Sorry Iâve been absent for a bit, had a very busy week this week. But the stories are all slowly being worked on, so hopefully a new post of something is out soon!
Summary: You left Lehigh three years ago when you found out your girlfriend was pregnant. You thought the two of you were going to start a new life together, try and work through all the craziness. But then she disappeared one night and you couldnât afford the house all on your own. So you decided to move back home. But what you didnât expect was to run in with Gator at the diner, and you definitely didnât expect your daughter to fall in love with him.
Gator x Single!Dad Reader Drabbles Masterlist
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Gator had finally brought his truck around after weeks of telling you he would. It turned out he was pretty useless when it came to fixing vehicles and was just standing aside as you worked. Bonnie was sitting on the ground beside you, happily handing you the tools when you asked. She always loved lending you a hand.
The damage to his truck was pretty extensive. You thought it would just be some sort of quick fix, but here you were, an hour later, and you still kept finding problems.
âWhat the hell even happened to this thing?â You asked, curious as to what couldâve beaten his truck down so bad. Gator used to take great care of it, always taking it into the shop.
âI just havenât had much time or money to get it fixed.â Gator said, a bit sheepishly. âYaâ know, after everything that happened and all.â
You just nodded in understanding. Gator still wouldnât tell you the exact details of what went down on the ranch last year, but it was clearly still affecting him. Whatever happened had to have been really bad if it meant Gator had completely cut contact with Roy, if he had lent a hand to the FBI in detaining him.
You pushed the thoughts aside as you went back to work. You turned to your right to ask Bonnie for another tool when you saw her attention had been pulled elsewhere, her eyes wide and mouth agape as she watched something across the lawn. You followed her gaze until you spotted a small frog sitting over in the tall grass. God, you really needed to buy a mower.
âFroggy!â Bonnie squealed as she pushed herself to her feet and started running over.
âDonât run off, sweetie!â You called after her, the frog jumping a bit as she got close.
âGuess yaâ lost your helper.â Gator laughed and you turned to see him watching Bonnie with a fond smile.
âHand me that.â You pointed at one of the tools on the ground and Gator reached down and handed it to you without a word, eyes flickering back to Bonnie every few seconds as you worked.
âHow long yaâ been a mechanic?â Gator asked.
âSince I left.â You shrugged. âI knew a lot from helpinâ my dad.â
Gator hummed in response. âDo yaâ like it?â
âYeah.â You smiled. âI like workinâ with my hands. Do yaâ like beinâ a cop?â
âYeah.â Gator said, but it didnât sound very convincing. âI mean, I guess I used to like the power. Now I like the helpinâ people part.â
âWell, thatâs good.â You reached out and nudged his arm, earning a shy smile from him.
Gator had steadily gotten more comfortable showing his emotions around you. Specifically his happiness. And it made you glad to know that he was really starting to change. That he wasnât stuck in the authoritative mindset of Roy and could actually do some good in this town. That maybe he could make up for the sins of his father.
Gator started to laugh and you followed his gaze back over to Bonnie. She was laughing away to herself across the yard, hopping along right next to the frog every time it jumped. It was adorable. She always loved animals, all kinds.
âSheâs a great kid.â Gator smiled and then turned back to you. âTakes after her dad.â
âYeah, right.â You rolled your eyes with a laugh. âDid yaâ forget the time I snuck into the principalâs office and changed your grades?â
Gator laughed, genuinely, openly. âThanks for that, by the way. Saved me a lot of trouble.â
âAnd got me into it.â You huffed. âHad detention for a week. But they never found out what I did.â
âSo thatâs why my grades stayed good.â Gator mused.
âWell, I couldnât give yaâ up.â You placed a joking hand on your heart. âThieves honor.â
âHonor among thieves, yaâ mean.â Gator corrected.
âSame difference.â You shrugged.
Gator continued smiling, but turned smaller, softer, a bit shy. âHey, um⊠I was wonderinâ if, yaâ know, I donât know, if yaâ wanted to get dinner some time?â
âOh.â You said, your smile fading a bit from shock. Did he mean a dinner, dinner? Or did he just mean dinner? âI donât know, Gator. I mean, with Bonnie and all. I donât have a sitter or anything.â
âNo, yeah, yeah, right.â Gator stumbled over his words. âI mean, I could, I donât know, I could ask some guys at the station if they know anybody. A lot of âem got kids.â His eyes dropped to your chest, his fingers fiddling with the denim on his thighs. âAnd, yaâ know, itâs just dinner. If thatâs what you want.â He mumbled the last part, as if unsure he should say it.
You looked over at Bonnie, now chasing the frog around, arms outstretched as she tried to grab it. Did you want to go to dinner with Gator? And did you want it to be just dinner, or something more? It sounded like thatâs what Gator was hoping for, and you couldnât say you were totally opposed to the idea. But you really didnât have anyone to watch Bonnie while you were gone, having just signed her up for pre-school and having to pay more for the summer classes. But Gator did just say he would ask around about a sitter, and you did really need one. Dinner or no dinner.
You opened your mouth, still not sure what your answer was, but you didnât even get the chance to make a sound before Bonnie came running back over, the frog now held between her little hands, giggling happily to herself.
âGator! Gator! Look!â Bonnie squealed as she ran over, hands held out as she stopped in front of Gator. âI got the froggy!â
âWell, would yaâ look at that.â Gator mused as he knelt down in front of her. âYaâ know, I actually have a pet gecko.â
Bonnieâs face lit up even more. âWhatâs his name?â
âHis nameâs Danger.â Gator smiled and you almost laughed from the silly name. âI got him when I was eight.â
âDaddy! Daddy!â Bonnie turned to you. âCan we get a pet gecko?â
âI donât know, sweetie.â You said gently, placing a hand on the back of her head, and she started frowning. âMaybe when youâre older.â
âOkay.â Bonnie said dejectedly, toddling back off with the frog, a small, happy squeal leaving her lips as the frog tried to jump from her hands.
You turned back to Gator who was still kneeling on the ground as he watched Bonnie walk off. He was always so good with her, and she loved him. He helped you out a lot, watching her whenever you had to work on the weekend. He really was a changed man.
âHey, Gator?â You said quietly.
âYeah?â Gator said, slowly rising back to his feet.
You smiled at him. âDinner sounds nice.â
Gator started smiling again, the one that showed off his dimples. And then the two of you were interrupted by a little scream and you both instantly whipped around to see as the frog leaped from Bonnieâs hand and she went chasing back after it again.
Summary: It had been two months since you closed the gate, and one since you and Steve broke up. Neither of you had taken it well, couldnât even figure out why it happened. You missed him badly, and when Billy showed up to distract you from your heartbreak you didnât realize just how violent he could really be.
TW: dark!billy, abuse, non-con kissing and non-con touching, assault, general violence
Summary: It had been two months since you closed the gate, and one since you and Steve broke up. Neither of you had taken it well, couldnât even figure out why it happened. You missed him badly, and when Billy showed up to distract you from your heartbreak you didnât realize just how violent he could really be.
TW: dark!billy, abuse, non-con kissing and non-con touching
Story Masterlist
Male Characters Masterlist
You didnât mean to start dating Billy, you didnât even want to. But when you and Steve had called it quits you just didnât know what to do. You couldnât even remember why you had broken up, or why you had a fight in the first place. And then Billy just showed up one day, and despite what happened at the Byers house you were desperate for something, anything to distract you from the heartbreak.
Billy was never exactly nice, not even including him beating Steve unconscious. But he hadnât seemed that terrible at first, just wanting some stupid fling. You had seen the looks he had given you since the first day he showed up. The way his eyes would linger for a second too long, the way he would taunt Steve but keep his focus trained on you, the way he seemed to always show up wherever you were. It was a bit unnerving, and you shouldâve listened to your gut.
You were driving around with Billy in his car, the music blasting against your brain and his foot so far to the floor that you couldnât even read the speed limit signs. You were smoking your third cigarette of the hour, just trying to something to ease your nerves and make you forget about the burning grip on your thigh. It had been three weeks since this thing with Billy became official, and your ribs were still aching.
You had yelled at him the other day, just so fed up with his harsh words and bruising hands. You tried to end it, you tried to walk away and get the hell out of there, but Billy was always stronger than you. You had fought interdimensional monsters before, but you couldnât even handle some guy.
By the time you had gotten home that night you had been wheezing, each breath worse than the last as the bruises on your ribs steadily grew darker by the minute. You had hoped Steve wouldâve noticed your pain the next day, wouldâve seen the way you were hurting. But he barely even looked in your direction anymore. And that hurt worse than any hit Billy threw your way.
You had thought about calling Hop, knowing that he would help you even if you were dating a guy. Youâd faced too much shit together for him to ever turn a blind eye. But then what? The other officers find out youâre with a guy and then the news gets spread to the whole town. Gossip filtering in and out of homes like the plague until everyone deemed you some sick creep unworthy to be touched. At least the same would happen to Billy if you pressed charges. But you couldnât risk any of that getting out.
What you were most afraid of was what Billy might be doing Max. She had threatened him, sure. Stuck him with a needle and slammed Steveâs nail bat between his legs. But Billy didnât listen to violence. He did what he wanted when he wanted. So you had kept a close on her, and when you had become truly afraid that something had happened you had confronted Billy. It didnât end well, a bruised jaw and split lip, having to steal your motherâs makeup to hide the damage. But you made him promise never to touch her. Made a deal; you for her. So, at least she was safe.
Billy swerved around the corner and you made no move to stop yourself from sliding across the seat, hoping the action would take you towards the door and your thigh would slip form his grasp. But Billy just gripped you tighter and it felt like the noose had been thrown around your neck, pulling taut at your throat and sucking the air out.
You didnât even know where you were going, not that you ever did. Billy always parked the car in some secluded spot, by the quarry or Lovers Lake or anywhere with no buildings around. Somewhere where people couldnât hear the screams and you couldnât get out and run for help. He never went all the way with you, always kissing and touching and making everything feel wrong with his rough, possessive grip. But at least he never went further.
You missed the way Steve used to touch you, how soft and gentle and caring he was. How every kiss was filled with love and tenderness. You missed the way he used to hold you while you slept, you missed the way his hair felt between your fingers. You missed the stupid jokes and the laughter and the way he would chastise Dustin for getting the car dirty. You just missed him. You wanted to go back, apologize, make things right. But you didnât even know what you would be apologizing for. Was it something that you had said that forced you two apart? Or were you just not right for each other? But the way he would always smile at you and comfort you, the way he had saved your life on multiple occasions, how could you not be right for each other?
You could hear the tires screeching on top of gravel, could see the edge of the quarry lit up by the headlights in the darkness. And then the car came to a stop and you sucked in a shaky breath of smoke, letting it float all the way down and seep deep into your lungs. You used to smoke a lot, especially after dealing with the Demogorgon. But Steve had helped you cut back, helping you work your way towards quitting entirely. And then Billy showed up and you couldnât think of anything else except the sweet relief of toxic chemicals.
Billy didnât say a word as he turned to you, the hand on your thigh yanking you towards him, the other grabbing your cigarette and flicking it out the window. And then both of his hands were on you, and his lips, and you went pliant, letting him touch you in whatever way pleased him until he decided he had enough.
~~~~~
You were sitting in the back of the class, only half listening as the teacher droned on. Billy wasnât in this class with you, which gave you some chance to breathe. But you could still feel his burning touch on you, could still feel the aching in your ribs as the painkillers began to wear off.
Steve was seated a few seats down from you. He used to sit right next to you, always next to you. But the day after you broke up he up and moved a few seats over, and the three desks of distance between you felt like miles. He was right there, just a few feet away. You could just go to him, you could call him. You could do something that wasnât just sitting there and rotting away. Even if things never went back to how they were before, Steve would help you. You knew he would. But he couldnât win. He fought Billy before and he ended up with a swollen face and a concussion. If Steve fought Billy over this then you might just be sentencing him to death.
You glanced over at Steve out of habit, just wanting to look at his warmth even if you couldnât feel it. But when you looked, he looked right back. It was quick, a small, fleeting moment. But you recognized the sadness in his eyes, the slight drop of his lips. And then he turned towards the front again, eyes trained on the teacher and never once glancing over at you.
~~~~~
When lunch rolled around you snuck outside as quickly as you could before Billy could notice. If he saw you leaving then he would just follow you, track you down, drag you off to some secluded area, and touch you in all the ways you were trying to escape.
You walked over to the path that connected the high school and middle school, sitting down on one of the benches closest to the middle and hoping that the spot would keep Billy at bay if he decided to come looking for you. You had planted yourself right out in the open, if he tried anything here then students and teachers from both sides might notice, and Billy would never risk that.
You pulled out your cigarettes and lit one up, just staring out at the field ahead. A few students were milling about, but it was still too cold out for most of them, a thin layer of frost still covering the grass and the trees and sparkling slightly as the midday sun shone down. It was calm out there, peaceful. Until you heard footsteps approaching you from behind.
You turned around to the noise, wondering who would be crossing school lines right now when you saw a familiar head of curly hair covered in a baseball cap. Dustin started running when he saw you looking at him and he looked completely out of breath, not used to all the physical exertion.
âHey.â Dustin panted, hands on his hips as he doubled over beside you, trying to regain his lost breath. âIâm glad youâre here. Didnât wanna⊠go running around⊠inside.â
âWhy?â You asked cautiously. âYou shouldnât even be here.â
âI know.â Dustin rasped, putting up a finger as he took in a few deep breaths and plopped down on the bench beside you. You quickly put your cigarette out. âItâs just that Steveâs been acting weird the past few days, and I know you guys had some fight or something and youâre not talking right now, but I thought you might know whatâs wrong with him. I mean, he hasnât complained once about driving me around.â
Steve not complaining about being Dustinâs chauffeur? Yeah, thatâs definitely not like him. He loved Dustin, used to tell you all the time that heâd do just about anything Dustin told him to do. But he always complained about it. Always had to make it seem like such a big deal whenever Dustin wanted a ride to the arcade.
âThatâs weird.â Was all you said, not really wanting to think about Steve right now after he stopped looking at you in class.
âThatâs weird?â Dustin echoed incredulously. âHe complains about everything. Itâs, like, the only thing he knows how to do. Thereâs something wrong with him.â
You sighed. âI donât really care, Dustin.â
âWhat?â Dustin practically yelled. âYou two are best friends. And best friends stick by each other no matter what. What the hell happened?â
You wanted to tell Dustin what happened. You just wanted to tell someone something. Anything that could help you make sense of the situation. But even if you did tell Dustin, sure that he would never say anything, you couldnât say it here, at school, out in the open.
âI donât know.â You shrugged. âWe had a fight and we stopped talking.â
âWell, start talking.â Dustin demanded. âBecause Steve is not okay. He turned down a dinner invitation from my mom.â
âHe did?â You asked before you could stop yourself, your worry slipping through the cracks. Steve never turned down a free dinner from anyone, especially not the Hendersons.
âYeah, he did.â Dustin said sternly. âNow, would you go and see whatâs wrong?â
âI canât.â You said honestly. âHe doesnât wanna talk to me.â
âBullshit.â Dustin spat, making you jump a bit at his harsh tone. âOf course he wants to talk to you. Heâs been sulking for the past month.â
âSulking?â You repeated incredulously.
âJesus.â Dustin huffed. âYouâre both idiots. He never shuts up about how much he misses you.â
âHe misses me?â You asked, voice so quiet and filled with unshed grief that Dustinâs face softened a bit.
âYes.â Dustin confirmed. âAnd I swear, if you ever went missing I think he might just die.â The ringing of bells echoed from both sides of you. âShit.â Dustin hissed as he pushed himself up. âJust talk to him.â
Dustin took off down the path, doing his best to run as to not get into trouble, but he really just ended up jogging, still too out of breath. You were left on the bench, the sun seeming to shine just a little bit brighter and the cold air no longer biting as harshly at your face. Steve missed you? Steve actually missed you? You couldnât believe it, not after the month of silence from him. But Dustin didnât lie about this stuff, and Steve always told him things that you were the only other person allowed to know. Steve really did miss you. And, God, you really missed him too.
~~~~~
It had taken all afternoon to figure out what to do, how to get Steve alone to talk, and you figured that your best bet was to show up to his house unannounced. Even if he did miss you he might still hang up or lock the door. And you couldnât do anything at school with Billy always watching your every move. So you settled on biking over after school, waiting around your house for about an hour to be sure he was home before you left.
You grabbed your bike from the lawn and took off down the road, but you had barely even made it around the corner when you came face to face with Billyâs car. You grinded to a halt, breath catching in your throat as you caught sight of him, his arm resting on top of the steering wheel as he stared you down, a silent order for you to put down the bike and go with him. It didnât matter what you were doing, even if you were running errands for your mom you would still be forced into the car without any room for argument.
You slowly dismounted the bike and set it down on the side of the road, hoping no one would come along and steal while you were gone and make your bad day even worse. Billyâs eyes never left you as you got in the car, watching every little movement you made as you cautiously shut the door behind you.
Billy took off, going even faster than he had last night and hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white. He didnât say a word throughout the whole drive, but you could feel his rage steadily boiling with every passing second, the air between you thickening until you felt like you were choking on acid fog.
By the time you arrived at the quarry you could feel your heart beating in your ears as you tried to keep your breathing steady. You kept your eyes trained on the window ahead, too afraid to look over and risk making this situation worse.
âWhat the hell is wrong with you?â Billy demanded, finally breaking the tense silence.
âWhat?â You asked quietly, eyes flickering over to his hands that were still gripping tightly to the steering wheel, the leather practically squeaking under the pressure.
