I had some serious doubts and trust issues after being screwed over and lied to in the past. I made my mind straight not to love like that again. Probably because I had to learn the hard way. I think everyone has that one ex that changed them completely, and so I promised myself to become a bitch when I was being mistreated again.. But I always stumble upon the same things everytime because, with some reason, I'm always two steps ahead. Despite what those two steps are, whatever I come across, I'll never be a bitch. Because that's just not who I am.Â
I'm not a girl that speaks her doubting or angry mind, even when I should have. Simply because I like to live happy, care free. I like to not assume anything, but still knowing it's all good. I'd like to know what I mean to someone, ofcourse, because I'm sure he knows what he means to me. Especially in the situation we are in right now.Â
But still, I fell. I fell for love, the feeling I have when I'm with him, that no one could ever give me. The thought of it being meant to be, that we found eachother at the right time. Because we both were lost and we both were scared to trust love again. He made me grab all my insecurities, doubts, anger and fears back together. I was sure, whatever would come our way, I wanted to give it a try. Because I deserve it, he deserves - and he seems to be so different.
Whenever I'm alone with him, there's nothing to worry about. I'm appericiated for being there. We'll have our conversations, laugh like kids, hug like it's the last time we ever will and kiss with passion. There's just no place I'd rather be. He'll tell me he loves me and so many other things. Expecting he means every word he says to me. But some things that have been said and done make me wonder.. But still I won't always speak my mind that easily, I'm afraid to get hurt again.Â