SUMMARY: After a long time, Lo'ak finally decides to visit his brother's memory at the Tree of Souls. Little does he know that he won't be meeting just a memory.
Neteyam is finally free in Eywaās embrace, yet the absence of Loāak suffocates him more than ever. He had hoped in vain that his brother would visit him, that he could hear his voice just one last timeābut Loāak never came. However, when his baby bro finally does arrive, their reunion changes everything.
Pairing: Neteyam x Lo'ak
Pay attention to the warnings! If itās not your genre, DO NOT READ!!!
Genre: sibling !ncest, M/M 18+ NSFW! post-canon fix-it, hurt-comfort, mutual pinnin, smut with deep feelings
Special thanks for my dear @missnavigation, who is the perfect Neteyam kinnie and helped me a lot with the Neteyam-povs ^~^ Love ya ā”
I'm not really a fan of !ncest in real life, but these two little kittens have burned into my soul forever, and after atwow, I needed something to ease my pain. So... a little Neteyam x Lo'ak mutual pining hurt/comfort.
SUMMARY: After a long time, Lo'ak finally decides to visit his brother's memory at the Tree of Souls. Little does he know that he won't be meeting just a memory.
Neteyam is finally free in Eywaās embrace, yet the absence of Loāak suffocates him more than ever. He had hoped in vain that his brother would visit him, that he could hear his voice just one last timeābut Loāak never came. However, when his baby bro finally does arrive, their reunion changes everything.
Pairing: Neteyam x Lo'ak
Pay attention to the warnings! If itās not your genre, DO NOT READ!!! Genre: sibling !ncest, M/M 18+ NSFW! post-canon fix-it, hurt-comfort, mutual pinnin, smut with deep feelings
Lo'ak
Every single muscle in his body trembled and clenched as a wave of fierce sensations washed over him; his eyes went wide in shock, and his mouth hung open in a silent cry of ecstasy.
For what felt like the hundredth time, the thought flashed through his mind: what the hell was his brother, really? He was definitely not just an ordinary Naāvi. More like some kind of deity Eywa had sent to Pandora in mortal form, solely to destroy him.
Neteyam penetrated him with just one finger, but that alone was enough for his body to betray him. When he touched some secret, hidden point inside himāone Loāak himself hadnāt even known existedāhis back arched, his vision went white, and as he thrust his hips forward, a surge of pleasure exploded through his core.
He couldnāt compare it to anything he had experienced before. In the past, heād turned to his own hand more than a few times when frustration built up, but this⦠this was a completely different level of pleasure.
Loāak panted, his voice catching in his throat. His fingers dug into the long, silky blades of grass, gripping them tightly as if trying to anchor himself to reality. The world seemed to spin around him, colours blurring together, until nothing remained but Neteyam, who gazed at him with near reverence, his stare so deep and intense it was as though he had never seen anything as beautiful as him before.
For a long, breathless moment, Loāak could do nothing but tremble and twitch, his body shaken by the aftershocks of the intense orgasm. It was terrifying and exhilarating all at once; he felt alive, yet utterly vulnerable.
Then, as the initial shock began to fade, Loāak became sharply aware of what had just happened. He didnāt even fully understand it himself, and that uncertainty made his face flare hot with embarrassment.
He looked down at himself, fully expecting that he had surely made a mess of both himself and his brotherābut⦠he saw nothing. He was still hard, his intimate parts coated in some kind of clear fluid, but beyond that there was no sign that he had come. Huh? But he had definitely felt it!
Loāak swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry. He wanted to run, to hide from the intensity of what had just happened, and yet⦠he wanted to experience it again, to chase that height and the sense of completion this strange experience had promised him.
He looked up at Neteyam uncertainly through his lashes. He feared he would find some kind of triumphant superiority on his face, but there was no trace of it. His brother watched him gently, with open curiosity, as if Loāak were the only thing that mattered in the entire universe.
āWas it good?ā he asked cautiously, and Loāak felt like kicking him.
What kind of question was that?! Besides, he was certain that through the tsaheylu Neteyam must have felt at least some of it too.
āIt wasā¦ā he began, sounding both irritated and shy at the same time, struggling to find the words. āI never knewā¦ā In the end, he gave a tiny, barely noticeable nod.
Despite his hesitation and the lingering shock, there was a new hunger in Loāakās eyesāa desire to explore this new, sensational world Neteyam had opened up for him. He knew he should be ashamed, but the memory of that otherworldly pleasure still burned brightly in his mind.
His gaze searched his brotherās face, timid and pleading, desperately wanting to learn and experience every secret of his body and his desire.
Apparently, Neteyam was more than willing to help him with that exploration. His finger continued to work inside him slowly and gently, experimentally curling toward that spot that made Loāakās thigh muscles tense, gradually increasing the pressure until he started to whimper beneath him once more.
He was no longer in control of his own body, and even though he most wanted to sink into the ground from embarrassment, he found himself pushing his hips toward Neteyamās finger, murmuring his brotherās name in a daze.
He was getting close againāoh hell, he was sure that just a few more thrusts andā¦!
But then Neteyam slipped out of him, and the stretching sensation intensified as a second finger joined the first.
He heard his brother whispering sweet things in his mind while kissing him everywhere he could reach, including his painfully hard erection, to which he kept returning again and again. He fingered him slowly and gently, giving him time to adjust, even though Loāak wouldnāt have minded if heād split him open. He wanted itāwanted it so fucking badly that he nearly shouted at him to forget all of it and just fuck him, hard and wild, the same way he never hesitated on hunts before loosing an arrow.
Fine lines appeared on Neteyamās forehead, and the corner of his mouth curled upward.
āImpatient,ā he shook his head, his tail giving a playful flick behind him. āItās a bit bold to compare it to killing, expecting me to mount you while youāre still this tight.ā
Loāak was sure all the blood drained from his face. But noāhe wasnāt going to get embarrassed! Heād already gone through that a few times today, even before Neteyamās fingers had mapped out every place on him he himself had never explored.
āIf you can read my mind this well, then you should know what I want, IāI canāt take it anymore!ā
He carefully lifted his knee and distractedly pressed it against the nerve-tempting monster between Neteyamās legs. Oh fuck, how badly he wanted to feel it inside himāthick and hot, completely filled by himā¦
His brotherās lips pressed into a thin line as the sensation shot through him, while he struggled to pull himself together. A few of his braids fell forward over his shoulder, giving him a threatening air.
āOkay. You asked for it.ā
Oh. He might have fucked this up.
As a third finger slid ināfuck, all three of themāLoāak no longer had a voice left to protest or to urge him on.
He had no idea whether the pain of the stretch or the pleasure of the fullness was stronger, but both urged him to arch his spine and gasp for air as he pushed himself back against the friction.
It was starting to⦠hurt like hell.
But even then, he couldnāt stop.
āEasyā¦ā he heard his brotherās voice, but he had never been the obedient little brother.
āUgh⦠itās stretching! Neteyamā¦ā he complained, and to keep himself steady he grabbed onto his brotherās strong upper arm. Naturally, that didnāt stop him from pushing himself downward.
Neteyam let out a resigned sigh.
āSkxawng⦠do you trust me?ā
A pretty interesting question coming from someone who had half his hand up the otherās ass.
āLetās say I do,ā he whimpered.
āThen relaxāand donāt move!ā
Easy for you to say, he wanted to reply, but through their bond he could clearly feel the raw desire and the mind-shredding restraint radiating from his brother. Neteyam was careful to slide his hand in and out slowly, preparing him bit by bit, even as he was clearly suffering himself. Loāak trembled as he struggled for air, trying to reassure him that he was okay, that he didnāt need to worry anymore, that he was readyāso ready there were no words for itābut there was too much he would have had to say, and all he could manage was a soft moan.
Instead, he condensed everything into a single word, a single whisper.
āMa Teyamā¦ā
His brotherās hand froze, and he himself seemed to lock up as well. He stared at him in disbelief, his beautifully shaped lips forming a silent āahā. He pulled his hand out of him so suddenly that Loāak clenched around nothing, whimpering at the sensation heād been deprived of. Then all he felt was Neteyam on top of him, covering him with his broad chest, pressing him into the ground, trembling. The arm braced beside him, the stomach pressed against his own, the hand clasping his wrist and pinning it to the earth. Oh yesāfinally, finally he was showing mercy!
But⦠his face was strange. If he hadnāt thought it was madness, he would have believed he was about to cry. Ah, impossible! He never⦠or did he? He tried to find answers through their bond, but a fog settled over Neteyamās thoughts, and only a single phrase echoed there, again and again: Ma Teyam. Huh? He hadnāt been joking when heād said itābut he hadnāt thought thatā¦
āSay it againā his brother asked. His voice was deep and sensual, yet far too vulnerable.
āMāMa Teyamā¦ā he tried carefully, surprising himself with how much heart he put into it this time. He was probably blushing all the way to the tips of his ears.
And then he felt something big and thick pressing up from below. It was larger than he had expected based on its appearance, and even though he was already as loose as he could possibly be in his current state - damn, just an hour ago he had been sobbing for his dead brother at the bottom of the sea, and now this very person is taking his virginity! - he realized that Neteyam hadnāt exaggerated when he warned him that this wouldnāt be exactly painless.
Oh fuck, oh fuck!
Neteyam pressed his lips against his, swallowing his painful moans. With his free hand, he reached between them and stroked gently, trying to distract him. He felt as if he was grinding away at his own sanity, yet he moved slowly, cautiously, keeping his focus on him the entire timeāon his quivers, his whimpersāas he gradually pushed past the barrier.
The tsaheylu sent warm waves between them as their bodies connected, and when the thick crown pushed over the edge, they both moaned at the same time.
āMa Teyamā¦ā he whispered into his brotherās ear, and he wanted to stroke his back, but instead the sensations hit so intensely that his nails dug into the skin rather than caressing it.
āYou okay?ā Neteyam asked, his voice trembling as he still tried not to lose the last remnants of control.
āMore than okayā he sent through the tsaheylu, unable to speak. All he could do was hope that his brother was still paying attention.
Soon, his worried voice echoed in his mind:
āDoes it hurt a lot?ā
āNot really⦠just youāre⦠really big⦠oh damn!⦠Just keep going, ākay?ā
He pressed deeper and deeper, and his body received him with a painful yet yearning embrace, going ever further. Eventually, even his legs wrapped around his brotherās waist, pulling them even closer together.
He couldnāt even tell anymore which of them was making the more awkward noises.
Probably him, after his brotherās prayer-like whisper reached him.
āBaby bro⦠Loāak⦠Ma Loāakā¦ā
Neteyam was utterly lost in himself. What he felt was beyond words: the warmth of the love of his life enveloped him, they had become one, and nothing else matteredāhe simply surrendered to the deepest waves of desire. He was with him, inside him, on him. He spoke incoherently, clutching him as he claimed him inch by inch, as if he had been waiting his whole life for this. Oh⦠perhaps he really hadā¦?
āYouāve tormented me for so long⦠Ma TƬyawn⦠Ma Kalin-ahā¦ā
Perhaps the words affected him more than he expected, or perhaps he was hearing the echo of thoughts he had never dared revealābut Neteyamās words struck him straight in the heart. His body arched against him, as if to absorb him completely, and in response, Neteyam slipped fully inside, hitting that precise spot that sent electric jolts coursing through every fiber of his being.
Shame no longer mattered.
āThere! Oh Eywa, Neteyam, please, there! It feels so⦠ahh, so good!ā
He panted more and more desperately, his eyes closing, unable to keep them open any longer. āMa Teyam, please! Tsmukaāan⦠take me⦠I wanted to give this to you, only to you, always⦠only to you!ā
And Neteyam no longer held back. His braids whipped back and forth as he drove forward with wild, relentless thrusts, trying to maintain the angle that made Loāak see starsāand somehow he managed it. No matter how infuriating it could be that he always succeeds at everything, this time his younger brother whispered his gratitude silently, just for him.
He had expected that once they got this far, his brother would be wild and unpredictable, but the way Neteyam still held him with both arms, protective as always, filled him with such profound love that his eyes misted over.
Then Neteyam began to tremble more and more over him, his movements growing increasingly uncontrolled.
āIām sorry⦠oh Eywa, Loāak, I⦠Iām sorry, I canāt⦠hold backā¦ā he panted heavily. Loāak almost laughed at himāit was ridiculously endearing how he tried to persevere despite being so inexperienced and despite having waited so long for him.
āDonāt hold back,ā he begged, resting his head against the curve of his shoulder. āDo it⦠like this⦠like this⦠ahh yes, come⦠come inside me!ā
āIāā Neteyam began uncertainly, but he couldnāt finish, his body finally surrendering completely.
The feeling of his brother coming inside him was unlike anything he had ever known. He felt the warm rush spilling into him, the wild thrum as his body emptied completely down to the last drop, his movements in sharp contrast to how utterly still the rest of his body had become.
Neteyamās trembling, the desperate friction of his own body, and the heat coursing through him were more than enough to push Loāak over the edge as well. Finallyāoh, finallyāhe came, thick strands enveloping them both, likely leaving his brotherās back scratched raw in the process.
They lay like that for a long time, panting over each other, lazily caressing one another, while Neteyamās softened form still remained inside him. He didnāt want to let go. No, not yet⦠it couldnāt end. Not yetā¦
After the heat of desire finally subsided and their breathing returned to something resembling normal, Neteyam carefully slipped out of him, despite his silent protests, and rolled beside him in the grass. He was breathtakingāhis eyes still shining, a satisfied smile on his face, faint purple flush lingering on his ears. This⦠this was how it was meant to be. Damn it, why couldnāt it have been like this? Not here, not in this place, but at homeātheir home.
As the haze of passion lifted and the cold reality crept back in, Loāak pressed closer to his brother and, after a little fidgeting, clung to him. He tried to hold back, but the tears came. At first small, almost imperceptible sniffles, as if it were nothing, and then he could no longer hide them.
