Lily

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[fauvehoof]

Age & Birthday: 22, January 30th

Gender & Pronouns: Cis female, she/her

Blood status: muggle born

Sided: Order of the Phoenix 

Occupation: Apprentice Apothecary

-Growing up, Lily had to balance the dichotomy she was seen through. To her parents she was a gem, a point of pride. Lily was grateful to have their love and acceptance.  She relied on it, since while she was at school Lily struggled to find camaraderie among wizardkind. When she first received her acceptance letter, Lily had felt such a rush of relief, of validation. There were reasons for why her childhood was shaping itself so differently from her sister’s. Why other children struggled to relate to Lily, to come close, as she spoke candidly about the strange occurrences that happened around her, or because she’d wished they would. It all made sense now and Lily felt herself fall into place with the knowledge that she was a witch. 

-Lily expected arriving at Hogwarts would feel like the relationship she had with her friend Severus. Fortifying, appreciative, with an encouragement to indulge in the most eclectic aspects of her personhood and to celebrate it. But, as she was called to be sorted into a house and her peers learned her surname, Lily watched their faces darken with skepticism. Evans was not a magical family- indeed, it sounded quite muggle. 

-But Lily quickly discovered that bloodlines didn’t matter, she was strong. Despite being an ingénue, Lily was top of her class, she could tell that this did not please some of her colleagues, but what option was better; To live a muggle life as a vibrant outcast, unable to articulate her power or as a witch, or to be in command of her ability, without subscribing to the dissatisfaction of others? 

-From the discrimination she faced amidst her educational success, Lily grew into a headstrong witch that valued compassion and positivity. As a child, she and Severus indulged in one another’s oddness and as a young adult, Lily supported the same inclinations in herself, leaning into her passion for intricate charm work and potions. She couldn’t help but feel that this quality was part of what separated her from Severus as they got older- it felt like he couldn’t find the same invigorating thrill in self love in spite of those who were cruel and small minded. 

-In contrast, Lily felt like this quality did positively rub off on the likes of James, Peter, Remus and Sirius- who behaved slightly better in their last year, and whom Lily became good friends with once they all joined the Order. 

-As a Hogwarts graduate, Lily was ambitious and eager to fully embrace wizarding society, but the death of her parents in a car crash arrested her plans. She hadn’t ever experienced such sadness and loss. The only thing that helped her feel better was to donate her time to the newly formed Order of the Phoenix, to protect people from the same pain. This was when Lily became particularly close to the Order in a new, found family. 

[swearwolfx-archive]

—– @fauvehoof

It was early still but he was caught somewhere the worlds of dreaming and waking, too tired to be awake but too anxious to sleep. Nights of tossing and turning thinking about the plan and Sirius in the line of fire knowing he wouldn’t come out of this unscathed. Lily and James would be on the sidelines at least, so there were two less people to worry about.

A knock sounded on his door and he yawned poking his head out from under the covers as he heard Lily’s voice. He reached for his wand before pointing it at the door so it swung open. He didn’t feel like moving from the cosy embrace of the blankets as he peered up at Lily. “Going to have to put on some tea if you want me to be awake at this hour,” he teased sleepily trying not to seem ungrateful for all of her hard work. “Or you can lie down for a moment as well,” he offered holding up one end of the blanket.

[fauvehoof]

Lily melted a little looking over at Remus in bed. She tried not to think about how anxious she was for him, with what would come by morning. She tried to take a mental photo of him, looking so safe and endearing, to hold onto for the coming days. “Oh no, no!” Lily began to assure, not wanting Remus to get up and make anything for her. She waved her hands, gesturing for him to stay exactly where he was. But at his invitation, she couldn’t help but smile. A wide, slow grin, a tug at her heart- it just reminded her of him back at school, always inviting her to his side. With an enthusiastic hop, Lily took him up on his offer, settling in against his side. Then, placing the box on his chest, Lily looked up into his face, “For you, for tomorrow.”

