A Place for My Brainrot

Tadpoled by BG3 | Astarion enjoyer | russians DNI

[suratan-zir]

If hearing Trump say that Ukraine started the war with Russia infuriates you – donate to help Ukraine persevere. If you're a USA citizen and you're upset and ashamed of your current government – take part in protests, educate those around you when you can, and donate to help Ukraine persevere. If you know at least a little about history, and you see that the current processes in the world lead to WW3 – donate to help Ukraine persevere, save democracy, and show dictators around the world that they can't take everything they want by power.

Write to your representatives, engage in protests, share whatever you can, or encourage others to do so. This war is so much more than you can imagine. It's the start of something that has the potential to affect everyone, no matter where you are or what you believe in. The world is a dangerous place, and it needs every one of us to do what we can to make it safer. Don't just think good - do good, in whichever small way you can.

[fangsandfeels]

So, while USA is accusing us of warmongering and "not wanting peace" while cutting our support, russia is launching another rocket attack as we speak. On our infrastructure. On our cities.

I guess, this is American for "russia is ready for peace", huh?

This world deserves to burn.

[mrsheo]

⚠️ Siren

[fangsandfeels]

Not now suicidal ideations, I'm looking at my OC's outfit

I'm generally sad that I can't keep this armor for Jerra for the entire game (not without missing out the delicious Adamantine Scale Mail bonuses) because it fits her best thematically and through her color scheme. It's simple, yet cool in its simplicity, it doesn't suddenly go GOLD in Black and Furnace Red dye and this color scheme fits the one preferred by the Hoar's church members:

"The ceremonial attire of the priests of Hoar consisted of a black tunic over a long gray robe, with gloves of soft black leather. When on an official "hunt," they donned masks of surreal design that concealed their faces. Around their waists, they wore dark-red sashes with silver borders; priests often kept trophies or tokens of past victories attached to this."

I imagine that while Astarion would stand at this spot early each morning to see and bask in the sunrise surrounded by all that amazing scenery, Jerra would be visiting that spot each time there is as much as a hint of a storm cloud in the sky, just in case she gets to see a thunderstorm.

[fangsandfeels]

Not the one to usually do dumpster diving, but the comments under Yatzli companion trailer are hilarious. The ones with "ugh she is flirty but I'm not flirting back to THAT stupid millennial writing is ruining muh games". First of all, flirty and sex-positive orlans are, like, the staple of Pillars of Eternity, the crybabies would know that had they actually played the previous games.

Second, people typing such comments are probably short, hairy, and have a truly unpleasant nasal voice complete with a limited vocabulary, but for some reason they feel deeply insulted when women don't respond to their flirting, so they can't even follow their own logic.

[fangsandfeels]

In my honest opinion, Obsidian should have stuck to the classic Pillars of Eternity formula...

...but soon-to-commit-suiciders can't be choosers and Avowed feels interesting enough. Also, I like my Envoy's design.

This girl is going to be the Emperor's worst nightmare because whenever the people of Paradis say anything bad about Aedyrans, she says "Yeah, the Empire is shit, actually. No, I'm not reporting you to the Inquisitor, fuck her" and run off to poke at the mystical secrets calling to her from Beyond.

That's what you get for sending your court mystic (who caught on how easy it's to become a scapegoat when you have "godly" marks on your face and the ability to glimpse the future very early in your life, and thus is mostly loyal to herself, not the Empire) to a place known for attracting people wanting to live and belong, not matter the mess and the chaos.

Also fuck imperialists in general, both fictional or real.

[fangsandfeels]

ALSO I DON'T CARE WHAT OBSIDIAN SAYS MALEN IS ROMANCING KAI I DON'T MAKE THE RULES

[fangsandfeels]

In my honest opinion, Obsidian should have stuck to the classic Pillars of Eternity formula...

...but soon-to-commit-suiciders can't be choosers and Avowed feels interesting enough. Also, I like my Envoy's design.

This girl is going to be the Emperor's worst nightmare because whenever the people of Paradis say anything bad about Aedyrans, she says "Yeah, the Empire is shit, actually. No, I'm not reporting you to the Inquisitor, fuck her" and runs off to poke at the mystical secrets calling to her from Beyond.

