far from crete

moo moo. im benny belmont.🐮 i work at city hall 🤙🤠

[farfromcrete]

its not even hot out tho hey? its like monty burns blocked out the sun but like opposite of that . turned on the led.

[mrkanman]

king minos: get this monster out of my sight!! put it in a labryinth so i never have to look at it again!! gods holy fuck!!!

the minotaur, born like a day ago:

[farfromcrete]

[[ Well the night was successful. He left the place knowing more people than he did before he went in. Maybe they'll even be friends eventually. He still only has that one friend he wrote those scant few letters to. And that's one-sided as fuck... he still doesn't know what she looks like. Bit like an internet ship-in-the-night actually.

He flops upside down on his couch, feet craned up the wall-- just like he used to do as a child-- and pulls out his phone. Without adding any numbers, because he never got them (smart Benny), he adds the following contacts:

Bottle Blonde Dima 😉 Southern Vet 🐾 Short King Open Shirt 🌶️ Woman...(Irish?)

Yeah. Woman. What else was he meant to put? She didn't give him a name, at least not one he can remember. He can't even look her up. This City is huge. Ugh. He instead opts for jumping on tumblr and posts the following craigslist-like missed connection and hopes for the best: ]]

girl @ the party that asked if my cowhead was real - m4w @selkiemcbride

i was just there tryna make friends and u walked up and gave me a pat without asking. u were cool. grey eyes. sounded a bit irish or some shit. kinda wet looking hair. missed ur name though. hmu. think we could be friends.

[fastsatisfactions]

actually birds wouldn’t need a gun they already come with weapons installed

[fastsatisfactions]

[feralities]

ye know what would be even better

[sentada]

americans be eating cheesed burger

[farfromcrete]

can city hall stop changing its fuckin everything around? everyday its smth new. this is not the kind of spicy i want in me life.

[farfromcrete]

Benny. Letter to Moire #2

[farfromcrete]

Benny. Reply Letter to Moire #1

[stimman4000]

.

[farfromcrete]

fastsatisfactions replied to your post: fastsatisfactions replied to your post “okay okay...

fair but i’m castin fireball in your direction

not even offerin to take me out for a drink first smh 

[farfromcrete]

fastsatisfactions replied to your post “okay okay so last week it was doors goin missin and this week am havin...”

tmi

sounds like a you problem

mulch-and-more replied to your post “okay okay so last week it was doors goin missin and this week am havin...”

at least you have a nose, ive been sweeping settling spores for hours

ill be level with ya i dont know what this means mate 

[farfromcrete]

okay okay so last week it was doors goin missin and this week am havin bloody allergies just fuckin schweet aye.

[sjdsjkdlskdas-deactivated202012]

bro do not make me think about two-headed calf by laura gilpin while i’m trying to pick up smoking hot babes 

[farfromcrete]

is every fuckin maccas drink machine in this fuckin city 

BROKE

[ripe]

happyhensandhighlands on ig

[farfromcrete]

wow literally none of you are normal except for the bloke that shares farm animal pictures

[nantucket-rescue-and-clinic]

thank you I think

[farfromcrete]

no worries mate!

[farfromcrete]

wow literally none of you are normal except for the bloke that shares farm animal pictures