âLook at me when Iâm talking to you!â Billy shouted, hands slamming against the steering wheel and causing you flinch violently as you forced your eyes to focus on his face. âYou just go around looking at other guys all day?â He accused you, like you were some sort of criminal. âAnd Harrington of all people?â His tone lowered, eyes going dark. âThe fuck is wrong with you?â
What was wrong with you? For looking at Steve? This was why you were looking at him, because Steve would never yell at you, and he certainly would never lay a hand on you.
âThe fuck is wrong with you?!â You shouted right back with renewed vigor, your protectiveness of Steve rising its way to the surface.
Billyâs hand clamped down around your arm, his grip like iron and surely to leave a bruise as he yanked you in close. You could feel your fight draining from you as he stared you down, your breath hitching in your throat as your heart threatened to jump right out of your chest.
âDonât you fucking talk back to me.â Billy said darkly, voice dripping with venom as he yanked you closer, just an inch away. âI donât want you looking at Harrington again. You got that? Youâre mine now, and you do what I say.â
You do what he says. You didnât do what anybody says, ever. You went against Steve when you agreed to going to the tunnels with the kids. You forced Nancy and Jonathan to take you with them when they were trying to sneak out of the school to go kill the Demogorgon. You had even yelled at Hop a number of times, and not all of them had been Upside Down related. The only person you never argued with was Joyce, but, well, that was Joyce.
You threw up your free arm and planted it on Billyâs chest, pushing him back with both of your hands and managing to get his grip on you to loosen just enough to yank yourself free. You didnât waste any time in reaching for the door handle and pushing it open, practically throwing yourself out of the car to get away from him as quickly as possible. But Billy was quicker, shooting up out of the car in an instant as he turned to you, the Camaro now the only thing standing between you and him.
âDonât you fucking walk away from me!â Billy shouted, his voice echoing through the still night air and you wished that you wouldâve been in a more populated area, that someone, anyone would come walking by. âYou think you can just do whatever the hell you want?!â
âYou donât fucking own me!â You shouted back, a month full of pent of rage boiling over. âI can do whatever the hell I want! Youâre just a piece of shit who likes to beat on people!â
Billy started rounding the car, your words tipping right over the edge, too angry to even say anything back. You turned and ran, making a beeline right for the tree-line. If you could just get there then you would be able to disappear. Billy didnât know his way around the woods like you did.
Billy was right behind you, having come at you from the back side of the car, and he was fast, too fast. His hand clamped down around your arm, the force of the hold stopping you dead in your tracks and almost making you fall. And then his other arm wrapped around your middle as he started dragging you back towards the car.
âLet me go!â You shouted, terrified, trying to fight your way out of his hold, but he had your arms pinned. âLet me go! Help! Help!â
You kept screaming, feet kicking out uselessly against the gravel as Billy tightened his hold on you. You thought you might die, that Billy might take it too far. It wouldnât surprise you if he did. But the prospect of dying didnât scare you nearly as much as never seeing Steve again. You had faced down death one too many times to care about it anymore. All you wanted to do now was just tell Steve that you were sorry. Even if the fight hadnât been your fault you just wanted him to know that you still cared.
Billy slammed you up against the car, the metal frame digging right into your spine and tearing a small cry from your lips. Billyâs hands switched their hold on you, one of them fisting into the front of your shirt as the other raised into the air, and you didnât have the time or the space to duck out of the way before his fist was colliding right with your cheek and sending your head whipping to the side.
âYouâre a goddamn whore.â Billy spat. âAll you do is look at other guys all day. I wouldnât be surprised if you slept with half of the fucking school.â
âFuck you.â You spat right back. âI donât even want to be with you.â
Billyâs face darkened, twisting from anger into rage and his fist went flying again, landing right next to your eye and sending your head flying to the side again. You looked back to glare at him when his fist came raining down again, landing right on top of the previous two bruises and causing your head to spin a bit.
You looked back up slowly, afraid he was gonna throw yet another punch when you heard the sound of the car door opening and then he was shoving you back inside, practically throwing you down into the seat before slamming the door in your face. You could see him rounding the car, heading for the driverâs door, and you tried to push yourself up and reach for you own door again, to get out of there and at least try to make another run for it. But Billyâs door opened before you could even reach the handle, and he grabbed your arm, his iron grip spinning you around right as his fist collided with your face again.
You were completely disoriented now, four punches straight to your face making your vision blur slightly and your brain go hazy. You faintly wondered if this was how Steve felt while Billy had been beating him up at the Byers house. And then you heard the metallic click of the locks sliding into place and Billyâs hands were back on you, rough and demanding, and he grabbed your face, fingers digging right into the fresh bruises and pulling a small cry from you as his hungry lips crashed into yours.
~~~~~
You were sitting in your bed, having had to sneak in through your window as to not alert your parents and let them see the muddle of black and blue all across your face. Billy had never hit you so much in a noticeable place before, and now you didnât know how you were going to hide it. But were you going to hide it? You had your phone in your hand, fingers hovering over the buttons. You couldnât do it anymore, you didnât want to do anymore. But who were you gonna call? And what the hell were you even gonna say?
There was no way you could call any of the kids, wanting to keep them as far away from this mess as humanly possible. You could call Hop, heâd be at your house in an instant, taking your statement and preparing to arrest Billy right there and then. Or heâd just go and beat him up, leave him with a threat to stay away. But what would either of those options do except bring unwanted attention to the problem? Maybe you could call Joyce. Sheâd obviously call Hop right away, but she might be able to get him to calm down before he did something truly irrational. And sheâd give you the motherly love you needed without alerting your own mom. And she had probably dealt with the same thing when Lonnie was still around. But that right there, Lonnie, how could you drag her into your own shit after she just got over hers?
You started dialing before you could stop yourself, the number basically muscle memory now, not even having to look to know what you were typing. You could feel your heart practically jumping in your throat as the phone rang and rang and rang. And then it stopped.
Hello? Steveâs voice came through the speaker and just the sound had relief flooding through your body. You hadnât heard Steveâs voice aside from class in a month.
âSteve?â The sob tore through you before you could stop it, the sound of his voice, the memory and pain from earlier, from the past month, it was all too much and you just wanted Steve to hold you and tell you everything was gonna be okay. You wanted to just see him. It didnât matter if Billy found out, you just wanted Steve.
Summary: It surprised you the first time Gator had come by the library and asked you for a recommendation. But now it was a weekly occurrence, him stopping by to swap out his latest read with a new one. And you found yourself falling for him quite a bit, and, apparently, he had been feeling the same.
Male Characters Masterlist
Gator had been stopping by the library once a week for the past few months, and it had shocked you the first time he came in. You thought something was going on, that maybe you or one of your coworkers had done something to get on Royâs bad side. And then Gator asked for a book recommendation, and then he kept coming back, week after week. And you couldnât help but start to fall for him after seeing this hidden side of him.
The front door opened for the first time since you arrived that morning and you looked up to see who it was. It was Gator. Of course it was Gator. It was early on a Wednesday morning, the same time he came by every week, all dressed for work with a book in his hand as he approached you.
âHowâd yaâ like that one?â You asked as he stepped up to you, handing the book over so you could process the return.
âIt was good.â Gator said, a bit more nervously than he usually would.
Gator had been pretty gruff the first few times he stopped by, barely giving more than an acknowledging look as he made a beeline towards the shelves. It had probably taken him about half an hour of just walking around aimlessly to finally ask you for some help. You shouldâve offered it when he walked in, but you were too focused on the fact that he was there in the first place to even say more than a polite good morning.
It turned out that Gator really liked sci-fi books, something you wouldâve never thought he wouldâve been into. Well, you wouldnât have thought he wouldâve been such an avid reader to begin with. He liked the older books, more of the classics, and it had taken a few tries to figure that out. Now, he would walk right up to the desk and ask what you would recommend next.
âWhat dâyaâ got for me this week?â Gator asked, that nervous lilt still in his tone. It was odd for him to sound like that, even when you suspected something had happened with Roy.
âItâs called The Machine Stops.â You said as you picked the book up and handed it to him, having already picked it out and set it aside for him the other day. âItâs from 1909. Itâs about a dystopian story about humanity livinâ in underground cells and theyâre reliant on this thing called the âMachine.â And then the âMachineâ starts to fail and, well, the rest is spoilers.â
âCool.â Gator mused, a small smile on his lips as he checked out the book. That was another thing, his smile, his outward happiness. He was still pretty rough around the edges, but when it was just you and him in the morning he would let a small smile or two slip through.
âYaâ on patrol today?â You asked as you typed away at the computer.
âYeah.â Gator sighed. âItâs so fuckinâ boring.â
âWell, at least youâre not sittinâ in the same place.â You gave him a sympathetic smile. âAnd yaâ got somethinâ to read to pass the time.â
âYeah.â Gator shrugged and then his eyes fell to the desk. âI was wonderinâ if, um⊠I donât know, if yaâ wanted to get some food tonight? Yaâ know, after yaâ get off work and all.â
You just looked at him for a second. Gator wanted to get food with you? Tonight? Did this mean what you hoped it meant, or was he just being nice and trying to make a real friend? You knew Gator back in high school and he had never had any real friends before, partly because of his name and personality, and partly because everyone knew Roy didnât like his son fraternizing with people.
âYeah.â You eventually said. âYeah, we can get some food later. I get off work at nine.â
âOkay.â Gator nodded, eyes flickering back up to you. âI can meet yaâ here if yaâ want. The diner good?â
âYeah, thatâs fine.â You smiled, the prospect of this meal being more becoming more and more evident. âI like the diner.â
âCool.â Gator said, tripping over his words slightly and you found it cute. âCool, yeah, Iâll be here at nine then. Uh, thanks.â He held up the book and turned around, walking back out the door to go start his own shift, and you couldnât help the giddy feeling that stuck with you all day.
~~~~~
Gator had arrived five minutes to nine, changed out of his work clothes and no trucker hat on. You wished you wouldâve had some time to change, or just clean up a little bit, but it wasnât like you worked a strenuous job. All you did was sit at a desk or put books away all day.
What surprised you most was Gator offering to drive both of you to the diner. His wording that morning made it sound that me would meet you at the library and you would drive separately, but you were happy to find out that that was not what he meant. And he even closed the door for youâyou beat him to the punch by opening the door first.
The diner was pretty quiet by the time you got there, only a few guys who just got off work and a table of high school kids out for the night. You and Gator took the booth in the corner, a bit hidden away from the rest of the patrons. You didnât exactly know what to say, the only times you had ever spoken to Gator had been at the library, always just skirting by each other in school. It was a little weird, but, surprisingly, it wasnât awkward.
âDid yaâ start that book yet?â You asked, just trying to say something to get the conversation going.
âI got through about a chapter at lunch.â Gator shrugged. âItâs pretty good so far.â
âGood.â You laughed. âCause Iâve never actually read it before.â
âWhat?â Gator said, the hint of a smile forming on his face. âThen why the hell did yaâ recommend it to me?â
âCause yaâ like sci-fi.â You shrugged. âDonât worry, I did my research on it.â
âYaâ did research on it?â Gator asked, the slightest bit of real surprise lacing his words.
âWell, yeah.â You said, a bit embarrassed by admitting that you actually put a lot of thought into his recommendations. âYouâre, like, the only person that actually asks for recommendations. Actually, youâre really the only person that comes into the library besides kids and old people.â
âDamn.â Gator huffed what sounded suspiciously like a hidden laugh. âMust be pretty boring.â
âA little.â You admitted. âBut when itâs quiet I mostly just get to do what I want.â
âMust be nice.â Gator rolled his eyes, but you could tell it was clearly a joke.
âWell, you could stop by when youâre on patrol.â You offered, a bit more confident after seeing Gator actually starting to express himself. âI mean, if youâre not busy.â
âReally?â Gator asked, a bit shyly, and that threw you off for a second. âCause, I mean, Iâm just sittinâ in my car most of the day. Ainât even got a partner to talk to or somethinâ.â
âThen stop by.â You shrugged, doubling down on the offer cause you really did want to see more of him. âWe could have lunch or somethinâ.â
âOkay.â Gator nodded, a real smile starting to form. âYeah, okay, maybe Iâll stop by.â
The waitress walked over then, a bit on edge as she gripped tightly to her pen. âCan I get yaâ two started with somethinâ to drink?â
âIâll have a Coke.â Gator said and then looked over at you. âAnd Iâm ready to order if you are.â
âOh, yeah, thatâs fine, Iâm ready.â You shrugged.
âOkay, um, Iâll have the French toast.â Gator said as he looked back at the waitress and you couldnât help but laugh a little.
âIâm actually gonna do the same.â You laughed. âFrench toast and a Coke, please.â
âTwo French toasts and two Cokes.â The waitress repeated as she wrote down the order. âThat makes it easy.â
Once the waitress walked away Gator turned back to you, a real smile on his face. âFrench toast?â He asked. âYaâ didnât just get that cause I was gettinâ it, did yaâ?â
âNo.â You laughed and shook your head. âI always get the French toast when I come.â
âMe, too.â Gator said, a small but very real laugh leaving his lips. âMy dad doesnât like French toast, so itâs the only place I can get it.â
âWell, it is good French toast.â You agreed, being careful not to make a comment about Roy.
Conversation flowed easily between the two of you after that, sharing facts about yourselves, talking about things that happened in high school, you telling him how you ended up being a librarian. You even learned that Gator had a pet gecko, the only thing his dad would let him get after he begged for a dog. What he didnât say, and what you could clearly tell, was that Royâs no was a lot more than just a simple âno.â You also found out that Gator was a bit childish when it came to his food, practically drowning his French toast in butter and syrup.
~~~~~
It was almost midnight by the time you got back to the library to pick up your car and Gator was steadily growing nervous again, stumbling over his words a bit and his fingers lightly tapping the steering wheel. He was constantly glancing over at you too, a clearly shy smile on his face.
âGuess Iâll see yaâ next week.â Gator said as he parked the car.
âYouâre not stoppinâ by for lunch?â You joked.
âOh, right, yeah, yeah.â Gator laughed nervously. âYeah, Iâll stop by for lunch at some point.â
Gator looked over at you and his eyes flickered down for a moment, just a fraction of a second, right where your lips were. It made your heart flutter for a moment and you waited to see what he would do, but he continued to just sit there. So, you pushed down your nerves and leaned across to him, planting a quick kiss right to the corner of his mouth, not wanting to kiss him fully with him being so nervous right now.
Gator went still, a look of shock written all across his features and a small blush creeping its way up his neck. You thought he looked really cute like that, the complete opposite of the cocky attitude he was always throwing around, and you decided to just suck it up and you leaned in again, this time lightly pressing your lips against him.
Gator was still for another moment and you waited until you felt him begin to kiss you back before deepening it slightly. You reached your hand up and gently cupped his cheek and you could feel him physically melting at the touch, every last bit of nervousness and tension leaving him as his hand lightly landed on your hip and you realized that nobody had probably ever been this tender with him before.
You let the kiss linger for a few more moments before slowly pulling away, a smile on your face and a look of complete awe on Gatorâs and you could practically see the smoke coming from his ears as he tried to process what just happened.
âGood night, Gator.â You said softly, your thumb rubbing across his cheek before you pulled your hand away and turned towards the door.
âGood night.â Gator called back as you pushed open the door and gave him another smile. âIâll, uh, Iâll see yaâ later.â
âOkay.â You smiled wider. âIâll see yaâ later.â
Gator flashed you a real, full smile so wide that it showed off the dimples that you didnât even know he had. You forced yourself to close the door after that, not wanting to look away from the first real smile you had ever seen on him, but knowing that you couldnât just linger there forever. And you would see Gator again, a lot earlier than you normally would. And that knowledge kept the smile on your face for the rest of the night.
For anyone waiting on the next chapter of Ripping At Skin I just wanna let yaâll know that Iâve hit a bit of writerâs block on the story. I know exactly what I want to write, but the words are refusing to form lol! But Iâm slowly working on it (basically paragraph by paragraph) so it will be posted in the near future.
Summary: You left Lehigh three years ago when you found out your girlfriend was pregnant. You thought the two of you were going to start a new life together, try and work through all the craziness. But then she disappeared one night and you couldnât afford the house all on your own. So you decided to move back home. But what you didnât expect was to run in with Gator at the diner, and you definitely didnât expect your daughter to fall in love with him.
Gator x Single!Dad Reader Drabbles Masterlist
Male Characters Masterlist
You were walking with Bonnie through the little fair the town had put on for the Fourth of July. They did it every year; rides, games, food, fireworks. And Bonnie was just loving every second of it, head on a swivel as her wide eyes took in all the colorful displays.
You had her propped on your hip and dressed in the cutest little overalls you had ever seen. You saw them in the store with her a few weeks back and you just had to get them. And now she refused to take the things off. Not that you minded as it did save the rest of her clothes from getting dirty all the time.
âWhoa, look at that!â You said excitedly, pointing up at the guy dressed as Uncle Sam and standing on stilts.
âWhoa.â Bonnie breathed, head tilting back to get a look at the guy. The Uncle Sam waved down at her and she waved back, still awestruck.
The Uncle Sam walked off after that, greeting the rest of the fair goers as he went. You were waiting on Gator to show up. He was working the fair, the town not having enough cops to give any of them the day off. But they more so just walked around with their eyes peeled for drunks or a fight going on, so they were able to enjoy the night too.
Your eyes scanned the crowd again as you searched for that stupid Sheriff cap. Gator had already been here since the fair started and you texted him when you arrived, which was ten minutes ago. You were starting to wonder if he was breaking up a fight or something when you caught sight of him a few yards away.
âGator! Gator! Gator!â Bonnie excitedly chanted his name, arms and legs flying out as she bounced in your arms.
