Real Paleontology

[jurassicsunsets]

thanks 4 reading

[fakepaleontology]

Fuck this asshole in particular.

[steel-kun]

Name a conspiracy theory superior in raw power to “there are no actual forests on Earth"

[dream-cassette]

imma need some context on that cause WHAT?

[steel-kun]

“forests” = minuscule form of what trees on Earth can be, basically saplings “mesas” = not landforms, but petrified ancient tree trunks IIRC the theory goes that all forests on Earth were destroyed ages ago and it takes them ridiculous times to regrow, with those giant mammoth redwood trees just being the oldest ones that have grown the most

[maxeth]

evidence 1:

[shattered-earth]

This conspiracy theory is absolutely wild and includes the assertion that all rocks are left over remnants of plants/trees from a “silicon era”. Although it’s obviously.. not true.. they really have some amazing photos that feed your imagination of a fantasy world, i’ve compiled their best:

do you think giant trees would have proportionally giant branhes or would they just be like furry green spears? LOL

[trisshawkeye]

I love how the implication is that the flat tops of mesas were caused by something equally enormous CUTTING THEM DOWN

[gncgalactus]

Paul Bunyan

[fakepaleontology]

Hi! Paleontolist here. I wrote my Ph.D thesis on this phenomenon and how it is real. My professor kicked me and punched me and shattered me like glass for daring to defy his brainwashed liberal status quo. This made me into the scientist I am today.

[fakepaleontology]

Did you know? The inability of cartilaginous fish's skeletons to fully fossilize is evidence of a loving and graceful God. Just looking at this cast of a modern stingray's skeleton is sending my eyes to hell; could you even imagine what other horrors lie behind us?

[fakepaleontology]

Did you know?

...

What the fuck is going on with that thing?

Wait.

Oh no. I should have heeded that old hag's warnings all those years ago!

[fakepaleontology]

Did you know? The first known pogchamp was a jawless, armored fish that lived in the seas of the Silurian almost 400 million years ago (left) . As you can see, the modern representatives of the clade (right) have diverged quite drastically from their ancestors!