How did you end up here?

[kaity--did]

Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me. Listen to me.

I know there is a lot of discourse (tm) around this right now but listen to me

sometimes you do just have to lie to children.

[kaity--did]

If, when my toddler is, you know, toddling around saying “mama? Big ball?”

If I were lean down and say “unfortunately the big beach ball for some reason fills you with such an unadulterated rage that is beyond human comprehension that you scream until you pass out, so mama had to remove the beach ball from the premises until you can better regulate your emotions” she would simply stare at me like I had 3 heads full of equal betrayal.

So, for now, instead “big ball went night night!”

[kaity--did]

Please understand when I say “removed the ball from the premises” I mean I popped it in a fit of exhausted confusion. I murdered the beach ball.

See I’ve lied to you all too and it was better this way.

[inkloom]

you can’t just leave this in the tags etc.

[kaity--did]

You can’t be funnier then me on my own posts, I’m in tears from laughter

[kleinergeist]

Oh, so when YOU grab a Danish for a quick snack, it's a guilt-free, tasty little treat. But when I, Grendel,

[moonachilles]

Jane Austen really said ‘I respect the “I can fix him” movement but that’s just not me. He’ll fix himself if knows what’s good for him’ and that’s why her works are still calling the shots today.

[nitewrighter]

Meanwhile Emily Brönte just said “We can make each other worse.” 

[theonlycabbage]

Mary Shelley said, "I can make him

[guerrillatech]

[coredumpproject]

I accidentally described some Open Source stuff I was working on as 'In my real life' in a work meeting yesterday.

[hussyknee]

The most basic, intractable fact about mental illnesses is that you simply cannot willpower your way out of them. The only exceptions to this rule are the ones I have, which continue to disable me due to lack of determination and other grave personal flaws

[markovchaingang]

my lord. the two statues you commissioned are finally complete. yeah, the double-order with the vast and trunkless legs of stone and the shattered visage. i like to think we captured the sneer of cold command pretty well. it's a really thought-provoking piece my lord. very deconstructionist. i'm sure that even a traveller a thousand years from now could take one look at it and instantly recognise it must have come from an artistically enlightened culture

[transparentgentlemenmarker]

Les dances à travers le monde

[anak1n]

no rest for me and im not even that wicked ?

[hymneminium]

You know how it is with dichotomies

[mereologic]

it depends

[cryptotheism]

Or it doesn't

[stormsbourne]

one day it'll happen to you. you will stay up a bit too late playing a video game and not get to bed on time. I've done it before, you'll think. I'll be fine. but no. you will make it through most of the next day and then at about 2pm you will feel like a reanimated corpse whose sim meters are all completely fucked and nothing hurts exactly but everything does feel very bad. and you'll think oh yeah. I'm not twenty anymore

[nyanletnest]

[fantasyseventeen]

@waningcroissantmoon

[beardedmrbean]

this sounds like a party to me

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

[penandinkprincess]

listen i'm not advocating for exotic animals as pets, but i really just feel like cheetahs are probably different

i feel like we need to give them another shot as housebeasts

[penandinkprincess]

this is a critter who wants greenies and then to take a nap on the couch next to me, and i KNOW it

[penandinkprincess]

cheetah in House perfec t size for put inside! inside very Soft and Comfort cheetah sleep soundly put cheetah in House. Put Cheetah In House. no problems ever in cheetah in ho use because good Happy and Satisfy for human where sleep. House yes a place for a cheetah put cheetah in house can trust cheetah for giveing good love to humans in house. friend cheetah

[justasmidgx]

I mean, as someone who as worked in a zoo, this is fairly true.

Obvious disclaimer that you shouldn't have wild animals as pets.

But like, cheetahs are the only large cats that keepers will do free contact with. Hell, even most small cats don't get free contact. (Because small cats can be VICIOUS. They'll have a baby pallas cat wearing thicker gloves than when handling an owl. Because small cats can just be vicious.)

Like I think the only other cat at our zoo where I've seen free contact with was servals? Because I know they've used servals in shows to demonstrate their natural jumping ability. But I know servals can sometimes have a mean temper as well. Meanwhile they'll do the cheetah run and afterwards put the mic by the cheetahs and it's just like an engine with them purring. It's fascinating to watch when the message in every other large animal is "no free contact because it's dangerous even when they're born in captivity".

Legit if any wild animal could be adapted to a pet it would be cheetahs lmao. Only problem is they can be skittish and very anxious and that's why they're often raised around dogs in zoos to gain confidence.

[penandinkprincess]

congrats, i award you funniest take on this post

[pawsitivevibe]

I entered a contest recently where you had to compose a limerick about your dog to match a photo. I am very much not a poet. But here's our silly poem because it's kind of funny:

Whenever I'm missing a sock

Its hiding spot's never a shock

I know just where to look

For in my home lives a crook

And he parades his loot just to mock

[unapologetic-autie]

Executive dysfunction in a nutshell

[clytemnestraaa]

i feel. like on a fundamental level. i do not understand x reader fic. i am not exactly opposed to it because let a thousand blossoms bloom etc. but like. i genuinely don’t get it. it seems like the exact opposite of how i engage with fiction. like the whole point is that i’m not in there. i don’t wanna be in there. if i’m in there it’s going to be very stressful.

[anxietyproblem]