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what am i doing here in this endless winter

[fangmother]

But I am I. And I won't subordinate my taste to the unanimous judgment of mankind.

fandomless crime/historical/supernatural oc. extremely au friendly. rainer uschi brzezicka. she and her. violence as acts of service. violence as a habit. the violence of self-service. violence as a tool and a crutch.

brief // rules // bio+verses

[tooth--ache]

If one must imagine Sisyphus happy, one might also imagine Narcissus masturbating.

A hushed mutter of what the fuck are you on about now on his lips, and Howard blandly replied, "Selfcest is a tag in Archive of Our Own -- not to say it's a tag I live in, of course, that would be Honkai Impact fanfiction. I'm sure if anyone at all interested in such erotica, it will be Narcissus, yes, and it is in fact as easy as imagining that a reality. Such is the beauty of crowdsourced literature. Long live human creation, boycott character AI apps."

[lostinquisitor]

Indiana Jews race to reclaim a synagogue that shaped the Reform movement

The Lafayette congregation pioneered egalitarian prayer and launched national rabbinic leaders. Now locals hope to reclaim the 1867 building

YOU 🫵 read our article!!!

[fangmother]

I've been on my other blog @copycaat 😔 not a lot but I missed my other white haired transgender faggot freak

[fangmother]

Do you have a permanent house? What does it look like? What kind of decor do you have? What's your favourite knicknack?

Rainer doesn't really have a "permanent" house, because she likes to keep it moving, but right now her main residence is a condo in Milwaukee that is two story with neighbors on either side and a small backyard where she grows potatoes in pots. The floors are wood with lots of decorative carpets, she has a couple of pieces of art hanging on some walls, tons of pictures of her loved ones hanging on the walls, kinda sparse furniture for seating and no TV but a ton of bookshelves. The colors are pretty muted, her sheets are gray or brown depending on the season (grey silk in the summer, brown flannel in the winter). Katya's room is an explosion of hot pink, with white unicorn wallpaper bordering the top of the room, and barbie sheets.

Rainer's favorite knicknacks are her various swords, (six of them, one of them quite small and in several pieces) which she keeps in glass cases mounted in the hallway towards her bedroom.

Before she moved to Milwaukee, she lived in a pretty nice flat with a friend in Berlin, who ended up moving in with her fiance, so Rainer took that as a sign maybe it was time to leave Berlin and try something new again.

[fangmother]

UwU

Hi Mommy!!

Can I pwease have a snack of choccy milk and nuggies?

I've been very very good today

Here child, sit down next to me. We will be focusing on enunciating when you speak, and once we've finished with that we will move on to a lesson on persuasion. You may have your chocolate milk and chicken nuggets when you can articulate to me why you should have them.

[fangmother]

☆ Put this star into the inbox of your favourite blogs. It’s time to spread positivity ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

YAYYYY HIIIIII

[fangmother]

@paperworkanddogs asked:

He's wearing a shirt that says "DO NOT GIVE A CIGARETTES NO MATTER MY BEG" and surprisingly not eating anything horrid. He is, however, smoking a very wide cigarette. Is there also weed in it? We'll see "I have a question for you. About raising children"

"Stop," she says, holding her palm up at him for a moment. She plucks the cigarette from his fingers and takes a long, looooooong drag from it, and then places it back neatly in his fingers, half smoked.

She has to turn away and bend over at the waist and cough her lungs out for a second, holding her finger up at him in the universal "one second" gesture, and once she finishes with that she straightens and arranges her hair like nothing at all had happened.

"You know you can always ask me anything, Klein," she tries to sound a little warmer and more open than usual, privately praying that she's getting grandkids and soon. "Go ahead, what is your question?"

[fangmother]

☆ Put this star into the inbox of your favourite blogs. It’s time to spread positivity ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

literally twirling my hair and kicking my feet rn

[fangmother]

☆ Put this star into the inbox of your favourite blogs. It’s time to spread positivity ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

YAYYYYYYYY

[fangmother]

☆ Put this star into the inbox of your favourite blogs. It’s time to spread positivity ( ´ ▽ ` ).｡ｏ♡

YOU are too kind

[tooth--ache]

A knowing look exchanged between the squire and Howard himself, the order given was loud and clear. "Yes, my lord," was the answer Howard gave, hand over his heart as he bowed, while the Champion drifted away to their horses. Once freed from the scrutiny of the young lord, Howard turned to the squire and told him to leave the breaking of camp until he sent the word for it, for he suspected the day of mourning had truly now descended upon them. Bedrolls and wound dressings to be prepared anon, ready to accept injuries. It would be a long and arduous day, so ensure food is at the ready, and clean water besides. The squire nodded gravely, and once Howard dismissed him, he slinked away, gathering all other squires and swains, whispering low among themselves, pointing at Howard every so often.

