@fckthomas-blog - Tumblr Blog

let it go ;;

#tag: thread #thread: 005 #he's gone fucking nuts tbh

clcudia:

claudia understood tom’s rage, she had felt the same way when she saw hailey except she expressed her anger in a different way but both ways were just as bad as each other in hindsight and all she knew was that they had to get out of there. he couldn’t hear her plead and it was only until she grabbed at his clothing that he stopped, as if her touch caused him to get out of his fit of rage. people had surrounded the situation and she was worried authorities would come and sort it out and she really didn’t want that, worried that matt would press charges which just wasn’t an option for them. as tom apologised, claudia just shook her head, looking down at his busted up fist, blood covering it, she looked back up at tom and gave him a saddened expression. “don’t be sorry, i understand,” she whispered, looking back at matt and glaring at him before looking at the other party of strangers, rolling her eyes as she grabbed tom’s untouched hand, intertwining their fingers before leading them out, they really needed to leave. as they reached outside of the mall, she let out a breath of air, turning to face him, “are you okay?“

thomas had been apologizing quite a lot as of late, but it wasn’t as if he was just apologizing to apologize. each time he said he was sorry, he meant it, and he just wished that he could stop fucking up. usually, thomas wasn’t an angry kind of guy, but seeing matt just set something off within him, and he couldn’t hold back. he understood why claudia did what she did, but if matt was as good of a friend as he said that he was, he should have denied her, and he didn’t. thomas had to admit, however, as they walked outside of the mall and he breathed in fresh air, that he felt better. he felt relieved, and though violence was no way to settle things, thomas knew that whoever said that originally had never been in a physical fight. “i’m fucking awesome,” he said enthusiastically, but not one ounce of sarcasm was behind his statement. the adrenaline was still rushing through his body, and he felt as though he was on vibrate. his head was spinning with the thoughts of what he had just done, and thomas knew that a part of him should feel bad, but he didn’t. “hey, come here.” tugging on claudia’s hand, he pulled her close, leaning down to press a sloppy kiss to her lips. he was wired in so many ways, and it wasn’t a good thing, he was sure, but he couldn’t be bothered to care. they should have been driving out of there like a bat out of hell so that he didn’t get in trouble, but thomas didn’t actually care if he got caught, as him beating up matt was no one’s fault but matt’s. instead of running from what had just happened, he was standing outside, kissing his girlfriend as if jail couldn’t be a consequence to his actions.

let it go ;;

#tag: thread #thread: 005

clcudia:

claudia had definitely woken up on the good side of the bed this morning, she hadn’t felt this good and refreshed in a long while and the fact that she was going shopping with tom, it brought such a good mood out of the brunette. the clothing she had looked through were nice but not exactly what she would want to purchase, causing her to sigh as she looked on another rack of clothing. when she noticed him staring down matt, she became exceptionally worried, knowing from his body language that he wasn’t happy. “babe, please. don’t.” she pleaded when he said he was just going to talk to him because both of them knew it wasn’t just going to be a conversation shared between the two men and that tom wasn’t going to hold back. the girl sighed when she saw him walk off and at first, they were just standing there and she was unable to make out what they were saying but as soon as tom’s fist collided with the other male’s face, she screamed. “tom!” she yelled, running over but still keeping her distance, not wanting to get in the middle of it due to her fragile exterior. as claudia heard him yell at matt, she wished she could do something but there was literally nothing she could do but just stand there in shock. “please,” she cried, tensing up as matt fell to the ground, blood covering his face and she knew tom’s fist wasn’t in the best way either. “it’s not worth it, he’s not worth it babe.” she told him, tugging at his jumper once again, a tear escaping her eyes as she saw the mess unfold.

thomas could hear claudia calling his name, and he knew that he should have stopped his actions, but it was too difficult for him to pull away, and furthermore, he didn’t want to. he wanted to inflict as much physical pain on matt as he had felt when claudia confessed that they had been intimate. maybe this was how claudia felt when she saw hailey that day, unable to contain her emotions, only thomas was a male so his rage came out in other ways. thomas tried reaching for claudia’s voice, to collect himself, but nothing could snap him out of his intense trance. he felt her pulling on him, and then he stopped, almost instantly, the slight feeling of her touching him calming him down entirely. he sat there, his chest heaving as he glanced down that the mess below him. collecting some of his saliva in his mouth, thomas stood from matt’s lethargic body, spitting onto him with ease, and turning back to the crowd that had gathered behind the fight. he was surprised that security hadn’t come running towards the situation, but thomas knew that he had limited time before someone did call them. did he care? not particularly. he knew that regardless of what he had just done to his ex-pal, matt wouldn’t be stupid enough to press charges. “i’m sorry,” he apologized to claudia, his chest still heaving somewhat, and the sweat was just dripping off of him. looking down at his hand, thomas noticed the blood, but was unsure if it was his or matt’s. he needed to get cleaned up. they needed to leave.

let it go ;;

#tag: thread #thread: 005

clcudia:

claudia and tom had been slowly getting back to normal. she had learnt that feeling sorry for herself wasn’t getting her anywhere so she had started to force herself out of bed, making breakfast for the two of them and getting back into the swing of things, anything to feel like a normal couple again. it was a saturday morning and the couple had decided to do some well-needed shopping as the weather had started to get warmer, the two realised they were in desperate need for new clothes and obviously claudia was thrilled whereas tom was a little reluctant. “come on babe, clothes are a necessity, you’re going to sweat your ass off in long sleeved shirts and jeans if you keep your old wardrobe, it’ll be fun!” she reassured her boyfriend as they walked into the next clothing store, claudia running to the sales rack, eyeing a few items before looking back at tom, his eye on something or rather, someone else. luck had definitely not been on either of their sides as of late as claudia followed his gaze to see matt, sitting on one the benches just outside the store. “hey,” she said softly, tugging at his jumper, knowing he was going to do something he’d regret. “look at me, it’s not worth it okay? please don’t go up to him.”

