A Door on Other Time

Title is from Tolkien's "On Fairy Stories". Handle means "storyteller" in Nahuatl. This'll mostly be about pop culture, linguistics, philosophy, history, and other things that interest me, but also about writing.

[tlaquetzqui]

[gremlininho]

let me. innnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

[weather-n-calamity]

[ms-demeanor]

I am a glorified office administrator who understands server hardware why am I the only person in this company who gets what social engineering is?

[ms-demeanor]

Total stranger on the phone who we’ve never spoken to before: I have power of attorney over the CEO of this corporation and we are a customer of yours. Please change the administrator password on the server to XXXXX

My boss, putting on white grease paint and a red wig: Oh, of course! Let’s do it quickly so that you’ll want to keep working with us since you’re going to be making business decisions!

Me: I would sell you to satan for one corn chip and I’m allergic to corn but before you do this maybe you should call someone who is actually on our contact list for our customer and see if they’ve ever heard of this stranger.

My boss, looking through a selection of shoes that honk when you walk: Oh, but she said that it was very important that none of the employees know what was happening because they’re making staffing changes.

Me: As your lawyer I recommend that you just call a single one of our contacts and see if they’ve ever heard of her name.

My boss, shoving all of our technicians into a VW beetle: You’re not my lawyer.

Me: HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU KNOW? I COULD BE! YOU SHOULD MAYBE CHECK ON THAT.

[yoursjupiter]

TIL everyone’s employee ID at my company is the last five of their SSN.

Boss: On the bright side, it’s only the last five

Me: YOU CAN COMMIT FRAUD WITH FOUR

[zevveli]

Security firms that are hired to check the security of banks will often use the following tactic: They will walk up to the teller in a suit with their ID badge and a clipboard and go:

“Hello I am [name] from [security firm] we’ve been hired to verify the security of the facility I need to see your computers.”

“Erm…I’ll have to verify that with my managers.”

“Congratulations, you have just passed the security verification.” [Scribbles on clipboard] “But in all seriousness I do need to verify your security so I need to see your computers.”

“Oh okay.” AND LETS THEM IN.

[palindromordnilap-deactivated20]

“Social engineering” is a way too fancy word for what it is. I know a guy (not personally) who broke several people out of prison by essentially writing “Greetings, please release this person, signed, whoever the judge is” on a piece of paper and faxing it there. Because no one would have a fax machine in their own house I guess.

[closet-keys]

not to derail, but holy shit that praxis

[cal-is-a-cuddlefish]

I’ve had clerks just give out a whole ass SSN when I asked.

[airandangels]

An inspection in 2014 found the password for the Louvre’s surveillance camera system was “louvre.”

[beardedmrbean]

[tlaquetzqui]

…Did it autocorrect “gato picture”?

[forthoutoffive]

Honestly I give pretty good odds that the cat is just named "Gator."

[tlaquetzqui]

Also a possibility, to be sure.

[levourdalak]

I dreamt that there was a new meme that went, “If I dids it, I dids it. If I didsn’t, I didsn’t.” There was a third line, but I forgot what it was.

[nifeandaccurate]

happy to report i’m back on my bullshit

and a rare variant

[levourdalak]

HOW DID YOU KNOW THEY WERE CAT MEMES IN MY DREAM

[nifeandaccurate]

>:3€

[levourdalak]

THAT’S IT, THAT’S THE MEME FROM MY DREAM

[beardedmrbean]

[tlaquetzqui]

…Did it autocorrect “gato picture”?

[modernbritain]

[ranty-mc-rantface]

Isn't it interesting that, while we've heard the completely whackjob "abolish all police, empty all prisons" stance a hundred times over, we've never once heard what these people plan to do with violent criminals?

Like obviously, we all know the reason is that they are all completely delusional and think that they live in a world where crime simply wouldn't happen if everyone held hands and everything was free, but like... I really, honestly, truly want to hear what they think will happen to violent rapists, murderers, terrorists. I've just never heard it.

That and, I'm pretty sure you could bluescreen one of these types if you ask them what they think about Trump. How do you accuse someone of being a felon who deserves to be in jail if you don't believe in policing or jail? But you just know they also hold that belief with no consideration whatsoever as to how it contradicts.