āWhatās wrong?ā Neteyam asked, though he surely already knew. The tsaheylu did not lie.
āI⦠I donāt want to let you go,ā he admitted desperately. āDonāt⦠you canāt leave me alone! No one else⦠no one could ever replace you out there!ā
He saw, felt his brotherās heart breaking for him, and no matter what he tried to say, he could not lie to him.
āIn whatever form, if thereās any way at all, Iāll come back to you,ā he promised, pulling him into a tight, reassuring embrace. So⦠certain of himself. How could he be so certain?! He held him just like they used to as children, whenever he was broken and in need of comfort. āWait for me, okay? Take care of yourself and the others until I can be there.ā
He knew one thing for sure: no one could possibly be better suited for this task than him. How could anyone ever fill his place?
āNeteyam⦠no⦠I⦠I canātā¦ā
Two strong arms closed around his waist, and a gentle kiss landed on his forehead.
āYouāre stronger than you think, skxawng!ā
At least someone still believed in him. Yet, it wasnāt that simple! How could he come back? The dead donāt return, and if they somehow did, they would never be the same.
But there was something in Neteyamās smile⦠something that made him believe this wouldnāt be their last moment together. True. After all, he was Neteyam! If anyone could return from Eywa, it would be him, without a doubt.
Thatāsomewhatāreassured him.
āYou know, it doesnāt matter how you come back, in what form,ā he said finally, frowning slightly, ābut if I could have a choice, Iād appreciate it if it wasnāt totally embarrassing to tell Mom and Dad later.ā
A small laugh brushed his hair, and his brotherās old, conspiratorial smile spread across his face.
āHmm. Maybe I could fulfill your childhood dream, and you could become Toruk Makto like Dad. You wouldnāt have to bring home some Naāvi girl to make a flashy entrance.ā
He couldnāt tell if he was joking, but the old instinct to hit him flared up again.
āThatās a terrible joke, bro!ā he rolled his eyes. āSure, knowing you, youād definitely be the most terrifying Toruk anyone had ever seen, and youād ruin my reputationābut forget it if you think⦠you can do this with me again! And well⦠it was good⦠soā¦ā
Neteyam just laughed, wholeheartedly, as if they were still kids on their old base, when everything had been fine. He wanted to lean in, wipe that ridiculous grin off his face, butā¦
Something was wrong.
He was choking.
Neteyam looked at him questioningly, then pure panic washed over his face.
āDonāt tell me you connected to the Tree of Souls in the water, skxawng! Damn, youāve been here for hours!ā
He saw his brotherās desperation as he quickly separated their kurus and tried to lift him, but his form began to dissipate slowly, as this placeāthe tarsyu flowers, their favorite treeā¦āall fell apart.
He rarely saw his brother cry, but in that moment, he clearly saw the tears rolling from half-closed eyes.
āWait for me, Loāak, okay? I love youāā he whispered weakly.
He wanted to say it too. He wanted to say goodbye too, but⦠darkness claimed him as his lungs finally gave in. With the last of his strength, he clutched onto something that held him, lifting him weightlessly toward the waterās surface.
Thank you so much for reading our very first Avatar fic all the way through! ^^
It might seem like a sad ending, but thereās no need to sniffle: Weāve already sketched out the continuation, which is shaping up to be a pretty long slow-burn fic. Fortunately, the third movie didnāt undo any of my original ideasāactually, it helped! The story will take place afterward, and Iām doing my best to keep all the canon events from The Fire and the Ashes, though Loāak will be a bit older. And Neteyam⦠well, I have a lot of exciting things planned for him, and since I discovered quite a few untapped possibilities with the Magkwan clan, I think itāll be really fun to explore that territory together with our little blueberries ;)
A small note after the chapters, before the continuation:
Thanks to Eywa ā and Payakan ā Lo'ak didnāt drown, but he was completely certain that he hadnāt just hallucinated the experience. True, he didnāt dare speak about it to anyone; he simply quietly missed his brother in the time that followed. After that, Neteyam appeared to Lo'ak only as a memory, just as we saw in the movie ā until the day when Neteyamās memory suddenly vanished from the tree of memories.
SUMMARY: After a long time, Lo'ak finally decides to visit his brother's memory at the Tree of Souls. Little does he know that he won't be meeting just a memory.
Neteyam is finally free in Eywaās embrace, yet the absence of Loāak suffocates him more than ever. He had hoped in vain that his brother would visit him, that he could hear his voice just one last timeābut Loāak never came. However, when his baby bro finally does arrive, their reunion changes everything.
Pairing: Neteyam x Lo'ak
Pay attention to the warnings! If itās not your genre, DO NOT READ!!! Genre: sibling !ncest, M/M 18+ NSFW! post-canon fix-it, hurt-comfort, mutual pinnin, smut with deep feelings
Neteyam
Although it had been his habit for years to playfully tease his little brother, Neteyam never intended for Loāak to genuinely feel ashamed. Seeing the (not so much smaller anymore) boyās shoulders tense as if his own thoughts had shackled him, his fingers nervously drumming on his thigh before clenching into fists, as if trying to gather courage ā it filled him with guilt. He recognized that gesture: Loāak always did this when something weighed too heavily on him, and Neteyam hated being the cause of his burdens.
He sensed that his brotherās thoughts had become scattered, so much so that even he couldnāt make sense of them anymore. But the questions "Where to?!" and "How?!" still echoed sharply between them.
It was hard not to smile, though he did feel a bit sorry for him.
This kind of vulnerability was unusual from him ā Loāak always seemed so confident, even when he wasnāt, but now⦠he was curious, expectant, and frightened all at once. Neteyam sighed softly and slid a little closer to him, moving slowly, cautiously, as though trying to tame a frightened wild animal.
"Would you like me to tell you?" he asked gently. The possibility lingered between them, giving Loāak the chance to refuse if he wanted.
His little brother looked up at him, pale as death.
"Eywa spare me from getting a lecture from you!"
The answer was somewhat disappointing, but also a relief. In his current state, he wouldnāt have had the strength to give a reassuring explanation, and although his head was foggy from a delayed orgasm, he would never, under any circumstances, force him.
Maybe it was a mistake to want more, he thought. He should have been content with what he could get, despite the fact that it was a miracle that this possibility had even been given to him at all.
Then, from somewhere, far away, Loāakās voice spoke beside him:
"Just⦠show me instead."
Neteyamās blood froze in his veins, then ignited like a blazing fire.
His brotherās words were quiet, almost inaudible, yet they echoed in his chest for a long time, to the rhythm of ancient drums, which might have been his own heartbeat. He could hear his own ragged breath, the pulsing of his heartbeat in his ears ā or perhaps it was Loāakās? It was hard to tell, as their senses mingled through tsaheylu.
After the last sentence, the silence between them vibrated strangely. Neteyam tried to understand how seriously Loāak meant it, but his brother wouldnāt meet his eyes, staring fixedly above his chest, his lips pressed together as if trying to take back his own words ā but in the end, he didnāt.
Neteyam raised his hand slowly, very slowly. He moved as though afraid Loāak would flinch, but when his thumb gently caressed the back of his brotherās hand, he didnāt pull away. He was still tense ā but he stayed still. With a defiant expression, perhaps a bit too determined, he watched.
Neteyam took a deep breath, trying to calm himself: he didnāt want Loāak to see how close he was to the edge, and he tried to steer his thoughts away from what he would most like to do with him immediately, without delay ā but he knew perfectly well that Loāak wasnāt ready yet, and he would sooner throw himself in front of a machine gun again than hurt him.
"Weāll only go as far as you want," he assured him, gently stroking the back of his hand with his thumb. Each touch sent electric jolts beneath his skin, and he strongly suspected the feeling was mutual.
Loāak let out a soft snort, but this time it wasnāt mocking ā more like he was trying to hide his own embarrassment.
"And what if I donāt know how far I want to go?"
Neteyam smiled. Not because it was funny ā but because it was so typically Loāak. His little brother had always lived this way: craving new experiences but being afraid of them at the same time. Always wanting to dive headfirst into the unknown, yet fearing he would disappoint someone again.
In reality, he was always far more talented and capable than his peers ā honestly, even more than him ā but his constant need to prove himself led to endless mistakes, followed by a spiral of self-criticism from which no one could pull him out.
He didnāt want him to worry about the usual habits now; not in front of him.
"Then weāll figure it out together."
Loāak finally looked at him.
There was something in his gaze ā not exactly fear, but not full determination either. It was more of a quiet anticipation, like someone standing at the edge of an unknown cliff, unsure if one more step would lead to death or the most wonderful experience of their life.
So Neteyam decided to take that step for him, and he gently placed his hand on the boyās cheek.
Loāakās skin was warm beneath his fingers, his chest rising and falling faster. Slowly, cautiously, Neteyam traced the elegant curve of his brotherās cheekbone, down to his neck, over the graceful slope of his shoulders, barely touching him, yet feeling the boy shiver. Not from fear ā it was something else, something that encouraged him to continue.
Anticipation? Excitement?
In any case, Loāakās wide-open eyes met his, as if searching for an answer: as if he couldnāt decide whether what they were doing was right or wrong ā yet he didnāt want to stop, not even for a moment. Instead, he leaned closer, his palms settled against Neteyamās back, his soft fingertips pressing into his skin as he embraced him.
With Loāak nestled between his legs, skin against skin, Neteyam felt his own patience being stretched to its limits, every nerve in his body urging him to finally act. Years of pent-up passion raged within him, an ancient instinct he had endured for longer than reason should allow ā warring against his resolve not to rush now that he was so close to him, even though the desire burning in his body was slowly consuming every remaining thought.
Patience. You are stronger than your instincts.
You canāt. Not yet⦠Damn it!
Eywa forgive his weakness, but he wanted him so badly! He had never wanted anything so much in his life. He wanted it, wanted it so much it almost hurt physically.
Just⦠a little longerā¦
Slowly, deliberately, he leaned forward.
Good.
His control proved perfect; every movement, every touch remained completely under his command. Mostly.
Then Neteyam felt Loāakās lips part beneath his, and his little brother moaned into their kiss ā and it was over. He was no longer capable of asking for permission or waiting for a response ā at least⦠not like this. He wanted to claim him, to intertwine with him, even if only their tongues pressed together. Even such a small expression of possession drove him wild; he couldnāt stop, no matter how the small, warning voice in his mind screamed that he was going too far.
Even if he was committing an ancient sin, he had never wanted so badly to break the rules. He explored every tiny inch of Loāakās mouth, kissed him until his lips were blood-red, sucked, nibbled on those tempting lips, traced the adorable, sharp fangs, and kept returning to the boyās sweet, uncertain tongue, which welcomed him despite all its doubts as if it had come home.
It seemed his brother felt the same ā his hand moved slowly, his fingers nervously curling around Neteyamās waist, as if afraid that if he let go, everything would vanish.
So⦠adorableā¦
He had to protect him, no matter what.
He couldnāt help but hug him tighter, gently caressing him, gradually lowering him beneath him until Loāak was completely laid out among the soft blades of grass. The dawn-colored light of the tarsyuk painted his face, reflecting charmingly in the glowing tanhƬ freckles on his forehead. He could have recalled their placement at any time, having marveled at them since his brotherās birth, watching the tiny changes. He knew which were the first, and which were the most recent. Come to think of it, their pattern resembled the blooming flowers around them.
It explained a few things.
He wanted to say something to praise him, to tell him how wonderful he was, to make him understand how lucky those were who could continue to admire him day after day, and that every single part of him ā even those he hated about himself ā was perfect in his eyes. But to his surprise, Loāak spoke first.
"Neteyamā¦"
Not "bro," not the mocking "hero warrior" or "golden child." Just Neteyam⦠If he had asked him now to destroy Pandora, he would have done it. His brother looked up at him in awe, his hand sliding up to his temple, gently tracing the patterns of his stripes. His eyes sparkled astonishingly, his pupils wide, and his voice trembled slightly: "Have you always⦠looked this good?"
Something impossibly hot spread through his chest, a wave that left him unsure whether to laugh, be stunned, or doubt his own hearing. His eyes narrowed suspiciously, and he only hoped he didnāt look as foolish on the outside as he felt inside. Loāak⦠had never complimented him since they were kids.
"Did you hit your head?" he asked with a confused smile. His face felt so⦠warm.
Loāak turned his head away, offended, but Neteyam was painfully aware that his grip on his back hadnāt loosened for even a second.
"Does it sound that unbelievable?"
⦠Yes?
"Itās just⦠I didnāt expect it."
Loāak huffed in frustration but didnāt move. He couldnāt have, really ā Neteyamās closeness enveloped him so completely, it was as if his very breath held his world together.
"Just forget it!" he grumbled finally, trying to turn away, but Neteyam didnāt let him. He was still smiling at him ā a genuine, slightly incredulous, but endlessly warm smile danced on his lips.
"Iād rather remember it. Forever, if possible," he said, his fingers lightly tracing Loāakās arm, up and down, lingering briefly at the crook of his elbow. "You havenāt said anything like that to me in a long time."
His brotherās eyes narrowed a bit, and for a moment, it seemed as though he wanted to respond, maybe even deny it, but in the end, only a deep sigh escaped his lips. Neteyam watched him ā the stunningly long, thick eyelashes, slightly damp and sticking together, the tiny, worried crease between his eyebrows, his fingers nervously fumbling at his shoulder blades as if searching for something to hold on to. He didnāt expect anything to change until he acted ā but then Loāak moved suddenly.
In one swift, unhesitating motion, he slid his hand to Neteyamās nape and pulled him closer. There was no subtlety, no warning ā and that was what made it so heartbreakingly true to who he remembered: his skxawng little brother, who always ended up letting his heart guide his actions, and who always made Neteyam be who he truly was.
He was surprised, but then the raw, pure passion his brother put into that kiss wiped away all other thoughts. This wasnāt like their previous, tentative attempts ā this had something demanding in it, something relentless. As if Loāak didnāt just want this, but needed it, and wouldnāt allow it to be delayed. The feeling that pulsed through their bond struck through him with such force that it made him dizzy.
