinite hiatus I don’t believe that forever can be used here. Nevertheless, I am grateful for everyone that I ever got the chance to write with during my five months on this blog. And to those that I never got to, maybe someday, somehow that could change. Everyone here is lovely, whether specifically mentioned on the list or not. You all have something special about you, and I hope you never forget that.
On rainy or cold days she’d go in to an old-fashioned coffee house where classical music played at full volume, sink down into a worn-out sofa, and read her books, a serious look on her face as she listened to Schubert’s symphonies, Bach’s cantatas.
“Yo, yo, yo! You act like I’m not like this usually. Is it my fault I wanna make you laugh so bad? And all I ever get for it is… attitude.” He frowns, exaggerating as usual but he’d by lying if he wasn’t slightly affected by her bluntness. Only because he lacked the ability to care about others that offending him was near impossible. They could curse his parents for all he cares, and as long as there’s no attachment then the person was more or less irrelevant, and he’d continue being his rough self. Sooyoung, however, was not at all a case like that, and whether she knows it or not her words held a lot more meaning for him. “Alright, Alice. I’ll be someone else’s wonderland.”
Next was having to convince her that she really was a big deal, but not in a sense that they had to worry. Sky’s not gonna let a bunch of strangers get in the way of them, and if anything he found interrogations to be rather fun. He’d boast everything about Sooyoung regardless of how it made others feel. That’s blatant insensitivity on his part, but nothing new to those who truly believed they knew his character. “Not so much recently, but. I get asked about you? I dunno. It’s like would hop fences to know what’s going on between us.”
“is that what this really is about?” emphasis on really, because she wasn’t convinced it was the case but it was her nature to feel apologetic and so she does, so deeply she even wanted to apologise. it shows on the frown that formed in her face, but no words could come out. not yet, at least. she was trying to sense his true intentions, but it was just her luck she was bad at reading people so instead of a sorry, she tries a different approach that still could pass for the same sentiment. “just... be yourself. i laugh all the time when you’re fooling about, don’t i?” and in silence, she gives him an awkward pat on the shoulder, which she regrets as soon as she retracts her arm. that wasn’t necessary at all, she thinks and she felt fainthearted just from the small gesture that shouldn’t mean anything.
she never once thought of possessing a person. his insistence on the idea of him being her wonderland was simply silly to her. yet there was a hint of jealousy with how her eyes twitched at the statement that follows. “someone else’s? who...?!” she blinks with fiercely widened eyes before she tries very hard to revert back to her poised stance. “what would even go on between us...” she clears her throat whilst she gives him nothing more than a sidelong glance but all that cool, calm, and composed act breaks into a series of nosy questions. “what do they usually ask? what do you say about me? i don’t even know all these people. who are they?”
oh– wait– [ ` he blinks yet again, his excitement from the possibility of a potential new episode of Naruto fading. they obviously weren’t on the same page, especially after hearing her admit to not watching it ] uhm. so– no.. bread and butter.. but that’s okay–!! I mean.. you didn’t really know, so. [ ` he chuckles, giving a small shrug ] except.. survive? On.. bread and butter..? Won’t.. you get hungry after awhile.. that food isn’t really the most filling– and wouldn’t you crave– other stuff???
i do feel a bit... grave. i apologize. -her features distort into a frown, with eyebrows furrowed and all, teeth nibbling on her lower lip- i’m sure it is a great show. -she tries her best at reassuring him, making a mental note of checking its printed version at least- oh, certainly. you would crave for something else but that’s the point of survival. you need to overcome the urges and live off of the very basic things, have your body adjust to it.
( ♚ ) –- ❝ milk? doesn’t that only help growing until you’re reaching your adult years? ❞ the male asked with head canting slightly to the side, already noticing how the woman before him, was trying not to admit on some things; causing jeongguk wanting to poke a little in case it’d frustrate her a little further on. ❝ i think you’re tall already though.. for a girl and all. i think this height is matching you perfectly. ❞ assuring her with a gentler nod of his head, a smaller smile appearing on his features only seconds later.
“...does it?” she knew that, and he wasn’t wrong at all. she was way past the limit and she could hardly deny the fact herself but that didn’t mean she was going to succumb to what she initially disagreed to. for him to stray off the topic as well was a relief to her and she indulges herself into the brief small talk within the complex conversation. “mm, i do think so. over here, at least. back home, i am very much average, if not shorter than most people at all. but i like this height. i’d be alright with any height as long as it’s more than 3 inches... i suppose.” she says the latter in an almost timid tone, as if it wasn’t her own words being formulated. as if someone else had told her this. and it was that way with a lot of the things she would normally say, which was the reason for the constant series of identity crises.
she didn’t want to continue on with the former clash of ideas. not that she exactly thought wrong of his suggestions, it was just her. she respected his case as he seemed to be a person that had a fair share of experiences, whatever those might be. and so she leaves the discussion in silence, anxiously tapping her nails on the rest where her arm lays.
❝ I didn’t realize it until now, but I don’t really know anything
about them, or what kind of people they are, really. You can’t
see inside a person’s heart. But who would want to, right? ❞
정 as-tri-na | b l i n d | not new, but revamped
( begin. ) reblog ♻ like ♥ follow
“growing up isn’t the problem, forgetting is!” she exclaims, pre-occupied with work dumped on her desk. it wasn’t often that she vented about her disconnect to childhood, hence what she assumed was the reason for her growing contemptuous outlook on things. she had a sense that it would happen eventually and she would have to battle out being consumed by it but she hadn’t expected it to be so soon. after all, she was a kid at heart. although there was no denying how she’s had less to believe in than she did before. if only she had her father around, perhaps it’d have been different even in just the slightest. sooyoung was grateful, however, for jisoo’s company. they were almost alike in personality; though there was something distinctive about the older female and it was what kept her drawn to her. sometimes the younger would be confused with the words she chose to use on some occasions. blame it on the language barrier! sooyoung would excuse.
perhaps that was another reason she liked her as company. it was a learning experience each time. she had always wished she could identify herself to be part of the culture. she considered herself an outcast, yet ironically, there was a slight sense of belonging that she only truly felt with jisoo. she was an inspiration to the younger, and it was a bonus how jisoo fulfilled an outlet she could let out her sentiments. “don’t you think so? in such a harsh world, we’re told and taught many things that rid us of our beliefs; beliefs that others make out to be of sheer folly. it’s tragic. i suppose i’m partially at fault. perhaps i’m simply gullible.”
I know a spell to make you fall in love with someone. Should I try it on you? Will you fall in love with me afterwards?
she had always thought there must have been such a thing. a potion that made it possible, or something beyond humans. growing up and watching her parents keep dear thoughts to each other all the while remembering to display their appreciation for one another made her think it was some sort of... magic. yet there was no proof to it. perhaps love merely works in mysterious ways and once it comes to her, only then will she believe. “hm,” she ponders, eyes squinted and fingers tapping on her chin. “wouldn’t you want for me to fall in love with you naturally?”
taken aback, dainty hands press against her chest and she looks at him with expressions painting bewilderment. she found it inappropriate but she didn’t want to be assuming. “this sounds… rather morbid. that’d mean i would die, won’t i?”
“i didn’t know you were proficient in the dark arts... should i be frightened?” she asks, eyes rounding up faultless. “but you’re so lovely... and sweet, and charming.”
“bubbles!” she raises both hands enthusiastically then cheerily bursts into rhymes. “there are bubbles in the air. there are bubbles in your hair! bubbles, bubbles as pretty as bubbles can be. bubbles, bubbles popping all around me.”
What I didn’t know at the time was that this is what time is like for most women: fragmented, interrupted by child care and housework. Whatever leisure time they have is often devoted to what others want to do – particularly the kids – and making sure everyone else is happy doing it. Often women are so preoccupied by all the other stuff that needs doing – worrying about the carpool, whether there’s anything in the fridge to cook for dinner – that the time itself is what sociologists call “contaminated.”
