Azem, the Traveler Shepherd to the stars in the dark Most dangerous enemy of the currently living
AU Azem from FFXIV (heavily diverging from canon before the end of Shadowbringers) as written by Nay. See here for about and rules.
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@fallenshepherd
Azem, the Traveler Shepherd to the stars in the dark Most dangerous enemy of the currently living
AU Azem from FFXIV (heavily diverging from canon before the end of Shadowbringers) as written by Nay. See here for about and rules.
So, after some consideration I’ll be moving all my muses to the multimuse blog @aetherstories . From this point onward, all replies and threads will be answered from that blog.
I will not be resetting any storyline nor dropping any thread, and I’ll keep many of the asks I’m still answering.That said, new plots (even involving more than one of my muses at the same time) are always encouraged.
This message will be repeated and queued in all my blogs.
So, after some consideration I’ll be moving all my muses to the multimuse blog @aetherstories . From this point onward, all replies and threads will be answered from that blog.
I will not be resetting any storyline nor dropping any thread, and I’ll keep many of the asks I’m still answering.That said, new plots (even involving more than one of my muses at the same time) are always encouraged.
This message will be repeated and queued in all my blogs.
this ask meme is based on the blog gravesuggestion. i’ve divided it up into two categories ( light & dark ) based on the themes. some of these can be somewhat triggering seeing that the darker ones deal with a lot of death mentions. please be cautious before continuing on!!
L I G H T
‘ at night i dream of you. ’ ‘ don’t give up yet. you still have time to fix things. ’ ‘ falling in love with someone else is not a personal attack. ’ ‘ i am still so weak when it comes to you. ’ ‘ i can’t believe i let myself let you down. ’ ‘ i don’t care where we go when we die, as long as i’m with you. ’ ‘ i dream of saying to you all the words i held inside until it was too late. ’ ‘ i feel so warm & safe when you talk to me. maybe i could love you if you’d let me. ’ ‘ i finally let the right people in & i have never felt so loved. ’ ‘ i like the way your nails paint red stripes along my spine days after you’re gone. ’ ‘ i lived in your permafrost for twenty years & then you looked at me & i felt the warmth of spring. ’ ‘ i once wished you’d leave me alone, but i take it back. ’ ‘ i want to be able to love someone else, but you stretch your arms & spread your legs inside my heart so that there is no room for anyone or anything else. ’ ‘ i want to believe that we got it right this time. ’ ‘ i wonder how much longer i can cling to your light before it expires completely. ’ ‘ i would travel across the world to be by your side, because as long as you are with me, anywhere is a perfect place to me. ’ ‘ it took me awhile to realize it myself, but you are not what other people say you are. ’ ‘ it’s not that i really need you, but life would be pretty boring without you around. there’s no one i would rather be with. ’ ‘ i’d like to stay like this for awhile. ’ ‘ life & death don’t have to be so boring, let’s make both an adventure. ’ ‘ life imitates art, they say. i didn’t believe it until i started to notice the way your eyelashes look so much like tiny ink stroke. ’ ‘ live your life so that when you die, souls will come for miles just to hear your historic tales. ’ ‘ make your exes jealous & your past self proud. ’ ‘ maybe you’re what i needed to find in order to move on. ’ ‘ never get caught falling harder. they’ll never let you back up. ’ ‘ please don’t go. ’ ‘ some days it’s easier to just stop fighting it & succumb. ’ ‘ sometimes, you’ll find it hard to keep going, but you always will. ’ ‘ the desire i feel for you is that same itching, insidious hunger that an addict has for their addiction. ’ ‘ the worst thing about you is that you weren’t all bad. ’ ‘ there is absolutely nothing & no one who can stop me. ’ ‘ there is no route of losing you that is without pain. ’ ‘ there’s still room for adventure & there is no one i’d rather have by my side. ’ ‘ things didn’t turn out the way i planned, but i’m alright with that. ’ ‘ we could be really incredible together, you know? ’ ‘ you are beautiful & vibrant & confident. you are light & laughter incarnate & every fiber of your being screams freedom & joy. when i am with you, i am truly happy. ’ ‘ you are starlight incarnate, from the grand way you sway your hips to the wide mysterious way you think. blessed are any to be loved by you. ’ ‘ you are too afraid of the future to let go of a past that was never kind to you. ’ ‘ you call me yours & i have no idea what that even means to you. ’ ‘ you remind me of bubblegum & sweets; soft & pink & warm. you are strong in the gentlest way. you are so stubbornly kind. i wish i could be like that. ’ ‘ you still visit me while i sleep sometimes. your fingers trace my spine & i listen to you breathe. please stop haunting me. ’ ‘ ‘morbid curiosity’ is a wonderful way to describe how i feel about you. ’
D A R K
‘ a thousand empty bottles & fist fights will never return to us what we lost that day. ’ ‘ everyone else has moved on, but i am still here. ’ ‘ everything about you screams danger. ’ ‘ everything is worthless to you & you, in turn, became worthless. ’ ‘ for once in my life i want to be surrounded by people that i don’t feel like i need to impress. ’ ‘ freedom is really hard to get used to. ’ ‘ how could you do this to me? how fucking could you? ’ ‘ i am becoming everything we always dreamed of & i am leaving you behind. ’ ‘ i buried you so well that you might as well have died. ’ ‘ i can rest easy knowing that the person i love is dead & not the monster you became. ’ ‘ i can’t look at you. not now, not ever. ’ ‘ i don’t ask how you’ve been. what’s the point? you’d lie anyways. ’ ‘ i dream of hearing the words i so desperately needed to lay your memory to rest. ’ ‘ i haunted this house first. there is no room for you here. ’ ‘ i have a right to be upset. i loved them too, you know. ’ ‘ i just want it to end. i want it to all go away. i want to go away. ’ ‘ i may be a wolf in sheep’s clothing, but a snake hiding in the skin of a mouse is far more dangerous. ’ ‘ i saw your face today & didn’t feel anything. i am free. ’ ‘ i tried to save you, but you didn’t want to be saved. you just wanted someone to suffer with you. ’ ‘ it’s almost as if you were never here. ’ ‘ it’s unhealthy to do these things, you tell me. you say it’s time to stop smoking, time to stop gambling, & dammit, i f you don’t stop drinking it’ll kill you. i sure hope you’re right, darling. ’ ‘ i’m always pleasantly surprised by how easy it is to kill you in my mind ’ ‘ i’m not really scared to die. i’m more afraid that no one will miss me when i’m gone. ’ ‘ i’m not the person you left behind anymore. there’s no one here to miss. ’ ‘ i’ve been dead far longer than i’ve been alive. ’ ‘ i’ve eaten nothing but flower petals & ivy for weeks because i want to be beautiful inside like you. ’ ‘ i’ve never been completely satisfied. i most likely will still be unsatisfied long after my death. ’ ‘ no motive other than pleasure, my dear. ’ ‘ one day i’ll go or you will. either way, it will be as if i’m losing a piece of myself. ’ ‘ our dreams & promises decay along with you. ’ ‘ the leaves change, but nothing else does. ’ ‘ the only difference between avoiding & leaving is that now i’m not waiting up for you. ’ ‘ there is no such thing as a person who is required to love you. ’ ‘ there’s only so much that can be done to repair old damage. ’ ‘ things aren’t going as i hoped. maybe if i die, i can start over again? better luck next time. ’ ‘ this is not something to be proud of. this is a tragedy. ’ ‘ trying to get rid of me? oh honey, you’ll have to try much harder than that. ’ ‘ trying to get under my skin? you’re nothing more than a pesky itch. ’ ‘ unlike you, i can’t hide my identity when it becomes an inconvenience or a danger. ’ ‘ weeping is for gods & martyrs, we cannot afford such luxuries. ’ ‘ would you even miss me? ’ ‘ you are not important enough to earn an eternal place in my heart. ’ ‘ you complain nonstop about being unloved & alone, i can’t imagine what you’d be like if that were actually true. ’ ‘ you don’t know what it’s like. ’ ‘ you made this so fucking easy for me. ’ ‘ you should see me as a threat. i will tear down everything you know until there is nothing left of you. i am a walking threat. ’ ‘ you think i’m already gone, but i’m still fighting. ’ ‘ you think i’m dead, but i’m just dying. ’ ‘ you were never an addiction, you were a fucking disease. ’ ‘ you wouldn’t dare cross me. i am god & you are the soil beneath my feet. ’ ‘ your existence takes up so much more space in mine that we might as well be one entity. ’ ‘ your fingers are so cold & bruised, but you’re still slamming your fists again the barricade as if it makes a difference. ’ ‘ your hair is tied in a noose & your fingernails are razor blades, your lips are poison & i will gratefully kiss them. ’ ‘ your hatred has a body count & we will not forget. ’ ‘ your loss, not mine. ’ ‘ you’re a sick fuck. you know that? ’ ‘ you’re not gentle with me & i would never ask you to be. ’ ‘ you’ve trapped yourself so thoroughly in your own mind that it’s not even a rut anymore, it’s a pit. ’
Today’s mood is thinking about stinkzem’s transformation and how utterly and absolutely shy they are about transforming in front of people unless they absolutely have to.
“… I— still miss her.” ‘Twas a quiet night, one they deserved after all the fighting and saving the world, after managing to have his friend back in their ranks instead of the opposing path. And ‘twas a night where the two of them would share a drink, gaze upon the night sky and for once, a time which allows the Archon to speak to his heart’s content.
His gaze faced towards the moon - so full and bright as if ‘twas smiling upon them, easily drawing a smile upon his own features. “And I fear naught can change that.” Rare as it was for him to speak so openly, he has long since started to trust the one at his side more than he first thought possible.
It was not every day, not even now, that they could enjoy a quiet moment of rest, something as gentle and simple as a drink, as watching the stars and the moon. Something calm enough that Azem could ignore the memories in their very soul for some time, and simply be Astraeus, and enjoy their time with Urianger.
It was also a moment, it seemed, for serious conversation, for a topic that Azem had not breached because it was not theirs to breach. A time for trying to help a dear friend... or perhaps more than that.
They could not know how Urianger felt, for grief was different for everyone. But they did know loss, and mourning. It had guided them to cause harm, after all.
And so Astraeus closed their eyes, for a moment, then opened them and regarded Urianger softly.
"She was very important to you." They replied. "It is only natural, I think."
They had barely known Moenbryda, and how they wish it had been different.
"Would you... tell me about her?" They offered Urianger. "Our paths crossed far too briefly."
And if they could help him carry his grief, however little, they would.
‘ this ends right now! ’ // & uri… some sad, last encounter with stinkzem mayhaps?
They curse the day, as they draw their sword and summon their shield. They curse the sun and the moon, and they curse the path that has led them both to that point, as the Scions prepare their assault.
Still, Azem has eyes only for Urianger, for they feel the void of energy that can only be refined Auracite. And then he lifts it, and Azem knows the truth: the Scions are determined to end them.
Azem lowers their head, for but a moment. Then they breath in, and they speak.
"No, it does not."
They clench their teeth and the sigil of the Traveler, the symbol of their office, shines bright over their face, the color of freshly spilled blood. And then they shatter it.
Their wings appear in a flash of light, the first pair of them, and the other two are made of feathers as white as the moon over Coerthas. Their cloak billows behind them, a perfect reflection of the unsundered night sky, in perfect combination with the pale ivory armor covering Azem's body. Their sword's edge is pure, raw wind, and their shield is scribbled with promises, pristine white over silver.
Their eyes are covered, their hair is loose, and a second pair of hands cradle the void within their chest.