[fauvehoof]

@swearwolfx​ House Marauder May, 1982

She hadn’t known if she was going to be able to finish it on time, but after a few late nights, Lily was happy to be sneaking back into Remus’ home, biting her lip as she tried to make sure she didn’t disturb anyone who might be asleep or not expecting her. Prancing over to his bedroom, Lily softly knocked on his door. Wincing a little at the unavoidable sound, how large in seemed in the quietness of the house. It was worth it though, if it meant that Lily could be a little more assured that Remus would be safe the next day. She stopped herself from shuddering at the premise of The Next Day, of all the things that the Order was planning to achieve. Of Sirius, and Alice, and Emmeline- she had to stop herself before her eyes started to sting.

“Open up silly-” Lily whispered, drumming her fingertips against his door. “I’m here.”

[fauvehoof]

@afracturedstar​ House Marauder May, 1982

Lily ducked into her fireplace with held breath. Making the polyjuice potion had been fine, but for some reason, delivering it made this all feel so much more real. It felt like she’d apparated 10 times over, the horrible hooked feeling she had in the pit of her stomach unrelenting as she emerged from the fire and into Sirius’ home.

“Hey!” Lily called out, leaping over to the coffee table to carefully set down the two vials of potion as well as a small box. She winced at the sound of her own voice, a little shakier and a little less calm than she’d hoped for. She didn’t want to give Sirius any extra burden, emotional or otherwise, than what he may have already been feeling. Not that he usually, to Lily’s annoyance, seemed to mind being a body for the Order. 

“Special delivery-” she called out, tacking a smile onto her face. She looked down at the vials, hopefully the labels, which were twice the size of the bottles themselves, would ensure that Sirius and Alice didn’t take the wrong one.

[fauvehoof]

@alessandraesmee​ Lily + Emmeline’s flat May, 1982

Lily had fallen asleep the night before in a nest of her own books and notes. Anything that she had ever read or written about defensive magic was before her, from the most rudimentary notions to the most confusing spells. It had become a bit of an obsession, since her kidnapping, a bit of a fixation to do better by herself, to be able to offer more in the line of defense and protection. She still felt ashamed and embarrassed that it had happened at all, that she had caused stress, worry, and trouble for others. And there was, beneath some fragility and a willingness to just carry on, a horrible, bitter anger. It felt present in Lily more than she wanted to admit, even to herself. Her thoughts, even her most mundane activities, were now accompanied by this gnawing, swelling, unrest- and Lily didn’t know what that meant, or what would come from it.

Racing around their flat to make sure it was hospitable for Alice, Lily felt her heart brace at the thought- she was getting so much support, so much help. It wasn’t surprising, knowing the kind of person that Alice was, the kinds of people that made up the Order, but that didn’t make it any less special, any less touching.

It was going to be nice to have another chance to connect with her, to see a side of her professional capacity. Lily had always admired Alice greatly, and hoped that today, that admiration could be shown in the form of diligent and careful study. As the fireplace roared to life, Lily turned to face her, smiling brightly. “Welcome!”

[fauvehoof]

battleofpeter​:

“And you came..” Lily’s words cut through him like a knife. It was the sound of hope in her voice at the prospect of him being there on James’ behalf.  A hope that despite after everything, she still believed Peter to be someone who could help.  He wasn’t sure if that flicker of hope made him feel better or worse.  Peter Pettigrew wasn’t a good person.  At least not anymore.  He was simply owing a favour. 

“We aren’t out..yet.” Peter clarified, a tough tone in his throat. “Do not allow yourself to hope. I don’t know what sort of charms they have on this place.  And my plan isn’t exactly fool-proof.”  He spoke, it had been a long time since he done something to this standard.  Peter seemed to have been benched from both organisations since the Battle of Birmingham.  He wasn’t quite sure what his agenda was. But Peter was sure of one thing - there wasn’t going to be a fourteenth name added to his list. 

His arms out to act as a way to steady Lily.  Peter passed his wand in Lily’s direction.  Peter was good at charms but his expertise was not in healing.  Ironically, Peter had a better knack for blowing things apart.  And he faired that Lily would do a better job even in her current state.  “I got a hair…off of another Death Eater.  Edwina Avery to be precise. She’s an older lady - so if you can’t walk great. It shouldn’t draw too much attention towards you.” 

