better luck next time

The name's Skylar Roman, former vice president of Vahn Incorporated. You know, the company that went belly under in the good old economic depression? It was all over the papers. That was a spell of bad luck. My luck only got worse, I knew I shouldn't have walked under that ladder. I'll be staying in the Inn until my luck changes.

[chip-hunter]

This place hasn’t been this quiet for years, where are everyone hiding?

[fatelocked-blog]

We're all avoiding the monsters, babe, or haven't you heard?

[serpentiium-archive]

Ok.

[serpentiium-archive]

Practicality? Don’t you think this whole situation is a little impractical? 

Screw practicality; it’s no fun anyway. Secrets, though. Those are fun.

[fatelocked-blog]

Well when you've been stuck here as long as I have you start to blur the definition of practical.

You like secrets? Good for you because this place is full of them. Too many secrets probably. Not enough answers.

[jenniferjeankills-blog]

The Bitch Came Back

[jenniferjeankills-blog]

Not on your life loser.

[fatelocked-blog]

Relax, sweetheart, I was only joking around. I flirt with everyone. Women, men, everyone. It's just fun for me. It's not like I've got anything better to do with my time.

[serpentiium-archive]

Ok.

[serpentiium-archive]

I’ll kick you a few more times. Why thank ya. 

But say, hypothetically, I am stuck here. How the hell would I go about fixing that?

[fatelocked-blog]

There's no way to fix it. No way out, not as far as we know. I mean, maybe there's a secret way out that none of us have found yet, but speaking practically, there's no way out.

[fatelocked-blog]

[open to skylar's team, convo] &&_we're all fucked

[psychickitten]

Yeah! Why can’t we go to that great big armory you’ve got in your room?

[fatelocked-blog]

Guys! Guys... Holy fuck, did you see that thing? It nearly tore me to shreds!

[jenniferjeankills-blog]

The Bitch Came Back

[jenniferjeankills-blog]

I’m really not interested unless your dick can magically teleport us out of here.

[fatelocked-blog]

Do you want to find out if my dick is capable of magic?

[serpentiium-archive]

Ok.

[serpentiium-archive]

…watch it, bucko.

[Huffing, she walked over to the door and jiggled the knob pointedly. Then, out of frustration, she landed a well-aimed kick to the wood.]

[fatelocked-blog]

Good job so far! Keep trying. I'm sure you'll get out if you kick it a few more times.

[serpentiium-archive]

Ok.

[serpentiium-archive]

[fatelocked-blog]

What's the matter, cat got your tongue? Just leave already.

[serpentiium-archive]

Ok.

[serpentiium-archive]

Yeah, that’s it.

Yes, clearly. Which is why I need to get out. ASAP.

[fatelocked-blog]

Well, if you want to get out so badly, why don't you just leave? The door's right there. I'm sure if you jiggle the knob a little bit you'll be able to get out just fine.

[serpentiium-archive]

Ok.

[serpentiium-archive]

Let’s just say I don’t walk the straightest of paths. If you catch my drift.

…Wow. Sounds like a pretty morbid party.

[fatelocked-blog]

Oh? Oh... Oh. Oh, I get it. Explains how you can resist this.

Yeah, this place sucks. You waltzed into the wrong haunted house of horrors, sweetheart.

[serpentiium-archive]

Ok.

[serpentiium-archive]

Trust me - I am so good. You’re not my type, anyway.

Because it would be much too easy. Nah, I’ll wait it out a bit.

Alright, so what’s to do around here that hasn’t got to do with…whatever…here…is?

[fatelocked-blog]

Not your type? What is your type, pray tell?

Ha. Not much, unless you like fighting other people for supplies, running from monsters, and dying horribly.

[serpentiium-archive]

Ok.

[serpentiium-archive]

Mm, alright dude. Too much info. No me gusta nada.

Ooh, what’s really in the basement? Jackson and Kris lurkin’ in the shadows? I might go down there just to give them a puff of smoke in the face. Little imps, leaving me here. Goddamn it.

[fatelocked-blog]

Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it, m'kay?

I really don't even know who these people are but sure... If you think your friends are in the basement waiting to scare you, why don't you go say 'hi' to them?

[serpentiium-archive]

Ok.

[serpentiium-archive]

…Ok, I believe the corporate mogul thing. No one else has that big of a head on ‘em. 

That was a total musical reference, you big fat liar.

Look. I need proof. Viable evidence that screams “hoodoo voodoo” right in my face. And a locked door does not count for anything.

[fatelocked-blog]

My head's not the only thing that's big, baby.

If you're really looking for hoodoo voodoo, how about you go into the basement? I'm sure some ghosts would be happy to show you around. They love it down there where it's dark and spooky.

[serpentiium-archive]

Ok.

[serpentiium-archive]

Alec De Luca. Skylar definitely sounds like an artsy name, dude. Don’t lie.

A little bit, a lotta bit. Same difference. Hoodoo voodoo, though. That’s…interesting. Lots of research went into this, I see. I need to remember to give him a hard slap on the back. Then again, he never was much of a history buff…

[fatelocked-blog]

Listen, I'm not the thespian you think I am. I'm a corporate mogul. Former vice president of Vahn Inc. before it went under. I know next to nothing about acting. 

Face it, Alec, you're just one of us poor unfortunate souls now. It's an unlucky turn of events, but hey, on the bright side you're trapped with me and all my charms and good looks.

[serpentiium-archive]

Ok.

[serpentiium-archive]

Excuse me? Come twice? Did you just…

Wow, I had no idea Jackson had friends in the Arts department other than me. What’s your name, bucko? You’re pretty dang talented. Who’re you calling kiddo?

[fatelocked-blog]

I'm Skylar Roman. You?

While I am talented in many areas, I'm not acting. I'm not even making shit up. Well, that's not entirely true, I may be making a little bit of shit up. I don't actually know for sure what's going on here, I just know it's a lot of hoodoo voodoo nonsense.

[serpentiium-archive]

Ok.

This prank? Yeah, it’s hilarious. Y’got me.

See? I’m laughing because it’s just that funny. Now, will someone please let me out of this goddamn building?

[fatelocked-blog]

Ahhh haha, you think this is a prank. Okay, time to explain everything to yet another pretty girl who got stuck here...

Basically, the deal is you can't leave the property. Why? Because ghosts, demons, and unholy godlike deities from the underground say so or something like that. Yeah, it sounds like I'm joking, but try to leave. Doesn't work. You're stuck here, kiddo!

[jenniferjeankills-blog]

The Bitch Came Back

[jenniferjeankills-blog]

Great. I didn’t think I would ever walk straight into a horror movie but here I fucking am.

[fatelocked-blog]

I always hate to be the one to break the bad news because it makes me seem like a bad guy. But don't shoot the messenger, sweetheart! I think you and I will get along great.