Neteyam moved instinctively, one of his hands gliding down Loāakās side, his fingers lightly brushing against his ribs, all the way down to his waist before finally settling on his hip. As he leaned in deeper, he felt Loāakās lips part slightly beneath his, his breathing quickening. One of Loāakās legs lifted gently, pressing his thigh against Neteyamās hip, as if instinctively seeking contact, as if any distance between them was too much. They pressed against each other, hard, hot, demanding.
He couldnāt take it anymore.
āLo'akā¦ā His name was just a soft, barely audible whisper, a drawn-out sigh from his lips, as Neteyam tried to pull back a little, to calm himself, to buy just a little more time before he tore off all restraints and turned into something monstrous; but the boy held him back with his leg, leaving him no escape.
āI want itā¦ā Loāakās voice was barely more than a whisper, but Neteyam heard it. He heard it in every single cell of his body.
He didnāt know exactly what his brother meant, but whatever it was, he wanted to give it to him. Immediately, with his entire being. The desire that pulsed through their bond surged through his whole body, and surely, they both felt it, the yearning turning into a self-reinforcing cycle between them.
āWhat do you want?ā
A moment of hesitation, a few sharp, drawn breaths⦠Loāak looked just as lost as Neteyam felt. He barely heard the voice in his head a heartbeat before five fingers slid beneath his stomach, desperately wrapping around his hardness.
Fuck.
"You... to... p-put it in me."
ā¦
That was definitely not among his first ten guesses.
Almost ā but only almost ā he laughed, right before he remembered to be shocked by what he had heard. He had to swallow, but something got stuck in his throat.
"Do you even know�" he asked, eyes wide.
The response came with an irritated growl:
"Donāt look at me like Iām an idiot, as if thereās any other option!"
He quickly brushed his hand away from himself; it was hard enough to hold back as it was, especially with the touch mixed with that request, making a certain part of him unmistakably interested.
"Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to hold back?" he asked with a disbelieving smile. "Trust me, I want it too, but youāre not ready yet."
Neteyam felt Loāakās body tense in his arms. Whether it was his words or his own uncertainty ā he wasnāt sure. His little brother stared at him silently for a moment, then let out a frustrated sigh, rolling his eyes.
"You always do thisā¦" he muttered.
"Take care of you?"
"Youāre overprotective!" Loāakās eyes flashed, and as he looked at him again, there was that stubborn determination that always defined him. That fire that broke all rules, defied every command, and sometimes left even his family unable to follow his thoughts. "Every time I truly want something, you try to stop me because you think you know better what I need!"
Neteyamās heart pounded faster.
"I justā"
"I donāt want you to keep suffering!" Loāakās hands slid to his shoulders, his touch strong and firm, not hesitant or shy. "I donāt want you to protect me from this too!"
This kid, seriouslyā¦
"Itās going to hurt." Neteyamās voice was gentle, barely more than a whisper. Not a threat ā just a simple fact he couldnāt ignore.
Loāak didnāt waver for even a second.
"I wonāt die. And if I do, at least Iād be here with you!"
Neteyamās throat tightened. He knew he couldnāt win this argument ā though he didnāt really want to. The touches, the body of the person he loved most pressed against his, the taste of their kisses on his lips ā everything he had held back until now was now a reality. A reality he never thought he could possess, and Loāak was now offering himself to him.
His eyes slowly traced over the thin face, the determination, the desire, the uncertainty he still tried to hide.
Then he leaned down, gently resting his forehead against his brotherās.
"Alright. Letās do this. But give me a little time first, and try to relax, okay?"
Loāakās breath caught, but he didnāt back away ā he only nodded.
Then Neteyam began to move downward ā covering him in kisses, marking every tiny stripe and spot he passed over. He tasted the sensitive skin of Lo'ak's neck like a starving man, savoring the tiny gasps he earned in response, delighting in finding those spots that made his little brother shiver. If he hadnāt been so desperate, he would have lingered longer, discovering every secret point, but he was already past the point where he could allow himself that luxury.
Loāakās body was tense beneath him, his breathing quick and ragged, as if even he couldnāt decide whether excitement or anxiety was taking over. Neteyamās fingers glided down his hips, settled along his sides, as though trying to soothe him, but in reality, he was falling apart a little too.
His lips left wet, red marks on Lo'akās collarbone, his chest, his stomach. His tongue drew a small, sensual circle around his navel, and as he moved lower, he heard his brother sharply exhale, his flat, toned stomach tightening beneath his mouth.
"Youāre doing so well, just breathe," he whispered, settling between his brotherās knees, his hands gently gripping the soft thighs.
His movements were instinctive, his kisses trailing lower and lower. He knew Loāak needed him to help him unwind, to release that tense anxiety, and with every touch, every breath, that was exactly what he aimed to achieve.
He felt Loāak slowly surrendering to the sensation, his body relaxing beneath him, becoming more open ā and Neteyam knew exactly when the moment came to move forward.
He looked up at Lo'ak, as if trying to assure him without words that everything was okay, that he was here with him, that he would protect him ā even from himself. His brotherās face was unimaginably red, his lips slightly parted, his gaze hazy, his damp lashes clinging together ā at once vulnerable and demanding.
His entire existence seemed to exist just to make Neteyam lose himself in that wonder.
Neteyamās fingers slid along the inside of his thighs, gently, patiently, just enough for Loāak to feel his touch, but not enough yet. He heard the faint whimper that slipped from his brotherās lips, felt the way his hips moved instinctively, as if begging for more without a single word.
"Shhā¦" Neteyam whispered, pressing a kiss to Loāakās stomach before he leaned even lower. He moved deliberately slowly, letting the sensation envelop them completely, letting every nerve in Loāakās body eagerly await the next touch.
And when he finally did it ā when his lips softly touched the most sensitive spot, when his tongue traced the neglected, aching partās natural curve with a smooth, wet motion ā Loāakās body tensed.
A stifled gasp, a long sigh, and Neteyam knew he was exactly where he needed to be.
He chained down every screaming demand of his own body ā he wanted too much to feel every shiver, every tiny reaction from Loāak, and he needed to know that it was all for him ā that every moan, every twitch of muscle was the result of his touch. Loāakās fingers tangled in his hair, first hesitantly, then more firmly, and Neteyam smiled at the gesture.
Yes⦠thatās it, let go, baby bro!
Just shut up, please! ā the desperate voice echoed in his head.
Oh? So Loāak had tuned into the tsaheylu? That might⦠make things easier.
Or more awkward.
He decided that the only way to maintain his remaining dignity in Loāakās eyes was to banish all other thoughts from his mind ā most importantly, to block out the otherās thoughts. Only the sensation⦠oh. Hmmmā¦
The nature of tsaheylu was unique. He could sense the same raw waves he caused, though dulled for himself. He slowly marveled at his own self-control.
He continued tasting Loāak with dedication, unsure whether he was instinctively good at this despite his lack of prior practice, or if his little brother was just so adorably sensitive ā either way, the boy soon became a trembling mess under his mouth.
He was barely coherent, his palm clenching and releasing in Neteyamās hair, following the rhythm of his lips working on him.
"Nete⦠yam⦠yes, like that⦠oh, like that, moreā¦"
He was loud. He had always imagined he would be, but actually hearing it was more arousing than his most heated fantasies ā the ones he indulged in on those tough nights when he couldnāt hold back anymore.
He had always pictured it, but the real Loāak exceeded his fantasies, the way he swayed, helpless and lost in the pleasure, his head falling from one side to the other, his face flushed a deep purple like the rays of the setting sun, constantly moaning. His taste was addictive, so enticing and sweet, like a ripe fruit waiting to tempt him into sin, and the masculine, musky scent seeping from his skin grew stronger with every passing second, leaving him dizzy. There was nothing else in the world but his voice.
Oh, fuck⦠that name ā the way his little brother called him, perhaps for the first time since he was six, shot straight to his core, as if he wasnāt already at his limit.
Thanks to their bond, he began to experience the overwhelming pleasure flooding Lo'ak as if it were his own, mercilessly guiding him toward the same desperate craving. By now, he was practically starving for it ā to finally be inside him, to feel Lo'akās hot body tightening around him, to reach his peak together, clinging to each other in desperation.
His brother was close ā he could feel it. More and more liquid seeped into his mouth, slipping past his lips, making his chin and mouth messily, maddeningly wet, with the excess trickling down between Lo'akās thighs.
He had never seen anything so breathtaking, so utterly intoxicating.
Drowsily, he reached lower, his hand wrapping around his brotherās rock-hard shaft, and as he continued to pleasure him with the same rhythm, tracing every tempting vein, he lifted Lo'akās legs onto his shoulders and leaned down, his tongue venturing even further.
Not for a moment did he try to hide his intentions ā he wanted Lo'ak to know exactly what he was planning. Yet despite that, when his tongue first traced along the most untouched part of him, Lo'ak shuddered in startled surprise.
Everything is okay ā he assured through the tsaheylu, and once again he descended upon those utterly adorable creases that ā perhaps a sign of a twisted mind ā he had longed to taste and tease for what felt like an eternity, until they finally opened up to him.
As his hand continued to caress Lo'ak and his mouth followed the rhythm of his movements, the moment came sooner than he had expected.
With his brotherās dying whimpers ringing in his ears, he pressed forward with the index finger of his free hand, and without pausing, he carefully, gently curved it, slipping it through the tight ring of muscle.
Holy fuckin' Jesus ā perhaps that was the expression their father had once used. He had no idea who Jesus was, but their bond suddenly pulsed between them with such force that no Na'vi expression could describe it. Even without moving his finger, that single cautious, exploratory intrusion was enough for Lo'ak to arch beneath him, experiencing such an intense orgasm without actually reaching release that even Neteyam shuddered, caught in the waves of sensation surging through the tsaheylu.
SUMMARY: After a long time, Lo'ak finally decides to visit his brother's memory at the Tree of Souls. Little does he know that he won't be meeting just a memory.
Neteyam is finally free in Eywaās embrace, yet the absence of Loāak suffocates him more than ever. He had hoped in vain that his brother would visit him, that he could hear his voice just one last timeābut Loāak never came. However, when his baby bro finally does arrive, their reunion changes everything.
Pairing: Neteyam x Lo'ak
Pay attention to the warnings! If itās not your genre, DO NOT READ!!!
Genre: sibling !ncest, M/M 18+ NSFW! post-canon fix-it, hurt-comfort, mutual pinnin, smut with deep feelings
Loāak
He had always been convinced that his brotherās emotional range was about the same as a paāliās: silently doing his duty, following orders, and at most, getting frustrated if he didnāt get something right on the first try (just on the second).
However, he would never have assumed that Neteyam would willingly connect his neural queue with another Naāviālet alone anything elseāunless their parents had explicitly approved of that person as a suitable mate. Even if the girl looked more like a syaksyuk than a woman. That had always been a fact in his mind.
And yet, tsaheylu dragged him down into depths he never expected, hitting him with the crushing realization that, for his entire life, for as long as he could remember, he had completely misunderstood the person who had always been by his side.
Neteyam⦠saw him.
More precisely, he saw only him.
No, it wasnāt just that he saw himāevery fiber of his being was bound to Loāak, so desperately, so achingly, that Loāak had no choice but to start questioning the complexity of his own emotions.
Like an ocean, he was consumed by all the repressed emotions and restraint that had been buried inside Neteyam for what felt like an eternityāemotions that, without exception, revolved around him.
Seriously, he was starting to feel ashamed that he had never noticed any of this before. Even when glimpses of Neteyamās true self peeked through his perfect mask, he had never realized the truth; he had always just grown more annoyed, thinking his brother was messing with him, teasing him.
But to feel how deeply, how intensely he had always been loved... it twisted his stomach into knots.
Neteyam, meanwhile, was holding onto him as if he knew exactly what kind of turmoil he was going through and was determined not to give him a moment to be consumed by guilt. His hands were everywhere, clinging to him like a lifeline, desperate to touch him, to make up for all the times in the past when he hadnāt been able to. He was wild and passionate in a way Loāak had never seen beforeāso much so that it nearly drove him insane.
What the fuck, seriously?! Loāak had never felt so... wanted.
If Neteyam had ever lost control of himself like this in the past, he never would have stood a chance against this relentless siege on his sanity!
He was teetering on the edge of unconsciousness, overwhelmed by the flood of new sensationsāphysically and mentally alikeāyet he only felt more insatiable, more exhilarated. He wanted Neteyamās attention, the reverence in his eyes that was directed at him and only him. He wanted his thoughts, the ones that ached with longing for him. And he didnāt even understand why experiencing them was making him so damn excited.
There was hardly any untouched skin left on his body; Neteyam had covered nearly every inch of him with kisses. And though his entire being was now overly sensitive beneath the heat of the air and the friction of two insatiable handsāor was it that he was the one burning up?āa deep, searing emptiness formed inside him. A void he had no idea how to fill. The kisses only made him crave more, just like the increasingly⦠bewildering memories.
At first, he didnāt understand what he was seeing when a scene unfolded before him: a slightly younger version of himself, mouth open, drooling onto the floor as he slept curled up against Neteyam, while his brother watched him with quiet affection. Why was this here, among everything else, as if it was so important? But then he noticed that something⦠wasnāt right.
The Loāak in the memory mumbled something incoherent, a small smile tugging at his lips. Neteyam quickly turned onto his side, back facing him, as if he had been caught. But memory-Loāak didnāt wake up. Instead, he reached forward, his hand sliding clumsily up Neteyamās chest before grasping the firm muscle with a soft sigh.
Neteyam lay still, eyes open, not even daring to breathe as one hand fumbled against him. And when, by accident, it brushed over his nipple in the briefest of glancing touches, he had to bite his lip to keep from making a sound.
Then he felt itāand so did the present-day Loāak watching the memoryāsomething pressing against his back. Something warm and undeniably hard, just as he let out a contented sigh in his sleep.
No, this isnāt real, Neteyam thought frantically. And with him, the current Loāak, frozen in horror.
ā-teyamā¦ā
It was just a barely audible sigh, yet Neteyamās breath hitched sharply. This had to be a dream, he told himself. He wasnāt the type to have these kinds of dreams, but this had to be oneābecause Loāak would never, even in his unconscious state, think of him like thatā¦
His younger brother pressed closer, burying his face against his back, his hips beginning to move, grinding against him in an ancient rhythm, soft, desperate moans spilling from his lips.
Neteyam couldnāt breathe. His mouth parted, trembling. He tried to hold himself back. After all⦠his brother was just dreaming. It was natural at his age; he couldnāt help it.
And he⦠he was the older one. He should have controlled himself in this situationāhe had sworn to Eywa herself that he tried!
But the sensation of the most important person in his lifeāthe object of his deepest, most forbidden desiresārubbing against him was enough to send his own arousal skyrocketing.
He suffered for what felt like an eternityālong, agonizing minutes that stretched into hoursābefore finally, breaking past the last shreds of his dignity, his long, slender fingers slipped beneath his tewng, trembling as they wrapped around his own growing erection.
The heat of it burned his face, and though some part of him knew he should feel ashamed, the overwhelming experience of Loāakās desireācombined with the intoxicating pleasure surging from belowāset him on fire.
His legs trembled as he touched himself more and more desperately, matching the rhythm of Loāakās gentle movements against him. It was so⦠warm⦠both his brother and himself, their bare, sweaty skin sticking together. He used all his strength to avoid letting his tailās excited twitching brush against the other boyās stomach and risk waking him up. Left with no better idea, he curled it around Loāakās thighāunknowingly pulling him even closer.
He thought it couldnāt get any worse. But when Loāak, in his sleep, shifted closer and pressed a tiny kiss between his shoulder blades, he nearly lost it. He felt his own body react instantly, and the sensation was almost unbearable. His face flushed dark purple, and he could only pray to Eywa, to fate, to the entire universe that no one would wake up and see them in this impossible situation.
A few strands of hair fell into his clouded vision as a thought formed in his mind: Loāak⦠if they were alone, would he be willing to do this with him? No, of course not⦠but what if he would? He imagined them lying face to face, both of them touching themselvesāor perhaps each other? Their hands moving in the same sweet rhythm, their quiet gasps blending together, Loāak looking up at him with that adorable, soft purple flush, so close to the edge, just like he felt now. His precious oneāwhat sounds would he make, how would he struggle for breath while held in his arms, until his body arched against him and he lost himself completely?
At that moment, he felt his younger brother twitch slightly behind him, his tewng pressing damply against him as he rode out the last waves of pleasure. The mere sensation was enough to push him over the edge as well, completely covering his hand and stomach.
Though this wasnāt his first time, he had never experienced an orgasm this strong, this intense. It felt like a miracle that he managed to stifle a desperate cry as his very soul nearly left his body.
His vision was hazy as he turned toward his younger brother, gazing in awe at the peacefully sleeping, adorable face before him while struggling to catch his breath through his heaving chest.
"Youāll be the death of me," he whispered, brushing a stray braid from behind Loāakās ear that had come loose from the others.
The scene blurred, and a deep confusion washed over Loāak, nearly making him dizzy. Neteyamās thoughts receded, as if his brother had finally managedāthrough great difficultyāto push them away from Loāakās sight, making the present space and time sharpen into focus.
He was still straddling his brotherās lap, but Neteyam was no longer kissing him. He had gone still, his arms barely touching him, as though offering him the chance to push away without effort if he wanted to. His face was pale, with only two faint spots of color forming on either side of his nose. His ears drooped, and he looked so utterly pathetic that Loāak had never seen him like this before in his life.
"Iām so sorry," Neteyam said softly, his voice breaking. He looked so fragile, so vulnerable, that Loāakās own shame suddenly didnāt seem so important anymore. "You werenāt supposed to see that. I⦠I thought⦠I could control it."
He reached for their bonded queues, ready to sever the connection, but Loāakāfor reasons he himself didnāt understandāstopped his hand.
"Okay, that was pretty fucked up," he declared. "I think that was my fault, so donāt worry about it. Sure, Iām burning up with embarrassment now too, but like you said, we donāt have anything left to lose, right?"
"You know, I can see what you're thinking too. It horrified you."
"Hey, hey, heyāthereās not a Naāvi alive who wouldnāt be horrified seeing themselves in a⦠uh⦠wet dream, about their brotherā⦠ewwā¦"
At the "eww" part, Neteyam seemed to shrink even further into himself, and Loāak cursed his only talent: making already bad situations even worse. He had only one idea left to salvage this mess, even if it meant his dignity would be burned to the ground.
"I admit, it caught me off guard, but it didnāt bother me. In fact, what you were thinking about⦠well⦠I liked it too."
Weāre not dying of shame, not today! Maybe later.
"Huh? Really?" Neteyamās eyes glimmered with disbelief, every tiny golden speck within them lighting up on their own.
"Iām saying, I wouldnāt be against trying it. Preferably while weāre both awake. I donāt have much experience, so Iām not promising itāll be good, but why not?"
"Loāak⦠Weāre before Eywa."
Well, that certainly hadnāt stopped millions of years of Naāvi ancestors from rolling around at the base of the Tree of Souls right after their tsaheylu.
"Then I hope Eywa brought a snack. Besidesā" he lifted their intertwined queues "āweāre basically married now, so if she didnāt object before, she shouldnāt now."
Uh, shit. Had Neteyamās smile always been this devastatingly gorgeous?
Any attempt to salvage what little dignity he had leftāif he had any to begin withāevaporated as he crashed onto Neteyamās sweetly curved lips, like a man dying of thirst upon an oasis, while his brother pulled him in again, tight, until the undeniable proof of their desire pressed together through their tewngs.
The pleasant sensation shot down their spines, beggingāpleadingāto be repeated over and over again.
Neteyam was so... damn, hard, and the realization that he was the cause of it made him reckless. He only intended to shift forward slightly, just enough to relive the pleasant friction, but once he started, he couldnāt stop. Just like in that memoryāexcept now, a thousand times more embarrassingāhe found himself pressing against him.
Fuck, fuck... ! If they kept this up, he would coming to his shame without even being able to see the part of Neteyam that excited his imagination the most. He didn't dare look down between them and confront it, but he wanted to more than anything.
What could it be like? Neteyam didn't look down at himself in the memory, and the last time he had seen his brother naked was when he was about five years old, and since then... he had probably changed a lot. Could he be as perfect and unique as every other part of Neteyam?
Two hands fell above his knees and gently squeezed.
"If you're that curious, you can take a look," Neteyam murmured in a much deeper voice than usual. He held his gaze as his fingers slid upward, stopping just at the top of his thighs.
"What?! How did you know...?"
"I hear every thought of yours, crystal clear." His expression turned amused.
"HUUH, are you messing with me?! How is that even possible? I can feel your emotions, see images, but I don't hear anything!"
"I think the only explanation is that the more advanced one always takes control."
The obvious provocation almost drew out Lo'akās usual response, the one ready to burst with a snide remark, but then he remembered who was speaking: it was Neteyam, the one who had given his life for the idiot he was.
He swallowed and looked away.
"Hey, shut up! I just donāt have any experience with this yet."
The skilled hands untied his girdle in an instant, and he hissed as the free air suddenly caressed his heated, naked member. Neteyam looked into his eyes the whole time, but his hot hand moved ever closer to take his soul.
"Youāre the first for me, too."
Oh, okay. Something stirred his heart at this confession, and he had no idea why it made him so happy. Then, as a warm palm, not his own, enveloped him for the first time in his life, all thoughts vanished from his mind, leaving nothing but Neteyam's damn talented fingers as they began to move up and down with careful but decisive motions on his lenght.
It was so insanely good that he couldnāt hold back the pleading moans that spilled from his lungs one after the other. He weakened so much that he had to grip Neteyam's shoulder, his forehead pressing against his chest. He couldnāt even say where the thought came from, but the recently seen memory flickered in his mind, remembering how sensitive his brother was here. So before he thought too much about it, as an experiment, his lips brushed against the otherās skin, his warm breath gliding over the taut peak, and then his tongue made a single slow, pleasure-filled small circle around it.
All the muscles on Neteyamās abdomen tightened at once.
"Ahh, damn... Lo'ak..."
He didnāt hear his brother speak like this very often, but he definitely liked it. As he tried to hold back the urge to push forward into Neteyamās palm like a wild animal, he remembered what his brotherās exact fantasy had been, and he thought it was time to show him that he had always underestimated him.
āWait a bit,ā he sent through their connection, and despite his brotherās reluctant protests, he peeled his fingers off. It was hard not to groan in disappointed frustration as he lost the pleasurable friction, but he knew what he was about to do would be much betterāat least for his self-esteem.
He moved slowly down, tasting every beautiful mound of muscle. He had always watched his brother's body with envy, but seeing it through a different lens, knowing it was his own, feeling the taut lines under his own hands, hearing the sounds of his gasps in his ears as their souls connected, affected him in a way he had never known before.
Lower and lower, as Neteyam's trembling grew stronger, and when he reached the line of the tewng at his hips, his brother grabbed his hair.
"Don't," he gasped. "Don't..."
Just relax. You've always taken care of me, now just leave this to me.
As he tasted the sensitive skin, he couldn't help but glance to the side, at the imposing, sizable bulge beneath Neteyam's girdle.
To ease his embarrassment, as he began to undo the side strap, he couldn't help but remark through their connection:
It's unbelievable that you've been hiding this all this time.
Neteyam was completely beside himself, gasping for breath as his brother's unsteady fingers struggled to remove every obstacle that held even himself back from madness.
His thoughts only suggested one word in return:
Skxawng...
He almost felt like laughing, it was so much like him. So much like his brother, with whom he secretly loved to tease. And now he wanted to repay him for all the care he had showered him with since his birth.
With a sly smile, he pulled the small cloth off his lips as he stared into Neteyam's narrowed eyes - but then, when he finally saw what he had wanted to see all along, he nearly choked on his own saliva.
Holy. Fuck.
He had underestimated him. He had so damn underestimated him! The mere sight of him was enough to make his own even harder, and as every last drop of blood drained from his head, he couldn't help but stare at him.
Since childhood, he had always been driven by a kind of curiosity to taste things he shouldn't ā he even remembered how his parents panicked when he once ate an atokirina -
but never, ever had he felt such a strong, desperate desire to have something in his mouth.
Big, thick, and beautiful - he was sure he would never find anyone else even remotely attractive again.
Neteyam fidgeted awkwardly under his gaze. It seemed that on one hand, the waiting was driving him crazy, and on the other, perhaps he hoped his younger brother would change his mind ā otherwise, he was ready to be damned.
And Lo'ak decided he would no longer leave him in doubt.
After all, he's a grown man - or something like that. And he's just going to suck another grown man, who happens to be his brother - no big deal.
"Wait, you don't have to if you don't want to!" Neteyam said quickly, grabbing his younger brother's arm. Unspoken between them hovered the thought that maybe this was the last time he could stop himself.
But he didnāt back down.
"I want to."
"Then... if it's too much, don't be afraid to stop..."
Pfft. And once again, the overprotective older brother.
Do you always have to underestimate me?!
He had just wrapped his fingers around the base of it, and Neteyam's hand jerked to his mouth, as if it would hold back all the embarrassing sounds he couldn't control, but he wanted to hear them anyway, so he was determined to ruin him as much as possible, so much so that he couldn't control himself. For the first time in his life, he wanted to dominate him.
He had only run his hand along his entire length a few times, and Neteyam was immediately leaking.
Ahh. He says don't do it, when he's so desperate!
A little smugness warmed his smile, and he placed his other hand on his brother's thigh, forcing a way for himself. He moved his fingertips slowly as he leaned gently against him, taking a deep breath.
Neteyam's scent intoxicated him. He hadn't thought anything could turn him on so much, but it was good, it really was so damn tempting that he wanted to scream to himself.
He started with a small, soft kiss, then when he first licked the top of his head, he felt his brother's hips involuntarily thrust forward. Eywa, how long he had been waiting for this! He couldn't blame him.
He lazily pushed him back to the ground, mentally gathering every secret knowledge he had on the subject that Spider had shown him a few years ago, laughing amicably through an old digital book at the base - admittedly, it was mostly done by women for men, but he didn't see any reason why not.
He licked him slowly, trying to coordinate the rhythm with his hands. When he succeeded, he felt Neteyam completely fall apart beneath him.
"F-fuck..." he whispered in a throaty voice, leaning back a little so their eyes could connect. There was something intoxicating about it, connecting physically and mentally, while pushing the boundaries of his always exemplary, collected brother. He felt the time had come, and without breaking eye contact for a moment, he slowly took it into his mouth.
Two trembling hands sank into his hair
"Lo'ak... uhh.. damn..." .
He wanted to laugh to himself in joy that he finally had such a powerful hold on him, but he overrode the urge to be even better. Even more, even more unbearable.
He tried to avoid hurting him with his teeth, even if it meant having to uncomfortably open his jaw.
Neteyam had experienced greater pain because of him.
Still, looking at it from the outside seemed much easier than doing it. It was hot, twitching, throbbing, and he was finding it increasingly difficult to accept in. His brother's moans formed a melody more beautiful than the Omatikaya lullabies, and the deep pleasure on his face made it seem, from the outside, as if someone had just put him in his place.
Because of him. Only because of him.
This gave him strength, and he began to suck harder, eliciting guilty moans from him. He let it go deep again, his tongue swirling around the shaft, his fingers not moving from the base, only his other hand sliding up the flat abdominal wall, holding it down so that he couldn't move forward even at the height of pleasure.
"Ahhh... Lo'ak, yes... like this..."
He wanted to answer, but... finally, he could.
I love you, he said in his thoughts, and if he hadn't been sure he had passed, Neteyam's twitching proved it. Maybe he had answered, but he hadn't heard.
