silence spills from a cracked cup, it pours and pours and pours, overflowing until words are weeping like water and the edges grow thinner. her hands are too full, the cup is too empty then she is empty, then full again. his words slide off her and fall to the ground. she feels untouchable yet at the slightest hint of pressure she will surely crack, or melt away, singing soundlessly into the soapy seafoam. so tangled was the now-and-then, so complicated. umiko hates how complicated it is, why is it so, why must it bend and twist, locking her out then plunging her backwards. why. tension builds in her shoulders until it rises and sits in her throat. there is so much that should have been said — could have been said.
in the end, the words come out as no more than a scratchy whisper.
❝ you speak to me as if i’m another person. ❞ as if i’m not really there. ❝ am i … am i that much of a stranger now ? ❞ the memories are kind just as they are warm, but they too fade away in the back of her mind, fading into a colourless smear. not once did she look away. not once. her vision shimmers, lips slightly parted, hands pulled tight at her side and hair falling around her like a veil.
𝑰𝑻 𝑰𝑺 𝑨 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑼𝑶𝑼𝑺 𝑪𝒀𝑪𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑶𝑭 𝑨𝑮𝑶𝑵𝒀 , 𝑪𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑻𝑶 𝑭𝑨𝑫𝑬𝑫 𝑾𝑯𝑰𝑺𝑷𝑬𝑹𝑺 & 𝑷𝑯𝑨𝑵𝑻𝑶𝑴 𝑱𝑶𝒀𝑺 . Everything in him begs for him to turn to her , to gaze upon her like he once had ( it feels so long ago , the soft touches & warming breath against each other’s skin ) . Paths once wound together , abruptly rendered from their shared trails , colliding once more into an infinite line , but now run alongside one another , PARALLEL . He doesn’t dare reach out for her , knowing all too well how it would result in their RUINATION .
𝑩𝑼𝑻 𝑯𝑬𝑹 𝑽𝑶𝑰𝑪𝑬 𝑴𝑨𝑲𝑬𝑺 𝑯𝑰𝑴 𝑺𝑬𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑫 - 𝑮𝑼𝑬𝑺𝑺 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑫𝑬𝑪𝑰𝑺𝑰𝑶𝑵 . 𝑪𝑶𝑵𝑽𝑰𝑪𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵 𝑮𝑰𝑽𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑾𝑨𝒀 𝑻𝑶 𝑫𝑶𝑼𝑩𝑻 . This isn’t the first time he’s felt it well up within him . Countless days he drifted within the muddled memories & the present . He hasn’t forgotten the warmth that would swell within his chest , lodging itself in his heart ( it used to beat fiercely for her , the echo of it still pulsating even now ) . Something in him c r a c k s , lips parting in mute shock as horned crown TURNS TOWARDS HER , as if some spectral hand forced him to regard her .
𝑺𝑯𝑬’𝑺 𝑨𝑺 𝑩𝑹𝑬𝑨𝑻𝑯𝑻𝑨𝑲𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑨𝑺 𝑯𝑬 𝑹𝑬𝑴𝑬𝑴𝑩𝑬𝑹𝑺 . 𝑻𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑮𝑯 𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑵 𝑴𝑬𝑴𝑶𝑹𝒀 𝑭𝑨𝑰𝑳𝑺 𝑻𝑶 𝑫𝑶 𝑨𝑵𝒀 𝑱𝑼𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑪𝑬 𝑻𝑶 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑩𝑬𝑨𝑼𝑻𝒀 𝑵𝑶𝑾 𝑩𝑬𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬 𝑯𝑰𝑴 . It is the shattered expression that contorts her features that causes an aching GUILT to lance through him , rendering him silent in the face of her words .
i wish to be forgotten ,
but not by you .
𝑯𝑬 𝑪𝑨𝑵’𝑻 𝑻𝑬𝑳𝑳 𝑰𝑭 𝑰𝑻’𝑺 𝑯𝑰𝑺 𝑶𝑾𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑶𝑼𝑮𝑯𝑻𝑺 𝑶𝑹 𝑯𝑬𝑹𝑺 𝑻𝑯𝑨𝑻 𝑯𝑬 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑺 , 𝑶𝑹 𝑩𝑶𝑻𝑯 . She remembered him , holding to a phantom self that would never be again . He cannot bring himself to bring her to harm , be it physically or emotionally ( but a voice cries out against his hypocrisy ) . Fingers extend & curl , sucking in a short breath & holding it prisoner for a short time .
❝ It is not you that has become the stranger , but rather the thing that stands before you . You loved a man with DREAMS & AMBITIONS , for himself , for his family , for his Love . Desires of which are now dead & gone , wrenched away along with his final breath . Allow him to become the stranger in your stead , for it is the dead that should be forgotten , not the living . ❞
allow this to be my final wish for you .