"Fools." They speak, and their voice is the echo of many. "This is not a battle you can win."
Want to ship? Feel free to tell me straight off!
Yes, shipping does need chemistry between the two muses, but if you look at my muse and think ‘You know what, I’d like to ship my muse with theirs!’, feel free to tell me, even before we start threads!
I love having a direction/goal to work the characters towards – when I write fiction on my own, I like having goals and plot points, like romances, family and friend relationships, rivals and enemies.. why wouldn’t I like having the same with RP? RP is just collaborative fiction writing!
There’s no shame in liking ships, or even RPing for ships. There’s tons of people in the world who love to read romance novels, and no one tries to tell them that’s wrong or worse than liking mysteries, or fantasy adventure. Neither preference is wrong, it’s just that – a preference!
So please – if you want to ship, or work towards of ship, in any capacity : romance, family, friends, rivals, and everything in between – TELL ME! I’d love to see what we can come up with together!
Have a smash/pass from Marven sfsgs
𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐃 " 𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐎𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐒 “ 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒. 𝐍𝐎 𝐋𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐃 . || Accepting
Azem tilts their head, the strange compulsion to tell the truth alone faintly bothersome.
"If he wants to, and if he invites me to dinner first, it does not necessarily need to be a pass." Comes the answer.
Smash or pash the elezen boy :)
𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐃 " 𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐎𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐒 “ 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒. 𝐍𝐎 𝐋𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐃 . || Accepting
Once, in long past times, Azem had accidentally transformed and then a close friend has witnessed them. Their expression, before they vanished in sheer embarrassment, was not unlike the one in their face now, the question posed.
"Smash." They whisper, in the faintest of voices. And then they try to cover it up with a cough.
𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐃 " 𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐎𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐒𝐒 “ 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒. 𝐍𝐎 𝐋𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐃 .
OoC: Some pics from my in-game house in FFXIV (Bonus Teu, as she’s my main)
I got a small house in Mist and I’ve been decorating, so here are some pics:
"Are you sure you're who you think you are?"
An armor-piercing question is posed || Always accepting
It is quite the question, and a very good one, and the Traveler ponders it even as he tried to distance themself from the tangle of complicated feelings the topic cause them.
They are not Astraeus, the Ancient. They are not Astraeus, the Warrior of Light, either, nor are they the hundreds of lives they have lived. But they are all of them, and all the unrest and desires ever broken by the unfairness of mortality.
They are their own soul, they tell themselves, bronze eyes regarding Lumianne with a calmness they do not feel.
"If I doubt my very self," they say, however, "what would I believe in?"
They shake their head, almost smiling, bitterly so.
"I am, however, not exactly who the world expects me to be."
There’s a sense of irritation as they speak and he doesn’t quite miss the tone used or the implications, even so, he supposes, ‘tis not entirely uncalled for despite their seemingly improving relationship, they had started off quite badly after all ( and that in itself is an understatement, Emet-Selch thinks ). No matter, he cares not for such details nor formalities, though there is a tug of a smirk threathening at the confidence displayed nonetheless. “Quite confident now, are we?” He mocks, but his tone does not carry the bite either.
And here he stands, still a comfortable distance away from the other - the trust is there, to an extent, despite himself and the initial reluctance to meet with the hunter now turned. A trust which isn’t uncalled for as Azem has shown significant progress from their first days as compared to the here and now, even with the help of Hythlodaeus, their growth is commendable, and he wishes to put it to good use ( there’s also the curiosity to see how much more Azem will grow and learn, how far their potential goes ).
At the inquiry however, Emet-Selch has a moment of hesitation - no matter how well and quickly they have adapted, they are yet to see all there is to see, to learn more of their kin and history and understanding what it is they do. Would they be ready to put on the mantle and lead? Golden gaze, intense, as they are, stare into bronze. He still sees the hunter, albeit different in appearance now, who has been tracking the elder for centuries past, yet he also sees more than that - one who posses far more than any he has turned and most importantly - they are the one who has the Scions trust; feeble it though may seem, ‘tis more than Hades has achieved.