the feeling of a common ground, and a return to normalcy had been welcomed by both thomas and claudia. things were definitely tough, still, and thomas had thought about suggesting therapy for the both of them, not because of the cheating, but because they just needed someone to talk to other than each other, but he didn’t, as he didn’t want to upset claudia any more. thomas deemed her to be doing well, especially since she had been dragging him around clothes shopping for what felt like decades. he had to admit that her eagerness was definitely cute, and it made him happy to see her in a good mood. “i like my long sleeved shirts and jeans!” he frowned, only really being difficult to mess with her, and when she took off for the sale racks, he decided to do a little perusing of the merchandise on his own, wondering if he’d actually find anything that appealed to him. It was when he heard a familiar voice just outside of the store that he turned his attention from the clothes and to the crowd of people that passed by. through the masses, he could see a well-known friend of his, or rather ex-friend of his at this point. thomas didn’t want to seem like a little bitch, but he was still not going to stay friends with someone that fucked his girlfriend. his jaw clenched, the veins in his neck popping effortlessly, and the beads of sweat forming on his head. it happened so quickly that he hadn’t even realized that his distaste had shown through until claudia tugged on his clothing. her voice calmed him down some, but there was nothing in the world that could stop him from approaching the kid he once considered his closest friend.

“i’m just going to go talk to him,” thomas stated as calmly as he could, but he knew claudia wasn’t stupid, and he knew “just talking” to someone that fucked his girlfriend was not a thing that could possibly happen. he had plans to deck the kid in the face, break his nose possibly, and then feel better about the entire situation. thomas walked out the store, trying to be as light on his feet as possible. approaching matt, his old friend looked up, offering him his hand to shake as if they hadn’t seen each other in some time. thomas stood there, glancing down at his old friend’s hand and then back up to his face. matt stood up, asking thomas what was wrong, and it was then that something inside of thomas snapped, more so than he thought it would. how dare he stand there and act like nothing was wrong. thomas threw his right fist into the boy’s face, hearing a crack on impact, and while thomas’ hand hurt like a bitch when he pulled it back, he knew that matt’s face hurt worse. “you think you can fuck my girl?” his tone of voice was menacing as he bent down to pick matt up by the back of his jacket. his face was bloody, but thomas didn’t care. “you think you can touch her and get away with it?” laughing sardonically, thomas threw matt back down to the ground before climbing atop of his weakened body. as if on instinct, thomas wrapped his hands into the front of matt’s shirt, picking his torso up just slightly before forcefully throwing him back down to the ground, his head clearly hitting the floor. it was far from over.

if you love me, don’t let go ;;

clcudia:

it was only until thomas pulled away, saying that they shouldn’t get carried away that claudia realised she was naked and still damp from the shower and it made her giggle, it was short and quiet but it was a giggle all the same. nodding her head, she played with her wet hair, untangling it with her fingers as she bit the inside of her cheek nervously, a usual habit for her when she was unsure on what to say or do. when tom asked whether she was tired, in reality she wasn’t but she was quite good at training her body to fall asleep even if it didn’t want to sleep. she simply shrugged, “a little? i am in a really cuddly mood if i’m honest, i just want you to hold me, please,” she whispered, still feeling really vulnerable and down but his company was helping her get out of her little puddle of sadness. “a movie sounds good though,” she agreed, not bothered what they watched she just didn’t want complete silence. he stood up and walked over to the closet, coming back with some pjs for claudia to wear. letting out a laugh, she took them, standing up, dropping the towel and putting them on quickly, still feeling quite overheated from her shower. “i’m just going to get some water, i’m really hot.” she explained, walking into their bathroom, grabbing the glass she always kept there for these moments, filling it with water and sipping it slowly as she walked back into the bedroom and jumping into the bed once again, patting next to her, insinuating she wanted tom to join her.

claudia had always been an adorable girl, and when she was feeling vulnerable and down, she became this cuddly person that thomas couldn’t help but want to take care of. he would have jumped off of a bridge, had she told him to, because if it would have made her feel better in that moment, that was all that mattered. thomas was always someone who had cared about himself, though not in a selfish way, but more of a deserving way, but he cared about others more, he had realized over the years, especially his family, and claudia. the people that he loved, their happiness came first, and seeing as how claudia was the love of his life, it only made sense. “cuddling it is.” he offered her a smile as she walked from the room to go grab some water. he could understand why she was hot, as she had taken a shower with water hot enough to burn satan himself. thomas could understand, however, as when he became stressed he took a cold enough shower to freeze out a snowman. they were opposites, clearly, but alike in the ways that actually mattered, and having a little differentiating personality was always a good thing. “let’s see,” thomas spoke to himself as he grabbed the bedroom’s television remote and began to flick through their choice of movies. he settled on some comedy with melissa mccarthy, hoping it’d put claudia in a better mood when they finally settled in and paid attention.