All the more so the increasingly unholy sounds, and he wanted more of them, as long as possible, prolonging the moment. He wanted to enjoy every little tremor that his bare mouth caused from him, the most heroic warrior he had ever known - but he felt that neither of them could hold out much longer, so he quickened the rhythm a little, and helped him with his hand.
More and more powerful thrusts, while from time to time he released it from his mouth, then took it even deeper. Neteyam was only moaning incomprehensibly under him, one hand gripping the grass beside him, the other in Lo'ak's hair, and he was no longer able to control himself, so that his hips wouldn't sway in an ancient rhythm.
Then the taste suddenly became even saltier, it throbbed even more forcefully, and her hips began to shake, but then, as if he had come to his senses, he suddenly sat up and pulled Lo'ak off him.
"Wait...wait, ahh, Lo'ak...wait!"
Scared, he pushed his brother's hand away, then clasped his own hand around his base, gasping for breath for a few moments until he could calm down somewhat.
"What is it?" Lo'ak asked in confusion. Did he mess something up? Did he hurt him?
"No, no, none of that," he replied. So he could still hear his thoughts. "Just...not like that. I..."
"What?"
"I want to be inside you," Neteyam growled. He looked as if he had just revealed his darkest secrets.
Lo'ak stared at him with a frown, his tail wagging behind him. Okaaay....
"Um, I don't want to be a party pooper, but how can you? You know, I'm not a girl," he rubbed the back of his head.
There was a long silence between them.
"Dad talked to you about these things, right?"
"Dad just said that once was enough for him, I can ask you. But I would have been trampled by a herd of AngtsƬ!"
"Baby bro. You know how two men do this, right?"
Huh. What???
Two men... can do more than that?
Maybe... he shouldn't have asked Spider back then.
SUMMARY: After a long time, Lo'ak finally decides to visit his brother's memory at the Tree of Souls. Little does he know that he won't be meeting just a memory.
Neteyam is finally free in Eywaās embrace, yet the absence of Loāak suffocates him more than ever. He had hoped in vain that his brother would visit him, that he could hear his voice just one last timeābut Loāak never came. However, when his baby bro finally does arrive, their reunion changes everything.
Pairing: Neteyam x Lo'ak
Pay attention to the warnings! If itās not your genre, DO NOT READ!!!
Genre: sibling !ncest, M/M 18+ NSFW! post-canon fix-it, hurt-comfort, mutual pinnin, smut with deep feelings
Neteyam
Words carried great weightāhe had always known that. That was why he always thought twice before speaking. But his little brother had a way of making him impulsive, even when he was alive.
He had feared that the secret in his heart would remain forever unspoken, locked away without ever passing his lips. But now that Loāak knewāand hadnāt reacted nearly as badly as he had expectedāa massive weight had been lifted from his shoulders, one he had carried for years.
How long had it been? He couldnāt even remember when the simple, innocent love between brothers had shifted into something else entirely. Something more forbidden, something far more consuming, burning inside him with a heat he could no longer control. When it came to Loāak, his body moved on its own, drawn to him instinctively. He would have followed him to the ends of the world, no matter the cost.
And his brotherāhe always went where his heart and thirst for adventure led him, often recklessly, straight into danger.
Neteyam understood why, even if it frustrated him. Loāak couldnāt help but seek proof that he was worthy of attention, of praiseārecognition he had never been given. And Neteyam, despite knowing this, had never been able to make up for their parentsā approval. He was⦠just a brother to him. Nothing more.
He loved every sky-high tree of the Hallelujah Mountains, the thick, humid air, the way the sunlight filtered through the canopy, coaxing the vibrant flowers to bloom. But none of it mattered as much as Loāakās presence. It was the only reason he could let go of his homeāespecially this place.
He could still see that day before his eyes, the memory burned sharp and indelible in his mindāwhen he had played here with his eight-year-old little brother.
Loāak had fashioned himself a crude headdress from fallen feathers, kneeling at the base of their tree, draped in a richly patterned syuve. His face was streaked with uneven, pale violet lines, reminiscent of how the future Tsahik was adorned in the old Omatikaya talesāthough Neteyam was fairly certain that, during an actual tƬrusey, a real Tsahikās markings would be⦠a little more deliberate than this.
The thought sent a strange tingling through his stomach, especially as he watched Loāak, wrapped in their motherās syuveāone that had been passed down in their family for generations. His laughter rang bright and full of life through the trees.
āIf Mom finds out you stole that, sheāll wring our necks,ā Neteyam sighed. It was more than likely that if they got caught, he wouldnāt escape punishment either.
His little brother, meanwhile, had just finished his masterpieceāa hideous feathered Oloāeyktan collar. Neteyam didnāt stop him from standing on his toes to drape it over his shoulders, but he still felt like they were doing something they shouldnāt.
āWeāll put it back before they come home, and theyāll never know,ā Loāak waved off his concern, admiring his handiwork with satisfaction. Then, suddenly, his expression darkened as he glanced around.
āSomeone should be singing the ritual songs. We shouldāve brought Kiri!ā
āOh, that wouldāve been funāwatching you two argue over who gets to be the Tsahik.ā
āPfft, she never wouldāve beaten me!ā
Loāak declared confidently. Neteyam smiled at the memoryāhis brotherās smug grin as he adjusted the feathered collar, the proudest accomplishment of his life so far.
Neither of them had ever actually witnessed such a ceremony, but Loāak seemed to have memorized everything their mother had told them the night before, trying to recreate it as best he couldāwith a few creative substitutions for the proper items.
Neteyam never forgot the stomach-churning taste of the āspirit-cleansingā drink, a concoction of mashed herbs and berries, which Loāak had forced down his throat after much pleading. He couldnāt taste anything for days afterward.
Still, the victorious smile that spread across Loāakās face after successfully making him drink it had somewhat made up for it. (Even if Neteyam had briefly considered what it would actually take for him to be genuinely mad at his idiot little brother.)
Loāak hadnāt quite grown into the role yetāhis performance was too childish, exaggeratedābut his enthusiasm, the bright sparkle in his eyes, the complete devotion with which he threw himself into the game⦠it enchanted Neteyam.
āWell, thereās just one thing left,ā Loāak announced decisively. Then, without warning, he grabbed Neteyamās hand. āTsaheylu!ā
Neteyam was so startled that he didnāt even have time to protest before Loāak was already reaching for his braid, his small, clumsy fingers trying to grasp the neural strands. The gesture was entirely childlikeānaĆÆve, playful, and yet so natural that, for a moment, Neteyamās heart skipped a beat.
āLoāak!ā He jerked back in shock, shoving his brotherās hand away. āDonāt do thatāTsaheylu isnāt a game!ā
āBut why not?ā Loāak blinked at him, confused. āMom said thatās how the Oloāeyktan and the Tsahik bond before Eywaāso they can feel each otherās hearts!ā
The thought was so innocent, so pure and earnest, that Neteyam had no idea how to respond. He just stared at Loāakāhis flushed cheeks, the streaks of paint smudged slightly across his face, the way he impatiently tapped his fingers against the crook of his elbow, waiting for an answer.
The wind stirred their braids, as if Eywa herself were watching them. But was she giving them her blessing? Or was it a warning?
āā¦Maybe one day,ā Neteyam murmured at last, a strange feeling curling in his stomach. He didnāt dare say more. He didnāt dare admit that even thenāeven back thenāsomething about Loāak made him feel a way he shouldnāt.
āWell, in that caseā¦ā Loāak muttered, narrowing his eyes in concentration. Before Neteyam could react, his little brother reached over his shoulder and tugged his braid forward, then grabbed the frozen Neteyamās one and simply draped them over each other.
Even though their tswins did not connectāonly rested against each other, hidden within their hairāthe intensity of the sensation surged through his entire body, weakening his knees, the tingling coiling deep in his stomach.
For the first time in his life, he felt something like thisāan unfamiliar, profound attachment that defied all reason.
He knew he shouldnāt be so affected by the sight of their hair entwined. He shouldnāt have felt anything at all. But feelings never asked for permission.
They were simply there, lurking irrevocably beneath his skin. Haunting him on sleepless nights as he lay beside Loāak on their sleeping mat, when no one was watching, and he inched closerācovering him, warming him, running soothing fingers over his arm when he had bad dreams, shielding him from everything and everyone.
At first, it had been mere childish devotion. But as the years passed⦠as he grew older, it became harder and harder to explain to himself.
Like when Loāak, exhausted from a long hunt, lazily rested his head on his shoulder, mumbling sleepilyāprobably his usual complaintsābut Neteyam had to summon all his strength not to touch him.
Or when his little brother stormed ahead of him after an argument, tail lashing with frustration, and Neteyam couldnāt not notice how beautiful he looked like thatāflushed with raw emotion.
Then, the stolen touches became more frequentājust as the heat in his body flared every time Loāak wandered too close. Sometimes, it was a near thing, maintaining control and not doing something irreversibly foolish.
Like when Loāakās legs draped over him in his sleep, curling into his chest, his tail wrapping around his thighs, and Neteyam felt like he was going to lose his mindāhis fingers clenching so tightly into the mat that his knuckles turned white.
Year after year, the torment only grew stronger until his resolve solidified: If he was ever chosen as Oloāeyktan, he wanted no mate but him. No matter what was expected of him, he would never be able to bond with anyone else.
And now, here sat Loāak, fully grown, beside himātheir hands entwined between them. Even Neteyam himself marveled at how naturally four fingers laced together with five.
From the look in his eyes, Loāak might have been thinking the exact same thing. His eyes shone, perhaps even brighter than his tanhƬs, like stars in the night sky, making the curve of his forehead all the more striking.
He regarded their fingers with that same childlike confusion he always hadāever since he first realized he had one more than his brother. And in the midst of his endless self-reproach, he bit his lip in hesitation.
āNeteyamā¦ā Loāak began cautiously, uncertainty lacing his voice. His head dipped slightly, as if he couldnāt bear to meet his gaze.
Oh, Eywa, how he loved hearing his name from his lipsāespecially in that soft, bashful tone.
Neteyam wanted to memorize everything about this momentāhow Loāak ran his fingers through his own hair as if trying to summon courage, how he parted his lips to speak but seemed to think better of it, shutting them just as quickly.
"What is it, baby bro?" he asked with a laugh, trying to ease the tension. "You look like you're about to drown in your own thoughts. Don't think so hardājust spit it out!"
"I'm just⦠curious about something," Lo'ak huffed, like an agitated young palulukan. His nails curled reflexively, digging into the back of Neteyamās handāthen, realizing how sharply he had overreacted, a faint purple flush spread across his cheeks, and his ears flattened.
Under his brotherās curious gaze, he grew paler, as if struggling to gather his resolve.
"In the end⦠you didnāt do it with anyone else, did you?"
For a moment, Neteyam didnāt quite understand what he meant, and his thoughts strayed to dangerous places.
No. Loāak definitely wasnāt implying that.
"Do what?"
"The⦠Tsaheylu."
...
Oh.
His breath caught, and for a moment, he had no words.
They werenāt children anymore, and this question was far more intimate than if Loāak had simply asked if he had lain with someone beforeāhe might have recovered from that easier.
But of course, his little brother had never cared for things as simple as respect and propriety.
"You never gave me a free moment when I wasnāt busy with saving your ass," he finally sighed, exasperated. "When would I have? With who?"
"Are you seriously blaming me for that?" Lo'ak scoffed. "You had plenty of chancesāany Omaticaya girl wouldāve had you. Probably most of the Metkayina, too."
"As if I ever wanted any of them!"
There it was. Another fight, just like when they were reckless kids, wasting time.
And who knew how much of that they even had left?
Neteyam was about to say something to break the tension when Loāakās next words reached him.
"And me?"
It was barely a whisper, as if speaking the words aloud might change everything.
Him, the eternal rebelāthe one who had never feared anything.
"If you really⦠love me, we could have done it."
The question struck his chest like an arrow. It was as if all the air had been ripped from his lungs, as if Eywa herself had stopped time for one fleeting moment, just long enough for Loāakās words to pierce the deepest, most guarded part of him.
Loāakās question shook him.
Neteyam could no longer hear the wind rustling through the treesāonly the sound of Loāakās breath, his heartbeat pounding too close to his own.
This was a trap. A beautiful, tempting trap, one he could fall into with a single careless stepānever to return.
The answer pulsed within him.
Yes.
He had always wanted him.
Loāak had always been the only one he had ever thought of, the only one he had ever longed for with every nerve in his body, the only one no one else could ever compare to.
But it couldnāt be.
The bitter truth sat heavy on his tongue.
"Loāakā¦" His name fell from Neteyamās lips like something fragile, something that hurt to say. And maybe it did.
"We⦠we canāt."
His brother frowned in confusion.
"Why not? Weāre not kids anymore, and we donāt have time to keep waiting for someday!"
There was a tremor in his voice, deep beneath his frustration.
Neteyamās lips partedāthen closed again.
He wanted to tell him.
Wanted to explain that Loāak didnāt understand what he was asking.
Tsaheylu wasnāt just a gesture, not just a kiss or an embrace; that if they did this, he would likely never be able to bond with anyone else ever again.
And Neteyam was already gone.
No matter that he had been given this one moment to say goodbyeāhe was only a memory. Nothing more. No longer a part of this world.
"You still have an entire life ahead of you," he said finally. Pain seeped into his gaze, and the words left bitterness on his tongue. "You would bind yourself to me forever, and I⦠Iām not here, Loāak. I canāt be with you."
Loāakās lips pressed into a tight line.
For a moment, he closed his eyesāthen opened them again, and Neteyam couldnāt not notice the way his irises shimmered, as if he were barely holding back tears.
"And you thinkā¦" he asked, voice hollow, "I would ever want anyone else?"
Neteyam froze.
"If you're the only one Iāll ever be able to connect with... thatās more than enough for me!"
The boy grabbed his shoulders roughly, clinging to him as if he were a lifeline.