Reaching into his jacket with his free hand to reveal a vial of Polyjuice Potion. Adding the hair to it. “We just need to make it to the staircase…at the end of the hallway.  That is where the enchantments stop.”  That was when the Death Eater dungeons ended and the family home began. 

.

What was that thing that Sirius always said, we wouldn’t have survived if we were careful. Lily had never really given him any credit for that line of thinking, but now that she was in a situation where she didn’t know if she was going to survive, it set in a bit better. Lily shook her head at Peter’s warnings. “You don’t need to preface anything,” she assured, “It’s better than dying in here.”

Lily leaned against Peter without hesitation- she was in no position to choose her own ego over aid. “Thanks Pete-” she breathed, accepting his wand as soon as Peter gestured that it was alright for Lily to take. A shock went through her at the feeling of holding power again, and Lily had to ignore an intrusive thought to just blast the wall open and cause havoc.

Shaking her head as if she could wave away her own anger, Lily quickly cast several healing charms on herself. She could feel her own magic resist against the death eater’s handiwork, but she did feel better. At least good enough to walk, enough to ignore what pain there was for a little.

She couldn’t help but chuckle at what he said next, snorting softly despite herself. It felt good to laugh, even if the laugh was clumsy. “You couldn’t just rescue me, you also had to take me down a peg, hm?” Lily sighed. The laugh nearly made her out of breath, but it hardly mattered. Lily could feel adrenaline rise in her, blocking out the pains and thoughts that had consumed her before Peter had appeared, she wanted to go home and she was ready to try.

Switching Peter’s wand back for the potion, Lily held it up to him with a small nod. “To you, Pete.” Lily said, before knocking back the polyjuice, wincing at the taste.

[justicexdriven]

handwriting pseudo-meme

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[fauvehoof]

[swearwolfx-archive]

----- @fauvehoof

Remus kept her pressed against his side keeping the basket in the crook of his other arm as they took a step away from the house. “That’s very charitable of you,” he chuckled. “See if those little legs of yours can keep up or I might have to just carry you,” he mused. He considered a piggyback but wasn’t sure how she might hold up to that with so much pressure placed on her body figuring this might be safer.

“Is this the first time you’ve been out?” he asked as they walked. The air was cool but in a pleasant way that he hoped she would enjoy after being cooped up for so long. He was sure others had stopped by to see her but she was probably in the comfort of her home still. “And was the shower for my benefit?” he teased a smile on his lips the smell of clean hair reaching his nose. When they had been in their dark days they had stayed unbathed for some time and he was sure the begging of her trauma would be similar.

[fauvehoof]

"EXCUSE me?!?" Lily laughed loudly, gripping him tightly as she looked up into his face. "I can manage just fine, thank you." Lily rolled her eyes in faux annoyance. "...and I'll always accept a ride, but that has nothing to do with being too slow. My goodness."

If she wasn't so happy, she could have cried from happiness. It just felt so good to laugh and walk down the street with a friend. With him! "Yea, you're my first!" Lily answered, taking a big breath. Part of her had wanted to force herself to go out and leave the house as soon as she was back from the hospital, but even the littlest things had ended up being a surprising challenge. Nevertheless, there was no one she'd have rather been with for a first outing. Lily had never felt anything but safe and joyous with Remus.

"Honestly-" Lily said with a wince, "I can't shower enough." her voice became quieter, as if it was some solemn confession. It did point to a larger struggle she was currently grappling with, coming to terms with the fact that her experience had marked her, changed her, and that it would be something she'd carry always. And then, the guilt of souring such a sweet moment with an honest answer. Lily felt anxiety rise in her and she hugged Remus' side tighter, trying to stamp it out.

It wasn't just the room she'd been trapped in, or the torture. The hospital too was such a shock, so many people, so much attention, and then of course, Severus' sudden appearance. Lily shuddered.