thomas pulled his shirt above his head, sliding his jeans down his legs, and climbed into bed when she patted the spot next to her, settling beside his girlfriend. he could still feel the heat radiating off of claudia’s body from the hot water in the shower, but it was inviting. he was hoping that his chilled skin, well chilled compared to hers, would help cool her down, and he wrapped his arm around her waist and tugged her closer to him, his head nuzzling into her neck and pressing light kisses to the skin there. “you smell good.” thomas hummed, nipping at the skin of her neck to try to get a laugh out of her. he knew all of the spots that would urge a reaction from her, and he could only hope that his trying also aided in her being in a better mood. he was sleepy, to say the least, as stress had always made him tired, but he wanted nothing more than to stay up with claudia for days on end, just so he could hold her like he was.

if you love me, don’t let go ;;

clcudia:

claudia couldn’t even put the blame on thomas. sure, he had ‘started it’ but she really didn’t need to fuck his best friend just to prove a point and because she did that, her mind triggered her little downfall. it wasn’t him, it was all on her. she just needed to accept it and move on but even that thought in itself seemed impossible to claudia. she had already lost a friend and had messed up her relationship with her boyfriend and she wasn’t sure how to fix it. thomas had been so good to her, treating her like royalty, making her dinner and giving her so much attention and just because she saw someone in public, she had to fuck everything up and bring them back to where they had started. claudia felt tom pull away, bringing his hands to her face, wiping a tear that had escaped her eye, telling her to stop apologising and that she had no reason to beat herself up over the whole situation, he loved her and was here to stay. “okay,” she muttered, taking a few deep breaths, trying to focus on her breathing and telling herself she had no need to cry anymore, tom was there, that’s all that mattered in that moment. “i love you too,” she responded, giving him a small, delicate smile. she believed him, of course she did, she had to otherwise she couldn’t even imagine how she’d respond. tom leaned in to kiss her and she reciprocated the kiss without hesitation, forgetting everything in that moment and just focused on the present, they were together, they were in love and they had no intention of leaving.

she was naked, and still slightly wet, and it made thomas realize the reality of the situation. it was vulnerable, and it was what they needed, undoubtedly. they needed vulnerable moments because they had spent so long acting as if one of them was stronger than the other. neither one of them was strong, at that point, as they had both been beaten down to their cores, and they both needed to be built back up. thomas could feel himself coming back to claudia as they kissed each other, his love for her growing with each second that their lips moving together. “alright, let’s not get carried away.” he mumbled against her lips as he broke the kiss. he didn’t want to stop kissing her, as thomas had always been able to kiss her for hours on end, but he didn’t want claudia to get the wrong idea. he loved her lips, he loved the way they felt against his, but their relationship was notorious for taking a kiss and turning it into sex. there was no part of thomas that wanted his girlfriend to think that was all he cared about, especially at a time like that. “are you tired?” his eyebrows furrowed together in concern, holding her hands in his as he looked into her eyes. “we can lay down, and watch a movie, if you want.” he was offering up an idea that would hopefully help them return to normalcy. “we can do anything you want, okay? doesn’t matter to me.” quickly, he stood from the floor, rummaging through the closet to find some pajamas for her to put on, taking out a pair of shorts and a tanktop before handing it to her. “figured you might want to stop being naked,” thomas suggested with a wink, trying to lighten the situation a bit.

if you love me, don’t let go ;;

clcudia:

thomas knew her all to well to see past her lies. she hated that but at the same time, at least she knew she had someone who cared and knew her more than she knew herself. she just wanted to have the reassurance that they were okay, that they weren’t going to break up and that all the madness was over. even if tom wasn’t even sure, she just wanted to hear it to bring her mind at ease. fanning herself slowly, trying to get rid of the radiating heat from the shower, she noticed tom sit down in front of her, holding her hands and explaining that he was going to tell her something. she blinked a few times, listening to the male intently as he explained himself, telling her that he understood why she did what she did and he didn’t blame her. she didn’t believe him but the words made her feel a tiny bit better. nodding her head slowly, pulling her into a hug and holding her tight. this was definitely what she needed, the reassurance that he was there for her and that they were okay, even if it wasn’t one hundred percent certain that they would be. “okay,” she whispered, a tear falling down her cheek as she hugged him tight, staying silent as she just let him hold her, something that she desperately needed. “i’m sorry.”

the fact of the matter was that it was all thomas’ fault. if he hadn’t been so stupid, their relationship wouldn’t have been in shambles. as he kept reminding himself, there was no going back. he had done a fucked up thing, she had retaliated, and now, as she had said in her fit of rage, they were even. thomas wasn’t going to go and fuck someone else just to prove a point that he won, as that was simply absurd, and all he wanted was claudia to begin with. he should have talked to her, talked it out with her, but instead, he fucked her best friend, and then lost his somehow in the mix (but then again, was matt or hailey really the greatest of friends--clearly, no). “hey,” he said softly as he pulled from the hug and brought his hands up to claudia’s face, caressing it gently and using his thumb to wipe the tear that had fallen down her cheek. “stop apologizing. that’s number one, okay?” offering a small, yet incredibly heart-felt smile, thomas pressed a kiss to her forehead. “you don’t need to beat yourself up over this,” he continued, pressing a trail of kisses all over her face in an attempt to cheer her up somewhat. “i love you, and i’m not going anywhere.” thomas looked into dark orbs when he uttered his final words, trying to convey to her that they were the truest words he had ever said. he wasn’t going anywhere, despite what she may have thought, and he really loved her, despite all that had happened. “c’mere.” pressing a delicate kiss to her lips, thomas tried to convey everything he felt for her into it. there was love, and passion, and dedication, but there was nothing negative, as he couldn’t actually feel something negative for someone like claudia, the love of his life.

