Sometimes you gotta yell into the void @fallbackwardsintothevoid - Tumblr Blog

I dont think I can properly explain how badly I want to leave and never speak to my dad's trump supporting ass ever again but literally cant because I'll never make enough money to afford a place on my own even working full time and working over 40 hours a week

#void.txt #i was hoping he had learned better #and i dont want to say it but hes a fucking idiot #and im so heartbroken finding out my own dad still supports the man who has been actively trying to strip me of my rights for the last #4 years #i honestly thought he was better than this but hes not and it fucking sucks

I've noticed that I only talk about my life when things are.... bad. I feel like it's telling that I don't know what to talk about when things are going well. I think I'm going to start trying to talk about one good thing a day, not just mention it, but actually talk about it for a bit.

#void.txt #idk man things have been good and for the most part i just focus on the negative #and i dont want to do that

me: hey can you please not do that it bugs me

one of my roommates: wow ur being so aggressive so now I'm going to get pissy and passive aggressive towards you

#void.txt #literally no matter how i word it or how i say something im aggressive to this one roommate of mine #and the other one always just brushes me off #its exhausting #constantly being labeled the asshole and having my concerns be completely ignored #even when its my stuff they're using if i tell them i dont want them using it for whatever reason instead of being like #sorry man #someone gets passive aggressive or i get ignored and my things continued to get used for whatever the fuck it is now #im tired man #im so tired of constantly being considered an asshole for saying no #or just for no reason in general #i try really hard to be a kind and understanding person #and when shit like this continuously happens it makes me want to revert back to being am actual asshole #i was a massive asshole at one point #but ive been trying constantly and really hard for oh idk 6+ years now to not be one

I'm gay and not sober at all and uuuuh wanna smash? also my crush is 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻and I'm down to get on that like I'd even be good with friends with benefits that boy is a snack

#void.txt #im high and drunk and i still thought to use my tag for my post #*posts #we're watching the visit andni keep laughing at it when i definitely shouldnt #and all i can really think about is how cute my crush is #also about how much i wanna tap that #like seriously that boy is just #fuck man #listen yall #i wanna suck his dick when im sober man

I haven't used this account in forever cause I've been doing well and don't really have anything to negatively vent about but in other news the dude I have a big gay crush on booped me today like actually poked me and went "boop" and then went 🤘 at me the other day and also almost tripped over nothing and barely caught himself because he wasn't paying attention

#the one with the really dark hair? oh oh hes adorable hes really cute #void.txt #hes also just really fucking cute #like really cute #i mentioned that i have a crush on him to a friend who works there with me (and him technically too)#and she was instantly like #and it was just like #sweet sweet validation #the last person i told who to be fair is lesbian was kinda just like ':/ mm really? that's your type? aight"#which 1) rude to him cause he's very very cute and attractive and 2) bls im confiding in you

pda makes me highly uncomfortable especially when it's out of the blue between ppl who usually rnt touchy feely and then on top of that everyone was being super fucking loud and had been talking about things which made it so I couldn't contribute to the conversation at all since I got home so for 5 gd hours I've just been sitting there awkwardly trying to contribute every now and then only to be brushed off and I'm just not doing great rn tbh im very very angry and was only partially joking when I was threatening violence cause I feel left out, ignored, uncomfortable, and overwhelmed all at once so that's cool that's how my night is going also I got off work I was expected to drive everyone around to a bunch of different stores which I refused to do cause I didn't even know we were going to different stores for groceries when we usually go to one it's starting to feel like I'm only needed cause I have a car and I'm one of two people with a job and they don't actually care if I'm around

#void.txt

I was gonna write a poem but honestly I'm too fucking tired at this point for that. It really hit me all of a sudden that I just, I need to let go completely. Put him out of my mind. Cause right now, I keep letting myself miss him and regret what I did even though it was absolutely the best course of action for my health. I understand what my daily card was about. It was talking about loss. I'm no longer even allowing myself to entertain the idea of us being friends in the future. If it happens, cool, if it doesn't, it doesn't matter. Hanging on to that idea, to that hope, it's just... making me sad. And angry. And all these unpleasant emotions, because it's definitely not happening any time soon if at all. I wasn't fine before I met him by any means, I was depressed and suicidal, but he didn't fix that. I did. I worked ridiculously hard to get where I am now. I'm not about to throw that away just to put everything into someone else.

#void.txt #i gotta let go man #and not just supress things #which is definitely what ive been doing #to start with #im going to get a god damn dresser and cut my hair #clean my room up sort through my clothes #just get shit in order

anna-grrrl

me, deleting old conversations with people I don't talk to anymore: feels good feels organic

#void.txt #taking out the trash yeet #that and just getting rid of blogs that have been abandoned or convos that were just dead #also having a crush on someone u work with sucks like i cant flirt with u #all i can do is gay panic #curse the fact that i apparently cant have more than one crush at once #cause the one dude from tinder was super cute #but i just didnt like him that way #when the guy from work is out there existing and being fucking perfect #he dressed up as sora for Halloween #and had a replica of my favorite keyblade from kh2 #i was dying the entire day #i hardcore gay panic whenever hes anywhere vaguely near me #im a useless gay akdhsk

I'm so fucking gay !!!! my Big Gay Crush™ at work dressed up as Sora from kingdom hearts and I've never been so attracted to someone in my god damn life

#void.txt #he had a professionally made costume #like im actually pretty sure it was a piece of cosplay #he also had two keyblades #and one was my favorite one from the 2nd game #he also just looked really good in the costume #like damn boy #ive gotta say it but #i would have been down for a lot of things #i am very into this boy #very very into him

I'm slowly learning to be kinder to myself. I deserve the same kindness I give to others. It hasn't been an easy journey and it's been slow going, but I'm already on my way to being a happier and healthier person. I won't allow anything to hold me back.

#void.txt #my health #physical and mental #is important too #and i need to give myself more care #i need to be softer with myself and give myself a break every now and then #my boss has called me out before on being the person whos hardest on me #and told me that i didnt have to be and u know what #shes right

today's going to be busy but it's gonna be good I can tell

#void.txt #ive gotten really negative lately #and i want to move back towards being positive more often

foggysuggestion

hey!!!!!! congrats!!!!! why??? you ask???? because you made it to today!!! even after everything !! i’m so proud of you!!

#positivity!

fairiencarnate-deactivated20260

Honestly shout out to people with anxiety and panic disorders, y'all don’t get enough recognition for your hard work. Pushing through your body’s instinct to fight/flee/freeze at the slightest worry is a whole new level of strength. You’re battling almost everyday against a fast-acting animalistic response that humans have been experiencing since the dawn of time, a response that is literally designed to take full control of your actions away from you. That takes so much courage and perseverance. You’re strong as fuck.

#positivity!

grunge-k

things are fine and I'll be okay! todays been good so far and I get to be a disaster gay at work and not know how to respond to cute boi existing in my general vicinity

#void.txt #i just #feel good #i felt bad this morning but uve managed to rationalize things #i am very tired tho #but im only work at for 2 hours

so I take back what I said before akdjskd he's very sweet and I may end up asking him out

#void.txt #i get very not worried when we're talking #i do still have a crush on alex but thats probably not going anywhere cause im a disaster gay #and mika is really cute and really sweet #we had a conversation about killing nazis so #👌👌👌

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Sometimes you gotta yell into the void