[falconandwolf]

Bio is under construction, as am I.

I'm Rainer!

Dog and bird dad, photographer, falconer, and nerd.

Other interests: Animals, animal training and behavior, dinosaurs both modern and prehistoric, birding, being in nature, space, aquariums, baseball, video games, reading, poetry, maybe dipping my toes into writing again, history, learning new things to add to this list and obsess about.

I first made a Tumblr more years ago than I care to think about. It was a time when I had very little left to grasp onto in life, and even stepping out my door was more than I could handle most days. I had no friends, and through Tumblr I slowly relearned how to engage with and connect with people again in a way I had lost. I have been blessed to meet and know so many incredible people on here over the years I’ve had this blog. Some are lifelong friends, some are lost to time and missed but the memories and lessons learned have helped me grow and been a part of me becoming a version of myself I’m learning to be proud of.

I’m going to be using this blog to share things I find beautiful as well as glimpses into my life and eventually some of my photography. This will stay mostly SFW right now, but there might be some spicy writing/pictures/poetry that get reblogged depending on my mood, so NSFW warning.

I still love meeting new people, making new friends, and connecting. If I follow you or like your posts, it’s pretty likely I’d be happy to hear from you and get to know you if you want to reach out, but there are no expectations of course. I have a horrible habit of getting overwhelmed and dropping off the face of the earth for months at a time, so if we’ve spoken in the past and I disappeared, know you are always welcome to reach out again. That all said, please be patient with me and understand that sometimes I do need to shrink my social bubble for a time and focus on my life. I promise to reciprocate that patience and compassion.

DNI list: Minors, hateful people in general

Soft DNI list: If your intent is only sexual (sexting, sending pictures, or wanting to receive pictures) please leave me alone. No matter the content of your blog, I try to engage with everyone as a human being, so please give me that same courtesy. Consent matters for everyone!

[falconandwolf]

Your photos are so beautiful, you should really post more

Thank you so much!!! I haven’t been on here much the last few weeks, but I’ll start posting more again soon! This blog is my tentative first step in sharing my photography online, so the positivity is deeply appreciated 🥰

Here’s some flowers in the mean time!!

[haikkun]

What is an experience you’ve had in the last year that moved you deeply and/or inspired you to write?

Omg, Rainer, thank you deeply for coming to my rescue with a great ask! 😅

Honestly, @deusvacuus’s own writing and correspondence has inspired the most writing out of me this year. He’s a tumblr great who’s been publishing longer than I’ve been here and whose friendship has pulled me out of the mud of writer’s block numerous times before. A brilliant mind and soul whose intellectual questions always inspire some verse in me. Tumblr has always been a place where connection has amplified my art and I hope to foster much more of that this year, as the world deeply needs it!

An experience that moved me would have to be helping to organize and host a stage at one of the largest free music festivals in my state, which always thrums with a vibration of community, creativity, and magic. It recharges my battery for the whole rest of the year and getting to help facilitate it this year felt powerfully rewarding. PBS made a documentary about it and I got to watch so many of my dear friends showcased within it and feel proud of what my community has built, which is a place that loves ORIGINAL music and artistry. 🥹🥰

Same question back at you! @falconandwolf

[falconandwolf]

Apologies for the slow reply! I actually had an experience on the 1st of the year that was incredibly moving, and I hope is a sign of things to come in this new year. I've posted pictures of the river otter tracks I've been finding at a lake I love to visit, and I finally got to see their maker! OF COURSE I didn't have my camera with me, I was just planning on stopping to run the dogs and decided not to bring it like an absolute DOOFUS. At first I thought it was some driftwood sticking out of the ice, but no there was a big beautiful otter stretched out on the ice next to where a stream enters the lake. He let me get so close without showing much concern besides a few barks at me. I've spent years tracking them in a few different places, but only ever had two encounters before this and they were almost 4 years ago now. It's actually possible that this was the same otter I met back then, though probably not likely. I've been dreaming about stepping back into taking my photography more seriously this year and some nature/wildlife projects I'd like to begin, so starting off the year sharing some precious moments with an otter were deeply meaningful and moving for me.

Of course it could be a sign to never take my camera out with me because too often that’s when I have my coolest encounters 😭😂

Thank you for the question @haikkun I hope this is a magical and fulfilling year for you!

[maureen2musings]

Shasta Northern Lights

huntrex_

[falconandwolf]

You don't know me haha you can stop going mildly insane wondering, I ask everyone I find interesting the secret question and usually that's it. But your response was something else so I wanted to know more!

You are officially The Mysterious Stranger now in my head! Seriously though, I cried a bit writing those first two I truly appreciate your questions and curiosity. Know that you are always welcome here, at whatever level of anonymity and interaction you feel most comfortable with ☺️

[falconandwolf]

Really want to get more into astrophotography this year. I’ve only dipped my toes in it before but what an incredible universe to capture 🌌

[jetix]

2024-07-12

[falconandwolf]

Me looking at some more river otter tracks yesterday. I’ve only seen one once around here, but have been finding their tracks a ton the last few years. I think they’re mostly active at night, at least coming on land like this. Sometime I’ll have to write up the story of my one incredible otter encounter I had near this same spot.

[nubeculaetme]

Naejangsan | Karol Nienartowicz

[expressions-of-nature]

Mount Fuji, Japan by maruone

[nubeculaetme]

Bathe in sunlight at Kuntivaara Fell | Al Loo

[falconandwolf]

Soooo I'm enjoying your writing and here are three more asks.

