My top surgery progress/vent blog

Where I post about my top surgery. NSFW 30 y/o ftm/nb 170 cm/5'7" ~140kg/310lbs double incision w/ free nipple grafts, contouring, drainless. With Dr. Bryan Chung @ Catalyst Surgical CW: bruises, blood, scabs, incisions, surgery, medical, top surgery, wounds, pre op and post op chest, mental health, etc. This is the good the bad and the ugly. For informative purposes because I wish more people like me posted about their experience. AMA icon by @tinkatonicons

[fattopsurgery]

4.5 months post-op!

Just gonna get right into it! Things are settling in to their new norm. I think I may have the tiniest bit of fluid still but very hard to tell so I'm not worried about it. The stretch marks on the right side are sometimes puffy like they were with the fluid. Stretchmarks overall are much more noticeable now but I think most of them are the old ones as they are white and wrinkly. The ones below the scar I think are the new ones and they're the ones that get puffy occasionally.

I definitely haven't been consistent with massage or scar care recently. I need to work on more massage on the right scar to break down the hard scar tissue, and overall to ensure no adhesion. Sometimes it feels tight inside and I'm not sure if its occasional swelling or scar tissue or fluid or what. Sensation on my inner chest is improved, it wasn't too numb before anyway. But the outsides are still numb or very little sensation. Directly on the skin outside the nipple on the inside half is hyper sensitive. I'm hoping it spreads to the nipples/areolas too (have been using nipple for both) they still have 0 feeling on the grafts.

Hyperpigmentation around the scars has improved a lot. I'm not 100% sure if it was underboob related or surgery related but it's much lighter now.

I wish I could tighten up the older stretch marks a bit they are so ripply. But the older ones aren't too noticeable when I have good posture.

Both nips alive and well though the left one is not too pretty compared to his fraternal twin

I've gained like 30-40 lbs since surgery rip but I think some is water weight from creatine. Getting more active and back at work so hopefully I can get back on track. Trying to normalize my eating habits has been rough but I think I can improve.

Once I'm less far into debt I'm going to get back to physio and chiro. My costochondritis and facet joints have been less annoying but being back at work is flaring them tf up, among other things I haven't bothered treating. Making sure I stretch more and do the physio exercises when I need to though.

I got a vr for christmas and have been playing a ton of beatsaber so that's taking care of some of my activity. That shit is so fun.

One of my clients said it looked like I lost weight lmao I said no quite the opposite but thank you :)

Pics Below

^ no dog ears but right side has a fupa when sitting or hunching XD

[fattopsurgery]

Almost 14 weeks Post-Op

I have gained like ~30 lbs since surgery, putting me back at super depression era weight. Went to my 3 months post op appt last week and my back was so angry about short walks in Toronto with actual shoes on instead of shorter walks in crocs at home. I've started trying to build my endurance back up since being unemployed and at home put me in fat gremlin mode after the stir craziness wore off. I got in to much better shape last year before surgery, don't get me wrong I was still obese af but I was walking a lot and biking again and working out and my meds had me feeling goooood. Now I'm giving in to the constant exhaustion the same meds make me feel. I swap between not eating hardly anything and eating one giant meal. I just can't eat on a schedule like it's a chore it's so difficult for me to do that. I walked just 20 mins on the treadmill today for first time since surgery. Didn't break a sweat or run out of breath (was on just 2.0) but my back is SO angry about it. And trying to get back to working and that's ticking it off too. Emailed my PT since I lost my sheet with the exercises for my facet joint shit and he emailed me access to everything I go for which is nice since I haven't been able to go in hardly at all cause money. So Imma get back at doing back and rib exercises not just chest.

I wasn't sure but today I confirmed I am in fact getting some sensation back in both nipples. It's VERY faint and feels like its up a few cm from where it is but it's there! I'm still unsure if it will be in any way erogenous I know it's unlikely but I'm holding out hope.

Still get some swelling and fluid seems to collect in some of the stretch marks below my incisions but I can't feel any notable seroma juice! The sides are still very tender.

The scars on the left are nice and soft, and thin towards the centre but a little stretched on the side. Almost the same on the other side but partway down the scar I can feel scar tissue bumpiness and it's hard to tell if that part will stay thin. I'm applying extra pressure and massage there during scar massage.