Gator had spotted you know too and was laughing at the excited display. Gator was Bonnieâs favorite person now, always yelling and buzzing with excitement when she saw him, and Gator was just as excited every time he saw her. He had never been someoneâs favorite person before.
You put Bonnie down on the grass and she immediately bolted towards Gator, running as fast as her little legs could carry her, arms outstretched as she continued to babble his name. He bent down and caught her the moment she ran into his arms, scooping her up and raising her in the air for a moment before setting her on his hip.
It had taken Gator a bit to get comfortable showing his affection so openly in public, still a bit nervous around kids. But the more time you let him spend with Bonnie, the more his softer side began to show and soon he didnât give two shits about who was watching, always happy to do whatever possible to put a smile on Bonnieâs face.
âBonnie here says that yaâ havenât gotten her any ice cream yet.â Gator jokingly chastised as he approached you.
âWe were waitinâ for you.â You said, fixing Bonnie a playfully stern look for ratting you out.
âWell, I think we gotta fix that.â Gator looked down at Bonnie.
Bonnie started kicking her legs excitedly as you made your way to the ice cream truck. You got her a small chocolate cone and you and Gator each a small cup. You found out early on that it was better not to get your own cone with Bonnie as she always made a mess and you would need both hands to clean her up. You went to pay for the ice cream when Gator shoved his own cash into the cashierâs hand first, not even allowing you to protest.
As you waited for your ice cream Bonnie was busy looking at the menu on the side of the truck, pointing at each item and saying she wanted that one and that one and that one. But as soon as her chocolate cone was presented to her she forgot all about the extravagant sundaes.
You found a picnic table off to the side and Gator set Bonnie on top of it before you handed her her ice cream, which she immediately started devouring, her little face basically faceplanting into the cold treat and getting chocolate all over both her and her clothes.
âIs it good?â You laughed as you watched the messy display.
âMm-hmm.â Bonnie nodded, face still smooshed against the cone.
âThanks.â You said to Gator.
âFor what?â He asked, shoving a spoonful of his own ice cream into his mouth.
âFor payinâ.â You said sheepishly.
âDonât worry âbout it.â Gator waved you off. âIt donât cost much anyway.â
You went back to eating your ice cream in silence, listening as Bonnie babbled happily. By the time she had finished her cone she had chocolate all the way up to her eyes and all over the front of her overalls. You used a wet wipe to clean her face and hands as best you could, but the overalls would have to wait until you got home.
You spent the next hour with Bonnie propped on your hip as the three of you walked around the fair, her too young to really play any of the games but still enjoying all the bright lights and colors.
By the time the fireworks were set to start your arms were getting tired from carrying Bonnie for so long, not really wanting her to walk around even with you holding your hand as the place was really crowded and you were afraid she would break away and get lost. So you kept having to hike her up on your hip as you readjusted her. But you pushed the pain aside as the fireworks started, their loud booming and crackling filling the air and making Bonnie giggle happily as you readjusted her once again.
âI can take her.â Gator said as he leaned in next to you, voice raised to be heard over all the noise.
You turned to him with a grateful smile and held her out to him. Bonnie barely noticed the switch, too focused on the colorful display. And then Gator raised her up and plopped her down on his shoulders. He kept a tight grip on her chunky legs as she rested her hands on his head. The whole thing was adorable, Gator grinning like an idiot even if Bonnie couldnât see, and Bonnie just in complete awe as she got the best view possible from up there.
A long display of fireworks shot up into the air, gold and blue and red sparkles all exploding across the sky. Bonnie started giggling happily, body buzzing as her excited little arms started happily banging away at Gatorâs head. You almost reached out to stop her, make sure she wasnât being too rough and hurting him when you caught sight of Gatorâs face. He was still smiling, laughing along so hard that his dimples were put on display. He didnât seem to mind the little hits at all, making no move to protest against them, and your heard just melted at the sight.
Summary: You left Lehigh three years ago when you found out your girlfriend was pregnant. You thought the two of you were going to start a new life together, try and work through all the craziness. But then she disappeared one night and you couldnât afford the house all on your own. So you decided to move back home. But what you didnât expect was to run in with Gator at the diner, and you definitely didnât expect your daughter to fall in love with him.
Gator x Single!Dad Reader Drabbles Masterlist
Male Characters Masterlist
A knock sounded on the door to the trailer about five minutes before it needed to. You quickly rushed over, leaving Bonnie sat in front of the tv, half watching the cartoon and half playing with the Barbie dolls littered across the floor. Her toys were all scattered about, left over from the previous dayâs playing. You always cleared them up a little bit, but what was the point of packing them away completely when Bonnie would just tear them out in a few hours anyway?
âThanks for doinâ this, Gator.â You said, tone apologetic as you gestured him inside. He was only half dressed for work, his vest and gun abandoned, probably sitting out in the cruiser parked in your lawn. âI know Iâm probably puttinâ yaâ out.â
âHey, itâs fine.â Gator waved you off. âI managed to get myself put on the night shift.â
âOh, God, yaâ didnât have to do all that.â You chastised, the same way you used to when he would say something dumb. âI couldaâ brought her with me.â
âItâs fine.â Gator said again, his tone and eyes reassuring. âNo one wants to work the night shift anyway, so they were happy to make the switch.â
You gave Gator another apologetic look before turning to Bonnie. âBonnie!â You called out. âGatorâs here.â
Bonnie whipped around instantly, cartoons and dolls forgotten as she unsteadily pushed herself up onto her chunky little legs and rushed over to Gator, stopping right in front of his legs and tilting her head all the way back to look up at him.
âGator!â She squealed.
âHi, Bonnie.â Gator smiled back, his nervousness from Saturday returning, still unused to spending any time with kids.
âBonnie, sweetie.â You said gently as you crouched down in front of her and her attention turned to you. âDaddyâs gotta go out for a few hours, so Gatorâs gonna watch yaâ for a bit.â
âWhere you going?â Bonnie asked inquisitively.
âDaddyâs gotta get a job.â You explained with a fake frown as Bonnie pouted. âBut a job means money.â You mused. âAnd yaâ know what money means?â
âWhat?â Bonnie said excitedly, picking up on the change of attitude.
âMoney means all your favorite cereal.â You smiled. âAnd toys. And maybe more trips to the diner for chocolate chip pancakes.â
âOoh.â Bonnieâs eyes went wide. âYou need job.â She nodded seriously before looking up at Gator again. âDaddyâs gonna get job.â
âYes, he is.â Gator laughed. âAnd heâs gonna be aâŠâ He trailed off and looked over at you, no clue what your interview was for.
âDaddyâs gonna be a mechanic.â You provided excitedly. âJust like I was before.â
âDaddyâs a good me-can-it.â Bonnie nodded up at Gator and then scrunched her little face. âBut he smells.â She tried to whisper, tried to make it sound like some shared secret, but you heard every word.
Gator just laughed, so genuinely and openly that you were taken aback for a second. He had laughed on Saturday during Bonnieâs antics, but not this openly, not this so genuinely happy and free that his dimples were showing.
âDaddyâs gotta go, sweetie.â You said, breaking up the sweet moment as Bonnie turned back to you again. âNow say bye to daddy.â
âBye, daddy.â Bonnie threw her little arms around your neck as you wrapped her up in your arms, planting a kiss to the top of her head before pushing yourself back to your feet as Bonnie ran back off to the living room.
âNo sweets.â You whispered to Gator. âIf she gets hungry thereâs yogurt and applesauce in the fridge. Sheâll probably tire out soon, so just make sure youâre quiet. And donât worry about all the toys.â You gestured at the living room.
You took one last look at Bonnie, now engrossed in her dolls as the show was on a commercial break. You always hated having to leave her, and you hated it more now that her mom was gone. But you didnât need her. You were going to get this job, and you were going to do just fine. Probably.
~~~~~
Your interview went amazing, and you were smiling to yourself during the whole ride back. The guy in charge of the shop had remembered your dad from back in the day and said he loved seeing you follow in his footsteps. He offered you the job right there and then, a handshake and all as he told you to start on Monday.
You unlocked the trailer door and slowly creaked it open, not hearing any noise from the other side and afraid of waking Bonnie if she was napping. And she was napping, on the couch and not in her bed where she was supposed to be. She was just adorable like that, face all smooshed against the cushion, hair sticking up and lips parted, a little bit of drool escaping the corner of her mouth. But it was the rest of the house that shocked you. Toys were scattered just about everywhere, the kitchen was a complete mess. And then you saw Gator, looking all frazzled with his hair a mess and a red stain on his shirt that you hoped was just paint. It looked like a tornado had blown through.
âIâm sorry.â Gator whispered quietly as he came over to you. âSheâs got a lotta energy.â
âYeah, IâŠâ You trailed off, eyes raking over the mess again. âWhat exactly happened?â
âWe were just playinâ and I guess Iâm not very good with discipline.â Gator rambled. âOr maybe I just couldnât keep up. Probably both. She ended up wearinâ herself out and crashed on the couch. I was afraid to wake her.â
âYeah, no, thatâs fine.â You stammered. âJust leave her there. Itâs about nap time anyway.â
âIâm sorry âbout the mess.â Gator apologized. âI was gonna clean it up. I will clean it up.â
âItâs okay, Gator.â You reassured. âYou can go, all right?â
âNo, no.â Gator shook his head. âThatâs not fair. Canât dump this mess on yaâ.â You just stared at him for a second before you started laughing softly. âWhat?â
âNothing.â You laughed. âItâs just that youâre definitely not the Gator I remember.â
âWell, what dâyaâ remember?â Gator asked sadly.
âCockiness.â You answered honestly. âBrashness. Flyinâ fists. Followinâ orders without question. I didnât even know the word sorry was in your vocabulary.â
âIt wasnât.â Gator said sheepishly. âBut a lotta shit happened in the past year and I just⊠Iâm tryinâ to do better. I donât wanna end up like him.â
âYouâre not him.â You reassured, but your heart was breaking at the confession. âAnd yaâ are doinâ better.â
âReally?â Gator asked quietly, shyly.
You smiled softly at him. âDo yaâ think the old Gator wouldaâ ever even given the thought of babysitting the time of day? Let alone suggest it? Yaâ really did change, Gator, and⊠well, Iâm proud of yaâ.â
Gator went silent, completely shocked as his eyes started going glassy, and you realized this was probably the first time he had ever heard those words. The first time anyone had ever been proud of him. Your heart broke even more at the realization. You really were proud of him.
âListen.â You said softly. âI trusted yaâ enough to leave yaâ alone with my daughter. If I had come back just a year earlier I wouldaâ never have done the same.â
âShe looks exactly like yaâ.â Gator said, trying to switch gears and get the soft affection to stop being thrown his way. âEven makes the same face while she sleeps.â
You melted at the compliment and turned back to Bonnie. And then you saw her again, face smooshed, lips parted and drooling. It was cute with a toddler, but with a grown adult?
You turned to Gator with a look. âSeriously?â
âI wasnât makinâ fun of yaâ.â Gator laughed. âYou were always cute when yaâ slept.â
âSo Iâm not cute now?â You teased.
âI didnât say that.â Gator defended quickly, and his voice was just a little too loud and Bonnie stirred on the couch, eyes blinking open as she turned her body towards you and then she shot up to her feet and came running over.
âDaddy!â Bonnie exclaimed, running towards you with her tiny arms outstretched and you quickly bent down and scooped her up in your arms.
âDid yaâ have fun with Gator?â You asked with a bright smile.
âYeah.â Bonnie nodded, her entire body buzzing with excitement in your arms. âWe played dolls and I did his hair and he⊠he said that⊠he said you worked on his truck.â Bonnie started to stumble over her words, her excitement literally taking the breath from her lungs.
âWell, it sounds like you two had quite a fun day.â You kissed her forehead and she giggled, squirming around a little bit. âDaddy had a good day too.â
âYou gonna be a me-can-it?â Bonnie asked.
âYes, I am.â You confirmed happily. âI start work on Monday.â
âBut⊠butâŠâ Bonnie started frowning. âYou gonna be gone.â
âI will.â You said sadly. âBut youâll have fun without me.â
âIs Gator gonna play?â Bonnie asked, head turning to Gator.
âNo, sweetie.â You shook your head. âGator has his own job. Heâs a police man, remember?â
âYou gonna work on his truck?â Bonnie asked, the sadness gone as she looked back at you.
âMaybe.â You said, hiking her up on your hip as you readjusted your grip. âIf he lets me, that is.â You turned to Gator, not really displaying any sort of silent message, but he started smiling sheepishly anyway.
âIt does have a couple problems.â Gator shrugged.
âCan I help?â Bonnie asked, little legs kicking out at the air, landing a few light hits to your leg.
âIf he brings the truck here.â You said, looking at Gator again and sending a silent message that time. Bonnie always loved helping you out when you had to fix your own car.
âOnly if it means I donât gotta pay.â Gator joked.
You rolled your eyes at him before turning your attention back to Bonnie. âSay bye to Gator, sweetie.â You gave him a small wave, gesturing for Bonnie to do the same.
âBye, Gator.â Bonnie waved enthusiastically.
âBye?â Gator questioned, brows furrowing as he looked between you and the mess in the kitchen and the mess in the living room. âI ainât leavinâ just yet. My shift donât start for a few more hours. Gotta clean up.â
You couldnât help the smile that crossed your face, especially with Bonnie excitedly squealing in your arms at the news that sheâd get to spend a few more hours with Gator. You really didnât expect him to stay and help clean up, but he left you no room to protest as he immediately turned towards the kitchen and began washing the dirty dishes.
Summary: You had been seeing Gator in secret for the past few months, and he had made it a routine to stop by the bakery every morning. He would always ask for free samples, and you would always tell him no. Well, almost always.
Male Characters Masterlist
The morning bakers had just left, the trays of breads and baked goods sitting on the racks as you waited for them to cool off, the fresh smell filling the early morning air. It was barely even five oâclock, right in the middle of winter, and the sun was nowhere to be seen. But that just made it all the more better. Nobody was awake, no bright headlights of passing cars shining through the windows. It was just you and the smell of sugar and cinnamon.
You grabbed one of the trays of bread and took it out to the front, taking the fresh loaves and aligning them perfectly in the display case when you heard the front door creak open and the small bell on top chiming into the stillness of the morning. You looked up with a smile to see Gator walk in, all bundled up against the bitter cold, nose a slight tinge of red.
âMorninâ.â You called out as Gator made his way over, still a little hazy from always getting up so early, but he was more aware now than he had been a month ago.
âMorninâ.â Gator replied as he stepped up to the display case, resting his arms on top and leaning in with a sleepy smile.
You smiled and stood back, teasing him for a moment until his lips started to turn downwards into a pout and only then did you step up and close the distance, placing a soft, gentle kiss to his lips and letting it linger for a few seconds before stepping back to see Gator smiling again.
He did this every morning, getting up way before he actually needed to and spending the first early hour of his morning with you. And every time he arrived he would step up to the display case, lean across the gap, and wait for you to come over and give him his good morning kiss.
The first time it had happened had been after a particularly rough night with his father and he came in with his head hung low and a small bruise below his eye. He had leaned against the display case and watched you work, too lost in his own thoughts to even say good morning. And you had walked over and gave him a soft kiss, effectively bringing a small smile to his face and warming his aching heart. It had become routine after that, Gator always pouting when you deviated. And you deviated once in a while just to see that adorable look cross his face. But you always gave him his kiss, and he always knew that you would.
It had definitely shocked you at first seeing Gator act all sweet and lovestruck, your relationship even beginning a little harshly with secret makeout sessions. But as the two of you began to spend more time together, real time together, you had been able to show him the type of soft affection that he had been denied his entire life and he just melted. He began opening up about his father and his mom, and soon he reaching out to you with his own gentle hands.
âSit down.â You ordered and Gator obeyed without question.
You grabbed one of the mugs on the wall and the pot of coffee and poured him a cup, adding in some sugar and extra creamer. He used to take it black, still would, but this was the way he actually preferred it, and you practically had to pry that information out of him after watching him hold back his grimace one too many times as he took each bitter sip.
âThanks.â Gator said quietly as he took the mug from you, letting the heat warm his hands as he waited for it to cool down.
That was another thing you had managed to pry from Gator, his thank yous. He never used to say it, not to anyone. But after you chastised him a few times about his bad manners and the way he saw you smile when he said thanks for the first time he started saying it all the time. Please and thank you falling from his lips like it was second nature. But never around anyone who wasnât you. His manners were reserved for you and you alone.
âWatchaâ doinâ later?â Gator asked as you made your way back behind the counter.
âNothinâ.â You said. âWhy? Think youâre gonna be free?â
âLooks like it.â Gator took a sip of his coffee and looked out the window at the foot of freshly fallen snow on the ground.
âWell, what do yaâ wanna do?â You asked as you grabbed a tray of cinnamon rolls from the kitchen and brought them out front to put them on display.
âNot much to do with this shit weather.â Gator complained as he turned back to you, his nose following the way until he saw the batch of baked goods in your hands.
âWanna just come over?â You suggested. âWatch a movie or somethinâ?â
âCan I have one?â Gator asked, pointing at the cinnamon roll in your hand as he completely ignored you.
âOnly if yaâ pay.â You said pointedly.
âThatâs not fair.â Gator pouted. âIâm your boyfriend, I should get free food.â
âYeah.â You drawled out. âIf I owned the place. But I donât.â You smirked. âSucks to suck.â
Gator pouted harder, big doe eyes staring up at you as he pushed out his bottom lip. He looked like a dejected toddler who had just gotten his favorite toy taken away. It was cute. Downright adorable. But you really couldnât go giving out free food whenever Gator asked.