That's what you get for sending your court mystic (who caught on how easy it's to become a scapegoat when you have "godly" marks on your face and the ability to glimpse the future very early in your life, and thus is mostly loyal to herself, not the Empire) to a place known for attracting people wanting to live and belong, not matter the mess and the chaos.

Also fuck imperialists in general, both fictional or real.

[opheliabmn]

I had to..

[fangsandfeels]

Sometimes it's really funny how Astarion's approvals or lack of disapproval works.

You're nice or hope to make someone stop being an asshole by asking them politely or appealing to their conscience? Pussy. You belong at the Weenie Hut General. Or at the United Nations. If he wasn't dead already, he'd be dying of cringe right now.

You sprinkle your disgustingly good intentions with some promises of incredible violence? Honestly, you're still wasting your time here, but he is too impressed to be mad at you. At least something fun might happen.

"Nooo, don't hurt these slaves, that's so mean, I'm deeply concerned with your bad behavior!"

Astarion:

"Hurt another slave and I'll will stick your decapitated head so far up your ass it'll pop back between your shoulders like a Whac-a-Mole"

Astarion:

[river-rhyne]

[hellions-heart]

putting bg3 point and click voicelines together to sound like a conversation has brought me great joy, so. here's gale, karlach, shadowheart, and astarion doing a terrible job of sneaking around

Visit Original Link

[didyouhearbat]

I just remembered this exists.

It's exceptional and never not funny to me

I know this was posted like 6 months ago but I needed it to be on my current tumblr

This is art, I hope you make more 💜

[y-rhywbeth2]

'Since no elf would approach another elf in reverie except in the direst of emergencies, she [a half-elf who can't reverie] could put on the mask and sleep beneath it, undisturbed.' - Silver Shadows

Astarion: 'I was starving, that is an emergency!'

Elf Tav/Durge*, now sleep deprived and anaemic: 'Hm.'

*Although in Durge's case, their nightmare visions probably aren't something they miss, and their potentially being dead for a few hours is probably better rest than they normally get.

Vampire lore, like much lore, is a touch all over the place, but since Jander definitely qualifies for realmslore, having turned up in sourcebooks and novels, this can be taken as a canon:

'[Vampires] slept as they had died, and most had been laid out and buried in coffins. Jander Sunstar [sprawled out in a terrified heap] had obviously met his vampiric fate in a less tranquil fashion and had never seen a proper ritual burial.' - Blood Sport, Realms of Infamy

Undead Tel'Quessir continue to reverie and Astarion did get a burial, so it's entirely possible he rests in the dracula pose. If you bring that into play he either goes out of his way to hide himself while he's in reverie (I'd suggest the tent, but none of you should have those tents. Where did you even get all that crap??) or spends the first few days deflecting questions about why he 'sleeps' like that. ('Why do you look, act and sleep like a vampire stereotype?' He's a highborn, he's entitled to be eccentric, leave him alone!)

The alternative, if you want Astarion dodging questions about why he's sprawled out in such a distressing way because he looks like he was beaten to death, is that you could say Cazador couldn't be assed to drag him all the way outside the city to bury him in an actual graveyard and didn't give him a 'proper ritual.' He'd be more snappish about that one.

[fangsandfeels]

To think of it, Astarion turning into a twisted and tense heap of limbs, curling on himself, trying to cover his stomach, ribs, and face at the same time whenever he slumbers is more likely because he effectively died when Cazador drained him.

I don't think that Cazador bothered to arrange his body into a more tranquil pose (that would've been hella suspicious) and when Astarion was put in the coffin, he was already dead for several hours. I don't know if that counts.

If that text bit about Jandar means that usually DnD vampires kill their victims quietly, in their sleep, or just drain them gradually until they're too weak to get up, ultimately succumbing to their state, then it makes sense that victims who were turned more violently and painfully would have the most disturbing sleeping poses.

[y-rhywbeth2]

Depends on whether or not it's the moment of death (start of time of death) or the moment of resurrection (end of time of death) that sets their sleep pose, since that's not quite clarified (if a vampire isn't buried in a grave before the next sunrise then they shouldn't rise at all and the attempt to turn them is aborted anyway: if the magic sets in/is sealed at that moment, then that might be the pose).

