stories that i can explain

"There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.” ― Maya Angelou Independent & selective multi canon muses roleplay blog. Written by Nat.

[oldginny-blog1]

goodbye.

For new beginnings.

It is 2018 and I am trying some self-improvement, business maneuvers and hopefully this will be the year that I feel like I am doing something with my life. For this to happen, however, I need to declutter and organize, so I’ve decided to let go of this blog. I’ve never gathered much interest of others to actually play with me/my portray of Ginny, but if anyone is interested, I would be more than willing to keep doing it on my multimuse.

Thank you for everything!

[falsememoir-blog1]

astoria

How is she supposed to talk about this? The burdens they carry are different enough that they’re not quite comparable; Hestia may have the name, but she doesn’t have the history or the Mark. Still, she has the name; it’s not something Astoria envies.

     “I had an Auror checking in on Tuesday. When I got pulled from History of Magic – it was to be questioned. Do you have any new information? Have you had any new contact with your former colleagues? Like we all worked in a shop together during the summer holidays, and we send each other post cards. I know they’ve got to do it, and I don’t blame them for it – but it throws me off every time. They go through my things, they read my mail… but, hey, at least I’m out here.”

     She doesn’t mention the shoulders knocking against her as she walks the halls, the number of times she’s tripped over a carefully placed foot when she stood to leave her table in the library. “It’ll pass. It always does. But it’s got me on edge. I’m sorry for that.” She’s filled with a sudden shame, as she realizes that her own discomfort has distracted her from theirs. “How have things been with you two? I can’t imagine it’s been easy, being back.”

“──Beats Azkaban.” Hestia adds as if it is relevant information. Azkaban was not the same, but the isolation was still capable of driving someone to madness. If she were a better person, she would visit the family she had there, and sometimes she wished she could bring herself to do it, but she wasn’t. She had managed to stay clear from that place regardless her name ─ she was certainly not going to walk there in her own free will. “I think amnesty was an illusion.” She ponders as she considers how they were treated. “We are never going to be considered equals.”

Her eyes drops back to the book. To Hestia, the only problem in being back was that she was not invisible anymore. Once she envied the attention that was drawn by the likes of Harry Potter and his crew (not that she could ever be in the center of attention), but now that several eyes were on her, she hated it. Flora got some hatred from the other houses, regardless of her not ever being involved in anything ─ Hestia made sure that the Carrows didn’t taint her sister too. That was the most disturbing part (and it made her almost miss the ability to curse them mid-hall just because of that). “──I don’t really care.” It wasn’t a complete lie, but it wasn’t fully the truth either. Hestia had mixed feelings. At times, she simply couldn’t care less; other times, she would get preoccupied. Her mind works no stop, even when she doesn’t want. “The main difference is that now instead of seeing past me, they look at me with disgust.” 

[boyiega]

Natalia Dyer for COVETEUR

[indielists]

do you have a harry potter character, oc, or verse ? if so, please reblog this post with your character(s) name in the tags, if you are an oc please specify that, and if you only have a verse be sure to specify that as well. please reblog once per blog.

                         reblog and tag appropriately and you will be added to this list.

[falsememoir-blog1]

I need some threads in here. Anyone interested? 

[falsememoir-blog1]

astoria

“Right.”

     Astoria hesitates, reaching back to twist her fingers in her hair. She doubts that Hestia is being particularly truthful, but she knows that arguing the point won’t get them anywhere. She’s low on allies, and she knows it. The world is not a friendly enough place to roam without friends. So she clears her throat and she swallows her pride and she banishes her constant fears, her constant awareness of the power imbalances all around her, and leans forward, curling her hand over the top of Hestia’s book.

     “It’s just – been a weird week. I’m sorry.” The apology is accompanied by a rueful twist of her lips. “I really am. I don’t mean to lash out. It’s just – well.” This isn’t the first time I’ve needed someone to save me and I’m running out of ways to be self-sufficient. “It’s been a long week. But you and Flora are godsends and I’d be lost without you and it’s not right of me to snap at you. I’m sorry.”

Hestia doesn’t mind that Astoria doesn’t seem particularly honest about the matter. She is used to sham, she herself not being very good with the truth. Her eyes feels back on her book, distracted by the reading, and she lets her mind run away until Astoria speaks again.

First, she watches Astoria’s hand and, then, she looks over her book. “That seems reaching── well, actually, Flora is.” Her sister is the one good thing about her and in her life. She knows that she has to do everything in her power to protect Flora, and she is doing. She would rather die than let anything happens to Flora, who would probably deny the idea of being godsend. “But that’s what family is for, right?” She had heard that more times than she would like and it always accompanied something bad ─ whether it was something she had to do or something done to her. She doesn’t mean like that, however. They could be just distant relative, but Astoria is a friend, or the closest thing she has of them. “Do you want to talk about it?” She isn’t sure if Astoria wants to share ─ she wouldn’t ─ but she offers either way.

