“honestly, i might have and just assumed they were being nice but like, no one’s tried to smell my hair or clone me so it can’t be that bad right? now i’m genuinely worried. dude, you’ve got to drag my ass back out of that shrine closet before i’m torn apart for their sacrifices. i was just worried about stevie kidnapping me for opening night, now i have to worry about this cult too?”
“sorry bud, but you’re cut off for a while. if i hear one more weird ass comment about our teacher, i won’t be able to look at her the same. that could definitely be interesting, we’d need a backstory though. like how is this place haunted? did someone die back here? was their spirit as attached to glee as rachel berry? what?”
“No one’s tried that you’ve fuckin’ noticed, man. But, yeah - fine. If you go missing, then I’ll drag you out of whatever closet they stash you away in. Just promise me you’re not actually going to let that Evans’ kid get rid of you before opening night. I can sympathize with a cult kidnapping, but let that Ken Doll steal you away and I’ll never respect you again.”
“Fuck man, if I knew the last one was the last one I at least would’ve made it fuckin’ count. Warn a guy next time, huh? Maybe I’ll wait until the theater cult kills you and tell ‘em it’s your ghost? But we could always say it’s the crushed fuckin’ dreams of glee club kids past coming to haunt these idiots who think they’re going to be as famous as Berry one day. Might even be doing ‘em a favor, scaring them off the grind.”










