Static Devotion

I am a familiarity - you will see yourself with fate too I am flawed in my core, and you will learn to distrust it as well I want to be acceptable, to you, to most everyone. This is mostly a vent blog, I have nobody to talk to and no one I believe would want to hear. So I exist in this small corner, as many do in their own, sharing to this void our emotions, thoughts, and situations eating away at us. I appreciate your time, even if you grow to wish me ill. If you do, or at least if you really dislike this flaw of mine, I want you to know I’ve tried a lot of things to get rid of it, cope with it, avoid it, heal it. It’s not easy for me, and with it being worse than it was, I feel I don’t have the right to befriend or love in fear of any tension I cause other people. —— I will confess my hidden and painful thoughts I’m ashamed to have, and actions I’m embarrassed to feel I must do. 𝐼 𝑤𝑖𝑠ℎ 𝐼 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑔𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 ＆𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑚𝑜𝑟𝑒 𝑇𝑜 𝑏𝑒 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤𝑛 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑏𝑟𝑖𝑛𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑖𝑡𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑡𝑦 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑜𝑓 𝑠𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑤ℎ𝑜’𝑠 𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑢𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑏𝑙𝑒

[echo-etchingz]

Don’t name me

Don’t label me

Don’t chase me

Don’t copy me

If I feel you, I won’t like you near me.

[fairtail-vision]

Behind

“I want to flip the switch.”

“What sort of switch do you mean?” I questioned, curiously gazing over the puffed cheeks sitting below soaked eyes. He smiles, then meets mine with his iced irises. I wait a few moments, his focus still on me, as if hoping for more. My eyebrows scrunch, my lips curl to an awkward half-smile, unsure, “uhm-“ and he touches my hand, telling me I only am feeling a sense of over-crowding anxiety.

“Sorry, I had to think how I wanted to say it,” Liam pulls his arm over his head, then rests his hand behind it-innocently. “You can say it anyway you’d like to, you could blurt it,” I reassure him.

“I fixed it temporarily now, but so I know too that you have nothing to really worry about, I was your other fate.”

“I’ll just show you.”

“Wha-” Liam yanked my shoulder without any warning, as if another version was behind me-my legs give out beneath and I drip into the floor before I could catch myself.

No.

The grass…I thought I was inside? “Liam? Hello?” I spoke slowly.

“Come on man you gotta open your eyes for this one,” he said with a sorted, though playful tone. I obeyed, before I heard the air around me chill and growl.

With a mended body, a monstrosity, I heard his voice, it must be Liam; held himself over me–changed, morphed, yet even smeared. A snout shoved through his mutt skull, ribs caved open as if another had a feast in him. His teeth sharper than the inside of a tin can; stood from his visible gums, aligned like a shark’s set.

And now I understand too, how you feel next and the reality of how it came to be.

Rocks settle in my limbs and I sense your guilt and sadness, you immediately tie the tangle between the implausible.

Immobilizing my lungs

I try to inhale but I could only wheeze, “What–what—what are,” I force words, choking by each attempt.

“You look different, too,” Liam speaks the same voice as before. He glides his right wing to the front of me, covering my entire view, “see?”

[skinnytrips]

A figurine appears, a reflection of my whole. I see myself… not the body I thrived in, but me, what I am, who I am; a different form of life structured, tall. A tree with roots grooved between an identical town to the one I grew up in. “But how can I talk like this,” I muttered with I think my twigs.

“This is our home,” Liam roars, two entire planets shiver the galaxy above these branches, swaying by the radiating waves vibrating throughout, what feels like, the entire world-as if he created them, “I hear everybody who can live here, just wait ’till you meet them all.”

“Who?” Liam steps forward with his hunched legs, “Our real family,” his barley visible lips curve to an odd smile, “who live in this Hanged Reality.”

“Do they live here by choice?” the question urged itself out before I could think.

“Just us. We learned how to, they will eventually, too,” he tilts one of his dog-like ears up, listening to the sky above. He steps back, with a shadowed voice, lower than I thought he could go, “There is bad here like it is out there, but in here, we control what happens.”

“What do you mean by ‘bad out there’?” I twirled.

“Well, everyone here exists with good reason, we share a similar fate, and we existed during times that people normally don’t need to experience. We can change what’s out there by working from in here, only if we connect with everyone that hides. We’ve been distributed,” he pauses, like he’s considering his sentences, “I met a girl here once, someone I never thought could live the life she had. Her father locked her inside a burning house, I watched it happen. I saw him lock the metal door frame with, I assume a lover. I helped her crawl out, so she could live.” through you.

“What happened after that?” a small branch of mine swipes to the road beside me.

“She moved here. That girl couldn’t stand the snow, so another one of us from the Hanged Reality, who knew how to survive in wilderness, took her place.”