Right nipple is an adonis with just a little bit of harder tissue on parts of the edges. Left nipple is the derpy cousin, smaller, puffier, raised edges, all around strange. Edges are hard centre is loose? Idk, he ugly but he alive and I appreciate him sticking it out.

Still a weird wrinkle on the left side incision near the pit but it's far less noticable now.

All in all I'm very glad at my results so far. Being my weight with my shitty skin it far exceeds my expectations. Though I will always nitpick myself cause I can't help it. Looking forward to getting back to at least where I was pre surgery fitness wise, it wasn't much but it was on the up and up. I just have to keep finding ways to remind myself and push myself and force the motivation in somehow.

pics below

[fattopsurgery]

2 Months post op ramble

Have been going to my reg physiotherapist for a little bit and I think this last week was the biggest improvement to swelling and firmness and fluid on my bad side. He does a pretty firm massage on the hard part and the fibrosis/cords (which are like 80% better now) then ultrasound therapy and range of motion stretches. He added more strength stuff to my at home stuff. I haven't been as good as I normally am for the at home stuff while I was babying the swelling and seromas. Since my appt on thursday I only had one time where it felt more aggravated and tight but I was setting up some christmas stuff so I think I overdid it a bit. That side is still firmer but like soooo much better now. The outside of it under the armpit is still a weird squishy hole (not the best description but like inside feels much less dense in a prominent area like a crater but in the fat layer presumably. It's not that noticeably different from the other outer side other than the swelling differences and a crease near the end of my incision.

On a non surgery note I got switched back from gel to injection for T because I couldnt afford the gel anymore and now its all on backorder. So I'm on my 2nd sharkweek since not having it and this one definitely has a full months of wrong hormones amount vs last months mini blitz. My back hurts my head hurts my tummy hurts, I took the biggest shit in months this morning. At least I wasnt caught unprepared this time.

So yeah stoked about chest progress but everything else in my life is shit shit shit. Money, what I'm going to do job wise since my backup plan sounds like its not gonna happen, hormones etc.

Gonna have to start doing some of my clients @ home in the meantime, haven't been cleared for over 15 lbs yet but most of them are 30 and under so I'll probably do those dogs and go from there. I have a back back back up plan to rent a table at a shop but since I dont drive and it's a little out of town it's not super easy at the moment. Will do what clients I can at home for now before I start losing them.

[fattopsurgery]

8 Weeks Post Op

Haven't posted much in forever, there hasn't been any big changes. Maybe some minor scar changes, but left side remains more swollen and has that like deep itch when I touch the more firm parts. Barely feel any fluid. Only notable thing is sometimes when its more swollen the stretch marks directly below it look like they have fluid in them they get a little puffed up and yellowy. Under my armpit on the bad side also feels looser and more like a hole inside? Like it had more lipo done or something. I wonder if that's why. Maybe there's more fluid in there I cant feel. I only really check on either side of that nipple by pressing back and forth, it's easy to feel there. It's also where the surgeon aspirated from. I've been trying to massage/roll more toward armpit and collar bone to help drainage hopefully. The cording is much better. Have been going to my PT and he does massage, ultrasound therapy and I have his exercises. He also does traction for my back still during those visits cause he's a saint.

[sternulaalbifrons]

Even for trans men who are completely stealth, who fully pass as cis men, who’ve had hysterectomies, who no longer need access to “female” healthcare (even ignoring that these trans men will still continue to need hrt for the rest of their lives), that doesn’t erase previous experiences with misogyny.

Because experiencing misogyny for your whole childhood/potentially much longer, is not something that you just brush off. You don’t just brush off being sexualised before you’re old enough to know what sex is, or discouraged from certain career paths because they’re not considered to be for women (whether explicitly or just by not being made to feel welcome in male dominated spaces), or being consistently dismissed, talked over or ignored, just to name a few things. None of that disappears the moment you’re seen as a man, just like trauma doesn’t just disappear even when you’re safe.

Trans men who talk about being affected by these things are not “clinging to their agab” or trying to play victims, we’re just talking about our lived experiences and how they continue to affect us.

[fattopsurgery]

Top Surgery Recovery Day 35

Update and pics below the cut (see tags for all cws - bruises, incisions, medical, surgical, blood, etc.)

