Eddie was tired. drained. EXHAUSTED. He should have known that this was where he was going to end up the minute he allowed himself to even think of Mike as anything other than a friend. This was how it always turned out, wasn’t it? With Bill, with Richie. Eddie fell HARD and FAST for an IMPOSSIBLE boy, his overly-hopeful imagination convincing him that the other might have feelings for him as well.
That’s probably what happened, Mike had said something a little too friendly and Eddie took it the wrong way. It was all Eddie’s fault. Here he was, about to lose a dear friend and the only one that could have stopped it was himself.
“ I’ve got it wrong, huh? Yeah, you’re probably right. “ I thought we were going to be different but I guess I WAS wrong. Eddie’s shoulders sank, his whole posture deflated, DEFEATED. He didn’t want to be angry any more. He was sorry. Sorry that he couldn’t help his hopeless heart from feeling every emotion so fully and completely.
He tore his gaze away from the other boy, looking at him just took to much energy. “ You know, Mike.. I don’t think I want anything from you anymore. I wanted.. I wanted MORE than this, ” he gestured at the space between the two of them, “ and I thought you did too, but “ with a deep breath and a shake of his head he continued, “ I’m just tired. “
HE STARES IN CONFUSION AND HELPLESSNESS, listening to the boy, seeing the DISTRESS
across his face —— it HURTS. every bone in his fragile body screams SHIT !! until 2 MINUETS AGO, he hadn’t even been sure that eddie had even THOUGHT of him that way. and now, he can feel
himself IMPLODING. you idiot. you I D I O T.
❛ wait ——- EDDIE, I ——- ❜
he doesn’t know what to say; OR HOW TO SAY IT. though options S W I R L in the forefront
of his mind as he GAPES in silence and BEWILDERMENT.
since when ?? why didn’t you tell me ?? how can you say that ??
i like you too.
fuck. he can’t SPEAK. for the first time in his life, michael wheeler has PHYSICALLY LOST the
ability to use his voice box. it is DISABLED, and he knows if he tried to speak, IT WOULDN’T LET HIM. his heart aches with desperation at way he shifts his gaze, as if he’s GIVEN UP, the words he says echoing around as they STING his soul. i don’t think i want anything from you anymore. ouch. don’t do this.
an exasperated breath is the only thing that sounds from him —— he doesn’t want to LOSE eddie;
he can’t bare the thought of him SLIPPING from his grasp. so before he can THINK about it, he steps forward, long arms outstretched. slender fingers GRIP the smaller boy’s shoulders, tugging him closer
so they can MEET IN THE MIDDLE. he doesn’t LOOK at him. HE’S SCARED TO. but it happens
so quickly —— and before he can STOP HIMSELF, he presses his mouth against eddie’s own,
letting his ACTIONS speak for themselves.
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