[featuringdantefromnocturne]

the quiet part they never say out loud is that they want to bring back the concept of ostracism in terms of exile, outlawing in terms of losing your rights, ability to hold property and people being able to do whatever they want as long as it's to an outlaw and to being back lynching

that, or they're so sheltered, privileged and naive that they genuinely can't comprehend that there are actual people out there that will commit crimes for a thrill, sexual gratification, because they don't like being told "no" and to bully others, from the shoplifter stealing a six pack when they have 400 dollars in their billfold to BTK style serial killers

or on the other OTHER hand, they do not actually remove the boot from the necks of society, they want to WEAR the boot

and I'm saying this as someone that's GENERALLY pro prison reform, mind you

[ranty-mc-rantface]

I've since watched a few podcasts & videos with people talking about this topic, and I think I have to agree with this take I've heard:

This "abolish prisons" opinion comes from the kind of intersectional feminist / wokeist / generally leftist belief that all crime is caused directly (and, most importantly, solely) by a lack of resources, by poverty, by being in a situation where you have less positive opportunities. That every single criminal on the planet is a victim of something, and was driven to do what they did for some reason or another. If they're a thief, or they got a parking ticket, well, they're in poverty and the system keeps them poor, so they aren't to blame. If they rape or murder, well clearly it's mental illness, and this could have been avoided if they had access to medical help.

With this line of thinking, no criminal ever really has agency, and can never fully be held responsible for their crime, and we can stop crime from happening by simply embracing "real" communism and ensuring that everyone has a house and food and therapy for free forever. Simple as that.

[oneheadtoanother]

[aardvarkingmad]

It's the gas station you stop at on your way to The Cabin In The Woods (tm).

[tlaquetzqui]

It actually refers to how Exxon, originally Esso, first got big by purchasing a method for converting coal into petroleum from former Imperial German military engineers, after World War One. The dark past comes from their wealth being built upon Prussian tyranny.

[ingridverse]

Frozen: After years of longing I am finally reunited with my sister whom I love.

Frozen II: Bye.

Wreck-It Ralph: After years of abuse and neglect I've made a friend who admires and respects me.

Ralph Breaks The Internet: Bye.

Lilo and Stitch: After years of struggle and trauma I've made friends who admire and respect me and I can stay united with my sister whom I love.

Lilo and Stitch (2025): Bye.

Disney, do you have something you need to talk about? Any issues? Anything at all?

[azzy-the-christian-furry-deacti]

Todd Howard and the absent father trope.

Kind of sad, really

[arcenciel-par-une-larme]

Cars: Nobody should have to give up on his dreams and talents because some have deemed him old, replaceable, or irrelevant. The king has to finish his last race. Cars III: Bye. Toy Story I/II/III: It doesn't matter how much we're played with, what matters is that we're here for our kid when he needs us, and that we will always have each other. Friendship and loyalty are such a central theme to our story that we've made an entire song about it. Toy Story IV: Bye.

[sawbuckplus]

[dryiffsrevitalizingtailholetonic]

The full story is worse:

The rapist was convicted in 2005 and ordered to be deported in 2006. His defense was that it was just a cultural misunderstanding--in Thailand child rape is a normal, healthy thing. The victim and her family agree, and they all wrote letters in support of her child rapist remaining in America.

But now he knows raping kids is not something he is allowed to do in America and for this simple misunderstanding (that the victim is totally ok with now) he was indeed finally deported by ICE this month.

Honestly this is the sort of thing a healthy cultural exchange can prevent. As we finally become more diverse we're going to be experiencing culture for the first time and the transition won't be comfortable...but it is very necessary.

[barryogg]

So, let me preface by saying that Trump is, in fact, bad. He's an impulsive egocentric, largely unfit for the responsibilities of his office, he makes tons of short-sighted unforced errors and so on and so forth.

And yet, every piece of information about Minnesota I've read in the past two years has convinced me that America dodged one hell of a bullet with Waltz.

[brazenautomaton]

I was ready to say this was deceptively framed or made up, but nope, seems accurate?