After Jander's death his sire just dug a hole in the woods and dumped his broken corpse into an unmarked grave to lie as he fell: Astarion did get a coffin and a tombstone, though to be fair these could've been arranged after his actual death when Cazador would have more than a few hours of darkness to sort the smokescreen and etc out. Maybe Astarion had to play dead through his own funeral, who knows.

It seems to be a tossup as to whether it's more common that vampires are usually created from victims in their sleep (their preferred way to feed), or from adventurers who annoyed a vampire they were fighting or got accidentally turned by in combat. (Or the occasional creation of a vampire by a cleric or powerful necromancer)

[fangsandfeels]

If burial is necessary for resurrecting someone as a vampire, then it feels like it has to be the pose at the moment of resurrection - i.e. the moment when the fate of the deceased is sealed.

But now that I think of it, I won't put it behind Cazador to arrange and pay for Astarion's funeral.

First of all, ideally anyone preparing his body for the funeral would take note of very aggressive and visible bite marks on his neck - and of the obvious fact that he was drained of his blood. That just screams "Vampire!". So, either the coroner was in Cazador's pockets and hid the bite marks, never mentioning them in their report, or Cazador just went ahead and started playing the benevolent noble who felt bad for the fellow elf meeting his death so early.

"Poor boy, he was so young and had no kin to take care of him. It would be my solemn duty to assist with his burial, this is the least I can do for him. Oh, don't open the coffin, please. The cruel things those vandals did to him...It's not the sight for the faint-hearted..."

That way, he would have had total control over the burial process (or the lack of it) with nobody paying much attention, so he could just chuck Astarion into a coffin without even trying to make him look presentable for his funeral and dump him into the ground, with tombstone as a formality.

Second, it would have allowed him to spin an even better anti-Gur narrative: look at those savages, mauling a servant of justice to the point he had to be buried in a closed coffin. How we can call our streets safe with such a cruel mob roaming them?

He possibly even succeeded with pushing the Gur community out of the Baldur's Gate entirely, which led to them settling down in Rivington.

Also, nobody would have objected to Cazador taking care of the dead magistrate, probably. Judging by the state of Astarion's tombstone, nobody had been looking after his grave. That means that he either didn't have any family members in Baldur's Gate (or probably ruined his relationship with them so badly, they never bothered to check up on him) because it shouldn't have been a problem for an elf to visit their son's grave every 50 years or so.

(I feel like I'm making Cazador more competent than he actually is, tbh)

[y-rhywbeth2]

The good news for Cazador in the time frame of Astarion's death is that Myrkul was still god of the dead, and so the people handling your funerals were likely to be of his faith and sympathetic to undead and in favour of their propagating, so he probably could've found help easily enough. Another thing in Cazador's favour, now that I remember it, is that what is now the Tumbledown district south of the outer walls (the district itself didn't exist back then) was private land his family owned and also has their family graveyard on it (the only other graveyard available at the time was several miles north of the city (Baldurians cremate their dead)).

Astarion going missing would have been noticed by the city: he (and likely his family) were connected enough that the Dukes were selecting him to stand in for them in the position of magister when they couldn't/didn't want to handle cases (getting selected is a big deal in the Upper City crowd, and you don't even need any qualification for it, which is a depressing statement on the legal system there). I don't know how much it differed in the 13th century, but in the 15th century only Patriars are eligible for this style of 'jury' duty (which is its own can of worms, because Patriar families very explicitly are entirely human with the exception of one dwarven family).

The Gur wouldn't have been able to settle in Rivington at the time, even if they were one of the minority that aren't nomadic, since the area and the entire Outer City didn't exist until the Spellplague in the late 14th century. He certainly could've made life harder for them though.

Astarion's family is too much of a question mark for me to speculate on really. He died shortly before the Retreat started, so it's entirely possible they left the continent for Evermeet with no intention to ever return to human lands. Evereska is likewise extremely isolationist and its nobles noted to be xenophobic, and since he references it I imagine he/his family is from there.

[yourleastfaveperson]

The Frog of Waterdeep :3

I wasted 7 and a half hours on this I have other projects im supposed to be doing im about to crash out-

[y-rhywbeth2]

'Since no elf would approach another elf in reverie except in the direst of emergencies, she [a half-elf who can't reverie] could put on the mask and sleep beneath it, undisturbed.' - Silver Shadows

Astarion: 'I was starving, that is an emergency!'