“When was the last you hunted?” Hunting may not be quite the right term, as Emet-Selch’s subordinates do no such thing for sport - there’s always a reason behind their every move and action and it would be no different for the younger.
“Come. Hunt with me.” While it is no direct command ( an assertion of authority he rarely uses ), the request does not allow any refusal nonetheless, as the man turns away without much details. “Meet me at the northern woods at next twilight.” He shall judge them by himself, just how much the newborn has grown and whether they are ready for the task to come.
@fallenshepherd [ continued ]
Confident and even arrogant, both would well fit Azem’s words. It does not change that they are less of a boast and more of a statement. Even when considering that their latest and greatest act of arrogance had gotten them turned and under Emet-Selch’s service. Still, Azem knows their own skill, and knows the dangers of showing weakness even more. They will not, under any circumstance, appear any less than poised. Even before Emet-Selch.
Particularly before Emet-Selch. And so, they hold the elder vampire’s gaze, and do so with relative calm, until at last it is polite to look away first and into the rising dawn once more, before their attention returns to Emet-Selch.
Arrogance becomes Azem, but still a part of them knows they hold fear. Whether it is because the man before them is their vampiric sire, or because he bested them in battle as he did, he cannot wholly distinguish. Even with Hythlodaeus’ help, there was so much Azem didn’t know. So much they don’t know yet. And among those gaps in knowledge reigns the question of what Emet-Selch seeks of them now.
It is revealed soon enough, and Azem blinks at the question, before the request -an order, in a way- is posed.
“Forty-eight hours ago.” Is their answer, and there comes a nod afterwards.
They are trying their best to be civil, part bafflement and part promise to Hythlodaeus, who seems certain that Azem and their sire can someday see eye to eye, and it’s gratitude to him that has Azem actually try. As much as it disquiets them, sometimes, and particularly now: Azem is not particularly sure they want to know what hunting will entail for Emet-Selch.
It is, they tell themselves, better than not knowing. Even as they watch Emet-Selch leave, and exhale slowly. They will be at the woods at sunfall, as requested, wearing comfortable hiking clothes. The kind that will not make them seem out of place, and the ones that will be easy to clean blood off of later. Just in case. They have fought enough vampires and also been injured enough to always resort to that kind of clothing.
Still, even as they wait, as the sun sets, they wish they had fed even more recently. They have just started stretching it out, only feeding when they know they wouldn’t be at their best in a potential scuffle, and it is still much more spaced out than they could have expected for a newborn vampire, especially so soon after turning, relatively speaking. It shows how little they knew, and how used they were to dealing with fifth and sixth generation vampires.
It’s a chilling thought, despite how the cold doesn’t affect them anymore.
Send a rumor your muse heard about mine and they will confirm if it's true or not!
Enemies to "I found you while hurt and had to take care of you and in your vulnerable state I saw a side of you I've never seen before" to lovers
Scheming and subterfuge, Azem vs Astraeus:
Astraeus, as the mortal who was the Warrior of Light, is much more of a rather straightforward person. Faintly naive, particularly at first, but not overtly so, they are fond of speaking plainly. And even though they can read a room and be a bit underhanded when it’s strictly necessary, they are not comfortable engaging in subterfuge themselves.
Azem, as a young Ancient, used to be like that. Time and experience, and particularly politics in the Convocation trained them in subterfuge and in looking for double meanings, and offering them themself. They are much more calculative and crafty, and more willing to obscure the reasoning behind their actions.
The greatest difference between them is that the mortal Astraeus never had need of that skill set, and so never developed it, coming across as far more open and earnest, and willing to let others speak for them in diplomatic situations. The Warrior of Light was the shield for their friends, striving to be the ideal of a Paladin. Meanwhile, Azem, the Traveler, had to be a diplomat and adventurer both, and it shows.