âJust one?â Gator tried again, basically pleading with you.
âNo.â You said sternly.
You and Gator had done this dance before, him picking up the scent of whatever baked treat caught his attention that morning and asking you if he could have one. And you always told him no, holding your ground until he eventually just gave up and sulked for a minute before going back to the normal, and new, happy Gator.
Gator finally relented, letting out a long, exaggerated sigh and rolling his eyes as he wiped the pout off his face. You did feel kind of bad always telling him no, but he could easily just hand over the few bucks it cost and be able to enjoy a fresh baked good.
You finished putting the last of the cinnamon rolls on the tray into the display case and headed back into the kitchen to grab the other tray, Gator still sulking in his chair when you returned. You ignored him, not able to look at his adorable face for too long without breaking. He learned that one pretty quickly after you had managed to get him to show his heart, and he loved using it against you. Dinner, movie, choice of music, he got his way with a lot when he stuck out his lip and fixed you with the softest doe eyes you had ever seen.
You were about halfway done unloading the second batch of cinnamon rolls when you noticed that one of them was significantly smaller than the rest, by a good few inches or so. It mustâve been an extra, maybe the end of the roll that tapered off at the edges.
âWhat time should I come over?â Gator asked, apparently done sulking.
âEight good?â You suggested.
âMm-hmm.â Gator hummed as he sipped his coffee, eyes drifting back to the window.
You decided to hell with it and quickly snuck the small cinnamon roll off of the tray and onto a plate while Gatorâs attention was elsewhere. Itâs not like one missing item was gonna raise any eyebrows, food got dropped on the floor all the time. So, if this one cinnamon roll went missing then your boss would be none the wiser.
You grabbed the plate and hid it behind your back as you snuck up to Gator, his eyes watching as it began to flurry outside. You could see his nose working, clearly smelling the approaching food, and he turned back to you. He leaned his head to the side, brows scrunched in confusion as he tried to see what you were hiding. But you were quicker, and you moved the plate out of his sight. His brows furrowed further and he leaned to the other side, trying to catch you off guard when you switched the plate again, managing to keep it out of his view before you put it down on the table in front of him.
Gatorâs eyes lit up immediately, mouth falling open slightly in surprise. âThanks.â He turned to you with a smiled and then picked up the cinnamon roll and took a huge bite. âFuckinâ delicious.â He mumbled through his food.
âWell, good.â You mused, placing your hand on his shoulder and slowly trailing it to the other. âBetter keep yaâ motivated today.â
You slid your hand up his neck and onto his face, gently cupping his cheek, and Gator instantly melted into the touch, head lightly pushing against your hand as he sighed softly. You smiled at the adorable sight and leaned down to kiss his cheek, right where his moles were, and his face started to turn pink.
âYouâre blushinâ.â You teased, rubbing your thumb across his cheek.
âAm not.â Gator pouted and you kissed his cheek again, effectively making him go redder. âStop it.â
âNah.â You rubbed your thumb across his cheek again and could feel how hot he was. âYaâ love it.â
You started retracting your arm, your fingers slowly trailing over his skin as you prepared to get back to work when he suddenly reached out, arms wrapping around your waist and pulling you down onto his lap, pulling a small, surprised yelp from you before you fixed him with a glare. But Gator just smiled at you, and he just looked so cute right now with his red cheeks and big doe eyes staring up at you that you leaned down and pressed your lips against his.
Gator kissed back instantly, lips moving against yours softly as he tightened his hold on you, your own arms reaching up to snake around the back of his neck. You could smell the massive amount of gel in his hair and could taste the faint hint of watermelon and cinnamon on his tongue and it felt perfect.
You broke away after a few sweet seconds, just gazing at each other as you moved your hands to cup his face. He melted again, his grip on your waist loosening slightly as his features relaxed.
These were the moments where you loved Gator the most, when it was just you and him and he was able to just be himself. You did like the way he was always quietly protective of you when he saw you out in public, and found it sort of hot when he would pick a fightâfor the right reasons. But here, now, Gator was free.
âI have to get back to work.â You said sadly, rubbing your thumbs across his cheeks and making his eyes flutter closed for a moment.
âOkay.â Gator eventually replied reluctantly, eyes opening back up as he let go of your waist to let you stand up. And you pressed one more kiss to forehead before you left, causing him to smile like an absolute dork as he went back to enjoying his free breakfast.
Summary: You left Lehigh three years ago when you found out your girlfriend was pregnant. You thought the two of you were going to start a new life together, try and work through all the craziness. But then she disappeared one night and you couldnât afford the house all on your own. So you decided to move back home. But what you didnât expect was to run in with Gator at the diner, and you definitely didnât expect your daughter to fall in love with him.
Male Characters Masterlist
AN//: This isnât exactly a real series, but more of a collection of short drabbles. It does follow a loose continuous timeline, but it really just follows little snippets of their life as reader and Gator try to navigate this weird new world together. Best way to read is by the listed order, but can be read out of order or as standalones.
Summary: You left Lehigh three years ago when you found out your girlfriend was pregnant. You thought the two of you were going to start a new life together, try and work through all the craziness. But then she disappeared one night and you couldnât afford the house all on your own. So you decided to move back home. But what you didnât expect was to run in with Gator at the diner, and you definitely didnât expect your daughter to fall in love with him.
Gator x Single!Dad Reader Drabbles Masterlist
Male Characters Masterlist
You had just moved back to Lehigh a few weeks ago, unable to afford your house all on your own after your girlfriend left. She was there beside you in bed one night and when you woke up in the morning her things were gone and so was she. You waited, hoping she would call and at least give you an explanation. But no call came, no texts, not even a note left.
Your daughter Bonnie was too young to even realize what happened. Only a little over two years old. She wanted her mom, and she couldnât understand why that was impossible. So, you packed up your stuff, you took your daughter, and you found some little cozy trailer to move into. It was a bit run down, but nothing terrible. You just hoped a change of scenery and living in a place you knew and was newly free of the Tillmans would make it easier. And, lucky for you, your daughter seemed to be having a great time.
âI want pancakes.â Bonnie said as she crawled into the booth.
You decided to take her to the diner, the one place in town you had always liked and always had good food. It was a small joint, warm and cozy and always filled with different people. The smell of freshly brewing coffee and the sizzling of bacon and eggs filled the Saturday morning air. It was nice, calm. And no more Tillmans to throw punches at the customers.
âWell, lucky for you.â You smiled as you slid into the booth next to Bonnie, grabbing her and sitting her upright. âThey got the best pancakes in the whole county.â
Bonnieâs eyes widened as she picked up the menu, not actually reading it, but instead just flipping through the pages happily. You honestly couldnât believe that she was yours, so bubbly and excited all the time.
âHello.â The waitress said as she stepped up to the table, smiling kindly as she saw your daughter turn to her. âWell, what do you two want today?â
âPancakes!â Bonnie almost shrieked from excitement.
âWell, we got lots of pancakes here.â The waitress mused.
âWeâll do chocolate chip.â You answered and Bonnieâs little feet started kicking excitedly against the leather booth. âThe smiley face ones.â
âChocolate chip smiley face.â The waitress repeated as she wrote down the order. âAnd what can I get you, sir?â
âIâll do the ham and cheese omelette.â You smiled. âWith a side of bacon.â
âAll right.â The waitress scribbled in her pad before looking up again. âCan I get yaâ guys anything to drink?â
âIâll just do coffee.â You answered and then turned to Bonnie. âWhat do yaâ want to drink, sweetie?â
âChoc milk.â Bonnie said, hands flipping through the menu again.
âA coffee and one chocolate milk.â The waitress smiled. âAnythinâ else?â
âThatâs it.â You said. âThank you.â
The waitress gave Bonnie one last smile and a small wave before walking off to the kitchen. Bonnie seemed to have a lot of energy that morning, standing up and down in the booth, playing with the menu and the napkins, hanging off your arm as she pushed about every item on the table your way. It warmed your heart to see her so happy. You had been so afraid she would hate the change, but she just seemed to love it.
The waitress came by a little later with your food and Bonnie finally calmed down a bit as she started eating, trying to shove the biggest bites possible into her mouth before you stopped her and cut it up smaller. She had more syrup on her hands and face than she did on the plate.
Bonnie grabbed the chocolate milk, both of her tiny little hands wrapped around the cup as she brought it to her lips. She was standing on the seat as she ate, always buzzing with too much energy to sit for that long. When she put the cup down she had a line of chocolate milk all across her upper lip. You grabbed one of the napkins and wiped at her face, managing to get the milk off but also getting caught on all the sticky syrup. Youâd just have to use the wet wipes in the car and then maybe a bath when you got home.
You were just reaching for another napkin to try and clean off Bonnieâs hands when the bell above the door dinged. You looked up out of habit and froze for a moment when you saw who entered. It was Gator, all dressed up in his vest, hat, and that stupid gun strapped to his thigh. He didnât look as angry as the last time you saw him, his scowl still there but not as deep as it once was. And the other customers didnât freeze or stiffen when he entered. They just continued about their business.
You and Gator had a weird past, had an on again, off again thing during senior year where youâd spend a few days or weeks sneaking around and making out before going silent again. After graduation the two of you had just stopped contacting each other. But a few years later you had run into him again and the whole process started over. Two years of late night drives and makeouts and even a few very vague confessions from him about his dad. But you could never quite get him to open up fully, or to even counter his dadâs control even once. It was too much, and you decided you couldnât deal with it anymore. So, you broke it off, gave him an inkling of promise that if he did change you could try again. But that didnât happen, and you found some girl. Some girl who left you all alone with a two year old. But you never blamed Bonnie, she was the light of your life. Your perfect little happy accident.
Gator looked around the place, probably looking for a spot to sit when his eye caught yours. He froze, eyes raking over your face as he tried to figure out if you were real or not. You never told Gator when you left town. It wasnât like you had spoken to each other in a year. And now you were back, sitting in the diner with your two year old daughter happily making a mess of her breakfast.
Gator glanced around the diner one more time before slowly making his way over, almost approaching you as cautiously as one would approach a spooked horse. He stopped at the side of your table, eyes flickering over to Bonnie for a second before landing back on you.
âHey.â Gator said, tone a complete one-eighty from the brash cockiness that used to seep from him.
âHi!â Bonnie turned and waved at Gator, big smile on her face.
âThis is Bonnie. My daughter.â You introduced her and she waved again. Gator gave a small wave back as you could practically see the gears turning in his brain.
âDidnât know yaâ had a kid.â Gator said, getting more uncomfortable by the second.
âYou a please-man?â Bonnie asked, mouth full of pancake.
âYes, he is a police man.â You patted Bonnie on the back of the head.
âYou catch daâ bad guys?â Bonnie asked.
âUh, yeah.â Gator stammered. âYeah, I catch the bad guys.â
âYou can, umâŠâ You gestured towards the open bench on the other side of the booth.
Gator glanced between you, Bonnie, and the open seat for a moment before slowly sitting down, hands resting on the table in front of him as he fiddled with his fingers. It was a nervous habit that you had noticed back in high school. Whenever a particularly unsavory topic came upâmostly his dadâhe would start fiddling or tapping his fingers against something.
âDidnât know yaâ came back.â Gator said. âThought yaâ were gone for good.â
âJust moved back.â You shrugged.
âMister cop.â Bonnie announced, pushing herself up from her seat to stand on the bench, food forgotten for the moment as she was much more interested in the cop. âDo youâdo you drive daâ car?â
âThe car?â Gator asked, looking over at you, completely confused.
âThe cruiser.â You explained.
âOh.â Gator laughed nervously and turned back to Bonnie. âYeah, I drive the cruiser.â
âHow you know my daddy?â Bonnie asked, smile fading a bit as she tried her best to stare Gator down with her big eyes and chubby little cheeks.
âHeâs an old friend of daddyâs.â You said, reaching out to grab her middle and make sure she didnât fall over. âThis is Gator.â
Bonnieâs face lit up again. âLike a alley-gator.â
Gatorâs own face lit up, even though he tried hard to hide it. He had always hated his name, never even understood how it was a name. But, apparently, hearing your daughter all excited about it seemed to flip a switch in his brain. You had only seen the same thing happen once before when you had complimented his natural hair.
Gator seemed to have changed a lot over the past three years. And you supposed whatever the hell had gone down on the ranch had a major hand in that. And the fact that Roy was locked away in prison and unable to torment him anymore. You liked this new Gator, the one not cursing and scowling at everyone. He actually seemed happy. Well, maybe a bit off due to his dadâs arrest and all the attention that had probably been thrown his way. But he seemed to be making real progress.
Bonnie started reaching across the table. Well, as far as her little arms would allow, which wasnât very far. âStar.â Her sticky little hands started pointing at the badge on Gatorâs chest. âStar.â
âYaâ like my badge?â Gator smiled, a real, genuine smile that he let freely cross his face.
Gator unclipped the badge from his shirt and held it out to Bonnie. She took it eagerly, making excited noises as she stared wide eyed at the shiny new object. But her hands were also covered in syrup and she was getting it all over the badge.
âBonnie, yaâ gotta wipe your hands, sweetie.â You said as you grabbed for a clean napkin. âYaâ donât wanna ruin Gatorâs badge, do yaâ?â
Itâs fine. Donât worry. God, this really was a whole new Gator. And even Bonnie seemed to like him, her eyes now trained on him instead of the badge in her hands. She was a very aware little kid, always happy and bubbly around strangers, but she would glare at them when she didnât like them. And every time that happened the person turned out not to be very nice. So, if Bonnie liked Gator, then he really mustâve changed.
Bonnie put the badge down on the table and sunk down in her seat. And then she sunk lower, sliding off the edge of the bench and down below the table before you could stop her.
âBonnie.â You chastised. âCome on, sweetie, donât play under the table. Itâs dirty.â
Bonnie didnât listen, though she rarely did, and her little head appeared on the other side of the table, right next to Gator. You could hear little grunts leaving her lips as she struggled to pull herself up. You were about to reach over and try to help her, stop her from hurting herself, when Gator reached out first, hands grabbing her middle and easily picking her up and setting her down on her feet on the bench beside him.
Bonnie grabbed Gatorâs arm, tiny, sticky hands grabbing at his short sleeve shirt and pulling the sleeve up to reveal his tattoo. That stupid tattoo that he got only a week after he turned eighteen. He didnât say anything about it, and then he just showed up the next day all proud of himself, thinking he was some big, tough hotshot.
âL-O-L.â Bonnie read as she traced over the letters and you and Gator both laughed.
Bonnie then started grabbing for Gatorâs Sheriff hat, apparently done with the tattoo. Gator reached up, and you expected him to hold onto it and tell her no, never the one to let othersâexcept for youâtouch his hat. But he was just full of sweet surprises today and he slipped the hat off and placed it right on top of Bonnieâs head. The thing was way too big for her, almost covering her entire face, so Gator readjusted it until it was tilted back a bit, and her chubby face beamed at Gator.
âDaddy, daddy, look!â Bonnie squealed as she turned to you.
âVery cool, baby.â You said excitedly, smiling back at how adorable she looked.
Gator reached across the table and snatched up the badge, pinning it to Bonnieâs shirt and she just started smiling harder, buzzing with excitement as she bounced up and down on her chubby little legs and Gator reached a hand out in front of her, making sure she didnât slip.
âLook, daddy.â Bonnie beamed proudly as she continued bouncing. âImma cop.â
âYes, you are, sweetie.â You laughed.
Bonnie then turned to Gator, her face going stern as she put her hands on her hips. âImma rest you.â
âYouâre gonna arrest me?â Gator played along, mock surprise on his features. âWhatâd I do?â
âImma cop.â Bonnie said. âSo imma rest you.â
âBut Gatorâs also a cop.â You joined in. âYouâre gonna arrest another cop?â
âGator not a cop.â Bonnie shook her head. âI have his bag. So imma cop.â
âSorry, Gator.â You mockingly apologized. âYaâ canât argue with that.â
âThatâs not fair.â Gator joked. âThatâs my badge.â
âNot anymore.â You shrugged.
Bonnie dropped her hands from her hips and reached out for her half eaten plate of pancakes. You slid the plate over and she started digging in again, apparently done with playing around. For now, at least.
âHow old?â Gator asked as he watched Bonnie eat beside him.
âTurned two a few months ago.â You said, eyes never leaving your daughter with the large hat and badge as she devoured her breakfast.
âSheâs cute.â Gator said, looking over at you with a small smile.
âThanks.â You smiled back. âBeen a bit hard since her mom left. Thought itâd be easier to come back. âSpecially with, you know⊠him gone.â
âYeah.â Gator sighed, eyes flickering down to his hands where he started fiddling with his fingers again. âBeen a weird year.â
âIâm sure.â You said. âHow yaâ holdinâ up?â
âIâm fine.â Gator shrugged you off. âHelped the FBI and shit. âS why Iâm here and not there.â
âHas he tried to call yaâ at all?â You asked worriedly, afraid that Roy might try to worm his way back into Gatorâs head.
âA couple times.â He admitted. âI answered the first two. Now I just hang up.â
âGood.â You said firmly and he looked back up at you. âYaâ donât need him.â
âI know.â Gator said, but he didnât sound convinced.
âDaddy.â Bonnie piped up and you turned to see her making grabby hands at her chocolate milk.
You reached out to push it over to her when Gator grabbed the cup first. Bonnie wrapped her hands around the cup and took a big gulp before setting it back down. You turned back to Gator and saw him still watching her, a soft look in his eyes.
âYou know.â Gator said, slowly looking back over at you. âIf yaâ ever need help or anything⊠you know, with her, you could call me.â
âGator, I donât knowâŠâ You trailed off, unsure if it was a good idea. But Bonnie really liked him, and it would be nice to have some help.