Elf Tav/Durge*, now sleep deprived and anaemic: 'Hm.'

*Although in Durge's case, their nightmare visions probably aren't something they miss, and their potentially being dead for a few hours is probably better rest than they normally get.

Vampire lore, like much lore, is a touch all over the place, but since Jander definitely qualifies for realmslore, having turned up in sourcebooks and novels, this can be taken as a canon:

'[Vampires] slept as they had died, and most had been laid out and buried in coffins. Jander Sunstar [sprawled out in a terrified heap] had obviously met his vampiric fate in a less tranquil fashion and had never seen a proper ritual burial.' - Blood Sport, Realms of Infamy

Undead Tel'Quessir continue to reverie and Astarion did get a burial, so it's entirely possible he rests in the dracula pose. If you bring that into play he either goes out of his way to hide himself while he's in reverie (I'd suggest the tent, but none of you should have those tents. Where did you even get all that crap??) or spends the first few days deflecting questions about why he 'sleeps' like that. ('Why do you look, act and sleep like a vampire stereotype?' He's a highborn, he's entitled to be eccentric, leave him alone!)

The alternative, if you want Astarion dodging questions about why he's sprawled out in such a distressing way because he looks like he was beaten to death, is that you could say Cazador couldn't be assed to drag him all the way outside the city to bury him in an actual graveyard and didn't give him a 'proper ritual.' He'd be more snappish about that one.

[fangsandfeels]

To think of it, Astarion turning into a twisted and tense heap of limbs, curling on himself, trying to cover his stomach, ribs, and face at the same time whenever he slumbers is more likely because he effectively died when Cazador drained him.

I don't think that Cazador bothered to arrange his body into a more tranquil pose (that would've been hella suspicious) and when Astarion was put in the coffin, he was already dead for several hours. I don't know if that counts.

If that text bit about Jandar means that usually DnD vampires kill their victims quietly, in their sleep, or just drain them gradually until they're too weak to get up, ultimately succumbing to their state, then it makes sense that victims who were turned more violently and painfully would have the most disturbing sleeping poses.

[y-rhywbeth2]

Depends on whether or not it's the moment of death (start of time of death) or the moment of resurrection (end of time of death) that sets their sleep pose, since that's not quite clarified (if a vampire isn't buried in a grave before the next sunrise then they shouldn't rise at all and the attempt to turn them is aborted anyway: if the magic sets in/is sealed at that moment, then that might be the pose).

After Jander's death his sire just dug a hole in the woods and dumped his broken corpse into an unmarked grave to lie as he fell: Astarion did get a coffin and a tombstone, though to be fair these could've been arranged after his actual death when Cazador would have more than a few hours of darkness to sort the smokescreen and etc out. Maybe Astarion had to play dead through his own funeral, who knows.

It seems to be a tossup as to whether it's more common that vampires are usually created from victims in their sleep (their preferred way to feed), or from adventurers who annoyed a vampire they were fighting or got accidentally turned by in combat. (Or the occasional creation of a vampire by a cleric or powerful necromancer)

[fangsandfeels]

If burial is necessary for resurrecting someone as a vampire, then it feels like it has to be the pose at the moment of resurrection - i.e. the moment when the fate of the deceased is sealed.

But now that I think of it, I won't put it behind Cazador to arrange and pay for Astarion's funeral.

First of all, ideally anyone preparing his body for the funeral would take note of very aggressive and visible bite marks on his neck - and of the obvious fact that he was drained of his blood. That just screams "Vampire!". So, either the coroner was in Cazador's pockets and hid the bite marks, never mentioning them in their report, or Cazador just went ahead and started playing the benevolent noble who felt bad for the fellow elf meeting his death so early.

"Poor boy, he was so young and had no kin to take care of him. It would be my solemn duty to assist with his burial, this is the least I can do for him. Oh, don't open the coffin, please. The cruel things those vandals did to him...It's not the sight for the faint-hearted..."

That way, he would have had total control over the burial process (or the lack of it) with nobody paying much attention, so he could just chuck Astarion into a coffin without even trying to make him look presentable for his funeral and dump him into the ground, with tombstone as a formality.

Second, it would have allowed him to spin an even better anti-Gur narrative: look at those savages, mauling a servant of justice to the point he had to be buried in a closed coffin. How we can call our streets safe with such a cruel mob roaming them?