"Thatās all Iāve EVER truly wanted, so youād better fucking find a way to drag your dumb ass back to me, I donāt care how, you hear me?! NO EXCUSES, Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan, if anyone can do it, itās definitely you!!"
Loāakās tail lashed irritably behind him, and he probably didnāt even notice how, in his intense emotions, he had climbed over Neteyamās legs and curled up in his lap. The sight of his stormy, furrowed brows struck like a lightning bolt, and even the sounds of the rainforest seemed to quiet around them, as if Eywa herself were holding her breath.
The question hovered in the air, fragile yet burning, like a freshly bloomed loreyu flower in the morning dew.
Neteyamās fingers tightened over Loāakās hand, his touch searing, feverish. He stared into his brotherās eyes, then at those well-shaped, faintly violet lipsāthe ones he had spent so many nights staring at while Loāak slept peacefully beside him, oblivious to the maddening, sinful thoughts that tormented him.
Neteyamās heart pounded in his throat. As his brother trembled above him, as if regretting the question, as if he wanted to take back his words, Neteyam already knewāhe couldnāt let him go. He couldnāt let this moment slip away.
Slowly, with almost sacrilegious reverence, he lifted Loāakās hand and brought it to his lips. His kiss brushed over each finger, one after another, returning again and again to the one Loāak despised most about himself. His name slipped from Neteyamās lips like a sigh as he continued his silent devotion, and this time, Loāak didnāt pull away. Neither of them moved.
They only watched each other, floating between emotions, in a world where neither past nor future matteredāonly this moment.
Neteyam reached forward, his face stopping mere inches from Loāakās. He could smell himāthat clean, familiar, yet maddening scent that set his blood on fire.
"I want to do it." The words left his mouth with such raw honesty that even he was surprised by them. He was no longer the golden child, not a heroic warrior, the pride of his peopleājust a young man holding the one thing he desired most in his arms. "Fuck, you have no idea how much!"
The weight of the confession crashed down on them both, breaking through like a dam, releasing everything he had tried to suppress for years.
Loāakās fingers trembled as they pressed against Neteyamās face, as if afraid he would disappear if he didnāt hold on tightly enough.
"Then do it." His voice was barely more than a breath as he brought his queue forward, offering it with averted eyes.
"Now."
"Butā¦"
"JUST SHUT UP AND DO IT! I want this, and I know you too, so thereās nothing stopping us, okay?"
Neteyam hesitated, but he couldnāt resist any longer.
Carefully, as if handling something fragile, he reached for Loāakās queue, taking his own between his fingers. The moment was sacredānot a game, not some childish experiment, but something deeper, something true, something that would change everything forever.
Loāakās lips parted slightly as Neteyam slowly drew them closer, their skin warming where their bare stomachs pressed together. Loāak tensed above him, a soft, shuddering whimper escaping him; even that was enough to make Neteyam feel like he was burning alive, but nothing could compare to the moment their neural tendrils brushed together, then intertwinedā
Neteyam felt as if an entirely new world had opened before him.
The first contact was explosive. In a single breath, he felt everythingāLoāakās thoughts, his emotions, as if their souls had fused into one, beating with a single heart. His brother clung to him in surprise, his pupils blown wide, his spine arching as the new sensations crashed over him.
Love. Curiosity. Pain. Wantā¦
Neteyam squeezed his eyes shut, realizing there was no going back.
Loāak knew now. He could feel it all.
And he accepted it.
As his thoughts surged through their bond, as his brother grasped the full meaning, as hesitation slowly melted into understandingāNeteyam instinctively wanted to shield him from it, from the overwhelming storm inside himābut there was nowhere to hide anymore.
Loāakās breathing grew ragged, his gaze locked onto Neteyamās face.
"Iā¦" Loāakās voice echoed deep inside him. No words, just raw, unfiltered emotions flowing between them.
Neteyam clenched his teeth, his hands curling into fists, trying to restrain himselfābut when Loāakās fingers traced down to rest over his chest, right above his heart, he couldnāt hold back anymore.
"Me tooā¦" he whispered, and like a starving beast, he yanked Loāak closer, his lips descending upon his brotherās neck with wild, fevered desperation.
Their breaths mingled, their bodies aligned as if they had always meant to fit together this way. They had no idea what they were doing anymore, only instinctively moving against each other, the tsaheylu deepening their bondānot just through the connection, but in every lingering touch, every shared longing.
Neteyamās lips parted involuntarily as Loāakās hand slid down his side, lingering at his waist, igniting a thousand tiny detonations low in his belly. And when Loāak leaned in to press their mouths together, they both groaned into the kiss, their minds and bodies spiraling into a shared descent.
He felt every hazy, heated thoughtāboth his and Loāakāsāthe ones his brother might never have admitted even to himself. But Neteyam knew. He felt it. Oh, Eywa⦠and it was driving him insane.
They were alone in this perfect, unrepeatable moment, and nothing else mattered anymore.
But⦠this came with something elseāsomething that was about to push them past a boundary they could never return from.
When his hands slid down Loāakās back, and his fingers brushed the base of his tail, his brotherās breath hitched sharply.
Neteyam couldnāt stop himself from gripping his waist, pulling him even closer against himāstunning both himself and Loāak with the realization that their bodies were ready for an entirely different kind of connection too.
SUMMARY: After a long time, Lo'ak finally decides to visit his brother's memory at the Tree of Souls. Little does he know that he won't be meeting just a memory.
Neteyam is finally free in Eywaās embrace, yet the absence of Loāak suffocates him more than ever. He had hoped in vain that his brother would visit him, that he could hear his voice just one last timeābut Loāak never came. However, when his baby bro finally does arrive, their reunion changes everything.
Pairing: Neteyam x Lo'ak
Pay attention to the warnings! If itās not your genre, DO NOT READ!!!
Genre: sibling !ncest, M/M 18+ NSFW! post-canon fix-it, hurt-comfort, mutual pinnin, smut with deep feelings
Loāak
The world of memories had always been a strange experience, something one could never truly get used toāeven if na'vi children learned to enter it before they could walk.
A strange experience, but never like this.
When he finally gathered the courage to connect to the Utraya Mokri after so long, he thought heād only stay for a few momentsāa brief encounter.
He had hoped for something simple, a nostalgic glimpse into the past where his brother would greet him with a smile, maybe caught in the middle of an old adventure or a shared game. He wanted to see Neteyam the way he had always been: smarter than him, stronger and braver, as perfect as he had always beenāand for that, Loāak had always hated him. Well, if he was being honest, "hate" wasnāt the right word. Pain in the assāthat was probably the term Dad had used once.
When they were kids, his brother had been his biggest role model, and he had believed that he could follow in his footstepsāeven with his five fingers and stupid eyebrows.
Small details, who cares?
Naively, he had believed that it didnāt matter how he was born, that one day he, too, could be greatāmaybe even the best. But after being compared to his brother so many times and always falling miserably short, that feeling twisted into something much uglier.
Everyone always questioned why he couldnāt behave like Toruk Maktoās son, why he couldnāt be an example to their peopleāeveryone, except his brother.
Neteyam, though he teased him constantly, never made him feel like he wasnāt good enough. In fact, despite all his annoying pestering, he had been the only one capable of convincing him otherwise.
Loāak had hoped to relive a moment like that from the past, butā¦
As the world unfolded around him, something felt off.
The landscape was familiar, yet foreign. The leaves of the trees shimmered strangely, as if he wasnāt inside a memory but a dream. The air was heavy, unreal. He knew this place, but⦠he had never seen it like this.
And there he wasāNeteyam, just as he had last seen him, but his eyes looked more tired than ever. He lay among enormous, blooming flowers, leaning against their old favorite tree, like an ethereal masterpiece, as if he were a part of this dreamlike scenery.
He was still so breathtakingly beautiful that Loāak felt his heart ache.
He knew this was just a memory, an illusion, yet his brotherās presence felt so real that he couldnāt push past it.
There was so much he wanted to say⦠so much he wanted to askā¦
It was a grave sin before Eywa to disturb the dead, to disrupt their rest by reminding them of their fate. But he had been pretending for so longāhow could he do that to the only person who had ever truly been his anchor?
His whole life, every action, had been a mess of mistakesāand though he knew how many rules he was breaking once again, his legs could no longer hold him. He collapsed to his knees, spilling out a stream of meaningless apologies.
What did it change? Nothing.
He was as pathetic as a child, but he couldnāt stop.
Even in death, the brother whose blood stained his hands had to be the one to comfort him.
And then, suddenlyāhe had no idea howābut Neteyamās lips were on his, and under that kiss, Loāak felt himself turn into liquid protoplasm.
The mantra of Iām sorry in his head was instantly replaced by oh fuck.
He had no idea what they were doingāwell, he knew, but he didnāt understand.
Why?
This was just a very weird dream, right?
The whole world, all of existence, time itselfāstopped.
He could feel the otherās breath, his heartbeat (was that even possible?), and his body couldnāt decide whether to freeze or catch fire.
Neteyamās kiss felt as if it had always been there, buried beneath his skin, carried in his blood, even if he had never known it.
It felt good; too good, maybe.
A fleeting thought crossed his mind that this was the farthest thing from rightānot just between boys, but between brothersābut he couldnāt stop the waves of heat rising in his stomach.
He wanted it.
Damn it, even if Eywa punished him for this, he still wanted more!
He was absolutely inexperienced in this, but he still tried to keep up with Neteyamās annoyingly skilled mouth. Who the hell had taught him this? If he ever got back, he would have to find them and beat them up. Even if it was a girl.
It was too easy to get swept away, and he must have forgotten to breathe because he nearly choked on his brotherās name as it slipped out of his throat, completely beyond his control.
He felt Neteyamās arm shudder beneath his own, and the sensation sent a shiver down his spine as well.
It was only when his brother pulled back slightly that it even occurred to him to question what the fuck they were doing.
If their mother found out that he had been kissing the memory of his dead brother in Eywaās presence, she would probably claw his eyes out on the spot.
But this flushed, handsome boy in front of him⦠(Wait, what?!)
Was he really just a memory? A memory shouldnāt be able to do things it had never done before, and Loāak was absolutely certain that Neteyam had never done this with him.
"You stopped," his brother smiled at him, and his warm palm slid into his hairājust like it always did whenever he had pissed Neteyam off so badly that even he felt like he had gone too far.
Oh. So this was just another prank. And he had fucking fallen for it!
"What the fuck" he muttered irritably. "Are you messing with me?"
He expected this to be the part where Neteyam laughed at him and told him, Why else would I have done it? But instead, the boy lowered his gaze, and the only thing in his expression was pain and⦠longing?
This canāt beā
"I would never with that" he said, pulling back just a little more.
Loāak couldnāt help itāhe physically felt his sudden absence, and he hated it.
Okay, they needed to talk. Or maybe he should leave? They said the longer your soul lingered with Eywa, the harder it was to return to your physical body. How long had he been here? A few minutes?
But no matter how much he tried to convince himself, he didnāt want to leave.
Never again.
...
Noāhe scolded himselfā, do you even realize what that would mean?
And who would even miss me there?! Maybe Payakan.
"Loāak?"
His brotherās worried voice yanked him out of his thoughts.
Neteyam rarely called him by nameā"baby bro" or "skxawng" were much more commonāand usually, when he did, it was because he was absolutely furious with him. But this time, his voice was gentle.
It completely threw him off.
Seeing his hesitation, Neteyam took a step back. Not much, just enough to make the air between them feel suddenly too cold.
Loāakās brain was still foggy, like his brotherās kiss had knocked all sense out of him. Maybe it had, because when Neteyam tried to pull away completely, he reached for him instinctively.
He didnāt think. He just grabbed his arm.
Not too tightlyānot as if he could actually hold him backābut Neteyam still stopped.
"Donāt⦠donāt go," he heard his own voice, and his whole body trembled with the realization.
He wanted his closeness more than he had ever wanted anything in his life.
Neteyam closed his eyes. A long, shaky breath escaped him, like he had been trying to avoid this moment.
"Loāakā¦"
His name slipped from Neteyamās lips like a quiet prayer.
"Why?" Loāak asked, though he wasnāt even sure what he was asking for.
His brother looked at him again, his gaze dark and full of emotions Loāak had never let himself see before.
"Why did you kiss me?" His voice was firmer now, but no matter how hard he tried, it still trembled slightly. "This isnāt a memory. Youāve never done this before."
Neteyamās lips pressed into a thin line, as if holding something back.
Then⦠he just looked tired.
"Because I always wanted to," he finally said.
Loāakās stomach clenched.
"This⦠this canāt be true."
The words hung between them, but neither of them moved.
Neteyamās lips curled slightlyānot in the easy, brotherly smile he so often used to brush things off, but in something sad, something aching.
"You realize I havenāt changed, don't you?" he asked softly. "Youāre just finally willing to see."
Loāakās mouth parted, but no words came out.
Slowly, carefully, Neteyam placed a hand against his chest, barely touching him, as if Loāak might disappear beneath his fingers.
"I have nothing left to lose," he continued. "No more ārightā or āwrong.ā No more responsibilities. No more duty. Thereās only what I truly want."
Loāakās grip on his arm tightened.
He didnāt let go. He couldnāt.
Neteyam turned his head slightly, as if he couldnāt bear to keep looking at him, as if saying the next words would be too much.
"And I want you. Iāve always wanted you."
Something inside Loāak snapped.
All these years⦠he had never even considered that his brother felt this way.
He had thought Neteyam protected him at all costs, risking himself over and over, just to prove how much better he was.
Neteyam⦠wanted him?
What the hell did that even mean?
It couldnāt mean that. Could it?
Then what else could it possibly mean?!
And if this was just a memoryā
No.
This wasnāt a memory.
His gaze dropped to his brotherās chest, and his eyes widened in shock at the faint, yet undeniable scar that shimmered over his heart like a golden star.
This wasnāt a memory.
This was the real Neteyam.
Was this the real Neteyam?!
Eywa, what kind of game are you playing with me?!
"Iām sorry if it disappoints you," his brotherās voice broke in a way that was so unlike him.