âYaâ donât have to.â Gator stammered. âItâs just that⊠you know, if yaâ just need someone to watch her from time to time. Or somethinâ.â
âCan he, daddy?â Bonnie asked, apparently having been listening the entire time.
âWeâll see, baby.â You placated. âGatorâs a very busy man.â
âIf yaâ donât wanna.â Gator whispered, leaning slightly over the table to make sure Bonnie couldnât hear. âItâs fine.â
âIâll think about it, all right?â You whispered back. âJust a lotta change right now. Yaâ know?â
âYeah.â Gator stammered, nodding quickly as he sat back in his seat. âYeah, yeah, itâs fine. I get it.â
You glanced over at Bonnie, the hat slipping down her head a bit, her hands covered in syrup and her upper lip stained with chocolate milk. You really did have your hands full with her, her energy never wavering even after bedtime. You could use some help. Just a little bit.
âWell.â You said slowly. âI do have an interview on Tuesday. If youâre not workinâ, maybe you could watch her. Just for an hour or two.â
âYeah.â Gator smiled softly. âYeah, Iâm free Tuesday. Just let me know.â
âWould yaâ like that, sweetie?â You asked as you leaned closer to Bonnie. âWould yaâ like Gator to watch you for a bit on Tuesday while Iâm gone?â
âMm-hmm.â Bonnie nodded excitedly, happy babbles muffled by the pancakes in her mouth. Gator was watching her with those soft eyes again, a fond smile pulling at his lips. How could you say no to either of those cute faces?
Summary: Your mom had married Roy two years ago, wanting a man with money and status. She died one year ago, after only a year of marriage, leaving you alone on that godforsaken ranch. All you wanted to do was leave, but Roy saw you as his own now and he would never let you go.
TW: abuse, non-con touching (not from Gator), pseudocest (not really, the readerâs mom died a year ago and Roy already remarried)
Story Masterlist
Male Characters Masterlist
You could hear the roaring of the engine and the grinding of rubber on dirt before you saw the tuck pull up, headlights shining through the curtains and casting the house in an eerie yellow glow. You were in the living room with Gator, the two of you folding a load of sheets. Well, more like you folding and him screwing up every time it came to a fitted sheet. But he was learning.
Gator threw down the pillow case in his hands immediately, shooting up from his seat as the hard mask slipped into place. You halted your movements for a second, dread and sadness washing over you for having the perfect weekend come to an end. And then you went right back to work, folding the fitted sheet and keeping your eyes downcast, making sure there was nothing you could be doing that Roy could get pissed over.
Gator made his way to the door, shoulders squared but still looking small, just the way Roy liked him. But he had barely even made it into the hallway when the door swung open with so much force you could swear the movement caused a wind tunnel to come barreling through the house.
You could see Gator flinch, an almost imperceptible jolt of his shoulders as he stopped, standing there, waiting. The change in the air was palpable, like the crackling of electricity just before a storm. And not in a good way. In the way that makes you stock up on canned goods and batten down the hatches. Roy was not in a good mood. You and Gator were screwed. And who knows when this anger started. The thundering waves mightâve been crashing down over poor Karen for the past two days.
âUpstairs.â Royâs voice bellowed from the other side of the wall. Karen came scurrying in and out of view like a flash of lightning, her head hung low and a nasty dark bruise on her cheek. âGator.â
âYeah?â Gator responded, the nonchalant bravado back in place. But you could see it starting to slip, could hear the slight waver in his voice.
Roy rounded the corner in an instant, face as hard as stone as he practically sneered at Gator. âThe hell are you doinâ? I said upstairs.â
Gator was already standing stock still, back turned to you, but you could see him freeze, could see his breath hitch for just a moment before he turned and left, disappearing around the corner and not even sparing you a glance. But that was good, because if he had looked over at you then that wouldâve just infuriated Roy and whatever his problem was with you right now it did not need to get directed at him as well.
Once Karen was gone, once Gator was gone, once the sound of their doors opening and closing had faded away, Roy stepped forward. You tried to carry on with your work, make it look like you were still taking your punishment seriously. But it felt like Roy was practically breathing down your neck, even if he was still a few feet away.
âI think the role of housewife suits yaâ.â Roy said, stalking ever closer, one slow, heavy foot at a time. âKeeps yaâ obedient and docile.â He stopped, a foot of heavy air hanging between you as he stared you down. âKeeps that fire from raginâ too hard.â
âI have to go back to work.â You said evenly, your weekend with the real Gator filling you with a sense of protection, with a need to fight back even though you knew you would lose. âPeople will ask questions.â
Roy hummed lowly, darkly, his eyes scanning over your face, whether he was searching for something or trying to make something happen you werenât sure. But you provided him no reaction nonetheless.
Royâs eyes locked back onto yours. âYaâ think youâre ready to be let off your leash?â
You forced yourself not to answer, to show him that, yes, you had done all of his bullshit chores, you allowed him to starve you, and you allowed him to make you his punching bag. You would defy him anyway, you would text your boss and tell him you were healthy now, ready to get back to work. But you would much rather have Roy not explode when you did that.
âAll right.â Roy stepped forward again, closing the gap. âYaâ want your freedom back?â His large hand came up and grabbed the side of your face, yanking you forward, only an inch of space left between you now as your heart hammered in your ears. âI guess yaâ earned it. Did such a good job yaâ put Karen to shame.â It was supposed to be a joke, but it just felt like a knife to the gut. âIâm beginninâ to think itâd be easier to just replace her with you.â
Replace Karen? With you? Oh, God. Oh, God! Him with his chest exposed, his thumb brushing across your lips, him calling you a goddamn housewife. He did want you. The sick fuck wanted you and it would only be a matter of time before he made that happen.
You could feel your breaths coming in in short, ragged bursts, tears burning at the backs of your eyes, bile rising in your throat as the only thing you could hear was the blood pumping in your ears. You were trembling, shaking like a goddamn leaf in the wind. Where was Gator? You wanted Gator. You wanted Roy to drive back off and never return. You wanted to run upstairs and lock yourself in Gatorâs room, grab onto him and never let go, have him hold you and never falter. You just wanted to be anywhere that wasnât here and now with Roy. God, you just wanted Gator.
Royâs thumb moved to your lips, not brushing this time, but pressing against them, tainting the sweet taste of Gator with the vile sting of his skin. He was claiming you, marking you, staking his goddamn claim. But he didnât own you, he never had, and he never would.
You threw up your arms, planting them against his chest and shoving him off as you hurried back a few steps. His hand slipped from your face, a dangerous smirk crossing his face. Because he let it happen, he let you fight back. The sick bastard was finding pleasure in your defiance.
âMaybe yaâ arenât ready to be let off your leash.â Roy said darkly, stepping back towards you again and you forced yourself to stay put. âMaybe I need to tighten it, hm?â
Royâs hand flew forward and clamped down on your bad arm, fingers digging into the stitches and sensitive flesh and tearing a small, choked cry from your lips and you quickly tried to stifle the sound as to not alert anyone else. As to not let Gator hear the pain you were in, the terror that was coursing your veins.
âYou gonna behave?â Roy asked evenly and then his fingers dug in harder. You bit down on your tongue so hard that you could taste metallic. âOr are yaâ gonna continue to disobey me?â
âIâll behave.â You whispered, words caught behind the scream that was desperate to escape.
Roy yanked you forward as he leaned in. âI canât hear you.â
âIâll behave.â You said as loud as you could without letting the sound of unshed tears escape.
Roy shoved your arm out of his grip and then reached up and you flinched on instinct, expecting a slap or a punch or another disgusting hold of your face. Instead, he patted your cheek twice, lightly, condescendingly.
âGood boy.â Roy mocked. âNow leave the laundry for Karen. I donât want to see your face till morninâ.â
You hung your head and rushed out of the living room as fast as possible without making it look like you were running. You were still terrified, still in deep shit with punishment coming at the break of dawn. But you were able to go to work now, able to escape to the bar where Roy never stepped foot and the cash flowed easily to your pocket. You were able to finally get off of that goddamn ranch and breathe.
You stopped in front of your door, hand hovering over the handle. You glanced behind you, desperately wanting to switch directions and see Gator, see the one person right now that wasnât trying to hurt you. But you didnât want to screw anything up, you didnât want to backtrack after just stepping forward. So you turned back towards your own door, pushing any thoughts of Gator out of your mind as you twisted the handle and stepped inside. But your blank mind didnât last long as Gator was sitting on the edge of your bed, hands worrying the denim on his knees as he stared right through the wall.
When you closed the door Gator snapped back to reality, worried eyes landing on you as he shot up from his seat, crossing over in one quick stride as his hand reached up and cupped your cheek. You flinched, body jolting violently and Gator quickly dropped his hand to his side, features crumbling and you felt your heart sink.
You could see it, Gator thought you were scared of him. But you werenât. Honestly, you had never been scared of him. But it was the dark shadow lurking just below the floorboards that made ice run through your veins. But Gator was not Roy, never had been and never will be. He was Gator. Kind, gentle, caring Gator that only two weeks ago you wouldâve laughed at the prospect of. But now you couldnât imagine him any other way.
You threw your arms around him before you could think too hard about it, arms encircling his middle as you buried your head in his chest, listening the sound of his fluttering heartbeat and letting it distract you from everything else in the world. Because the only thing that existed right now was you and him. The two of you, together.
Gator hesitated for a moment, the distant feeling of his arms hovering beside you hanging in the air before he hugged you back. One arm encircled your lower back, the other wrapping protectively around your shoulders as he lowered his head to yours, his cheek resting on your hair.
âMâ sorry.â You murmured into his chest.
âFor what?â Gator asked quietly.
âFlinchinâ.â You whispered. âIt wasnât you. It isnât you. Mâ sorry.â
âItâs okay.â Gator whispered back, arms holding on just a little tighter. âItâs okay.â
~~~~~
The stables. Again. Jesus Christ. It wasnât even a punishment anymore, it was spite. He was making you do the damn dirty work just to irk you. It was starting to feel like something Gator would do. A petty little jab because you ended up on his bad side, making you clean up literal shit. But you were going to work later, finally. After two weeks trapped on that ranch youâd finally get to have some real freedom.
You kept checking the time, the hours steadily ticking away. You checked again, an hour until you had to be at work. Youâd probably be good to stop working and go take a shower. The bar wasnât necessarily far, but since the Tillman property spanned a vast distance it was a bit of a drive.
You were just putting the equipment away when you heard footsteps approaching. You thought it might be Gator, home early or just deciding to stop by while out on patrol like he did almost every day. But it wasnât, the footsteps were too harsh, too demanding. It was Roy.
You turned to the sound and Roy was angry, already fuming with rage as he approached. You tried to wrack your brain to figure out what you couldâve possibly done to set him off like that, but you came up empty. Maybe someone else had done something, Karen or one of the ranch hands, and Roy just decided to come to you, his favorite punching bag.
âWhatâd you do?â Roy demanded as he neared.
What did you do? So this did have something to do with you? You didnât know what you did. You didnât think you had done anything. Seriously, you did your work expertly and in record timing today. So, what the hell did you do?
âWhat?â You asked, raising your voice to be heard over the bandana on your face, but not loud enough to sound accusatory. You didnât want to set him off any more and risk getting your ticket out of here snatched away.
âGator.â Roy stated, planting himself in front of you, only a foot away. âHeâs a goddamn pussy now, always steppinâ out of line.â Royâs eyes darkened, the hint of a sneer viciously pulling at his lips. âWhatâd you do to him?â
âI didnât do anything.â You argued before you could stop yourself. âProbably just saw through your bullshit.â You mumbled the last part, hoping the layer of fabric would keep him from even realizing you had moved your lips.
A loud cry tore through your throat before you even realized what Roy was doing. His hand was clamped around your arm, fingers digging into the cut, ripping out the stitches. The pain was even more severe than last night, your healing flesh still sensitive from the aggravation. He was trying to make it hurt, he was trying to make it as painful as possible because he blamed you for whatever new attitude Gator seemed to be showing off.
Roy used his free hand to rip your bandana down, using so much force that the thing actually tore a little bit. âThe fuck did you just say?â He seethed, words calm and steady but cutting like a knife.
It was a terrible idea to say anything right now, thatâs not what Roy was looking for. But after those two days alone with Gator, seeing the real man hidden beneath the surface, locked away under brick wall after brick wall, you just wanted to tell Roy to go to hell. You wanted to send him to hell yourself.
âI said he probably just say through your bullshit!â You spat, venom dripping off every syllable. Two years of pent up rage all spilling out for Gatorâs lifetime of abuse.
The back of Royâs hand slammed against the side of your head so hard and so fast that you didnât even see the movement, your head just whipping to the side, nearly giving you whiplash from the force as your ear began to ring. You could feel the heat on the side of your head, the bruise surely forming in just a little while. Slap, punch, kick, shove; they all left a bruise when delivered by Roy.
His hand gripped your chin, fingers digging into flesh and bone as he yanked your head back in his direction, forcing you to look at his vile form. And then his thumb, that goddamn thumb, ran across your lips, pressure pushing them around to his will. He didnât say anything, his eyes trained on the possessive movement and you felt like you were drowning. You couldnât breathe, you couldnât find the surface. Everything was Roy. Vile, burning, claiming Roy. And you decided right there and then that that was it. You wouldnât do it anymore, you couldnât. Youâd find a way off of this ranch and end Roy Tillman for good. And youâd take Gator with you, youâd take him far, far away and never think about this prison anymore. You would never let Roy hurt him, you, or anyone else ever again. You were going to kill Roy Tillman.
The hand on your face retracted and then it was back on you, clamping down on your shoulder and shoving you forward towards the door. There was nothing graceful about it, like an unruly toddler getting yanked because it got distracted by every now shiny object it saw. It was a noose. It was one of those sticks that animal control used to get dogs into the back of the van. Roy was an executioner leading the prisoner to the gallows.
His thumb moved up, pushing away the fabric of your collar and brushing against the skin. It was deliberate, purposeful. His thumb couldâve planted down on top of the fabric without a problem, but he chose to strip away the fabric and leave you exposed to his burning touch. It felt like fire on your skin. It felt he had placed an ice cube right on top of a layer of salt and dug down deep into the wound, letting it seep through the layers of skin and sink deep into your bones. He was trying to claim you from the inside out. He wanted every piece of you to belong to him, just like everyone and everything else in this town belonged to him. Judge, jury, executioner. Roy Tillman wasnât just all three of those, he was the prosecutor, he was the officer standing guard. But never once had he ever been the one on trial.
Roy led you through the yard, down past the parked cars and the work of the ranch hands. Past the fixing place that it sure as hell felt like you were going to. He led you towards the house, the dirt road all mixed with the rain and creating a pile of brown sludge. And you could swear that he was stomping his feet harder than was necessary just to get the mud on the back of your pants.
When you made it up the stairs of the porch he held you there, his own hand reaching around you to push the door open, his chest definitely pressing up against you on purpose. And then you were inside, the slamming of the wooden door sounding like the clinking of a jail cell and his hand never once leaving you, his skin pressed against yours like a knife held to your throat.
Roy pushed you forward harshly, sending you right into the doorway to the kitchen where Gator was standing at full attention, clearly having been told to wait there until Roy returned, and probably not even expecting him to reappear until the sun had long since set. He had done it before, had forced you or Gator or Karen to wait where you were until he was back, and he never came back until you were sure you would just tip over and die.
Gator watched Roy, eyes purposefully never trailing over to you where you were held in Royâs iron grip. Gatorâs mask was definitely fading, cracking and crumbling with every eerily passing second. His face impassive and submissive to Royâs whim, but his eyes just a fraction wider than they shouldâve been and filled with fear. And it really was all your doing, wasnât it? Your two days alone had unlocked some of those padlocked doors. He got a glimpse into a life free of Roy. One where he could say and do what he wanted. One where he could just sit and breathe and not worry about inhaling toxic fumes. It was a life he had never once seen before, and by the look in his eyes, he wanted to make that life permanent.
âYou two are not to speak to each other unless someone else is present.â Roy commanded, not leaving any room to argue or even breathe. âYou are to do your chores, go to work, and return to this house immediately. No parties.â His grip on your neck tightened just a fraction, his nonverbal way of directing his command at you. âNo driving around.â His shook you, the moment made to direct the order to Gator who clenched his jaw slightly. âWhen you two are not workinâ you will be here. On the ranch.â
âYes, sir.â Gatorâs eyes dropped, a look of submission to Roy, but a sly way of looking in your direction, even if for a fraction of a second.
You could feel Roy move forward, his mouth just an inch from your ear. âI didnât hear you.â
You kept your eyes trained on Gator, not wanting to respond to Roy. Wanting to defy him until your very last breath. But these orders werenât just for you, they were for Gator too. And the threat hung like smoke in the air; if either of you broke the rules the other would be punished.
âYes, sir.â You grit out, pronouncing every syllable clearly and deliberately.
âGator.â Roy said, his face still hovering dangerously close to yours and Gatorâs head shot up. âWait in the truck.â
You could see the fear in his eyes grow into terror. Whatever Roy was planning, be it work or punishment or something far worse, neither of you knew. But when Roy Tillman told you to wait, then you waited. And you spent however long it took for him to return, the crackling of electricity tainting the air as you waited for the storm to come raging on in.
Gator ducked his head and stepped forward, having to side step Roy as he refused to move even an inch for him. You wanted to watch Gator leave, you wanted to catch his eye one final time. You wanted to make sure he didnât just up and disappear the moment he was out of sight. But with Royâs hand clamped down around your neck not even your eyes could track that far. And then the front door closed and the last, paper thin line of defense you had left vanished.