From what I can tell, he pled out on the charges to avoid jail time since he was 18 at the time. He was ordered to be deported but Laos didn't have a formal repatriation agreement so... they just didn't? Like, Laos said "we don't accept deportees" and America said "oh, okay" and glumly kicked a rock. That's bonkers that they can just decide not to take their citizens back. And somehow Laos was the one who could decide to do that even though he was born in Thailand to Hmong Laotian parents. I don't know if some of these sources are wrong.

Walz's defenders say that he didn't commit any more crimes afterwards, which I don't find trustworthy, and both they and Vang said he shouldn't be deported because it would ruin the life he's built in America that he knew he shouldn't have been able to because he was supposed to be deported in 2006. I Do Not Like the argument of "well we refused to do what we were supposed to do, so now it's bad if you do it." He admitted to everything, he did it repeatedly over 2 years, he said at the time that it was okay that he molested a 10 year old because in Thailand girls can get married at 12, and said she should be charged too. The fact that he married his victim's sister instantly makes this all much worse, totally discredits her "forgiveness," and makes me distrust the idea that he was "rehabilitated" even more. He literally never faced any consequences for his crime and was clearly in a family and/or community that protected him. The decision to just put him on probation instead of facing any jail time is already awful and corrupt and can't represent anything but a community covering for an abuser.

Then Walz pardoned him so he wouldn't be deported even though he should have been deported in 2006. And he lied about it, claiming it had nothing to do with deportation and he'd never pardon someone just to stop them from being deported, until Vang was deported and he said "you can't do that I pardoned him, how is it keeping anyone safe to deport this guy like we were supposed to for the past 20 years, he built a life in this community that protected and enabled his abuse."

We dodged a bullet with Walz even though it was us dodging into a different bullet with Trump. Minnesota's state government really appears to be the straw man the right paints it as.

Also there's a doctor of family medicine in MN named Tou Sue Vang who is probably not having a great time of it.

[tlaquetzqui]

In Thailand this rich kid deliberately ran a woman over, and got a slap on the wrist. His family paid people to protest over even that much. Like in case you need a baseline for how fucked up Thailand is.

[lemonsweet]

Well boy ain't I the golden mole

[nonenosome2]

Awwww. He's got dirt on his face.

[tlaquetzqui]

They swim in sand like tiny sharks and make a shape as they move through it like a tiny adorable Shai Hulud, the Great Worm of Arrakis.

[gsirvitor]

Teen shot another teen outside a co-op near me, and the board that runs it released a statement, the entire statement sums up to this;

"We know who did this, we know everyone saw who did this, but stop talking about it, you are spreading very dangerous misinformation."

Which immediately made me think of the Norm MacDonald joke;

[hymnsofheresy]

i just woke up from a dream where i was being interrogated by a bunch of people asking me if “furbies are kosher” firstly…. im not jewish. secondly……..what the fuck

[hymnsofheresy]

please stop sending me asks pertaining to the kosher status of furbies. i really do not know. this was just a manifestation of my subconscious. im assuming that they are not kosher because furbies aren’t even food. but who knows! ask a rabbi, if you must. 

[natashatroyka-deactivated201902]

Jew here! Furbies are actually worse than unkosher–they are not permissible as food, even for gentiles. This is because the Torah teaches that it is forbidden for any human to eat the meat of an animal that is still alive, and the Furby cannot die.

[hymnsofheresy]

hi this is the most ominous description of a furby i have ever heard

[tlaquetzqui]

Also even if they could die, they walk upon the earth and neither have cloven hooves nor chew cud. So they’re not kosher.

It’s really only ever complicated with bugs and birds, with fish and land vertebrates it’s pretty straightforward. “Scales and visible fins” for fish; “cloven hooves, chews cud” for land vertebrates. Otherwise it’s not kosher.

[jabutipiranga]

HE CUT THE NOBODY TRICK?!

[mainelysyd]

[thelastpilot]

Sick ass adventure wizard investigates native crustacean with his supportive but easily spooked familiar 

[tlaquetzqui]

That’s how the evasion class feature works, homes.