The easier part of delegation is done. Now comes the hard part. Howard donned his helm and marched towards the men, and they at once knew something was amiss when the giant approached them on foot. Avaloc and Tristain alighted their horses immediately, though others remained on theirs, watching curiously.

"My lord, you seem grave. What news have you?" Avaloc asked, placing a hand on Howard's shoulder.

"I am to deliver the word of the Champion, and myself besides; firstly in the name of our Lord and Saviour, to whom I pray for our safety, may our resolve never break."

Never good news when the giant begins an order with a prayer. Howard of Prydein prays to the Lord every chance he has, and that is to say he is closer to God than most of them, so when the Lord God falls from his lips, something must have gone terribly wrong, or will be. The knights and swordsmen began to fall silent, awaiting what would come next.

"My lord the Champion has spoken: knights-errant, my lords Du Lac and Lourne, shall lead the lance as we had planned. Sir Du Lac will take point, and Sir Lourne the rear. Myself and the lord Champion shall take the winding narrow hunter's path, to cover all likelihood that we may find any clues."

"Why would the lord Champion not send you and Tristain instead, my lord?" asked a voice in the crowd. "You and Sir d'Aillie are the best trackers of our group; none would miss your scrutiny. Would it not be better to have the Champion lead the lance then?"

"I track animals, not men," Tristain answered blandly. "But a fair observation. And please, call me not by my family's name. Tristain is fine."

"The Champion tracks men and animals," Howard took the opportunity quickly. "We shall be swift. Now I will accept no more questions, for I wish not the wrath of our lord Champion. Should more questions arise, bring them to him thyself."

A low murmur. The Champion is a mere child, but a child of a demon, a revenant, a curse upon the land, tamed by means they have yet known but are sure not theirs to command. They had seen what he had done to Howard, and wished not for it to befall them. No, they will keep their questions to themselves.

"Please return to the lance as soon as you can, my lord," said Avaloc, and Howard nodded in response, not wanting to promise him anything.

The reins to his palfrey were taken with a low bow of his head. A quick check to see that his horse was saddled correctly, he mounted her with ease, and the palfrey began to sway slightly as if light-headed, but it was merely happy to be on the road again.

"My lady, behave yourself," Howard patted her neck. "I fear for this palfrey sometimes." He lifted his head upon that question -- silver?

He hung his helm on a small loop by his waist, took his gauntlet off and dug that free hand into the neck of his armour. Out came a rosary, on the end of which hung a cross, worn on the sides from being held desperately in prayer.

"Only this, my lord: a rosary gifted to me by Princess Aliénor, when my tongue was loose and I had wished for one in her earshot. She was visiting Avallan from Lusitan the day I arrived from Prydein. The Bride of the Lord they call her for her piety, spared from our lady's fate, I must say -- else she had been wed to Prince Ywain, and we would be here for her and not Lady Laiunne."

"Why do you ask, my lord?"

[fangmother]

The Princess from Lusitan, Rainer remembers her well. The Prince Ywain had bucked at the comely match, for his own professed love of the Lady Laiunne, and she had taken his reluctance-- what many would have considered a slight, with truly easy and good nature. She had prayed in nigh an hour every morning to a statue of the Holy Mother in the gardens, and her pale, petal-like fingers had trembled whenever Rainer strode past her in the hall. His body language does not shift at the reveal of the rosary, but he does nod to acknowledge he'd heard.

The Hell Bitch snakes her head in an ill-tempered attempt to land a bite on Howard's knee, and Rainer manages to avert her ire with an absent tug on the reins, knowing that she only likes to make sure everyone is paying attention while they're on the hunt. He nudges her into a swift trot, keeping his own ears and nose open.