if you love me, don’t let go ;;

clcudia:

claudia didn’t know what had gotten over her, it was as if she didn’t care anymore. she had lost the will to worry about the consequences of her actions and now, all she wanted to do was just stop. stop doing anything, stop feeling. even when she had gone through her depression back when she was a young teenager, it never got this bad. she had her bad days sure but this was more than that, it was as if a switch had gone off in her brain to just put herself on autopilot, she didn’t have control of her own body anymore, she didn’t care what happened to her.

the tears slowly stopped and now, all she was doing was staring blankly at the tiled wall in front of her. she wasn’t even thinking about anything, her mind was a complete blank. claudia could hear tom call out to her but even if she wanted to, she couldn’t get the words out. she heard the door swing open, causing the steam that had surrounded the entire room to swirl around as it connected with the much cooler air outside. it wasn’t until she felt a towel wrap around her that a sound came out of her. it wasn’t a word, more of a groan if anything but it was something. she could hardly breathe, her body needed to cool down immediately otherwise she knew she was going to pass out.

once tom carried her to the bedroom, setting her down on the bed, she looked up at him. “i’m fine,” she whispered, her voice croaky but it was audible. “i’m just tired.” she excused, obviously having enough sleep to last her weeks but it was the best excuse she could come up with at the time. looking up at tom, all she could think was how much of a mess she really was and that he didn’t deserve her. everything she had heard from others in the past, it was true. she had fucked everything up between them and now she was paying the price, falling into a pit of self-loathing and depression. “i- i need you to hug me and tell me we’re okay, can you do that? please?“

she wasn't fine and thomas knew that. he had known her for far too long to just believe the "i'm fine" lines that she'd pull on him every now and again. there was no way she was tired, either, as he had seen her sleeping habits over the past few days, and knew that she had slept enough for a family of four. it wasn't those two things, however, that had bothered him the most. what had bothered thomas the most was her request for him to hug her and let her know that they were okay. it bothered him the most because that was what he should have done the night that she came home confessing to her getting back at him. he shouldn't have said the things he did, he shouldn't have threatened to leave, but he had, and there was no taking it back. the only thing thomas could do was deal with his inappropriate actions and comments. that didn't mean he was going to deny her of the truth, however, and without hesitation, he got down onto his knees, sitting directly in front of her, just on the carpeted floor. "before i do that, i need you to know something." thomas too claudia's hands in his and pressed a series of several kisses to her fingers. "i love you, and i'm so fucking sorry for the shit i said the other night. i was out of line, and i understand why you did what you did. i don't blame you for anything." he sighed, nodding his head in affirmation at his words before scooting closer and placing her hands on his shoudlers, his own snaking around his girlfriend's waist, as he rested his head against her damp shoulder. "we're going to be okay. i promise you." his words were sincere, and he wasn't just saying that they were going to be okay for the hell of it. he believed that they truly were going to make it through.

if you love me, don’t let go ;;

clcudia:

it had been days since claudia fucked up. she had only left her bed to pee or shower, other than that, she had stayed in bed, in and out of sleep or sulking. she had called in sick for work, making out that she had some awful stomach bug but in reality, she had just gone back to her bad habits.

she put up a front for tom, telling him that she just was ill and needed to rest but she knew he saw passed that, she was just too tired to talk about it. on this particular day, it was the worse it had been. she slept sixteen hours the night before, waking up at 3pm and sheepishly getting out of her bed to take a shower, she had sweated through her sheets and she knew it wasn’t healthy for her to sleep this long, she was now overtired.

turning on the water, she wasn’t sure if tom was home yet or not but she didn’t care, her whole mind was worried about having a shower as if it was her biggest priority. the water poured down her body, the water far too hot for her body to handle but she felt numb so it didn’t make a difference to her. the tears started to fall and she just cried and cried. she couldn’t control it, she continued to sulk, thankful that the shower muffled her tears but she knew tom would wonder why she had been in the shower for this long. she didn’t know for sure how long she had been there, it had to be more than two hours at this point and for a second, she felt bad but only for the excess water she was wasting but didn’t have the energy to turn it off, instead, she continued to cry, sitting down on the shower tiles, the boiling water almost burning her skin but that wasn’t her main worry, not even close.

thomas was beginning to worry about claudia. she swore up and down that she was just sick and needed rest, but he had known her for far too long to believe her. he didn't want to assume the worst, but it seemed pretty bad, though thomas knew that if he confronted her about what was going on, there could ultimately be a disagreement, and he didn't want another one of those. there had been enough arguments about them both cheating to last them a lifetime, and if thomas had to be completely honest, he was over them. he didn't care anymore. they had both done a shitty thing, and all he wanted to do was try to go back to normal. he knew that was why claudia was sulking, and it killed him to see her like that. he was scared to go to work, to the store, to get food, but he had to do all of those things, because she was so down in the dumps that she couldn't. requesting to leave work just a little earlier than usual, thomas' boss allowed him to do so. claudia had slept far too long the night prior for him to not be worrying about her mental and physical health. thomas knew that he was partially to blame, what with all the bullshit things he had said to her, but he loved her, and he had said them in a fit of rage--a fit of rage that he was now over, and wished that she could be too. he wanted to get back to the days after his confession where they were a happy-go-lucky couple again.

