âis your life really that terrible?â
i was asked this earlier. and no. my life is not at all âterribleâ. i have loving parents. and even though sheâs 300 miles away from me, i truly believe and know she loves me. i have caring friends surrounding me. there may only be a short handful, but theyâre there, and i know who they are. they accept me. they understand me, more than i understand myself sometimes. iâve done more with my life than i can even imagine. if you were to tell me ten years ago iâd be where iâm at today, i would one hundred percent not believe you. iâve done amazing things because of the amazing people in my life and that iâve met along the way.
living with anxiety and constant fear of rejection is a battle within itself. itâs the kind of battle i face every morning. itâs the battle i tuck in bed with me at night. itâs the battle thatâs weighing down my shoulders during the day. i canât explain it very easily. itâs something iâve accepted? i canât tell. some days, iâm able to deal with it. some days, i have trouble hiding it.Â
battling with the sickness of depression that society puts between quotation marks, like itâs not a real disease, is one of the hardest things. itâs hard to talk about. itâs hard to think about. itâs easy to ignore, but the hardest to fight.
my life is not terrible itâs just hard.