I came to learn that women have never had a history or culture of leisure. (Unless you were a nun, one researcher later told me.) That from the dawn of humanity, high status men, removed from the drudge work of life, have enjoyed long, uninterrupted hours of leisure. And in that time, they created art, philosophy, literature, they made scientific discoveries and sank into what psychologists call the peak human experience of flow.
Women aren’t expected to flow.
+ So the purpose of this meme is to give a little info on your muses without having to rely on others to fill your ask with meme questions. I know how disappointing it can be to come back to an empty ask so I wanted to create a meme that anyone and everyone can do (mun and muse)
The rules are simple, you do not need to be tagged to fill out the questions, but once you have you must reblog and tag 12 of your followers to spread the love. You can fill it out as many times as your heart desires ( we all know muses can change with their character development. )
1. What is your favorite word?
“brillig! about four o’clock in the afternoon when one begins to broil things for dinner! also fairfarren. may you travel far under fair skies. i’m not certain they’re real words but i like the sound of it, and their meanings, made up or not!”
2. What is your least favorite word?
"guddler! it’s what i-- we call a thief... at least in my world. who likes thieves? especially those who steal hearts are the most awful. when someone takes a heart out forcefully, the skies release drops of what i call frumious. it’s filthy, with a very very very foul smell. if you get it in your skin, it stays for days and makes your skin green!”
3. What turns you on?
“if by turn on, you mean a switch, or a sort of relay through a circuit, then i’m not sure i have the answer for it. i haven’t quite imagined myself as an electrical machine, or a component at the least. though if i’m mistaking this for another question, which i presume relates to... standards? i don’t particularly condone setting that for people, but... to simply answer your question, i’d prefer if a person had good manners! being passionate about something is a huge plus!”
4. What turns you off?
“i believe we’ve gone over this, or i’ve contemplated enough to figure out what it is that’s really being asked here, then i must say it’s bad manners and lack of determination.”
5. What sound do you love?
“i’m afraid i’ve got a shortfall in this department. my knowledge of it, or experience per se, isn’t sufficient enough to give a good answer but maybe i’d say it sounds like the whinnying of a horse that’s chained to a carousel or a sloth in its first battle against a hundred day old panda. it’s hard to explain.”
6. What sound do you hate?
“i don’t hate any sound. i’d dread the day that i couldn’t hear even the most annoying sounds, but do dislike the sound of silverware scoring against another metal. sometimes it brings my jaws an odd pang of pain.”
7. What is your favorite curse word?
"the most i’ve said was ‘screw you’ but i must admit i’ve felt guilty pleasure in doing so.”
8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
“i think it would be ideal to be a captain of a ship, or the head pilot of a flight. it would be such an experience but neither are professions i’d dedicate myself into doing for the rest of my life.”
9. What profession would you not like to do?
“anything that would turn leisure out of reach and something of a luxury instead.”
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
"i don’t ask for much. maybe a simple recognition of the efforts i’ve made or just reassurance that i have done something significant throughout my life. but it’d be nice if god somehow ended up sounding and looking like morgan freeman. that would explain a lot of questions i’ve had in life.”
11. Something that others do not know about you?
“i had an imaginary friend named polydeuces and he/she didn’t leave my side until i was at least 13.”
12. Sexual Preference?
“it hasn’t crossed my mind yet but i wouldn’t subjugate myself to something this specific.”
13. What position do you sleep in?
"just on my back, i suppose? i wake up every morning in a different position, though.”
14. What if someone told you…you HAD to lose, just this one time?
"i wouldn’t mind losing just once, or twice! maybe not thrice... but i’d have to be in the situation to know. i’m sure it’ll contribute to my growth as a person in some way.”
15. Greatest fear?
"losing the people i treasure the most because of the rash decisions i keep making that harms them along the way or to become the person i didn’t want to be.”
16. If you could leave one thing to be remembered by, what would it be?
"a story of a great adventure.”
17. Middle name?
"well, i believe i don’t have one. unless joy counts. but it is my legal first name back home.”