"I know you wouldn't expect me to- be fine, or be perfect, ever- least of all right now." Lily continued, voice still soft, a tone reserved for certain people, for private conversations. She prefaced this, because she didn't know how to say anything, how to talk about any of it without being abrupt. Lily hid her face in the side of Remus' arm, another big breath, and shook her head. "Severus um... I hadn't seen him since we all graduated really, right? He-" Lily forced herself to look up into Remus' face, "He came to me at St. Mungos... my first real night there, the day after I arrived. He- helped heal me?"

[monderriere-deactivated20240718]

There was pleasure in the little things, Pandora thought. Tea with a dear friend, moments alone in front of the fireplace, the quiet intimacy of knowing someone so deeply, holding her baby in her arms. There was so much to hold onto, so much she’d rather have at that moment than a simple win or loss at a war that would destroy them all. It was those reasons that kept her going, that kept her under Xenophilius’ careful eye and loving supervision. 

“That’s rather odd.” Talking more to herself than to Potter, she held Luna with a decisive tightness. “I’d very much prefer that he’d take a liking to only me, not uncles and aunts. If I were his mother, I mean. Maybe I am much too possessive.”

Letting Luna go but giving her the option to either stay in her lap or climb off of it, she waved her wand to make their teacups descend into the floor, stopping right in front of them. “She won’t, she’s her father’s daughter as much as she is her mother’s.” Agreeing at once, Pandora watched Luna choose to stay, keeping a curious eye at the youngest Potter nevertheless.

“But I worry for you, I wonder if life’s been treating you good— Is your heart healed?” Hiding behind her cup, she asked, with a hint of melancholy spicing up her words.

[fauvehoof]

Lily's breath hitched as Pandora asked, not unkindly, about how Lily was. How she really was. She felt a little heat on her chest and cheeks, wondering how much the experience still showed on her. Self consciously, Lily's hand traveled to cover her chest, as she took a sip of her own tea to try and collect herself.

There was no point in not being candid about it, there was no point in not being completely honest- otherwise why live through an experience like that? If you weren't going to be genuine, what was the good on coming out of it on the other side?

"No," she answered simply, smiling softly at Pandora. "No, not healed but-" Lily tilted her head, considering her own state as she stared into the mid distance, comforted by Luna's happy little sounds. "I am well taken care of though. Well minded, and that counts for everything." Lily couldn't help but feel a little emotional acknowledging her appreciation of everyone in her life, how they'd all gone ridiculously above and beyond to make her feel safe, on stable ground.

"I feel ashamed and embarrassed that it happened at all? I should have known better, been more careful." Lily breathed, "But it's not like I'd ever say that to anyone besides myself so... " Lily shrugged, shaking her head at Pandora with a hopeless smile. "Yea. Clearly I'm still a bit caught up in it, but I'm going to be okay. I know that."

"What about you?" Lily asked, reaching over to gently squeeze Pandora's knee. "Luna is doing better? And I can't imagine you'd feel unsafe out here in this beautiful place? It's like I can really breathe out here."

[fauvehoof]

Lily stared at Sirius with her jaw set. Behind them, she could still hear the crowd heckling him, their taunts echoing down the corridors disruptively. It might have been Lily's biggest pet peeve: people trying swallow up the space of others. And, it wasn't like Sirius to not retaliate. In the years she'd watched her fellow Gryffindor grow along with her, she'd observed Sirius need very little excuse to find himself embedded in petty violence.

Well, not everyone considered it petty. Lily had, not because Sirius' intentions weren't noble... they often were, but she could never appreciate that physical escalation was going to actually help.

It struck Lily that if Sirius wasn't following through with a hex or a fist as normal, it might not be because he'd suddenly found value in dismissing this kind of attention, but particularly vulnerable to it. And that bothered her.

Turning to look over her shoulder at the group of Slytherins, Lily saw in their faces a particular glint of successful mirth. They knew that this was harder on him than the usual rows.

Lily hadn't realized that she'd stood up, until the idiot group in front of her hooted with excitement.

"What's this?" One of the Slytherin boys called, laughing. "Being Potter's bitch has made you go soft Black?"