Discovered how TENDER I am further down my sides on my ribs. It's crazy, I was so focused on everything else. It's either from the lipo or costo. I think maybe my flareups haven't been as bad with the compression because I'm numb maybe? It's also not applying pressure unevenly as it did when there was something there to squish even though I didn't use very tight binders they were old stretched out gc2bs for the most part recently because of the pain. Or no binder and lots of layers all through the summer because it hurt too bad to bind. But its like on the sides where I knew I had lipo has been tender almost the whole time but even lower like my bottom couple ribs are also tender as fuck. Idk.

Made an appointment for next week with my reg physiotherapist, I think I already wrote that. Looking forward to moving more and seeing if he can help with range of movement and possibly lymphatic drainage. Can't really afford it rn with no insurance and living in overdraft but I think it'll be worth it. Have an appointment earlier that day with my endo too so gonna ask to swap to injections again unless there's something else similarily cost effective. I prefer on the lower end of dosage anyway so even if it's not as effective as shots if its a good price i might do that because I'm better at remembering daily things like pills (because alarms, I tried alarms for the weekly ones but I was shit at it still, If I could prep a bunch of shots in advance I'd love it but idk if T can just sit in syringes for weeks idk if that stays sterile or what, who knows the bottle gets stabbed every week too so idk)

Still some pesky fluid on both sides but it feels like low enough to hopefully absorb? Doing some lympatic drainage massage techniques to encourage shit to wake up in there and start draining.

Have been consistent with scar massage every day but sometimes I put on the palmers vitamin e cream and sometimes i put on silicone gel so that's wholly inconsistent. The actual scars look very thin but the skin around them is still red and raised and wrinkly in spots. It does look like where it's actually going to scar is still pretty thin though. I'm fortunate that I feel like my adult scars fade a lot nicer than my childhood and teen scars did. I'm prone to stretch marks but even all those are pretty faded now. I don't think I've ever had a keloid or hypertrophic scar, atrophic yes though. I think the only exception is a couple of my so long I don't know what they're from scars that are raised but basically white. I feel like these bigger deeper scars with more tension are much more prone to being hypertrophic. I'm no expert though. I did buy scar tape impulsively but I don't know if I'll use it yet. Maybe when I'm back to work and moving a lot more I'll do that for the support while moving more and protection from dog bath water and scratching. I doubt the gel would hold up to getting soaked all day.

Stitch spit spot is looking great, maybe a little hole but it looks fairly superficial. Very little serum coming from that nipple now and no scabbing, It hasn't filled in, I'm assuming that'll take a while but it's almost ready to not cover maybe? I'm trying to get by with no tape on the gauze squares anymore cause my skin can't handle much more of it. The vaseline and compression are holding them on I just gotta be mindful of adjustments. I'm keeping gauze on both of them still as I don't want too much shearing or rubbing on the good looking one in case it's not ready. Once I'm done with compression I'll be done with the gauze I think. Not sure if there's another way to add a layer that won't move and rub underneath without adhesives.

Reaaaally want to go in hot tub but I'm waiting til everything is SUPER closed. And idk if the chemicals have been checked in a long time. I haven't been in since like 2 weeks before my surgery and I'm not sure if anyone else has used it or checked it since. Icky. Might have a bath soak since it only fills to halfway up my legs. I have some cool japanese milk bath things. I just wish I could soak my whole back though, it'd feel soooooooo nice.

But yeah my back issues my rib issues my write issues and my elbow issues are all pissy lately. Idk if it's the weather or the overcompensating or the lack of moving a lot or what. I just wanna melt in a hot pot.

Do you think I could just NOT use compression anymore. Like would the seroma get worse? Or just go away slower? I have a tentative appointment next week for it so maybe I can just not bind and see what happens. It's making me nauseous and hard to sleep and hurting my back and ribs and ugh. I keep trying to reason with myself and weigh pros and cons. Only cons are the seromas getting bigger. Fuck I honestly don't even mind draining them myself if they keep filling. I bet I'd get a nope from the doc though xD

Mood has been 'meh' I think the time change and shorter days are summoning ye olde seasonal depression a little early this year. Plus the not getting out much and being fucking BORED all the time. Got my shiny furfrou so pokemon has slowed down for me. Gotta finish a few side quests then all that's left is shiny hunting some more. Nothing too interesting that I'm watching right now. I preordered an ebook from one of my fave authors that's out now, gotta charge up my kindle and read that. Maybe do some doodles. I wanna see if we still have the silverwing books and reread those. Or find a good fanfic, or reread Afterdrop for the 4th time awaiting an update that I'm not sure will come (which is totally fine the author has a life but it's so fucking good)

ANYWAY

pics

the texture differences are wild since that one slingshotted inwards. A little disappointed with it but glad it didn't completely die. The lopsides one is so pretty tho

[fattopsurgery]

Top Surgery Recovery Day 34

Update and pics below the cut (see tags for all cws - bruises, incisions, medical, surgical, blood, etc.)