The moment Gator was gone Roy turned his head, the side of his face pressing up against yours like a cloud blocking out the sun, a shadow growing and enveloping you until all you could see was black. He moved his thumb to the side, pressing it right up against your artery and feeling the rapid beating of fear that was coursing through you. And then his chest pressed up against your side, his legs on either side of yours, and his crotch pressed against your hip.
You couldnât breathe, you couldnât take in any air. You were sure your heart was going to beat right out of your chest and you fought tooth and nail to keep the burning tears at bay. Roy was hard and he was pushing right up against you, just standing there; waiting, watching. He was claiming you, testing you to see if you would react. But that wasnât even the worst part, the worst part was that you had no idea if he was going to take this a step further or if he was just trying to scare you. The only hope you had was Gator, but Roy had already wormed his way back inside his head. You were alone this time, truly alone. There was no phone call to make, no drugs to blame on your inability to move. Roy Tillman had you in his clutches, his claws dug deep into your bones, and you couldnât even make yourself blink.
You were going to kill him. You were going to kill him. Roy Tillman would die by your hand. And soon. You just had to move. Right now, you had to just move. You werenât going to kill him now, you too scared and unarmed and Roy with his gun strapped to his hip. Heâd blow a bullet straight through your brain before you could even throw a punch. But you couldnât stand there and take it, you couldnât. You were aware this time, no drugs in your system. So why the hell wouldnât your body do anything?
âIf I hear yaâ say so much as a hi to him.â Roy whispered right up against your ear, his breath hitting your skin like poisonous gas. âHeâll be the one who gets taught a lesson.â Roy rolled his hips, his crotch rubbing against your hip and making bile rise in your throat. âIf he wants to get attached then Iâll just have to burn the rope.â
Oh, god, he meant you. No matter what either of you did, it would be you who paid the price, and the payment would be worse than fists or belts or chains in the basement. It would be worse than even death. And there was no way Roy would tell Gator any of this. You thought he meant that if either of you broke the rules the other would be punished. And that was true, but Roy, that goddamn bastard, would punish Gator by hurting you. And if you were hurt, if you broke, then there would be no way to kill him and save Gator.
âYes, sir.â You pronounced each syllable loudly and clearly, forcing your eyes to be trained on the wall ahead and not glance for even a second to the vile shadow engulfing you.
âYouâll go to work and youâll come straight back.â Roy ordered. âNow get the fuck out of my sight.â
Roy used the hand on your neck to shove you to the side, causing you to stumble a bit as you moved your eyes to the floor, keeping them fixed on the wood and making him believe that you had submitted, that you were obeying. And maybe you would, or maybe you wouldnât. You could never follow Royâs orders for long and, honestly, whatever despicable form of torture he wanted to throw your way was fine with you, just as long as it wasnât directed at Gator. Not physically, at least. He spent his entire life watching Roy beat every mother figure in his life, whether they were loving or cold or just present. Anybody that he had ever held a scrap of love for had met an untimely end. And as much as you had come to realize that you would willingly choose the same fate to save him you knew you couldnât. Gator suffered enough. He needed you to stay alive and stay sane.
~~~~~
It was nearly eleven oâclock as you refilled drink orders, handed out trays of food, and flirted or praised whatever customers you could. You had been so distracted the past two weeks with Roy that you had nearly forgotten that, despite Gator blocking Jackâs number, he still worked at the bar. Luckily, when you showed up he was nowhere to be found and it was only you and Sarah working for the night.
Sarah was busy with some of the tables, working her way over to the pool table with a tray of new and empty glasses and bottles in hand. Most of the men watched as she watched by, their eyes traveling lower than her eyes. You kept one of your own trained on her and the other on the patrons at the bar. There were always incidents with your female coworkers, and the men didnât always need booze in their system to do something. But it seemed they were all content with just watching tonight.
âCan I get yaâ another?â You asked the old farmer, the same one from the last night you had worked.
âGo for it.â The man nodded upwards, raising his glass to you for the go ahead.
You grabbed a fresh glass and the bottle of whiskey, quickly pouring the glass with a small flourish, just to show off and add a bit of entertainment. A great way to make that surely big tip grow in size.
âHere yaâ are, sir.â You placed the glass down with a smile, grabbing the empty one from him when your eyes trailed back to Sarah quickly, but it wasnât her that caught your attention, it was the newcomer making his way to the bar. Gator.
You placed the glass in the sink, eyes flickering back to Sarah and hoping she was making her way back over so you could switch sections for a while. But she was making small talk with a group of older ladies. That was always her best crowd aside from the creepy men always milling about, hoping that her or one of the other girls were working.
You took a deep breath, the heavy feeling of Gatorâs eyes already boring into you. You didnât want to serve him, you didnât even want to look in his direction right now. Well, you did want to look at him. You wanted everyone else to clear out and leave the two of you alone, truly alone where you could just be. But who knows what patrons were on Royâs personal payroll, just hoping to catch sight of something that would land them in his good graces. You hated taking that risk right now.
You crossed over to Gator who was sitting alone at the end of the bar, one of the only quiet sections in the whole place. You wished you couldâve just brought him a beer in silence and just walk away. But he was dressed for work; tactical vest and sheriff hat and gun strapped to his thigh. He was definitely not supposed to be sitting at a bar.
âIâm not servinâ yaâ.â You said simply, raising your brows as you challenged him to argue.
âIâm on break.â Gator argued, but his tone wasnât as gruff as it normally was, his argument not a real comeback but instead just a ruse.
âStill workinâ.â You fired back. âBest I can do is food and water.â
Gator huffed and rolled his eyes, his vision not going up and around but instead going over and down, clearly checking you out, and you couldnât help the small warmth that grew in your chest. Even under direct orders from Roy he still chose to come see you. You hated to tell him off, but it was all you could do.
âWater. Food.â You stated. âOne. Both. Or no service.â
Gatorâs face hardened, jaw locking in place, but his eyes were soft. âWater.â He spat.
âJeez.â You huffed. âBe a bit more enthusiastic, would yaâ?â
You turned around and grabbed him a glass of water, working faster than you normally would as your eyes quickly scanned the area, now on the lookout for anyone you recognized spending time with Roy. One of his little cronies. You didnât see any familiar faces, so you made your return to Gator slower than your escape.
âOne water.â You placed the glass down in front of him and he made no move to grab it. You took the opportunity to lean in, making sure to add a jab to keep face. âYou have to lift the glass in order to drink it, yaâ know?â You spoke slowly, as if to a toddler, and then changed to a quick, rushed whisper. âGo home, Gator.â
âIâm on patrol.â Gator muttered as he lifted the glass and took a sip, keeping his eyes on you as he stared you down. You matched the look, matching the act one minute movement at a time.
âRoy has eyes everywhere.â You said in a hushed tone, lips barely even moving.
âDonât care.â Gator slammed the glass back down, acting up the cocky attitude even more.
âScrew you.â You said, but the words didnât land like they usually would, and the look you gave him had his face falling just a fraction.
You turned your back to him and left again, having to force yourself not to spend any more time than was necessary talking to him. Roy didnât want you speaking to each other unless other people were present and, technically, other people were present. But you knew that a crowd of drunken patrons was not what he meant.
You went right back to work, refilling drinks, handing out food, wiping down surfaces when they got too dirty. You kept yourself in motion, hoping that the constant movement would keep your brain from running off. But every time you dared to sneak a glance at Gator he was still watching you. You refused to work that side of the bar for the rest of the night, getting Sarah to switch sections with you for a while. She agreed willingly, both for her sake and yours. You could see that the constant ogling was getting to her.
You grabbed a tray of fresh beers and made your way over to the pool table where a group of younger men were being obnoxiously loud and rowdy. No curtesy given to anyone, not even themselves as they spoke animatedly about hunting and women. And, to say the least, they were not happy to see you instead of Sarah.
âWhereâs the girl?â One of the guys asked, an empty beer in one hand a pool cue in the other.
âWe switched.â You said as you started offloading the beers onto the table. âShe was out here for the first half of the night and now sheâs back there.â You played it off like it was normal, like that was how it worked. But, in reality, all of you just filtered throughout the bar wherever needed.
âThatâs a shame.â A second guy laughed, a sickening smirk crossing his face and it reminded you all too much of Jack and Roy and their burning, claiming touches. âMight have to make our way over there after this round.â
The other guys laughed, loud and boisterous and predatory. You smiled lightly, tilting your head slightly in that go to customer service way and not in the way that said you actually agreed.
âWhenâs she workinâ again?â The first guy asked, leaning in a bit as if it was all some shared secret.
âDonât know.â You shrugged politely. âProbably a day shift.â You added the last part as you couldnât hold your tongue, but you made it sound like a stupid joke as to not cause a fight. You were not in the mood for that right now.
The second guy chuckled lowly. âMight have to call in sick.â
The rest of the guys laughed, throwing out their own comments as you quickly cleaned up the finished bottles and weaved your way back over to the bar. They were disgusting, all of them. This whole town was disgusting. You had only met a handful of people during your lifetime imprisonment in this town that were actually good people. And even those that you thought were good turned out to be complete monsters. You wanted to leave so badly, go somewhere where you could get lost in a crowd and nobody would even know your face, let alone your name and all the history that went along with it. You just wanted to go anywhere that wasnât under Royâs control.
When you rounded to the backside of the bar you glanced over at Gator, just to see if he was still watching you. But he wasnât there. You thought he mightâve gone off to the bathroom, but there was a receipt and cash sitting on the bar top. He left. He just up and left without saying a word or doing anything to get your attention. You knew it was the best option right now, to follow Royâs orders and just ignore each other. But, for some reason, it still hurt. You wished he wouldâve at least waited until you came back to the bar to refill the tray with new orders, catch your eye for just a second as he paid for his water. But, no, he disappeared just like he always did.
~~~~~
The bar had closed about an hour ago and the place was almost all cleaned up, you and Sarah working almost double time in order to get out of there as fast as possible. You didnât particularly want to leave, didnât want to go back to the ranch where Roy might be waiting for you. But poor Sarah was almost dragging her feet from how utterly exhausted she was, eyes half lidded and yawning every five seconds.
âHey.â You called out and Sarah turned to you where she was replacing clean glasses.
âYeah?â She asked, looking like it took her a second to process your words.
âWhy donât yaâ go home?â You suggested. âYaâ look like youâre about to fall over.â
âThereâs stillââ Sarah cut herself off with a yawn, shaking her head to try and clear the bleariness. âThereâs still dishes to wash.â
âIâll wash the dishes.â You laughed at the way she just stared at you, blinking hard every so often to keep herself alert. âGo home. Donât need yaâ fallinâ asleep in the car.â
âYeah.â Sarah sighed. âOkay.â
âGrab your stuff.â You nodded towards the back of the bar. âIâll walk yaâ out.â
Sarah just nodded and set the glass in her hand down before rounding towards the door and disappearing into the back, yawning again as she pushed the door open. God, she looked like sheâd tip over from the slightest breeze.
Sarah returned a few seconds later, her purse slung over her shoulder and keys out in her hand. You always walked your female coworkers to their cars, always afraid someone would be out there waiting for them. Especially someone who had been at the bar, like that group of guys joking about calling in sick just to see her. You werenât about to let anything happen to her. You knew all too well the pain that came from that.
You unlocked the front door and held it open for her, eyes glancing around the dark parking lot as you stepped outside. Sarah didnât say anything during the short walk, looking too tired to do much except keep herself alert. She unlocked the car and slipped inside, your eyes still darting around the lot.
âGood night.â You smiled.
âNight.â Sarah yawned as you closed the door for her.
You waited until the car was locked and started and driving down the road, disappearing into the night until only the red glow of her taillights could be seen. You headed back inside once she was gone, half wanting to speed through the dishes so you could just lay down in your bed, and half wanting to prolong the cleaning for as long as possible so that there was zero chance Roy would still be up and waiting.
You headed straight for the back room door, pushing it open and turning into the kitchen when you froze, breath catching in your throat as you saw someone standing there with their back to you. But you recovered quickly, shock and fear turning to surprise and anger when you realized who it was.
âGator?â You called out incredulously and he quickly whipped around to you, still dressed for work and a new vape in hand. âWhat hell are yaâ doinâ? Yaâ canât be here right now. If Roy finds out whatââ
âI donât care.â Gator quickly cut you off, words rushed and forceful. And then he quickly ducked his head, eyes fixing themselves to your shoes. âI just wanted to see yaâ.â He mumbled quietly, as if scared to even say the words.
You felt yourself instantly deflate, the anger melting away and morphing into protectiveness as you looked at Gatorâs sullen form. He was only this nervous when Roy was angry, and even then he still put on the cocky attitude right afterwards. He had started to show a softer side to himself during your quiet moments alone during the past few weeks, but he had never been like this.
âGator.â You said softly, gentle hands reaching out to grab his arms, but he still refused to lift his head. âGatorâŠâ You trailed off, your own fear building in your chest as you prepared yourself for what you were about to say. Were you gonna say it? You didnât know how Gator was gonna react. But he had to know. âGator, Roy is never gonna give up his control. Not willingly, okay? And I canât stay here anymore. I wonât.â
Gatorâs head finally lifted at that, big brown eyes glassy with unshed tears. âYouâre leavinâ?â He asked, voice choked and barely above a whisper.
âYes.â You said sternly, hands gripping tightly to his arms. âAnd youâre cominâ with me.â
âNo.â Gator shook his head, the fear rising to the surface again as it mixed with the sadness. âYaâ canât leave. Yaâ canât. Heâll find yaâ.â
You took a steady breath and fixed Gator with a determined look. âHe canât find me if heâs trapped in Hell.â
Gatorâs fear switched to terror in an instant, quickly pushing your hands off of him as he took a step back. He just stared at you for a moment, brain both short circuiting and running a hundred miles an hour as he tried to decipher if you were serious or not. And you were. You had swore to yourself that afternoon that you were going to kill Roy Tillman. And now, after seeing how terrified Gator was at just the thought of Roy tracking you down if you left, you were going to make good on that promise. You were going to kill Roy, and you were gonna do it soon. And you were going to get Gator the hell out of Stark County.
âHow?â Gatorâs cracked and timid voice broke you from your thoughts. âYaâ canât.â
âI am going to kill him.â You said determinedly. âEven if itâs the last thing I do.â
âNo.â Gator shook his head violently, stepping forward and grabbing onto your arms. âYaâ canât do it. Yaâ canât. Heâll kill yaâ first. Yaâ wonât even be able to get close enough toââ
You leaned forward and pressed your lips against his, effectively cutting off his arguments. It was a short kiss, soft and sweet and tender and filled with the promise of safety. Gator suffered too much for too long.
You slowly pulled back from Gator and he just stared at you, cheeks tinged with pink. âRoy Tillman will be six feet under before the ground is too hard to dig.â
I know I donât have a set schedule or posting, and I only plan to release new chapters whenever I write them. But I know Iâve been updating Ripping At Skin very frequently. Just wanna let yâall know that a new chapter is on the way, Iâve just been busy and still have things going on, but Iâm writing what I can when I have the time, slowly chipping away at it. Also, even if I do take a while to update this work or any of my future works I will never abandon my stories.
Thank you to everyone who has read my story, Iâm so happy you guys are enjoying it! And donât worry, Roy will not be breathing by the end of it!
Summary: Your mom had married Roy two years ago, wanting a man with money and status. She died one year ago, after only a year of marriage, leaving you alone on that godforsaken ranch. All you wanted to do was leave, but Roy saw you as his own now and he would never let you go.
TW: mentions of abuse, ptsd, pseudocest (not really, the readerâs mom died a year ago and Roy already remarried)
Story Masterlist
Male Characters Masterlist
You watched from the front porch as Royâs truck drove away, dirt kicking up as he rounded the corner towards the entrance and disappeared. He was gone, he left. He wouldnât be back until Sunday night, an entire forty-eight hours without him breathing down your neck, yanking you around, or demanding something be cleaned.
You turned around and headed back inside, too happy to control the pep in your step. Two weeks ago you wouldâve hated the idea of being home alone with Gator. But now, it was heaven on earth. A blissful two days free of any work. And your arm was healing just fine, so you figured youâd be able to defy Roy after he got back and return to work.
âHey.â Gator called out as you headed for the stairs, the prospect of a long, hot shower practically making you melt on the spot. âYou, uh⊠we doinâ dinner?â
You turned to him, brows scrunched. Well, of course you were having dinner, especially with Roy gone. What kind of question is that? Oh, right, the kind of question that comes when you donât know how to cook.
âYeah.â You nodded. âBut Iâm takinâ a shower first.â
âGood.â Gator scrunched his face in disgust. âCause yaâ smell like shit.â
âThank you.â You said sarcastically, practically running up the stairs.
You really did stink, and you were starving. Gator had managed to sneak you that granola bar and burger a few days ago, but not a whole lot after that. Roy had spent too much time on the ranch and sneaking around with him there was the definition of impossible. But at least you had gotten some food. And now you were gonna have a long, hot shower, actually getting the chance to clean the dirt off of yourself after the quick, one minute sessions Roy had imposed for the last week because, according to him, thatâs how the soldiers do it.
~~~~~
When you returned to the kitchen, hair still damp and dressed in a clean pair of pajamas because you were not going to do a damn thing, Gator was also changed, lounging on the couch scrolling through his phone, your vape held in his hand as he took the occasional puff.
You snuck up behind him, being sure to avoid the squeaky spots on the floor. You did tell him to just take your vape, but he seriously couldnât go out and buy his own buy his own by now? It was ridiculous. He was always so lazy.