Lily's hand tightened against her wand till her knuckles turned white.

[fauvehoof]

afracturedstar​:

Sirius stood aside, barely able to suppress his laughter as he watched the Slytherins dance about under his hex. His eyes flicked to Lily, catching the glimmer of a smile on her lips. He couldn’t help but mirror it.

“Alright, Evans,” he conceded, his tone carrying a teasing lightness that belied the tumult of his emotions. “I’ll keep my wand to myself… for now.”

As Lily moved forward, her wand discreetly held low, Sirius watched with a sense of curious intrigue. When she threatened the Slytherins with contagious boils, his eyebrows shot up in surprised amusement.

Avery, one of the Slytherins, was less than convinced. “You’re bluffing, Evans,” he spat, a cruel sneer tugging at his lips. Turning to Sirius, he added, “And as for you, Black, you’ll get what’s coming to you.”

Almost instantaneously, Avery’s face erupted with a cluster of angry, red boils. His arrogant smirk fell as his hand flew to his cheek, his eyes wide with shock. The Slytherins around him recoiled, their faces a mix of horror and disgust. Sirius let out a deep, hearty laugh.

“Well, Avery,” he managed to say through his laughter, “it appears you’ve developed a spot of bother.”

His gaze landed on Lily, appreciation gleaming in his eyes. “You’ve outdone yourself, Evans,” he said, his voice warm with genuine admiration. “I reckon they’ll think twice before starting trouble in the future.”

His gaze turned cold as it moved back to the Slytherins. “And as for you lot,” he growled, his voice dropping to a threatening whisper, “if any of you even think about retaliating against Lily, you’ll have me to deal with. And I promise you, it won’t be boils you’ll be worrying about.”

.

Lily winced as Avery’s boils appeared, hiding slightly against Sirius’ side as the rest of his Slytherin friends recoiled from him in disgust. She couldn’t help but smile against Sirius’ arm as she felt him rock with laughter. A very, very small part of her felt self conscious and guilty for having gone to such lengths against the students, but it secretly all felt worth it to see Sirius act a little bit more like his usual, vibrant, untenable self.

She smiled up into his face, relieved to see that Sirius really did look happy. She knew Sirius wasn’t without friends or support in the least- but it still felt good to be there for him when he seemed to need it.

As the group hurried away from Lily and Sirius, Lily reached into her pocket and pulled out her handkerchief. Reaching up to Sirius’ face, she applied firm but gentle pressure to the gash on his cheek, eyes still full of regret that he got hurt at all.

“Goodness-” she chuckled, holding the fabric to the side of his face. Her eyes scanned him for any other nicks that the hex may have caused. “I can’t believe we made such a good team- I mean, not  a team. Because really that shouldn’t have happened- but since it did, I think we did pretty well for ourselves?” Lily’s eyes widened slightly as the protective anger that had ruled her finally started to ease, and sense flooded her brain. Her eyes widened slightly. “Oh.... Merlin....” she started, still holding Sirius’ face. “What did I just do-”

Lily looked up Sirius for a long moment, smile falling from her face as she considered. How bad would it be? Would they push through the boils just so they could tell one of Lily’s superiors about her misdeed? But the fearful thought broke apart in her mind as Lily thought about how poorly Sirius had looked since the year started, and how- even though he was bleeding, he was now smiling with the far more familiar, oddly comforting, lopsided smile she’d come to expect.

And suddenly she was laughing again- struggling for breath as she doubled over against his side. “Please don’t tell anyone, but that felt so good-”

[fauvehoof]

@justicexdriven​ Ministry of Magic Auror Offices April, 1982

Lily wasn’t necessarily surprised to receive a summons from the Ministry, but it was still a bit overwhelming. Her months of convalescence had been carefully curated by her found family- she’d had someone with her any time she had left the house, which was still a bit of a struggle for her.

Nevertheless, Lily dressed and groomed herself- stepping out of her home alone seemed a novelty now. She could feel her hands shaking, even though she knew to be this fearful was ridiculous. It was hard to have patience and grace for herself, but she knew it was necessary.