walking through the front door at half past three, the first thing thomas noted was that the shower was on, and he sighed in relief at the fact that maybe she was going to fall back into a routine of getting ready, despite it already being late in the afternoon. he sat on the couch, waiting for her to emerge, or at least for the water to stop running, but it didn't happen. it neared five in the evening, and he still hadn't heard the water shut off, and now he was beyond worried. he was sure that he had dozed off in his waiting for her, because there was no way an hour and a half had flown by that quickly. he rushed to the bathroom door, seeing the steam seep out from under the crack of it, and it almost looked as if the bathroom were on fire, though there was no smell of smoke--thank god. "babe?" thomas didn't wait for an answer as he opened the door and was hit with a a rush of steam. it was beyond hot in the bathroom, and he could see claudia sitting on the shower floor through the glass door. "babe." he called, a little more stern that time as he walked over to the shower, opened the glass door, and turned the water off. he needed claudia to snap out of it.

one glimpse at her, and thomas could tell that she had been in there for longer than he had thought, as her usually tan skin was now somewhat red, and the heat that was radiating from the shower was extremely suffocating. he grabbed a towel, pushing the shower door open all the way and wrapping the towel around her body. in a swift motion, he had her up off of the shower floor and in his arms, carrying her as if they had just gotten married and were about to walk through the door of their home together--only this situation wasn't as happy as that one would have been. "what's up with you?" he questioned as he carried her to the bedroom, and set her down onto the bed. he didn't care if the sheets got wet. the only thing he cared about was getting to the bottom of her problem.

break your heart right back ;;

clcudia:

claudia was thankful that all the yelling and harsh words had stopped. it was real late and she just wanted to sleep and forget tonight ever happened. so much had happened over the past week or two that she was so mentally exhausted she felt as if she could sleep for months. she had lost a friend and so had he but she was okay with that, hailey wasn’t a good friend anyway and obviously, neither was matt. his reassurance of his love for her made her feel better, she would never get tired of hearing those words and she hoped she’d never have to. “oh?” she questioned, not expecting him to say such a thing but it made her smile. nodding her head, she watched him walk back upstairs to their bedroom and for a moment she had to remind herself that he had in fact, allowed her to sleep with him tonight. he was better than she was, everyone knew that but this proved it. claudia walked upstairs, firstly going to the bathroom, taking off her makeup that was already half gone from all the crying, she had cried a lot lately and she was over it, she promised herself in that moment that she wouldn’t cry again and that tonight was the last of it, tomorrow was a new day, a fresh start and she was going to make sure that tom didn’t regret letting her back in. chucking her hair up into a messy bun, she walked out and into their bedroom, finding her pjs that were scattered on the floor from when she threw them off this morning. getting out of her clothes, she got into her pjs, letting out a soft side as she got into her side of the bed, unsure on what to say, if she should talk at all. “i love you,” she whispered, not even sure if tom was awake but she didn’t care, it needed to be said.

as much as thomas wanted to sleep, as tired and worn out that he was, he couldn’t sleep. he listened to claudia walk up the stairs, heard the sink turn on and he could only assume that she was taking off her makeup, and he heard her enter their room, though his back was towards her. he could hear the shuffling of clothes, and then he felt her side of the bed dip. it was weird, to be sleeping with his back facing her, especially since things had been going so well (clearly before she fucked matt). he felt a wave of anger wash over him, but he quickly calmed down when she said she loved him. it made thomas smile. how could it not have? rolling over to face his girlfriend, he let his arm drape over her stomach. “i love you,” he mumbled, half into his pillow, and half coherently. his hand played beneath the hem of her shirt, feeling the skin there, soft as per usual. he lifted the fabric up just slightly, maneuvering himself so that he could press a kiss to the exposed skin, before laying his head in the same spot. “i do love you.” confirming his prior statement, thomas nodded his head, feeling a calming wave wash over him. whenever they confessed their love for one another, he often felt at ease, and despite the unlimited amounts of arguing they had done lately, the calming effect their love had on him still held true.

break your heart right back ;;

clcudia:

claudia didn’t expect tom to say he loved her back, she knew that she had fucked up really bad and so if he wasn’t ready to say it back, she wasn’t going to push it. she didn’t even notice tom come out from the bedroom but as soon as she yelled out, he was there. she nodded slowly, pressing her two fingers on the cut, waiting for him to, what seemed to be, get the first aid kit. the spray did sting, a lot and she winced at the pain but it slowly subsided when he placed the bandage over her injury. his joking manner made her happy, she didn’t think he’d be joking so soon but their whole relationship was full of surprises lately that she didn’t question it. he kissed her hand and although she didn’t deserve it, she appreciated his tender love and affection, even if it was because of a small injury. “thank you,” she told him softly but in a way that he knew it wasn’t just for helping her with her cut but for letting her stay.

nodding slowly, he kept his eyes soft, not wanting to fight anymore. it was nearing half past three in the morning, and he was simply over all of the bullshit. they had both now fucked up, and he just hoped that it was enough to let them move the fuck on. they were both going to have to drop a friend, friends that they probably weren’t ever even friends to begin with, but he was sure that they’d live. they were never the couple that only had each other, as they had enough friends to go around, and if they eliminated hailey and matt, they’d be okay. “i do love you. and i will never stop.” thomas kept his voice low, tired of the yelling, his vocal cords being strained as it was from all the yelling he had done just a little while ago. “you’re not sleeping on the couch,” he stated, letting her hand go and backing away from the counter. “i’ll be upstairs getting ready to go to sleep. you can come in when you’re ready.” thomas couldn’t guarantee that there would be a whole lot of touching, but at least there was a place they could start.