You threw out your good arm as fast as you could, hand open and aimed for the vape in his own. But he saw you a second too soon and he threw his arm to the side, holding the vape just out of reach.
âGive it back.â You demanded.
âNo.â Gator turned to you. âYaâ told me to take it. I ainât givinâ it back now.â
âItâs mine.â You argued.
âYaâ gave it to me.â He retorted.
âTo borrow.â You exclaimed.
âNot what yaâ said.â Gator smirked, hand with the vape refusing to move any closer.
You squinted your eyes, glaring at him. And then you threw your arm out again, practically throwing yourself halfway over the back of the couch in order to reach out far enough. You managed to grab a hold of his wrist, keeping him locked in place. But so were you, and at that angle your free arm couldnât reach far enough. But if you let go of his wrist to try and grab the vape then he would just take it away again. Before you could even settle on what to do Gator snatched the vape up with his own free hand and held it even further out of your reach.
âCome on.â You whined. âWould yaâ just give it back?â
âJust buy a new one.â Gator said, like it was obvious, and you just stared at him for a moment, the weight of your punishment weighing down on you. âIâll buy yaâ a new one.â He said quickly, his face showing the same thoughts.
You quickly switched your gaze back into a glare. âBuy yourself a new one.â
You didnât have anything else to say, and there was no way you were going to be able to steal the vape back now that he knew you were gunning for it, so you simply pushed yourself up with a huff. You could feel his eyes following you as you crossed back into the kitchen, trying to busy yourself with making dinner. You were starving anyway, and Gator was useless.
âWatchaâ makinâ?â Gator called out as you rummaged through the cabinets and the fridge, trying to find something quick and easy.
âPasta.â You said simply.
âPasta.â Gator mocked.
You rolled your eyes to yourself as you grabbed the box from the cabinet, eyes trailing to the floor for a moment when you froze. There was a small, almost hidden speck of red between the cracks of the wood. Your blood. God, how much did you bleed the other night that there was still blood on the floor? So much that even Karen hadnât been able to get it all out?
You forced your eyes back up, shoving the thoughts to the back of your mind. You had bled in this house so many times that you surely shouldâve been dead by now. So why was this one incident affecting you so much? It wasnât like the blade slicing open your flesh was all that surprising or abnormal for Roy. But his hand on your face? His possessive thumb brushing across your lips? God, that terrified you like nothing else. It terrified you more than Jack. Because you knew what Roy was capable of, and you knew that he never held back from getting what he wanted. Jesus Christ, did he want you?
âHey.â Gatorâs voice snapped you back to reality and you realized you were still frozen there, box of pasta in your hands and eyes staring blankly at the stove. âYaâ good?â He asked and that immediately switched your terror to confusion.
âWhat?â You whipped around to him, mouth slightly agape as you tried to make your brain form words, any word.
âYaâ spaced out there.â Gator said cautiously, slowly rising from the couch and crossing into the kitchen.
âJust⊠I got distracted.â You lied, eyes flickering down to the spot of blood and then back up at him.
Gator followed your gaze, his eyes landing on the stained wood, and his face softened. âGuess Karen didnât do such a good job.â He tried to joke, tried to lighten the mood, but he didnât stick the landing.
âYeah.â You nodded noncommittally before snapping yourself back out of it. âGet me a pot.â
Gatorâs brows scrunched, mouth opening and closing for a moment as he was taken aback by your sudden change in demeanor. And then he clamped his mouth shut and got you the pot.
~~~~~
The two of you ate your dinner in silence, sitting on the couch with the tv on but neither of you actually paying attention. It was some old reruns of a sitcom, something that Roy never allowed to play on his screen. He only ever listened to the news, getting riled up by every word.
Gator had stood back as you cooked, watching you and taking the occasional hit of your vape as he waited for you to tell him what to do. It surprised you that he hung around, that he leant a hand. You had expected him to go right back into the living room, plop down on the couch and scroll through his phone until you told him it was time to eat. But he stayed with you willingly, staying silent and attentive as he awaited orders. And he didnât even burn anything this time.
âIâm bored.â You announced plainly.
âThen do somethinâ.â Gator said, feet up on the table and lounged back into the cushions as his eyes never left the screen.
You then thought of something, something that might be really fun and could help take your mind off of everything for a bit. You pushed yourself off the couch, a small smirk forming on your face and refusing to leave as you headed for the kitchen. You snatched up a bottle of whiskey and grabbed two shot glasses. You werenât sure if Gator would even go along with this, never brave enough to venture past a few beers. But with Roy gone for the next two days you thought you might be able to coax him into it.
You placed the bottle of whiskey and the shot glasses onto the table by his feet, earning his attention as his eyes drifted to the drink and his brows furrowed. He removed his feet from the table and sat up slowly, eyes flickering between you and the shot glasses and back again.
âWhatâs this?â Gator asked.
âWhiskey.â You stated as you sat back down.
âWhy?â He asked cautiously.
âCause Iâm bored.â You shrugged. âNow I wonât be bored. Weâre gonna drink.â
âI ainât havinâ whiskey.â Gator waved his arms in the air, eyes locked on the amber bottle.
âItâs a game.â You explained. âTruth or drink. We ask each other questions and if yaâ donât answer then yaâ have to take a shot.â
âNo.â Gator shook his head, looking back up to meet your eyes. âNo.â He said sternly.
âOh, come on.â You smiled. âJust this once. No oneâs home and yaâ ainât gotta work.â
âYouâre tryinâ to pressure me.â Gator pointed an accusing finger at you and you froze for a second, images of Jack flashing through your mind.
âIâm just tryinâ to have fun.â You said, words faltering a bit. âAinât had fun for two weeks.â
Gatorâs eyes dropped back down to the whiskey as he wiped a hand over his mouth. âFine.â He huffed. âPour the damn whiskey.â
You couldnât keep the satisfied smile off of your face as you opened the whiskey and poured out the two shots. You had just gotten Gator to agree to something, you had never gotten him to agree to anything before.
âAll right.â You said as you placed the bottle back down and turned to him. âWhatâs your favorite color?â
âSeriously?â Gator asked incredulously. âThatâs what yaâ start with?â
You let out a small laugh âJust tryinâ to ease yaâ into the game.â
Gator rolled his eyes. âBlue.â
You stared at him, waiting for him to ask you a question, but it looked like he wasnât even trying to think of one. âYaâ gotta ask me a question.â
âOh, uhâŠâ Gator trailed off, eyes drifting around the room as you watched the gears in his brain turn. âWhatâs your favorite candy?â
âThree Musketeers.â You answered quickly, just itching to ask your next question. âWho was your first kiss?â
Gator froze, like a deer caught in headlights, and then he swiped the shot glass from the table and downed it in one go. His face grimaced as he tried to hold back his cough, not used to the burn. But you just couldnât believe that he had taken the shot. It was such a simple question and, yet, he completely refused to answer you.
âOh, come on.â You complained. âThat was an easy one.â
âYaâ said answer or take a shot.â Gator said with a noncommittal shrug as he grabbed the whiskey and refilled the shot glass. âSo I drank.â
âGod.â You let out a long, exaggerated sigh, earning the shadow of a smile from Gator.
âAll right.â Gator cleared his throat and the smile disappeared completely. âWhyâd yaâ start workinâ at the bar?â
âNo where else.â You shrugged. âMy dad was friends with the manager.â
Gator hummed and nodded his head, offering you zero verbal response. You didnât know if that was a good thing or a bad thing. A part of you wanted him to ask a follow up question, to want to know more about those years between school and your parentsâ marriage. But he just sat there, silent, waiting for you to continue the game.
âOkay. My turn.â You tapped your fingers against your knee as you thought, trying to think of something deeper to ask and that he would actually answer. Just something that wasnât âwhatâs his favorite blank.â âWhatâs one place that youâve always wanted to go?â
Gator shifted uncomfortably for a second, eyes dropping to your chest. âIâve always wanted to go to Disney World.â
âDisney world?â You echoed and he gave you a small nod in response. âIâve been once, when I was young.â
âWas it fun?â Gator asked, eyes trailing back up to your face.
âIt was the best.â You smiled. âGuess weâll have to plan a trip.â
That earned a laugh from the both of you. The thought of planning a trip like that was endearing, but you both knew it was impossible. But now all you wanted to do was take Gator there. Let him experience the magic of childhood that he was never allowed to have.
âAll right.â Gator took a deep breath, getting his small fit of laughter under control before fixing you with a serious look that you mockingly returned. âWhatâs your biggest fear?â
That question caught you off guard. It was a simple one, one most often asked during truth or dare and truth or drink. But you couldnât tell him your biggest fear, because you werenât exactly clear on what it was. But, right now, it wasnât Jackâs hands on your body, and it wasnât you catching feelings for Gator either. It was Roy. Not his beatings or his insults. It was the way his hand had grabbed your face, the way his thumb brushed across your lips. It was the way he had held you in place, bare chest just an inch from you as he said you looked like your mother.
You grabbed the shot glass and downed the drink in one swift motion, offering zero reaction for the burn you knew all too well. Gatorâs eyes squinted almost imperceptibly as he watched you, as he tried to figure out why you had deflected his question so harshly. And you waited, nearly breathless for him to say something. But he didnât. He just watched you, straightening himself out as you refilled your shot glass.
You took in a small breath and turned your attention back to Gator. âWhatâs your biggest fear?â
Gator huffed, almost sounding like a laugh, and then he did laugh, a few, genuine chuckles leaving him as he smiled, a smile so wide that you could see his dimples. You didnât even know he had dimples. It was cute.
âSpiders.â Gator finally said, still smiling.
âSpiders?â You echoed, genuinely not expecting him to have answered, or for his biggest fear to be something as simple as spiders.
âTheyâre disgustinâ.â Gator gave a mock shiver. âAll those damn legs anâ eyes.â He shook his head, like he was trying to clear the thought away. âNo.â
âTheyâre arachnids.â You mocked lightly. âGuess yaâ are educated.â
âShut up.â Gator huffed, lips turning downwards into a frown. âWhatâs your favorite ice cream?â
âYaâ really know how to ask those hard hitting questions.â You joked, reaching out for the shot glass and downing it.
âThe hell?â Gator asked, completely flabbergasted by your action.
âI just wanted a drink.â You waved him off. âMy favoriteâs mint chocolate chip.â
âThose ainât the rules.â Gator huffed in complaint, pouting like a toddler.
You grabbed his full shot glass and held it out to him. âHere. Then weâll be even.â
Gator stared at the shot glass for a moment, eyes flickering up to you and then back down and then he took it. He downed it quickly, face grimacing instantly, looking even more pained than the first time as he coughed lightly.
âHow do yaâ drink this shit?â Gator complained.
âCause I like the effects.â You took the glass back and put it on the table. âThere.â You said as you refilled the glasses. âHappy?â
âNo.â Gator frowned and, God, maybe you needed another drink because he really did look adorable right now. âWho was your first kiss?â
You thought about it for a moment, mouth open to provide the answer. And you grabbed your shot glass and drank it. You knew who your first kiss was, and you werenât embarrassed about it, but it was a guy that Gator really hated. The two of them constantly at each otherâs throats back in high school. You didnât want to spoil the mood by bringing up his name. You were genuinely having fun with Gator, and you didnât want to ruin that.
âSeriously?â Gator said, deadpanned. âYouâre not gonna tell me after makinâ a big fuss about me not sayinâ?â
âIf yaâ tell me yours, Iâll tell yaâ mine.â You threw up the ultimatum, waiting to see if he could catch it. And when he stayed silent you smirked at him. âWho was your first kiss?â You asked.
Gatorâs lips twitched, looking like he wanted to sneer or snarl at you, frustrated that you had asked the unanswerable question again, forcing him to grab the shot glass and take the drink with yet another grimace.
âStupid.â Gator grumbled as he refilled the glass.
âWhat?â You asked, feigning innocence. âMe or the game?â
Gator glared at you. âBoth.â
âWanna stop playinâ?â You asked genuinely, because Gator was starting to look like he was having a bad time, the easy look on his face hardening back up. And you didnât want to see that, you didnât want to be the cause of it.
âNo.â Gator sighed. âWhatâs your favorite color?â
âNo.â You shook your head and Gatorâs face scrunched in confusion. âIt ainât your turn to ask. Thatâs a penalty.â
âA penalty?â Gator echoed incredulously. âThe hell yaâ mean a penalty?â
âI mean a penalty.â You grabbed his shot glass and held it out to him. âNow drink.â
âAre you serious?â Gator fixed you with a look and you just shoved the glass closer to him. âStupid.â He grumbled again as he took the glass and downed the amber liquid.
You took the glass back from him and refilled it, wracking your brain for your next question. A part of you wanted to switch back to easier questions, ones that Gator would answer and that you could actually learn something from. But you had just taken three shots in less than thirty minutes and the other part of your brain was screaming at you.
âHow old were yaâ when yaâ had your first kiss?â You asked, knowing that he wasnât going to answer you. And you were right. He took the glass and reluctantly downed another shot.
âFuck.â Gator coughed. âShitâs disgustinâ.â He reached into his pocket and pulled out your vape, taking a long drag of the mint to help mask the burn of the whiskey.
You watched him intently, eyes trained on his lips. No, not his lips. You were watching your vape. You were definitely not watching Gatorâs lips right now. You waited until he pulled the vape away from his lips and you threw your arm out, successfully wrapping your hand around the device and snatching it out of his grasp.
âHey.â Gator complained, voice slurred and movements sloppy as he reached out to take your vape back.
Oh, you really did it now. You got Gator Tillman drunk. Like, drunk drunk. You had seen him tipsy before, straddling the border of drunk. But you had never seen him so gone that he was slurring and moving blindly. You caught his eye and you focused on his pupils. They were blown wide. But itâs not like you were exactly sober right now. You were drunk, just past the point of buzzed that the room swam a little bit. But you were no where near Gatorâs level. But if he was going to end up wasted, then screw it, so were you.
You snatched up your filled shot glass and downed it before slamming it back down on the table. You brought the vape up to your mouth and took a long drag from it as your other hand grabbed the bottle of whiskey and you poured yourself another shot, the smoke slowly escaping through your noise and clouding the air. You took the glass and quickly downed the new shot.
âWhatâre yaâ doinâ?â Gator slurred.
âDrinkinâ.â You said simply as you turned back to face him, the back to back shots, all them taken within the last half hour going straight to your brain.
You and Gator were on equal footing now, both five shots deep, and you decided to cut it off there. You were still just a step behind him in the drunkenness due to your years of built up tolerance. But anymore and you might throw up in the morning. Gator was definitely going to have the worst morning of his life tomorrow.
Gator just stared at you, his eyes a little glossy and distant. His eyes were locked with yours, but you couldnât decipher any emotion from them. He was just sitting there, breathing, gazing at you. And then his eyes flickered down, locking on your lips before coming back up to your eyes and he leaned forward, his whiskey coated lips unsteadily crashing into yours.
You felt your breath hitch, catching in the back of your throat as you froze. Gatorâs lips were on yours. He was kissing you. Gator was kissing you, his lips soft and slightly chapped and incredibly sloppy from his drunken state and your body finally caught up to your brain and you kissed him back, eyes fluttering closed as you steadied out his drunk lips with your slightly less drunk ones.
Gatorâs hand flew out and landed on your waist, pulling you closer to him as your lips continued to move together, like they were always meant to be doing that. You had expected Gator to be a more forceful kisser; hungry and needy. But he was just so gentle right now that you nearly melted into him, your chests going flush as you moved in closer. And then Gator froze, and you froze, and you both realized what you had done as you slowly and carefully broke apart.
âIâm really drunk.â Gator whispered, that look of fear flashing behind his eyes.
âSo am I.â You breathed and then moved back in, hand reaching up to cup his cheek as you reconnected your lips.
Gator hummed softly against you as his hand found its way back to your waist, pulling you in and making your chests go flush once more. You grabbed his own waist, squeezing it just slightly as your hand on his face slowly trailed its way to the back of his neck and started playing with the gelled hair, softening it out.
Gatorâs own hand flew up, gently cupping your face as he brushed his thumb across your cheek. And his touch was nothing like Royâs possessive swipe across your lip or Jackâs burning grip on your chin. Because this was Gator, the real Gator hidden behind the mask. And the real Gator was just so tender that you melted into his touch.
Gatorâs mouth parted slightly, his tongue brushing against your lips and asking for permission, and before you could think about it you opened your own mouth, letting him in. And then you realize what you had done and the fear that he would be expecting more from you rose in your chest. But he just continued to stay gentle, his hand on your waist never moving to explore elsewhere and the one on your face never tightening its hold. And you realized that he didnât want more either, he just wanted this. He wanted the softness, he wanted the tenderness. He just wanted you.
Gator broke away slowly, your hands still holding each other as his eyes stayed closed for another moment before fluttering open, yours following suit as the two of you just sat there, faces only an inch apart, slightly breathless. Gatorâs face then fell, his forehead connecting with yours and staying there for a moment, your whiskey covered breaths mingling between you before he slowly moved his head down, forehead hitting your shoulder before he turned and buried his head into the crook of your neck.
Gatorâs hand fell from your face and he slowly, as if he were scared, wrapped his arms around you, arms encircling your middle. You couldnât wrap your mind around what he was doing, what he was feeling, but he was seeking your comfort, that much was obvious. So you moved one arm to wrap around him, hand landing gently on his side as you held him close to you. Your other hand trailed its way up the back of his neck and to the top of his head where you slowly and carefully carded your fingers through his hair, gently brushing out the gel until it was back to its natural state, soft and floppy.
