i frighten children. @fairly-useless-dragon - Tumblr Blog

Hi y'all! Welcome to my brand-new author blog! I figured I needed one now that Twitter is imploding and I was NOT going to promote my books on the same account where I post pictures of manatees and argue with strangers about which of the brothers from Supernatural would win at Twister. (Sam. It's definitely Sam.)

So hi! I'm the author of The Lumbering Giants of Windy Pines, forthcoming from HMH. It's a spooky MG novel featuring a loner, tomboy wheelchair user heroine; a missing mom; a ghost-obsessed neighbor; a tiny, fairly useless, and possibly imaginary Yiddish dragon; and the scary woods full of soul-draining demons they have to brave to save Mama and their town.

I'm also working on a new book and excited to talk about that! There will probably also occasionally still be manatee pictures. I'm glad you're here.

Love, Gabe

otherwindow

the first sentient robot to realize deceased humans and animals can’t be repaired or backed up on a server is gonna be so devastated

otherwindow

Little robot, nudging a body: i fix Little robot, nudging a body: i fix Little robot, nudging a body: i fix Little robot, nudging a body: i fix Little robot, nudging a body: i fix Little robot, nudging a body: i fix Little robot, nudging a body: i fix Little robot, nudg

otherwindow

#ah man medical robots who break free from their first directive of Get Money from Patients and follow their Core Idea of Help People #and rove around providing what little medical care they can

#security androids using their being mosly bulletproof to bravely seek peaceful resolutions

#engineer droids who refuse to work with faulty tech or supar metals for fear of the vehicle not keeping its humans safe

#man man man part of robot culture is wondering what keeps humans seemingly unafraid of death when it feels like it could be anywhere

vaspider

borderlinexcrazy

any room can be a panic room if you just give me a fucking second

secondlina

Check out my ongoing comic Crow Time. It has crows, and also neat pantheons of epic beasties.

thatsbelievable

daco-broman

shit I missed my window, next week I guess

the-worm-man

Reblog on Tuesday to let your followers know it’s safe to leave the bog

eldritch-bard

The best picture I have ever taken of my cat

#if this cat's name isn't spaghetti sauce it's a crime

homunculus-argument

Fantasy idea:

Goblins do not have a concept of personal property or privacy. They're often labelled simply as thieves, but they genuinely do not understand why a group of travellers would be upset by waking up to someone rummaging through their camp to see what they'll find, pocketing whatever looks cool, and eating their rations. A goblin feels perfectly fine walking into another goblin's house to do so.

They will also tell you everything about themselves to introduce themselves. Not only their name and where they live, but also what they do for a living, how many spouses and children they have, their parents and siblings' names, what they have done with their lives and who their best friends are. A particularly accomplished goblin can and will take 20-30 minutes to fully introduce themselves.

Travellers who manage to start a polite conversation with a goblin instead of immediately resorting to violence to defend their property will soon - to their great confusion - be invited to the goblin's home to meet their family and be welcome to stay as long as they need. This might feel strange to them, but deep down it's a cultural misunderstanding.

The goblin list of things to include in one's long introductions isn't a standardised list, but goblins have a general idea of what they expect to hear in them. They don't have a concept of private information any more than they have genuinely private property, and if someone's list doesn't involve spouses and children, that can only mean that they don't have any. If a goblin won't say where they live, that means they don't have a home. If they don't list who their friends are, that can only mean they don't have any friends.

If a traveller only introduces themselves with their name, perhaps profession, and "this is my stuff", then naturally that must be all that they have in the world. If they had friends, family, or anything else in life, obviously they would have said so. How horrible that someone doesn't have anything but a name. And if you won't tell them your name they'll assume you don't have one of those, either.

supermodelcats

supermarketcrush

what's a book you read as a teenager that was so magical and personally profound to you it literally changed your life, doesnt matter if the book was actually well written or not. mine's probably the catcher in the rye

#parable of the sower

irishiris

vaspider

YES PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

drarryking

This is actually info I didn’t know

marauders4evr

Seriously folks review my books! Review everyone’s books!

It’s the difference between Amazon giving a damn about you verses pushing your book to the bottom of the food chain.

gemnika

I didn’t know this!! Now I must review all the books!

juleskelleybooks

I think the magic number for reviews on Amazon is 50? At least it used to be. That’s the number where it starts showing up in “People also liked…” stuff.

supermodelcats

#mood #me after five hours of editing

supermodelcats

e-seal-deactivated20210319

Necromancer that doesn’t know they’re a necromancer and thinks they’re just a really good emt

raimagnolia

That is the funniest thing i have ever read

disabledprincesses

"Why do you only use the wheelchair/cane sometimes?"

The writers couldn't agree on exactly how much diversity they could stuff into my character and get away with so they just made some scenes with and some without.