Pain was a little less today! Nipple looking good. Typing this on perhaps the worst keyboard i've ever had th e displeasure of using. Bought the cheapest wireless mouse and keyboard so I could use my pc on my tv in my bed but this thing sucks ass half the buttons are so hard to press and the input lag is so slow i didnt think it was possible to be this slow hoyl shit

going to keep it brief

got my weird growig out hair tidied up

got out of the house for 20 mins so that was nice :)

tidied up a bit

got pizza

played dnd

it was an ok day

sharkweek seems to be gone fingers crossed it stays weird and brief ad over with

pics

[fattopsurgery]

Top Surgery Recovery Day 33

Update and pics below the cut (see tags for all cws - bruises, incisions, medical, surgical, blood, etc.)

Deciding to be a little less careful and stretch some more given the nipple is looking a lot better and the fluid doesn't seem to care one way or the other. The fibrosis cord thingies are the main thing holding me back but the whole chest feels a bit tight. I have been doing two different massages on the chest for the scars and to make sure that the chest doesn't stick so I think I need to start back with the stretches as the massage isn't enough.

Giving myself more compression breaks as that also doesn't seem to matter to the fluid :/ Going to do some light lymphatic drainage massages and keep trying with the heat to see if I can help it out a bit.

Still going to book a tentative appointment just in case it doesn't improve again. It did take longer to get to this point though so I think with some patience it'll chill out.

Still tender and sensitive all over. I think I have a smaller numb area now though? The tape on the left side is starting to irritate a lot more and I can feel it now. So that's a good sign.

Oh and the left side feels wayyyy less hard so I think the pathway to drainage might be opening up. I think whatever was going on there between sutures, swelling, fibrosis and whatever else had it rock hard is settling down.

Had my mini haul come in for the surprise sharkweek but it's very inconsistent. Like sometimes it's like oh it's gone nice then oh no it's not. Not enough to put an innie in in case it decides to stop and I gotta raw dog that thing out. Unfortunately also means uncomfortable underwear giving me a sensory nightmare.

Sent a request to my regular physiotherapist asking if he can help with getting my ROM back and the fibrosis and if he knew anyone who does lymphatic drainage massages. The surgery included a couple from their in house guy but I think one or two more would be beneficial to open that shit back up.

yo I just pressed down a little more firmly on the hard part and it was like pushing on a spongey thing but it feels much softer now. Euuughh. Not like a hematoma spongeyness tho.

That's all I got for now though.

pics

[fattopsurgery]

Top Surgery Recovery Day 32

Update and pics below the cut (see tags for all cws - bruises, incisions, medical, surgical, blood, etc.)

Fluid definitely back, probably a little less than before though. Left nipple is looking far less angry. Tender all over still and sooo itchy for the last few days.

Had some great stitch pops with my linear scar massage today, gross but satisfying.

The presumed stitch spit on the left side is looking less angry too.

I have been so inconsistent with my T lately due to costs that my hormones are all messy and I think I figured out why I was so pissy the other day - started sharkweek. It's been YEARS. I am wholly unprepared for it. I had to go to a halloween party. My mum had pads but I don't own anything but boxer briefs. Had to pull those ALL the way up. Ordered a few things on amazon if this persists.

Halloween party was fun, took my propranolol right before going so I couldn't drink or anything else but my brother's puppy was there so we chilled. He did so well, he slept almost the whole time and it was louuuuud.

Also realized you know you're old when the pickled beets and onions on the snack table are the most exciting things there.

There was another trans person there but I'm too socially awkward to hold a conversation with anyone even though I would have liked to chat with her.

Had a heating pad session on the fluid side before bed and decided to sleep without compression just to see.

I'll leave the rest for the post I write later today

Hopefully I'll stay caught up

here's pics

[fattopsurgery]

Top Surgery Recovery Day 31

Update and pics below the cut (see tags for all cws - bruises, incisions, medical, surgical, blood, etc.)

It's Halloweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen. I don't have anything going on but I've got my dino kigurumi on. The snorlax one might be cursed. I'm saving the crow one for a halloween party tomorrow. I bought it last year but have kept it in a bag since as it is black fleece and I own a white cat. I washed my other two as they served as her bed in her hideyhole in my closet since last halloween but I think it just spread the hair around lol. Less bad anyway.

Still have to use compression for now so no slutty halloween for me this year. Oh darn.

Got my shiny charm this morning and tried for a shiny furfrou for a few hours but alls I gots was two shiny kangaskhan. Did a little last minute decorating. I just thought of something better than what I did though so I'm gonna do a quick swap here in a minute.

Decorations turned out well. I avoided the door like the plague.

Realizing I might still need draining on this fluid. Sometimes it feels like its almost gone, then I get a different position and i feel it in there. Ugh.

Got a piece of dead skin out of the nipple separation that I think was hindering the healing.

Had a stitch start spitting (im assuming) on the leftmost part of my incision. I'm not gonna lie I squeezed some of the goop out and it kinda made a little blood blister. Slapped a bandaid on it.

I wrote the first half of this on the day and am trying to remember what else two days later again lol

Here's pics

[fattopsurgery]

Top Surgery Recovery Day 30 ONE MONTH!

Update and pics below the cut (see tags for all cws - bruises, incisions, medical, surgical, blood, etc.)

Spent the day grinding for my shiny charm (got it the following morning woot woot)

Get random twangs of pain last couple days, kinda feels like my costo but more on the left side than ever. I'm assuming it could be that considering I have been using compression 24/7 for 30 days straight so far, and a regular binder would set it off way earlier. I haven't had as much as usual on my right side where it was really bad before but it's still there. Feeling a little shit about the setbacks as far as movement and fluid and nipple separation.

Nipple is looking alright not worse, not much better. I don't think the vaseline is permeating the crusty bit in the canals so might need to spend a little longer in the shower, I think the dead skin stuck there was part of the problem. We want a free open pathway for the granulation tissue I'm assuming?

Got over the stir crazy few weeks and now I'm getting uncomfortably comfortable with just sitting at home playing games all day. Time flies when you're taking naps and not being productive.

Cancelled my drainage session for Monday, it's definitely a whole lot smaller where that fluid is. It's still there but definitely a bit better so I'd like to see if it keeps going down by itself. As satisfying as the aspiration is it leaves a bruise and irritates the hell out of my whole chest. I think a needle longer than my foot and some size that looks a lot bigger than 18G rooting around in there will do that (though unless he poked the muscle there was 0 pain while he did it)

In the evening I had this absolute anger and frustration bubble up out of nowhere. You know when you're just so mad and you feel it in your region and you just wanna scream. My blood pressure felt like it was through the roof, I didn't miss my pills so idk what was up with that. I had put on my snorlax kigurumi cause I was cold and I had just washed it for halloween, and I sat down and was just so pissed off for no reason. I took it off and stood by an open window and did some deep breaths, then put myself on DND on discord until I felt like wasn't a bear waiting to be poked. I didn't know whether to scream or cry or what but it passed.

Part of it is probably me VERY inconsistently taking my T, I had swapped to the gel about a year ago maybe? If that. But after losing benefits I realized I cannot afford it really so last little bit I have barely been using it. I have an appt with my endo in two weeks so I'm going to ask to either swap back to shots or something else within my price range if there is anything else. I know the premeasured injector things arent in canada yet but that sounds neat. And I think the pills that don't fuck your liver are costly af too.

Got bloodwork for that today then picked up my other meds then went to get cat food at my old work and chatted with them, sounds like they're going to take me back. And my old table is still vacant cause the lighting is shit! But it's in the back corner and I love it anyway. Still better lighting than the last place I was.

Just checked my bloodwork and the testosterone results are still pending, they're probably retesting cause they're probably still "high" for legally F but idk if they're in a good range, I only applied gel 2-3 times last week. Also have another unrelated result that's high that I shouldn't have googled. My reg doc will call me if it's cause for concern though I'm sure.

Gonna end day 30 here and start doing today's before they mix too much lol

Here's updated photos. Also the right nip doesn't look as small again? Idk how tf that works but I did swap back to the papery micropore tape and nonstick gauze to keep it firmly in place without stretching, using a full width strip instead of half

[fattopsurgery]

Top Surgery Recovery Day 29 (the one i accidentally posted on my main blog and didn't notice until 2 days later rip)

Update and pics below the cut (see tags for all cws - bruises, incisions, medical, surgical, blood, etc.)

Changed the blog name, the first one was meant to be temporary but this one is too. I want something that makes it clear on what this blog is all about while being kinda cool idk

Definitely have fluid :/ not sure if more compression or less compression is the way to go. Should I sleep on that side so it goes down to the lymph nodes, or the opposite side so it's elevated? Or my back? Just don't know how to encourage this bad boy to fuck off. More massage? Less massage? Heating pad? Ice? Neither? NSAIDS?

I just was hoping to be further along for a month in. I know complications happen and aren't super rare for these ones but it's annoying lol.

Nipple looked a little less angry around it today, the separation looks pretty much the same. Idk if I should help the scabs and crusts off so that there's room for granulation tissue to fill in the gaps or to keep leaving it alone. Just continuing with vaseline for now, hopefully that doesn't stop it from filling in either.

I think I'm going to stay sleeping on my back on my wedge pillow for now so I don't mess with the nipple too much by applying uneven pressure. As much as I just wanna curl up on my side :'(

I'm also gonna throw some abd pads back in the compression on that side and hopefully it'll further encourage the reabsorption, not that it did at all when I had it in there before. And maybe a short heating pad sesh. Idk

If anyone actually reads this feel free to gimme recommendations if you have any.

Here's the pics

[fattopsurgery]

Top Surgery Recovery Day 28

Update and pics below the cut (see tags for all cws - bruises, incisions, medical, surgical, blood, etc.)

Surgeon confirmed nip was having some separation. So I have to go back to avoiding movement til it fills in :/ It's looking the same, maybe a little less angry. Idk what I was saying about fluid yesterday, there's definitely some in there. Debating whether to keep binding or not. In theory it should help the seroma but what if it's doing the opposite? The other side cleared up fine with less compression (cause I was padding the worse side) but it wasn't nearly as hard and bruised so idk.

Might just have to find a way to the city to get it drained again. I think it would be just one more time. I think its definitely less but probably more than what the other side was last time (which he said to gauge by for if i should come in again)

I'm still not getting a strong ick when I do massage but a little ick whenever a stitch breaks when I do it lol. Though that's also a little satisfying.

I swapped back to gauze pads from bandaids for that one nip so I can put wide non stretchy tape on so the skin doesn't move around as much and pull it more open. Fingers crossed! I'm still more worried about the fluid than the nip. I'm tempted to leave it and see if I wait a little longer than the week where it goes but I'm also worried it will form one of those capsules that needs surgical removal if I wait too long. That would stink.

When I took pics this morning for my surgeon my left nip had weird spots with seemingly less bloodflow so I was a little worried there but it's back to really pink again tonight.

Had a 1 hour nap turn into a 3 hour nap oops. Supposed to hang with someone tomorrow but have no idea what time. Hopefully after I wake up lol.

Completed my pokedex for z-a yesterday! (except mega evolutions) Just 574 more battles or someshit for the shiny charm.

I've had a handful of full chance shinies already and two I farmed for.

Off topic sry but I accomplish little else these days.

pics

Hopefully this helps it stay still

[fattopsurgery]

Top Surgery Recovery Day 27

Update and pics below the cut- PARTICULARILY DESCRIPTIVE OF WOUND THIS UPDATE (see tags for all cws - bruises, incisions, medical, surgical, blood, etc.)

Seroma maybe feels smaller! I might be crazy or maybe it reached a new limit but I swear it's much less waterbed-dy. Like there's definitely still more fluid build up but it feels smaller than it did yesterday? Or maybe the same? Idk I'll have a good feel tomorrow.

Sketchy nipple still very much sketchy I gently rolled the goop out of the crevasses when I changed the dressings this evening and its got this white tissue that looks like a little pus pocket from afar but it just weird flesh? Its on both sides of that nipple where it is open. It didn't come off with a gentle prod with a q-tip. I don't know if its just dead tissue? Or what? I just sent an email to my surgeon to be on the safe side.

The fibrosis cordy shit holding my arms down is improving fast! Still don't have full range of motion to reach back or up but it's far less painful, and the cords are less firm feeling through the skin.

I'm finding the incisions are super itchy too D:

Hoping the seroma keeps going down

Here's pics, they gross af on that one nip

[fattopsurgery]

Top Surgery Recovery Day 26

Update and pics below the cut (see tags for all cws - bruises, incisions, medical, surgical, blood, etc.)

Today was ok. Got to spend a lot of time with a puppy :)

Mildly aching pretty much all over my chest still - mostly left side and my skin is still very sensitive. The fibrosis by my armpits wasn't hurting that much today though! Still working on range of motion for the arms, part of me is like yeah stretching WOO and part of me is scared it'll make the seroma fill up more if I'm moving around too much not letting it close up inside.

There is definitely a bit more fluid but the outer part isn't as hard there, mostly just behind the nipple but iirc it was much more even with the other sides remaining hardness. Keeping the binder/compression on with some abdominal pads on that side for a little more compression and a little less rubbing.

Left nipple no noticeable changes since it started being funky. The outerside where it's separating I took a picture and noticed it was a little more sketch than I thought, and the inner side where it is separating is still filled with yellow crusty stuff. I doubt it'll get much worse but idk what to expect from the healing timeline. As long as it heals well its all good, might leave a little moat around my nipple or something lol, who knows? Maybe it'll scar a little more there and be the extra pigment I need there. The right nipple is looking great though! Both still have red rings around them from the stitches breaking down and spitting and irritating them.

Did the linear scar massage in the shower and felt 3 stitches pop in the right side. No pain with that, just weird. Surgeon had already warned me of the popping sensations of the stitches breaking down. I just wasn't expecting them from the massage. Was told to use just enough pressure to make it start feeling icky and not be nauseated or something but it hasn't felt icky to massage it with pretty firm pressure. The circular massage I've used a little less pressure just because of how close my nipples are to the big incisions. I wonder if that was part of the separating. I don't think I had done it before I noticed it but I don't remember. I'm sure going ham around there won't help though until it's closed up good.

Not sure if it's the more moving, the drained fluid or something else or a combo but I'm very tender and achey all over my chest, esp left side again. But its more widespread I guess? Like a pretty even rectangle of tender spots from my armpits down to nips and all the way across. And inner part of left side is still pretty puffy

Can't think of what else I was going to mention.

Here's pics, featuring more angles of gross left nip

more of the left

[fattopsurgery]

Top Surgery Recovery Day 25

Update and pics below the cut (see tags for all cws - bruises, incisions, medical, surgical, blood, etc.)

Speech to texting this at 2:00 in the morning cause I forgot to write it on my computer when it was on. I'll format it and post it tomorrow. But today was good. Not really any pain. Nipple was pretty crusty and sketchy looking still on the left side. The inside of the left half of my chest is a little puffy but still doesn't feel like any fluid. The outside is still a little hard so I'm nervous that there will be more fluid buildup. Right side of my chest is doing fantastic, no puffiness or hardness. Left nipple has definitely retracted quite a bit since getting drained cause it's separating a little bit around some of the edges. I think it might need a tattoo touch up in the future.

Still working on range of motion but it's definitely much better even after just the first day of a couple stretches. It's nice to be able to grab the shower head without tongs and turn on my ceiling fan and grab things out of cupboards. I spent most of the day laying on my bed playing Pokémon and yeah that's basically it. I don't really know I was mentally today. I just was able to mostly focus on just video games which is nice cause usually I get restless and bored and don't feel like doing anything when I'm home too long so it's nice having that focus for a bit.

Counting the days down till I can not bind or have dressings on my nipples. I think the nipples will be freed very soon. I could probably uncover the right one. There is like a little dark spot on the bottom still and a new reddish area in the middle but I think it's all right. The left one I'm going to definitely wait for the new separating area to heal over. As for the binder/compression, I'm going to wait till at least a few days to see if this fluid is building back up or not, hopefully not.

Anyway, here's pictures

[tinkatonicons]

Sylveon + trans flag

[sylveon, i choose you !]

size: 512 x 512

flag(s): transgender

please like + reblog if using <3

credit appreciated <3

also requested by @hotbloodedbones !