figure my heart out

maddison de rosa . twenty you got something to say, why don't you speak it out loud? instead of living in your head.

[jfc-taylor-blog]

“Miss me?” The brunette asked with a small smirk. Her vanishing act was silent and nobody knew where she had disappeared to. In fact, she had only gone home, but she had cut herself off from anybody. After news of a second shooter, her father had insisted she come home. So Riley up and left without a word to any of her classmates; only letting the school know. After endless convincing, she finally got her father to let her return; she didn’t know why she wanted to. Maybe deep down she just needed people around her, specific people mostly, people who we3re there that day. People who weren’t her grief stricken parents.

[fckmaddi-blog]

“I’ve never met you so i can’t really answer that question” Maddi laughed and gave a shrug “But sure welcome back?” 

[flawlessdevonne]

[blondlovato]

[thereal-love]

“I mean, I’m doing well, but I’m not going to let my grades slip.”

[fckmaddi-blog]

“After everything grades have become so much less important like.. i just can’t be bothered with it all.. it feels like a waste 

[masie-lennox-deactivated2016020]

“It’s not declining, it’s evolution. Sure, by some standards, it’s a bad evolution, but it’s still evolution.” She smirked. “I hate myself. It’s a part of my identity.”

[fckmaddi-blog]

“Point taken” she gave a small shrug “Although it’s an evolution part that i would rather avoid..” she admitted “Well thats kind of stupid. No offence” 

[ohnotalec]

“That’s all very true. Hopefully  the gun we’ll have pointed at us is a laser or paintball gun. In that case I wouldn’t mind so much.” Taylor glaceed at her then the  ceiling thinking. “I think the second shooter will kill the 13 one by one. And it’s terrifying because it’s hard to tell i they deserve it or not. “

[fckmaddi-blog]

“I wouldn’t mind if it was one of those two..” she admitted, giving a small shrug “I hope you’re wrong..” she nodded “We lost enough people.. i don’t want to lose anymore..” she admitted, shaking her head to snap the thought from her mind “Lets just hope they catch the fucker..” 

[fckmaddi-blog]

“Please tell me there is something interesting to do this weekend because i really can’t stand this moping much longer” 

[jakewilliamsss-deactivated20160]

Jacob had started the day out with the motivaton to attend all his classes in order to force himself to return to a somehwat more normal routine. To move on, at least a little. He didn’t make it far, feeling too claustrophobic in his first music session of the day, already itching to crawl back into bed. Instead of returning to class after asking for a bathroom break, he made his way out of the building, already back in the safety of his room in his mind. But his way was suddenly cut off by someone standing way to close for his liking. Looking up from the ground in surprise he only barked out a rough “What?”

[fckmaddi-blog]

“I could ask you the same question” Maddi placed her hand on her hip as she looked down at him “Where were you rushing off to?” she asked curiously. He looked like he was troubled or something 

[thereal-love]

“So I was like, a second shooter?  Big deal. Exams are the real killer.” Love joked as she walked down the hall. She could let people know that she was actually upset that her friends were dead.

[fckmaddi-blog]

“Fuck exams...” Maddi rolled her eyes “Honestly? I’m past the point of caring now..” 

[okayxtay-blog]

“So I mean why do people say their favourite hobby is eating when it’s essential to human life, I don’t get that. And I also don’t get how everyone is like ‘I’m not my true self when I’m drunk’ like why? Are you just hiding your actual self to everyone and it only comes out when you’re drunk?”

[fckmaddi-blog]

“People like to be fake - it’s almost like it’s built into human nature or something” Maddi rolled her eyes

[masie-lennox-deactivated2016020]

“Who’s got time not to? I’ve found it makes communication much more efficient.” She smirked. “I mean, I know I suck.”

[fckmaddi-blog]

“Good to know this generations language skills are gently declining..” Maddi muttered “What makes you think you make the ‘suck’ list?” 

[theo-wilder-blog]

“I’m a little bit high.“He laughed. "So smoke,food,drink then you choose my dear.” He playfully nudged her.

[fckmaddi-blog]

“Rude. Couldn’t have waited for me?” Maddi laughed as she looked over at him “Well how about we just see where this afternoon takes us” she smiled and shrugged, nudging him back. Once they reached far enough away from the building she reached into her pocket, pulling out a joint she rolled earlier, placing it between her lips before lighting it - inhaling deeply 

[ohnotalec]

“Do you really think  the person who shot up a school and got away with it would come back? I think they are long gone and soon enough the police will find them and arrest them.” He said calmly. “Plus do you really think this school will let another shooting happen?”

[fckmaddi-blog]

“It depends on how set they are on finishing what they started” Maddi nodded “At the end of the day - i don’t care at the moment and i probably won’t unless i have a gun pointed in my face... again” Maddi rolled her eyes “What about you Taylor? What do you think will happen?” She asked curiously 

[lalaletty-blog1]

“You and me both. Mom died, dad doesn’t have much of a care; I’ve always looked after myself. And when I’m bored, I’m pretty good at finding awesome company too.”

[fckmaddi-blog]

“I know the feeling all too well babe!” Maddi laughed gently “Who needs parents anyway.. it’s whatever, honestly” she shook her head “Me too..” she smiled 

[lalaletty-blog1]

“Exactly.” Jayde smirked. “Yeah, it was. It wasn’t too bad seeing my dad, either.”

[fckmaddi-blog]

“My parents stayed scarce but i’m okay with it - i don’t mind my own company” Maddi laughed 

[masie-lennox-deactivated2016020]

“Maybe it’s cause we all suck? Idk, I might be wrong.”

[fckmaddi-blog]

“Did you just speak IM at me?” Maddi cocked her eyebrow “We don’t all suck - but a vast majority do” 

[ohnotalec]

“Why does everyone feel the constant need to talk about the shooting? Why can’t be like everyone other school and complain about homework or what parties are going on this weekend?”

[fckmaddi-blog]

“This is literally the first thing i’ve said about the shooting since it happened..” Maddi laughed “I’m with you okay? But i’m also a little uncomfortable with the fact that theres someone who could decide to kill some of us roaming the halls”