1. What's a version of yourself you miss?

2. What's a song you feel was written about you

3. If you have one, who's your current crush?

Thank you, and I really appreciate your asks! Even if it's driving me mildly insane wondering if I know you or not haha! 1. I don't think there's a full version of myself that I miss, but I do miss the slightly oblivious confidence I had when I was younger. Something I've noticed in myself is how anxious and awkward I feel asking people questions, even if it's something I'm genuinely curious about. Some mix of not wanting to look stupid, my mind going blank when I go to ask the question, and then when I do ask questions worrying that it's coming across like an interrogation hahaha. All that overthinking used to never exist, and I do miss that. It's all a work in progress though, and I can see in my actions that I'm starting to build real confidence and learning to overcome that anxiety. So I try to remind myself to stop and notice that and be proud of that, rather than looking back and wishing I could go back to old versions of me. 2. Soda Pop by The Saja Boys 🫧💖✨

I JOKE! But you have discovered one of my biggest red flags! I'm sooo musically illiterate, and while I love music and used to play music often with friends, I feel like I don't seek it out as much as most people do. I also struggle to retain lyrics and song and band names. I'm not sure if that's a quirk of my brain or just a product of listening to less music than most people. Again, I do love and appreciate music I promise, it's just not as central to my world as it is for most people. So the real answer to your question is I'm sure there's a song out there that would make me feel that way, but I don't know it yet! 3. Sorry to be boring with this one, but I don't really have one right now. Unfortunately my life is pretty isolated and my work and lifestyle aren't very conducive to meeting people. One of many things for me to work on shifting in my life over this new year. Thank you again for the great asks! I appreciate the questions, and they've been great prompts for me to reflect on.

[falconandwolf]

Me reading that story: 🥰

Your writing is beautiful.

What's that one forbidden love, forbidden crush, girl (or guy) that got away? That special someone you wish you could be with

Thank you!! I've been self doubting the whole time since I hit post so I'm glad you enjoyed!

For better or worse I don't have a great answer to this one. At least no one that I still wish I could be with. I had an incredible friend/crush/obsession growing up from 4th grade through high school. She was cool and hot and I was not 😂 We drifted apart for a lot of high school when those things mattered, but she was one of the only people in my life to reach out and check on me when I was in a really bad place and we became closer again. We'd hang out pretty regularly and even after she went off to college we'd write loooong emails back and forth keeping in touch until she finally disappeared. We reconnected maybe five or six years later but drifted apart again. She comes to mind for me not because she's a lost forbidden love that I still yearn for, but because looking back I genuinely think she saved my life. Or at least played an important part in me remembering I had enough value to keep living when I wasn't sure I wanted to. She didn't do anything that crazy, there was no one moment or conversation that did it. Just her taking time to show me she cared, taking me out for walks or coffee dates and treating like a friend even though I felt like the biggest loser and I have no doubt she knew what a crush I had on her. For that kindness and patience she will always have a place in my heart.

There have definitely been other crushes, loves, even tumblr crushes lol since then that I think back on fondly, and some who I'd love to talk to again given the chance. But I wouldn't say that any of them "got away" or that I wish I could be with them now. I'm still trying get myself into a place where I can be the kind of partner I'd like to be, so hopefully that kind of love is still in my future. Without the getting away part hopefully haha!

[lindamarieansonsnaps]

[vangoghcore]

by rajasuokasper

[falconandwolf]

What's a secret you've never told anybody?

That's a tough one! I doubt this is the kind of answer you're looking for, but as I'm trying to think of an answer a story keeps coming to mind. I'm cheating because I told my mom this story but I'm pretty sure I've never shared this with anyone else.

Years ago I was working on an apple orchard in WA and I found a sick young american kestrel (a tiny falcon for the non bird nerds) on the ground. They are pretty common to see on farms, the owners often put nest boxes out for them because they hunt many small pests. Sadly young birds of prey and especially kestrels have very mortality rates their first year, so it's not uncommon either to find them dead or injured and sometimes they just "fail to thrive."

I don't think I knew what was wrong with this little guy, but he was not doing well. I was hoping I could get him to a wildlife center after my shift, so I put him in a box in a cool quiet place and gave him some water. When I got done with work that night, it was clear he was near the end. It was already past sunset and getting dark, so I brought him to the edge of the farm and found a huge beautiful sagebrush to sit under together. He was too weak to move by then and just laid in my hands as he passed and twilight faded into night. I cried so fucking hard holding that beautiful little bird, just open ugly sobbing. I didn't know him, I didn't have any connection to him, but I wept for this little incredible being whose life had been so short.

I wasn't even conscious of how dark it had gotten or how many hours I had been there holding him, but I could see his final breathes in the moonlight. The very instant he passed, a coyote started howling less than 20 yards from me in the dark. Then another, and another, and in seconds I was surrounded by the eerie beautiful yipping and howls of a whole group of them. I never saw one even though they were so close, but I could feel them all around me.

I don't know what it meant, if it meant anything, and I feel like too much is lost and reduced when we try to assign purpose to experiences that feel so profound. But is one of the few moments in my life that I felt connected to something "deeper" and is one of my most personal and sacred memories.

[enchantedferretry]

Snowball fight!