On Target
Shame on you #target for putting me in an uncomfortable position. I was initially excited about my trip to your store today, because, apparently, no one is shopping there any longer, and that meant no congestion and short check outs for me. But, alas, the store was full, as always. I can only assume it was all the transgender people, waiting to prey on my girls and I. My trip through the store was pretty typical, new towels, a pair of sunglasses, I oohed and aahed over new arrivals, and admired some curtains, though I didn't buy them because I was unsure about the measurements. A lady complimented my bag, and I knew instantly she must be trans. But no apparent threat so we kept moving. We were almost ready to leave the store, and the unthinkable happened. Because we had sucked down our venti frappes whilst browsing the store, we had to pee. Panic set in. I know what goes on in the bathrooms at Target. I've seen the Facebook memes, people. So I immediately went into stealth mode, to ensure we left the restroom with virtues intact. I was about to announce our entrance to any weirdos lurking inside, instructing them to cover their junk, and then, face palm, I remembered all of the stalls have doors. We entered and I did a quick check to see if there were any suspicious looking shoes that would make me uncomfortable. All clear! As we were washing up to leave, a woman entered. Now. I can't be sure it was a female without a genital inspection, and I'm just not sure I'm prepared for that. I realize that this will, at some point, become the duty of hetero women, to keep us safe of course. But I'm not ready. She smiled and entered the stall. Okay, so now I'm really panicking. This IS NOT a drill people! That person could have a penis! How would we ever know? I accepted that it is my responsibility to keep myself and my girls safe. I considered entering the next stall, climbing onto the toilet and peeking over. You know, in the interest of decency. Face palm again. That would be violating her privacy and make me a pervert. I really don't want to be on the news for stalking people in the ladies room. So, I slinked out of the bathroom realizing the only trouble maker in there was me. The straight chick. I left thinking about those curtains, and how I need to come back after I measure my windows, but decided since you have put me in such an uncomfortable situation, and by you I mean my own imagination, I'll probably just order online. Oh. And it's Obama's fault too. Not sure why. Just seems appropriate to blame him. Peace. -Amy Harlow