Leaning through the doorway into Amelia's office, Lily smiled over at the official. "Hope I'm not too early?" Lily spoke, her voice a little soft. She cleared her throat. "If you need a moment I can wait out here."

[theqveenofthornsarchive-deactiv]

Eleanor Tomlinson in Poldark (2015)

[halfblxxdprinc3]

The moment Lily placed her forehead against his shoulder, Severus wanted desperately to wrap his arms around her. However, he knew it wasn't right. Not when she was in this much pain; this terrified. It made him silently vow to hex whomever hurt her in this way - no matter if they were comrades. In their battles, it became rather hard to distinguish the spellcaster from the magic. But he quickly shook that thought away, concentrating on comforting the woman before him. Only wanting to take her pain away. Once Snape felt Lily calm down and press against his chest, his arms enveloped her in a loving embrace. An act he hadn't done for years, yet it felt so natural. A hand began to run up and down her back gently, careful of any injuries he could see in plain sight, to comfort her. Her next words nearly broke his heart, closing his eyes briefly before pulling from the embrace to search her eyes; black meeting green. "I won't," Severus said without hesitation. Not because he didn't believe he'd feel it, but he could mask it. For years, Severus had perfected the art of occlumency, knowing when to use it to his advantage. If, in some way, it could help Lily now, Snape would use it in a heartbeat, "And any that I do feel, I promise not to show it." As Lily pulled away, Severus gulped; silently putting his mask back up. His expression became neutral, allowing himself to experience the inner turmoil without showing it. And luckily, it gave him something to concentrate on as the wound was revealed. Filthy Mudblood. Those accursed words that haunted him over the years. A painful memory he wished he could rip away.

Gulping, Severus gathered all his will to keep his emotions calm and collected outwardly, as to not worry her. The last thing he wanted was for her to try and comfort him when she was the one who needed to be taken care of; when he didn't deserve it. Silently, Severus brushed away her tears and her hair, "Stay still, love..." the endearment from a lifetime ago surpassing his lips. Taking a deep breath, Severus took out his wand, pointing it to Lily's chest. His countenance remained still, focusing on the task at hand. Then, Severus began to utter a spell of his own creation - the incantation almost sounding like a song as he repeated it - watching the injury begin to heal, "Vulnera Sanentur..."

@fauvehoof

[fauvehoof]

It was as if the world went away and Lily existed in a space solely made from memory and emotion. His arms closing over her a shift in time, pulling her back to dim, nondescript fields and swaying grass- to corners of libraries and potion pantries. Quiet and vivid moments in time, that Lily had not dared consider for an age. The feelings they brought felt precious but secret, a favorite relic that if carelessly used could cause great harm in her. There was a weight to it all that would have felt suffocating and regretful on her own, but she wasn't alone, and it did not hurt.

As Severus' hand drew up Lily's back she breathed in, and as his hand dragged downwards she breathed out, shaking but even. She tried to focus on the rise and fall of his own chest against her temple, the muffled beat of his heart, but when she did it made her more aware of the hospital bed's sheets- that felt so scratchy they almost burned, the over-bright hallway beyond her door, the hum of footsteps, and she refused- preferring momentarily to visit her past, which had been so unbearable to consider alone, as a surprising, impermanent refuge.

What did it mean for him to be here?

The scratch of pen in margins of books, bergamot, sun filtering through hands or trees or curtains. Legs sore from walking all day instead of going back. The way ingredients were collected and stacked, the way records were. Not having to jump to tap his window as her legs grew gangly and long. A smile Lily was certain was shown to no one else.

As he spoke, Lily jumped lightly and felt sad. She was back in the hospital once more. A bitter soreness left by the return of her consciousness, a goodbye to the brief ability to hold her past in front of her awareness and not hurt. It hadn't lasted long enough. Lily winced as she felt like herself again, certain such moments would be painful and anger inducing once more, kept at bay.