break your heart right back ;;

#tag: thread #thread: 003 #asdfkjhsf BABIES

clcudia:

claudia let out a breath she assumed she had held in for a while when tom told her he wasn’t leaving. sure, it wasn’t over yet but at least they were still together, even if it was only by a thin thread. “no you don’t,” she told him softly, shaking her head. “i love you,” she whispered, knowing it was a stretch to lean up and kiss him so she just sighed. time healed a lot of thing and so claudia hoped that, with time, the two could move past this. maybe now that they had both hurt each other, they could move on. hopefully. “no,” she shook her head quickly, “you need a comfortable nights sleep, i’ll take the couch,” she insisted, walking over to their linen cupboard just out of their bedroom to grab an extra pillow and a blanket, making her bed on the couch before she remembered the shattered glass in the kitchen. sighing slowly, she walked over, grabbed the broom and swept all the glass up into a pile, trying her best not to step on glass, she grabbed the pan, sweeping the pile into it and then emptying it into the bin. “jesus christ,” she hissed under her breath as one of the shards scraped the side of her hand when she was disposing them into the bin. “fuck fuck fuck,” she yelled, more so at everything else rather than the blood oozing from her hand. she ran to the sink, running cold water to hopefully stop the blood flow.

thomas didn’t say that he loved her back, but the second she walked out of the room, he regretted it. he always said that he loved her, and in that moment, he didn’t, and all he felt was guilt. sighing heavily, he waited a few minutes before heading out of the bedroom to go tell claudia that he loved her. she wasn’t on the couch, though there was a pillow and blanket placed neatly that he messed up, balling it all up together and throwing it on the smaller of their two couches. she wasn’t going to sleep on the couch. he wasn’t going to make her do that. he heard a hiss come from the kitchen, followed by a slew of swear words, and without hesitation he rushed to see what the problem was. he noted the blood coming from her hand, and noticed the glass in the garbage, something that he really should have cleaned up himself. “hey, put some pressure,” thomas directed quietly, before rummaging through one of the kitchen cabinets to find the first aid kit. he quickly pulled out some antiseptic spray and bandages, making his way to the sink. he shut the water off, grabbing her hand gently and warning her that it might sting. carefully, he sprayed the antiseptic over the cut, letting it absorb into her skin, noting that the bleeding was already slowing. thomas wiped the excess off with a paper towel, noting that it wasn’t too bad of a cut, and she wouldn’t need stitches. “doctor’s verdict is in,” thomas began in a joking manner as he placed a big, adhesive bandage over the cut. “you’re going to live.” offering his girlfriend a sad smile, he brought her hand to his lips and pressed a small kiss to her hand. “good as new.”

break your heart right back ;;

#tag: thread #thread: 003 #IASJDF

clcudia:

claudia hated how messed up their relationship had become. merely days ago they were cuddling and kissing on the couch and now, well she didn’t know where they stood. everything was so messed up, it was as if it was from some crazy messed up romcom. she hated herself, she hated how much anger had come from tom’s mistake and how she had fucked up even more. his back was turned when she spoke and a part of her worried that he wasn’t even paying attention and that she had poured her heart out for no reason but when he turned around, his eyes filled with anger as he pushed them towards the wall and for a second she felt as if he was going to kiss her but instead, he asked if they had used a condom and it caused her to laugh, a lot louder than she should have but it was only because he didn’t know her well enough. “yes tom, we used a condom. you’re the only one that knows i’m on the damn pill, come on, you’re the only one allowed to come inside me.” she smirked but her expression turned a little sadder when the thought of sleeping on the couch filled her mind. “you’re not leaving?” she asked, her voice coming out as just a mere whisper as she looked up at him with hopeful eyes.

he wanted to leave, well part of him did, and part of him didn’t, though the part that didn’t was outweighing the part that did, and thomas whas okay with that. “i’m not leaving.” a sigh escaped his lips, his chest’s heaving slowing down somewhat, and he dropped the shirt the was still in his left hand to the floor. “i fucking hate you.” he wouldn’t look at claudia, as he was trying to rid the tears that brimmed his eyes. he didn’t feel like crying anymore. he just wanted the nightmare that they were facing to be over. maybe it was. maybe claudia just needed to get back at him for it to all be okay, and now not another bad thing would happen between them. “i’ll take the couch.” it was all he said before he turned away from her again, throwing his suitcase near the closet door. he’d put everything back later, but for now, he just wanted to go lay down and act like he hadn’t just spent the night waiting up for some selfish bitch. thomas hated the fact that he loved her so much, as the only thing he wanted to do was hug her and kiss her. thomas wasn’t going to, though, as he was sure he wasn’t going to want to touch her for a long time, condom or no condom.

break your heart right back ;;

