Fake French

[fakefrench10]

He is my crush. Literary

Like Amy. Musically

[fakefrench10]

Vaccine

Daytime sleep is the worst. It’s not just that I sleep, I fall into the sleep. To wake up after I have to climb out of the sleep. I wake up so tired.

In my dream I am somewhere in nature but in a living room setting. Everything from stone. I see all the colors. Around me all types of people. I have a feeling I know a great deal about them. A kind of a useless knowledge though. Like knowing what is the temperature in every place on earth. They are all believers with different religions. They are so sure of their beliefs. They explain it in turns but they don’t fight with each other.

I am asked a single question: “what do you believe in”

All the believers are trying to help me giving me some examples and pointers. All of that doesn’t seem like it. A man sais again “there must be something you believe in”. I am annoyed and under pressure. In my head I think “universe” because I have the habit of saying that. But out loud I say “energy” and I justify “because we all know it exists, but we cannot explain it”. But then again I think “do I?”, “energy?”

Finally I say “No. You know what scratch that. It’s not energy either. I don’t believe in anything.”

That’s where I wake up. Absolutely exhausted as if I was trying to breathe from the wrong end of my lungs.

Finished “Threshold”. Coincidentally. Having looked for things to believe in and failing he says “I believe in everything”.

Exactly now that for once I skipped the vaccine, the flu got me.

[fakefrench10]

What I do

the worst is to copy. What I do the worst is to remember. What I do the worst is to quote. What I do the worst is to learn by heart. What I do the worst is to follow. What I do the worst is to get inspired. What I do the worst is read. What I do the worst is to wait. What I do the worst is to overthink. What I do the worst is to hurry.

What I do the best is to feel. What I do the best is run. What I do the best is to be alone. What I do the best is to feel alone.

[fakefrench10]

Growing up

On the 19th day of my 21 day vacation I was complaining to my dad about the day being cloudy. He says « well don’t worry about it. Just go to the balcony, point your finger at a blue part and move it in circles stirring the clouds away. « 

I was listening and smiling. Mesmerized. Says « But you know, don’t do it every day. That won’t be right «

I am growing up again.

Last month he helped me repair(on the phone) power sockets in my kitchen. They were not working since 2020. Waiting for September for him to take a look at my car and oven too.

[fakefrench10]

some are touchy some will fade and some will call

[fakefrench10]

said “ tout ce que tu veux, babe“. All I wanted was hand-pulled noodles at the beach.

[fakefrench10]

M13

I was the only one getting off. The tram driver tilted his head and was looking at me. I looked. He smiled. I smiled. He drove off. A good 22 seconds behind the schedule.

The light is always green for a tram. Everybody else waits for a tram to decide to move so that they move too.

[fakefrench10]

This not fun love. Being rid of it is as good as being sure of it. This full love. Always full. Want it or not. I can’t even flirt anymore. I am almost not a fixer anymore. One blossom and I swim in green. One drop missing and the ocean slips out of my face. One drop.

A long way to a little crying.

[fakefrench10]

Sunday routine

ö Je t’aime. I want you for myself

ü You have me

ö That‘s why I am happy… but you have to share me with five other women. What a pity

ü Five? Do I get the weekends?

ö Yes you can get the weekends.

ü Ça va alors.

[fakefrench10]

They say nobody is perfect. They don’t know what they are talking about.

[fakefrench10]

texted

Are you appointed or disappointed?

Took me a long time to realise that and as I’m still leaving Berghain at 9am on Monday it remains questionable if I really ever got the “look after yourself” memo.

Shape is what shape will be. We don’t define that.

[fakefrench10]

Macaron

ö Je vais te manger

ü Mais non, il faut savoir partager

ö OK, je vais prendre juste un petit morceau de l’épaule

ü Par contre moi je sais pas si je voudrais partager toi. De toute façon il n’y a pas assez pour partager. Je suis gentil, mais je partage pas mon macaron.

ü Tu veux être mon macaron?

ö Oui, mais pas à la fraise

[fakefrench10]

Woke up

At 4pm. Next’s thing sipping coffee and cigarettes in Berghain line. Next thing entering at the same time with Louie Vega.

Next thing, I meet the queen Johnny sequin dress and platforms. Says « nice socks « . White socks with a 10 on it.

Next thing 3 hours of Vega. No breaks. 1am.

Next thing looking at December 1st sky full of stars. The thinnest frost shining on my steps.

Next thing I see a fox crossing Torellstrasse. That’s where M lives. The fluffiest most beautiful fox.

Next thing the tram I wished for arrives to spare me walking the last stop.

The next thing I didn’t loose my sunglasses in S42 Ringbahn. I forgot them at the your-smile-was-your-pickup-line’s place.

[fakefrench10]

Professional

Teeth cleaning gone right, she had her tits on my head a few times, frau Zörner.

[fakefrench10]

The lady badass queen skinny jeans african princess said - Clearly there is no banana growing in this country. damnright

But look, we have all sorts of all fair trade bio politically correct palm oil and microplastic free recyclable dried fruit, if you are into reproduction.

[fakefrench10]

I am great, in moderation.

[fakefrench10]

I

don’t mind being fooled by an absolute beauty.