His promise of I won't pacified her slightly, but the next comment caused her to pull away from him, to look up into his face, her gaze fierce with something between concern and willfulness. "No-" she breathed, shaking her head. Show it. Lily thought, teeth clenching. Show it and just be plain with me. But she couldn't say it. Even as anger filled her, Lily felt unable to say it. If she asked for reason, for honesty, could she bare an answer?

But even as her mind fought itself to summon the wherewithal to ask these questions, her exhaustion and the potions worked to keep her numbed over, sedated, uncertain of how much was really happening. As Severus wiped away her tears with a brush of his fingertips, Lily felt another wave of exhaustion. She felt him push back her hair, a flicker of a frown passing over her face. As asked, she held still to the best of her ability. It was unpleasant to feel her skin stitch together, even though the pain of it was potioned over, so she focused instead on looking up to watch his face as Severus murmured the spell. Her heart sinking deeper and more deeper still into something narrow and remote as his expression became stonier.

When he'd finished, Lily felt her hand grip his wand arm as she stared up into his face. "Where do you go when do you that...? When you're not feeling?"

[fauvehoof]

priyarajani​:

Priya deliberately twisted her face down into a parody of a scowl, giving her a shake of her head. “Don’t laugh at me,” she chided quietly, broad smile slipping onto her features as she smoothed her thumb over her cheek to keep her focused and distracted.

Rolling her eyes with nearly enough force to nearly make them fall from her eye sockets, the black haired woman found an unmarked piece of skin not covered in bandages to gently pinch her. “Lily Jaqueline Evans Potter, if you think for one moment I’m going to move any time soon, you really haven’t been paying attention all these years,” she teased gently, “I’m going to stay here for a while, cause you’re warm, and this drafty island is soggy and drafty.”

.

Lily tried to jerk out of the way of Priya’s pinch, failing horribly as the weakness and soreness of her limbs made her movements sluggish. There was a brief laugh of victory though, as she realized she was on too many potions to really feel it, instead just experiencing a light pressure. “Hah!” Lily boasted teasingly, catching Priya’s wrist in her hand to stay her from continuing the punishment. “Well then good! We’re both getting what we want then.” It sounded so much more argumentative than Lily had intended, considering they were both just affirming that they’d like to be in each other’s company for the foreseeable future. But even this banter was such a relief to Lily’s overtired nerves.

“I’m warm? Good.” Lily sighed happily, pulling Priya closer to her again. It was honestly a relief to hear that she still felt pleasant and human in some way, because she felt anything but.

[fauvehoof]

chasingharpy​:

Rolanda carefully assisted the redhead to her feet, giving her a small, wry smile as she did. Her grip tightened slightly once she was on her feet and upright, watching her with an appraising eye as she helped steady her if the alcohol decided to try and knock her right over. “Not a problem. Can’t have you getting cut off so early,” she pointed out, voice taking on a bland, dry note for the following, “Its like rule number three to being drunk in public.”

The blonde opted not to respond to her statement, simply settling for a small, crooked smile as she lifted a shoulder in the one way she knew how to remain humble and not paint herself in a bad light. All too often people saw only the glitz and glamor of professional quidditch players, but they either didn’t know or overlooked the darker side of being in the limelight. The alcohol, the parties, the politics.

Stepping out behind her, Rolanda arched her back, feeling the satisfying pop somewhere in the small of her back as she took a deep breath of the outdoor air. “I think I probably understand more than you know. At 21, my life was on the opposite end of the spectrum. Honestly, I’m surprised I survived,” she admitted, turning to look at her with a reassuring smile, “Bit of sage advice from someone who was in her 20’s not too long ago? Quit trying to live up to the ideal. Don’t have the stereotypical life, because everyone has that. Break the mold and live your life, wherever it leads.”

Cut off early? So Rolanda expected to share a drink or two more? Lily made a sound between a wheeze and a laugh at the thought, looking up at Ro with a considering nod. Lily had to admit, she did feel pretty safe around her. It did sound like fun. 

Maybe it was her inhibitions lifting from the spirits, or maybe Lily was starting to feel less and less like she was speaking with a professor, but as they walked outside, and Rolanda finished giving her advice, Lily couldn’t help but take up her wisdom almost immediately.