What was he supposed to say?
He hadnāt been prepared for⦠this.
Not for Neteyam to be the one to appear before himā
The one who knew exactly why he had died.
The one who knew his sin.
"I tried to bury it so many times, butā¦"
And Neteyam didnāt blame him. Instead of yelling at him or pushing him away, he had just admitted that he actually⦠alwaysā¦
Loāak didnāt think any further. Thinking wasnāt his strong suit anyway.
He surged forward, grabbing his brother by the shoulder with one hand while the other slid to the nape of his neck, pulling him in for a kiss so intense that if Eywa were to take his life the next moment for this disgrace, he wouldnāt regret a thing.
The kiss burned on his lips like searing embers. There was nothing soft about it, nothing carefulāLoāak wasnāt careful. He never was.
And Neteyam⦠Neteyam didnāt pull away.
Quite the opposite.
Loāak felt his brotherās hand gently press against his cheek, fingers tracing his cheekbone as if trying to memorize it. As if he wasnāt sure how long he had left.
That thought clawed bitterly at Loāakās throat.
It shouldnāt be like this. Neteyam should be here. In his body, in life!
In the world where Loāak was tooābut he wasnāt.
The realization stabbed through him like a blade.
A panicked pain swirled in his chest, a crushing weight he couldnāt shake even if he wanted to. And yet, beneath the pain, something else was lurking.
Something warm.
Something familiar.
Something he had perhaps never wanted to see before.
Slowly, he pulled backābut not all the way. He pressed his forehead to Neteyamās, letting their breaths mix.
"Youā¦" The words died in his throat. He didnāt know what he wanted to ask. He didnāt know how to ask.
Neteyam exhaled softly. "Iām sorry."
Loāak frowned.
"For what?"
Neteyamās hand still rested on his cheek, as if afraid that if he let go, Loāak would disappear too.
"For saying it too late."
A strange tremor ran through Loāakās chest.
Neteyamās eyes were hazy, filled with sorrow, longingāand something else Loāak was just now beginning to understand.
It had always been there.
Neteyam had always looked at him like thisānot just as family. Not just as the protective older brother to the reckless younger one.
And Loāakā¦
Too many things clicked into place at once.
The way Neteyam always stood up for him, even when it meant getting punished too.
The way he had always mattered more to him than anything elseāeven his own life.
And the way that, when he lost him, it felt like half his world had been taken away.
His breath caught in his lungs.
"Shit."
Neteyam looked at him questioningly, and Loāakās mouth twitched. His heart was pounding somewhere in his throat.
"You⦠youāve always loved me, havenāt you?"
Neteyamās gentle, sorrowful smile was louder than words.
"Took you long enough, skxawng."
The nickname slipped from his lips so tenderly that Loāak felt every ounce of resistance inside him dissolve.
Yes, now he knew.
He had always loved Neteyam tooāhe had just been too stubborn, too foolish to recognize it.
And now⦠maybe it was too late.
Pain tightened in his chest again, but Neteyam was still here. He was still here, and Loāak buried his face in his brotherās shoulder, clutching him like he could bring him back, like he could change the past.
Neteyamās fingers slid into his hair, caressing around his tswin, the sensation shooting straight down his spine.
"Itās okay," he whispered. "Iām still here."
And Loāak held onto him like he never wanted to let go.
Looking past his brotherās shoulder, he suddenly noticed the strange flowers around themāflowers he had never seen bloom in the real world before.
"This⦠this isnāt how it should be," he murmured, glancing around in a daze. His brother only let him pull back enough to follow his gaze. "And why this place, out of all our memories?"
Neteyamās expression darkened slightly before a faint, almost mischievous smile flickered across his lips.
"Would you have preferred waking up in our kelku that morning I caught you jerkā"
"SHUT UP!" Loāakās hands clamped over his brotherās mouth instantly, his face igniting in flames.
Neteyam chuckled against his palms, his chest shaking with silent laughter. Loāakās entire body tensedādamn it, was Neteyam making a fool of him again?!
"Are you serious right now?! You had to bring that up?!" he growled, yanking his hands away.
"Hey, you asked. And letās be real, it couldāve been way worse. At least we never saw the tersyu bloom before."
Loāak glanced skyward, as if pleading for patience from Eywa herself.
But his brother didnāt let up. His gaze softened, and when he spoke again, his voice was quieter.
"But I think I know why. Maybe⦠weāre here because this was one of the first times I wasnāt trying to pretend I wasnāt who I really was."
The air shifted between them in an instant.
The lightheartedness vanished, and Loāak felt his heartbeat quicken with an uneasy sense of anticipation.
"I donāt remember us doing anything different here," he admitted. "Or⦠"
His breath hitched.
"Oh, noāthis isnāt about that time when we played olo'eyktan and you married me, is it?!"
Neteyamās eyes fluttered shut for a brief moment, and thenāthere it was. That familiar, guilty half-smile, the one he only wore on those incredibly rare occasions when he actually got caught breaking the rules. Like he was debating whether to talk his way out of itāuntil he let out a quiet, resigned laugh and lowered his head.
Loāak stared in shock as his brotherās ears darkened to a deep shade of purple.
"So I was right."
Neteyam exhaled slowly, rubbing the back of his neck as he looked away.
"We were just kids," he muttered, clearly trying to downplay it, but his voice was too soft, too unsure.
Loāak snorted. "And?"
Neteyam finally met his gaze, and that was when Loāak saw itāthat strange glimmer in his eyes. The hesitation, the nostalgia⦠and something else.
"And⦠maybe I took it a little more seriously than I should have."
His voice carried a rare, quiet shynessāsomething Loāak had never heard from him before.
SUMMARY: After a long time, Lo'ak finally decides to visit his brother's memory at the Tree of Souls. Little does he know that he won't be meeting just a memory.
Neteyam is finally free in Eywaās embrace, yet the absence of Loāak suffocates him more than ever. He had hoped in vain that his brother would visit him, that he could hear his voice just one last timeābut Loāak never came. However, when his baby bro finally does arrive, their reunion changes everything.
Pairing: Neteyam x Lo'ak
Pay attention to the warnings! If itās not your genre, DO NOT READ!!!
Genre: sibling !ncest, M/M 18+ NSFW! post-canon fix-it, hurt-comfort, mutual pinnin, smut with deep feelings
I'm not really a fan of !ncest in real life, but these two little kittens have burned into my soul forever, and after atwow, I needed something to ease my pain. š„² So... a little Neteyam x Lo'ak mutual pining hurt/comfort.
Chapter index
Loāak
..........
With every passing moment, he was more certainācoming here had been a mistake.
Months had gone by, yet he could never bring himself to face Neteyamās memory. His brotherās figure haunted his dreams every night, and though he had become better at pretending during the day, feigning that he was fine, upon waking from those dreams, he wanted nothing more than to scream. Desperately, hopelessly, until perhaps even Eywa would hear him and take him away too. To him. Instead of him⦠Anything would be better than this.
No matter what he did to occupy himself, the gnawing emptiness always found its way back to him. If things were different, Neteyam would surely be there, teasing him for doing a half-hearted job, throwing in a few sarcastic remarks about his lack of skillāonly to pat him on the back and call him an idiot with a smile, like he always did. He hated him for that. He⦠missed him so much.
Something had been lost with him, something irreplaceable. His parents no longer scolded him, no longer compared him, yet the unspoken accusation lingered in their silent gazes.
He was certain they would all be happier if he had died instead of his brother. And oh, how happy he would be! Or at least⦠happier.
More than once, he caught glimpses of blame in his motherās eyes, or fleeting glances from his siblings whenever Neteyam was mentioned. Just a brief flicker in their gaze, but he knew exactly what it meant.
They had looked at him like that countless times throughout his life, whenever he messed upājust like always. But this time⦠this time was different. This had crossed a line. They would never forgive him.
And he would never forgive himself.
Back then⦠when things felt too much, he would retreat, pulling his knees to his chest, rocking himself on the highest branches of a treeāuntil he came. Usually teasing him, ruffling his hair, refusing to leave until he admitted exactly how he felt. And when at last he snapped and spilled all his pain, Neteyam would just be there, reassuring him that he wasnāt alone, that he always would be. No matter how many called him a freak, a demon-blood, no matter how many times he got hurt because of his own stupidity or how often Dad punished him for yet another reckless actā
but now, he wasnāt there.
Because of him.
The water had become such a part of his daily life that it almost felt like he had been born metkayina. By now, even in his most distressed moments, it no longer troubled him to quiet his heartāat least, physically. Inside, there was only war, but his heartbeat gradually slowed, merging with the soft rhythm of the waves.
Did he even have the right to be here? He didnāt think so. Perhaps he would only catch a glimpse, a memoryābut how would he react to seeing him? To his killer⦠And how could Loāak stand before him without crumbling beneath the weight of guilt, without begging to take his place?
He deserved life so much more. Everyone would be so much happier if they could trade places!
He would never hurt anyone again. And maybe, just maybe, his soul would finally stop aching.
One last time, the five-fingered hand he had always despised curled into a fist as he connected his tswin to the softly glowing tendrils of the Utraya Mokri. And as his mind sank into the swirling, luminous currents, a single tear rolled down his cheek.
ā
Neteyam
..........
Being with Eywa⦠was like sinking into the purest, most serene spring. No pain, no fear, no hungerāonly comfort, as his soul lay bare before the vastness of existence, waiting. Perhaps to be reborn, he thought. Honestly, this wasnāt such a bad state to be in. A place, where he no longer had to wear the mask of perfection.
He could simply be himself. Eywa had no expectations of him. She let him rest at last, without the constant worry of Loāak sneaking out in the middle of the night, getting himself killed...
ā¦
Oh. Shit.
He barely managed to stir from the weightless stillness, but his eyes fluttered open hesitantly.
Loāakā¦
Was there anyone to stop him from doing something reckless now that he couldnāt?
He could only hope their parents werenāt too harsh on him. That⦠they didnāt blame him. After all, he had been the one to fail.
Maybe they refused to admit that it was his mistake, but logically, it had been that one misstep. That one careless moment, when he hadnāt protected himself properly, despite all of Dadās lessons on how to evade such an attack. He hadnāt controlled himself. He hadnāt positioned himself correctly when he stepped out of hiding. If only he could tell them!
Loāak⦠there was no one left who would know where to find him when he was hurting. No one to comfort himānot that Neteyam had ever been very good at it, but he had cherished every moment when his brotherās sulking would, after enough pestering, break into the smallest smile. And then everything was okay againābecause Loāak was already thinking up his next reckless idea, the kind that, at best, would only break his neck.
Did he⦠at least miss him? Even a little?
"Do you truly wish to know?"
The voice came like a gentle melody in his mind. He should have been used to it by now, hearing it so often, but still, he shuddered, as if caught in something shameful.
His face flushed, hiding behind a shy smile, though he knew there were no secrets before her. Out of habit, he still tried to suppress his emotions.
"Itās foolish," he murmured. "Surely he enjoys his new life as the eldest brother. No longer compared to me, no longer expected to be like me. Without me, he can finally be who he always wanted to be."
"And yet, your heart aches."
"Just⦠because he never came. I understand why he wouldnāt want to see me, but⦠even if he canāt hear me, I just wanted to hear his voice. See that skxawng face of his. Know what memory would come to his mind when he thinks of me."
It hurt. More than he expected.
So much time had passed, and all of his siblings had come. At first, tearful, then later, with bittersweet smiles, recalling only the good times they had shared.
But he never came.
He, whom Neteyam had waited for most of all, had never come.
"You have yet to use your wish."
Eywa knew him too wellāthere was no use denying it. When she first spoke to him, she had offered a gift, a small compensation for giving his life to save another. He could have used it anytime. But all along⦠he had wanted to use it with him.
Was it selfish to feel disappointed that he never got the chance? He didnāt blame him, butā¦
"He wonāt come, will he?" His voice broke, and the warmth of the endless peace turned cold, freezing as his soul shattered into tiny, aching pieces.
For years, he had suppressed everythingāevery longing, every forbidden feeling he shouldnāt have had for his own brother. He had hoped Loāak would at least love him as his brother. But no matter how hard he tried to get closer, he had never been able to make him... see him.
"Perhaps itās for the best. If he came⦠if I saw him again, Iām not sure what I would do."
His vision blurred with tears he had never allowed himself to shed. He was ready to let go, to fade into nothingnessāuntil Eywaās voice pulled him back.
"In that case, would you like me to send him back?"
Wh-what?
A strange, blinding light engulfed him.
Neteyam woke up leaning against the trunk of a massive tree, surrounded by vibrant tarsyu flowers bloomingāa sight so unusual he immediately deemed it peculiar. He had never seen anything so beautiful in his life.
It took a few moments for his senses to return after the lingering numbness, but once they did, he recognized the place instantly: their secret ābase,ā where he and Loāak had played countless times as childrenājust the two of them, without their sisters or parents.
They had stumbled upon it by accident after his younger brother had run away from home in a sulk, and Neteyam had found him curled up against this tree, tears streaming down his face unstoppable.
He could still recall the frightened desperation on Loāakās face before he wrapped him in a comforting embrace, making the younger boy so stunned he momentarily forgot to sniffle.
"Don't cry," he had said with a smile, gently stroking Loāakās messy braids.
"I'm not crying!" came the irritated reply, and Loāak shook off his hand.
He would never admit it, but Neteyam knew anyway: he was hungry. Tired. Scared⦠He knew every little movement his brother made all too well.
"Were you afraid?" Neteyam had asked, sitting down beside him cautiously, leaving just enough space in case the little boy wanted to lean into him. Of course, he didnāt. "Itās okay now. Iām here with you."
"Great. Now weāre both lost!"
Always the optimism, since the day he was born. And it seemed Neteyamās life mission was to cheer him up, over and over again, despite it all.
"Do you remember what Mom taught us? If youāre lost, ask Eywa for guidance. Eywa shows the way to all her children."