#tag: thread #thread: 003 #I'M SAD

clcudia:

his yelling scared her. she had heard him yell before but not like this. claudia fucked up, bad. she didn’t know what to do. why was she so impulsive, why did she never think before she did things, she hated herself. more than tom hated her. she couldn’t speak, there was a million things she could say but nothing came out. she knew he didn’t deserve her, everyone told her that and now, her one mistake proved it. what happened now? were they actually over, for good? did she have to go through the pain and suffering of moving on? was she ever going to see tom again? there were so many questions and she couldn’t think straight. seeing him throw clothes left, right and centre into his suitcase just reminded her of something she probably should’ve done when he told her about his cheating but nope, she had to break his heart right back. he had broken her, she was unable to speak and that was when she fell to the ground in a pool of tears, crying, harder than she had ever cried before. harder than when she was on the patio that night. if he wanted to leave, he could leave, she wasn’t going to stop him. he didn’t deserve her and even though she’d have to live with that thought the rest of her life, at least there wasn’t going to be anymore hurting coming from either one of them. he was still packing when the tears stopped and she stepped up from her corner, looking at him in the eye. “so that’s it? the end of six fucking years of being together? we’re done because i fucked up without thinking. love doesn’t just leave in a blink of an eye and you know it. we can take a break but this isn’t over, i’m not letting that happen, okay? i need you and you need me. you know that.“

maybe he was being irrational, but most guys were irrational when they were hurt. he didn’t know what to do, or what he wanted to do. thomas heard claudia’s sobs, and it was then that he slowed his pace, still pulling clothes from the closet, but simply doing it in a less aggressive, and more slow manner. fuck. his mind was a jumbled mess, but the only thing he could say to himself over and over again was fuck. that was the one thing he could pick out from everything else. he was fucked. she was fucked. their relationship was fucked. it was all fucked. he hated the fact that he had started whatever little game she wanted to play. he hated the fact that they had both done something so fucked up that there may be no return. thomas stood there, a shirt in his hand, and a defeated sigh coming from his chest. claudia spoke, and though he was trying to act as if he wasn’t listening, with his back facing her, he really was listening--and intently. his tongue ran over his teeth, his nostrils flaring somewhat as he turned around to face her. his eyes were dark with rage, and the veins in his neck were still popping to the surface. his jaw clenched once again, and he closed the distance between them so tightly that he ended up backing them against the wall, smirking when he heard her back hit it. “i’m so fucking disgusted with you. but i fucking love you.” thomas shook his head in disbelief, his right hand grasping both sides of her jaw, not rough, but not gentle either, as he forced her to look into his eyes. “if he fucked you raw, you can get the fuck out of my apartment, and don’t ever come back. if he used a condom, you’re more than welcome to stay...” he paused. “on the fucking couch.” there was no way he’d ever touch her again if his “friend” had just spilled himself inside of her.

break your heart right back ;;

clcudia:

claudia knew he was feeling the same way she was when he broke her heart in two, his words slowly raising in volume and it was until he threw the wine bottle that she shrieked and as if she had snapped back into reality. she knew she’d have to clean that up but now she was more focused on tom. looking at him with wide eyes, she was confused by his words, was he leaving him? “so what, you’re leaving me? i’m not the one that fucked up because you weren’t getting any and needed a fucking stress release, fuck wit. i fucked him because i was angry!” she yelled, following him into the bedroom and realising what he was doing. now she was worried. she felt sick. she didn’t know whether to yell, cry or throw up. “tom…” she whispered, shaking her head. “this isn’t over for us… you can’t just break up with me. are we not going to talk about this?” she asked, scared to go near him in case his anger caused him to do something rash. “please, stay.” she cried, tears now filling up in her eyes before they started to fall. “don’t.“ claudia spoke but her words got all choked up. “come on tom, yell at me, tell me i fucked up and that you hate me but don’t leave me. please.”

thomas knew that he was the first one to fuck up. he fucking knew that, but that didn’t mean that she had to get back at him. all she had to do was leave him. if it bothered her that much, she should have left, and he just wished she would have gotten that idea into her thick ass skull before going to fuck his best friend, someone whom he had been distant from for a while. “it’s not fucking over?” he was yelling, so intensely through his teeth that he was almost scared that his jaw was going to break. “you don’t think it’s fucking over?” in a predatory way, thomas stepped forward, leaving little space between them. “i fucked up. i know that. i admitted to it, but fuck, claudia. i would have rather you just left.” his voice seemed a little calmer than before, that was until he raised his fingers to her head and pressed gently. “your thick, fucking skull is always ready to get on the rebound instead of thinking of the logical fucking answer.” shaking his head in disbelief, he walked back over to the closet, pulling his clothes from the hangers. he was done. there was no going back. if she couldn’t leave, if she was too much of a little bitch to leave, he wasn’t going to be. “are you happy now?” thomas questioned as he threw his clothes into his suitcase. “i told you that you fucked up and i yelled at you.” he paused, a smirk coming onto his features in a menacing way. “and i fucking hate you.”

break your heart right back ;;

#tag: thread #thread: 003 #I'M HURTING

clcudia:

claudia knew what she did was unbelievably fucked, she thought forgiving him was one thing but cheating on him right back, that really wasn’t something she had planned it just sorta, happened. she knew she’d regret it in the morning when she had the time to actually process what had happened but for now, she was far too pissed and unable to think clearly to see what she had done wasn’t the best idea. claudia knew the male had been up all night, she could see the bags in his eyes and the worry in his features but did that give her guilt? nope. walking a little closer to tom, she was really ready to slap him but she kept her composure, staring up at him blankly. “i didn’t talk to her of course, we all know what i would’ve done and i didn’t think to hit her in public was the best idea so…” she shrugged, a smirk tugged at her lips as she could see how hurt he was, payback is a bitch, she thought. “matt and i hung out, he’s a good bloke. shitty friend if you ask me but a decent kid. decent fuck too.” she said, her words as sharp as knives as she licked her lips, unable to actually comprehend herself, it was as if her dark side just had full control over what she said and did and she had no willpower to stop. “but it’s okay right? you fucked up, i forgave you. now we’re even. both heartbroken but we both love each other, don’t we babe?” she asked, running her fingers through her hair as she walked away and into the kitchen, grabbing her bottle of wine and pouring a glass, sipping it with the hint of elegance she had left in her.