"A fine gift from a fine and pious Princess," he finally allows, lips twisting into a thoughtful frown beneath his pale mask. "I ask because silver might damage a great many devils and creatures of the night, though I did not expect you to have much, if anything, in the way of it."

Silver makes a poor, expensive blade, it has been known a long time. He has a few of varying lengths in his possession most of the time, and those blades are likely the only reason the more superstitious of the court have not accused him, at least to his face or the court at large, of being an actual devil. He handles the blades bare-handed, and they imagine a devil might howl and hiss and burn under such contact.

Without breaking the Hell Bitch's stride, he draws a sheathed blade from his boot-- the length of Howard's palm and unadorned with frivolous jewels or inlaid designs on the cow leather-wrapped handle.

"If you would carry this, Howard," he stretches his arm out across the gap between them, gaze utterly serious. "It would ease my concern for you greatly. Take care not to strike it upon anything not cursed flesh, else the blade will warp."

He eyes Howard for a half-second, his peripheral vision poor, before continuing: "I meant what I said previously," his hand settles absently on the hilt of his sword. Strapped beneath his cloak at the base of his spine is a blade the width of his own palm, alike in make to the one he'd just handed over to his companion. "You are not to engage with the Lady, nor the devil, unless--"

A wild shriek splits the air from the path in front of them, and Rainer turns his attention toward the noise, reining his mare to a sharp stop and leaping from her back with her forward momentum. He lands in a crouch, darting into the underbrush before them. His heartbeat in his ears is slow, even. The smell of rot and blood hits him next, and when he reaches the edge of the clearing he stands in the early-morning shadow of a pair of silver birch trees and watches a thing wearing Lady Laiunne's face stand utterly, perfectly still in the center of the clearing, hands at her sides, face turned fully towards him though he knows he'd not made enough noise to alert any human to his presence. She blinks at him.

"My lady," he greets her frankly. One hand settles on the hilt of his sword, and the other on the hilt of the silver blade at his back.

Her face twists into a fierce smile.

[fangmother]

Hiiii sorry guys I got crazy busy this week. Will do a few replies this evening I prommy. Also I'm gonna log back onto my Naruto blog for nostalgia and write a few things there this weekend because I deserve to be happy and have fun

[northirish]

At all times I am filled with a berserker like rage but thankfully for everyone around me I am much too tired to do anything with it

[tooth--ache]

The edges of her are faded, as if she comes in a terrible dream. Her hair is pulled back tight against her scalp and there is blood smeared on her jaw, like the first night they met. Her cold, pale eyes are flint-hard, but the twist of her lips is almost sad. "I would like to go with you, Howard," she tells him, her voice muffled strangely, "but it's too late."

✦✦✦ ─────── HIS HANDS reached out desperately for the saint, his bones heavy, so very heavy. Howard growled through clenched teeth, fighting the angry burden of sin plaguing his marrow that prevented him from moving his body. It was seized shut, shackling his ankles to the ground where he was buried, to the skeleton of the real Howard James Pike.

"No! No!" he screamed, tears running down his cheeks. Rivulets of molten stone seared through his flesh down to his chin and neck, and he fought to take another step. "No! Don't leave me, please don't leave me, please, please, please, you can't leave me alone, I don't want to go, I don't want to go alone, please…"

Howard fell to his knees, but his glassy eyes remained skewered on Rainer. They no longer carried the clarity they always did when he was alive and well. Inside his eyes were pools of vulnerability and surrender to God in worship, and in a despondence so great it shattered every blade of ribcage in his chest. His heart splintered into his flesh and tore within him a force of grief that made his whole body collapse in its wake.

"Please," he begged, as the soil beneath him began to crawl over his body. "Please don't leave me…"

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven.

Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.

Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil from evil from evil from evil from evil from evil

The ground opened, where a mouth and a nose appeared from underground. Howard drew a deep, desperate breath into his lungs, then pushed himself out of the grave one weak inch at a time, mud and dirt clinging to every surface of his naked flesh.

With his soil-caked hands he rubbed his eyes, ambling towards the street light where two green bins were waiting for collection. North Norfolk District Council, it read. Frantically, Howard dug inside a bin, and found a Tesco Clubcard leaflet, soggy from the cold humid air.

. . . Sheringham, Norfolk.

[stlamb]

mao hamaguchi

[mosertone]

Crucifix-dagger, Spain, c. 1650