He reached out to touch a nearby tarsyu. Back then, it looked nothing like the dreamlike spectacle it had become nowāit was wrapped in a thick cocoon, shying away from his touch.
Out of the corner of his eye, he glanced at his brother. There was something similar between him and this plant, the way he hid within his own imaginary cocoon, too shy to reveal his bloom. But Neteyam was certain that if Loāak ever opened up, he would be more beautiful than any flower on Pandora.
"Any other plans?" Loāak had asked skeptically, but then his eyes widened as an Atokirina' gently landed on Neteyamās outstretched finger.
For a few moments, they both stared in aweāfirst at the Sacred Treeās seed, then at each otherāuntil, suddenly, hundreds more appeared, floating before them in an interwoven chain.
"See?" Neteyam laughed. "Eywa is showing us the way home."
They returned to this place countless times afterward, just the two of them. The tarsyus never opened their petals, just as Loāak always took a step back whenever their bond grew too close.
More than anything, Neteyam had wanted to see him there, among the blooming flowers, once moreāone last time.
A soft breeze caressed his face, and an Atokirina' drifted gently before his eyes. As his gaze followed its path, a tall shadow suddenly fell over him.
A tall, lean figure with loose braids, a leather strap around his waist. A palulukan dagger hung at his sideāa blade, all too familiar. Once, it had been his own.
So he had kept it?
His dead heart felt as if it had started beating once again. A strange, tingling warmth spread through his entire beingāsomething akin to pure happinessāas he took in the sight before him.
Loāak⦠He had grown so much. Taller than in this memory, even taller than Neteyam remembered from the last time he saw him.
His hair was no longer tied to his tswin, left to fall freely on either side of his face.
He was older now, and yetā¦
He looked more lost than ever, staring at Neteyam shocked. He seemed on the verge of speaking when, suddenly, he just dropped to his knees.
"Iām sorry," Loāak said, his voice carrying an unfamiliar edge, deeper than Neteyam remembered⦠had it changed while he was gone?
Neteyam couldnāt stop himself from leaning in, a soft smile spreading across his face. His brother may have grown taller, but he was still the same lost little boy as always.
And yet, something much heavier weighed on him now.
Neteyam wasnāt sure what to say to avoid ruining this momentāthe last moment granted to them.
"Sorry for what?" he asked, startled by the sound of his own voiceāit had been so long since he last spoke that it almost felt foreign.
But Loāak reacted instantlyāhis body tensed, his ears twitched, but he didnāt look up.
"Iām sorry⦠I⦠I should haveā¦."
Neteyam stared at him.
Loāak was trembling.
Not like when he was a child, overwhelmed by frustration. Not like when his feet had frozen to the ground, afraid, as he tried to claim his ikran. His fists clenched tightly on his knees, as if that was the only thing keeping him from completely breaking apart.
Neteyamās heart ached at the sight. Every word he wanted to say got stuck in his throat.
This was the moment he had been waiting for, and now⦠now he was frozen, unable to move.
Loāak⦠His Loāak.
Wild, stubborn, irresistibly free, always defying every rule in his path.
And yet, here he was, kneeling before him, shatteredāevery ounce of strength and defiance abandoned, as if he had finally surrendered in a battle he was never meant to fight alone.
Neteyam swallowed hard and instinctively reached out, wanting to touch Loāakās hairāto feel that he was really here, finally, after so long.
But his fingers stopped midway.
Would it only make things harder?
Would Loāak even want him to?
His brother gasped softly, as if carrying the weight of the entire world on his shoulders. His body shook, but he didnāt lift his head.
"Iām sorry," he whispered again, barely audible. "Iām sorry I couldnāt save you. Iām sorry that I get to live, and not youāyou, who deserved it so much more."
Neteyam didn't know what to do, his heart was pounding.
The love he felt in that moment was so overwhelming, it was almost unbearable.
"Hey," he finally said, hoarsely. "What kind of nonsense are you saying, baby brother?"
He didnāt hesitate anymore. He reached forward and cupped Loāakās face in both hands.
His brotherās skin was warm under his touch, his tears leaving tiny trails across his cheeks.
"Look at me," Neteyam said softly.
Loāakās eyes slowly opened, and when their gazes finally met, Neteyam felt his breath hitch.
Those beautiful, warm golden eyes he had always lovedānow broken, yet burning with a strange mix of pain and love.
"You are not to blame," Neteyam said firmly. "You never were. I chose to protect you. I chose to give my life for you, if needed."
Loāak shook his head.
"But if⦠if I had been stronger⦠if I hadnāt been such a burden⦠If I had just listened to youā¦."
Neteyam sighed, wiping away his tears with his thumb.
"You were never a burden, Loāak. Never."
Loāakās lips quivered, as if about to protest, but Neteyam didnāt let him.
He leaned forward, pressing his forehead gently against his brotherās, just as he had done so many times when they were children.
Silence settled between themāa single, eternal moment where only their breaths mingled, and their hearts beat as one.
Then, Loāak moved first.
He lifted his hand hesitantly, as if afraid Neteyam would vanish before his eyes. But when his fingers touched his brotherās armāhe was there.
This wasnāt a dream.
Not an illusion.
Neteyam was real.
Tears welled up again, but this time, not from pain.
Neteyam watched him, uncertain. He had always been a sensitive boy behind the defiant mask, but he had never fallen apart like this.
What could he do to cheer him up? Or at least snap him out of it. He shook his head slightly, then slowly pulled his brotherās face closer and leaned in.
Loāakās eyes widened as he realized what was happeningāwhen his brother gently brushed his lips against his own, it was as if every thought in his mind had vanished. Neteyam kissed him carefully, tasting him softly, giving him the chance to pull away if he wanted to.
Loāakās breath hitched, and he remained motionless for a long moment. Then, barely perceptible, like the touch of a delicate petal, Neteyam finally felt the slightest movement of his lipsāand his little brother, the one he had longed for all his life, hesitantly kissed him back.
The sensation surged through every nerve in his body, and he nearly cried out in joy.
"...teyam..."
His name, in Loāak's voice, just beneath his lipsāit felt like too much to bear.
Maybe he had gone too far. But did it even matter anymore? He only managed to pull back just enough for their gazes to meet, and though he could see the thousand unspoken questions in the otherās eyes, he couldnāt bring himself to answer them.
"You stopped" he finally murmured with a gentle smile, reaching up to stroke Loāakās flushed, trembling ears.
Sees this Japanese skater with amazing step sequences, something Yuri struggles with himself, and follows him to talk to him.
Plans to talk to him, but the idiotās crying and you canāt get over how heās already shattered your illusion of how great he is.
Accidentally makes him fear you, but if it motivates him to skate better, then mission accomplished.
Watches Viktor totally not know who he is and offend poor Japanese Yuuri, who is already upset with himself.
Tells Viktor he better damn well apologize to Yuuri at the banquet.
Looks up Yuuri Katsuki online and discovers heās 23. Wtf, he looks like heās 16.
GPF - SOCHI BANQUET
Makes Viktor apologize to Yuuri
Is called out by Yuuri and insulted for the bathroom talk, challenged to dance off
Enjoys dance off more than kittens (wtf is that even possible?)
Wants to talk to Yuuri more, but Yuuri starts gushing about how heās been Viktorās fan forever and challenges him to a dance off
Takes pictures of dance off for Viktor, but canāt keep his eyes off Yuuri (result: all shots of Yuuri are stunning, but pics of Viktor are crap)
Never sends Viktor the pictures, but makes Viktor and Chris send him pictures from the banquet (āfor blackmailā is the excuse)
Tries to forget about Yuuri, but keeps looking up his old routines online, uses Google Translate to read his profile on the Japanese figure skating site, and takes up video gaming because Yuuri lists it as his hobby
Canāt bring himself to delete the pics from the banquet
Still bothered by how old Yuuri is, but still doesnāt know why
Checks results of Japanese Nationals, only to see that Yuuri came in last place
Deals with crushing disappointment by playing video games and avoiding articles about how Yuuri might retire
A TRIP TO JAPAN (Episode 2)
Sees video of Yuuri skating Viktorās āStay Close to Meā routine. Itās not perfect, but heās landing his jumps and the step sequence is just as fantastic as expected. (What the hell. If he can skate like this, why didnāt he do better at the GPF?)
Finds out Viktor left to coach Yuuri, and feels a strange sense of jealousy. Wasnāt Viktor supposed to choreograph his senior debut short program? Thatās right. Thatās all heās jealous of.
Stalks Viktorās social media until Viktor tags the location (#ninja, Hasetsu Castle), then takes the first flight to Hasetsu
Doesnāt know where the crap Yuuri lives, but thankfully a local fisherman points him towards a building and says āViktorā
Finally sees Yuuri, but the idiot runs right past him without looking at him. Yuri makes a point to stand out, so heās very taken aback
Loses himself to anger (since he came all this way and Yuuriās ignoring him) and kicks Yuuri, then blames Yuuri for it. (Gah, itās his fault I feel this way! Whatever this feeling isā¦)
Calmly tells Yuuri about Viktorās skating career, accidentally reveals his true thoughts. He knows he can surprise people because people have been underestimating him all his life.
Reminds Viktor about his promise. Viktor proposes a battle, which quickly becomes āOnsen on Ice.ā Since Yuri wants to see Yuuri skate again, he agrees. Besides, thereās an irrational desire to get Viktor away from Yuuri. Again, he has no idea why.
Yuuri gets assigned the upbeat song. Yuriās jealous, but he also really wants to see Yuuri skate it.
ONSEN ON ICEā¦VERY EROS (Episode 3)
Canāt focus on this āagapeā bullshit because he doesnāt believe love exists
Even though he treated Yuuri like crap, his family has taken him in to their onsen, given him shelter, and fed him. Is it a cultural thing? Even Yuuri is being way kinder to him than he deservesā¦
Watches Yuuri skate like crap again. What happened to the poledancer? That was the most āerosā thing Yuri had ever seen.
Yuuriās āerosā is katsudon (pork cutlet bowl) wtf. Suddenly has the urge to call Yuuri ākatsudon.ā It beats the other insults, and secretly it makes him happy since itās Yuuriās favorite food and his āerosā apparently.
Viktor makes them stand under waterfall in white robes. Feels oddly relaxed around Yuuri, remembers his step sequence and his āStay Close to Meā video, and then thinks of his grandpa, someone else who makes him feel relaxed.
Oh snap. Does āfeeling relaxedā mean āunconditional loveā? Yuri feels it for both Yuuri and his grandpa, but he pushes away the idea of Yuuri. Grandpa is his agape. Thatās it.
Yuri can see Yuuriās entire chest through his robe. Itās oddly fascinating, so he makes himself look away. Then he sneezes. Gosh, he needs to get out of there fast.
āWhereās Viktor?ā he says. āNagahama Ramen.ā Yuri grabs Yuuriās hand. āWeāre going there too!ā Yuuri pulls away at his touch. āHuh?ā Heās so surprised and his cheeks look a little flushed. He rushes ahead. They donāt end up going to Nagahama Ramen.
Is shocked when Yuuri very politely asks him to help him land his quad Salchow. Wait, does Yuuri see him as real competition? (Heās been expecting everyone to underestimate him because of his age. Yuuri asking for his help is oddly touching.)
Picks a sexy see-through outfit for his agape performance. Itās got a cross at the center so it fits the themeā¦probably.
Fails to present a perfect performance. Since Yuuri sees him as a real competitor, he wanted to prove it once and for all. He canāt even hear Viktorās cheers.
Finally gets to see Yuuri skate again and itās unlike anything heās done before. Itās just so āeros.ā And that step sequence. He missed a landing on a jump, but Yuri hardly notices. Oh crap. His heart is pounding. This is different than any performance heās ever watched before. Itās making his chest clench tightly.
Sees how Viktor is looking at Yuuri, remembers the banquet, realizes that Yuuri will win this Onsen on Ice for sure. Viktor didnāt come here just because of the video. Heās got a crush on Yuuri. And for some reason, that hurts Yuri deeply.
Leaves before he can cry, almost starts to cry outside but Yuko stops him. He tells her to pass on the message that heāll beat Yuuri one day. Run awayā¦he tries to convince himself thatās not what heās doing. Itās not like Viktor would let him stay anyway. No, Yuri needs to improve and then he can face Yuuri againā¦and itāll give him time to figure out this strange feeling.
The whole flight back Yuri canāt sleep since his mind is filled with worries. Yuuri is 8 years older than him. Why does that still bother him? This is stupid. He shouldnāt be thinking about him, but he canāt help it.Ā
BACK IN RUSSIA (Episode 4)
Once back in Russia, Yuri throws himself back into practice. He needs to be better. Next time he faces Yuuri he wants Yuuri to be impressed with him. He tries not to think about it too much, but in every spin, every jump, he feels a tug at his heart, he remembers that pounding during Yuuriās performance.
Lilia arrives and Yuriās ready to do whatever it takes, to become someone else. He busies himself with practice, not only to become better but to distract himself. Donāt think of Yuuri. Donāt think of Yuuri. Stop saying his name. Itās āpigā or ākatsudon.ā Katsudonā¦eros⦠That performance. The banquet. Crap. Why did katsudon have to be so delicious?
Yuuko texts that Yuuriās producing his own free skate program. Yuriās glad he got her number. Sheās his only line to Yuuri. Ever since Onsen on Ice, Yuri refuses to contact Viktor, that traitor. How cozy is he getting with Yuuri? He was soooo flirtatious. Does he really like Yuuri? Could Yuuri like him too? Heād noticed a fair amount of blushing from him. Crap. Why does he even care?
The assignments for the Grand Prix Series are announced and all Yuri can think about is whether heāll see Yuuri or not. Will he get to compete against him? How will he face him now? But even though heās worried, heās excited to see Yuuri again. Especially to see him skate. Yeah, thatās all. He likes Yuuriās skating. That doesnāt mean he likes himā¦or does it? But Yuri canāt deny it anymoreā¦heās probably liked Yuuri from the first time he saw him skate.