Hello at last, all fans of the Fan! You may be wondering- say, didn’t you use to have a blog on the official Inanimate Insanity website? Ah, you see, the key phrase is “use to.” There were some, well, let’s call them creative differences, that basically amounted to MePhone not wanting the II page to be “bogged down by drawn-out, meandering fanfiction.” MePhone may think he won that battle, but look who has an exclusive interview with him on their OWN DOMAIN now!!! Here you guys go (I typed it from memory as soon as the inci-er, interview concluded, so it’s pretty accurate!)-
F: Hey MePhone, quick question, I noticed that whenever I try to load up the admin page to inanimateinsanity.com, I get redirected to a big red “x” with a fire animation behind it. Weird glitch, right?
M: It’s not a glitch.
F: Excuse me?
M: You’re a glitch.
F: I beg your pardon?
M: Okay Fan, real talk. You know I appreciate the enthusiasm, right?
F: You’ve made no indication of that whatsoever, no.
M: Listen, I’m trying to give you a compliment sandwich.
F: A what?
M: Y’know, when you want to criticize someone but you don’t want to seem rude, so you throw in two vague, meaningless nice things to cushion the blow?
F: Wow, sad as it is to admit, I’d sure kill for a compliment sandwich right about now.
M: Great! Your blogs suck. But thank you for making this easier for me. There, I did it! I made the sandwich!
F: S-suck? If by “suck” you mean that in order to write them I suck out my soul and transplant it into the page, then thanks! Of course I don’t really believe that’s what you meant, I just wanted to feel like I put a clever spin on words.
M: That’d certainly be a first!
F: Alright, NOW you’re just being rude.
M: You’re right, I’m sorry. We are friends, right?
F: Oh yes, because the nature of this conversation clearly indicates you value my companionship.
M: No really. I just- can I be honest here?
F: O- of course.
M: Alright. I just kind of have trouble verbalizing what I really want to say? So a lot of my thoughts just come out as these little attacks.
F: Oh?
M: Yeah… they’re just so second nature to me, I say them to fill in the gaps… otherwise I wouldn’t really know how to chime in.
F: You have no idea how much I can relate to that.
M: Right? Saying “You’re an idiot” is just a lot easier than saying “Hey, in the end of the day, I care about you, alright?”
F: Wow MePhone. I never knew there was this whole other side to you. I feel so much closer to you now.
M: You know what Fan, through this unlikely set of circumstances, I’ve come to feel the same way.
F: This actually makes me want to confess something myself.
M: Go ahead.
F: Well… honestly, before I had this egg, I don’t think I actually cared about… anybody. Everything I saw was just through a screen, y’know? That creates a big disconnect. But even then, it wasn’t until I, totally by chance, struck up a conversation with Test Tube, who could, in a manner far more articulate than I could ever personally compose, explain to me so much about the world that I had never realized I had any reason to get excited about (like I mean seriously- did you air the stuff about the moon phases? If not, let me know, ya gotta hear what she had to say)- it wasn’t until then… that I started to figure out HOW to care. I just really needed to admit that. Also I made up the second half of this interview.
And that was my little one-on-one with MePhone! Hope you all enjoyed, I certainly learned a lot! Until next time!
-Your Loyal Fan
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