“Well in that case,” Lily started, running a hand through her hair as she debated whether or not she should really ask. “Do you like discos?” 

[halfblxxdprinc3]

The moment Lily said she didn't know, Severus nodded and took his hand away from hers to place the vial down on the nightstand. If there was one thing that stayed constant in their relationship, it was Severus' fear of pushing Lily too far or making her uncomfortable. She had always respected his boundaries and made a constant effort to respect hers. Above all else, he didn't want her slipping back into any of her nightmares of how this happened to her. For he knew his comrades all too well... Catching her eyes, Severus gulped. He knew she was slipping. Immediately, he cast the muffliato charm silently so that her panic would not draw any attention to the room. Swiftly, Severus put his wand back so she would not see or feel threatened. His own eyes peered at her before shaking his own head, "Lily," he called softly, placing his hands gently on her shoulders, "You have nothing to apologize for."

Sitting beside her, Severus pondered briefly over how many times he'd lived through such similar hysteria, "Deep breaths, all right?" he asked and began to take deep breaths so that she would follow suit, "In," he inhaled counting to five slowly, "and out," he let out his breath slowly while continuing to count to ten. Much like he did in his childhood, he repeated this step until all that was left was calm breaths.

@fauvehoof

[fauvehoof]

Lily felt dizzy from breathing so fast- but she couldn't help it. Her heart was pounding so hard it felt like if she didn't find more air she would die. Goosebumps erupted over her skin, shoulders shaking as Severus closed his hands around them.

Nothing felt real. Nothing felt real until her mind refocused on Severus' voice, his breath. Lily leaned her forehead against his shoulder, shaking her head. She wanted it to stop. She wanted her body to stop hurting.

With great effort, Lily forced herself to breath more slowly, doing her best to match his rhythm. She pressed her face against his chest, helped by the feeling of his lungs rising and falling.

It was because she knew this would hurt him. Lily winced, trying not to think about the feeling of them going into her mind, pushing through her. It had been worse than any strike. Their sounds of amusement, their gasps and scoffs of her memories.

She hadn't done it, but she still wanted to apologize for it. Surely, it would bring his own recollection to the surface of his mind. "I don't want you to feel pain-" she cried, her voice a broken moan. She hoped that was enough, that explained why this was so difficult.

Pulling back from him, Lily tugged at the bandage across her chest feebly, hands shaking horribly. Lily let the bandages fall to her lap as another sob caught in her throat. She was more self conscious of herself crying like a child than she was about the exposure. Nevertheless, it was hard for her to not bow away, to not let her hair fall over her shoulders, hiding the phrase carved against her chest.

[swearwolfx-archive]

----- @fauvehoof

He should have known despite all that had happened Lily would still be in good spirits as she threw her arms around him. Remus wrapped his arms around her tightly, careful not to be too tight and he soaked it in for a moment, a willing embrace thinking of the last time his touch had been rejected trying not to squeeze her at the thought. “You could, but you might get a tad hungry if you did,” he teased her chuckling softly against her hair. 

“I might have a solution though,” he pulled back slightly, keeping one arm around her in a sort of side hug. “How about this, should be able to manage walking this way,” he concluded. He liked the contact, it was with so few people he had it, always worried about the ones who didn’t know the truth and how they would feel if they did. “What do you think? Ready?” He didn’t want to push her but thought this might be a nice small step with him at her side.

[fauvehoof]

Lily giggled as Remus made a show of holding her to his side. She pressed her cheek against him, humming with joy. There was just something about him she couldn't resist actively adoring at all times. "I will take whatever I can get." Lily practically sang, laughing still.

He was already perfect. Lily had struggled with everyone else seeing her recover, the slow heal of her cursed scars, but the thought didn't cross her mind with him. His eyes didn't appraise her, trusting that she'd tell him if she felt unwell. Lily felt like she was breathing without constriction for the first time since coming home.

"Let's get the hell outta here." she teased, taking a step out from her home.