thomas listened to his girlfriend taunt him, feeling as though he was going to be sick. he knew what he had done was fucked up, but he never imagined claudia doing the same just to get back at him. he thought he knew her better than that, but he was apparently wrong. did he have a reason to be hurt, though? was what she was saying correct? were they now “even”? two wrongs never made a right, and thomas could feel the pain spreading through his body, the anxiety rising in his chest to the point where he almost couldn’t breathe. “i can’t believe you.” his voice held something beyond hurt, something beyond pain, and all he could do was follow her into the kitchen and say that he couldn’t believe her? he knew that part of him shouldn’t have been mad, as she really did have a point, but the part of him that had began to put his mistake in the past was devastated. “are you fucking kidding me?” his voice rose above a quiet level, damn near reached screaming, and without thinking, he grasped the wine bottle that she had set down on the counter and threw it with all of his force at the wall across from him. it shattered, wine spewing everywhere, and glass falling to the floor. he wasn’t cleaning it up. in fact, he wasn’t staying. “i’m gonna do what you should have done.” thomas had managed to calm himself down, the words he spoke to claudia so calm that it was almost scary. “consider me gone.” with his face as stoic as his voice, thomas walked away and to their room. he rummaged through their closet for his suitcase, throwing everything that was in his way. “fuck this.” he ended it, because she had been too chicken shit to do so.

break your heart right back ;;

clcudia:

to think that claudia was going to be able to have a good day, out and about doing errands without it getting fucked up but of course, in the middle of the shopping centre she had to see, her. she hadn’t spoken or heard from hailey whatsoever since thomas let her in the know about their little thing. she assumed thomas had told hailey that she knew and that the girl was just avoiding her and that was probably the case but seeing her in the flesh now that she knew, claudia couldn’t help but feel all the pain and heartbreak she felt when he told her.

at first it was sadness, she cried when she got back into the car but then, then came the anger. she really knew she could hit someone in that moment, whether it was thomas, hailey or just a random stranger, she was ready to throw a punch. instead of resulting to violence, all she could think about is making thomas feel the same way she felt when he broke her heart in two with the fucked up thing he had done. texting someone who she knew was shit enough to break thomas’ trust, she called his mate matt who, fortunately, was up for seeing her, despite it being out of nowhere and totally late notice, she didn’t care, she needed to get back at tom.

matt understood and honestly, he was all for it and that made it even more fun. she hadn’t fucked anyone other than tom in years so it took her a while to actually make a move on the guy, they made out and eventually, fucked on his bed, quick and easy and although she wasn’t doing this as a stress release like thomas, she couldn’t help but still feel unfulfilled, as if it wasn’t enough. so they fucked again and again until it was almost one in the morning and she knew she had to go home.

walking into the house, she was certain thomas would be up and waiting for her, he had blown up her phone which of course she ignored, being far too angry to speak to thomas via text, she needed to wait until she was home before she could say anything. “so i ran into hailey today…” she spoke, trying to act nonchalant. “i can see why you picked her to fuck, she’s a real hotty hey?” claudia commented, looking him dead in the eye. “i think two wrongs really do make a fucking right because wow i feel so much better.”

it was late, and thomas was worried. he hadn't heard from claudia since the morning, and he had gone through work all day, and had gone through all night without hearing a single thing from her. he figured that when he was at work she was just out busy doing errands, and that was why he hadn't heard from her. thomas had gotten home early, and had ultimately decided to make them dinner, some other recipe he had gotten out of a magazine at his job, but when she didn't show up, thomas simply threw the food onto a plate and covered it with plastic wrap and called it a night. he didn't know where she was, and he texted her fifty times over, getting more worried by the second. at first, he thought that she left him, but things had been going so well for them that he deemed that not an appropriate thought, and that he needed to have a little more faith in her. if she really wanted to leave him, she would, he was sure. once the common, involuntary thought was out of his mind, he began to panic a little bit, his mind then switching to something out of a criminal minds episode. had she been kidnapped or something? that also seem irrational and unlikely. he called her parents, asking if they had heard from her, in which they replied 'no', but stated they'd call him were they to hear anything. he wondered if she had told them something, and they were just covering for her. whatever the reason, thomas didn't believe them, and maybe it was his guilt that made him feel that way.

thomas was sitting on the couch that faced the front door, his head bobbing up and down occasionally as he tried to stay awake. his eyes were heavy, as when thomas became stressed, he often became tired. it was around twelve when he looked at the clock on the wall, and then it was around one when he glanced up again. he must have fallen asleep for an hour or so, because time had seemingly flown by. he stood from the couch, stretching his tense limbs and then making his way toward their bedroom to check to see if she had come home. she hadn't. it was when he rushed back into the living room to check his phone that he heard the front door open and in walked claudia. she spoke the second she saw him, but all he wanted to do was flip out on her, ask her what the fuck had happened, and why she couldn't just have, at least, sent him a text. "what?" his voice had an edge to it, and he wasn't sure if it was because she had just brought up hailey, or the fact that she had been missing the whole fucking day. "what the fuck did you just say?" he stepped closer to her, in almost a primal manner, as his thoughts began to race again, only this time, going to the one place he swore they'd never have to go to. "what the fuck did you do?"