“That’s-definitely new to hear,” I wonder if someone is borrowing my old body. Was it really mine to begin with? Or did I just use it for someone else…do I use other people’s bodies?

“You’ll meet everyone here soon, just like a handful of us have–you’re the overseer, you only can judge the right and the wrong. We needed you for a long time. Welcome back, my good brother.”

[fairtail-vision]

Thank you @echo-etchingz and everyone who got me to 5 reblogs!

[fairtail-vision]

Behind

“I want to flip the switch.”

“What sort of switch do you mean?” I questioned, curiously gazing over the puffed cheeks sitting below soaked eyes. He smiles, then meets mine with his iced irises. I wait a few moments, his focus still on me, as if hoping for more. My eyebrows scrunch, my lips curl to an awkward half-smile, unsure, “uhm-“ and he touches my hand, telling me I only am feeling a sense of over-crowding anxiety.

“Sorry, I had to think how I wanted to say it,” Liam pulls his arm over his head, then rests his hand behind it-innocently. “You can say it anyway you’d like to, you could blurt it,” I reassure him.

“I fixed it temporarily now, but so I know too that you have nothing to really worry about, I was your other fate.”

“I’ll just show you.”

“Wha-” Liam yanked my shoulder without any warning, as if another version was behind me-my legs give out beneath and I drip into the floor before I could catch myself.

No.

The grass…I thought I was inside? “Liam? Hello?” I spoke slowly.

“Come on man you gotta open your eyes for this one,” he said with a sorted, though playful tone. I obeyed, before I heard the air around me chill and growl.

With a mended body, a monstrosity, I heard his voice, it must be Liam; held himself over me–changed, morphed, yet even smeared. A snout shoved through his mutt skull, ribs caved open as if another had a feast in him. His teeth sharper than the inside of a tin can; stood from his visible gums, aligned like a shark’s set.

And now I understand too, how you feel next and the reality of how it came to be.

Rocks settle in my limbs and I sense your guilt and sadness, you immediately tie the tangle between the implausible.

Immobilizing my lungs

I try to inhale but I could only wheeze, “What–what—what are,” I force words, choking by each attempt.

“You look different, too,” Liam speaks the same voice as before. He glides his right wing to the front of me, covering my entire view, “see?”

[silver-kirsch]

Mum was pointing out my VERY OBVIOUS depression symptoms, like being tired all the time, isolation, not leaving my bed,.. etc and insistently asked me if anything was wrong, telling I never open up to anyone and kept accusing me of having done something horrible and was trying to hide it from her. I gave in and told her I was feeling depressed. She got angry at me, telling me that depression doesn't last for days, only a few hours at maximum and started guilt tripping me and saying I have nothing to be depressed about. She went on entire rant judging me for everything. I just told her to never ask me if anything is bothering me ever again. She always does this, get angry at me for not opening up and then if I do give in and tell her anything I am met with belittlement, anger and invalidation.

[fairtail-vision]

Bullshit liar

Bullshit list

[fairtail-vision]

[skinnytrips]

[c0keb0dyy]

currently going to cry

[fairtail-vision]

“They don’t exist and you can’t verify them anyway.”

[silver-kirsch]

Mum was pointing out my VERY OBVIOUS depression symptoms, like being tired all the time, isolation, not leaving my bed,.. etc and insistently asked me if anything was wrong, telling I never open up to anyone and kept accusing me of having done something horrible and was trying to hide it from her. I gave in and told her I was feeling depressed. She got angry at me, telling me that depression doesn't last for days, only a few hours at maximum and started guilt tripping me and saying I have nothing to be depressed about. She went on entire rant judging me for everything. I just told her to never ask me if anything is bothering me ever again. She always does this, get angry at me for not opening up and then if I do give in and tell her anything I am met with belittlement, anger and invalidation.

[missing-childhood]

I'm still me.

[only-cat-memes]

Your daily dose of cat memes

[fairtail-vision]

We fixed it or you bugged

[fairtail-vision]

Here’s an invite to my Community - Safety Substances:

[fairtail-vision]

I’m quite messed up in the head. Not in the, ‘oh I have homicidal thoughts sometimes’ but more ‘I will fight for my life to preserve myself but throw away everything to get someone to love me back’

Then I’ll go in a corner and pretend I don’t exist a while longer

[thebasedoneyeah]

people are so rude to me but as soon as I show mild signs of annoyance I’m the bad guy? and then they take that as an excuse to be even more rude :/

I honestly feel I'm a waste of oxygen , should've died in womb 🙏

[1anonyymous1]

[cardboard-box-spaceship-deactiv]

When you realise you are not the only one for them </3

[skinni-w4nnabe]

Today is such a shit day