He possibly even succeeded with pushing the Gur community out of the Baldur's Gate entirely, which led to them settling down in Rivington.

Also, nobody would have objected to Cazador taking care of the dead magistrate, probably. Judging by the state of Astarion's tombstone, nobody had been looking after his grave. That means that he either didn't have any family members in Baldur's Gate (or probably ruined his relationship with them so badly, they never bothered to check up on him) because it shouldn't have been a problem for an elf to visit their son's grave every 50 years or so.

(I feel like I'm making Cazador more competent than he actually is, tbh)

[y-rhywbeth2]

'Since no elf would approach another elf in reverie except in the direst of emergencies, she [a half-elf who can't reverie] could put on the mask and sleep beneath it, undisturbed.' - Silver Shadows

Astarion: 'I was starving, that is an emergency!'

Elf Tav/Durge*, now sleep deprived and anaemic: 'Hm.'

*Although in Durge's case, their nightmare visions probably aren't something they miss, and their potentially being dead for a few hours is probably better rest than they normally get.

Vampire lore, like much lore, is a touch all over the place, but since Jander definitely qualifies for realmslore, having turned up in sourcebooks and novels, this can be taken as a canon:

'[Vampires] slept as they had died, and most had been laid out and buried in coffins. Jander Sunstar [sprawled out in a terrified heap] had obviously met his vampiric fate in a less tranquil fashion and had never seen a proper ritual burial.' - Blood Sport, Realms of Infamy

Undead Tel'Quessir continue to reverie and Astarion did get a burial, so it's entirely possible he rests in the dracula pose. If you bring that into play he either goes out of his way to hide himself while he's in reverie (I'd suggest the tent, but none of you should have those tents. Where did you even get all that crap??) or spends the first few days deflecting questions about why he 'sleeps' like that. ('Why do you look, act and sleep like a vampire stereotype?' He's a highborn, he's entitled to be eccentric, leave him alone!)

The alternative, if you want Astarion dodging questions about why he's sprawled out in such a distressing way because he looks like he was beaten to death, is that you could say Cazador couldn't be assed to drag him all the way outside the city to bury him in an actual graveyard and didn't give him a 'proper ritual.' He'd be more snappish about that one.

[fangsandfeels]

To think of it, Astarion turning into a twisted and tense heap of limbs, curling on himself, trying to cover his stomach, ribs, and face at the same time whenever he slumbers is more likely because he effectively died when Cazador drained him.

I don't think that Cazador bothered to arrange his body into a more tranquil pose (that would've been hella suspicious) and when Astarion was put in the coffin, he was already dead for several hours. I don't know if that counts.

If that text bit about Jandar means that usually DnD vampires kill their victims quietly, in their sleep, or just drain them gradually until they're too weak to get up, ultimately succumbing to their state, then it makes sense that victims who were turned more violently and painfully would have the most disturbing sleeping poses.

[y-rhywbeth2]

Interaction with a typical githyanki encounter will make you realise that Lae'zel is an absolute saint really - paragon of diplomacy.

She shows great patience with your apparent istik stupidity regarding the tadpole and only threatens people every now and then. She is polite, generous and friendly.

Voss' party, who you encounter on the bridge murdering people for getting in their way, is the more normal way. Like she could have, to use a very specific example, barged into your village in the middle of the night, set it on fire, and killed a bunch of your neighbours (including your childhood best friend) in front of you, then summoned a bunch of giant murderous spiders and fucked off.

Shadowheart doesn't appreciate how lucky she is to have Lae'zel in the party. Well she kind of does, because she clearly knows what she'd probably get otherwise, but she doesn't appreciate it.

[fangsandfeels]

I always imagine Jerra visibly cringing when the poor guy shows her the vision of the previous paladins who got folded by Ethel.

Of course they had to charge in the hag's playhouse like that. Of course they had to be so fucking loud about it. Try and march through a hag's own territory you don't know shit about- yes, what could possibly go wrong?

Truly, it's impossible to sneak into a hag's abode undetected - Ethel's presence encompassed the entire fucking swamp and Jerra didn't even try to fool herself by thinking Ethel wasn't surveilling her all that time. But running headfirst into the unknown and not keeping your battle cries to yourself made even less sense.