I’m glad you’re back. Bitches were getting snapping as fuck.
Oh were they really?

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@fckcarlson
I’m glad you’re back. Bitches were getting snapping as fuck.
Oh were they really?
Is nobody welcoming enough to be nice?
"This is bullshit."
Hey guys. I'm back. I missed you all. Not.
I am so tired but it’s Friday and I dont want to sit at home and do nothing do you see my dilemma?
Well now it's Saturday. I'm a day late..
Showering high has given me an entirely new outlook on my career path. I’d be an amazing shampoo-er/head masseuse.
Oh my god. You need to give me some tips like that.
No sex in the room if I’m in there. New rule, I’d rather not hear moaning.
That's the thing Chrissy I went to her apartment so you're all good.
What a surprise, you can get girls?
Fuck you.
I woke up in some girls apartment this morning and she isnt even on the show. I have to say she was hot though.
WHERE TF IS EVERYONE
Well i'm right here.
Every since this show started, a bunch of girls have came up to me and told me that they’re in love with me and that we’re gonna end up dating. Oh.
I feel you mate. I just love it, but don't you have a girlfriend?
Maybe we could be friends?
I'd prefer not.
Or you could just not be an asshole to me?
Eh. Maybe.
Chrissy: my throat hurts asdgjk
Chrissy: but okay yes ill come to you
Carlson: Awesome.
Chrissy: meh someone come cuddle
Chrissy: plz :(
Carlson: Why don't you just ask me?
Carlson: I mean I am your roommate.
That sucks so much considering Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are amazing.
Thanks for informing me.