[falsememoir-blog1]

flora

“Just a day.”

     No news, in their life, is better than good news. Flora catches her sister’s hand and wordlessly gestures for her to turn around, feeling along her bedside table for a brush before picking it up. “You’ll make more tangles than you get out if you do that. Let me.” ( But she waits until Hestia gives her permission before she does anything; they have grown almost painfully aware of limitations and boundaries, in ways they perhaps weren’t before. ) “You work too hard, Hes. You need to sleep. Get some rest. Take a vacation. The world will still need saving when you wake up.”

     She yawns, tired in her own way from struggles that are certainly less taxing. While Hestia trains towards a career, she simply seeks to fill the time; she’s done nothing more strenuous than sell coffee and breakfast in the mornings and books in the afternoon. It’s not a dream, but it’s a living, so at least there’s that. “How much more of this training do you have?”

Hestia doesn’t push it. It is better if her sister doesn’t have any news than bad news. She turns around and allows Flora to brush her hair. Although it is unlike her, she likes the intimacy, at least with her sister. It makes her feel more human. Rationally, Hestia knows she’s not a monster, but it’s hard to believe it sometimes. “It’s the job, Flo.” She replied, but it wasn’t true. Hestia had always been an overachiever. She studied too much, worked too hard, and didn’t rest enough. However, despite what her sister feels, it keeps her mind busy. She is not tired of the job itself, but everything that it entails. She just doesn’t know how to tell her sister anymore.

“One month or so.” She hums. Hestia is excited for it to be over. Maybe, when it’s all over, she will actually be a part of it. Her superiors are constantly watching over her and she can’t help it but feel singled out. They are all still wary about her and she knows, but she doesn’t say anything. “Do you think they kill who fails the exam?” There is a hint of a joke, but she is curious. No one apart from the unspeakables are supposed to know what happens there ─ she probably already knows too much. The corner of her lips curls upwards, almost smiling. She knows it is a silly idea. They are the good guys, they wouldn’t do something so crass.

[alphalewolf]

[lasshoe]

[briennesjaime]

Natalia Dyer photographed by Sam Ramirez for Rogue Magazine, 2017.

[falsememoir-blog1]

flora

She feels it like a blade slipped between her ribs; it’s written in Hestia’s face, etched in the set of her mouth and the exhaustion around her eyes, and it reads like a book to Flora. ( It’s always been like this: they can’t keep secrets from each other. ) “Hi.” It’s an imperfect greeting; things are not okay, things are not normal, and they carry the weight of their names with them wherever they go, no matter how they try to avoid it. “It was a day.” No need to get into details. “You seem tired. Have you been sleeping enough?”

“Just a day?” She repeated, questioning, but unfaltering tone in her voice. There was no doubt that it was harder to speak freely about their lives, because their story was more sour than sweet, but they never had problems being who they were ─ at least not to each other. Hestia slid her fingers on her wet dark hair, distractedly. She had never slept enough. Of course that when her sleepless nights were for books, not nightmares, there wasn’t the feeling of perpetual tiredness that afflicts Hestia. She shrugged off. “I think it is just the training── or maybe I just miss being tired by books, not people. Sounds like eight years of school was simply not enough.” She smiled, poorly, but it was still a smile, for one of the few people that could get a genuine smile out of her.

[myclaraty-deactivated20210809]

          That night, at the school, I felt utterly weak.           Like I needed someone to come and rescue me.           I hate that feeling!

                                            I want to feel powerful.

[falsememoir-blog1]

continued from here ( @opheliajumped )

Hestia rolled her eyes, pondering if it had been a mistake. However, she didn’t dwell much on it ─ it was useless for her. She sat back on the armchair, her back against one of the sides and legs over the other arm of it. “I don’t need you to pay me back,” her tone was deadpan as she stuck her nose back in the book, “but a little acknowledgement never killed anyone.” She finished throwing a glance over the edge of her book and then back to the words of Godelot.

[canarygifs]

One of the strongest people I have e v e r met

[falsememoir-blog1]

@fightingwcrds

Unspeakable training was hard, but harder than that it was the looks on people’s face at her. She couldn’t fault them ─ her name would always preceded anything she did. She always wanted, however, for Flora not to feel that. Everything she did was to protect her sister ─ and she would continue doing everything she had. Hestia was determined not to let it shake her down and not to let her sister see it (which she knew it was rarely impossible). "How’s your day?” Hestia asked, swinging her legs out of the bed.

[killingyves]

[daricx]

cfmusings:

                        i was born just a girl ; not a warrior.                     i was not meant for bloodstained hands.