fan behavior

Call me Z. 34. they/she/he. slutty bi. caribbean. This is where I put the posts I can't put on my main blog. MDNI

[alright-fuckhead]

[alright-fuckhead]

[fanhole99]

So I just watched Baby Reindeer over the weekend since Half Man ended... yeah I'm SOBBING.

[fanhole99]

Thinking about an AU where Ruben and Niall immediately hatch a plot to kill Ruben's father that same night he comes to drunkenly yell at their window.

[fanhole99]

Ok so like I said in my original tags, I'm inspired by Wolfgang from Sense8 taking out his abusive rapist father.

I feel like this could be a way for Niall and Ruben to become bonded for life as opposed to the COCSA that takes place in canon.

Also I think the combination of Ruben's vulnerability to tell Niall what his father did and the fact that they've committed a whole murder together, would give the Niall the confidence to accept his sexuality and confide in Ruben, knowing he'd keep it secret for as long as he needed. Because they have a much darker secret together.

I'm seeing Ruben's necklace & Niall's father's sgian dubh as murder weapons. Maybe with Ruben disfiguring the body afterwards...

Maybe Niall did some research at the library about forensics...

Possible blood oaths to consecrate their brotherhood...

I'd definitely want to fill in the gaps of those greatest hits moments Ruben mentioned in the hospital scene. Hmmm...

I've never written a fic before but I'm getting VIVID imagery.

[chaotictomtom]

feeling very normal about this normal show

[eysnirn]

Photo study from past two weeks.

[fanhole99]

Thinking about an AU where Ruben and Niall immediately hatch a plot to kill Ruben's father that same night he comes to drunkenly yell at their window.

[genomilfkin]

Half Man (dir. Richard Gadd)

[s0ftest]

If this is the first time you're hearing a victim of abuse/ molestation talking about how their body could respond with arousal to the actions of their rapist, and it's shaken you, maybe because of your own experiences, I want you to know something:

Your body is not a lie detector.

The mind/ body connection can be complicated. Frequently, there's a disconnect.

One of these disconnects is something called arousal non concordance.

You can be desperate for the touch of someone you're attracted to, kissing them, drawing them closer, and have no genital arousal. It doesn't mean that you don't feel what you feel. Your body isn't "betraying a deeper truth."

Same goes for unwanted responses. You can be repulsed by someone's advances on you, but your body can respond with intense arousal. Bodily responses are morally neutral. Your body being aroused by something you're averse to says nothing about your vaules or desires.

Your body is not the authority over your sexuality. It's the vessel you explore sexuality through, and it's a very simple machine, open to gliches and exploitation. Your bodily resonses can challenge your beliefs, but you get to decide what you like, who you are, and what you want.

[vogueziam]

Ruben is gone forever 😔

[fatmenfatmenfatmen]

half man - the barn

link here for the full chronological compilation

[nobodysomega]

My mum said that she thinks Richard Gadd just really hated Billy Elliot and the whole show was an excuse to have himself kill and beat up Billy Elliot

[filmsonvideo]

[wulfhalls]

looking at this now is like. straight emotional terrorism. THEY HAD SUCH A CHANCE

[fanhole99]

The parallel of Ruben and Niall walking side by side to school, with Ruben kicking the door open... in youth so many paths were available to them.

VS.

Ruben stalking behind Niall to the barn in the wedding and Ruben literally sealing their tragic fate by latching the barn door closed behind them.

[softdevotion]

You love me, don't you?

[holewithoutorgans]

The last subtitle being "grunts apathetically". There's no real catharsis. It's a hollow ending. Numb. Feels like a complete emotional rug pull. . Its so....banal almost.

These are all compliments by the way.

Richard said: