fauna 🩰🌷

my recovery page! I love makeup, books, music, and working out!!! “Be the change u wish to see”

[fauna4you]

Diary entry #8 - a new journey?

hi fawns! I think I want to recover.. maybe? I was thinking about what my teacher said yesterday like surrounding myself with bad people will make me a bad person and if I want to change I can’t keep doing the same thing. He’s right, I complain about my eating disorder and how much it affects me but still I’m unwilling to make a change. Yes of course I still want to lose weight and yes I still do have body issues. It’s not going to change overnight, but if I can eat atleast 2 meals a day I’ll call it a win. And I can lose weight the healthy way. It’s going to be a long journey and a long process. I’m going to use tumblr to express how I feel and my emotions through this entire journey. I don’t think I will be posting my current weight or anything like that. I may still keep my start weight because yes I was overweight and if I lose weight the better way and my body is strong, the start weight will make me a lot happier- and it will show how long I’ve come.

If you are following me who is struggling with an eating disorder, reach out to somebody. You can even reach out to me. I know there might be quite a few people who unfollow me and that’s okay, because I will totally understand the position that you’re in. For now, my blog is going to change. It’s going to be more of a recovery blog and how I’m still going to lose weight without restricting myself so much.

[fauna4you]

Diary entry #9 - first few days

hi fawns! I’m not going to lie to you.. it’s been very hard trying to eat and not feel guilty. I’m super bloated and my face has gotten puffier- but I do follow this person on TikTok “shadows recovery” and their bloating has gone down after a few weeks so that makes me feel better.

It’s not easy, in fact it’s so insanely hard- but I have been so much happier these past few days. The thoughts are still very much in my head, but journaling has definitely helped. I’m taking baby steps, everyday is a different level on how I feel mentally and what I eat. Some days I can eat 3 meals and feel good, other days I can eat the bare minimum and feel terrible. It’s all apart of the process.

Homecoming is on Saturday and that especially has made recovering so much harder- “I got to look skinny in my dress” “I don’t want to be bloated” “I want my body to look good” it’s really hard to ignore but I’m trying my best.

[liyadelrey]

I like what I like and that’s okay! ᥫ᭡

[fauna4you]

diary entry #7 - opening up to ppl you trust

hi fawns! Continuing from my last post where I was talking about my teacher asking questions like if I was okay, if I need anything, why I don’t eat lunch, etc- today I was in my teachers classroom during lunch like always and he had a free period after lunch and I actually had English class but I sat in there just me in him for most of the class period. I opened up to him about how it’s hard for me to sleep, how bad my disrealization has been lately, etc. I mentioned to him about my fears of going out with this guy who likes me because I’m scared he might try to do something without my consent due to past relationships. I also told/reminded him how I went to rehab over this summer but since school started I’ve been going back to old habitats. He was really supportive and really kind. I’m really glad I opened up to him, and I’m glad I trust him enough to do so. I told him how my goal for next summer is to be “recovered” maybe it will get better by next summer and maybe I can lose weight the healthy way? I’m scared though.

[fauna4you]

diary entry #6 - the “question”

hi fawns! Sorry I haven’t posted recently.. schools been very hardcore.

This summer I thought I recovered, I was doing fine, eating 3 meals a day, not over exercising, etc. So, when my school had a get together for clubs (I’m in a gardening club) I saw my teacher- who always last year asked if I was okay and stuff. We were catching up and I had opened up to him about how I was recovering from an eating disorder and that I had gone to rehab for alcohol and substance abuse. He was happy for me, and told me if I needed anything that he was there for me. Well, this year I sit in his class during lunch and it was fine at first, he didn’t say anything but last week my guy friend who is like a gym rat was asking me why I don’t eat lunch and I just say no reason and he asked how much I weigh and I said “only a secret for me to know” and got rlly quiet and he guessed I weighed 110 lbs - ugh I wish! anyways, after that recently my teacher has been- especially today- asking if I was okay and if I needed anything. And he asked why I don’t eat lunch and I just shook my shoulders and he was like “food gives you energy” and I told him I hear it enough from everybody else I don’t need it from him and he laughed. All I want to do is literally cry and ball my eyes out when somebody asks a question like that- especially my teacher, because he knows. I just wish people would stop asking the “question”

[fauna4you]

diary entry #5 - a cycle

hi fawns! Sorry I didn’t post on Saturday yesterday.. ended up in a binge. I fasted on Friday and did fine on Saturday but ended up binging on Sunday. I took laxatives Saturday night so my stomach was rlly empty on Sunday. I guess that could be the reason why I fell into such a big binge fest. it wasn’t too bad.. I mean I had a breakfast sandwich and sausage for dinner but during the night is kinda where I messed up. I had a pint of ice cream which was 360 cals, 3 sugar cookies, a whole lot of goldfish and some candy corn. But today while I got ready I drank peppermint tea which helps with digestion and bloating and went to school from 8:30-12. I checked the scale today and I gained 3 lbs. Which I know isn’t actual fat it’s more just water weight but I still hate that. I’m hoping that my family doesn’t make too big of a dinner so I can just have that and call it a day. Hopefully the rest of the week is better. I think because I haven’t been going to school for the full hours is what is making me eat a lot during the daytime. I’m good at skipping meals during school, and we’ve been having half days so I’ve had more time to have the mindset of eating, if that make sense.

[hisdrugs]

i believe alcohol should be calorie free

[fauna4you]

diary entry #4 - friyay!

hii fawns! Today was a very good day! I drank peppermint tea - which helps with bloating and digestion, while I got ready this morning. I went to school from 8:30-11 AM and went to my friends house until 4 PM. She offered me food and we went to tacobell - everybody else was eating but I didn’t! I wasn’t planning on today being a fast but it just so happened that my dad thought I was asleep during dinner so he didn’t make me a plate.. now I know that I can skip meals by doing that. I’ve been doing a lot of standing and walking at school due to different activities so I’m really happy! I’m lowkey gonna hit the cart later which does give me the munchies but it also makes me superglued to my bed so I won’t even get up haha.

[fauna4you]

diary entry #3 - September 25th, 2025

hiii fawns!!! Today I went to school from 8:30-11 AM and then went to my friends house until 4:30 PM. I had chamomile tea and a small slice of blueberry bread (150 cals?) for breakfast. I had a smallish slice of organic cheese pizza with basil (150 cals?) for lunch - yes I know I said nothing cheesy ughh. And I had Mongolian beef pasta (200 cals?) with rice (100 cals?) for dinner. Later tonight I’ll have some peppermint tea! Total: 600 cals estimated I honestly don’t normally eat this much but I was rlly hungry today. The good news is that I woke up and weighed myself at 122.4 lbs and when I came home before dinner I was at 121.6 lbs!

I think I did good today - better than the past few days atleast.

[fauna4you]

diary entry #2 - rules and goals

Rules: 

Can’t eat after 7pm 

Drink peppermint tea every night

Walk everyday for atleast 15 mins

Don’t eat over 700 cals 

Drink 96 oz of water everyday 

Foods off limits: Icecream, milk, peanut butter, chips, popcorn, anything cheesy, and soda. 

Goals: 

110 lbs by 10/15

100 lbs by 11/5

95 lbs by 11/15

[fauna4you]

diary entry #1 - a new beginning

hii!! my name is fauna, this is not my first time on tumblr - but I took a break (recovered) and lost the account I was on. a little info about me !! :

height- 5’3 sw- 147 lbs gw- 110 lbs

I would love to have Ana friends, I don’t need an Ana coach so please don’t reach out if that’s your intention. I’m gonna log the cals I eat in a day and I’m gonna weigh myself every Wednesday and Sunday. I will have a ‘goal weight’ every week that I want to hit by Sunday.