You were screwed, completely fucked. You had kissed Gator, he had kissed you back. If Roy ever found out about this then you two were dead. Really, truly dead. Heâd probably dish out every form of torture imaginable before finally putting a bullet through your brains and dumping your bodies below that windmill. The thought scared you, completely terrified you. But with Gator in your arms, so vulnerable and open and completely unreadable, you vowed to yourself that you would never let that happen to him. That you would figure out a way to get him off of that ranch and as far away from Roy as you possibly could. You would make sure that happened even if you couldnât follow along.
~~~~~
When you woke up in the morning the two of you were still on the couch, your bodies turned to each other as Gator laid curled up on the edge of the cushions, his head tucked against your chest. You had your good arm resting up and around the back of his head, fingers still threaded in his hair as your bad arm was draped over his back. His own arms were curled up in front of him, fingers grazing the fabric of your shirt.
He looked so peaceful right now, even more relaxed than he had been when you had slept in his truck. You could already feel your headache aching behind your eyes, but luckily the two of you had stuck with the whiskey all night, so you were mostly okay. Give it two hours and a couple painkillers and youâd be as good as new. Gator, however, yeah, it was gonna be hell.
You leaned your head down and pressed your lips against his hair, now all soft and mussed thanks to you. You liked it better this way, always had. The first time he had slicked back his hair, all the way back in sophomore year, you had almost grimaced at the sight. It wasnât as perfectly styled as it was now, all pushed to the side and the ends refusing to stay down. It wasnât a good look, but he learned. You still didnât like the gel, but he figured out how to make it look good. Then again, Gator always looked good.
Gator shifted slightly, a small hum rumbling against your chest before his eyes cracked open. He shifted back slightly, soft eyes blearily looking up at you. And then you could see it in the drop of his features, the widening of his eyes. A wave of nausea rolled over him.
You quickly shot up from beside him, retracting your arms before reaching back out again and helping him rise to his feet as fast as possible as he held his mouth clamped shut. He went running out of the room and down the hallway, the sound of the bathroom door swinging open echoing throughout the house. And then you could hear him retching.
You took a few deep breaths to steady yourself, the fast movement jostling your brain and aggravating your stomach. But you managed to get the feeling under control because you didnât also need to go puking right now.
You slowly rose from the couch and made your way to the bathroom where Gator was kneeling on the floor, arms resting on the seat of the toilet as he gripped tightly to the white porcelain, body hunched all the way forward as he practically puked his guts up into the water.
You slowly knelt down beside him and placed your hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles. You could see the sheen of a cold sweat across his skin and reached your free hand up to the sink, grabbing whatever towel you could find and wetting it under the water before bringing it up to his face. Gator sighed in relief as you dabbed the damp cloth over his forehead and cheeks before resting it against the back of his neck.
âSorry.â You apologized. âI shouldnât have made yaâ do so many shots.â
âDidnât make me.â Gator rasped. âI agreed.â
âEither way.â You sighed, bringing up a side of the cloth to dab at his cheek again. âYouâve never had anythinâ other than beer.â
Gator groaned as he turned and glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. âHow are yaâ not pukinâ?â
âI didnât mix.â You shrugged, earning another groan of complaint as he turned back towards the toilet. âIâm fine if I donât mix.â
âYouâre not hungover?â Gator asked with a grimace. âWe had like ten shots a piece.â
âFive.â You corrected. âAnd I have a headache. But, again, I didnât mix. And Iâve had things a lot fuckinâ stronger than shots.â
âLike that mystery cooler punch at graduation?â Gator asked with a small smile.
âOh, God.â You laughed. âThat shit was delicious. But it had me pukinâ out my guts for hours. Had a hell of a time, though.â
âI know. I saw it all.â Gatorâs smile widened, eyes going distant. âYaâ kissed me that night.â
âW-what?â You stammered, body freezing, your comforting movements halting as your brain began to short circuit. You kissed Gator that night? When? Where? And why had he never brought this up before? And what in the hell had possessed you to do that? This had to be a joke, right? A way to get back at you for forcing all those shots on him.
âYou were already at the point aâ blackinâ out.â Gator explained, eyes still distant as he seemed to perfectly recall the memory. The memory that was apparently very real. âCame into the bathroom while I was pissinâ. Took yaâ about a good minute to notice me. I walked over and tried to push yaâ out the door when yaâ full body leaned forward and kissed me.â
âI⊠I donât remember any of that.â You whispered, your brain trying to recall the events of that night, but it all came back as a blur. You had drunk everything offered to you, you had ridden around in the bed of someoneâs truck. But you could only barely recall the blurry face of Gator off in the corner, nursing his beer as he tried and failed to flirt with some of the girls.
âLike I said.â Gator rasped and your attention snapped back to him, back to the present him where his eyes seemed to focus again. âYaâ were already at the point aâ blackinâ out. I pushed yaâ off, told yaâ to go find your friends. Took yaâ another minute to register what I said. Then yaâ took my beer and walked off. Yaâ didnât even say nothinâ.â
Realization then hit you like a goddamn hurricane. The way Gator had deflected that first question, the way he had downed the shot as he refused to give an answer. As he refused to tell you who his first kiss was.
âWait a minute.â You said slowly, a small smile spreading across your face. âWas I your first kiss?â
You could see the blush creeping its way up his neck and onto his cheeks, the way his eyes fixed onto the toilet. âYeah.â He answer, voice barely above a whisper.
âYaâ didnât kiss anyone in school?â You asked, genuinely curious.
âNo.â He said sheepishly. âI tried, asked some girls out. They all said no.â
That confession, that knowledge, it just broke your heart. Gator was a jackass back then, still was to basically anyone that wasnât you. But there seriously wasnât a single girl that wanted to kiss him? That wanted to be able to say that they had been with a Tillman, even if they were afraid of them? You thought that, despite his personality, his looks had still managed to get him dates. It did now, but apparently not then.
You resumed your soothing rubbing on his back as you leaned over and planted a light kiss on his cheek. âIâm not sayinâ no.â
Gatorâs eyes widened slightly, his head tilting up before slowly turning towards you, shock written all across his features. âYouâre not?â He asked quietly, like he was afraid of the answer.
âIâm not.â You confirmed with a soft smile and Gator smiled back, that real, genuine smile that showed off his dimples. And you leaned over and placed a kiss right on them, causing him to blush again.
~~~~~
You and Gator had been sitting on the couch for the last few hours as he nursed hisâto your very much extreme surpriseâfirst hangover. You were completely shocked to find out that he had never had a hangover before. But you supposed it would make sense since he never drank more than a few beers in a night. Never enough to ever inhibit his driving.
You had managed to get him to eat a slice of toast earlier, and he was already on to his second glass of water. You half expected him to just power through it, to insist that he was fine and go about his day normally. But after he had finally gotten everything out of his stomach and into the toilet he had turned into such a baby. He was groaning with every slight ache to his head, complaining every time his mouth went dry. And then heâd sigh in content when you comforted him. Something you were sure he had never experienced before. Maybe when he was really young and his mom was still around, but not anymore. And although you had finally come back to yourself and realized how weird this whole situation really was, you also couldnât find a single thing to complain about. Content to just sit there with him and provide him the comfort that he had been lacking since the day he was born.
âMy head still hurts.â Gator complained.
âItâs gonna.â You mused, eyes never leaving the tv. âYaâ had five shots in thirty minutes. And yaâ ainât ever had more than beer. Youâre gonna be feelinâ like hell all day.â
âHow do yaâ do it?â Gator huffed. âHow do yaâ just go about your business?â
You sighed and finally turned to him, his eyes already on you. âIâve built up a tolerance. Many years of drinkinâ mystery shit and I rarely get more than a headache âless I mix.â
âI hate it.â Gator pouted. âI ainât ever drinkinâ this shit again.â
You threw up your hands in mock surrender. âI said the same shit and then I drank. And I drank again and again and again. And now look at me.â You put on a cocky smile. âIâm immune.â
âYouâre annoying is what yaâ are.â Gator mumbled, army crossing over his chest as he turned towards the tv.
âAnd youâre a baby.â That earned a sideways glare from him. âSuck it up, sweetheart.â You gave him a mocking pat on the shoulder. âDonât want the ranch hands seeinâ yaâ like this.â
Gator turned his head back towards you, lips going from a pout to a frown. âArenât yaâ sâposed to be workinâ?â
âProbably.â You shrugged. âBut he ainât leave a list or tell me nothinâ. So I ainât doinâ nothinâ.â
Gator nodded his head with a distant hum, eyes dropping to your chest. There probably was something you were supposed to be doing, some nonsensical continuation of your punishment. But Roy really hadnât said anything, nor did he leave any type of list. You figured now was as good a time as any to start defying him again. And you didnât want to leave Gatorâs side right now. And not because he was still nursing his hangover, but because this was probably the last chance the two of you were going to get to be completely alone for a while. And you wanted to savor it.
~~~~~
Gator had recovered by the late afternoon, the two of you never leaving the house for anything. A few of the ranch hands came by a couple times, telling Gator about any problems and asking him what else needs to be done. He answered them in his usual gruff bravado. Puffing out his chest and barking orders like he was the man of the house, and then the moment the door was closed his shoulders relaxed and the crease in his brow disappeared. The cockiness, it was just the mask being pulled into place, just like it always did. Because if the workers saw who he was when the door was closed then they might go talking, and Roy might end up hearing, and then both of you would end up either chained up or with bullets in your brains, or maybe both.
The sun had set a little while ago, staying out and illuminating the world for as long as possible in that muggy, mid summer air. The ranch hands and other workers had left, nothing left to do at the ranch with Roy away. You were standing in the kitchen, trying to decide what to cook for dinner when Gator walked in, your vape held in his mouth as he took a hit.
âWhat the hell?â You exclaimed as he exhaled the smoke slowly, letting fill the air between you and curl up around your face. âWhereâd yaâ get it?â
âThe couch.â Gator shrugged. âMustaâ fell outta your pocket.â
âWell, give it back.â You held your hand out, the other one flying to your hip as you fixed him with a stern look.
âYaâ not want my mouth on it or somethinâ?â He smirked, that cocky, brazen attitude fitting into place easily as he crawled his was under your skin.
âGive it.â You demanded, trying not to fall into the childish trap. But it was damn near impossible when he always made himself such an easy target.
Gator slowly lifted the vape back up to his mouth, purposefully taking the longest drag possible and then letting it out slowly, the smoke hitting you right in the face, making your eyes flutter slightly, the smell of mint hitting your nose and the taste lightly coating your tongue. Tasting it at the same moment he was tasting it, you were hit with the realization that he doesnât smoke mint vapes. He always has some weird fruit flavor. But you didnât let his actions or your thoughts falter your glare.
âLetâs do somethinâ.â Gator said.
âLike what?â You asked.
âI donât know.â He shrugged. âLetâs just get outta here.â
You planted both hands on your hips. âRoy said no fuckinâ off.â
âHe said no fuckinâ off in the middle of the day.â He retorted. âItâs night.â
âWhat an astute observation.â You mocked. âYaâ come to that conclusion all by yourself?â
âYaâ sure like makinâ fun of my intelligence.â Gator said as he took a small step forward.
âI call it as I see it.â You shrugged.
His eyes flickered down to your lips for a moment, that soft look crossing over his eyes before he shot his gaze back up. âCome on.â He coaxed. âEveryoneâs gone. Ainât no one gonna know if weâre gone, too.â
âFine.â You let out a long, exasperated sigh, dropping your hands from your hips. âBut wherever we go, we better get food.â
Gator nodded with a small smile, happy that he had won the small argument, something that he had never done before. But it would be nice to get out of the house, to leave the ranch for a little while. Even without Roy around you still felt the waves crashing down, knocking you upside the head as you sunk deeper below the surface. You needed to get out before the water filled your lungs and you were sucked away forever.
~~~~~
Gator had stopped at the diner and picked up some burgers, leaving you to wait in the truck so that no one would see you. There were surely some deputies sitting inside, other men who made it their lifeâs mission to worship Roy. And none of them were quiet, they would definitely go running their mouths at the odd scene of you and Gator walking in together, of ordering food together. It was best to stay in the shadows.
Gator had driven around for a bit, aimlessly turning down the empty roads, the food steadily cooling down. You had opened the bag at some point, trying to enjoy your food as best you could before it all turned to ice. Gator had silently put out his hand and you had given him a fry. You kept feeding him the food until he finally turned off the road and onto a field and pulled to a stop.
âWhatâre we doinâ here?â You asked as you took out the food, stomach growling at the smell for the past twenty minutes.
âJust wanted to go somewhere.â Gator said dismissively as he started stuffing his face, clearly trying to keep you from asking more questions.
âYaâ took me to the middle aâ nowhere.â You pointed out, not letting him get out of the conversation that easily.
âStill somewhere.â Gator shrugged, eyes trained on his food.
You ate your own burger in silence for a few minutes, only letting him off the hook for the moment because the food really was cooling down quickly and by this time tomorrow who even knew if youâd be allowed more of it.
You glanced over at Gator, a small bit of ketchup stuck at the corner of his lip as he stuffed another fry in his mouth. His hair was still loose, soft and messy as it fell down by his eyes. You were surprised he hadnât slicked it back before leaving since, even though you were parked in the middle of nowhere, he still had to be seen in public in order to get the food.
You opened your mouth to say something, to start demanding an actual answer out of him when you were cut off by the sound of your phone buzzing in your pocket. Gatorâs head shot up and he locked eyes with you, both of you just staring at each other in confusion. Who the hell would be texting you? Especially at this time of night. The only person you ever texted was Gator, and he was sitting right beside you. Maybe it was your boss, trying to see if you could cover or begging you to get back to work as he became overwhelmed by the late night rush without you.
You pulled out your phone and opened it up and you felt your heart drop, your ability to breathe abandoning you.
Iâve missed you baby. I know I did some stupid shit the other week but I promise Iâll make it up to you. Just wanna see that pretty face again.
Oh, God, it was Jack. You had been so overwhelmed the past two weeks with all of Royâs punishments and just trying to get the memories to leave your mind that you completely forgot that he had your number.
âWhat?â Gator asked, but you couldnât tear your eyes from the screen, couldnât even move a muscle. âHey, what is it?â
You took in a short breath, air getting caught in your throat and refusing to leave. Your hand started to shake, the feeling of those fiery hands and bruising lips so present it was like he was right there, like he was straddling your waist and pinning you down.
âHey.â Gatorâs soft voice called out, but it was distant, distorted like it was underwater. âHey, look at me. Come on, just look at me. What happened?â
You couldnât get your eyes to move, couldnât get them to look away from the vile words on the screen. You wanted to turn, you wanted to look over at Gator, Gator who was nice and kind and safe. You wanted his grounding touch, but you couldnât move.
âHey.â Gatorâs voice called out again, a gentle whisper that cut through the cloud in your brain and got your lung to work again, a small, shaky breath reaching all the way down and slowly escaping.
A hand came into view. Gatorâs hand, you reminded yourself. A hand that wasnât reaching out to hurt, a hand that was reaching out to comfort. He grabbed the phone and gently slipped it from your grasp, and your eyes followed along, watching his hands on the phone, tapping away at the screen before he shut it off and put it up on the dashboard.
âI blocked him.â Gator stated plainly, a hint of anger lacing his words. âHe ainât gonna text yaâ no more. I ainât gonna let it happen.â
Your eyes finally found his face, tracing over those soft features that had shown up only around you, that were reserved only for you. You studied the curve of his lips, the dip of his nose, all of those beautiful freckles and moles. Each item crafted specifically for him.
âGator?â You whispered as your eyes finished their studying, landing on his soft doe ones.
âYeah?â Gator whispered back.
âWhen yaâ said sorry in the truck, after you⊠after yaâ came and got me, was that real?â Your voice wavered dangerously, tears beginning to well.
âYeah.â Gator nodded softly. âThat was real.â
It was real? It wasnât a hallucination? Gator really apologized to you? It didnât make any sense. Even now, in these last twenty-four hours since you had kissed, neither of you had said sorry or thank you or any type of nicety.
âWhat⊠what were yaâ sorry for?â You asked shakily, as if afraid of the answer.
Gatorâs face fell, the glossy sign of tears welling in his own eyes. âIâm sorry for not gettinâ there fast enough. I just sat there and argued with yaâ. If Iâd have left the moment yaâ asked then he wouldâve never gotten his hands on yaâ.â
âGator.â You whispered, voice strained behind the unshed tears as you tried to keep yourself grounded in the present. âHe already touched me. On the couch.â
Gatorâs lip wobbled slightly, jaw tightening, and you could swear that he was about to start crying, a sight you had never seen before, not even with all of Royâs beatings. He looked like his entire world had just come crashing down around him, burned and tumbling into rubble.
You slowly reached your hand over across the leather bench, fingers outstretched next to him, waiting for him to make the connection. His head dropped towards your hand as he sniffled, and then he reached out, his hand wrapping around yours, fingers lacing themselves together. The touch, the hold, it calmed both of you, evening out your shaky breaths and grounding you in each otherâs presence. You squeezed each other tighter, not one space of air left between your skin, as if one small break would have you disappearing from each other forever. And thatâs what you wanted, you wanted Gator, here, now, forever. Just the two of you, no more Jack, no more Roy, no more ranch. Just him and you.
Lmao! Love the pic! The next chapter actually wonât be out until tomorrow, though. Itâs going to be a longer one, but trust me it is so worth the wait!
I fucking love your fic omg, Im always excited when I get the new chapter notification!!! R*y needs to burn in hell đŸđŸ
Thank you! Donât worry, Iâm figuring out what I want to do with Roy. This fic wonât be following the show. Heâll die by the end, just gotta figure out how lol!